Latest / Armstrong & Getty One More Thing / But Now I Smell Like a Corpse
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: But now I smell like a corpse. Well you should
- 0:02Speaker 1: have thought of that first. It's one more thing.
- 0:05Speaker 2: I'm strong, and one more thing. Yeah, it's a smell
- 0:11Speaker 2: like a corpse.
- 0:11Speaker 1: We actually had a little bit of this on the
- 0:13Speaker 1: Armstrong and Getty radio show yesterday when Joe was telling
- 0:16Speaker 1: us about the Brazilian butt lift, which is what is that.
- 0:20Speaker 2: You like, take fat from one part of your body
- 0:23Speaker 2: and inject it into your butt to make it like
- 0:25Speaker 2: bigger and puffier and higher and stuff. Katie making a
- 0:29Speaker 2: my god, humanity. Yeah, yeah, is have I interpreted your
- 0:33Speaker 2: facial You nailed it.
- 0:35Speaker 1: You nailed it. And then sometimes the the stuff dies
- 0:38Speaker 1: on you and you smell like, well, you smell like
- 0:39Speaker 1: a dead body because you're declaying, decaying flesh you're carrying.
- 0:42Speaker 1: If you will, you will have you will have buzzards
- 0:44Speaker 1: circling your head.
- 0:45Speaker 3: I think I think my algorithm is listening to us too,
- 0:48Speaker 3: by the way, because I logged into Instagram yesterday and
- 0:51Speaker 3: was horrified at a bbl oozing video that just designed
- 0:56Speaker 3: to the Yeah, it was right, it was.
- 1:02Speaker 2: The last thing ever.
- 1:03Speaker 1: But on that sort of topic, I know, I'm sorry.
- 1:06Speaker 2: Before we get to that sort of topic, I just
- 1:08Speaker 2: quick mention we barely scratch the surface of that New
- 1:12Speaker 2: York Times report. I was talking about your smart devices
- 1:16Speaker 2: are always listening to you and watching you, and I
- 1:20Speaker 2: mean your doorbell is collecting data on you.
- 1:23Speaker 1: But so it's not at all crazy to think that
- 1:26Speaker 1: her phone or computer or something hurt us. Talking about this,
- 1:30Speaker 1: and the Instagram feed then had information about m correct. Yeah,
- 1:33Speaker 1: so that that actually is happening as far as you
- 1:35Speaker 1: can tell, Yeah, in one way or another. Yeah, sure
- 1:37Speaker 1: seems to be happening.
- 1:39Speaker 3: I mean, there was zero reason for that to show
- 1:41Speaker 3: up on my feed yesterday.
- 1:42Speaker 1: And we've all had that experience where like, why did
- 1:45Speaker 1: I just get an ad for a vacation to someplace
- 1:48Speaker 1: I mentioned to a friend but have never googled in
- 1:50Speaker 1: my wife? Yeah, yeah, that sort of thing. So this
- 1:54Speaker 1: is I'm a plastic surgeon. I'm one of the top
- 1:57Speaker 1: plastic surgeons, and I'd never get these five procedures. And
- 2:01Speaker 1: it lists five of your changing the way you look
- 2:04Speaker 1: procedures that you shouldn't get. I mentioned recently on the show,
- 2:07Speaker 1: is at least contemplating a chintuck because I think it
- 2:09Speaker 1: would make me look quite a bit younger and I
- 2:12Speaker 1: am a single man, so you know, although my son
- 2:15Speaker 1: said he would mock me for the rest of my
- 2:17Speaker 1: life if I did that, as would my entire family.
- 2:20Speaker 2: So in your entire staff. See, they would mock you.
- 2:25Speaker 1: Now I would look better, I know, I would look better.
- 2:28Speaker 3: They'd mock you until they're of the age where they're
- 2:31Speaker 3: considering getting a check.
