Latest / Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce / 213. Why You Need Quantum Healing To Release Divorce Pain & Codependency So You Don't Repeat the Past

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213. Why You Need Quantum Healing To Release Divorce Pain & Codependency So You Don't Repeat the Past · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:49
  Speaker 1: The pain of divorce, can feel impossible to move through the grief, the fear, the self-doubt that just won't let go.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: But what if the key to healing isn't just in your mind, but in the energy your body is still holding onto?
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Join our conversation today with quantum transformation therapist, kate Mayer, to explore how quantum healing can help you release divorce pain at its root.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Hi love, welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave and build back your confidence.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, dawn Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer and divorcee.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is one of my favorites and I am really excited to share with you that number one, that feeling of being stuck, like, no matter what you do, you just can't break through or move forward.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Kate is going to break down exactly why that happens and how quantum healing can shift things in a way that traditional therapy often can't.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: And, trust me, what she shares might change how you see your own healing forever.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: The second thing we're going to talk about is something Kate had said to me about trauma that stopped me in my tracks.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: She asked me if I knew what was happening in the moment.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I was conceived like what was going on with my parents in that moment and, I'll be honest, it was a lot.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: But when she explained how our earliest experiences can shape our entire emotional blueprint, it made so much sense.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Stick around, because this part is powerful and finally get ready for something totally different, because Kate is about to walk us through a quantum healing session and even if you're just listening, you may actually feel the shift.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I know I always do.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: So if you've ever wanted to experience quantum healing firsthand, don't go anywhere because it's in here.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Let's dig in Welcome.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Thank you, how are you?
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: I heard you're having a talky, talky day, doing a lot of meetings today.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been a bit full on today, but hey, it's all good.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, welcome.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: So tell our audience just a little bit about who you are, and then Tiffany's got our interview questions back there she's going to pop in with.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: She's going to facilitate us.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: We're so lucky to have a facilitator.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: We are hi.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Tiffany, so I my name is Kate Mayer and I am a quantum transformation psychotherapist.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: So I use quantum healing to help people to release all of the the energetic imprints of past events that have happened in their lives, of past traumas, of belief paradigms that don't serve them, of emotions that are stuck in their body that they haven't been able to process, the negative trapped emotions that get really stuck.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: So what quantum healing does is it gets right to the root of the problem and shifts all that is holding people back in terms of those tricky emotions and beliefs.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: I think that what's so very cool about the work that you do is the human body is incredibly complex, right and and from our belief system over here and I know yours as well is that it was designed by an intelligent creator and that it was designed to heal itself.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: And it's incredibly complex and when you talk about using quantum healing and getting to the root, it's positively impacting all of these layers within the body, mind and spirit that we don't even fully understand absolutely and I'm I'm amazed every, every kind of week, there is something where I'm like, oh wow, that's incredible that this person's brain and body has been able to develop this system to protect them from seeing a certain thing or, to, you know, to disconnect the the, to dissociate in certain scenarios and all of these sort of things like we are incredibly complex yeah, well, we're so glad to have you.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us from Scotland.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: It's been awesome to work with you.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: We've brought you in a couple of times to work with our team actually, yeah, which has been really really cool and then to work with the women in our program, and we have a lot more planned with that.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: So, tiffany, talk to us.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: Okay, so your collaboration brings together powerful healing modalities.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: Can you share a bit about your journey, each of you, and what led you to this work and to each other?
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, a little bit about our journeys.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: You want to go?
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: A little bit about our journeys.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: You want to go?
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, you want me to go?
