Latest / Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce / 92.Setting Sacred Boundaries & Redefining Success after Divorce w/Erica Diamond

Transcript

92.Setting Sacred Boundaries & Redefining Success after Divorce w/Erica Diamond · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Hi love, welcome to Dear Dvoris Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave and build back your confidence.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, dawn Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer and divorcee.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Hi love, I'm so excited today to bring to you Erica Diamond.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Erica Diamond is such a powerful woman and I'm so lucky to have her on the pod today.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Erica is a powerful woman just like you, our listener, who teaches busy women to prioritize self-care so you can experience less stress, more calm and greater joy every day.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Erica is an accomplished coach, speaker, author and has her own Barbie by Mattel, called the Chief Inspiration Officer so inspiring.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: But Erica wasn't always so aligned with her life's calling and purpose.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: 20 years ago, she found herself on the verge of burnout, which I know you can relate to, and in her therapist's office looking for solutions.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Her initial thought was to cut back at work, but on her therapist's advice, she instead learned how to balance it all by creating a calming lifestyle that allowed her to thrive personally and professionally.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: What she's most proud of as of late is a new wellness brand, bliss Essential, which is the ultimate collection of the highest quality and purest essential oil blends to enhance her everyday wellness and self-care.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Erica welcome.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy to be here, Don, and thank you for creating this space for other people to learn to empower themselves, so congrats to you as well.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: This is important and needed.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: So tell us a little bit more about your journey.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Right, You're sitting there in the therapist's office and you're burnt out, and you know, all of a sudden something clicks for you.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: So that was kind of the epiphany of where I unlocked this self-care lifestyle that I've been teaching for over 20 years.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: So we'll rewind.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: I'm 48 now, so it was about I'm about 27 or 28 at the time.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I started my first company at 24.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: On paper, it was incredible, right.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: We were by now three years into my company.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: I was a Profit Hot 50 company, one of Canada's 50 Emerging Growth Companies.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: It was the only female CEO on the list.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: We were growing, I was winning top 30 under 30 and the business was thriving.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: I was quietly burning out and I was just not feeling in my body and my mom, who's my best friend and who happens to be a therapist she looked at me and she's like Erica, something's up.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I think you need to.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: So, as part of my non-negotiables as an entrepreneur, I had a trainer twice a week and I worked out with this girl, sandra, who was also a therapist.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: I liked her vibe and I knew she was a therapist.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: She was Dr Sandra and I said Sandra, I'm feeling funky.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: Talk to someone, would you see me?
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: So she said, yeah.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: So in our work together on her couch, what we uncovered was she's like Erica, you're this thriving entrepreneur and know what is telling you and you love your business.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: No one's telling you, you should have to throw water on your flame and dull your shine.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Instead, let's complement it with a more calming mindfulness.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: You know practice way of life, and so that became my new non-negotiable.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: So I think you should try yoga and meditation.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: So, as an entrepreneur, again, yoga, Steve, became my non-negotiable to myself.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: So Steve was twice a week and he taught me what happened when I stepped on my yoga mat and how I completely transformed, not only on the yoga mat, but also off the yoga mat.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: I started to sleep better.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: come back to myself.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: I was practicing breathing and mindfulness and you know, mega stress management.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: I had like this big toolbox of stress management tactics now and so I came back to myself.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: I wasn't sleeping at the time.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: I was educated, so I started to kind of find myself and when I sold that company to Canada's, when it was acquired by Canada's largest retail chain of bags seven years later, I just like I was so tired by that.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to stay home for a few years at my babies and as I went back to work and I started my entrepreneurial journey again, that's when I started this big lifestyle blog for women.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Women on the fence calm.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: And I just love that women on the fence.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I had always mentored women in business, even when I had my company, and so it just became sort of this evolution of helping women and get unstuck, then mentoring women in business.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Then, you know, I was asked to audition as the weekly lifestyle parenting correspondent on TV.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: So going on and say, listen, I'm giving this advice now and I've always for years coach women but I want to get certified so that I feel that I have the know.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: How Went into certification for yoga to be able to marry working with people's minds and their bodies and then always been an essential oils junkie that in COVID gave birth to a self care product.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: So really to give this kind of 360 degree offering to women, to really take them from feeling stressed, overwhelmed, burnt out, uncreative on the hamster wheel to sort of feeling alive, vibrant, in flow, in purpose and passion and power and kind of that's.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's what my obsession is in this world is to help women feel like that every day.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Yes, and it's amazing, and you just seem to do it so effortlessly.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I know it's not effortless, but it seems like that it's so.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: There's a phrase you used A couple of times and I want to zero in on it for a moment.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: You said as part of your entrepreneurship, your, I think, steve the workout coach was non negotiable, and then yoga became part of a non negotiable.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about for a moment the role of having non negotiables as part of alignment, right, because I think that's often the piece that's missing for many people.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Women, you know especially that the non negotiables tend to be more about other people than myself, right?
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: And and that non negotiable belief that I must have this in order to be well, tell me about that.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, great question.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: So non negotiables are, are just that, they are things that we will not negotiate on.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: So for me, non negotiables are like as simple and silly as I need to walk outside for 20 minutes and full spectrum.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Go back ours are brutal, so I don't care if it's like snowing and freezing.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: That's my non negotiable, my non negotiables.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: I will not miss, you know, the French play or certain things, or hockey games or whatever.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: So there, you know.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: What are you, what are the things you will not negotiate on.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: So at first, look it's, we think it's about saying no, right, because we all have stuff on our plate and we all, you know, and often I think even it's a woman thing, right, we're so raised to be.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: You know the people, please are in the yes girl and what we do is slowly weave our way into this kind of human pretzel and I say, like, what's your human pretzel threshold?
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Are you there yet, right?
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: So I think it's about getting very intentional, about you want to live and being able to trim the fat to whatever is not in alignment.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: So I always say I practice the 80 to 20 rule.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: I make sure that 80% of my commitments are necessary commitments and things that, like I have to do, want to do in.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: 20% is is fluff or whatever things like it would be a great to do, great to have so.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: Like I may want to be president of the PTA Association at school, but you know, it may be the season of a lot of work, and so I would like to remind people as they define what are their non negotiables.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: No doesn't mean no forever.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Right For now.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Right, so I may have that desire.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Maybe I was like, I don't know, I want to learn Italian.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: I've always wanted to.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: Maybe I want to travel to Italy learn Italian, you know, maybe I want to take a cooking class because I want to be a better cook at home, but now, at night, is not the time for me.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I don't like.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I'm too tired.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: So what do I have going on?
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: So it's about getting really intentional.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: No doesn't mean no forever.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: What will I?
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: So I won't negotiate on I love my business.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I won't negotiate on not working on my business during the day.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: I will not negotiate on closing down work.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: So, like my non negotiable sorry, don't teach yoga at night.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: And I just a lot of people in doing that because I understand people work during the day.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: They want to practice at night.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: I work on TV, I'm a life coach, I'm a speaker, I mean I do a lot of things.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I just I work enough during the day and so I don't work at night.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: And so was it took me a long time to be able to say no, like I just in a nice way saying, you know, I