Latest / Becoming Parents Podcast / Parent, CEO of HomeschoolToGo, bilingual K-12 Personalized Education - Houlie Duque - S7 E89

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Parent, CEO of HomeschoolToGo, bilingual K-12 Personalized Education - Houlie Duque - S7 E89 · Becoming Parents Podcast

0:00
Welcome to Becoming Parents podcast.
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I'm your host Jennifer Campbell, mom of 18 and executive director
0:05
of the Doula Co-op of Nevada. With more than 15 years in birth
0:08
work, I've had the privilege of walking beside families through
0:11
life's transitions. My work centers on connection,
0:14
community, and amplifying voices that too often go unheard.
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Each of these episodes is an honest conversation about the
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messy, beautiful, and transformative experiences that
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shape us as parents and as people.
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I'd like to extend a heartfelt thank you to the incredible
0:28
guests who show up with and authenticity to share their
0:31
stories with us. Let's dive right in.
0:34
Welcome to becoming parents. Today I have with me Huli
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Duquet, and I don't think I messed it up.
0:40
How are you today? I'm doing good you.
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You pronounced it perfectly. Thank you so much for having me
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on your podcast, Jennifer. I lived in Hawaii back in 1990
0:48
in the military, and when I saw your name, it reminds me of
0:51
Halle. Well, that's they call
0:54
outsiders, you know, And I was, and it wasn't nice, so I didn't.
0:59
Well, you know, you know, it's interesting that you said that.
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And by the way, I never heard that before because I don't know
1:03
anybody from Hawaii. But my real legal name is
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Juliana, like with AJ. Thank you.
1:12
When I moved to Canada, a lot of people were calling me Juliana,
1:15
and I wasn't used to that. I didn't necessarily like it.
1:17
So I started pronouncing my name, sorry, spelling my name
1:22
with an HHOUL i.e. so people would pronounce it like my
1:25
friends and everybody back home. Oh, and so it's funny because
1:29
it's like I, I made that change to feel less like an outsider.
1:33
And and that's kind of what the yeah, they say about expats that
1:39
you like, once you leave your country, you'll never feel at
1:42
home anywhere. Because then when like in the
1:45
new country that you're in, nobody really gets the roots of
1:48
you. And when you go back to your
1:49
roots, nobody really gets the new you with the, you know,
1:53
living in a different place and that, that side of you.
1:55
So that's actually really cool that you just brought that to my
2:00
attention because I. Love that I would have changed
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it too because how great. I lived in Alaska also, and you
2:07
know, when you live anywhere where things are different, like
2:09
it was normal for people up there to not have electricity or
2:13
not have running water carry their water or not have a
2:15
flushing toilet and have outhouses.
2:18
And you get so used to it that then we'd come down and visit
2:20
family and we would be like, yeah, we're gonna, we're looking
2:23
for a house. You know, it doesn't have
2:25
plumbing, which isn't a big deal.
2:26
And people look at you like you've lost your mind and you're
2:29
like, am I crazy or am they? Are they?
2:31
It's that same thing where you feel like you just don't fit.
2:34
You don't know where you fit anymore and that to a lesser
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extent. Anyway, we could tangent about
2:41
this about your parenting journey.
2:45
Yes, for sure. So I would say one of the the
2:50
first times that I felt ready to be a parent was way before like
2:54
I was ever even close to being a parent.
2:57
But I started doing I, I had a lot of things in my career kind
3:00
of fall apart, like I was waiting and working for a
3:04
company and the company closed down and I moved back with my
3:08
dad and I went into therapy because I, I always, I'm the
3:11
type of person who believes that you are not a victim of events
3:15
in life, but rather the events in life are here to teach you
3:18
something. So I was like, what is this here
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to teach me? And so I went to live with my
3:23
dad at like 26 years old and I was kind of like, you know,
3:27
hardly myself, like, what am I doing here at this stage?
3:30
So I did therapy to be able to figure myself out and this
3:34
therapist took me back to like my childhood to work on a lot of
3:37
things and, and understand a lot of the ways that my parents
3:41
tried their best to be a good parent to me and the ways that
3:45
they didn't quite or maybe like instilled trauma.
3:49
Because I think we asked parents, we, we can't do a
3:52
perfect job. But one thing that I got from
3:55
that was that as long as you're aware of the decisions that
3:58
you're making for your child, whether the decisions were the
4:01
right one, the right decisions for your children or not.
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And I, and I learned this by analyzing myself with like my
4:08
own therapist and my own parents.
4:10
You can always go back. And when they're older, they can
4:13
talk to you about it and they can heal and, and you will have
4:17
like a conscious understanding of why you did something to have
4:20
a conversation with them. And I remember that time in my
4:23
life I felt prepared me like nothing else to be the best
4:27
parent that I could become because it showed me like, as
4:31
long as I'm taking every step, every decision with a conscious
4:36
like thought process, I will be able to make the best decision
4:40
that I can. And then any mistakes that I
4:42
make along the way, I'll be able to talk to him about it as he
4:45
grows older and we'll be able to work it out.
4:47
You know, So that time of my life was, I remember when I was
4:52
26, I said, OK, if I were to have a child or have an
4:56
opportunity to create a family at this point, I think I would
5:00
feel ready. And so I was around the time
5:03
also I started teaching because I would go on and off into like
5:08
working as a teacher. And I was, I was teaching for
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very prestigious institutions like Cambridge Montessori,
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Waldorf, where parents pay about $25,000 to get their children
5:22
educated. And I had access to a lot of
5:25
high quality tools and I felt like we I had a very good
5:29
understanding on how to get a child to reach their full
5:34
potential. But I was continually frustrated
5:38
because no matter how hard I worked, I could see that none of
5:43
those students were going to get to their full potential because
5:46
of me. I also saw that the most
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outstanding students had one common denominator, and it was
5:53
that their parents were involved in their life and in their
5:56
education and in their in their development.