- 2:32Speaker 1: Yeah, we get a little of the turkey neck going yeah, yeah,
- 2:36Speaker 1: all right, here are things you don't want to do,
- 2:38Speaker 1: according to this doctor. Liquid and I'd never heard of
- 2:40Speaker 1: many of these liquid nose jobs. This is when they
- 2:45Speaker 1: inject various liquid in your nose to like give you
- 2:47Speaker 1: more symmetry, like if your nose is not perfectly symmetrical,
- 2:51Speaker 1: or if you got a bump or downturned tip or
- 2:54Speaker 1: various things, they can even out your nose by injecting
- 2:57Speaker 1: stuff in there. The problem is that it can kill
- 3:02Speaker 1: the skin, known as necrosis, which you were talking about
- 3:05Speaker 1: yesterday with the Brazilian butt lift. And then you smell
- 3:08Speaker 1: like decaying flesh because that's what you have on your face,
- 3:11Speaker 1: decaying flesh, and it's it can cause you know, your
- 3:16Speaker 1: nose to have a worse shape, and it's very, very
- 3:18Speaker 1: hard to fix air, and it will never quite look
- 3:22Speaker 1: and function the same, the function being breathing, So you
- 3:26Speaker 1: hate to have that to go that and holding up
- 3:28Speaker 1: your glasses. You hate to have that function go away smelling. Yeah, yes,
- 3:33Speaker 1: that's true, that's true. I'd never heard of this one before.
- 3:37Speaker 1: I depigmentation. Born with blue eyes and wish you had green.
- 3:44Speaker 1: They inject pigments into your eyes to make them a
- 3:47Speaker 1: different color. Yeah, apparently this goes wrong a lot, and
- 3:53Speaker 1: it says one of the possible complications is blindness. Oh
- 3:57Speaker 1: you think that is a possible complication.
- 4:00Speaker 2: That's that ought to be at the top of the list.
- 4:02Speaker 1: There, doctor.
- 4:03Speaker 3: I was thinking diarrhea, but I thought that makes.
- 4:06Speaker 2: Diarrhea and blindness, Joe, those are possible. As you say, diarrhea,
- 4:10Speaker 2: no matter what I figured.
- 4:11Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't see my way to the toilet and
- 4:13Speaker 1: I need to go right now.
- 4:15Speaker 2: Oh my, how unfortunate. Perhaps you shouldn't have gotten a
- 4:20Speaker 2: I repigmented.
- 4:23Speaker 1: And this doctor says, I'd suggest just sticking with colored contacts.
- 4:26Speaker 1: Who has blue eyes and wants to change him as
- 4:28Speaker 1: a blue eyed guy person? I mean, you want You're
- 4:30Speaker 1: willing to get needles in the eyes because you wish
- 4:32Speaker 1: you didn't have whatever, Katie.
- 4:35Speaker 2: When I was a kid, I had beautiful hazel eyes.
- 4:38Speaker 2: They were green and brown. Oh, but just turned brown
- 4:43Speaker 2: as I aged. Imagine my disappointment.
- 4:45Speaker 3: I'm sure what age do you think that you noticed
- 4:47Speaker 3: they were no longer hazel?
- 4:50Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I don't remember. I think somebody may have
- 4:52Speaker 2: pointed it out to me.
- 4:53Speaker 1: And think of how it's affected your life.
- 4:55Speaker 2: Oh, I could have been all sorts of better things
- 4:57Speaker 2: than I am right now. Stuff. My wife won't hear it,
- 5:03Speaker 2: so I won't make the inevitable joke. But I could
- 5:05Speaker 2: have been married to a supermodel, which clearly would have
- 5:09Speaker 2: made your life better. Oh, absolutely, judging by what I've seen.
- 5:12Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's the way to be happy. Marry some
- 5:15Speaker 2: crazy hot chick who lives for her looks.
- 5:18Speaker 1: Yes, yes, who probably has had bucle fat removal. That's
- 5:22Speaker 1: a procedure in which they the fat pads, because we
- 5:26Speaker 1: all have them. The fat pads are removed from your
- 5:30Speaker 1: cheeks to create a slimmer appearance and accentuate your cheekbone.
