Latest / The Kelly Jedele Show / You Don’t Have to Choose Between Motherhood and Your Dreams
Transcript
- Kelly: When I was five years old, my mom decided to leave our family. It was my brother, my dad, and I, and she had had enough. She decided to choose her business and her life and move on. And that didn't have to be that way. Kelly intro: Hey, I'm Kelly Jedele and this is the Kelly Jedele Show. the lie we've been sold that you have to pick: the career or the kid, the big vision or the bedtime story. ⁓ calling it. That's not the deal. You can have both. I have built businesses for the last 16 years as a single mom. And you can do it without hustling yourself into the ground, but by choosing strategically every single day. Kelly: That's it for this week. If something in this episode hit, do me a favor. Send it to one woman in your life who needs to hear it. That's how this community grows, one honest conversation at a time. Follow the show, leave a review, and come find me on Instagram. I read everything. Remember, strong doesn't mean solo. I'll see you next week. There are so many ways that we can choose to be moms and have our business. It doesn't have to be that way. Kelly intro: This show is for the woman who wants the business, the brand, the freedom, and the family. All of it. So grab your coffee, your kids' juice box, whatever you got in your hand. Let's get into it. Kelly: I chose not to do that. I chose to have the career and my child. I chose to build the business ⁓ and up for my daughter. ⁓ I figure it out what no one figured out for me. I'm Kelly Jedele and this is the ambitious Mom. Today I'm telling you. ⁓ Some of my stories from my life. The wound that started it, the win that cost me in the moment I almost didn't make it through. And now the thing that I'm building that still scares me a little. By the end of this episode, you'll know if this show is yours. If you've ever sat in your car after a big day and cried because there was no one to call, no one to understand, stay with me. If you've ever loved your child so much it ached, and loved your work so much it ached, stay with me. If you've ever wondered if you're the only one trying to hold all of it, you're not. And you're in the right place. Let's go. So, to tell you about my story about my biological mom is a long, long story. And what I will tell you today is she has taught me so much with her absence that I would not change that story if I went back. I am the woman today because she left. But that little girl who was five years old, up until about 40. was so so sad she left. My mom decided to leave our family. She had had enough. She was a full-time mom to my brother and I, who's my brother's two years older, and a stay-at-home wife for my dad. My dad was enlisted military and worked two jobs just to pay for our household. And she wanted a business. She wanted more. She wanted a different life. And so she left. this part of me ⁓ Always that there's a part of me that always tried to understand like her point of view, like where she was coming from, how how her childhood and her pain made her made make the choices that she did for me and for my life. And it's really, really hard to understand, especially now that when I had my daughter and raising my daughter. After my divorce and being a single mom, I I could not imagine ever leaving my daughter. Like, never. It she has brought me so much joy over the years. I just have always been in a space of just not understanding. And so her absence has had me commit at a very young age, around 19, to really be a voice for women so that they don't have to choose. They have options out there that you can have a family, take care of yourself, and have your business. I was a I was an example of that. I raised my daughter and have created a 2.3 million dollar cleaning company along the way. And I'm so, so proud of the relationship I have with my daughter and my company. Like we're met we're we're rocking it out. My daughter's now 23 years old and lives in New Jersey, works in New York City as a musical theater actress. And holy cow, the relationship we have is amazing. I'm so grateful. For all the things I have gone through in order to get me to where I am now. That's not easy to say. Because five-year-old may still until very recently wanted to have her mommy. And now I don't want it to change. So if you are dealing with not feeling like you can handle Being a mom and have your business. I want you to lean in and listen and hear the stories of what's what might be possible. My story is just one story, but maybe there are parts in my story that you can recognize in your story or you can just lean in and learn from. And I'm not saying I did it perfect. There are so many ways to do it. I'm just saying what I did worked for me. I have a great business. I have an amazing relationship with my daughter, and she is doing great. So on that, there were times when it wasn't so great. There were times when I was a mom that was impatient and I would yell or Just be so critical. I'm very, very critical of myself. I have very high standards for myself, which are unrealistic. And that passes on. You feel that way about yourself. You teach your children that directly or indirectly it just happens, right? And so I created this high achieving, she's an overachiever daughter. And so there were many, many times of stress because she was trying to achieve something that just wasn't reasonable, po possible. And there was also a time, she was probably middle school or high school, because she's I started my business when she was six, that she looked back and could remember many, many times that we