Latest / 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids. / Why One-on-One Time With Your Children is Important

Transcript

Why One-on-One Time With Your Children is Important · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another session of five-minute parenting.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Today I have a special guest, Anastasia Corbin.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: She's passionate about sharing God's Word.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: She manages a home while blogging and providing resources that encourage overwhelmed moms to prioritize faith, family, and fitness.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: She's the author of Becoming an Intentional Family and the co-author of When the Bases Are Loaded, Encouragement for Moms to Hit a Grand Slam in Life.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Anastasia is married and she has four children.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And she says if she had a day to herself, you would find her on the beach reading the book.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome, Anastasia, to our podcast.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's fun to be here.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for having me.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And Anastasia is going to share with us today why one-on-one time with your children is important.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: So what is your child's favorite food?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: How about their favorite color?
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: What is their greatest fear?
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: What kind of books do they like to read?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Do they even like to read?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do we learn the answers to these questions and so many other questions?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: And we do that by having individual time with our children.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: One-on-one time with them is so important because it, number one, it communicates value.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then two, it builds relationships with them.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then three, it actually helps behavior too.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: So one-on-one time is important because it communicates value to your child.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: You're saying to your child that it's worth spending quality time with just him or her.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, your presence is one of the greatest gifts you could give your child.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: This presence is different from just being at home together or at one of their sporting events.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: In those settings, your child doesn't have your full attention, which is understandable.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: But when you take that one-on-one time and you're with them and you're fully engaged with them and present, you're communicating that they're valuable to you.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: Another reason I believe that one-on-one time is important is because it builds relationship with that individual child.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, think about it.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: How did you get to know your best friend or your spouse?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: By spending time with them.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: So when you do one-on-one with your child, it helps you to see life from their perspective.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: You get to know what their preferences are, you get to ask questions and just engage them more and learn more about them.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: The third reason why I believe one-on-one time with your child is important is because it helps their behavior.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: So often our kids or children in general will just act up when they need attention.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure it's happened at your home.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's happened at my home countless times.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: They figure that some negative attention is better than any attention or no attention at all.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: So as parents, we can answer this cry for attention by being intentional, intentional, intentional about creating time to have that one-on-one time with them.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: So investing in your children will help negative behavior to become less and less.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: So one-on-one time is a great idea and all, but how do we fit it in?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: We need to create the space in our schedule for one-on-one time with our children.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Did you notice that I use the word create?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: As a mom of four children that are so involved in so many different things, I know it's hard to make one-on-one with your children, but I feel like it's something that's so important for us to do because we really get to know our kids and connect with their heart during that time together.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Every family is different.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: So you will need to figure out what's going to work best, especially in the season of life you're in.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's different each season.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: The length of time to have with your child one-on-one, it can vary.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: 10 to 15 minutes a day or a couple times a week invested in our children is priceless.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: So in our family, we've created a one-on-one time schedule.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: This schedule is posted on the fridge.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about accountability.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: My kids love knowing when their time with me is.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: And the posted schedule is also a great visual for me because it holds me accountable to make sure I'm getting that time with them.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: During the summer, it's a little easier to get time with kids each day.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: But during the school year, I try to black out at least one or two times a week with each child.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Now, granted, that does not always work because the reality is things come up.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Someone needs help with homework, schedule changes.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: They have a sporting event.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: We got to run out for something, some errand.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why I try to be proactive and schedule at least two days.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: So that way if I miss one day, I can get another day with them.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: So some quick ideas, even that you could try today for one-on-one time with your children.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, often we run errands, we pick up groceries, or we pick up another kid from a sporting event.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Take one of your children with you and have that time in the car together.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: I know, especially with my sons, especially my older son who's 15, he loves, he talks a little bit more in the car when he doesn't have to look at me.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a really good time to have that time with your children.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: Another option is take a walk around the block, or if your neighborhood is just take a walk on the street.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: Taking a walk with your child is just another great time to be with them and talk with them.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: Usually we make dinner or we order out, whatever happens, but that's a time where you can engage your child with you and talk about as you're making the meal together, um, getting to know them.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: Another option for a one-on-one time, you could even do today, is take one of your children out for like a special treat.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: I know my kids love donuts or special drinks or whatever.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's an option too.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then another one, which I love, and we don't do as much because my kids are older, but I want to implement more, is playing their favorite board game or a card game.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: I know one of my favorites is Dutch Bliss, and some of my kids love to play it too.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, working one-on-one time in your family, like I said, is so important.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: In my book that was mentioned earlier, it's called Becoming Intentional Family.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: I share lots of ideas for one-on-one with your kids by the age group.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because I understand, even as I even list out things you could do with your baby to have that time with them.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: My oldest daughter, when she was a baby, one of her favorite things to do with one-on-one was just sitting.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: She would just sit on my lap and we would look out the window together.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that was that was time with her.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: And she knew it was just with her.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so yeah, feel free to use some of the ideas I've mentioned.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: Come up with your own.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many countless ideas out there.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, if you're a single mom and you have several kids and you have older children, have one of them watch the kids while you take time with the individual child.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: And if they're not old enough, team up with a friend or a fellow single mom to get that one-on-one time with your kids.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: And even another option, too, is to ask your parents to help watch the other kids while you spend time with one of your individual children.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: So, like I've mentioned, you know, one-on-one time is important because one, it communicates value, it builds your relationship, and it helps your helps your child's behavior.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I encourage you to create time in your day to do that one-on-one time with your children.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, Antetia.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: That that's a very important topic with our children.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And you've given some great ideas for how to do that.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love the idea of the calendar to keep both the kids excited and you on track.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's just a great idea.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, I've read her book, Becoming an Intentional Family, and I highly recommend that.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: She has so many good ideas in there on on other topics besides spending quality time with your children.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you, Anastasia, for being on our five minute parenting podcast today.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.