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: So let's say okay, 2010,.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Right, I am getting divorced.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: It's going to be like see how quickly I can do this journey.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: 2010,.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I'm getting divorced and I'm realizing how traumatized I was and that I never dealt with it.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Right, and I commit to myself that I'm going to do the work to transform all the things and also I'm a to do the work to transform all the things and also I'm a therapist.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Super embarrassing to get, kate.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: We've never discussed this.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Were you a therapist when you got divorced?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Uh, I was just becoming one.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Yes embarrassing to be a therapist and getting divorced.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah well, you know, we, we're living proof that we, we understand what people have been going through you know, right, that's right, that's right.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: And so I also had a lot of chronic disease.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: And so, as I was sort of throwing myself into my work post-divorce and throwing myself into my healing, every time I learned a new modality.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I wanted to see how much of my health I could reclaim, right, how much mental health and how much physical health I could reclaim.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: And every time I integrated a new tool or a new ideology right, whether it was yoga or meditation or past life regression, hypnosis or Al-Anon, or I mean acupuncture, like all, like the list goes on and on EMDR and cognitive behavior, like all the things, right, I still would have dissociative processes, I would still have cluster headaches, I would still have these things Right.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: And so I just kept going, adding modalities until finally, right, I don't have cluster headaches anymore and I don't have arthritis anymore and I don't dissociate very often at all anymore and when I do, I can catch it and sort of get reconnected really quickly.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: And so where that journey led me was to launching this podcast, working with women and wanting to share the tools that I know fundamentally move the needle around dissociation and trauma.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Really, right, because how can we truly know that we're changing our patterns and we're going to attract a different partner unless we've changed those underlying things.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: So fast forward to last year, kate and I met mutually another, marty Winder Adams, right.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: She has a couple of books and an amazing podcast and we both were guests on her podcast right and she introduced us.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: She just knew who we needed to connect.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: She knew there was going to be magic, and there is and it was, it was like pretty instant right.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, your turn uh, yeah, so and and and.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: Then we have used each other's modalities since then and you know know, helped each other heal, and then I've done some great, you know some lovely work on your program.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: So it's been brilliant and lots to come, I'm sure.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm sure.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: So as soon as we met, like you, what you do has the word quantum in it.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: So I'm like duh, but what?
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: And so we were on a zoom right like a zoom coffee and you said, well, let me just show you.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: And so I, you had me close my eyes right and you just did a little quantum healing and, um, and I could feel my nervous system shift from the words that you were speaking and that was so cool, like I was sold.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: And then, yeah, we've sort of been trading services right and it's been really powerful.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah I love that.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: So my journey, um, so I started off, I, I did a psychology degree, I did counseling.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Like you, I've kind of was trying everything, you know I I knew I wanted to help people heal, but I was also on a journey to heal myself.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: And I think that's the thing, isn't it, that your purpose is always in your pain, you know, and so so I started off in quite a kind of traditional therapy, therapeutic kind of way.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: But I learned acupuncture, like you and all of that sort of thing.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: And I began and I realized that you can't get so far with with the traditional therapy always, you know you could, you could get people to a place where they could start to believe in their you know conscious minds that they were maybe worth something.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: But then a few months down the line, something would trigger them and they would be back to you know a difficult or anxious place again.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: And it's because you can't, you can very rarely get to the root of of the issue because it's buried so deep in your subconscious.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: And so I was on this journey to find whatever modalities I could that would heal both me and my clients at a much deeper level.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I, I couldn't feel good in my heart.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: I couldn't feel like I was worthy in my heart.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: I couldn't feel good in my heart.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: I couldn't feel that I was worthy in my heart.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: I couldn't feel that I was lovable.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: You know, I I knew that my nervous system was still quite wired and I really wanted to be in a place of peace and where I could feel love in my heart.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: And but it was when I added quantum healing into the mix.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, my goodness, shifted.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: I could.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: I could literally feel my nervous system kind of unwinding and all of the so I used to have.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Like my back used to be absolutely rock hard, um, you couldn't get anything in under my shoulder blades or anything.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: It was like properly rock hard.