Latest / The Touch of a Mustang / How to Come Back When You’re Too Scared to Ride | Episode 51

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How to Come Back When You’re Too Scared to Ride | Episode 51 · The Touch of a Mustang

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If you want to ride but fear is just holding you back, there's
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absolutely a way around it. You can reach whatever dream or
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goal you have and work to overcome that fear.
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It's not always a quick, instantaneous process, but it is
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absolutely possible if it's something you're committed to.
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And I promise you, when you can get to a point where you can
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move from this very fearful state into the state of freedom
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and wisdom, it is so incredible. There are healers.
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On this planet with the power to soften the suffering of mankind.
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Yet they have remained in the recesses of the world, abused,
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discarded and labeled as trash. This is the touch of a Mustang.
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I am your host, Shalise. Clough and I'm here.
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To tell the story of. Wild horses.
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Mustangs. And the humans who are
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discovering. And sharing their gifts.
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While working to protect their well-being and preserve their
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spirit so. This divine power won't be lost.
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Join us on this quest with The Wild Listen.
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Fear is one of the things that I think inhibits our life more
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than anything else, and it's not real tangible fears.
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It's a lot of the imagined fears, but I want to
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specifically talk about because I have heard that this is a
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struggle for a lot of people and it was definitely a struggle for
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me, The fear of riding and being able to ride your horse as
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safely as possible. When we talk about fear of
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riding, there is a real tangible fear there.
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Horses are by nature different beings from our own.
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They can be unpredictable and things can certainly happen.
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They can be dangerous, and they can especially be dangerous if
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they aren't handled and partnered with in the right way.
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And so a lot of us kind of felt felt like we were carefree as
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children and writing came easy. And then we grew into adults and
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life changed for a lot of women. We became mothers and suddenly
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this thing that we loved is something that is full of fear,
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and that's something that I certainly experience.
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And I want to talk about some of the things I did that helped me
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overcome it, and some of the things that we can just change
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within the horse world so that it is safer, so that fear is not
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so justified, and also so that people can be OK approaching
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horses and managing situations in a way that feels good for
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them. So when I got my Mustang, I did
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not just enjoy looking at her, I most certainly absolutely wanted
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to one day be riding her. That was my dream and I got her
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after a long period without horses.
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I had had several children and we had gotten a free horse for
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the kids to ride and it was really a horse that my kids just
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rode around the Krell for the most part.
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I think I took them out maybe three times and was still kind
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of in my 17 year old mind, which is when I really stopped having
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a lot of time with horses and didn't really think much about
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it. And then he went to a different
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home, a great little retirement home.
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And the reality of having a horse and the dangers associated
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with it got real after I got my Mustang, because suddenly it
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wasn't a horse that was just going to do whatever I wanted
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her to. And I learned very quickly that
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I was going to have to approach things differently.
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But specifically, I had some pretty big setbacks when it came
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to riding her. And I also realized that all
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this time without horses, all this time having children,
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worrying about their safety and benefit and my own so that I
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would be able to take care of them, had created a lot of fear
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and anxiety in me. And the strategies that I had
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learned before weren't effective in helping me feel better.
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I was very aware that I was a woman with physical limitations
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with a lot less strength than even a man would have, and
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certainly lost a lot less strength than my Mustang.
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And as a result, because of how I was taught to do it, how she
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was reacting to how I was taught to do it, and the reactions that
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we were getting, that fear and anxiety, which was already going
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on top of the fear and anxiety I felt from being a mother and
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just worrying about and wanting to protect and care for your
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children. It all built up to where writing
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was a very scary prospect. And I want to share with you a
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little bit of my timeline. And as I do, I'll just kind of
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talk about some of the things that I did.
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So I got my Mustang with six young kids and we worked and
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worked and worked with her on the ground.
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We would just go out there in the afternoons.
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The kids would play around and I would mess around with Sylvani
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trying to figure out what on earth would I I was doing and
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how to make this dream I had with this Mustang come about.
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And we would get really good in the crowd.
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And going outside the crowd was another thing, another challenge
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that we have because it was just a completely different
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experience. This very calm horse was
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suddenly and this very calm person, we were both suddenly
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very on edge. We worked through that and we
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got to a point where we were ready to ride.
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I have never put a first ride on a horse before.
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I really had no idea what I was doing.
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I would not necessarily recommend this.
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I think it would be really good for anybody to have a mentor,
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really walking them through it. And I had some here and there,
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but certainly I could have prepared better.