5:59
So that's the time in my life where I decided if I were to
6:03
have a child, I would homeschool them because it doesn't matter
6:06
if I send them to the best school ever, they're still not
6:08
going to get a better education than if I'm involved in their
6:11
upbringing. And so for me, from that point
6:14
on, it was always a no brainer. If I become a parent, I will
6:18
home school. Then when Fast forward and when
6:22
I moved to Canada and I started to like I had a relationship
6:28
with with the father of my child and something with my
6:33
immigration was like it was just going too slow.
6:36
So I had decided to move back to Colombia.
6:41
I decided to leave and so I left.
6:44
And like on that week that I got back, I found out that I was
6:49
pregnant after I had already decided to end a relationship.
6:54
I was starting my life in a different country.
6:57
Holy. Cow, right?
6:59
I remember having a conversation with my mom and my mom told me,
7:03
well, holy. I understand that you didn't
7:05
plan this. However, like I think that
7:08
you're mature and developed and conscious enough to be able to
7:11
be a really good mother. And you have to take into
7:14
account, you can decide to do with your baby whatever you
7:19
want, but whatever you choose, you're going to have to live
7:22
with that with for the rest of your life.
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If you have your baby, you will live with your baby the rest of
7:27
your life. If you don't have it, you will
7:28
live with that as well for the rest of your life.
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And for me, it was like, Oh my goodness, I have to figure this
7:34
out. So in the end, I decided to try
7:39
again, moving back into Canada and trying to work on my
7:41
immigration so that my child could grow next to his, you
7:44
know, close to his father as well as me.
7:47
But we had decided that we weren't going to just push the
7:51
relationship because because of the child.
7:55
Well, it, it was more on his side.
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I think for us mothers were more like willing to do anything.
7:59
But that's, that's, you know, that's what he wanted.
8:03
And so that's what I accepted. And then when I moved to Canada,
8:08
I had a lot of, I had a lot of struggles because it was during
8:13
COVID. So, so my family couldn't come
8:19
because my immigration was still in process.
8:21
I did not have any insurance. I already knew that I wanted to
8:25
have a home birth, but it's different when you choose to
8:28
have a home birth and when you're like, by the way, if you
8:32
buy for any reason can't have a home birth and need to go to the
8:35
hospital there, you have to pay $20,000, you know, So it was
8:39
like, it was a very, it was a journey of faith, right?
8:43
Because I was in a position that was difficult for many reasons,
8:48
but I've always kind of been on the, on the, on the, I would say
8:53
crunchy side of things. So I was always, you know, like
8:57
taking like big, very healthy habits, working out through all
9:01
my pregnancy. I watched I don't know if you
9:04
know, you probably know the the Oh my gosh, I can't think of
9:11
that doula that talks about like birth with no pain.
9:21
Yeah. Yeah, so I read her book and
9:27
watched her movies and. And yeah, in the end, I did end
9:31
up having a, a home birth and honestly was beautiful.
9:37
I think I think it was it was 25 hours of Labor.
9:41
But I think I do think that your birth kind of becomes like the
9:47
lessons that you need in that moment to to become the next
9:50
version of of a woman that you're going to be like the
9:54
maiden versus the mother, you know?
9:56
Yeah, yeah. And no matter what you decide
9:58
and how it goes and what happens, and because I think for
10:03
a first time pregnancy, deciding to have a home birth, I was more
10:06
crunchy too. And but I want to have a birth
10:11
center birth with a midwife and got transferred to the hospital.
10:15
And but no matter how it goes or how prepared you think you are,
10:22
it definitely does like it forces you into the next phase
10:27
of your life, you know? Yeah, it does.
10:31
And and I think, I think that the thing that you just said,
10:34
like you kind of have to let go of your expectations because
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especially for me, like I came into parenting with so many
10:40
notions, it's like, I don't want to parent my kids like this or
10:43
like this, and I'm going to be like this.
10:45
And I want the like, you want to have so much control over what
10:48
happens and you quickly realize that.
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None. You have none.
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That is not things are going to work for you.
10:57
I mean, for those of us who are organized and like to keep
11:00
things, I mean, I want to control everything in my life
11:03
that I can, obviously, because I think I do it the best and I
11:06
want to know things and you don't want to be surprised.
11:08
And the moment you conceive you, you just basically have to
11:14
surrender, you know, to surrender.
11:17
And I think within that you have control.
11:19
I mean, you chose the home birth.
11:21
If something had had deviated from that you and you didn't
11:25
have control, you kind of have to roll with it.
11:27
But yeah, it's it definitely prepares you.
11:31
It's crazy going back to like the therapy you went through at
11:35
26. Did that really helped you
11:38
understand your parents better? I think we are hard on our
11:41
parents and until we have kids of our own, there's there are
11:45
parts to that that we don't understand because you can't be
11:49
in the shoes of someone who's a parent if you've never walked in
11:52
those and. That's another thing that I
11:55
quickly realized after being a parent.
11:57
You know, I had all these judgments about other people
11:59
parent their kids, and then when I had my own kid, I realized why
12:03
people fall into these habits. Especially teaching too.
12:08
So I mean, you had two situations in your life that
12:10
prepared you in a very unique way to parent.
12:13
I remember one of my girls saying I'm going to be a much
12:16
better mom than you. And I was like, oh, thank
12:17
goodness, man. I hope you are like, it didn't
12:21
even hurt my feelings. I was like, look, I took it to
12:23
this level. I did the best job that I could
12:26
with what I knew and the time we lived in and the situations that
12:30
we were in. And I want more than anything
12:33
for you to blow it out of the water.
12:34
I want you to do so much better than I did.
