Latest / Be It Till You See It / 563. How to Flip the Script on Victim Shaming

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563. How to Flip the Script on Victim Shaming · Be It Till You See It

0:00
[SPEAKER_00]: women aren't being believed as much or the blame is on them for paying themselves in the situations.
0:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think like if we can all think about it differently, we can actually start to spot things and support people instead of going, well, how did that happen to them?
0:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the be it till you see it podcast where we talk about taking messy action knowing that perfect is boring.
0:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm also Logan, prize instructor and fitness business coach.
0:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt.
0:34
[SPEAKER_00]: My friends, action brings clarity.
0:38
[SPEAKER_00]: and it's the antidote to fear.
0:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Each week my guess will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it.
0:50
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a practice, not a perfect, let's get started.
0:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to the beat till you see it in every recap where my coast and life Brad and I are going to dig into the groundbreaking combo I had with Joy Hoover in our last episode.
1:05
[SPEAKER_00]: If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go listen to that one or listen to this one and then listen to that one.
1:12
[SPEAKER_00]: You can do it ever order you want but it's one you have to listen to.
1:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Whatever you want.
1:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean I say it on all the episodes you gotta go listen to it because you know we can only cover so much of what the guest said.
1:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure.
1:22
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's also like quite a unique amazing thing.
1:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So today is August, fourteen, twenty, twenty, five minutes.
1:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Got two things for you.
1:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure Brad want me to choose.
1:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to do it.
1:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, national.
1:32
[SPEAKER_00]: It's national finance, a financial awareness day.
1:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So how much would you like to bet that most people don't know.
1:39
[SPEAKER_00]: August, fourteen.
1:41
[SPEAKER_00]: No financial awareness today.
1:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's about betting they were being cute.
1:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's cute.
1:45
[SPEAKER_00]: They still manage to say the date and the date and the date.
1:49
[SPEAKER_02]: They answer the question.
1:50
[SPEAKER_02]: They re-ass the question when they answer the question.
1:53
[SPEAKER_00]: It's more important than you think and plus what's more fun than financial independence.
1:57
[SPEAKER_02]: What is more fun?
1:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, happy.
2:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, we know what.
2:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Financial independence is literally the thing that if you have, you can do anything you want.
2:07
[SPEAKER_00]: You can leave any job, shitty relationship, shitty situation, financial independence is like the thing.
2:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
2:14
[SPEAKER_00]: It's more, I think it's more important than just like the ability to walk.
2:17
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to have financial independence.
2:18
[SPEAKER_02]: It's funny because it sounds silly.
2:21
[SPEAKER_02]: But at the same time, it's not something that anyone never talks about.
2:25
[SPEAKER_02]: No one, like, you're not taught this stuff at school, right?
2:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
2:32
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I think I always taught the balance of checkbook as if that did anything for me.
2:35
[SPEAKER_00]: But I, like, I think about Tia Levines episode.
2:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
2:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think about.
2:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
2:40
[SPEAKER_02]: If y'all don't remember, she was stuck in an abusive relationship where she had no control over the finances and she couldn't leave even though it was abusive because if she did, she wouldn't have it.
2:52
[SPEAKER_02]: She would lose her kids because she didn't have any money to support her kids.
2:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
2:55
[SPEAKER_00]: This is where, like, all people are like, oh, why don't they just leave?
2:58
[SPEAKER_00]: It goes back to, like, the diddy stuff.
2:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, they could have just left.
3:01
[SPEAKER_00]: No, when they're controlling your career, when they're controlling how, where you live and they're paying your rent and all these things, even if you think, oh, well, they did this.
3:09
[SPEAKER_00]: There's, there's control.
3:10
[SPEAKER_00]: There's not financial independence.
3:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And if we have to teach that even if the person's not abusive, because there's plenty of people who are partners or parents who are not a boss is who are not abusive.
3:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
3:21
[SPEAKER_00]: but everybody deserves to have financial independence and financial awareness information so that they can make sure they're making the right decisions for themselves and then they have options.
3:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You always have choices.
3:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, back to why they want to educate us.
3:34
[SPEAKER_00]: So first off, think about that great feeling you get when you don't have the looming spend specter of debt hanging over you.
3:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Also,
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sound financial decisions can really make a difference down the road.
3:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, retirement is a time to take all those vacations.
3:47
[SPEAKER_00]: You couldn't win working the daily grind.
3:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I have so many problems with this day already because you shouldn't wait for retirement to take those vacations.
3:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And don't let people tell you that is a big shoe rack.
4:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I was going to say the same thing.
4:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Like sure, that can be looming, especially if it's like credit card debt that's keeping you.
4:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, because they control you.
4:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's not just that.
4:09
[SPEAKER_02]: It's oppressive to moving forward because you're just paying the interest.
4:15
[SPEAKER_02]: But at the same time, I think my relationship with that changed when I became a business owner because it's part of business.
4:24
[SPEAKER_02]: You can also have debt and you can manage that debt without it.
4:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And also a good credit score is because you can show that you can manage that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what it is.
4:32
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not being debt-free.
4:33
[SPEAKER_00]: It's managing debt, which is, which, you know, okay.
