Latest / Sober Readings / Nothing Grows In The Dark
Transcript
- 10 21Reading: Good morning everyone, welcome back to Sober Readings. Today is Wednesday the twenty first of October. My name is Scott. I am so glad you're here with me today. We're gonna read from Daily Reflections, 24 hours, keep it simple, and then a fourth reading, which I'm not gonna tell you what book it's from, but it's a new book that I just picked up, and I'm I'm kinda excited to read from it today. But let's get started like we always do with the Serenity Prayer. God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference. Today's topic in Daily Reflections is nothing grows in the dark. We will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to flower and to grow. And that's a line from As Bill Sees It. With the self-discipline and insight gained from practicing step ten, I begin to know the gratifications of sobriety, not as mere abstinence from alcohol, but as recovery in every department of my life. I renew hope, regenerate faith, and regain the dignity of self-respect. Reassured that I am no longer always wrong, I learn to accept myself as I am. With a new sense of the miracles of sobriety and serenity. And what that reading reminds me of is one of the most important things I've learned in sobriety, and that is that I have to accept myself as I am, not as I think I should be. That means accepting my imperfections, my past mistakes, my character defects, and even the parts of myself I'm not particularly proud of. Acceptance doesn't mean I stop trying to become a better person. It means I stop beating myself up for not being perfect. The 12 steps have taught me that I can acknowledge my shortcomings without allowing them to define who I am. Recovery is about progress, not perfection. And I can love and accept the person I am today while continuing to work toward the person I want to become tomorrow. Today's reading from twenty four hours, the AA Thought for the Day. Now that we have considered the obligations of real working members of AA, let us examine what the rewards are that have come to us as a result of our new way of living. First, I understand myself more than I ever did before. It goes on to say, I will never be alone again. I am not an odd fish or a square peg in a round hole. I seem to have found my right place in the world. And the question for the AA Thought for the Day. Am I beginning to understand myself? And in the meditation for the day, it says that the knocking of God's Spirit asking to come into your life is due to no merit of yours, though it is in response to a longing of your heart. Keep a listening ear, an ear bent to catch the sound of the gentle knocking at the door of your heart by the Spirit of God. Then open the door of your heart and let God's Spirit come in. And in today's prayer for the day, I'm praying that I may let God's Spirit come into my heart, and that it may fill me with an abiding peace. And this reading is right along the same lines as the topic of the daily reflections today. And one of the greatest gifts sobriety and the twelve steps has given me is the opportunity to truly get to know myself. For years, alcohol allowed me to avoid uncomfortable feelings, ignore my shortcomings, and escape from things I didn't want to face. But working the program has forced me to take an honest look at who I am, why I think the way I do, and what drives my actions and reactions. Through self-examination, taking inventory, making amends, and talking with others in recovery, I've begun to recognize patterns in my behavior that I never understood before. I've known about them, just never understood them. I've learned that fear, pride, resentment, Insecurity often influence my decisions more than I care to admit. And the more I understand myself, the better equipped I am to recognize my character defects, take responsibility for my actions, and make healthier choices. Sobriety hasn't just taught me how to live without alcohol, it's teaching me how to live with myself, how to live honestly, peacefully, and with a willingness to keep growing. The next reading is from Keep It Simple. This is Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal. And it starts off with a quote from an anonymous writer saying, even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Nobody's always wrong. Nobody's always bad. That includes us. Sometimes we really get down on ourselves. When we do step four, we sometimes see only our faults. When we make our step 10 checkup, we see only our mistakes. We can't afford to do this. We need to see our strengths too. But even our faults have a good side. Are you stubborn? Good. Be stubborn about staying sober. If you're stubborn, you know how to hang on to feelings. So hang on to the good feelings instead of the bad ones. And the action for today in this book, I'll take another look at my faults today. How can I use them? in good ways. So let's talk about the tenth step inventory for a minute. When I take my inventory at the end of the day, I think it's important to recognize not only where I fell short, but also where I did well. It's easy for me to focus on my mistakes, my character defects, and the things I could have handled differently, but if that's all I look for, I'm missing an important part of my growth in sobriety. I need to acknowledge the moments when I showed