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: And using quantum healing, you know, all of that just started to shift.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: I used to have an autoimmune disease.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: I used to have infections that just nothing would shift them.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: I, I had a tick.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: I had all sorts of like automatic behaviors which basically were aimed at trying to keep people away from me.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: You know, I didn't.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: People hurt me so much that I didn't want people to connect with me.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: I and it and it upset me so much because I wanted to connect with people but I it and it upset me so much because I wanted to connect with people but I, you know, at the same time I was like pushing people away automatically, and so these are very deep layered, um complex issues.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: But the beautiful thing about quantum healing is it's able to get to them right at the root and, bit by, I've been able to peel off the layers.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: This is, this is how it works.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: It's kind of there's these big core issues and then there's all these layers around them and you can kind of release bit by bit until you start getting to the real core of the issues thing that I learned from working with you that was so profound, liberating, empowering was.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: one of the things you know we've been working on me around is stuff around when I was conceived, right, when we talk about generational trauma and the vectors that get passed down from generation to generation and I knew I had trauma around growing up in you know some pretty traumatic circumstances but really thinking about, wow, what was happening in the moment of conception and how that gets woven into someone's energy, energetic imprint, right, and knowing that there is a process for um unlocking that and releasing it, has been really remarkable.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so interesting because actually what happens in the womb is it can be a massive building block in for for people, in terms of if you're, if your mother who is hosting you at this stage yeah is, is anxious, is like her nervous systems all over the shop.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: If, if, even worse, she is very narcissistic and has, is hateful and angry and, you know, has all these very difficult emotions.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: You're, you're growing in all of that environment, energy, yes, in all of that energy, and it has a massive effect on people and, and you know, quantum healing is immense, that at releasing all of that pain, that, as a baby you're, you don't know what's going on, but the world outside there feels very scary because you're getting all of this negative emotion flooding at you.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: It's beautiful, beautiful work, tiffany.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Did we cover it, do you think?
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: yes, awesome, I think.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: So what's next?
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: Okay, so quantum healing works with energy at a deep level.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: How does it help women release trauma from divorce?
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: wow, well, divorce has.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: It brings up all sorts of big emotions, you know it brings up I mean, for starters, it's probably not what any of us might have wanted when we start out in a marriage, you know.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: So all of that kind of hope, hopes and dreams that you might have had for your future are kind of being dashed and you're facing a very different future ahead and that can bring up a lot of big emotion, which is, it's very hard to process.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Quantum healing is amazing at releasing that.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: And then you'll have you might have all sorts of other really big emotions.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: There might be shame, there might be, um, just loneliness, deep loneliness.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: There might be rejection, there might be, you know, all sorts of difficult pain there and that's that's just if it's been a fairly amicable breakup, right forget about high contact and yeah, yeah, if there's, if there's narcissism or some sort of abuse, and there can be much more um at play there and so.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: But it's not just the emotions, I mean, there'll be all sorts of beliefs.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: So what happens is when we have, when we experience these big emotions, our brains become very neuroplastic.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: So so in these big life events, our brains adapt very much to the thoughts we're thinking at those times.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: So obviously we might be stuck in a kind of feeling helpless, feeling powerless, feeling like our futures are going to be desperate, you know, feeling all of these sort of very difficult thought processes that can become quite imprinted and and leave us kind of stuck in our own little cages.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: You know, we kind of cage ourselves with these negative um beliefs and emotions, and so it's a, you know, these really key times and and they can leave us struggling for a long time to come out of these places.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: But quantum healing can do that really really fast and just have you facing, thinking something really positive about your future, seeing this as a clean start, seeing this as a time to create something new and better, you know, rather than thinking of all the lot that you've lost.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Right, Like that is one of the things I think consistently comes up is like this sort of frozenness in the cage that you mentioned.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: Right, this frozenness about I don't know how to let go of what I envisioned could have been.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to let go of that and even get momentum in a forward direction.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: A lot of like I don't know how to get there, I don't know how to break out of where I am to get where.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: I don't even know where I want to go Right, because there's such a fear around making choices or trusting oneself.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: I think this sort of fear around can I even trust myself.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: It's.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: It's really creates a lot of frozen stuckness.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, myself it's.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: It's really creates a lot of frozen stuckness.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely yeah.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: And trust is such a such a big issue, isn't it?