4:36
[SPEAKER_00]: So there was good intentions with this day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, because money is important to our overall piece of mind, financial awareness day is a great ten review where you are now and where you're going financially.
4:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't let bad financial decisions ruin the best years of your life.
4:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so we're just gonna stop reading this, but I think the points are still good.
4:56
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I'll tell you what I didn't do.
4:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I never reviewed my financial position.
5:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't even know what that meant, right?
5:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I just knew that I needed to make enough money to get to the end of the month so that I could do it again.
5:08
[SPEAKER_02]: right, I never like step back and like was was trying to look at like, oh, I have a car, the value of the car, oh, I have a house, the value of the house or you know, whatever, like my, I've been putting money in my savings account.
5:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Do I have a plan?
5:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Never had a plan before, you know, the last couple of years.
5:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And now you can, it's easy to get sidetracked from your plan.
5:31
[SPEAKER_02]: It's very easy to get sidetracked with your plan.
5:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Unless you put things on an automated, like your money comes in and then automatically things happen at the end of the month, it's easy to forget to slide money over until your retirement fund or whatever it might be.
5:46
[SPEAKER_02]: So what you can do, which I think is really helpful, is to throw once a month
5:51
[SPEAKER_02]: review you know are just take a look at all the numbers take a look at it like open up the credit card statement online open up the bank account line take a look at that like login to your social security account how weird is that to even say does anybody do that I do that okay
6:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I do it.
6:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I just don't.
6:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
6:10
[SPEAKER_00]: At this moment in time or recording, I doubt we're going to see any of it.
6:13
[SPEAKER_00]: But you shouldn't.
6:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I agree with you.
6:15
[SPEAKER_00]: It's important to be aware where all your accounts are, what's in all of them.
6:19
[SPEAKER_00]: But you're bumping off-stridged.
6:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And also, please don't let the money stories of your parents or even your college years dictate what you think of yourself when it comes to money.
6:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that attitude is not going to help you beat till you see it with financial success.
6:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen to our episode with wealth with tests.
6:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
6:37
[SPEAKER_00]: That is the episode I want to listen to if this day resonates with you.
6:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
6:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Love your bookshop day.
6:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course, if I talk about this because that's a test is episode with three fifty two.
6:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
6:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Three fifty two.
6:48
[SPEAKER_00]: So love your bookshop day is celebrated every year also on August for a team.
6:53
[SPEAKER_00]: It is a holiday that was founded by the Australian booksellers Association.
6:58
[SPEAKER_00]: The aim is to appreciate bookshops around the country and highlight all the things that make local bookshops beneficial.
7:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, appreciation for books and encourages more people to read.
7:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Bookshop exists to serve the knowledge, the public, and that is a very important job.
7:11
[SPEAKER_00]: The more equipbook shops are, the better quality of knowledge people can access to in a time when books are being ordered online, the local brick and mortar bookshop needs all the supporting you get.
7:19
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys, they don't want to sponsor the show, but bookshop.org.
7:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's a call.
7:24
[SPEAKER_00]: If you order your books through them, they send the money to support a local bookshop near you.
7:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And that if you want to have that online ease, but also support a local bookshop.
7:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's also like, let's call a bookshop.
7:36
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's a bookstore.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, go read a book.
7:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Go read a book that's going to like inspire.
7:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I'll add a book.
7:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Go sit in a bookshop coffee shop.
7:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, the right way to the writers block, babe.
7:49
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
7:50
[SPEAKER_00]: You think it's?
7:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
7:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I have not.
7:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, they got a smoothie bar, coffee, a catwalk around.
7:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't take by own cats walk around the coffee shop.
7:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they have birds.
7:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's a bird sanctuary not cat sanctuary.
7:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, it is the coolest book shop.
8:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And now listen to me.
8:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to call it a book shop.
8:05
[SPEAKER_00]: My Australian accent.
8:06
[SPEAKER_00]: The coolest bookstore I've been to in a long time, but there's some other ones.
8:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And I actually want to start looking at some really cool bookstores when you start doing tours.
8:14
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a bird section.
8:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, bird sanctuary.
8:16
[SPEAKER_00]: You know how we like, we do vintage shops a lot.
8:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I want to switch that to like really cool bookstores because there's some really cool bookstores out there.
8:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, speaking of being on the road, we are on the road for a few more days.
8:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you can go to OPC, not me slash tour because I think you can get if there's anything left you can get to Idaho, Salt Lake or Las Vegas.
8:35
[SPEAKER_00]: OPC, I mean, slash tour, our winter tour will be announced in the fall.
8:38
[SPEAKER_00]: So stick around for that.
8:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
8:40
[SPEAKER_00]: We're at me home for a couple of weeks and then Babe are headed to where we
8:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
8:43
[SPEAKER_00]: In September, we're headed to the UK.
8:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
8:46
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to we're really fired up to be back to the UK.
8:48
[SPEAKER_02]: We're actually up to stops.
8:50
[SPEAKER_02]: We're doing this time.
8:50
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to be in leads and in Essex.
8:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So come join us if you were in London, we actually set it up where you could get a day pass with.
8:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's what we call our workshop.
8:59
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you are someone who just wants to do one workshop now.
9:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it might might be.
9:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Go check it out.
9:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Go to OPC.me slash UK.
9:05
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to be covering it's mostly Pilates stuff.
9:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And then there's a couple of workshops, the workshops are skewed toward business, but they're not really business.
9:12
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like managing your calendar, it's managing, you know, how do you, how do you make an ideal schedule for yourself?
9:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And then of course can be used for business, but it's also, you don't have to run a business to, you know, pull
9:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So better if it's from that.
9:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And then like, yeah, anyway, we can't wait to be back.
9:27
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be awesome in October.
9:29
[SPEAKER_02]: We're heading to Chicago.
9:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there's bounce bodies, POT Chicago.
9:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And at the time of this record is this dropping, you can still get the early bird, ten percent off if there's any spots left.
9:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I do know that.
9:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you have a link for that bounce body, applies dot com, just like a POT Chicago.
9:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, and it comes up like it kind of just comes up.
9:48
[SPEAKER_00]: But anyways, yeah, of course, a long link.
9:50
[SPEAKER_00]: However,
9:52
[SPEAKER_00]: when they emailed me last week, it was seventy five percent sold out.
9:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So just so you know, don't wait on that.
9:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Then we're going to go from Chicago to Cambodia.
10:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, directly.
10:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Literally don't even go home.
10:02
[SPEAKER_02]: We just go straight through San Francisco to Cambodia.
10:05
[SPEAKER_02]: That's going to be amazing.
10:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And basically, you know, we got, we took our room and there's still time.
10:10
[SPEAKER_02]: It's only August.
10:11
[SPEAKER_02]: We're not going till October, right?
10:13
[SPEAKER_00]: So people signed up for last one in December.
10:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Six weeks ahead of time.
10:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
10:17
[SPEAKER_02]: We had someone signed up six weeks ahead of time.
10:18
[SPEAKER_00]: We had someone signed up two weeks ahead of time.
10:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it was only two.
10:22
[SPEAKER_00]: The last October, my mom's.
10:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
10:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it was only two.
10:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
10:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
10:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
10:26
[SPEAKER_02]: So anyway, yeah.
10:27
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's possible.
10:28
[SPEAKER_02]: There's still plenty of room.
10:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Come join us.
10:30
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be amazing.
10:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And then like randomly on the way home, from Cambodia, we're going to be in Singapore.
10:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
10:36
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're going to see the Pettango garden so we're working on teaching a gig.
10:40
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, Singapore.
10:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Hi.
10:41
[SPEAKER_00]: We're coming.
10:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
10:42
[SPEAKER_02]: We're coming.
10:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And then of course, December is winter tour, but we should be announcing all of that in the fall.
10:48
[SPEAKER_00]: So come October.
10:49
[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to host with us, reach out.
10:51
[SPEAKER_00]: The team will help you fill out the forms.
10:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And if we're on the path this year, you gain if we're not.
10:56
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll save you for another time, but don't don't wait.
10:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't worry.
10:59
[SPEAKER_02]: That's going to be awesome.
11:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Before we get into this really interesting combo with Joy Hoover, also like scary, a little bit combo with Joy Hoover.
11:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I know from the statistics we're like mind blowing.
11:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, what the hell?
11:18
[SPEAKER_02]: But before we get there, we got a question from Karin, underscore C-A-L-E-L-E-K-A-Kory from IG.
11:24
[SPEAKER_02]: She asks, hey, how many days a week do you recommend weightlifting in addition to your Pilates practice?
11:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so here's okay.
11:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Great question.
11:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Great question.
11:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Personally, I live weights three to four days a week and I do Pilates four to five days a week.
11:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, is that a scientific thing that you should be doing?
11:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
11:45
[SPEAKER_00]: It really works from my schedule.
11:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I particularly like an extra day of Pilates compared to my weight training because I do feel like it keeps everything ready for the next one.
11:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Like weight training always makes my body feel a little bit
11:59
[SPEAKER_00]: heavy I mean of course I feel great in it and there's no knocks like I I believe everyone does need to live some weight but my body feels heavy until Pilates kind of like opens everything back up and ready for the next time and that's why I like it but I will say to ban your goals are you definitely from what I've heard and what I've read everyone should be lifting weights two three days a week and then I believe Pilates should be done three to four days a week
12:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And that doesn't mean hour-long sessions.
12:24
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't have to be.
12:26
[SPEAKER_00]: The amount of minutes is not as important as the consistency and the quality of the movement.
12:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So three quality reps over ten is always better.
12:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And it comes to Pilates.
12:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's just my opinion.
12:36
[SPEAKER_00]: But I particularly really like it.
12:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And I will actually, we taught in Santa Barbara a workshop on
12:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Matt Pilates for string training people who string train and I actually taught everyone there how to do a twenty fifteen minute workout with twenty implies Matt exercises that will benefit anyone who lifts weights and you can literally do it after you lift all your weights at the gym or you could do it before or you could do it on your off days or you could do it on your zone two as a way to kind of like
13:03
[SPEAKER_00]: stretch and move everything around.
13:05
[SPEAKER_00]: It's fifteen minutes full body workout that will absolutely improve your form and the results are getting with your strengthening.
13:12
[SPEAKER_00]: You can actually take a version of that workshop at fullbodyinfifteen.com.
13:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, fullbodyinfifteen.com.
13:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Love that.
13:19
[SPEAKER_02]: By the way, that's free.
13:20
[SPEAKER_02]: It's free, and it'll help you learn the five major spine shapes in Plotty's end.
13:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Create that fifteen minute workout.
13:27
[SPEAKER_02]: So definitely dig in there.
13:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Great question, Corey, thanks for that a few of a question.
13:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Text us at three, went out, nine, five, five, three, four, or because who can remember those phone numbers?
13:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Go to be at pod.com slash questions, be at pod.com slash questions.
13:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Stick around.
13:43
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll be right back.
13:45
[SPEAKER_02]: We're gonna dig into this cover with Joy Hoover.
13:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
13:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Now let's talk about Joy Hoover, who's our neighbor, by the way, temporarily, which is kind of cool.
13:54
[SPEAKER_02]: After experiencing a devastating family tragedy in twenty-thirteen, Joy Hoover dedicated herself for fifteen years in Vegas to improving women's safety anti-trafficking and fighting gender-based violence.
14:06
[SPEAKER_02]: She founded the non-profit cupcake girls, which y'all probably know, because we support them with the profitable Pilates, and she later launched SOS Cosmetics,
14:17
[SPEAKER_02]: pronounced SOS, it spelled ES OES.
14:21
[SPEAKER_02]: The world's first patented smart lipstick featuring built-in drink testing strips and a panic button that has linked to a safety app.
14:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Her work has supported over ten thousand survivors and earned multiple awards and national media recognition.
14:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's quite, it's quite clever.
14:38
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what's funny is we just recapped David Corbin and you met Joy at the same exact event.
14:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that the same?
14:46
[SPEAKER_00]: We just entered.
14:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah.
14:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you met them both.
14:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Sorry, sorry.
14:50
[SPEAKER_02]: So yes, David, I did.
14:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I actually had lunch with joy.
14:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Or I said it a table with joy.
14:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I was lunch and then David was the after the event was over.
14:58
[SPEAKER_02]: You're right.
14:59
[SPEAKER_02]: What a great time that was.
15:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and it's funny because I didn't interview them near each other, but they're coming out next to each other.
15:05
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's hilarious.
15:06
[SPEAKER_00]: So we talked, I mean, first I just want to say that like if you haven't yet listened to this episode and you
15:12
[SPEAKER_00]: There is like violent talk in there.
15:14
[SPEAKER_00]: There are some topics that could be triggering or activating some people.
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So do take caution when you listen to it.
15:19
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do think it's really important to listen to because I want to highlight a couple parts of our story that have nothing to do.
15:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, they have a lot to do with all the things, but like
15:29
[SPEAKER_00]: you can see yourself in those stories.
15:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So when she and her husband had their first kid, his dad killed his mom.
15:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And they just had a baby.
15:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And so can you imagine me new parents and then like dealing with like the, not just a loss of parent, but like I think she said that their daughter was like eight days old.
15:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
15:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And they had to fly across the country.
15:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
15:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I just handle that.
15:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, of course, so tragic, but for them to figure out.
15:52
[SPEAKER_00]: for them to not let that define them, but instead allow them to create a carve-a-path that could help them use their story to support other people with different stories.
16:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it's really, really cool.
16:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think a lot of times we have these tragic things happen in our lives and they become the story we tell ourselves that's how this back.
16:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I've lost seven people in my life.
16:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, this happened.
16:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't want to discount those things.
16:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Those are, especially when you have abuse like that.
16:19
[SPEAKER_00]: ends in that way.
16:20
[SPEAKER_00]: It is, it's devastating.
16:22
[SPEAKER_02]: But I do think that like, she said it was happening for like forty years.
16:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
16:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's like, that's really hard to grow up around to experience, to like, to have relationships and other things.
16:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I just want to say like,
16:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that their story and other people stories that are similar, where they persevere through that, it kind of, it changed who they are as parents and also how they raise their children, but also how they see other people.
16:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think it's so easy to judge, like why didn't she leave or why, like we talked about this earlier with the financial stuff, like why didn't this?
16:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like,
16:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of this stuff has been going on for so long, you know, you don't think it will ever turn to something that's that bad, right?
17:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So, and then the other thing that I want to highlight that happened to them as they started SOS, really cool company, and best their life savings to like make this broad act that's right.
17:11
[SPEAKER_02]: It's really like how friends and family help support.
17:14
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to help people who
17:16
[SPEAKER_00]: who need access to support wherever they are.
17:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And obviously women, this is what the product is for, but we all need this.
17:25
[SPEAKER_00]: It can be helpful for anybody, but they had a fire, like a free electrical situation in their roof.
17:32
[SPEAKER_00]: First of all, the product helped get the fire department there.
17:35
[SPEAKER_00]: You've to listen to the story.
17:36
[SPEAKER_00]: It's insane.
17:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Faster than calling them on one.
17:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, faster than calling them on one.
17:39
[SPEAKER_00]: This product, they're able to press the panic button and get the fire department there, which is the fire department said if they had been any, any minute later, they would lost a whole house.
17:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
17:48
[SPEAKER_00]: So they got to keep the framework.
17:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, there's a lot going on there, but they lost all the product.
17:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
17:54
[SPEAKER_00]: However,
17:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Because they had a start from scratch, and they already had customers, and they'd already been going through it, they used it an opportunity to make it even better.
18:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And I share this because like so many times, like, I mean, how do how deflating would that be?
18:08
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not only do you lose your house, but all your business that they're experiencing.
18:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I don't even know how you don't get a job at Costco.
18:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't even know how you go.
18:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me do this again.
18:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me start over.
18:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Like buy for everything.
18:20
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm not living in my own home.
18:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, let me just start this over.
18:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, like all that's what I'm not gonna lie.
18:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I used to think I seriously would have got a job at Costco because I could get my steps in.
18:30
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I hear good things.
18:33
[SPEAKER_00]: The hot dogs are a dollar fifty.
18:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you know, like I went and just like packed it in.
18:37
[SPEAKER_00]: But instead they used it opportunity to make the product even better.
18:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think as a business owner or someone who's working on a new project, like we think we have to get it right from the first time.
18:46
[SPEAKER_00]: The first start, the first, the first iteration has to be the best one.
18:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And actually, like, most people's first ones are not the one that go, like, not the one that goes to market.
18:57
[SPEAKER_02]: In fact, we have so many websites that we rebuild.
18:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't tell me.
19:01
[SPEAKER_00]: But you know what, like, even our matte deck, right?
19:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we have changed the, the matte deck, our matte flash card deck because we put it out there.
19:08
[SPEAKER_00]: We sold three thousand decks.
19:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we printed a new version of it because we've all the feedback we got.
19:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And then also how we know other people use the other decks.
19:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
19:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Kenanelman said that, you know, Joe Pilates, a lot of his sketches and his patents that he sent in and not really sent in, but he pretended like he did.
19:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Those are not things he went to market with.
19:27
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, you don't usually go to market with the first one.
19:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
19:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you use that to get the patent, but that's not what you go to market with.
19:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I think like, I mean, even now, we've just made another change to the flash card deck boxes, you know, like,
19:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, because every time we learn something new, we're like, oh, we need to add that on, or we need to do this, or we should adjust this or whatever.
19:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, we've made in the USA.
19:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, on our box.
19:52
[SPEAKER_02]: How do we, how do we miss that?
19:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Five years.
19:54
[SPEAKER_02]: We never, we were never.
19:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Clearly it was like, I remember my dad, like, going, does it say me in the USA?
19:59
[SPEAKER_00]: No, you can't have it.
20:00
[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't even know how, like, I'd skipped my brain.
20:02
[SPEAKER_00]: We are printing it, but apparently it's the thing.
20:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, I just point this out because even if you don't think the topic applies to you, you think, oh, I'm not.
20:10
[SPEAKER_00]: going off having first dates or I'm not like I'm not interested this every single one of us is going to do a first again.
20:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
20:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And then get frustrated because it didn't work.
20:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, it's because you're supposed to you're supposed to go with the second thing or the third iteration.
20:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I mean, there's also the tech, the tech part of the of it.
20:31
[SPEAKER_02]: It is proximity or like as well.
20:35
[SPEAKER_02]: So if somebody else in a room, if you are on the app and someone else in the room pushes the button, you will get notified as well.
20:42
[SPEAKER_02]: So like, you know, you can support the people.
20:45
[SPEAKER_02]: You personally, who might be in that scenario, but it could be that you're in the proximity of someone who needs help.
20:49
[SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, and this is like, we're interesting.
20:52
[SPEAKER_00]: where we're like, you know, we can be, we always think we want it.
20:55
[SPEAKER_00]: We can be an alert for other people, but it's hard to be an alert when you can't see the signs.
20:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we've talked about like somebody like choking.
21:01
[SPEAKER_00]: You can see actual signs.
21:02
[SPEAKER_00]: They are choking.
21:03
[SPEAKER_00]: They need help.
21:04
[SPEAKER_00]: But when someone feels unsafe on a date or a meeting,
21:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Or, you know, or walking out the street, you can't tell often times that they feel unsafe.
21:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is a very discreet way, a very discreet tech that allows them to say, I'm not safe.
21:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And other people to be able to be witnesses or support in that in that.
21:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
21:21
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think it's really cool.
21:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, definitely.
21:24
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, like a lot like a lot going on there, you know, I think I have something else I wanted to talk about, but just the fact
21:31
[SPEAKER_02]: First off, how the hell is it possible that they build a relationship with the emergency services where pressing a button on a lipstick container would get the fire department to her house fast and then calling nine fucking one one.
21:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Like what?
21:44
[SPEAKER_00]: How did they, how did they do that?
21:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't even know that.
21:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't even know that.
21:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
21:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
22:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that.
22:01
[SPEAKER_02]: What, but it also makes you realize that there are like clearly there are systems that can be tapped into and they were able to figure that out.
22:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't even know that that was a thing.
22:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I would have imagined.
22:15
[SPEAKER_00]: It makes me think of what's that the Italian job where Seth Greens character is like tap it into like the.
22:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, napster is like tapping into like the red lights up.
22:25
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a red light.
22:26
[SPEAKER_00]: That's agree.
22:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Like like clearly there.
22:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry.
22:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I won't start until you address me as an episode.
22:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
22:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
22:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
22:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
22:31
[SPEAKER_00]: There's clearly like something, but I also just want to say like.
22:35
[SPEAKER_00]: If you haven't yet, listen to that episode, do you want to listen to it could understand what the product is?
22:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And you can also see it on our YouTube channel.
22:40
[SPEAKER_00]: It's quite cool.
22:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think an excellent gift for every woman in your life, even if they're married.
22:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It's you, because she talks about using it for like a kid she saw on the street.
22:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, she and her husband saw a kid with no shoes in Vegas, walking down a sidewalk or whatever.
22:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, there's something wrong here clearly.
23:02
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, so, but yeah, I mean, it's, anyway, the tech part is fascinating and really, really fancy.
23:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And then of course, they have, it's lipstick.
23:11
[SPEAKER_02]: So presumably they will have different colors at some point.
23:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there's a whole thing.
23:16
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a, I mean, she's done a great job.
23:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And then, but anyway, you know, she was talking about,
23:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Blame culture.
23:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And she was talking about how there's a crazy number of people who have experienced drinks biking where, you know, I was looking up a bunch of stats and like at a very least, ten percent of women have
23:37
[SPEAKER_02]: reported it saying like I either have my drink spiked or I saw someone spike someone else's drink it's also so I think the number so high because like well that's that's only that's only like people who have actually reported it you know and then there's there's polling that has happened where you know it's it's not that's not necessarily reported to well because it's a lot of nothing how are you don't know anything happened to you like
24:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I have just in all the podcasts I listen to like people have called the cops and the cops are like don't fucking shit yeah and don't I'm not like I'm not against police guys what I am against is this culture of like not believing women and it goes to this blame stuff like what were you wearing what were you doing you know like
24:18
[SPEAKER_02]: If you were, it's like, did they, did they threaten you?
24:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
24:21
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, like, I guess maybe I don't know what the, actually, this is interesting.
24:25
[SPEAKER_02]: If you, you know, what do you need to say to get them to pay attention?
24:30
[SPEAKER_02]: That would be something that would be worth finding.
24:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't really answer that.
24:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, just there's a, there's a, well, because here, here's like, my personal experience was I had somebody threaten me when I was living in LA.
24:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
24:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was afraid.
24:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And I didn't know what to do.
24:42
[SPEAKER_02]: So I called the police.
24:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And it wasn't an emergency.
24:45
[SPEAKER_02]: He wasn't like, he wasn't at my door.
24:47
[SPEAKER_02]: But I called them.
24:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And I said, hey, I don't know what to do here.
24:51
[SPEAKER_02]: But like, this guy's threatened me.
24:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And he might be on his way over right now.
24:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what to do.
24:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And they were like, did he threaten to kill you?
24:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, he didn't say I'm going to kill you.
25:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And they were like, we're not going to do anything.
25:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
25:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, what?
25:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
25:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, he's making me feel like I'm in trouble.
25:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I just listened to it was just I was listening to like a date line or something like that and they brought up the story about this woman Denise who was kidnapped from her home and then like taken away for several days and then and then told Matt to tell him when they called her the American gone girl like the real-life gone girl.
25:23
[SPEAKER_00]: They didn't believe her boyfriend.
25:24
[SPEAKER_00]: They said he must have done it.
25:26
[SPEAKER_00]: He must have done it.
25:27
[SPEAKER_00]: They didn't believe her.
25:28
[SPEAKER_00]: They turned to charge her with a crime because they said that they like a place at least times
25:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Then come to find out two other victims called separate police departments to claim the same thing and those police departments didn't believe them.
25:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Why would anyone do that?
25:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Like didn't believe them so I am with you.
25:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we don't, we need to know what do cops need to hear so they actually believe what you're saying.
25:48
[SPEAKER_02]: But also like I think it's like a common experience among survivors is that they're like, I wasn't believe.
25:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And like the number of people who
25:58
[SPEAKER_02]: In polling have to have have said, hey, yes, I've experienced drink spiking is like could be like super high could be as high as one and two people women Yeah, right and anyway that like when you put it all together There's clearly a problem.
26:12
[SPEAKER_02]: It's fucked out that there's a problem, but there is a problem right and then
26:17
[SPEAKER_02]: when women aren't believed, you know, and it doesn't actually just have to be women having their drinks bite.
26:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Anybody can have their drinks bite.
26:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I listen to podcast bad dates, many men get their drinks bite.
26:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
26:28
[SPEAKER_02]: But when, when if it's reported and it's not believed, what does that teach the person who reported it?
26:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
26:34
[SPEAKER_02]: That they're, they're not going to try to even report it next time.
26:37
[SPEAKER_02]: What's the point?
26:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
26:39
[SPEAKER_00]: They're going to say.
26:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and that's what puts you people in
26:42
[SPEAKER_00]: not so great situations where by the time something does happen, it's a little too late to get help, but I think what, you know, she talked a little bit like changing the shift of shame from the survivor to the perpetrator and making that the focus.
26:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think when you use a product like they have or you educate women in an orman in this way of like what
27:03
[SPEAKER_00]: what does it mean to like, it's not your fault.
27:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
27:06
[SPEAKER_00]: It really isn't is more empowering because now you, especially like so many people are have fear about like, well, what, what if something goes wrong on the day?
27:14
[SPEAKER_00]: What happens to someone who's like an interview?
27:15
[SPEAKER_00]: What's that when it goes wrong at the house showing?
27:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we can take some of the fear away and put some control back in the hands of the person who might become a victim of something and we can hopefully stop that or mitigate that.
27:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
27:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And, and, and obviously, you know, joy and
27:33
[SPEAKER_02]: her company are very aware of all of this stigma.
27:36
[SPEAKER_02]: So they've been intentional about their names of their products.
27:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Like one of them is called we believe you.
27:41
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not the dress.
27:42
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, like stuff like that, which speak directly to the real problem, which is the blame game.
27:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
27:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
27:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I just think it's like, you know, unfortunately recording this like right after like some of the Diddy trials and Weinstein's retrial and like it starts to make you think that like,
28:01
[SPEAKER_00]: the me two movement kind of like didn't.
28:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Didn't have the effect that we thought it would have and women aren't being believed as much or or the blame is on them for paying themselves in the situations and I think like if we can all.
28:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Think about it differently.
28:15
[SPEAKER_00]: We can actually start to spot things and support people instead of going, well, how did that happen to them?
28:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Like with a judgment, it can, it, things can happen to anybody at any time in this world.
28:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And since we can't actually stop these perpetrators, because we don't know who they are, what we can all do is band together and be part of a support system of being there for people, whether we know them or not, and just being a safety for them.
28:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And also,
28:40
[SPEAKER_00]: not assuming it's what they wore or what they did at a certain time or why would you be on that street?
28:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Like all that stuff is unhelpful and doesn't solve the problem anyway.
28:50
[SPEAKER_00]: No, doesn't.
28:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't.
28:52
[SPEAKER_00]: So anyways, we can get our high horse on this forever, but I do love what Joyce do and I think this product is really cool.
28:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
28:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And also, you know, driven by a player problem that needs a solution and, you know, it's just really really clever and
29:10
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, if you see if you actually go look at the lipstick, it's pretty innocuous.
29:14
[SPEAKER_02]: You wouldn't act.
29:14
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no like press here, like, act me button kind of a thing.
29:18
[SPEAKER_02]: It's it's quick, easy.
29:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And then what what I thought was also cool is you can set it so that if I think there's settings, if you click it once, you can alert one person.
29:27
[SPEAKER_02]: If you click a twice, you can alert a different person.
29:28
[SPEAKER_00]: You set it.
29:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you can set up the different things in the app for what to do.
29:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And one of our neighbors, you know, her daughter was going off to EDC.
29:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Got her's nineteen years old, got an EDC, and of course the mom once her got her to go to EDC, like you should experience festivals when you're nineteen.
29:42
[SPEAKER_00]: She had this product and she had an arcante and arcante thing, so she could be there in case someone needed it, right?
29:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, an arcante for somebody who's overdosing, but she had this product to make sure that her own stuff
29:53
[SPEAKER_00]: was safe and that she could be safe so she could enjoy herself and be an EDC.
29:57
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I love for a nineteen year-old living in a place where she could just go to festival and be fine.
30:01
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't live in that world.
30:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So I love that she was empowered to have a good time and also take care of herself and her friends.
30:06
[SPEAKER_02]: That's really cool.
30:07
[SPEAKER_02]: That's cool.
30:07
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
30:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, stick around.
30:08
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll be right back as Joy gave us a couple of really amazing reaction items.
30:12
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to dig into those.
30:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, right.
30:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome back.
30:15
[SPEAKER_02]: So finally, let's talk about those be it action items.
30:17
[SPEAKER_02]: What bold executable intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your combo with Joy Hoover?
30:23
[SPEAKER_02]: She said, hold space for yourself.
30:28
[SPEAKER_02]: This came from her conversation around the collector trauma that
30:33
[SPEAKER_02]: She and her husband and, you know, daughter experienced the other daughter was only eight, but with her in loss, right?
30:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And she said immediately after it happened, they started to get therapy as a, as a couple.
30:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And they've maintained, you know, therapy sets.
30:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And that was twenty-thirteen.
30:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's been a while, right?
30:54
[SPEAKER_02]: And she said, prioritizing your healing, it puts you in a position to help others
31:02
[SPEAKER_02]: without inadvertently hurting them, right?
31:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Like she said, and the call out here was, you have to heal yourself first.
31:11
[SPEAKER_02]: You can't heal the world if you're not healing yourself first, right?
31:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And she said something very intense.
31:18
[SPEAKER_02]: She said it was, it's not about your intention.
31:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Right?
31:22
[SPEAKER_02]: It's about your impact.
31:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And you could have the intention of helping people, but actually be hurting them.
31:28
[SPEAKER_02]: So you need to heal yourself first before you're going on to support others in that kind of a way.
31:34
[SPEAKER_02]: She said, also, it's not selfish.
31:37
[SPEAKER_02]: It's, she said, it is selfish to not heal yourself first.
31:42
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not selfish to take care of yourself.
31:44
[SPEAKER_02]: It's selfish if you don't take care of yourself.
31:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So we now I love this.
31:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
31:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And this is like obviously right up our alley.
31:51
[SPEAKER_02]: You know it.
31:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I read the other day in my own, my morning reads and I am like now preaching it because I always say like self-care isn't selfish care, right?
32:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure.
32:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So self-care is actually an act of self-love.
32:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you do not love yourself, you actually cannot love other people.
32:09
[SPEAKER_00]: You can feel like you're loving on them and supporting them and liking them.
32:13
[SPEAKER_00]: But you actually can't truly love others because you don't love yourself.
32:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And the hatred and misery I'll wear seen in this world today, online other places, is just because a bunch of people don't love themselves.
32:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're like, the world needs love.
32:25
[SPEAKER_00]: You gotta love yourself first.
32:26
[SPEAKER_00]: You cannot just like go out.
32:27
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't just spread yourself then.
32:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that that act of therapy, that act of self love, that's an act of self care.
32:33
[SPEAKER_00]: It's very important.
32:33
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not self as you're right.
32:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, what about you?
32:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so she said she encourages all to join the swipe red movement.
32:40
[SPEAKER_00]: The core slogan of the movement is no more shame, no more doubt.
32:44
[SPEAKER_00]: We see red flags, we call them out.
32:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you can contribute to the community awareness.
32:48
[SPEAKER_00]: If you just go to SOS Cosmetics and that's at ESOEScosmetics.com and it provides platforms for community engagement.
32:55
[SPEAKER_00]: You can submit experience.
32:56
[SPEAKER_00]: You had so others can recognize and respond to similar threats.
32:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's really important.
33:01
[SPEAKER_00]: because sometimes you have not experienced a red flag.
33:05
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you hear about other peoples, you go, oh, and then you can see the signs.
33:09
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, it's funny because
33:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I get a weekly email forwarded from my mom.
33:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
33:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Who gets notifications from her company about cybersecurity.
33:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
33:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Threats.
33:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
33:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And what people have done to trick other people into giving away information that eventually could hurt them, right?
33:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's the same idea here.
33:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
33:37
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, this, the community platform that they've put together is a way to just become more educated and be aware.
33:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
33:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
33:46
[SPEAKER_02]: So I love that.
33:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And also in that community, you can ask for guidance on your own red flags.
33:49
[SPEAKER_00]: You can submit a question to inquire of the situation, the minor egg or a significant red flag.
33:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's the thing I love this because
33:55
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, twelve years ago, my therapist was like, yeah, Miss, you ignored the red flags in your relationship.
34:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So you need to go back into your memory box about those first dates and what flags did you ignore that were red, but then you can spot them as you date.
34:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you have to practice, like, how red is this flag?
34:11
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just an orange flag.
34:12
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a yellow flag.
34:13
[SPEAKER_00]: What kind of flag is this?
34:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love this because you don't really do it by yourself.
34:16
[SPEAKER_00]: You can do it with other people's red flags to help you.
34:20
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think it's really cool.
34:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's cool.
34:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to unique beat action.
34:23
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm in.
34:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Really cool.
34:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope everyone goes and checks this out again.
34:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it can be a great gift for a woman in your life or a person in your life, but also just like to be aware of what's going on.
34:34
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so easy for us to think it won't happen to us.
34:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure.
34:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And this stuff, you know, like some people I probably will, oh, I'm too old for that.
34:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it won't happen to me.
34:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And like I worry the fuck out of like my mom and women her age or dating.
34:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, yeah.
34:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, no, there are things that can happen to you.
34:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember my eight-year-old clients, like, okay, I'm pregnant.
34:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, yeah, but you can get craps, babe.
34:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what?
34:56
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't just feel like life's good, Belle.
34:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have any to worry about.
34:59
[SPEAKER_00]: No, bad things happen to good people.
35:01
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to be aware.
35:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So, thanks, Joy, for what you're doing.
35:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Leslie Logan.
35:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm Brad Crowell.
35:06
[SPEAKER_00]: How are going to use these tips in your life?
35:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Please let us know, let Joy Hoover and SOS Cosmetics know, let the be at POD know.
35:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Share this with the friend who needs to hear it.
35:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
35:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's a great episode to share the friend.
35:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
35:18
[SPEAKER_00]: There's some information that can be hard to listen to, but I think it's really important.
35:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And until next time, be a TAS yet.
35:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Bye for now.
35:25
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all I got for this episode of The Beat Tell You See A Podcast.
35:29
[SPEAKER_00]: One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review.
35:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts.
35:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at The Beat Pot on Instagram.
35:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I would love to know more about you.
35:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it.
35:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Help us and others be a tell you see it.
35:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Have an awesome day.
35:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Be it till you see it is a production of the Bloom Podcast Network.
35:56
[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at plus one three one oh nine oh five five three four or send a DM on Instagram at be it pod.
36:08
[SPEAKER_02]: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
36:13
[SPEAKER_00]: It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epic team at disenio.co.
36:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Our theme music is by Ellie at Apex production music, and our branding by designer and artist John Franco Chilfe.
36:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
36:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website.
36:32
[SPEAKER_02]: And finally, the Meredith route for keeping us all on point and on time.