Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Iyanla Vanzant Talks New Book 'Spiritual Hygiene', The Inside Fix, Leadership, Accountability + More

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INTERVIEW: Iyanla Vanzant Talks New Book 'Spiritual Hygiene', The Inside Fix, Leadership, Accountability + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
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  Speaker 2: The crown is yours. I love every day clicks up
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  Speaker 2: the Breakfast Club.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: All Done Morning, everybody is dj n V, Jess Hilarious,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Charlamagne the God. We are the Breakfast Club. Laura La
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Rosa is here as well, and we got a special
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: guest in the building, the Legend.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: Welcome back. I am blessed.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: How you I'm doing amazing.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: All of this young energy. I'll take it on it.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: I was born in nineteen seventy eight. If I'm young,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: do you thank you?
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: Seventy eight? I got abroad it, I bought seven.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: You never stopped working.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: No, you're here today because you got a new show,
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: The Inside Fix. But you just put out a book
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: Spiritual Hygiene and December.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Why can't you ever keep still well?
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Because I don't want to grow roots, want to grow roots?
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: You know, roots are not not helpful. God, it's good,
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: you know, don't We need it?
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Absolutely?
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: We need the work, so we need the energy. So
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: I'm out here. I'm out here. I could be on
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: the poll, but this is so much more beneficial.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Let's see the first episode hilarious.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: So for people that don't know, it's almost like, where
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: are they now?
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: Where are we now? Not them? Yes, where are we now?
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Break down the show?
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah. What I did was we went back into some
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: of our highest rated shows with the most of them, huh,
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: the most I know. I'm a mean machine. And we
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: looked at those shows for issues that are going on today,
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: because the way we deal with stuff today is very
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: different than we did twelve years ago. Twelve years ago,
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: these six women had a problem and they pulled their
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: their copy down off the internet. Today, you know, that
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: would be ig I T Facebook, they would be canceled,
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: and so how we deal with it today? But the
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: issue of breakdown among women is just as prevalent today
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: as it was back then. So how do we deal
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: with that? How do we address that? So that's what
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: we're doing. We're going back into the shows and looking
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: at how to take those issues and apply them.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I love how you did it.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: Why did you find that more appealing than revisiting I mean,
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: why did you decide to revisit older stories instead of
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: helping new families?
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: Because I'm old, I'm old and season, you know, because
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: we just keep reinventing stuff and we don't even really
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: get all the juice out of what we got. We
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: didn't get all the juice out of fix my life.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: That's why we can go back in and do it
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: again today. The things that are applicable back then, I
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: did shows with mothers and daughters, and now you have
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: mothers divorcing or daughters divorcing, mothers, children not speaking to parents.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: That wasn't going on back then. So yeah, and also
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: to let people know that sometimes you don't even know
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: what you're looking at, because people looked at that and
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: got into the characters and the people, but they were
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: looking at a whole nother thing, just like in the
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: world today, we don't really know what we're looking at.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Expound on that we don't really know.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: We're trying to get me shot. Do I look so,
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Molly and.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: I DMX could have lived to be on this show.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: He wasn't ready. I think he was willing, but he
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: wasn't ready, And you got to be both. Can't be
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: just ready and not willing or willing. He wasn't He
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: wasn't ready. You also talk about lady balls, lady ball
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: who yes, okay, now, but we gotta understand that lady
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: balls and testicles are different. Okay, because testical You see
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: what you see now, The hair you see on testicles
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: is real.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Get defended.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: You see a lot of women, because of the the
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: way we are conditioned and programmed and educated, take on
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: masculine qualities, you know, and and they think it's powerful.
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  Speaker 3: But feminine power is very different than masculine power. Feminine
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: power is assertive, masculine power is aggressive. Feminine power is directive,
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  Speaker 3: it's nurturing, it's nourishing, it's clear, and masculine power is
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: often domineering and controlling and directive as opposed to collaborative. So,
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  Speaker 3: lady balls, you know a lot of men today want
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  Speaker 3: to be the boss and they want to be the
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  Speaker 3: diva and have no leadership skills whatsoever. Lady balls are
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  Speaker 3: how a powerful woman lives in, moves and stands in
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  Speaker 3: her power in a way that nurtures, nourishes, supports, heels,
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  Speaker 3: grows other people. It's not testicles. Testicles are aggressive. They
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: got here and sometimes they smell. Don't ask me.
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  Speaker 5: I know, you know.
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  Speaker 2: And it's interesting.
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  Speaker 4: In one of the episodes, you point out that women
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  Speaker 4: don't know the distinction between assertiveness and aggression.
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  Speaker 2: How do you advise women to create a distinction between
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  Speaker 2: the two.
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  Speaker 3: Well, lead with your heart and not with your head.
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  Speaker 3: Lead with your heart. That's that's ladyballs. Lady balls don't
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  Speaker 3: come from the crotch, They come from the heart.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Did you come up with the certain lady balls?
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Did you come up?
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  Speaker 3: I said it for so long, but then when I
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: went to buy the trademarket, people have said that, but
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: I spell mind differently, and nobody else has a deck
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: of cards. My team created a deck of cards so
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: you can pull your lady ball card. Talking about balls,
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: mister Willie doesn't have to show up.
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  Speaker 6: What do you say to women who have like because
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  Speaker 6: a lot of women shy away from leading with their
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  Speaker 6: heart because they're called to emotional or they they're scared
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  Speaker 6: to be vulnerable and make decisions based off of emotion
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  Speaker 6: because they think that they're not thinking clearly.
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  Speaker 3: Why do you think the heart is about emotion?
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  Speaker 6: That's what most people would relate heartfelt decisions too. When
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  Speaker 6: it comes to women, well, who men? Yes, men, because
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  Speaker 6: most women are so far out.
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  Speaker 3: Of their heart they don't even know what the heart does.
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  Speaker 3: The truth is that the mind was created to be
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  Speaker 3: a slave of the heart, but we've made the heart
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  Speaker 3: a slave of the mind or the intellect. Heart centered,
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  Speaker 3: is grounded, It's clarity and again, nourishing, nurturing, edifying. It's progressive.
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  Speaker 3: The heart is progressive. The mind gets stuck in the loop.
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  Speaker 3: That's why we have therapy. Don't nobody go to nothing
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  Speaker 3: to try to get their heart fixed. They trying to
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  Speaker 3: fix their head. The heart doesn't get stuck in the loop.
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  Speaker 3: The heart remains open because the heart is where God speaks.
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  Speaker 3: God doesn't speak in the intellect. God speaks in the heart.