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: I mean, especially if there's been some narcissistic behaviors going on, you know, because you've been programmed basically to doubt yourself over and over and over.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: And so then all of a sudden all of of that framework of the marriage is gone and you're kind of out there on your own and you know, the crazy thing is that you go from because you're so trained to sort of looking at what you know, using them as a guide for how you need to be, or like watching what they, how, what their responses are to your behaviors and all of those sort of things.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Suddenly you're out on your own and you can actually feel like you don't know how to be you know you're so used to yeah, yeah, exactly yeah, and so I have experienced certainly with you and I've watched you know our team experience that sometimes in one or two or three quantum sessions you're already seeing some shifts.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Right, sometimes within 10 minutes.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we could even do a little bit.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I was thinking that, right, like could we do a little bit?
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's, let's, let's chat a little more, right.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: And then like, yeah, let's do a little bit.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, I love that.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: All right, what you got for us, tiffany.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: Okay, so, kate, what is your experience using homeopathy been like and what shifts have you noticed, and how are they different from other healing modalities?
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: I, I love homeopathy.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: So the first, my first experience of homeopathy was when my son was six months old.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: He oh, it was such hard work really.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: He bless him.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, I didn't know it at the time but he had silent reflux, so his stomach acid was coming up into his throat and he would scream like constantly.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I have you know, first time, mom, I didn't know what was going on.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what the problem was.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: Nobody, nobody was giving me any advice.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: I just knew that I had a very unhappy boy and I never knew what the problem was.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: He, he would wake up every hour, he wanted to breastfeed all the time because breast milk was alkaline, so it would help him.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: But obviously that was exhausting for me and exhausting for him.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: And you know we were just, and you know, obviously the the mother child born.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: You know we were, we were influencing each other massively and we were both completely yeah so I tried everything, um, you know, craniosacral and all sorts I can't even remember now, but I took him to anything I could possibly try.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: And then I took him to a homeopath and within so she gave him a remedy and the next 24 hours was an absolute nightmare because his symptoms got a whole lot worse.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: But that's what tends to happen when it's like the exact right remedy.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, the 24 hours were horrible.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: And then it was like I had a whole new boy, like the tension in his little body just relaxed completely and, um, literally within 24 hours, it it was really amazing, um, and within two weeks, you know, he was calm, he was able to nap in his cot, which had never happened before, you know, he started sleeping, thank goodness it.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: And and then she gave me some remedies as well, because obviously I was exhausted and yeah, and, and I find it quite difficult just describe the feeling of healing with homeopathy, because it happens at such a deep level, quantumly.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, it's kind of like just feeling more peace in your body somehow, or feeling more present or feeling more connected.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Um, yeah, I mean that that's my experience anyway, but my and so then I took it myself for about three years after that and gave it to my children and, you know, could just notice like my, my boy, had some quite autistic tendencies as a, as a young boy.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: Um, so he would do things like if we ever walked past, you know, a gravel driveway and there were some stones out, we would not be able to walk on until every single stone had been put back into that driveway.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: So walks could take quite a long time, um, and you know, but then I would give him homeopathy and all of this just disappeared, you know, and, and it amazed me because I was like, well, this is, you know, he's, there's no placebo effects happening here.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: He doesn't know what, what's up being right, he's just shifting.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: So that was amazing.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: So it really helped him to just loosen up a whole lot and he now is very good at maths and things like that, but he doesn't have, you know, he can be very social.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: He doesn't have any of the, you know, maybe more difficult sides of the, of autism, um, but uh, yeah, and so I have just been using your remedy, dawn, which has been magical for me so um.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: I used Dawn's trust remedy the last two weeks or so, um, and I've had a lot of like abuse and difficult stuff in my childhood, um, and my adulthood, um, and and I've always found it very hard to get to that final stage of really trusting people and really being able to lean on people, and last two weeks I have been able to do that and that's been really, really amazing and, um, oh, it's really changed my life.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: So I am, I am incredibly grateful for that.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I love how these two different tools that we use are so complimentary, how they just work so deeply and profoundly and quickly, right.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: I think that if there was something that I could just convey to women about the work that you and I do collaboratively is that so often women spend years chasing solutions to release their pain, years in therapy, years like cold plunginging and I don't know all these very hard things, right, and it's not that quantum healing and homeopathy are easy because, like you said, very often these deep modalities they bring things up right that have that feel very, very acute for a short period of time and that can be very, very, very challenging.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: But then there's this intense amount of relief and recalibration that doesn't take years and years, and years and years.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: Awesome what you got, tip tip.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: Okay, what happens when women heal in a group setting versus on their own, and how does the collective energy amplify the healing process?