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And the ones I was working with, I really felt like we had
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prepared and we were ready. And I went to do the first ride.
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And a lot of times I think we aren't actually even aware of
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our anxiety and we don't really feel it until it starts to
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spike. And that's definitely what
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happened. I put my foot in the strip,
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something we'd practice. I swung my leg over and Sylvani
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lost it. I say lost it.
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She was actually pretty calm compared to other rides I've
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seen. But she definitely jumped
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around, did some little bolts, and the second I got up there, I
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just wanted to be off here. It was like this dream.
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I want to try this horse, and I did not want to be on top of her
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anymore. It was too much, too soon.
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We were not prepared enough, but I stayed up there.
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We walked around the corral. I didn't even have a round pen
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at the time, so I was just using the enclosure that they stayed
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in. We walked around.
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She had one more incident where kind of got a little scary for
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me. And then thank heavens, I got
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off and the moment my foot touched the ground, she just
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bolted away from me. And, you know, it wasn't what I
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had envisioned. The people I've been working
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with, I really believed that there was a way to do the first
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ride that was calm and low drama for everybody.
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That's what I was hoping for. That is not what happened.
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And it was pretty scary because I wasn't really prepared.
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It wasn't like I was riding horses everyday.
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She was the only horse I had. Like I didn't have a chance to
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get my saddle back underneath me to kind of feel comfortable in
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horses again before I did this. It sounds absolutely crazy as I
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talk about it, but everything was OK.
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And then I kind of, I posted the video to this training group I
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was a part of and got a lot of feedback and it was all good,
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great feedback. But honestly, it just defeated
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me. I felt like I had messed up,
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felt like she would never forgive me.
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I felt like I hadn't gone too fast too soon and I wasn't even
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aware of it. So I was just completely
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oblivious to all of this and it knocked me down for a while and
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I didn't try a second ride for a long time, like months.
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When I did the second ride, she was perfect and we kind of did a
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good job and progressed from there.
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And this is just us riding in the corral, and I can't remember
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the exact timeline, but some point in between there we got
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another horse. This horse was supposed to be a
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kids horse, great for kids. I saw a video.
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I don't know that I was super impressed, but I had a friend
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who was saying, you know, like, if you don't get this horse, I'm
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going to get it. And I thought, I don't want to
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pass this opportunity up. Part of my goal was to really be
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able to get out on the trails with my kids.
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You need two horses to do that. And so I decided to adopt this
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other horse, sight unseen. I had watched a video seeing
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people riding her. You know, the lady was standing
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on her, which you think that must be great.
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But little tiny clips like that don't come anywhere close to
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telling the full story. So when she arrived, we paid to
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have her transported down. She arrived and I just knew
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right away, like I should not have done this.
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She was in horrible condition. She was skinny, her hooves were
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terrible. And as I began to work with her,
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it was pretty clear that she had very little, very limited
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training. She had very stuck feet.
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She did not want to go anywhere. But the whole time in this mine,
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I'm thinking she's a kids horse. She's a kids horse.
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And so I felt this urgency to kind of prepare her for for
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summer and also because I wasn't approaching her like I did with
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my Mustang, where with my Mustang, I'm very aware of her
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interactions with me, her communication with me.
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And this was just a domestic course that was supposedly
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trained. And I kind of forgot everything
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that I was learning with my Mustang and just kind of said,
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we're going to go for it. So I worked with her, we worked
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in the Crow. And then I finally decided we're
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going to we're going to try the trails.
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And to be honest, I did a lot of things wrong.
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I used bitless bridal that I didn't really know mechanics of.
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I hadn't really practiced with her one.
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And the other problem that I really did was like, I was
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determined this is what we're going to do.
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So I wasn't really open to like, OK, this isn't going our way.
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This probably isn't going to be the right thing to do today.
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And I just decided I'm going to take her out on the trails.
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My husband was, it was early in the morning.
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My husband worked nights so he was at work.
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My oldest was probably 12 and she, you know, I kind of woke
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her up and told her like, hey, I'm taking secret out and I'm
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going to ride her. So I went out to the crawl, got
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her out, got her ready and we started to go away from the
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house. And boy, was I naive.
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The naivety is something that does make horseback riding
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dangerous, and there's a lot of it and there are a lot of ideas
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out there that's really promote just get on the horse, ride it
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out, do whatever you got to do. Sure, who's boss rather than
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like, this is a series of things you need to learn.