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  Speaker 6: When did you realize how to best use your Lady Balls?
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  Speaker 6: Because I saw you talk about you know, when you
• 8:32
  Speaker 6: were raising your kids, you were being the father and
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  Speaker 6: you weren't the mother. You weren't the most nurturing. So
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  Speaker 6: when did you realize how to lean into that?
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  Speaker 3: I think when I lost my first daughter and I
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  Speaker 3: had to raise her daughter m and I looked at
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  Speaker 3: all the mistakes I had made, and I didn't want
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  Speaker 3: to be continue to be a father, and so I
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  Speaker 3: got a chance to be a grandma doing a mom's job.
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  Speaker 3: So that was really really helpful for me. The other
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  Speaker 3: thing is that you know, I'm a student of a
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  Speaker 3: course of miracles, and a course of miracles says I
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  Speaker 3: must have decided wrongly because I am not at peace.
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  Speaker 3: So it comes a moment when we make a choice
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  Speaker 3: or decision, but we wrestle with it. We're not at
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  Speaker 3: peace with it. And Ladyballs allows you to be assertive
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  Speaker 3: and clear grounded and peaceful. A lot of decisions I
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  Speaker 3: make with my head leave me in doubt and flux
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  Speaker 3: and craziness. But when I really do decide with my
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  Speaker 3: heart and I'm at peace, that makes sense. Yeah. So
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  Speaker 3: I think that's how I learned how to use Lady
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  Speaker 3: Ball's grandmother.
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  Speaker 1: You give yourself grace, though, because when you talk about.
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  Speaker 3: It, absolutely I give myself a lot of grace. And
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  Speaker 3: when I say, like I was a horrible mother, which
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  Speaker 3: I say in my book, or when I say I
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  Speaker 3: made a lot of mistakes with my son, with my children,
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  Speaker 3: it's from a learning, not from the condemnation. I don't
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  Speaker 3: judge it. You know, my kids chose me. I was
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  Speaker 3: just trying to get some nookie. They decided they wanted
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  Speaker 3: they decided they wanted to be born. So here they come,
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  Speaker 3: intruding in my nude, in the citious activity. They chose me.
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  Speaker 3: So they came to learn too. So we're teaching each other.
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  Speaker 3: Grace is very important, even.
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  Speaker 5: With your your past, because your new show is you
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  Speaker 5: know the inside fix.
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  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 7: So you said you chose to go back and you
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  Speaker 7: know to previous cases. Right, do you feel at any
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  Speaker 7: time back then you got it wrong?
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Or you mean, oh no, absolutely not not there. You
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: know why I prayed about every show, and that work
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: was my ministry that was led by spirit. One of
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: the reasons we're doing the inside fix is because back
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: then I did the work. Now I want people to
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: do the work. Every single show comes with a worksheet.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Had a television show give you homework? No, so that
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: you can look at the show and say, where is
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: this in my life? How do I do this? Where
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: have I done this? Where is this going on? Download
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: the work free? Free? Don't we like free? Free worksheet?
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: So I did the work, then now you do the work.
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: I want to ask you a question about what you
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: said about women having masculine qualities. Masculine qualities but no
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: leadership of ability.
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  Speaker 3: They want to be the boss and the diva, but
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: they don't have leadership tendencies, leadership training, leadership, not even qualities,
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: because you can have leadership qualities, but you have to
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: have The leader has to have a heart. We see
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: what it looks like when a leader doesn't have a heart.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: Let me, I don't look Somali.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Is that something you can learn or is that something
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: that has to be in you already?
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Well? I think that leaders are born, but they definitely
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: have to be trained. Some people say leaders are trained.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: They're not born. I believe leaders are born. Some people
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: just rise into it. But there's certain qualities and characteristics
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: that an effective leader needs. And the one thing is
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: heart for people. Another thing is a vision. Leadership isn't
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: just about ordering people around and telling them what to do.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: A leader has to have a vision and then you
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: get people to buy into the vision and you lead
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: them in that vision in a way that's whole and
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: healthy for everybody.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: Know, you'ret in corporate America all the time.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: A lot of people in leadership roles and leadership positions,
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  Speaker 4: but they're not actually leader.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: No vision. They're controllers, they're demagogues, they're bullies, they're all
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: sorts of things. And whenever money is the only thing
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: that leads you, you're going to have a problem.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: What would you say to somebody who was, like say,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: in a workplace or in a relationshiphip that wants that
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: work relationship or real relationship to work.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: One of the exercises you did on the first episode,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: which was from what twenty fourteen I Love It was
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: you brought everybody to a department store and you made
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: everybody shop for each other. You buy this person outfit,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: you buy this person. Yeah, and then when you did,
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: you said, well, why did you buy that person at?
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: How do you look at them? So what would you
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: advise for a couple or even somebody working to do
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: to try to fix it because you can't be there
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: or they can't afford you.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: Well, they can read my book because in spiritual hygiene,
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: spiritual hygiene for relationships, spiritual hygiene for parenting, and spiritual
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: hygiene for the workplace. Here's the thing in any relationship.
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: Three things. Number one tell the truth. One of the
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: reasons our relationships are dying and drying up is because
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: we lie about everything. We lie about what we feel,
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: we lie about what we want. Sometimes it's not a
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: conscious lie, it's a lie driven by fear. The fear
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: of losing, the fear of being harmed. So we don't
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: want to be vulnerable. But in order for anything to
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: grow and thrive, you gotta have some truth. The other
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: thing is accountability. All the stuff that we're not seeing
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: in the world today, tell it to be accountable. Don't
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: blame and project own your stuff, own it and be
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: accountable for every choice, every word, every action, and know
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: what you're bringing to the table, particularly in the workplace,
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: people go to work to make money. People go to
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: work to you know, very few people go to work
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: to serve. So what do you bring into the table
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: that you want something in return? Give me, give me,
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: give me, give me, give me. What are you bringing
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: to the table? So I think that if we did
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: that in relationships, if we did that in the workplace,
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: we'd have a lot more respect than honor. For if
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: I can't believe that you your grandmother didn't die again
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: for the third time at me because you only died once,
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: you know, where do you do somebody in the face
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: and believe that what they're telling you is the truth,
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: that they're not trying to take you down or get
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: something from you?
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Or it's can we stay? I want to stay here?
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: With the spiritual hygiene, first of all, I love to
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: tite a little book. What is spiritual hygiene and how
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: do people tend to it?