- 5:33Speaker 1: So these right here on your cheeks, everybody. It's part
- 5:36Speaker 1: of the way we're structured.
- 5:38Speaker 2: I need to get rid of mine. Yeah, I got
- 5:39Speaker 2: chubby cheeks. I always have since I was a kid.
- 5:41Speaker 1: Well, they can come in different sizes, but we all
- 5:43Speaker 1: have them. It's just, you know, for.
- 5:46Speaker 2: Whatever reason, I'm getting mine yank this afternoon. Wait a minute,
- 5:49Speaker 2: this guy says, don't yeah, can lead to diarrhea and cheeklessness.
- 5:57Speaker 1: Uh, it just can make you look funny and there's
- 5:59Speaker 1: no fixing it. So it goes wrong a lot, as
- 6:01Speaker 1: basically as.
- 6:02Speaker 3: All of these things can make you look funny.
- 6:04Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 6:05Speaker 1: True.
- 6:08Speaker 2: I guess the new trend I was reading about this
- 6:10Speaker 2: un till I thought, what the hell are you reading
- 6:12Speaker 2: about this? The new trend in the Kardashians are blazing
- 6:15Speaker 2: away is being honest about plastic surgery, saying yeah, I
- 6:18Speaker 2: got the such and such lyft from this doctor and
- 6:21Speaker 2: it's great. Don't I look fantastic. It's the era of
- 6:26Speaker 2: full disclosure.
- 6:27Speaker 3: They're doing that because they've been lying about it for
- 6:31Speaker 3: years and taking all the hell for it.
- 6:34Speaker 2: Ah.
- 6:34Speaker 1: Okay, it's an interesting thing. So I doubt that I
- 6:37Speaker 1: would actually do this, but if I got a chintok,
- 6:40Speaker 1: I would look better. And if you can make yourself
- 6:44Speaker 1: look better with very little risk, why wouldn't you do
- 6:48Speaker 1: it because vanity is a sin of some sort or
- 6:52Speaker 1: but we do all kinds of other things. I mean,
- 6:54Speaker 1: I'm wearing a suit right now to look better. I
- 6:56Speaker 1: work out every day to work better to look better.
- 6:59Speaker 1: There's all kinds of thing things we do to look
- 7:00Speaker 1: better that we accept societally, but getting carved on, which
- 7:05Speaker 1: I have mocked my whole life. People who do this
- 7:08Speaker 1: also we look down on, maybe because that's purely vanity
- 7:14Speaker 1: in a way that dressing nicely and going to the
- 7:17Speaker 1: gym is not. And I also think it has to
- 7:20Speaker 1: do with like twentieth century Protestant values, and there are
- 7:24Speaker 1: quite a few of them we can name that are
- 7:27Speaker 1: starting to fade somewhat or substantially, and people think more
- 7:33Speaker 1: like you look, if I can afford it, I will
- 7:35Speaker 1: look better, I will be happier.
- 7:37Speaker 2: I'm doing it. Yeah, Well, I can't say you're necessarily wrong.
- 7:43Speaker 1: Well we're old, Katie. I don't know if you've noticed this,
- 7:44Speaker 1: but so we've seen this change in our lifetime. Are
- 7:47Speaker 1: you actually blonde? Oh yeah, you are actually bond Okay,
- 7:50Speaker 1: Well it's a bad example, but it used to be
- 7:54Speaker 1: culturally not cool to dye your hair. You'd get mocked. Oh,
- 7:57Speaker 1: she's a bottle blonde. Nobody would say that at now,
- 8:01Speaker 1: and and and and most people. You know, you get
- 8:03Speaker 1: over the age of forty five fifteen, you start to
- 8:04Speaker 1: have gray hair as a woman, You diet, and every
- 8:07Speaker 1: that's perfectly accepted so and should be.
- 8:11Speaker 2: Uh.