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You need to learn how to communicate with the horse.
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You need to be able to sense how the horse is feeling, be able to
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regulate or at least know how you're feeling.
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And I would say these are all things I ignored.
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It was just like, this horse is a kids horse.
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And she was, up to that point, very mellow.
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Like her biggest issue was it was really hard to get her to
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move her feet. She didn't want to move her
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feet. Well, a horse that doesn't want
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to move that is, you know, there's an issue there and that
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should certainly be addressed. But I just kind of ignored it
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because that's an easier problem to deal with than a horse taking
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off with you, a horse fucking with you, anything like that.
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So we turned to leave the area of our property, go out on the
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easement. And all I remember from that is
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her going into a buck and me thinking I'm going off.
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And I definitely did go off. The next vague memories I have
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are walking into the house and going to take a shower.
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And I walked in the house with blood all over me because I had
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hit my head even though I was wearing a helmet.
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And so my poor oldest daughter, you know, sees me walking in
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with a bloody head, calls her dad, and he calls the neighbor.
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He's at work. He's like, can you go over and
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kind of see if it's really this bad?
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I am in and out of having any memory of what's happening.
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I don't even know how conscious I am during all this or how long
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I was out by the horse crawl before I regained consciousness
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and came back in. Long story short, the neighbor
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takes me to the hospital, my husband needs me there, I need
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18 staples in my head with wearing a helmet, have to stay
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the night in the hospital, get an MRI, all those things.
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All in all, not the worst that could happen to you on a horse,
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but not a great experience. I had rib contusions which are
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tremendously painful, way worse than the head injury as far as
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pain goes. And so here I was with a kids
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horse that could have probably killed me if I wasn't wearing a
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helmet. With the amount of damage that
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was done with the helmet, I have no idea what I did, how I hit my
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head, anything that went wrong except that she started bucking
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and I went off. And so I get fixed up here kind
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of my worst case scenario had happened, like I put myself in
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danger and I now have this horse who's clearly not a dead broke
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as we might call him, a horse and a Mustang who's had a few
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rides on her. I think at this point I had
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probably done maybe 4 rides on my Mustang, maybe less, maybe
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only two or three. And it was pretty heartbreaking.
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Like how am I going to do this again?
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You know, rode this quote UN quote kid broke horse, believed
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what people told me about this horse.
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Injured myself pretty badly and I just took a break.
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I was off for quite a while after that, healing, recovering
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and quite honestly trying to build enough confidence back to
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even try again. And you know, eventually I did.
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I'd slow, start slow, slow, slow and go out with the horses stuff
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on the ground. But it was really a huge wake up
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call that riding a horse is not just get on and do it.
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That is not the right way to ride a horse.
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If you want to ride a horse, you have got to learn and you have
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got to realize that every horse is an individual, no matter how
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robotic they may seem. There is a soul and spirit in
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there. There are emotions and feelings
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happening in the body underneath you when you were on a horse.
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And so this was a pretty hard experience, but it was also so
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good to me because I realized like I have got to take a step
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back. I need to stop just going for it
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or just thinking I'm inadequate or I'm just being a scaredy cat
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and I need to just try it and I have to Start learning really
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what it means and how to communicate and pay attention to
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the horse and their needs. It's really a regret I have, but
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also a lesson that I learned. My husband definitely did not
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want us to keep that horse for the kids after that.
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And so I actually had a trainer come in, I didn't even want to
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get on her again and kind of help tune her up quote UN quote
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a little bit. And then she was actually sold
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to another trainer. And you know, the regret really
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being I wish I could have had her when I knew more, when I
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knew to trust people and their advice less and to trust the
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horse and what the horse was telling me more.
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So as you can imagine, after that, my confidence was pretty
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much shot. Just lack of confidence in
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myself. A real wake up call at how
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dangerous horses can be and how things can change in just a
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split second. And the whole time with horses
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and getting my Mustang, it was really a process of me working
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through a lot of anxiety and I kind of went back to square one.
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Like I need to step back and really go little by little.
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Start with the little things, not try to make these jumps
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that, I mean, clearly if you're having an accident on a horse,
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either you or the horse or most likely both of you were not
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ready for whatever was happening.
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And I needed to really take a step back.
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I needed to tune into what I felt was right instead of
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following the advice that a lot of people would give.
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You know, I think if it was even me having ridden, I might have
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stayed on. If it was a man with more
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strength, he probably could have pulled her out of the buck.
