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Are You an Order Muppet or a Chaos Muppet? · You're Not Too Much

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  Are you an
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  order
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  Muppet or a chaos Muppet?
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  if beaker's involved, shit is gonna end up on fire.
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  And Every person is either an order muppet
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  or a chaos muppet.
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  so obviously
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  I work in mental health.
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  I run a mental health company.
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  I have spent a lot of time around incredible clinicians who have taught me.
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  Lots of really amazing things about relationship dynamics and how people
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  interact with each other and how they work together, and how communication works best
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  and what
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  types of personalities tend
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  do
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  well together, et cetera, et cetera.
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  Like
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  all of that is, kind of germane to being in this field
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  and I
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  Have never found a theory more accurate or more appropriate.
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  That helps me describe almost any
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  pair
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  of people quite like this one, which relies on a lot of.
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  understanding of relationship dynamics, that we're.
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  kind
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  crafted
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  by the greatest relationship philosopher of our time.
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  Jim Henson
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  It was an article in, I
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  wanna say slate
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  in
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  2013,
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  That still guides pretty much
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  everything.
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  Not everything,
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  but a lot of
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  how I understand relationship dynamics.
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  It
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  is an article called
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  Chaos Theory,
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  A Unified Theory of Muppet Types,
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  and it sorts everybody into one
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  of two camps.
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  Are you an
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  order
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  Muppet or a chaos Muppet?
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  Every
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  Muppet
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  Has their
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  counterbalance in the Muppet universe.
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  Whether they're order
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  chaos that balances
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  out their order or their chaos.
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  Ms. Piggy has Kermit
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  Ms. Piggy,
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  definitely the Chaos.
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  Muppet Kermit
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  Order.
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  Muppet Kermit tries
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  keep
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  things calm until he eventually loses his shit
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  Usually at the hands of Miss
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  Pig.
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  Miss Piggy has no interest in calm, no interest in order, and together they
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  balance each other.
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  Same thing with buns and beaker, Bunsen, calm, scientific,
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  great
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  mind
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  brain's so big.
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  he's bold.
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  Beaker is so chaotic.
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  he can't
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  even speak an established language.
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  He's all meeps and moops.
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  It may be an established language that I'm not familiar with.
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  You're right, that's shortsighted.
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  I should give him more credit than that.
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  But if beaker's involved, shit is gonna end up on fire.
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  And
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  And it's rarely a bun's
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  fault,
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  but
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  they need each other.
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  Abundance needs a beaker and a beaker needs a,
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  We
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  can look at our old pals.
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  Umbert
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  and Ernie, public television's, first out gay couple.
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  but you
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  know
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  that Bert
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  Iron Irons, his underwear, you know, he does.
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  if you got the
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  reference,
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  get at
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  me where the reference is from.
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  You know, besties.
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  If you got that reference and Ernie has probably never done laundry in his life.
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  He's wearing the same shirt.
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  They
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  They
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  need each other.
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  This is not just a theory of Muppets.
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  Your life is probably
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  guided by Muppet Chaos Theory in my house.
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  I am the Order Muppet.
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  My husband is unmitigated
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  chaos.
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  Muppet,
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  my
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  husband has never met a plan
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  he could
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  tolerate.
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  I
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  am like all plans.
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  I'm only plans.
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  That gives me an idea.
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  I'm gonna walk.
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  I'm gonna walk away from
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  I'm gonna walk
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  away from that, but I'm gonna come back to it later.
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  I'm gonna come back to it later.
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  Okay.
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  I'm just saying.
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  I'm just saying
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  a
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  service to watch
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  people build spreadsheets and call it only plans.
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  Anyway, that just came to me.
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  Trademark.
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  I'm trademarking that step
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  away.
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  Internet.
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  Anyway,
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  My husband is all chaos.
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  He only has chaos.
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  It's all he is capable of.
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  we balance each other mostly, sometimes, occasionally.
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  if I look at my brother and my sister-in-law,
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  he
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  is all chaos Muppet.