patience, kindness, tolerance, humility, or was of service to someone else today. Recognizing the good in myself isn't about feeding my ego or giving myself a pat on the back. It's about being honest and fair with myself. The purpose of my nightly reflection isn't to beat myself up over my shortcomings, but to learn from my mistakes, recognize my progress, and find ways to become a better person tomorrow. Recovery is about progress, not perfection. And sometimes I need to remind myself that I'm making more progress than I give myself credit for. One of my favorite lines in sobriety is, if I do what I always did, I get what I always got. That means that the results of good decisions will result in good things happening. And so for today's final reading, I'm gonna read from a new book that I got, and don't be mad at me, this is an Al Anon Family Group book, and it's called Hope for Today. And as I've been skimming through this book, looking through some of the readings, a lot of this really applies to me as well, that's why I chose to read from it today. So let's begin with today's reading from this book. As a child, I enjoyed helping my mother plant tulip bulbs every fall. She taught me to plant them in rows. Neat and tidy. In my first home, I looked forward to my own tulips blossoming. One year my husband asked, Why do you plant them in rows? Why not in clusters? I noticed many of my neighbors planted flowers in clusters, a pattern I considered scattered. Soon after, an Al-Anon member shared how she did certain things her mother's way, as if they were the only real way. Suddenly it was clear why I did some things in certain ways. My mother had Me. Later, while on vacation, I saw ducks in a pond, all in a row. There they were, the embodiment of a phrase my mother frequently used: wait, dear, until I get my ducks in a row. For the first time, I asked myself why I like things so neat and orderly. In my alcoholic family, I was taught that if I did what I was told without question, I would be safer and happier. In my family, Obedience meant following a strict, straight line. I no longer care if my ducks are in a row. Sometimes I prefer they're not. By not forcing my thoughts and feelings into a straight line, I can see all the possibilities. I can explore and be creative, innovative, and adventuresome. The sharings of fellow members, my sponsor, and our literature expand my horizons to encompass unexplored avenues of perception. And action. And today's thought for the day? I no longer need to have my flowers, thoughts, or family members in a row. They are free to be what and who they are, and so am I. And so what this reading reminds me of is a slogan that we have in AA, which is live and let live. And that reminds me that I don't have to control everyone and everything around me. In sobriety, I've learned that trying to change other people, their opinions, or their behavior often leads to frustration, resentment, and unnecessary conflict. Just because someone thinks differently than I do or does something I don't agree with doesn't mean I have to react or try to correct them. I have enough work to do on my own character defects without worrying about everyone else's. But live and let live also works both ways. Just as I need to allow others to be who they are, I need to give myself that same freedom. I don't have to live up to everyone else's expectations of who I should be, how I should act, or what my life should look like. I can accept myself for who I am today, imperfections and all, while continuing to grow in my recovery. Living and letting live means practicing acceptance, patience, tolerance, love, and humility. Both toward others and toward myself. It doesn't mean I have to agree with everything or abandon my own boundaries. It simply means recognizing what is and isn't within my control. And the more I practice that principle, the more peace and serenity I find in my own recovery. And so I hope you enjoyed that last reading from Hope for Today. And even though it's an Al Anon book, I still got something from it, and I hope you did too. And so that's gonna do it for today's episode of Sober Readings. Thank you all for listening. I really hope that you heard something today in the readings or something I said that can help you in your day today. If you'd like to be a guest on Sober Readings, I'd love to have you. You can share your experience, your strength, your hope, your take on today's readings, or we can read another reading that you'd like to talk about. and you can find a link to my email in the show notes below. You'll also find a link in the show notes to my website. soberreadings.com where you can learn more about the show and more about me. Also, if you'd like to drop a dollar in the virtual donation basket for today's readings, at that website, go to the support page and click the button that says drop a dollar in the basket. So if you enjoyed today's episode and want to support Sober Readings, please subscribe to the show and give a like to this episode and it really does help people find the show. So again, thanks for spending a few minutes of your day with me. Be good to yourselves, be good to others, and remember, we're only doing this one day at a time. So just for today, don't drink, go to a meeting, and keep coming back. Have a great day, everyone. And as my friend Larry says, best day ever.