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So there are situations where people can be OK, just like
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jumping on and riding it out. That's not how I want to
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interact with my horse, and that's certainly not a risk that
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I'm willing to take anymore. And so there's a lot of lessons
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I learned about just fear and riding horses and that sometimes
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we need to overcome it and sometimes we need to listen to
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that fear. And I would say most of the time
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if you are having fear and anxiety, that is absolutely a
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signal. But that's where you need to
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stop. You might have fear and anxiety
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even though you know, as far as you know, your horse is
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incredibly safe. And that is still a point that
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saying you need to step back a little bit and you need to start
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where you're comfortable, not just jump into the sphere
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because you know you could have this great horse and you jump on
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terrified. That horse is going to sense
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that if it's a horse that has experienced a lot, maybe totally
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fine doesn't react to that. There are definitely horses out
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there like that, but if it is a horse that is sensitive to the
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interplay between him and you, that horse will sense that and
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it's going to affect their reactions, very likely could
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create concern in them. It's going to change the
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experience versus if I'm really confident well versed rider were
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to get on that horse, it would be a different experience.
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We have to recognize that we are half of the experience when we
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ride a horse. We are half of the feedback that
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both beings are getting. We are 1/2 of everything that
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happens. It's very, very popular in the
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horse world to blame the horse. Stupid horse, stubborn horse,
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bad horse, disrespectful horse. All these labels that we put on
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it, that's easy to do. It makes us feel better.
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It allows us to look away from ourselves and see the horse is a
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problem and not of ourselves. If you are having a problem with
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your horse, you are at least half the problem.
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And that's where I think the fear of writing really needs to
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start. You have to start with where
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you're feeling that fear. A rule that I really follow when
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I am moving into something new, something uncomfortable, is to
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find where you're still comfortable and then take a
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small step beyond that. A small step, not a huge
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gigantic leap that you're not ready for.
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And so maybe you are fearful as soon as you mount the horse.
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My suggestion would be step back and look at exactly where that
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fear kicks in. Can you put your foot in the
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stirrup without having anxiety that something's going to
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happen? If you can't do that, you're
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going too far. Can you walk your horse around
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your property without fear that something's going to happen?
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There are absolutely times that I could not do that.
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We walk everywhere now. It's completely possible to
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overcome. There were times where just
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walking my horse around, I was just bracing for an explosion.
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And then they're probably looking at me thinking you're
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terrified. So I also feel terrified.
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So that's where I had to start. So start where you can feel that
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discomfort come and then get comfortable in that place.
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Get to where you feel really solid.
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If you're feeling anxiety putting your foot in the
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stirrup, do that every day repetitively until you do that
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and you don't even give it a second pot and then swing your
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leg up in the saddle while at the same time paying attention
22:25
to the horse. Is a horse ready for you to
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swing your leg up in the saddle? My first ride on my Mustang, she
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clearly was not ready for me to swing my leg up in the saddle.
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I had sat on her off the fence. I had done some other things I
22:40
had not necessarily prepared well in that way.
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I think that's probably something that really set her
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off. That was a trigger of fear for
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both of us. And don't be afraid to start
22:50
small. It's so true that if you can
22:52
build a really good foundation, that's going to be so much
22:54
better. And that's a foundation of
22:56
personal confidence too, in understanding.
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Like I can read the horse, I am pretty confident, I know how to
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interpret their body language. I can tell when my horse is
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worried and I can overcome that. Aside from finding that area
23:12
where discomfort starts and really working to make that a
23:14
comfortable place, the other really important thing is ignore
23:20
the advice to push too far too soon.
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There is a lot of advice like that.
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You never get off when your horse is upset.
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If you get thrown off, get right back on.
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These are just two of the things that in my opinion, are
23:35
absolutely horrible advice and are very likely to lead to
23:39
accidents. It is OK to get off your horse.
23:45
It's OK to get off your horse right after you got on your
23:47
horse. It's OK to get off your horse 5
23:50
minutes down the road when you realize you're super nervous or
23:53
you can see that your horse is not comfortable in this
23:57
experience. It's OK to get off your horse
24:01
after you've been on it for three hours and suddenly you're
24:04
on a narrow trail and they're dancing around.
24:07
It is OK to get off your horse and walk for a while.
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There is a misnomer that if you get your horse, get off your
24:16
horse, they're going to take that as a reward and you'll
24:19
never be able to ride them. Now, they horses are smart.