12:37
And I don't think I did a bad job, but I'm always going to
12:41
want you to do better than I did for any of the kids in every
12:44
area career. It doesn't matter.
12:46
Please do a better job. And then you give birth and
12:48
you're like, I'm about that. Yes, I think if there's one
12:53
thing that stands out from all of the things that I learned or
12:57
I expected or I really wanted to be present in my job as a parent
13:02
was I, I wanted to be present conscious, like I wanted to be a
13:07
part of it, an important part of it, because I learned that from
13:10
the teacher perspective and I learned that from the child
13:12
perspective that your parents presence changes absolutely
13:17
everything. I mean, when I started getting
13:18
into homeschooling, I started reading about a lot of studies
13:21
because now I have have to be a consultant and an, and a mentor
13:25
for a lot of parents at home school.
13:27
And I, I came up against this study that compared to different
13:34
populations. So during World War 2, a lot of
13:37
children lost their parents. They studied some of these kids
13:41
were to went to loving foster parents.
13:44
Some of these kids went to foster homes and some of these
13:47
kids didn't lose their parents and still stayed with them.
13:49
And they studied the the growth of these children during their
13:53
early, early years up until like 7 years old.
13:58
And what they found was that the kids that were close to their
14:02
parents or even like to the lesser extent, but still the
14:07
kids that had loving foster parents, their brains grew
14:13
faster than the other children. So it's like our brains are
14:18
wired to operate more optimally when we feel that support from
14:22
our parents. And it's important once you go
14:26
into, you know, the wounds and everything that you have as a
14:29
human being and you understand how some, a lot of that comes
14:33
from the way that you were parent, like your parents, like
14:37
raised you, You understand how important the role of a parent
14:40
is. And of course, when you have a
14:42
child, you realize that can nothing is becomes more
14:45
important than that. So it brings me to my point that
14:48
I think for me, in that moment when I had my child and I didn't
14:52
have my family around and I was supposed to start a new life in
14:55
a new country where at the for the first year, I didn't have a
14:59
permanent residence. So I didn't even have a work
15:00
permit. I needed to figure it out
15:03
because I didn't want my child to grow away from his father.
15:06
So when I was in the midst of figuring all that out, I had a
15:11
lot of, I had a lot of opportunities to go work and
15:16
leave my child either with his father or with a daycare or
15:20
with, you know, the grandparents.
15:22
And I remember because of my learnings and my realizations,
15:26
that was the last thing that I was going to be willing to do.
15:29
I, if anything, I knew about how I was going to be a mother.
15:33
I knew that I wanted to be right there by the side of my child.
15:37
Breastfeeding was very important to me because my mom didn't
15:39
breastfeed me and it created like my attachment to her.
15:43
I had to build it in my adult life.
15:45
And you know, so I, so I knew that I wanted to make sure that
15:49
I could establish that secure attachment.
15:51
So I ended up taking a job like a like a remote job in my
15:57
country, Colombia, but from Canada.
16:00
So the currency is very different.
16:01
So I was very underpaid, like for the country that I was
16:04
living in. But I have the opportunity to be
16:08
next to my child. And from that moment, I realized
16:12
that, you know, so many parents will give me the excuse that
16:16
they can't homeschool their child because they have to work.
16:18
And I don't believe that because I was an expat single mother
16:22
with a newborn figuring out life and I figure out how to
16:25
homeschool. I think that if you really want
16:27
to be a part of your child's life, there are ways to figure
16:30
it out. You can make your life a little
16:32
bit less luxurious, but a lot more rich if you have a close
16:36
bond with your child from the get go.
16:38
And that and that is something that I will never regret.
16:41
Like, I'm so happy I made that decision.
16:44
And so, yeah. My first, my first daughter, I
16:48
breastfed for 18 months and there was a point when she was a
16:51
year old that I needed to find a job.
16:53
And it's crazy. I think women are the most
16:56
resourceful out-of-the-box thinkers because what whatever
17:00
your priorities are. And for me it was keeping her
17:03
with me. I did not I didn't want to work
17:05
to pay someone else to watch her.
17:07
That doesn't that mentality didn't make sense to me, even
17:10
though I could make more even paying somebody.
17:13
So I I was a nanny and I cleaned houses and people that I cleaned
17:18
houses for let me bring her with me.
17:21
And so from when she was one to almost three, I did nanny work
17:25
and cleaning houses because those were two things I could
17:28
do. And I never had to leave her
17:30
with someone else. And I could keep all the money I
17:31
made because I wasn't paying for daycare.
17:34
So I just think you do you figure out how to do it, you
17:38
know? Yeah.
17:40
And then on the topic of of breastfeeding, I talked to my
17:44
mom's that when they come to the stage where they are going to
17:49
have to go back to work, they're still breastfeeding their child.
17:53
There's so much, there's so many mothers that choose to
17:56
homeschool right at that stage because it doesn't feel natural
17:59
to them to do that. It's like, it's like, I don't
18:03
want to go back to work because I know that I like in every job,
18:07
you're replaceable, but in the job of being mother to your son,
18:11
you're not or to your daughter. So I find like it's so common,
18:16
yet it happens a lot because in our society we've been
18:20
programmed that that's the way things go.
18:22
So, so many mothers are kind of like they, they go through the
18:28
heartbreak of OK, child is going to daycare, I'm going to work
18:33
now. It breaks my heart.
18:34
I cry in the morning, but I'm doing it because this is the way
18:37
that things should be. I find that is something that is
18:43
not completely right about our society because I think that
18:49
that comes from a primal intuitive place of where you
18:56
should be in that time in your life.