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: It's the daily, daily commitment and practice of clearing your mind,
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: of cleaning your heart, of strengthening your spirit. It's not
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: a one time thing, it's a practice. Your spirit has
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: to be maintained like your teeth. You know, are people
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: brush their teeth every day and go years without an
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: examination of their own thoughts, they got fungus in the mind.
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: Many people are emotionally constipated, still bad about mad about
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: something that happened in fifty six. How do you clean
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: that up? You brush your hair, you wash your hohuha,
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: you know, but you don't clean your spirit, your heart,
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: your mind. So spiritual hygiene is the daily practice of
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: clearing your mind, your heart, your soul, your inner life,
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: so that your outer life can have a different appearance.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: So what about the people who pray?
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: They go to therapy, they meditate, they sage, but they
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: still stay toxic, Like, what's the prayer?
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: What is the prayer? Most people beg they don't pray,
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: you know, and all of that is good, But what's
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: your relationship? What is your relationship with God's souls, creative
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: spirit of your understanding? What is your relationship? God doesn't
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: want your you know, tides and service only. What is
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: the relationship? And most people, many people, I won't say most,
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: I'll say many. Many people learn the function and the
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: doing of the prayer, but they don't have the presence
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: in the prayer. They don't have the relationship with the
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: very thing they're praying too why I didn't. I grew
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: up in the church. You know, I'll tell you a
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: real funny story. They were trying to baptize me. I
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: must have been five or six in the Apostolic church.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: You know that's everything's a sin. Yes, rolling your lip
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: is a sin. Anyway, they're getting ready to baptize me,
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: and you know, they dunk you down in the water
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: and stuff, and they say to me, will you take
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and save you?
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: Now this is way back when, and that's how old
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: I am. When Jesus was still on the cross with
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: the little droplets of blood on his hands, I me,
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: the brilliant child. I look up and not say who him?
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: He can't help know I got beat until tomorrow. You
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: can't help me because you know he's died off the cross.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: Now you don't see it. But we were fed religion,
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: we were told what to do. We weren't taught to
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: build a relationship. And it took me a long time
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: to know that it wasn't about the doing of it.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: It was about the being in relationship, in the presence,
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: being present in the prayer, being still and knowing.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: When did you learn to pray and big.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: When the beggan wasn't working, I just got tired of begging.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: And then I said, Okay, what am I doing wrong?
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: I'm begging and you're not paying attention, and this is
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: not the way God is supposed to respond. When I
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: learned two things, how to be still and how to
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: know how to be still within my mind, my heart
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: spiritual hygiene, and how to know when I was in
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: the presence, not when I was reaching out, but when
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: I was turning in, And that was it for me
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: instead of going out going.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: We see a lot of.
• 19:22
  Speaker 7: What are some of the preventative measures that you take
• 19:25
  Speaker 7: so you can you can actually grow grow up with
• 19:28
  Speaker 7: these things, like like good spiritual hygiene, because a lot
• 19:33
  Speaker 7: of people would agree that bad spiritual hygiene is everywhere,
• 19:38
  Speaker 7: every waywhere. But if people knew how to you know, simple, simple,
• 19:44
  Speaker 7: you know what I'm saying, Like how seven minutes three
• 19:47
  Speaker 7: times a day for twenty one consecutive days, shut your mouth,
• 19:50
  Speaker 7: turn off everything, be still seven minutes three times a
• 19:55
  Speaker 7: day for twenty one days. You know, many people would
• 19:59
  Speaker 7: rather use their front teeth and shut their mouth and
• 20:02
  Speaker 7: get off the phone. That's right, Just to be still
• 20:05
  Speaker 7: because in the stillness, everything's going to rise to the surface.
• 20:09
  Speaker 7: You can journal it out, you can speak it out.
• 20:11
  Speaker 7: You just become aware of it.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Because the first step, the first foundational principle of spiritual hygiene,
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: is self awareness. People don't know that their armpits think.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: They don't know that they talk too loud. They don't
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: know that. You know, people don't know nothing about theirself
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: because they're looking for everybody else to tell them self awareness.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: Start there, seven minutes, three times a day, every day,
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: for twenty one consecutive days. It'll take you somewhere.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: Why do you think people are more committed to physical
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: hygiene the spiritual hygiene because the spirit controls everything.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, but again, most of us were religiousized. We
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: weren't spiritualized, and so we want to intellectualize the spirit
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: as opposed to spiritualize in the intellect to go in
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: there and get that up. And so we we we
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: don't like everything else we're taught it's a doing. Hm.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: We know how to do spiritual things? Do we know
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: how to be in the presence of spirit? You know
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: how to do that? And it's frightening. And the thing
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: that frightens us more than anything else. I think in
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: my years of working with people, it is their own
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: spiritual power that I am ness. You know, we are
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: an eachness and the allness of God, and that eachness
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: is powerful. And people are so convinced that they're unworthy
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: and less than till they have a difficult time embracing
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: and stepping into the power and the greatness.
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: I wonder why, Like my daughter asked me that my
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: daughter said to me, and my daughter said, Daddy, why
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: do we pray but we don't go to church?
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: And I said, because we are Jehoa.
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: We believe in spirit, not really like you know, going
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: to church to me as a religious practice, But we
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: are people that believe in the spirit.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: But can I ask you a question, is it? Are
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: you open to another possibility? Praying is going to church?
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: Praying is going to church. You're going in the temple. No,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: you're not. That you are a temple, that you are
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: the temple of God. So praying is going to church.
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: Tell her that next time, WI, this is church.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: My uh, I'm grandmother ring now I'm raising my great grandson.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: That's why I look so young and fabulous. And and
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: we pray at night before we go to bed. So
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: one day he said, uh, yeah, yay, that's what he
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: calls me. Yeah, yeah, Exactly who is it that I'm
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: praying to? And I said, you're higher self your I
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: am that that thing that people call God. But it's
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: not out there, it's in here. He said, where where
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: is it? I said, it's in your heart, it's in
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: your soul, it's in your DNA, it's in your bone mouth.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: So you know, that's how I'm teaching him. Nobody taught
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: me that. They taught me the guy up on the
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: cross with the little droplets of blood. And when I
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: said to them, you know him, he can't help me,
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: how's he gonna help me? And I got beat? Ooh
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: that was I just remember, I'm being traumatized right now.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: I'm having trauma memory.