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: I love this conversation right, because we've been talking about, um.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't know about you, kate, but when I got divorced I joined a lot of groups and it was I think I did that because I was estranged from a lot of family, like I just didn't have a lot of family close by.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: You know, the ones that I did have were in other states, far away, and whatnot.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: And so I joined Al-Anon and I joined a women's group, women's group therapy and whatnot, and so I joined Al-Anon and I joined a women's group, women's group therapy, and like one of those personal development workshops like, oh, the one I did was called the living course, but there are others like I can't think of them now but and I found it very, very helpful for me to have it was.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: It was embarrassing and I had to confront a lot of shame and learn how to do vulnerability, but I found that when I was vulnerable and people received me and supported me, especially post-divorce, down to some of these women I'm still so close with I go to their children's weddings and we raise our kids together and the bonds that I created.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: But a lot of women are very intimidated by group work, and so it's such an interesting conversation.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Why group work?
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Why is that valuable?
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: What's your experience been with that case?
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I absolutely love group work.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Something really deep happens when a group comes together with a kind of shared intention to heal and transform.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: You know like the energy already from that intention is immense, and then when you see somebody else in the group being vulnerable, it kind of gives you permission to be vulnerable, and that's that's when people bond at the deepest level, you know.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: So that's when deep connections are made and and it's so lovely to see somebody who's going through something that you might be going through and sharing your journeys together and celebrating successes together.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: But in terms of quantum healing, something deep, deep happens when there's a group quantum healing session.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: It really like the energy seems to move faster and deeper.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: It's really interesting that you know in a group you get lots of people going from, so so I don't do quantum healing.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: We tend to start with a number and then you know towards the end, see, you see what that number is in terms of how triggering it.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, and you know so many people in a group situation will go down incredibly fast.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: It's, it's amazing, happens in group situations, but it's just like we're not meant to do any of this stuff alone.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: We're not.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: We're neurobiologically wired for love and belonging connection, right, and I think we can see this in a lot of different I don't know.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: I'll call it spiritual spaces, right?
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: We know that there's some real research about group meditation, that the energetic momentum that comes from group meditation can be measured, that the Bible says where two or more are gathered, right, that God is in their presence.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: There's something about that, the momentum that gets created in a group.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I recently read an Instagram post that I just love so much, but it talked about how Abraham Maslow did research around.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: When there's a shared positive peer culture, that it really supercharges the results.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: There's sort of this if you can do it, I can do it.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: It's so much easier for us to adopt new, healthy beliefs about ourselves, the world around us, about relationships.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: It just helps those transformations happen more deeply and more quickly.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Totally, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: But to do that, to get those benefits right, because there's always an energy exchange but to do that, to get those benefits right, because there's always an energy exchange, you have to be willing to expose yourself, to be vulnerable, and that is sometimes throws us so far out of our window of tolerance, right.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: It's so dysregulating, it's so triggering to share ourselves with other people and to risk judgment.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Because we do judge, we judge, because we do judge, we judge, and so it's like learning how to stand to I don't know take the risk to get the love, the acceptance, the support.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: The thing is, what's a life if you're not able to be fully vulnerable as well?