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  He is only chaos Muppet.
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  She is all order Muppet.
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  That's all.
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  She's got all order.
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  Sometimes a chaos muppet can become an order Muppet often when order muppets
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  get pushed to the brink of insanity and become full chaos muppets by just
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  like going full.
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  angry Kermit and smashing things with flailing
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  puppet arms.
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  That does happen, but it usually requires a
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  catalyst.
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  Every person is either an order muppet
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  or a chaos muppet.
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  once you start
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  understanding this, your understanding of relationship dynamics will change.
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  Fundamentally,
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  it's so important.
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  This is how I judge all
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  relationships.
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  My children, I have one order Muppet and one chaos
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  mpe.
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  my oldest, full
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  order Muppet.
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  she can't go to sleep unless things are organized and straight on her desk.
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  My
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  youngest
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  only
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  chaos Muppet, she does not give a shit where anything is.
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  Mm-hmm.
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  Nothing bothers her.
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  She will sleep on top of mess.
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  She does not care.
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  She doesn't care.
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  Whereas my oldest is like,
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  something is outta place.
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  Everything's gonna burn down.
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  It's
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  not gonna burn down.
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  No.
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  I mean,
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  Probably not, probably not gonna burn down.
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  Probably not.
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  Anyway, it's been what,
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  13
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  years and I still use this as the guidepost for all
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  things relationship dynamics.
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  So I encourage you to go read the article,
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  Which is at this point literature,
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  like, it's history.
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  It's
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  an important part of our zeitgeist.
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  we must accept it as
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  a philosophical tome.
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  But tell me if you
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  are an Order Muppet or a Chaos Muppet, and then look at the people around you and
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  find me one
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  person who doesn't fit.
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  Find me one.
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  I I bet you can.
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  I bet you can.
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  it
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  is the way that I judge all relationships in my existence despite
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  being around people who can give me
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  in theory, better
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  ways to assess relationships.
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  None of them hold up this one does.
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  This one is the best guide by which you can judge all
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  relationships, and I stand by that.
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  And now we'll go to Allison who has this week's small talk.
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  Hi L two.
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  I've been listening for a few months and keep pausing episodes
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  because it feels like you're talking directly to me, which is unsettling,
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  but also kind of comforting.
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  I'm realizing how much I mask at work, especially in meetings.
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  I come home absolutely wiped and still feel like I didn't do enough.
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  How do you start unpacking masking when it's basically become your personality?
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  Okay, so the first thing is that that a lot, like,
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  a lot, like almost daily, that people say that
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  don't know how I knew they needed to hear something or something like
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  that.
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  I didn't know, but I know what I needed to hear at some point.
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  And the whole premise kind of
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  of all of this is that.
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  I got
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  this place in my life thinking that things were just me.
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  And it wasn't until I started talking about them that I
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  realized that there were other
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  in almost identically the same
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  situation.
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  so point didn't know you needed
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  hear it.
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  I didn't know that anybody needed to hear it.
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  It's what I needed to hear at some point.
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  And the only
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  compass I have reference.
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  So
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  I, glad
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  that is working out for you and that you're getting what you need out of it.
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  And also, I'm sorry.
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  'cause I know sometimes
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  it
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  like you're being personally attacked and I don't mean to, I apologize.
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  the question which is how to, you know, figure out when you're
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  masking and when you're not.
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  so masking is frequently a function of neurodivergence, and it's how
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  a people who identify as neurodivergent or don't realize they're neurodivergent, make
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  themselves quote unquote, normal enough to
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  in neurotypical environment.
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  Normal exist.
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  Normal's bullshit.
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  It's
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  a
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  non-existent standard, but it's the
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  that, that people use to put themselves through that.
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  so that's,
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  you know, a real thing, that's valid thing.
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  it's not only neuro divergent people who have to shrink to fit
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  or change their personality to
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  try to make friends or, or
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  fit in.
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  I think that be a very universal experience.