18:58
And it's, and it's heartbreaking, in my opinion,
19:00
that we have to reject like our own instinct to follow some
19:05
societal rule. You know, I, it's, it's a little
19:10
bit easier now because like you said, there, people are more
19:13
open to remote jobs, working from home, people are doing
19:17
their own businesses. And I think This is why we're
19:19
also starting to see a rise in homeschooling, because parents
19:23
are getting more freedom. It still is an overwhelming
19:26
thought. And I think it's because we're
19:28
programmed against it. Like for so many generations,
19:31
kids have been sent to school. But I, I think it's, it's
19:35
ultimately changing. And I and I see, I've never seen
19:40
a mom who homeschools who regret doing that.
19:44
That I agree, and it's hard. I mean, you know, there are
19:48
challenges to homeschooling. I want to go back first, though,
19:51
before we go on that tangent. You got pregnant with someone
19:56
and you guys decided not to stay together, which is fine.
19:59
How? But you moved back.
20:01
How was he and his family through that process?
20:05
And you know, you're having his baby and you can't work many
20:11
jobs and you don't have residency and you have to pay.
20:14
Like there was a lot going on that would have been really
20:18
scary at that point in your life.
20:21
And I imagine feeling a lot like an outsider, like you've
20:24
mentioned. What was that like working with
20:27
him through all of that? If I think it wasn't easy
20:32
because him and I were not together.
20:34
So I think when you're trying to raise a child with someone that
20:37
you're not in a romantic relationship with, it's a lot
20:41
harder to make decisions when you have disagreements in
20:44
certain points. His family was very supportive,
20:48
like while I was pregnant. But once the baby came, they had
20:52
their own agenda for what they wanted to happen.
20:56
Sorry, that was my calendar. Once the baby came, they had a
21:01
lot of, they had a lot of, they have an agenda.
21:06
They had an agenda for what they wanted to happen with the baby.
21:08
And I didn't agree with a lot of them.
21:11
So that's where we kind of started.
21:12
Like there was a little bit of conflict there because we had
21:15
different plans for how we wanted it to be.
21:18
And it took some time before we could work it out where we could
21:21
be on the same page with with how we were going to do things
21:25
raising a baby in like separated.
21:29
Yeah. So, so I, so I would say once
21:33
the baby came, I didn't have much support at all because I
21:35
was on AI wasn't playing like I wasn't playing into the plan
21:41
that they had, if that makes sense.
21:44
Like, like in other words, that they were, they were more of the
21:48
idea that I should go to work so they could stay with the baby.
21:51
And I didn't want that. I wanted to be with my baby.
21:53
So yeah. It is crazy how common that is
21:56
and I don't understand it because as a mom myself and
22:00
knowing that intuitive feeling of wanting to stay with your
22:03
kids, like you got to raise your own kids, you know what I mean?
22:10
Like this, this isn't I get, I, I also have grandchildren, so I
22:13
know how wonderful that is, but in no way do I want to raise my
22:17
grandchildren. I've never understood.
22:19
Like I had my chance to do it, however that went and now it's
22:24
your chance to do it and it's my opportunity to to support you in
22:29
the way you want to do it. I just never understood
22:32
grandparents who are that pushy about how you need to do it a
22:38
certain way or it's not the right way or I should be
22:41
watching this baby. Like you had your chance.
22:44
This isn't your. I can't speak for like journey,
22:47
the journey of others, but what I do know about them is that
22:50
they were very supportive parents to the father of my
22:52
child. And I think they were trying to
22:55
to support him, you know, and unfortunately, in that specific
23:00
moment, supporting him meant going against me, right?
23:05
Yeah. So I mean, the dynamic is hard
23:07
when you're married and you're working together and you have,
23:10
because I think, you know, we think moving in with somebody
23:12
getting married is going to be really hard.
23:14
And I'm not saying that it's not without challenges.
23:17
But when you have a child together and you take very
23:20
different backgrounds and very different people and beliefs and
23:23
try to raise a child together, that is the single most
23:26
challenging, one of the most challenging parts of a
23:29
relationship. And that's when things are
23:31
great, so. I did.
23:34
I did call a few friends that I have that I had around that time
23:39
that had an experience of raising a baby, like being
23:44
separated from the father or from the other parents.
23:47
And the reason I did that was because it's not that common, or
23:52
at least for me, it wasn't like a lot of the people in my circle
23:54
weren't in that position. It was like married couples or
23:58
maybe if there was a separation would happen after like not
24:01
right off the gecko of the birth of the child.
24:03
So I, I reached out to a few of my friends then.
24:06
And I remember one of my friends told me that things were so good
24:13
now because his, his kid was six years old.
24:15
But like when I called him, but he said when the baby was first
24:21
born, we had decided not to be together and and things were
24:28
very chaotic for two years before they figured out how to
24:31
operate. And I remember him telling me
24:33
now we spend Christmas together like we have a good
24:36
relationship. And that give me so much hope
24:40
because for me, I was living a nightmare because I was like, oh
24:43
great, here I was doing all this work to be a good parent and all
24:47
of a sudden I'm having a baby already in chaos.
24:50
Right. So, so when he said that, it
24:53
gave me a lot of hope and, and it did happen that way.
24:56
It took about two years for me and and my child's father to
25:00
kind of figure it out. And I can say now we have a
25:03
pretty good relationship and, and I think my child is getting
25:07
a really good upbringing on both sides, like father and mother.
25:11
And I think also that while obviously living in two separate
25:15
households is not easy for any kid, I think because we do
25:21
operate as a team, he, he still feels that sense of unity and
25:27
they're going back and forth because it's kind of like it's
25:31
3070 situation where like I haven't 70% of the time he has
25:36
to, if there's anything good about it, I'll say he's
25:40
developed really good adaptable skills.
25:42
And I think that's a really good, good skill for for the
25:45
world. And it's, I mean, that's far
25:48
better because in my divorce, I, I don't think we were ever on
25:53
the same page. And it was a long time because
25:55
my youngest was a year and a half old when we separated.