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: You know, because it's in in vulnerability is where the deep connections happen.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: It's where you can be authentic.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: It's where you can be authentic.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: It's where you can be in your heart space.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: It's where you can experience real deep love.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: You know everything happens in that space and so if you're in that, in protection all of your life, you know it's gonna be.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: It's gonna be it's gonna feel lonely, it's gonna feel you don't get those deep connections.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: It's gonna feel like you're having to support yourself all the time.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: That's not, that's going to be a hard life, and so that's so interesting.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: I would guess that what you just said I want to highlight it right, like I want to take out my big fat highlighter and highlight it that if we're not able to do vulnerability with other women, other people, that we're going to feel like we have to support ourselves all of our life.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: Because I think that women don't realize that that's connected, that we consider support as being someone to help me fold the clothes and drop off the kids and pay the bills and fix the toilet.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: We think of support in the sort of I don't know, dare I even call it transactional.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: But when we, when we connect the dots, that deep connection is what actually feels the most supportive and gives us the energy to tackle all the things.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: That's something I don't know that people realize no, I think that's right, and I think there's so many women who say I'm strong, I can do everything myself, I'm independent, and sort of wear it as a badge, but it, you know, it doesn't bring happiness.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: You know, really, we're meant to live in a tribe, we're meant to connect deeply with people where we're not meant to hold all of that pain inside and do it all ourselves.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: Well, and even just even doing the things we love, right?
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: I love doing what I do with you with.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: Coach Tiffany with Producer Joy.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: It's so much more fun to serve women in this tribe with you, ladies right, it's not nearly as fun to do it solo.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: So yes, we want to have our tribe to do the pain with.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: But also.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: I love my tribe for doing the cool shit, totally, totally.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: Awesome.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: What's next?
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: Many women struggle with the fear of investing in themselves after divorce, so what would you say to someone on the fence about joining the program a program like ours?
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: I would say you probably haven't looked after yourself for a long time.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: You probably haven't put yourself as focus for a long time, you know maybe ever.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's probably all about either your husband, husband or your family.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: This is a whole new way of being for you.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: And say, putting the intention out there and saying you know what I matter and I'm gonna allow myself to be looked after and I'm gonna allow this to be an easy process for me and I'm gonna allow myself to be supported, is such an immense thing and it transforms that whole process of what could be a really difficult scenario for you.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: You know, and I it's.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: It's interesting because when I've taken on these, done these group programs, um, something immense happens at the point.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: You know, each time I've done it, I've been like I don't know if I can afford this.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: Quite honestly, this is really stretching, this doesn't feel very comfortable.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: But as soon as I've done it and I've gone all in something shifts massively in me and you know, and I and I've never, ever regretted it, it's I've, you know, because what happens, you, you, you go on to a different trajectory, don't you?
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: Basically, you know, if you bumble along on your own, you kind of, you're kind of, you know going along like this, but you put yourself on.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: So a year later, after being on this program, you're like in a whole different place and it's just worth its weight in gold to not sit and struggle and try and manage everything on your own.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: It's so hard for people to believe that life unfolds based on our beliefs.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: And what is a belief other than a thought that we've rehearsed over and over and over again, right?
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: And so I know for me that every time I've invested or joined something or taken that leap of faith right, a leap of faith is that it's belief in something that I cannot yet see, but I'm trusting that it's going to be there.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: And when I live life from that belief system, things that I could never dream of right Start to unfold, and it is.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: It's very scary.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: It's very scary.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: It's like do I have enough money?
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: Do I have enough time?
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: Am.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: I enough.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: Are they going to like me?
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: Enough Am.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: I doing it right.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: Do I belong here?
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: You know, and that was a theme that really came up when, when we were working with you over the holidays right, this idea about belonging and how often many of us feel like we don't belong, many of us feel like we don't belong and then that subconsciously is driving our choices not to join, and then that reinforces and it's like wow, if I just take a leap of faith that I do belong and then I live into that, it will come.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: And in the coming of it, right is is where all those nooks and crannies of love and connection and support fill in and it, it's, it's, it's like it will feel uncomfortable at the beginning because it's it, it is, it's, it's like it will feel uncomfortable at the beginning because it's, it is.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: It's uncomfortable.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: It's meant to feel uncomfortable because it's you taking that leap and and it's in that risk that everything changes.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: You know, like life isn't supposed to be just doing the same old thing over and over.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: You know it's not.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: You're supposed to be in a space where you go.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I think I need?