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  and it is really
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  easy to forget
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  are in those environments
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  to actually are.
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  in some cases you've been doing
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  the years
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  your life you're not sure who you are.
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  there's no right way to do that
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  except to start taking a
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  back and
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  clocking what feels
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  and what doesn't.
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  What feels
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  something you want to do and what feels like something you don't want to do.
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  Does that
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  just stop doing all the things you don't
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  wanna do?
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  No, of
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  of those like be done.
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  Like, can't think of people who are like, I'm so excited to
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  at five o'clock in the morning and
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  go to today.
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  That doesn't
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  great a lot of people, but you still have to if you have to pay bills.
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  can't think of anybody who's like, man, the DMV sounds great,
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  you still need a so you still have go do it.
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  But are there ways to make it more comfortable?
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  Are there ways to.
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  Adapt so that you care less about what the people around you think
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  and more about what makes you comfortable in that situation.
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  So some examples
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  like you to ride the train
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  work every day.
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  And
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  because
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  are other people around you know, you
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  make sure that you
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  are dressed professionally and that you're wearing uncomfortable shoes
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  because they nice with your outfit.
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  And
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  you don't take a seat if there's else around who needs the seat or whatever.
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  There's all
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  things that you do
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  to be socially
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  in that situation.
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  And should you take From the elderly and infirm, not.
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  Please give them chair.
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  But
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  also.
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  is it okay to
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  down once in a
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  a while
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  you are tired too?
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  And if there's a chair available and
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  you know you're not sure it's an
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  to somebody,
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  but else going for take the seat.
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  been plenty of situations where I've been in
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  something like that where I'm like, it would more convenient for me do thing,
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  but I'm worried about inconveniencing
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  strangers
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  who are not a problem, so I'm not that thing.
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  And you can make a decision that the that you in that situation, you are gonna do.
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  Don't listen to your music on speaker, your headphones in.
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  But also like if the noise on the train bothers you
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  and
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  overstimulated
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  you're on the train, you can get earplugs even if you think that's gonna
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  rude to the people around who
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  you would normally interact with
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  because that's way you were taught.
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  You can get earplugs, you ignore people, you can read a book, you can to podcast.
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  You can all of
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  things that sometimes don't do in semi-public environments
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  because they feel like it's,
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  you know,
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  or inappropriate or whatever.
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  so it's really about, not about very
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  who you are and who you are not or even who wanna
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  because that's a question that's probably a little far away from you at this point.
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  But what good to my What gives anxiety?
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  tamps down my anxiety?
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  What makes
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  feel chaotic?
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  What makes feel like I'm in control of chaos?
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  How do I limit my stress?
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  Whatever,
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  and just leaning
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  that.
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  And
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  are times where
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  I am certain doing something way is
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  way I wanna it.
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  And in actual,
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  practice.
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  I hate it.
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  And I don't wanna do it that way, even though I think
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  that's the way I wanna do it.
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  so be ready to find out new
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  about yourself because you might not, I mean, if you've doing this since you were
• 12:53
  were 13,
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  15, especially for women, 'cause that's actually even earlier than that, that's
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  when we tend to assimilate into groups because girls tend to be more sensitive
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  social pressures than, boys are.
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  And, whole nother story
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  don't identify as either, because there's a, there's a whole beast there about
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  assimilation to norms when you don't as but people who do not identify as male,
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  put that way,
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  tend to to the
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  in their life where they start looking into either neurodivergence or
• 13:27
  a diagnosis or even of just decide like.
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  don't like the way that their life is going and, the way they taught to
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  act and engage with people, and they want to find
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  they actually are in those things.
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  Sometimes
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  see this as of You see it when people get out bad relationships.
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  You see it when people move from one environment another and have to
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  start figuring out who are and how
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  are.
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  and so about listening
• 13:56
  your body, which may have never done before, your brain, anxiety,
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  your sensory overload, and going
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  there.
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  there.
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  Thanks for being here guys.
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  Have a good day.
• 14:05
  Love you meeting