Latest / Johnjay & Rich On Demand / Who TF is LISA CHEESE?!?

Transcript

Who TF is LISA CHEESE?!? · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Wake your ass up, fool. John Jay and Rich.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: What's crackin' like?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: And this is the big boss dog, Snoopy Deagle Double Jizzle. Bang, boom,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: what you gonna do?
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: John Jay and Rich. We're not talking about Ren 1010.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: We're not talking about Lassie.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: It's the one and only dog, y'all.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: The classy, sassy, big Snoopy Deagle Double Jizzle.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: In your face to be and in the place to be.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: And you're listening to John Jay and Rich. Wake your
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: ass up. Rich, today is National what?
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: It is National Great American Pot Pie Day. Ooh, that
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: is my favorite of all the things is a good
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: chicken pot pie next to a shepherd's pie. National Snack
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: Stick Day, basically permission to eat Slim Jim meat sticks
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: at 7 a.m. Created in 2016 by Clements Sausage Company.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: It's also, John Jay, you and me both are big
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: members of this. It is Restless Leg Awareness Day.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: That's the most uncomfortable thing ever. I get RLS sometimes, too.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, that's a bummer.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I do not. But sitting next to John Jay, who
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: has it very bad during a, what was that, eight-hour
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: music event, was brutal.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Because my whole chair was shaking the whole time.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: I've had strangers tell me to turn around in front
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: at a game or a sporting event and tell me,
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: would you mind stopping?
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. It's terrible.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Did you know in Chinese culture, I had an acupuncture
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: because I got acupuncture for my leg and I had
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: the restless leg moving like, and they said in Chinese culture,
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: that means that you're chasing money away from you.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: So try to be still. Stop it.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: So there you go. All right. It's also Go With
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Your Gut Day and National Apple Cider Vinegar Day, which
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: gives us an excuse to discuss the approximately nine billion
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: things the Internet claims apple cider vinegar fixes. And I
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: don't know about fixing any of those. And lastly, Celebrate
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Bisexuality Day.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: All right. Well, I have something to tell you.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: Listen to this. A couple of days ago, I posted
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: this text. My wife sent my son Dutch. Right, because
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: my youngest son, Dutch, is a sophomore at the University
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: of Arizona. And he's been spending money on her Venmo.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: She has a Venmo. I don't have a Venmo.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: My wife has Venmo. And spending money. And she saw
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: that his account was empty, so she gave him $ 100.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: And in the text message, you can see it because
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: it was pretty big.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: She's pretty much telling him off, right? I saw Peyton
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: made a comment.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I told him because she was like, no alcohol,
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: no weed.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: And I was like, well, I got you, so.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: No leap the lines. That was a big one. I
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: keep getting messaged about what leap the lines is. You
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: know what leap the line is?
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just like when you pay to get to
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: the front of the bar. But like, yeah, you wouldn't
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: catch me dead doing that. I would never do that either.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I'm surprised he does that.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: I would never.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: So the mystery continues because let me tell you what
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: happened after that. The text change continues and there's a
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: picture of a Venmo of $ 20 paid to a woman
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: named Lisa Cheese.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Lisa Cheese. Lisa Cheese. Did you see this, Kyle? I did.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Do you know who Lisa Cheese is? I do not know.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: She's someone famous. I just thought it was like a
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: girl at school. Paying $ 20 to a girl at school.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Lisa Cheese. Sounds right about the price for an eighth.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Then she goes, my brain is going, that's who his
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: dealer is. That's who he's buying stuff from. The next
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: one is somebody named Leon Gwynn. $ 10 to Leon Gwynn.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: So my wife, I left here and I'm driving home.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: My wife, she says to Dutch on the thread, who
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: is this? And he goes, I don't know who that is.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: And so my wife gets a call through when I'm leaving.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: We need to talk about Dutch. And then she's like,
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: who are these people he's spending money with? And I'm like,
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: is it, you know, was he buying some stuff illegally?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Is it his plug?
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: She says, do you think he's paying for sex? And
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: I'm like, well, first of all. I don't think he
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: has to pay for sex because I think he's got
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: a lot of, he's got a lot of swag.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Second of all, is it $ 20 to pay for sex?