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: I need to put it all out there.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: I need to try this you know, I think one of the reasons I've always well since since my divorce right, because I would say that pre-divorce I did not do vulnerability, like I did not and and it was sort of like in the getting divorced and feeling like I had failed that I sort of checked my ego at the door and was like I clearly don't have this.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: And so I think that in that moment where I was just like okay, I have to learn and I have to put myself in situations to learn.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: But there's also this other thing I said to my therapist at the time like, well, thank God you're in charge now, because I am not doing an adequate job here.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: But I think that there's probably something inside of me that when I join a group, I'm almost like turning over part of the responsibility, like I'm going to let this experience and this group carry the parts of me that feel like they can't right now.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: And I don't know it's worked for me.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: That may be coming from like I don't know, not like a straight, pure place, but I think that I've allowed myself to just get relief from the idea that when I didn't know, someone else would know yeah, and that's yeah, but also you're kind of, you know in that, in that, never showing any vulnerability, you're basically operating from a place of keeping everything quite controlled and you know, and as you step into that group scenario, it's kind of like a letting go, and as you let go, you know of the control like control, doesn't you we?
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: can't control everything produce abundance.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Control doesn't produce abundance absolutely so.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: So as we let down some of that type control and we just let ourselves be supported and let go a little bit and enjoy the ride, you know, that's where life happens.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: That's the joyful stuff yeah, it really is.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: And and that idea that abundance comes from letting go and the relationship between risk and reward right, it's like the bigger we can reach, the bigger we can receive.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, very cool.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: You want to do a little quantum work, a little quantum healing?
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: I don't like yeah, quantum play, let's do it.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: But so what we're going to do is, in a minute I'm going to ask everybody to focus on an issue, and I don't want don't think about your whole divorce, for example.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: Think of maybe, um you know how you feel about your ex, maybe, or um your guilt about your kids, or you know quite a specific issue, something that feels triggering at the moment.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: And then what happens is I am going to, I've muscle tested and um channeled and worked out exactly the commands that I need to give tonight for this group of people in order to to make some real shifts, to release what is holding people stuck in these particular areas.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: So, as I talk through these commands, people might feel some physical sensations in their bodies.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: They might find that big emotion comes up.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: It will be passing its way through, so don't worry too much, but you might find yourself prying, you might find you feel anger, all of these sort of things, um, you might find that old memories come in, because what we'll be doing is we'll be releasing these at it, at their very roots.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: So you'll probably find that the things that are triggering you in your divorce process you know if you're, if you're suddenly feeling very lonely or very rejected.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: They very likely things that you know stem back to your childhood, those, those old imprints, and so you might find that, as this goes through you're, you're taken back to a memory from where you felt quite rejected as a child and that will be all of the negative charge from that event being released and you might find that you feel sleepy.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: And you might find that you feel sleepy or you might find that, um, your brain goes very clear, okay, okay okay so very percolating over here okay.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: So if everybody wants to just close their eyes and close their eyes just because, then you can really be in touch with what's happening in your body and feel into all that comes up around this issue for you, and just bring an issue to mind and allow yourself to feel that as strongly as you can and as you feel into that, just notice what emotions are coming up and notice what thoughts coming up around it and notice too where you feel all of that in your body.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: And notice too where you feel all of that in your body, maybe in your chest or your stomach.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: Just notice where it feels tight or tense or hot, and just mentally give that response.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: The number out of 10, with 10 being it couldn't be any bigger, and we'll check in a little bit and see where things are Okay.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: So, superconscious, please treat the structure of all dissociation processes.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: Let me just allow a little bit of time between each command for the processing to work its way through.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Superconscious, please tag and treat all memories causing disorganization, disorganization.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: So we're going to just treat the decision making processes and all associated parts and beliefs and then do a massive change, history and everything else needed.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Superconscious, please treat the structure of predispositions and if barriers are encountered, please treat them and any associated traumas.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: After that, superconscious, please tag and treat all fear and resistance.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: And superconscious, please treat all programs that create unnecessary challenges.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, so, just keeping your eyes closed for a moment, just check in again on that original issue, see how things are now, see if you still feel the emotion in the same way or in the same place.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to take a little minute for that to integrate a little, and then I'm going to do another few commands and then we'll check in and see how everybody is there.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: So just notice at the moment what number you might give that out 10 for how big that response feels to you.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: And then let's go again.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: Super conscious, please treat the structure of all conflicts, judgments, resentments and blame.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: Superconscious, please treat the heart centre and repeat this procedure until there are no barriers to experiencing peace around this issue.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: Superconscious, please do a structure of associations procedure on guilt and treat all memories associated with holding on and resisting and then do a sentence procedure on I am grateful and at peace and then do a massive change, history and everything after that, and then do a massive change in history and everything after that.