25:58
And so we had a lot of years that we had to figure it out and
26:02
it was really challenging. So even finding a common ground
26:06
where things are going well and it's streamlined and you're not
26:11
concerned like that, that's huge because you can't stop.
26:15
I, I couldn't change that. I got divorced, but I could try
26:19
to make the situation as balanced and smooth as possible.
26:24
And that's, that's another challenge on top of parenting.
26:27
Anyway. So you had all this teaching
26:30
experience. You knew you wanted to home
26:32
school back before you had him. You get pregnant, you're ready
26:35
to go, I'm going to home school. And then what?
26:39
And then this is the time where I started researching programs
26:43
like I had very high standards because of my experience as a
26:46
teacher and also because as a, as a Colombian living in Canada,
26:52
I didn't want to raise a child that wasn't bilingual, right?
26:55
But it's it's a real challenge because he's not going to learn
26:57
Spanish anywhere else in Canada other than through me.
27:01
So I wanted. To make sure that my home
27:03
schooling was going to be in both languages, it was going to
27:06
be project based, it was going to be a good quality education
27:11
standard, and I didn't find anything that checked all my
27:15
boxes. So that's why I decided that I
27:17
would create it myself. I was really surprised because
27:21
as I was creating it, my number one priority was to speak to
27:26
other homeschool parents. And I learned because I, I
27:30
wanted to learn from people who had more experience than me,
27:32
specifically homeschooling at that time.
27:36
And I realized very quickly that a lot of people wanted the same
27:42
things as me as far as like what their standards were for what
27:46
they wanted for the education of their children.
27:48
I found so many people. So I was like, OK, well, since
27:50
I'm already creating it, I might as well make this my business.
27:55
And so I started creating an organization and it grew very
27:59
quickly. So that Fast forward, we come to
28:02
today where where we have we have a international
28:06
organization. We have families from all over
28:08
the world who homeschool in English alone or in Spanish
28:11
alone or in both languages simultaneously.
28:15
And so, yeah. Well, I'm so proud of you, first
28:18
of all, but I when you said that like you couldn't find anything,
28:21
I'm like, never once did I find a curriculum that checked boxes.
28:26
So you would do grammar for in this one and math in this one.
28:31
And I think my home school journey was like piercing
28:35
together things that I liked about different.
28:38
And that works that I mean, I am a lot of work.
28:42
It is a lot of work. And.
28:45
You can make it work, but it's not the most streamlined way to
28:48
do it. Right.
28:49
And it's also not, it's also not easy when you are with a child
28:55
full time at home and then you also have this extra job that
28:58
you have to do, which is the planning of your homeschooling
29:01
for them. It makes it so that those
29:04
moments where you sit with them and you do the projects, where
29:07
you do the work there, it takes away from the fun of that
29:10
because you are in the back of your head thinking about all
29:13
these things or you're stressed or you're busy or you're tired
29:17
because of all this extra work that you have to do.
29:19
That was actually a big part of the conversations that I had
29:22
with parents. And that's why when I built the
29:24
program, I wanted to make sure that was something that had that
29:28
problem in mind so we can create the solution.
29:31
So what we do right now is we are the only fully bilingual
29:36
personalized program in the entire world.
29:39
And the way that we do it is the first thing we do is we have we
29:44
sit down with the parents and we find out what their family
29:47
rhythm looks like. We find out what are the
29:50
dominant learning styles of their child, what are the
29:53
predominant intelligences. So we'll find out if they're
29:58
area of genius is in mathematical logical
30:02
intelligence or sorry, logical mathematical intelligence or
30:05
verbal, linguistic or musical auditory.
30:07
Like we find out what are the strengths and then we build a
30:11
curriculum for those strengths. We also adjusted or adapted to
30:16
their legal authority. So if they're in New York,
30:19
they're going to have a lot more subjects that they need to cover
30:24
compared to if they are in Florida, for example, where they
30:27
only have to cover English math, That's it, it's English language
30:32
arts and math. Or if they're in Texas, like
30:35
every state has something different.
30:37
So we adjusted to that as well because that's another big part
30:40
of the research that a parent has to go through.
30:42
So what we want is to encourage parents to give their kids this
30:47
type of education because it's going to be life changing.
30:50
And in order to make it possible for the parents, you have to
30:52
make it easy. So we take all of that legwork
30:56
and we let them do the fun part, which is sitting down with your
30:59
child and, you know, getting to know them.
31:02
And and then we also assign a teacher to each one of the
31:05
parents because that's another another one of the things the
31:08
parents wanted to know that they were doing a good job.
31:12
So like as the problems or as the concerns came up.
31:15
So we have a teacher that checks in every week with the parent to
31:20
make sure everything is going well.
31:21
If we need to change like this curriculum, this type of
31:24
exercise is not working. So we'll find a different way to
31:27
approach the same milestone in a way that the student finds it
31:31
more fun. And the parent will tell us, Oh,
31:33
but like, he loves to work with his hands.
31:36
He loves to be running around. He likes to be, you know, or my
31:40
kid is not liking writing or like, OK, try using chalk on the
31:44
street or try using your finger on sand.
31:47
Because sometimes when kids are more kinesthetic, they hate the
31:50
idea of sitting down and writing with a pencil.
31:53
But if you add texture, if you add like kinesthetic input,
31:56
they'll be able to enjoy that more.
31:58
So having a teacher to talk to the parent about the day-to-day
32:02
and adjusted experience. Really, really helps.
32:05
And then the other part is when you homeschool, you are, you are
32:11
not like most parents like you are a parent that's decided to
32:16
commit their time and prioritize the education of their child.
32:20
Most parents are not like that because it's not what's easy,
32:24
right? So you see a lot of the times if
32:28
you have higher standards for your child, you see that perhaps
32:32
they might be more commonly surrounded by children that
32:35
don't have those same standards in their home.