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: He's vending $ 20. Maybe he had a coupon.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: I was thinking that sounded like a little too affordable.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: Unless he's like going and like getting like massages and
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: he's tipping after.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: For $ 20.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: $ 20 tip for a little.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: So now here's what I'm thinking. Now, again, I don't know.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: We're just two parents, naive, having a conversation.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: She's worried about our son. Yeah.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: So she's like, what's the $ 20 for? What's the $ 10?
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: And I'm thinking, and I don't know how this works.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Is it paying for the morning after pill?
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know. No, that's very expensive.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: That's like 50 bucks.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: 50 bucks for the morning after pill?
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: So I'm just like, I don't know, Blake. So I'm driving.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: I'm in the car driving and she's like frantic about
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Lisa Cheese. And I'm like, what kind of name is
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: Lisa Cheese? Fake one.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, so I'm Googling. I'm at a red light.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: I Google Lisa Cheese. I can't find it.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: I go on Instagram, Lisa Cheese.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I can't find it.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: I'm looking for Lisa Cheese. So I said, Blake, I
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: don't have Venmo. I go, so go to the Venmo.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: When did it happen? And she's like, yesterday. Now, if
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: you guys remember, that day was also the day that
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: she called 911 because she thought there was a gas
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: leak in the house.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: So she's already fired up.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So I go, when did it happen? She's like, yesterday.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, and I'm trying to think about how
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: it happened. Okay, so that was going on in our life.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: I don't know what Dutch was doing when the fire
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: department came. Well, long story short, she all of a
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: sudden goes, oh, my God, I know who Lisa Cheese is. Who?
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: I tipped her $ 20 because she gave me a pedicure.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: What?
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Why Lisa Cheese? The whole time it was Blake?
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: It was Blake Venmoing the lady that gave her a pedicure.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: And guess what?
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: Leon Gwynn, who she gave $ 10 to, is the guy
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: that did her manicure. The whole time, Dutch just messaged me.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Dutch is like, Dad, I don't know who Lisa Cheese is.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: I don't know who Lisa, and I'm like, I know
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: who it is now. And I'm like, you're going to
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: die when I tell you who Lisa cheese is. You're
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: going to die.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Dutch catching all these strays. Absolutely.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: Like people are, I think your dad paid start for
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: hashtag free Dutch.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: So.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Our whole brain went to he's dealing drugs, he's buying drugs,
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: he's paying for sex, he's buying the after pill, and
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: it was all my wife.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Doing the thing that she should be doing for you,
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: getting a great pedicure.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: Honestly, though, a $ 20 tip on a pedicure is very generous.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, that must have been.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: A really good pedicure.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Or it was an expensive pedicure.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: Also, I think you would pay, like, when you pay
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: at the end, you just do one tip.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Like, she's Venmoing them individually. I think you tip them separately.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: I didn't know, because I've gone before, and I just...
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: Just do the whole, you pay and you just go
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: do your thing.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Venmo and he's just, I don't know. I'm not a
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: Venmo person. Anyway, the thing is, so far at this juncture,
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: I think I got a good kid.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: So far. So far. He might have a gambling problem.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: That didn't come up. That's something else. He might be
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: owed an apology.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: I don't trust anybody with no vices.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: He might be owed an apology, but he doesn't know
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: that Blake and I had that conversation. Blake just said,
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: who's this?
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Just let him feel the heat for a little bit.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: You know how you hear those stories about the police
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: beating down somebody that's innocent until they finally confess?
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: Dutch at one point said that the Leon Gwynn was
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: the guy from the pro shop at the golf course. Like,
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Dutch is like, it's the guy from the pro shop.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: I must have been more than 10. Like, he's admitting
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: to it, and he has no idea. But he didn't
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: do it.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: He didn't do it.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: He didn't do it.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: And this is for $ 10. Imagine if you're accused of murder,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: and they're just beating you down.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: With a flashlight for 12 hours. Anyway, there you go.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: You can see it on my Instagram, the whole story
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: of John J.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Van S.