Latest / Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship / Done Hurting? Rebuilding Your Identity in Christ After Heartbreak
Transcript
- 0:00There's a strange moment that happens after healing, when the pain finally quiets
- 0:04down, but you don't quite recognize yourself anymore.
- 0:08And no one really prepares you for that part. No one tells you what to do when
- 0:12you're no longer the broken girl, but you're not fully living like the healed woman yet either.
- 0:18If you've ever asked yourself, who am I now that I'm done hurting?
- 0:23This conversation is for you. If you're done chasing broken love,
- 0:28empty promises, and lukewarm men, and you're finally ready to reclaim your crown,
- 0:33heal your heart, and attract the God-led love you were always meant for,
- 0:37you're in the right place.
- 0:38Hi, I'm Emily Jordan, your faith-based healed feminine guide and relationship coach.
- 0:44I went from repeating the same heartbreaking cycles to experiencing a godly,
- 0:49healthy, aligned love. And now I help women just like you heal,
- 0:54rise, and prepare for God's very best.
- 0:57So are you ready to begin your royal training?
- 1:00Grab your crown, your heart, and your journal. Your royal transformation begins now.
- 1:08We're going to read a review today from The Real Geeksta. It says,
- 1:13smart advice amongst the noise.
- 1:15Where has this podcast been all of my life? I am so thankful to have Emily's smart, gentle advice.
- 1:22Each episode is like a quick cup of coffee as she talks me off the ledge of
- 1:27my next dating mindset disaster.
- 1:29Best friend, big sis, elder cousin, I don't know which role she will fill for
- 1:35you, but I do know that if you take the time to filter out the noise surrounding
- 1:40dating and lend her your ear,
- 1:42you will walk away with more wisdom and discernment.
- 1:45Oh my gosh, I love this review so much.
- 1:49She talks me off the ledge of my next dating mindset disaster.
- 1:54Gosh, sis, thank you for this review.
- 1:59All right, guys, let's get into the episode today. Hazes, welcome back to the
- 2:05show today. I am so excited. It is Christmas Eve.
- 2:11Happy birthday, Jesus, our Savior, the one that came to set us free.
- 2:18What an amazing gift. What an amazing time as we continue to journey on in our
- 2:26healing journey and being set free like Jesus came guys like he came to set us free.
- 2:34He saved us from death and he set us free and that's what we're going to continue
- 2:38to do is be set free every single day so we can live our best lives and receive
- 2:45the love that God really has for all of us.
- 2:49Today, if you're listening right now, I want you to take a deep breath with me.
- 2:54Because the season you're in, the one where you're no longer drowning in heartbreak,
- 2:59but you're also not fully confident yet, is holy ground.
- 3:04Scripture tells us that God makes all things new. Come on, sis.
- 3:09But what it doesn't always explain is how disorienting new can actually feel.
- 3:16When you've lived as the wounded woman for so long, healing doesn't just change
- 3:21your emotions, it changes your identity.
- 3:25And today we're going to talk about what it looks like to stop living from who
- 3:30pain made you and start living from who God says you are, right?
- 3:37Setting you free, sis.
- 3:40I remember the moment I realized I wasn't hurting the same way anymore.
- 3:44I wasn't crying on the floor.
- 3:47I wasn't begging God to fix him or save the relationship. I wasn't spiraling the way I used to.
- 3:53And I thought that moment would feel freeing. But instead, it felt a little confusing.
- 3:59Because for so long, my identity had been shaped by survival,
- 4:04by fixing, by hoping, by enduring.
- 4:08Pain had given me a new role. And when the pain lifted, I realized I didn't
- 4:14actually know who I was without it.
- 4:16I had learned how to be strong in heartbreak, but I hadn't learned how to be
- 4:22confident in wholeness.
- 4:24And that's when God began teaching me something that changed everything.
- 4:29Healing doesn't just remove pain. It demands a whole new identity.
- 4:35So today I'm going to give you three points for your royal training.
- 4:39Point number one, pain will always give you an identity if you don't let God rewrite it.
- 4:48Here's something I had to learn the hard way. When you're hurting,
- 4:51you don't just experience pain.
- 4:53You adapt to it. You become the woman who overthinks, the woman who embraces
- 4:58for disappointment, the woman who expects less so it won't hurt as much.
- 5:03And without realizing, pain stops being something you went through and starts
- 5:08becoming something you live from.
- 5:11That's why healing can feel uncomfortable, because God isn't just taking away what hurts you.
- 5:17He's asking you to let go of who you became because of it.
- 5:22Scripture tells us in Romans 12 to be transformed by the renewing of your mind,
- 5:27not just comforted, not just soothed, but renewed, because healed thinking requires a healed identity.
- 5:37Point number two You can be done hurting and still be living like you're wounded
- 5:43This is the part no one talks about You can stop crying,
- 5:47stop chasing, stop bleeding emotionally And still make decisions from the memory
- 5:52of pain Instead of the truth of healing.
- 5:55You might be done hurting, but still guarded, still shrinking,
- 5:59still questioning your worth. And that doesn't mean you failed.
- 6:03It means you're standing at a doorway between survival and sovereignty.
- 6:08Isaiah 61 says, God gives us a crown of beauty instead of ashes.
- 6:13But notice, ashes have to be laid down before the crown can be worn.
- 6:19You can't carry both. Point number three.
- 6:23A crowned woman moves differently than a wounded woman.
- 6:27When God began restoring my identity, he didn't just change how I felt. He changed how I moved.
- 6:34A wounded woman asks, will he choose me?
- 6:38A crowned woman asks, does this align with who God says I am.
- 6:43A wounded woman tolerates confusion. A crowned woman requires clarity.
- 6:50A wounded woman tries to earn love. A crowned woman receives it or walks away.
- 6:571 Peter 2.9 tells us we are chosen, royal, and called out of darkness. Not someday, now.
- 7:04Not someday, sis. Right now. Healing isn't about becoming better for a relationship.
- 7:10It's about returning to the authority you were always meant to live from.
- 7:15Now, for your royal reflection, I want you to pause here for just a moment.
- 7:21Ask yourself gently, who have I been because I was hurting?
- 7:27And am I willing to let God introduce me to who I am becoming?
- 7:32You don't have to answer this perfectly, just honestly.
- 7:37Now, your call to action. This week, I want you to do one simple thing.
- 7:42Write down three beliefs about yourself that were formed in pain,
- 7:46and then ask God to show you the truth He wants to replace them with.
- 7:52This isn't about striving.
- 7:54It's about surrendering your story back to the author.
- 7:58If you hear nothing else today, hear this. You are not behind.
- 8:03You are not lost. You are not broken beyond repair.
- 8:06You are in the process of being reintroduced to yourself.
- 8:10And the woman God is shaping now doesn't survive love. She leads with truth,
- 8:15discernment, and dignity.
- 8:17Your crown was never taken. You're just learning how to wear it again.
- 8:21Thank you so much for spending this time with me today.
- 8:24And remember, this is your royal training and your story isn't ending.
- 8:28It's just being rewritten.
- 8:30Merry Christmas, friends. Sis, you did that. You showed up for your healing
- 8:35and that is royal energy.
- 8:37If this episode challenged you, grew you, or called you higher,
- 8:41share it with another sister who's ready to reclaim her crown too.
- 8:44And if you've got 30 seconds, it would bless me big if you'd leave a review
- 8:48on Apple Podcast. It helps more women step into their royal identity and join
- 8:53the Good Guys Society movement.
- 8:55Until next time, keep your crown on, your standard tie, and your heart in royal alignment.