• 23:33
  Speaker 6: But in moments like that, right with your great grandson,
• 23:35
  Speaker 6: because then he'll grow up, he'll go through life. But
• 23:38
  Speaker 6: you talk about in your book, like even like ancestral
• 23:40
  Speaker 6: trauma being a part of things that you got to
• 23:42
  Speaker 6: like cleanse from. When you're young, you don't even know
• 23:45
  Speaker 6: what you're feeling. Even sometimes when you're grown, if you
• 23:48
  Speaker 6: don't have certain experiences or pay attention. So how do
• 23:51
  Speaker 6: you keep cleansing your spirit or yourself, because at each
• 23:56
  Speaker 6: level of life things hit you different.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: Well, he is a motionly literate he will be an
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: emotionally literate black man. Because I recognized I was raising
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: somebody's father and somebody's husband. I wanted him to be
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: emotionally literate. I wasn't raised that way. So he knows
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: the distinction between frustration and anxiety. He knows when he's sad,
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: he knows when he's happy, he knows when he's frustrated.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: Why because I taught him how to do that. Most
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: of us are, many adults are emotionally illiterate. We know happy, sad, good, bad, right, wrong.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: We don't know frustration, disappointment, exhilaration, bliss. Some of us
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: don't even know peace or joy. So it's up to
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: you do your work. That's your spiritual hygiene. In those
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: seven minutes, three times a day, for twenty one consecutive days,
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: call forth joy. What does joy feel like in my body?
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: What does peace feel like in my body? What does
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: we're in my body? Is disappointment? The body is a
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: living organism. Talk to it. It will respond. Yeah.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you know in this generation. Sometimes
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: I feel like which one?
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: Because I spend many.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: This generation. I would say from I would say maybe
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: from ten to twenty five. Let's talk there, Okay. I
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: feel like sometimes talking hard to them. It's they don't
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: understand it, nor do they get it right. It feels
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: they feel a lot differently. When I see some of
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: your past shows and your new shows. You talk hard
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: to people, you talk real to people. Do you feel
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: like the new generation is too emotional or too soft
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: when it comes to seeing things at face value?
• 25:44
  Speaker 6: Think you can add us in there too. The people
• 25:46
  Speaker 6: in their thirties too. I think you can add us
• 25:48
  Speaker 6: in that.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: Well, you know what, because nobody told them the truth.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: They talked at them, not with them. Talk with somebody.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: The greatest skiff we have is a conversation. Most people
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: don't know how to have one. But when you're going
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: into somebody telling them what they did wrong, what's wrong
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: with them, asking them why they do that? Come here, baby,
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: come in, sit right here, put that down, stop it,
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: you know, be present. One of the reasons in young
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: people today, and I would say ten and up are
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: so emotionally disconnected is because nobody's present with them. They
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: sit in the back of the car, on the device,
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: looking at the back of someone's head who's on the device.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: Many of them don't eat at a table. They don't
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: know how to set a table. They eat out of
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: a styrofoam box, on their lap or in a car.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: So some of the things that kept us grounded and
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: human and connected, we've given them out. You know, a
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: lot of them can't cook. I've met a twenty three
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: year old who he can't cook. I said, well, how
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: do you eat? Uber eats? What is not a recipe?
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: Right, But it's like that.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: Not on my watch, you be human resources. Not on
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: my watch, you teach it, you be at the principal's office.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: But those are the things that my teacher said.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't do that to a ten year old. I
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: wouldn't do that to the I did that to those
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: disrespectful women because I those were my lady balls. Let
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: me set this standard right here. Not on my watch.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: People will say that. They don't say the next part,
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: will you disrespect another woman? They don't say that part.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: They just get on the Not on my way, am
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: I putting all these little greasy fingers.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: Okay, don't worry about don't even worry about. Don't worry
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: about I don't even worry about it.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: They're not smiling, but we I wouldn't talk to them
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: like that. You know, those women were conscious and intentional
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: in their maliciousness, and I was not going to accommodate it.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: Sometimes you have to tell the truth in this way,
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: and sometimes it has to be cold water in your face.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it just has.
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: To be who holds you accountable, when when your hygiene
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: is off, when when your spiritual hygiene is I'll.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: Have a whole team of people. They oh, hell yeah,
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: this is how they say it. Mama, I don't mean
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: no harm or what I've taught them to do is
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: to ask me for a hall pass. Because I'm the
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: elder in the circle. You know, I have a whole school.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: I have a whole school. I have students, I have graduates,
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: I have ministers, coaches, and so I say, listen, don't
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: let me die. If you see me running out in
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: traffic with you know, toilet paper on my shoe, don't
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: let me die. Tell me the truth. So they'll ask
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: me for a hall pass. You know, when a hall pass,
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: you could go anywhere. I did, Mama need a hall
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: pass Okay, let me get the brown liquor, get it,
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: and then they'll tell me the truth. And because they
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: love me, I can hear it. And it's nothing worse
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: than to treat somebody how to be and then they
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: correct you when you ain't being that way. I love it.
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: How do we tell the difference between protecting our peace
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: and avoiding accountability?
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: Ah? Good question, Yeah, integrity to tell the truth about it.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: Tell the truth because you know when you're avoiding, or
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: you know when you're afraid, or you know when you're
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: denying or projecting. You know, you know, I don't have
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: to ask you, you know, tell the truth about it.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: And protecting your peace or creating a boundary looks and
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: feels very different than erecting a wall. And sometimes people
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: erect walls and call it a boundary. No. No, A
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: boundary is built to keep you safe as you let
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: other people in. If your wall is up, you're holding
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: people out. You can create a boundary. This is what
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: I need you to do because I want to be
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: peaceful in our connection. That's a boundary. Well, this is
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: what I'm gonna ask you not to do so we
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: can be peaceful in our connection. That's a boundary. No,
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: you can't come up in here with that. That's a wall.
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: That's a wall.
• 30:39
  Speaker 6: I saw you just sit down with Oprah and you
• 30:41
  Speaker 6: talked about your decision not to go to your daughter's funeral. Yeah,
• 30:44
  Speaker 6: and you kind of put up your boundaries just because
• 30:46
  Speaker 6: of some of the things that was happening within your family, well.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: Not to family with one particular grandson, her youngest son,
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: who was just out of his mind. And I know
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: it was grief, but I wasn't gonna put myself jeopardy.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: I wasn't going to give him the opportunity to disrespect
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: his mother by disrespecting her mother. And I didn't know
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: what he might do, but I was a trigger for him.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: I knew I was a trigger for him, and I
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: had to tell the truth about that.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: How difficult was that for you?
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: Well, once I made the decision, because I made it
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: from a place of love and care, I was okay
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: with it. So I didn't have to go to the funeral.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: I went the day before and I had my own
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: thing with her. She was still gonna be dead the
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: next day. I didn't have to be there. You understand
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: the things that we do out of tradition out of
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: habit that we don't even want to do. I'm not
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: doing that. I'm too old and I don't have wrinkles yet,
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: so I don't want wrinkles.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: I don't, do you know what I mean?