32:38
And so that can also be a little bit of a problem because it
32:41
creates a negative influence. So one thing that I really love
32:45
about our community is that when we get our, all of our students
32:49
together once a month, once in English and once in Spanish,
32:53
they show each other their projects.
32:55
And we have in our community such dedicated parents is really
33:00
beautiful to see it because all the kids in these families,
33:04
they, they're all geniuses in their own way.
33:06
Like we have like 8th graders that are doing a project on
33:12
mathematics, analytics, apply to stocks.
33:17
We have another child who really likes building models.
33:22
So they're like, what would it be to build a, a civilized aim
33:27
city underwater? We have another child doing, you
33:31
know, creative writing. So it's like it's really
33:33
beautiful to see all these different students that shine in
33:36
their own way and then and that inspire each other and they talk
33:41
and things that they like to talk about.
33:42
They recommend each other books and in the lower grades, the
33:46
teachers do games with them and honestly, those group calls,
33:50
they're really magical. So it's, it's like a component,
33:52
it's like the personalized education so that we can find
33:56
your child's ultimate potential. Then we have the community so
34:00
that you can be inspired by others that are like you.
34:03
And then we have the teacher support so that you never feel
34:06
like you're alone at any point throughout throughout the, the
34:09
journey. And then at the end, we
34:12
translate all of the portfolio of everything that they're done
34:15
into into a official transcript that they can use to get into
34:20
university if they want to later on.
34:22
So. One thing I loved about
34:26
alternative schooling options because homeschooling was one
34:30
that I used, but I did foster care for a long time and kids
34:33
were coming in that were really behind.
34:36
And there's a stigma in the classroom that you have to be in
34:39
this math group or this read, write.
34:41
They segregate the kids into basically how smart they test,
34:46
not in what they're good at or how they learn, just where they
34:51
placement test. And although yes, we still have
34:53
to do the placement test and things like that and kind of
34:55
figure it out and use that as a barometer.
34:58
You can get there any way you want.
35:00
And when those when foster kids in my home, when I was a parent,
35:06
a foster parent, the state allowed me to use alternative
35:10
schooling. I had to have a teacher backing
35:13
me up basically. But once you take the stigma
35:16
away from a child in how they learn or where they're placing,
35:21
these kids explode. And also they can go as far and
35:26
as fast as they want to. So my youngest daughter is 16
35:30
and we knew that if she went back to school it would be her
35:32
sophomore year of high school, which is this year.
35:35
And there was one school that we would allow and this was the
35:37
program and this was why. And she had to apply to get into
35:41
it. And she she applied and she got
35:43
into it and she is 2 years ahead.
35:45
At the end of her sophomore year, which is in six weeks, she
35:48
will be completely done with all high school prerequisites.
35:52
And she didn't know that when I was homeschooling her.
35:54
She didn't know where she was in English or where she was.
35:57
There was no stigma because we were using an alternative
36:00
teaching method. So whether it's these foster
36:03
kids that are behind and you can help catch them up, you're also
36:06
so one-on-one, even if you have several children, but you're
36:09
giving them such individualized attention that they can bridge
36:12
that gap of learning so quickly. And that isn't, that's
36:17
incredible to see and just to remove the stigma from them.
36:20
I absolutely love that, you know that like that is so cool that
36:23
you brought that up. There are so many studies
36:27
around. Like when you give students this
36:30
standard, it's like, OK, you're going to be graded on everything
36:33
that you're doing and we're going to say what level you're
36:36
at. So that's one, because what that
36:38
does to the learning journey of the child is because they know
36:43
that the end goal is the grade, they stop trying their best.
36:47
The really smart ones, they're like, OK, I want to get this
36:49
grade. So they work enough to get the
36:52
grade that they want. They work best, they work enough
36:55
to get there. And then there's the other type
36:58
of student who's like, OK, I'm going to choose easier subjects
37:02
and easier challenges so that I can get higher grades in them.
37:05
So when you grade education, you never get the best or the
37:10
ultimate potential from the child when you take that away.
37:13
And we never show grades to our students.
37:15
Like we provide man scripts if it's needed and we do it on
37:18
completeness. And it's like you're handing a
37:20
project and we'll ask you to redo certain things to make it
37:25
better. Like that's how life is, right?
37:26
You have to keep adjusting and trying.
37:29
And, and once we get the result that we want, then they get the
37:33
top grade because that's where we wanted them to be.
37:35
But we never talked to them about the grade.
37:37
We only talk about the journey. So that's one grades have been
37:43
proven. They don't get, they don't
37:45
extract the best out of the students.
37:47
That's number one. Number 2 is that in the school
37:50
system they have a standard. So anyone who's below that, K,
37:55
you're behind in math. Now you have to do more math.
37:59
Us is the opposite approach because we're not going to make
38:02
you do more of what you're not good at.
38:04
So you can be just like everybody else.
38:07
What we want is for you to do more of what you're talented in,
38:11
so you can be outstanding and be ahead and, you know, stand out
38:15
in in the future, you know what your gifts are and you're going
38:18
to use those to create value for the world.
38:20
So we want to develop as much as possible, your own unique
38:24
talents rather than ignoring those.
38:27
OK, your, your, your talents where you're really, really
38:30
good, you're up to par with everyone.
38:33
So we're going to keep you there.
38:34
And now we're going to make you do more of what you're not good
38:36
at, which is going to take you longer.
38:38
So I think alternative education, like you're saying,
38:42
allows for the parents to adjust education in such a way that you
38:46
can truly explore the genius and the potential in each child.
38:50
And, and you're right, a lot of our students who are in high
38:53
school are very well on their way to completing all of the
38:57
high school requirements long before they have to start 12th
39:02
grade. I also love this is so exciting
39:06
and talking to you reminded me so I'm very visual.