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, so when you feel ready, just check in on all that comes up when you think of that original issue.
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: Just see what number you would give that out of 10.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: Now, how did you get on with that long dawn?
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: So, um, I mean, I'll tell you where I landed, right, which is, oh my goodness, we're live on instagram right now and I don't know how many people are watching.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: But because everything's energy, how much did we you, we us shift the collective energy on a people who have Instagram open right now?
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: I?
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: don't know we can't answer that question, but like, clearly I went from thinking about something stressful and triggering to thinking something so exciting and positive.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, that that's that's what I experienced.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: I did have a handful of like memories and associations come up, and I love it when you say things like and repeat until there's no whatever's left, because I'm like, oh, even when she's gone, I'm still at process.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Right, it will be, yeah, and I can still at process.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: Right, it will be.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I can see at one point your eyelids going yeah, that's so cool.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: I see that when I'm doing EMDR with people right, and I know you've seen that in EMDR too like you just see energy moving through the physical body.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: It's amazing, yeah, yeah it's pretty interesting because a client had a he's got one of those watches, that kind of measures what your body's doing, and she sent sent me the visual picture of her day yesterday and it was like stress, stress, stress, stress, stress, and then the hour that we've done the session, it was like complete relaxation.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: Literal peace.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: It's so interesting.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, because I just mentioned the EMDR piece.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: I think there's a fascinating history to quantum healing In the book.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: You turned me on to a theory of treatment of your personality.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: I have it on my desk there.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: I was just reading right that one of the people who originally tapped into quantum healing was an EMDR therapist and started using quantum healing to make EMDR a less dysregulating experience for his clients.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: Which am, I repeating that right?
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: And so that's so interesting, right?
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: Because when we're treating trauma and re-experiencing it is very, very stressful.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: And eventually, as he did more and more quantum healing, he sort of forewent EMDR.
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah completely yeah, and and just right so.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: So it's so interesting to combine all of these modalities, right?
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: it's very very cool but, yeah, yeah, it's an amazing package you're putting together, dawn.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: It really is.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: It's really special for anyone who's considering joining our program.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: You'll get to work with Kate in the program for over the course of a year, and it is a very, very cool experience.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: She also has created, kate.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: You've created some tracks for us that you can find in our premium podcast content.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: And we have found the women in our program have said that when they listen to the tracks over and over again and I think at least one or two of them have done it in their sleep and they really experienced a lot of shifts from listening to the same programs over and over again and I think you said, because it's able to penetrate a little deeper each time.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: Super cool, Kate.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: It is always such a joy to sit with you.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being your amazing self for being being on our team, for offering your connection and your wisdom with the world.
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: It's it's just such a joy to know you and be with you.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: Thank you well back at you dawn all right, talk soon, be well thank you okay bye.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: Dear Divorce Diary is a podcast by my coach John.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: You can find more at mycoachjohncom.