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: For the same reason that you just said, right like,
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: I want to remember the person the last time I
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: saw him. I don't want to remember him in the casket.
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: Do you feel like funerals are necessary for the grieving process.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: If we, as people of color, we're doing our traditional
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: burial rights. Oh yes, I think it's very necessary to
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: lay that spirit to rest, to make sure that we're
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: lifting that spirit and light. That's a very different thing.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: Burial rights are very different than a funeral. Can I
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: tell you something. This is gonna sound totally disgusting, but
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna say it. Okay, I bought my casket. My
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: casket is bought. It's on not on layaway, lay away.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: I'm playing it off, but it's bought. Let me tell
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: you why I bought.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: My two me and my wife we bought.
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: I was you bought it?
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: And was it like twenty seven hundred dollars twenty eight
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: hundred dollars.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: More than that?
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I did.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: But the reason I did because I didn't want that.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: I didn't.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: That's one thing I didn't want my kids to have
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: to worry think about.
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: I didn't either. And also when I I had to
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: bury my daughter and they charged me ten thousand dollars
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: for a casket, and I discovered that from the manufacture
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: it was twenty three hundred. I said, let me go
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: down here and get me a casket. So I went
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: down and bought my casket and paid for it exactly
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: what I want. And when I'm not here anymore, all
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: they have to do is call, they'll deliver it in
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: twenty four hours.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got it in will to get cremated.
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: You cremated and throw my ashes somewhere because you gotta
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: think about it in one hundred years be arounded.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: That is you. Yeah, I can understand that. I don't
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: particularly want to be cremated.
• 33:33
  Speaker 6: How did your family feel about that? Like your wife
• 33:35
  Speaker 6: and your kids.
• 33:39
  Speaker 7: My thing is like, if you buy a casket too early, right,
• 33:43
  Speaker 7: and then you know what, if you're skinny when you buy,
• 33:45
  Speaker 7: then you die big.
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: It's like, damn, you still have to pay for them?
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: Then no, you they'll just take a little of the
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: padding out. But I want to go back to you
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: with this funeral, because the funeral is it really should
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: be a celebration of the life, and it's turned into
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: this whole money making thing and it's the hole in
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: the ground. It's fifteen hundred dollars or more. Now. So
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: what I say is, if we're going to celebrate the
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: person's life, and if we're going to do the rights.
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: For example, in my lineage and my tradition as a Uropa,
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: we once the person makes transition, we do a nine
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: day prayer process, a forty day prayer process, and in
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: a one year prayer process to make sure that spirit
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: is lifted and elevated. As a as a two slaky
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: Cherokee or I walk in the nation of the Lakota people,
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: they plan their funeral and they are cremated, many of them.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: They don't go into ground. They go back to the
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: earth and they're singing and dance. There's a whole celebration
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: that doesn't have And we do have food because I
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: will say that funeral chicken is some of the best chicken.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: And so if we're going to do that, then let's
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: do that. But just to sit around and weep, and
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: you know, make ourselves crazy, and so many people get
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: stuck in the morning bad spiritual hygiene. Grieving is natural,
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: and I talk about grieving as a teacher and an
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: initiation in the book Morning is Bad Spiritual Hygiene, Morning
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: says that there's regret, there's remorse. That morning is the
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: process of because this happened, or I lost this, or
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: this person isn't here, this part of me can no
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: longer go on. Like when I lost my first daughter,
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: I lost my mind. But with my second daughter, I
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: didn't have the same feeling heaviness, and I didn't have
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: that because I knew it was coming and I was
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: prepared for it. And I can remember the days when
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: I felt bad about feeling good. People think, because someone dies,
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: you gotta feel bad, And I would catch myself feeling
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: bad about feeling good. Bad spiritual hygiene. That's mourning. Feeling
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: bad and believing that your life can't go on, or
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: you have resent or you resentment or remorse, or because
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: this happened, you can't do that, or you should have
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: done this. That's mourning.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Think that part of the grief process, though.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: It is a part of the process, but it happens
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: organically and it passes. You know, it takes different amount
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: of time for everybody. But when I'll never love again,
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: my life is over. I'm going out need some worms.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: That's mourning. That's a different thing.
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: You talk about unresolved grief living in the body the
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: same way bacteria lives in the mouth.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: What's the daily practice to clean it up?
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: Acknowledgy, acknowledging. You know, when you feel it, ask and again.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: Building that relationship with the body. Part of spiritual hygiene
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: is somatic. You know, like we have a body, there's
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: a distinction between the physical body and the somatic body.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: The somatic body is the energy and the feeling in
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: the body. So we'll walk around and we know we
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: have a physical body. Oh this pain, that leg, that,
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: But what is the feeling in there? Okay, your knee
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: is hurting? Okay, what's happened to me? What are you
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: doing here? So part of grief has to be somatic,
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: and people will grieve and get in the bed and
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: stay there. You can be in the bed, but then
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: get up and stretch, get up and move. Where is
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: the grief in your body? You know, the grief for
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: my babies, my daughters. It's in my heart and where
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: it used to be in the center, now it's just
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: around the edges, and sometimes it comes up. My oldest
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: daughter died on Christmas Day, so I've turned Christmas into
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: a whole thing. It was her favorite holiday. So Christmas
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: for me is not a day of morning. It's all
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: we haven't for I will have a tree if I
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: got to go out and cut it down myself, you know,
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: because that grief is there, but it's there in celebration,
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: not in mourning and remorse. So get in the body
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: where's everybody has grief about loss of something, something didn't
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: go right? But do you are you in relationship with it?
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: Where is it? So it'll show up and now you'll
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: be cussing out the uber driver. No, that maybe grief
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: that was unexpressed and it's in the body. Get in
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: there and find out where it is.
• 38:51
  Speaker 7: Have you ever had a case right where you say
• 38:55
  Speaker 7: these people won't needy more than me. I don't think
• 38:58
  Speaker 7: I can't you know what I'm saying, Like, like after
• 39:01
  Speaker 7: you've helped them and they went on, did you ever say,
• 39:04
  Speaker 7: like I need to check on these.
• 39:06
  Speaker 5: People or maybe they need something far beyond what I
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: can do.
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: My own self.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: No, I'm sorry.
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: See it's hard to answer that question because I don't
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: have cases. I have assignments. Gotcha, have you?
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: Assignment never been too great? You ever said you know
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: what you need to.