- 8:12Speaker 1: But I wonder if, like you know, the chintuk will
- 8:15Speaker 1: go that direction too, where it goes from being looked
- 8:18Speaker 1: down upon, mock to just course you did I don't know,
- 8:22Speaker 1: maybe a couple of the other ones you shouldn't get done.
- 8:24Speaker 1: To wrap this up, browlifts said, it's perfectly fine in
- 8:29Speaker 1: the hands of an expert surgeon, an extremely skilled surgeon.
- 8:34Speaker 1: Otherwise you don't want to get it done. I'm not
- 8:36Speaker 1: you'll have that permanently surprised look. Hey, hey, is this
- 8:41Speaker 1: place on fire?
- 8:42Speaker 2: Oh?
- 8:42Speaker 3: Could you imagine you having a brow lift and fixing
- 8:44Speaker 3: your RBF in the same week.
- 8:47Speaker 2: You'd be watching everybody.
- 8:56Speaker 1: That is the concern with some of these I don't know,
- 8:59Speaker 1: could a chin talks have been around for so long,
- 9:02Speaker 1: there's gotta be tons of surgeons that can do them,
- 9:04Speaker 1: and you're like almost guaranteed you're gonna be perfectly fine.
- 9:08Speaker 1: But some of these you'd really hate to have to
- 9:11Speaker 1: come into work with a big giant lump on the
- 9:13Speaker 1: side of your nose that never existed before and you
- 9:15Speaker 1: can't get rid of now because you went all vanity.
- 9:19Speaker 2: Well, then you got to go jacko. You gotta have
- 9:21Speaker 2: surgery to fix that surgery, then some to fix that surgery,
- 9:24Speaker 2: and before you know it looking like a freak.
- 9:28Speaker 1: Absolute freak. And cool sculpting, which is fairly popular. It's
- 9:33Speaker 1: a designed to target fat. It just says here it
- 9:36Speaker 1: does it with acid. They use acid to break down
- 9:40Speaker 1: the fat. That's what's whoever came up with the name
- 9:43Speaker 1: cool sculpting good idea, because that sounds fantastic. Then when
- 9:47Speaker 1: you tell me what it is, We're gonna inject acid
- 9:49Speaker 1: into you that's gonna eat away the fat, it doesn't
- 9:52Speaker 1: sound as well cool.
- 9:55Speaker 2: But I never heard of that, kittie. Are you familiar
- 9:57Speaker 2: with cool sculpting or yeah?
- 9:59Speaker 3: I am, And I actually have a friend that did
- 10:01Speaker 3: it and said it hurt like hell, but you know,
- 10:05Speaker 3: you saw some results.
- 10:06Speaker 1: I've heard about it a lot. I just didn't know
- 10:08Speaker 1: what it was. And now that I've read about it, well,
- 10:10Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna do it anyway. But it can go
- 10:13Speaker 1: wrong too, And they said, save your money and do
- 10:16Speaker 1: LiPo suction if you're going to do one of those
- 10:17Speaker 1: LiPo sections smarter than.
- 10:19Speaker 2: Which is reputed to be, you know, one of the
- 10:22Speaker 2: more dangerous procedures itself because the danger of infection, but
- 10:26Speaker 2: also incredibly common.
- 10:29Speaker 1: LiPo section is incredibly common.
- 10:30Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, that's the most common cosmetic procedure. Number two,
- 10:36Speaker 2: breast enhancement. It was just reading, since I read all
- 10:39Speaker 2: day long about everything that much smaller, more athletic breasts
- 10:43Speaker 2: are in the big old boobs. No longer hot plastic.
- 10:47Speaker 2: Surgeon's going for the nice mid size models. That's a Corolla,
- 10:51Speaker 2: not an escalade. That's another one that's gone Corollas. That's
- 10:56Speaker 2: another one that's gone pretty mainstream, hasn't. A boob job
- 10:59Speaker 2: was really out there as a certain sort of person
- 11:02Speaker 2: decades ago, and now it's quite common, especially for moms.
- 11:06Speaker 1: I think, yeah, yeah, and you're not gonna get mocked.