39:09
I want to be like hands on right?
39:12
Not like science experiment, but I want to learn by seeing you do
39:16
it and crazy. I was really good at math, but
39:20
like I you talked about kinesthetic and audio.
39:23
The, the worst thing that you can do is put a book on tape for
39:27
me like I am gone. It is not going to work for me.
39:32
But we I got back then, it was a tape that my my 34 year old
39:38
daughter was in first grade. And that means it was like 28
39:41
years ago I got this tape and it did the states of the United
39:44
States in alphabetical order to a song.
39:48
And I think I was just what you were talking.
39:50
I'm like, do I could I sing that whole song 28 years later and I
39:54
haven't heard it in at least like 24 years.
39:56
I have not heard this song. So I think it gives you the
40:00
ability to see, yes, how your child learns.
40:02
But knowing how I learn, but also there's so much crossover.
40:07
I'm not audio learner, but you put it to music.
40:09
I will probably never forget that stupid song on the States.
40:13
Right, like you get to explore crazy ways to learn things.
40:18
So if history, if learning history seems boring and hard
40:23
and it's a lot of dates. And if you, I can guarantee you
40:27
put that to music. Like I remember from me being in
40:31
3rd grade in 1400 and you know, like I remember the Columbus
40:34
song in 14192 Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
40:38
I remember the song from myself being in school.
40:42
So I think home people who women who homeschool, we just talked
40:45
about this earlier about how when you're a parent and you
40:48
have a priority, you think out-of-the-box and you figure it
40:50
out, right? Homeschooling moms are like
40:54
you've taken this to like on steroids because you still do
40:59
need to learn the things. Yeah.
41:02
And you may hate math and it's not your zone of genius or
41:04
history or whatever. You still at some point do need
41:08
to get a transcript to university or pass your state
41:12
required tests or like insert thing now.
41:16
And do I think that we're teaching like driving, We're not
41:19
teaching kids how to be good drivers to take the driving
41:21
test. We're teaching them how to pass
41:22
a test that does not not passing it doesn't mean you're not a
41:26
good driver and passing it doesn't mean you are a good
41:28
driver. We've just taught you how to
41:30
pass the test, not be a good driver driver.
41:33
You have to do both though, because they have to pass the
41:35
test and be a good driver. And home school is the same
41:39
where we we can think of these super out-of-the-box ways.
41:43
You need to learn history and all these dates.
41:45
I got a tape to put it to music. My kids learned all of it.
41:50
And so I think people, families at home school are really,
41:54
really good at being like, OK, my child learns this way and but
41:59
needs to learn these things. How can I bridge that gap so
42:04
that they learn their times tables or they understand
42:06
multiplication or fractions become easier because in the
42:10
end, they still have to learn the information.
42:11
But we can. We can get there any way we
42:13
want. Yes.
42:15
And I think that a very important note to add to that is
42:18
that when you can connect the learning to a real life
42:21
application, it's going to make more sense for the mind of the
42:25
child and the adult. So the problem with schools is
42:29
that a lot of the times they, they take some a concept that
42:34
you need to learn and they take it completely out of context.
42:37
So you're doing worksheets and exercises and, and you're, you
42:41
know that you get a great answer, but like, how does this
42:44
translate to my real life where I can use it to create value or
42:49
to, or to, you know, to live my life in a better way?
42:53
And that's the issue. And that's why I believe in
42:56
project based education, because when you can see an end or, or
43:01
you can see a purpose to what you're learning, you have more
43:04
motivation to do it. But not only that, you also
43:07
retain the information better, right?
43:10
This is so fun. No, I'm loving.
43:13
This, that would be so fun to talk about.
43:16
And I want to encourage homeschoolers.
43:18
So you mentioned your international, so anyone that
43:20
hears this can connect you. And we have all of your
43:23
information in the show notes. I stalk you everywhere it's
43:27
possible and they can too. And then what's the best,
43:32
easiest way to get in touch with you?
43:34
What's the process look like once they do get in touch with
43:38
you? Yes, so I did like because I've
43:41
talked to thousands of parents when they're in that considering
43:44
stage of homeschooling. I'm very familiar with the
43:47
questions that parents have like, oh, like what about the
43:50
certification? How do you schedule your days?
43:52
How like it? How what about the social
43:55
skills? All these questions that parents
43:57
always have At the beginning, I created a 30 minute sort of
44:01
class answering all those questions and guiding parents
44:04
through the first steps of how to get started.
44:08
And so I have that master class that I can share with all of
44:10
your audience for free. So all they have to do is go to
44:13
www.homeschool Togo, homeschool to go.org.
44:19
And then on the first screen right there, you're going to see
44:22
a big button that says the homeschool to go master class.
44:25
You click it and you can access it for free.
44:28
Then after you watch that, you still have questions and you
44:32
want to talk to me to, to get into the detail of how you can
44:36
make it work for you specifically.
44:38
There's an opportunity there for you to book and, and a meeting
44:41
with me one-on-one. So that's, that's an option as
44:44
well. Or you can find me on Instagram
44:47
and and I'll make sure that I give you all my handles so you
44:50
can link them in the show notes. Yeah, yeah, I think they are,
44:54
but we'll double check that. This is so fun.
44:57
So how old is your son now? He is 6 years old.
45:01
Yeah, so first, first ish grade. Yeah, he he just finished
45:05
kindergarten and he's already like halfway through all the
45:08
milestones for Grade 1. It's so fun when you're
45:12
homeschooling your own kid, your own children.
45:15
And when my kids were in kindergarten, like, I like
45:18
science. There's lots of stuff that's
45:19
fun. I wanted to make reading really
45:21
fun. Reading was all I cared about
45:23
because the second that they read and they read well and
45:27
they're excited about it and reading is fun, like the entire
45:30
world was open to them. So I was less concerned in
45:34
kindergarten and 1st grade on, you know, science and history
45:37
and math and we did those things.