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: Jesus, it has felt that way. And then when I
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: get still and go within and to get the same
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: guidance that sent the people to me is the guidance
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: I get to find out what to do, it always
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: works out because I'm not attached to the outcome. I'm
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: really not. I'm really not attached to the outcome. I'm
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: sending to do what I do, and I do what
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: I do. What you do when it is your business.
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: You know, you've seen the show. There were some people
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: who fought me all the way. The poor little child
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: that ran out and left, and didn't you know she
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: wanted to beat me up. She told me she was
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: gonna cut me, and I was like, my son was
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: there and he would have cut her, and that would
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: have just went the whole thing.
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: So I figured.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: To just let her go. I've had guests walk out
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: OUTTHEA from Love and Hip Hop and she left. I
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: had another couple, Uh, they said they didn't trust me,
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: I left. You don't trust me. I'm out. There's nothing
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: we're gonna do here. I'm not attached to the outcome.
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: I'm attached to the process.
• 40:39
  Speaker 5: I think.
• 40:40
  Speaker 7: I think your work has gotten us attached to the
• 40:43
  Speaker 7: outcome so far, too many times I've seen. And that's
• 40:47
  Speaker 7: also why I loved watching a show as well, because
• 40:50
  Speaker 7: I really love you a person. Oh, let me shopping shopping,
• 40:58
  Speaker 7: it's this lovely bout your not cover my lady balls.
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: It did developments. I got all the number of times
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: I went upstairs and forgot what I was doing, and I, yeah,
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: that's a dh.
• 41:18
  Speaker 6: I'm sorry, color got you left right up there.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: That's all right.
• 41:22
  Speaker 7: But the reason why I asked her is because Kevin
• 41:24
  Speaker 7: McCall I was watching that. That's something that I remembered.
• 41:27
  Speaker 7: And I had no idea that he had had.
• 41:30
  Speaker 5: All we saw.
• 41:30
  Speaker 7: All we see is Kevin's antics then and now right.
• 41:34
  Speaker 7: But I had no idea that it was attached to
• 41:36
  Speaker 7: his upbringing. You know, you had it, you were You
• 41:39
  Speaker 7: got him to reveal some things about his upbringing, that
• 41:41
  Speaker 7: his mom she wasn't the best mom, and how she
• 41:44
  Speaker 7: was there not trying to take accountability either, and that's why.
• 41:48
  Speaker 7: And when he'll go do her for a while, then
• 41:50
  Speaker 7: it will come back and it's more antics. And that
• 41:53
  Speaker 7: made me think of I'm like, damn, well, I need
• 41:55
  Speaker 7: to call y'all to see and talk to him again,
• 41:58
  Speaker 7: you know what I mean, Like, that's why I asked you.
• 42:00
  Speaker 7: You ever after helping somebody say, look, they need something
• 42:04
  Speaker 7: far more than me or do are you attached to
• 42:06
  Speaker 7: the alchemist?
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: I'm not. And he got what he came to get.
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: It's up to him to use it. That's his spiritual hygiene.
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: Like you go to the dentist, they fill your cavity.
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: But if you now then go eat fifty five pounds
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: of gummy bears, or when you have a temporary filling
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: and you're trying to you know, eat popcorn, that's a problem.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: So in the same way with God source creator, he
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: can only do so much. It can only do so much,
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: and then the rest of it is on us. That's
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: why it's the inside fix. We could only do so much.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: Kevin got and every single one of my guests that
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: was on that show, you know, I'm so grateful to
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: them because the show really wasn't for them. The show
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: was for the viewers, and I told them that I
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: would tell them that I want to be real clear,
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: this ain't even about you. You were chosen, left guided
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: to be a demonstration, and how you show up it's
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: not only going to help you, it's going to help
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: the fews. We told you that.
• 43:08
  Speaker 6: I remember you did the you had the really big
• 43:11
  Speaker 6: daddy list daughter segments that you would do and you
• 43:14
  Speaker 6: would talk about the uns like the things that they
• 43:16
  Speaker 6: need to like or the words they need to know,
• 43:17
  Speaker 6: like Daddy's gone, and just the reality of like moving
• 43:20
  Speaker 6: forward from and I remember that my trigger. But I
• 43:24
  Speaker 6: used to watch the show because me and my dad
• 43:25
  Speaker 6: at that time, it was like early on in us
• 43:27
  Speaker 6: trying to figure out, Okay, he's new back into my life,
• 43:30
  Speaker 6: how do I feel? Do I have questions? And I
• 43:32
  Speaker 6: got to a point where I was like, all right,
• 43:35
  Speaker 6: you weren't here. Here's where my life is. Like I
• 43:37
  Speaker 6: don't want to be a victim or like a product
• 43:39
  Speaker 6: of that.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: I just want to make sure she understands.
• 43:43
  Speaker 6: But you're a serious Your series helped me though, because
• 43:46
  Speaker 6: my mom was one of those people that was like
• 43:48
  Speaker 6: very like she just acts like it didn't happen. You
• 43:52
  Speaker 6: were you acknowledged that it happened, but you didn't let
• 43:54
  Speaker 6: people live in it. So it helped me to realize, like, Okay,
• 43:57
  Speaker 6: what are we going to do here, Like what are
• 43:59
  Speaker 6: we going to do with the relationship or what are
• 44:01
  Speaker 6: we gonna do with yourself? And how you feel about that?
• 44:03
  Speaker 6: And if it's not accepted from him or responded to
• 44:07
  Speaker 6: him the way you want, you just you can only
• 44:09
  Speaker 6: control yourself, yeah.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: Because you get to choose and he gets to choose.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: And sometimes the shame of it, the guilt of it,
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: A lot of dads, moms, people can't show up. Husbands
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: who cheat come back and they can never get it together,
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: or wives because did you know wives were cheating?
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, black men don't cheat, but boy, what women's.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: Exactly? Yeah. But you know, my my hope, my prayer,
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: and I appreciate so many people are so excited about
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: the show, about the book, and may my legacy be
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: if nothing else, that I gave people skills and tools
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: to take responsibility for themselves because the world we're in
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: right now, the mess that we're in, is because we
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: were anticipating somebody else doing for us what we needed
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: to do for ourselves, and so we got to do
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: the work. You have to do your work.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Accountability is a hard concept for a lot of people
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: to grasp.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: Awareness, accountability, and integrity. Integrity where your mind, your heart,
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: and what you do are all aligned. Very often people
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: think one thing, feels something and do something else. Get
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: an integrity, line it up and be willing to piss
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: people off to maintain your own integrity. Honor yourself. Don't
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: dim your light. Don't set yourself on fire to keep
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: other people warm. Don't dim your light like that. Take
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: responsibility and embrace everybody in the process.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: I got a couple more questions. You always say healing
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: isn't pretty.