- 11:11Speaker 1: I don't think no, no, no, I don't.
- 11:14Speaker 2: I don't think so, not at all. No. I mean
- 11:16Speaker 2: if you go with like giant porn boobs or something.
- 11:20Speaker 1: Like that, then well that makes you a weird I
- 11:22Speaker 1: think twice well that makes the thing would be, can
- 11:26Speaker 1: you stop at one of these? Because I I know,
- 11:29Speaker 1: I mean, I can use my fingers, I can hold
- 11:31Speaker 1: back my chin and look in the mirror like that,
- 11:32Speaker 1: I look, I look younger and better.
- 11:35Speaker 2: Thought about this a good deal, But do it? Just
- 11:38Speaker 2: do it?
- 11:39Speaker 1: I know it'd be good for the show. That's another thing.
- 11:41Speaker 1: I thought it'd be a good thing to talk about
- 11:43Speaker 1: leading up to it. I could almost certainly get it
- 11:44Speaker 1: paid for by some doctor and you know, talk about
- 11:47Speaker 1: it there or whatever. Yeah, it'd be great. You got
- 11:51Speaker 1: to go for it. But can you stop at one
- 11:54Speaker 1: or that's what I wonder, if you just don't open
- 11:58Speaker 1: the floodgates of well this could be tweaked a little
- 12:00Speaker 1: bit or five years later you want to get it again,
- 12:02Speaker 1: because that's what happens.
- 12:04Speaker 2: We didn't.
- 12:04Speaker 1: None of us notice Kenny Rodgers or Dolly Parton or
- 12:07Speaker 1: any of those people the first one or two times
- 12:10Speaker 1: have got anything done. They just look good for their age,
- 12:14Speaker 1: I think. And then usually you start to look like
- 12:17Speaker 1: very Manlow or any of these freaks. I mean, you
- 12:21Speaker 1: look like a freak, like a circle, like, hey charge
- 12:25Speaker 1: a dollar to look at this guy?
- 12:27Speaker 2: Freak right right, although maybe you think about it. Like
- 12:30Speaker 2: we're in the middle of a remodel in the house
- 12:31Speaker 2: and we've had friends say, look, if you're considering doing anything,
- 12:34Speaker 2: do it now. While the house is chaotic and torn
- 12:37Speaker 2: up and there's dust and noise. You might as well
- 12:40Speaker 2: you get your chin, do your cheeks, get plugs, and
- 12:44Speaker 2: you show up after a week's vacation skinny face and
- 12:47Speaker 2: the one chin and the flowing hair.
- 12:52Speaker 1: That's funny.
- 12:52Speaker 2: Is count on everybody not to comment on it?
- 12:54Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, kiddie, count on everybody not saying anything
- 12:58Speaker 1: about it, right, I can get your glasses.
- 13:00Speaker 2: Well, it's nice, so it looks good on you. There's
- 13:04Speaker 2: something I don't know an different that's.
- 13:06Speaker 1: Funny though if you did, if you're just gonna glance
- 13:08Speaker 1: at me and say what I was going to get done,
- 13:10Speaker 1: you would assume it'd be some sort of hair thing.
- 13:11Speaker 1: But that never even crosses my mind. Really.
- 13:14Speaker 2: Yeah, I happen to be watching the news. There's a
- 13:16Speaker 2: cutie on the news, because it's all cuties on the news.
- 13:18Speaker 2: She had the like super thin, hollowed out cheek thing.
- 13:22Speaker 2: That's absolutely obligatory.
- 13:24Speaker 1: That would be the taking the pad.
- 13:26Speaker 2: That's what the pads out does Yeah, Oh, you gotta
- 13:30Speaker 2: have that that super skeletal look that although you know,
- 13:33Speaker 2: honestly seventy five years ago everybody.
- 13:35Speaker 1: Had that look true because they were hungry.
- 13:38Speaker 2: Well, that was part of it. Gotta stay hungry jack. Huh.
- 13:43Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.