were doing things together, that I would be on my phone. texting clients, confirming appointments, answering quotes, marketing, networking, you know, vendors, whatever, you know, talk to into employees, all all of the things. And that That got my attention. And to this day, I am careful with how much I'm on my phone when I'm around her or with friends or have people in front of me. Because I don't want to be that person. I want to care about the people that are in front of me. And her words just really, really touched me. So we are hard on ourselves as moms and business owners, but there's also moments like just recently, a few months ago, she told me that her talent agent had asked her to write to create a video, a self-tape video of a hero in her life, someone that she respected. And she sent me that video after she submitted it. And that was about me. That video was just everything a mom would want, right? Like everything that I have worked hard for that video told me that she respects all of the hard work and the effort and the communication that I worked on and the relationship that I tried to forge with ⁓ and the that I I brought between us and worked on personal development, all of that. It was so ⁓ satisfying and and warming to me. It it was amazing. So the highs and lows of motherhood is just ⁓ so intense. the highs and lows of motherhood is just ⁓ so intense. ⁓ Motherhood and business can be tough when you put ⁓ together, right? Like you just don't think that you can do both. Motherhood and business can be tough when you put ⁓ together, right? Like you just don't think that you can do both. How could you possibly raise a child and have a business? How could you possibly raise a child and have a business? ⁓ Have a career? Have a have could you possibly do ⁓ And ⁓ I will say that there were twice, two times, and years ago, ⁓ that I thought that I had to go. I couldn't do ⁓ And ⁓ one time was in when Carly was in middle ⁓ I was ready to sell the business. I was ready. I was like, I can't do this anymore. It's too intense. She was in theater and dance and voice and shows and I was, you know, not taking care of myself. It was just a hot mess, right? Just hot mess express. Just like all over the place. And so I started talking to a broker, and good thing I didn't go down that road. I I save I saved myself. I stopped and I kept going. I chose to keep the business back then. And when you work with a broker, they'll tell you what's good and what's broken with your business. So it's it's good to actually go through that process sometimes because you do learn a lot about why your business is valuable to other people and why it might not be. So you can work on the things to make it more valuable. And then last year. When my daughter graduated college and the year after my father had passed away, and I found myself in this life transition that, you know, what does it all mean anyway? And what existential thoughts that I had constantly pushing me to think about my life and my legacy and and what I'm doing to create a lifetime of giving to other people. And so I went through that broker process again with a buyer, and we got to quite quite far into that process, and it it just didn't work. And I'm very glad to say that that I kept the business now. And I'm proud of what I've created and I'm excited to grow. and to dive in more and continue to expand and implement things that I've learned and really, really just build up my skills and the skills of my staff and team, the quality of our work, and really go. And now on the heels of that, I'm so excited about building a new thing for me, like building my speaking and my coaching career and really continuing to grow. That is so exciting to me. I love evolving as a person. I'm constantly pushing myself. And I would like to grow into the person that you would see as a big sister or an older friend that that maybe has a step or two ahead of you in this game we call life. motherhood or business. And so I can help you with some of those thoughts, fears, objections, and really just allow yourself to think of different opportunities, different tools and strategies and community and the way that things that worked with me and maybe you can kind of bounce off of those ideas and build something for yourself, come up with new ideas. Maybe it'll spark an idea for you. I would love that. So my mother wound that I had so deep inside of me that started when I was five allowed me to really get on the path of where I am to today. With all of those things in between of thinking, I I can't be the mother that Carly needs to be. I'm not the one. And realizing that I actually was very much the one. And then wanting to sell my business and then grow into this other person. Like it's there's so much to this story. And if you could see yourself in any of this, hit follow. Come with me on this journey. Come down the road for me with me on this podcast so we can explore these topics. And put in the comments, put in the comments what do you want to hear? What are the things that you heard in this episode that really sparked for you? ⁓ An idea, a thought, a theme, share with a girlfriend, share with a woman that you know that might need this also. And let's build this community. Let's build this place to where we can grow and thrive as badass bitches. I stutter because my mother would be like, what? There where we actually go and build each other up. We are the businesswomen that are out there building each other and growing. Thank you for listening. If you've made it this far, I look forward to working with you and work talking with you more. Have a fantastic, fantastic day.