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: Why do people romanticize spirituality but reject the mess that's
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: required to actually.
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: Evolve, intellectualizing the spirit like people think spiritual people shouldn't
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: get angry. I'm from Brooklyn. I don't get angry. I
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: get pissed the f off, and I'm coming for you. Okay,
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: I'm all right, you know what I'm talking about. I
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: grew up with the bodega on the corner. Okay, So
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: I just don't do that. I'm responsible for myself when
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: I do it, If I do it, and I don't
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: stay stuck there, and that's not going to become an
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: identity for me. Let me see you abuse a child,
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: I'm coming for you, all guns drawn, cussing like a
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: sailor and hit you in your head, punch you right
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: in your throat, disrespect the woman in my press. I'm
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: coming for you, you know. So, even though I'm a
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: deeply spiritual person, there's sometimes when you have to again
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: throw cold water in somebody's face. But people want to
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: intellectualize spirituality. Oh, you have to be kind and loving, yes,
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: you do all that, but sometimes you are human and
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: it's okay. In terms of it being healing. Not being
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: pretty is because most of us are not aware of
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: the depth of healing that is required. We're not aware.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: We think it's just if he would behave or if
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: they would come back, or if they would say I'm sorry,
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: that it would be okay. It's so much deeper than
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: so much deeper, and most people are afraid to go in.
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: And when I say most people, I'm not generalizing. I'm
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: speaking about it in terms of the years that I've
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: been doing this work and what I've seen, what I've
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: seen want to go with that, don't want to look
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: it with that don't want to do the spiritual hygiene.
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, is there a difference between being spiritually
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: spiritually clean and being spiritually sterile? And what I mean
• 48:12
  Speaker 4: by that, can we ever oversanitize ourselves out of just
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: human connection?
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: Not that I don't know. Spiritually clean, you you're still
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: among everybody. If you're not connected, then you're not spiritual
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: at all. Because the deepest part of spirituality is connected.
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: So I don't know about spiritually sterile. Let me write
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: that down, because you know, I forget.
• 48:40
  Speaker 4: Some people try to, like you said, they try to
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: set so many boundaries, and they intellectualized spirituality to think
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: that they got to be away from people and be
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: apart from people.
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: That to me, that's not but some of them do.
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: I mean, look at the monks. Some of them, that's
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: their mission, that's their ministry, that's what they do. They
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: go out there. I'm not on that committee. I'm not
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: on that committee. I'm I'm on the people committee. But
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: but spiritually sterile, I don't know. That's a good Thank
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: you for that. That'll be my next book.
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: I love spiritual hygiene. Mana.
• 49:12
  Speaker 4: There's a rapper named Dgola and he had a song,
• 49:15
  Speaker 4: and I call it a Negro spiritual call.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: Ain't gonna let up.
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: And in the song he said, nigga, get yourself together,
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: go get your brain a bath, go to church, start listening,
• 49:23
  Speaker 4: get on the right path.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: Spiritual hygiene.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: And you know, I'm really for me. The greatest thing
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: was to see how far I've come, because I wasn't
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: spiritually clean. I wasn't And to see how far I've
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: come and look at the experiences that I've had, the divorce,
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: the death of my partner, my my losing two daughters,
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: you know, all of it, all of it. And to
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: see how far I've come. You know, you can't all
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: off the floor. So I was on the floor. So
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: to see how far I've come from how far down
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: I was, it's humbling. It's really humbling because millions didn't
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: make it.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: I know that defin make you question your own mortality.
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: Well, I've decided I'm going to stay here till I'm
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: one hundred and two, and I'll still be walking in
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: my low heels. I got on low heels now because
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: I do believe we get to choose, I really do.
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: I said onundred and one, Yeah, I'm gonna do one
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: hundred and two and I'm gonna go to bed and
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: I'm just not gonna wake up. I just have to
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: remember to put on panties because I don't want I
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: don't want like my son to come in and see
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: my us because I think that would kill him if
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: he's my mama who has hanging out. So I just
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: have to remember, I'm just going to go to sleep.
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: I'm not doing the suffering and the sickness. Like you know,
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: when I stuck into my regular physical doctor. I have
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: other doctors that I go to because at my age,
• 51:18
  Speaker 3: they they want something to be wrong with me. I
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: don't take a pill for nothing. I don't have high
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: blood pressure. I don't have uh the concuss the bunkus,
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: who's naa? My blood pressure is normal, you know, I
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: don't have any of it.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: That's not real. I'm about to take my doctor like.
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: Anything, and so they don't believe me. So the only
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: thing they could think to tell me was where you
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: are obese? They told obese, you're twenty pounds over the
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: what the white I'm supposed to be. But you know,
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: my butt is the size of white. Boys want for
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: my whole body to be so I'm not worried about that, okay,
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: But so I'm just not going to do all of
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: that sickness stuff and I'm not going to live up
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: to the standards that they set for me. Like they
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: wanted to do these weird things to me.
• 52:22
  Speaker 5: And I said, well, why are.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: We doing that? They said, because people your aging I
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: don't have. They don't have nothing to do with me.
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: I anything do with me. I'm not doing that. You
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: are not sticking that up there now, not doing no.
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: I've done though, Okay, yeah, because my daughter died of
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: colon cancer. So I take but other things, other things,
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: I'm not doing it.
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: And this queen is seventy two by the way, for
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: anybody wondering.
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: But I have a relationship with my body. And you know,
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: God is so merciful because I'm a virgo. I'm a
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: hypochondriac me too, you two both. Every little thing you know,
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: a headache is a brain too. Oh.
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: I can see somebody else somebody die from right now.
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: So we go back and be like, hey, I gotta
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: go to doctor. I called him this week.
• 53:13
  Speaker 4: I said, hey, I just got scared from head to toe.
• 53:15
  Speaker 4: I said, the doctor doing brain and that I said
• 53:17
  Speaker 4: my appointment.
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: Right, So you understand what I'm saying. So God didn't
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: give me any of that. Because I wanted to survive.
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: I would live in the doctors. I'd have a box
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: in the corner by the stove in the doctor's office.
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: So I don't have that. But you know, people want
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: you to line up with what they think you should be,
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: what you even as a spiritual person. You know, for years,
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: and I say this, I've been doing this work since
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: nineteen eighty eight. Okay, for years, I was a demon.