45:39
But I they, they can just go so far and so fast, and they're
45:43
sponges. And you know what?
45:45
Like I find in that age, academic learning is not as
45:50
important as play is as like seeing the world understanding
45:54
like growth mindset. Like in our kindergarten
45:56
program, we have a weak package that is, you know, they're doing
46:01
writing, they're doing math, but they're doing it by
46:03
understanding growth mindset. So they'll write or draw things.
46:08
I can't do this, this is hard. And then they have to rewrite it
46:11
like this is hard, but I can get better at it.
46:16
And it's like, it's like teaching those lessons that are
46:18
in between the academic learning that are more important and like
46:22
making a poster for growth mindset for your bedroom.
46:24
Like those things are so much more important.
46:28
Like my child wakes up. Like by the way, people think,
46:31
oh, homeschooling, like we have to be all day sitting down
46:35
doing. It's not like I stay with my
46:37
child for one hour on Tuesdays and one hour on Thursdays.
46:41
And we are, we are very far ahead for where we need to be
46:45
just for being that consistently in both languages because he's
46:49
fully fluent in Spanish as well. So in the morning, when I know
46:54
that that was one of the biggest wins because that took a while.
46:58
Spanish, like, language, is a consistency game.
47:02
So. And it's like everything.
47:03
You probably experience this with your children when you're
47:05
teaching them, but it's like you feel like the concepts are not
47:09
clicking. And then one day when you're
47:11
trying it for the 20th time, it clicks.
47:13
And it's like they always knew it.
47:16
See how that works? Hey.
47:17
So yeah. So I think it's a game of
47:18
consistency. But what I was saying is my
47:20
child wakes up, he will make his own breakfast.
47:25
He will sort his laundry, wash it, fold his laundry.
47:30
And then we'll, he'll be like, OK, let's sit down and start
47:33
our, our school work. And now he's a very kinesthetic,
47:37
very active child. So every 10 minutes he needs to
47:41
take a break. This is why I, I say to him,
47:43
like you would never survive a day in school because they would
47:46
never just like in the middle of the lesson, let you get up and
47:50
like, I have like a chest of costumes, like like next to the
47:53
next to the, to the school, like to the table where we do the
47:56
school, because I know that he needs those breaks.
47:59
So I'll say, OK, you can grab 1 caution and you can play for 5
48:03
minutes. He'll grab a caution and start
48:04
playing on his own. And that's another thing that
48:06
they tell you, like when you have a child that can play
48:08
independently and that loves playing and pretend playing,
48:11
it's such a good sign of a healthy because that's how kids
48:15
process their emotions when they're little is through making
48:18
up little stories and acting out little stories.
48:20
So you don't want to take that away.
48:22
When you put a child behind a desk to sit down for the whole
48:26
day at 5-6 years old, you're taking away so much growth that
48:32
they need for their emotional development.
48:35
And so, yeah, I'd say other than those two hours and we sit down,
48:41
most of the learning is just happening in the day-to-day.
48:44
Like, you know, my, my child when we, when we travel because
48:49
we don't have to wait until summer to travel so we can
48:52
travel in between. Like we were always finding
48:55
opportunities for how to learn in our day-to-day because we
48:57
have the freedom. Like people say homeschooling
49:00
can be so overwhelming. No, it's actually free.
49:03
Like, I love being able to sleep in on the mornings that I'm with
49:06
my child, and I don't have to, like, be rushing in the morning
49:08
to pack a lunch to send him out the door, you know?
49:12
Yeah. So I do think it liberates her
49:14
life to homeschool in so many ways. 100% I mean, now that my
49:19
daughters in this program instead of being homeschooled
49:22
after years of homeschooling her, I'm on this schedule that I
49:26
didn't create and I don't love that.
49:30
I don't love someone else dictating.
49:31
No, I feel you. It's very bothersome and it's
49:36
different than a job. Like in my job, I have certain
49:39
expectations and ways that I do things and freedom and
49:42
responsibility, but being, you know, you have to get her there
49:46
at a certain time or, oh, I need to stay late for a lab or I need
49:49
to go early for this. Oh my gosh, I want to pull my
49:51
hair out. Yeah, it drives me great.
49:54
But I'm also really grateful that she's in the program she's
49:57
in because she's in a college level program right now.
49:59
And I, there is a point where I with all of the kids like, OK,
50:04
I'm not the best teacher. So I either need to have teacher
50:06
support, which you have built in, or I need to find an
50:11
alternative program that I'm comfortable with.
50:14
And when we were doing, when we were hitting college level, I
50:17
was like, she needs to go get college credits.
50:20
But it's still. But that's that's a thing that
50:24
she could accomplish because she was home schooled like a lot of
50:29
the students that are in high school level, but that they have
50:32
gone beyond that in their home school journey.
50:34
They're, they're still eligible for college credits price, which
50:38
is free. I mean within the public system.
50:42
So that's another advantage. It's like sometimes when
50:44
parents, when parents do home school and they're like, I want
50:47
to, I want to sign up my kid for the next grade level.
50:50
It's like no, no, no, keep your child in second grade and do
50:54
third grade stuff. And yeah, exactly, exactly.
50:57
And do you know? And then by the time they're in
51:00
10th grade, they still have two years to take more courses while
51:04
still being in that system, so. Yeah her college is free
51:09
everything is free because she's a high school student if I had
51:12
graduated her out that there's so many options yes, there's so
51:17
many Well, we thank you so much for being on I appreciate you.
51:21
This was so. Fun.
51:22
It was so fun. Thank you so much for having me.
51:24
I really do appreciate speaking to a veteran homeschool mom.
51:28
So cool.