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: I was all sorts of things. They would not let
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: me in a pulpit in the church. And then when
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: my books started selling and people would come and the
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: offering plate would be bigger than I became welcome. Why
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: because I didn't do it the way they did it.
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: But that's not how God told me to do. I
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: don't have to answer to you when I get wherever
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: I'm going. If I have to answer to anybody, it
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: won't be you. So I had to follow my purpose,
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: my mission.
• 54:18
  Speaker 5: My Lucke, have you been able to find that love
• 54:22
  Speaker 5: that works for you?
• 54:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 54:24
  Speaker 7: I remember in an earlier episode of I ele Fixed
• 54:26
  Speaker 7: My Life, he was saying, you stayed with a man
• 54:28
  Speaker 7: for fourteen years, but then you left him because you
• 54:31
  Speaker 7: didn't want to have to teach thirteen. I'm sorry to
• 54:33
  Speaker 7: teach somebody how to love you right well, you know,
• 54:38
  Speaker 7: because I.
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: Right after that I left that relationship. He passed, and
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: right after that I got my great grandson. So I've
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: been grandmothering him now and I want to be fully
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: present for him. Gotcha, this is a kid who doesn't
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: have his mom or his dad, his grandmother, my daughter
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: was raising him. She's gone. So now he's with me.
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: And so I made a conscious choice right now that
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: I don't want to say that's my man, because but
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: he has my heart because the three hearts that were
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: closest to him he lost. I don't want him to
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: have to compete for my heart. So right now he's
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: my focus. He's eight now, so I you know, hopefully
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: everything will still be working in order and man by
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: the time he's ten. And then, you know, because even
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: to date, I don't want to bring because people coming
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: in the hot out of his life has a totally
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: different meaning. His mom's gone, his dad's gone, his grandma's gone.
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: So I'm dating somebody for three months and then they're gone.
• 55:48
  Speaker 3: What does that do to him? So I'm consciously parenting
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: in a way that I didn't do it. Like it
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: So I'm I'm but girl, I got there's some eye
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: candy out.
• 56:02
  Speaker 6: A lot of people be exhausted by outside the streets,
• 56:04
  Speaker 6: be exhausting some people. Huh, A lot of people be
• 56:06
  Speaker 6: exhausted by the dating life. Right now, you're looking forward
• 56:08
  Speaker 6: to getting back.
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: But I want to create what I want and call him.
• 56:13
  Speaker 3: I know what he looks like.
• 56:14
  Speaker 6: I'm not.
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: I'm not doing this, uh, you know, on the line
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: speed dating kind of stuff. I'm gonna sit right in
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: my home and I'm gonna let my lady balls hang
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: out and I'm gonna meditate. Call him it and he
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: gonna show up.
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: What about the spiritually transmitted diseases? Though?
• 56:32
  Speaker 4: Spir trying to get some pepe and then he doesn't
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: put all his negative spiritual No no, no, no, no no.
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: No, he can't because my qualifications or what I desire
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: in a partner. Number one, I want to make sure
• 56:49
  Speaker 3: he has a good relationship with his mother and his children.
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: That's number one. Because if you can't be in relationship
• 56:56
  Speaker 3: with your mama, yama means great mother. I don't have
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: a hands in hell. You got to be a relationship
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: with your mom. You got to be a relationship with
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: your kids. And I don't care how old he is.
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: Although I'm going younger, I gotta go a little younger. Okay,
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: you want energy because and and also because my experiences
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: a lot of brothers in my age category. Yeah, I
• 57:26
  Speaker 3: can't do the blue field.
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: It's the older other. Right now, I'll put that bluetoo
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: on you right now.
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: No, you will not take your blue cho down in
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: the basement. You get out of here. I am not
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: on the blue choo committee.
• 57:49
  Speaker 6: Are you looking at like.
• 57:53
  Speaker 3: That's robbery? Okay? My son is fifty five. I just
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: was asking I think for seventy I can do sixty eight.
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: You know what what I said? Could he have babysat
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: my son? See if he's sixty eight, he would have
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: been thirteen. He could have watched my ten year old. Gotcha,
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: that's how I'm doing.
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: That?
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: Is that good? That's a good man, man?
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: What a young boys gonna put it on?
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: You? Listen? I had one roll up on me in
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: the gas station, and I was so out of it
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: I didn't and when I recogniz I said, are you
• 58:31
  Speaker 3: Are you hitting on me? He said, yes, ma'am. I am.
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: I said how old are you? He said thirty seven?
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: I said, boy, police, I got bras older than you.
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: He said, I would like to see it. I couldn't
• 58:47
  Speaker 3: stop laughing. Oh yes, he said, I would love to
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: see it. Yeah. Boy, you wouldn't even recognize he wouldn't
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: even know what it was. But yeah, you.
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: We appreciate. Thank you man. I'm glad that God created you.
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: Thank you, and I'm glad you're here. And I'm really
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: really happy about you going to Netflix.
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: January twenty this year.
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: Yes, well I should have waited.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: Juary.
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: You're going to Netflix January twenty six. I'm going to
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: the MGM Theater in in my first public appearance in
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: since twenty nineteen. That I'm at the MGM Theater at
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: in d C. January twenty fifth, nineteen.
• 59:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah, wow, that's amazing.
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: Can they get tickets? Go to the MGM Theater thing there.
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: I'm so excited, Thank you, said he took a break degree. No,
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: I just you know, it's COVID, and then I I
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: wasn't on the show, and then I was grandmother ing,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: and then I just you know, I've done little things
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: here and there, but me on the stage doing Oh
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: I haven't done that since twenty night time.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: Get your tickets. Also, the inside fixed from me is
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: on the seventeenth of this month.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 3: And thank you for joining us, Thank you for having me.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: I really got fun and I can I say this.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: First of all, you are absolutely gorgeous.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 5: Thank you know that, right, Yes, ma'am.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: Don't let Charlamade tell you anything.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, he tells the Lauren too well, she knows she's
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: the baby girl.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: She's just a cutey little funking. That was the part
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: of Don't Bother.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 6: We were calm, I mean, and it's the MGM National
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 6: Harbor website.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: Your ticket you can go. And let me say this,
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: I am so proud of you. Thank you really as
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: an og, I am so proud of you and the
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: way that you present. I mean, sometimes you all do
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: a little controversial, but that's okay. I'm I'm o G.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: But I can do this, My little ones, keep me
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: up today. Continue to represent yourselves and us in this
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 3: really powerful, productive way. I was so excited when I
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: heard about Netflix. Good, so just continue to do it, okay,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: every day
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: Breakfast Glove