24:24
They can influence our behavior. Absolutely.
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They have a very good mind. If the same situation happens
24:33
again and again, say you are going down the road, there's a
24:38
Rock, You hit it, your horse is scared, you get off and welcome
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the rest of the way, then yeah. If you do that every time for 20
24:46
times, that may become a learned behavior, but it is not going to
24:50
become a learned behavior when it is not repeated so
24:55
consistently with the exact same circumstances.
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I often get off my horse and walk them.
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I get off my horse and walk home when I have one of my kids with
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me to make sure that I can kind of watch everything that's going
25:07
on. It is OK to get off your horse.
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And there has not been one time where I have gotten off my horse
25:14
because the situation became a little precarious or I wanted to
25:17
walk them past the barking dogs rather than ride them.
25:21
That I was not then able to get back on my horse later.
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Most of the time, actually, I can't think of a time that this
25:29
has happened any differently. I get off my horse and it
25:33
immediately helps them to calm down and we walk until however
25:38
far I feel comfortable and I will get back on my horse.
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I do think that an important piece of that is, yes, return to
25:45
that comfort and then return to where you were, even if it's for
25:49
five seconds, you know, get off your horse, find a place you're
25:53
more comfortable with, get back on and ride for a little bit.
25:56
That's for both of you to restore confidence, to keep
26:01
progression going. And so it's absolutely OK to get
26:05
off your horse. The second piece that I don't
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think it's great advice is if you ever get off your horse, get
26:12
right back on. I do think you need to get back
26:15
on. If you let something go too
26:18
long, it can get really big in your head, a lot bigger and
26:21
scarier than you think it is. If you're out on the trail and
26:25
your horse bucks and you go off, you may not need to get back on
26:31
on the trail. But I would definitely say get
26:34
home, go on the crowd somewhere where you feel really safe and
26:37
comfortable and get back on the horse for your sake, for their
26:41
sake, for you both recognize like everything's OK.
26:44
We're OK. We're still learning, we're
26:46
still able to progress. I think the biggest problem with
26:51
fear is that we don't know how to read our fear.
26:57
We can't tell when our fear is in irrational and we can't tell
27:02
when we should be listening to our intuition.
27:06
And it's kind of telling us something is off.
27:09
But the good thing is that's a skill we can get more
27:12
comfortable with. There are a lot of things you
27:15
can put in place to get to where you're comfortable.
27:19
It's really important to note that it's not just your comfort
27:22
that it's important. It's also important that the
27:26
horse is feeling comfortable and the horse is feeling like they
27:31
are doing good. It's important for you to be
27:33
able to read that, to see that in your horse.
27:35
When I go out with my kids, we will often walk down our
27:39
driveway first and I always tell them, like, how is she feeling?
27:43
How is he acting? Does it seem like he's
27:45
comfortable? Does it seem like he's
27:48
listening? That is a big clue to me.
27:51
If my horse is listening, they're thinking about me.
27:54
We're having a conversation. There are times when something
27:58
catches their attention and they're gone.
28:00
I can tell that they're not listening.
28:03
There was a time that I was going to go out riding with a
28:07
friend and my daughter, his kids, their horses on the trail
28:11
and the horse my daughter was riding was doing pretty good.
28:14
Sylvan name was so worked up. She was not listening to
28:17
anything and I'm pretty sure that he did not think much of
28:23
me, but I ended up walking her. We walked on this trail ride and
28:29
she was worked up the whole time, but I could just tell
28:31
she's not listening to me. I could probably have stayed on.
28:34
We probably could have kept up. And, you know, some other people
28:38
could have ridden her and gotten out of her out of that anxious
28:42
state. I think that's not a position
28:46
I'm in in my life again. Like it's, I really don't want
28:50
to get hurt. That is a high priority for me.
28:53
And so it's important for me to do things in a way that I feel
28:57
good about. That's another consideration.
29:00
Someone else may be able to ride your horse.
29:03
If when you try to ride things are going bad, you might not.
29:07
Whether that's you need to control your anxiety, whether
29:11
you need to work on skills. A lot of times we think I should
29:15
be able to do this, when in fact, we're really not ready to
29:18
do it. And so we ignore that and we do
29:22
it anyway. And then something bad happens.
29:25
It is really important to be able to to fill and overcome a
29:30
little bit of fear. It is really important to be
29:32
able to think rationally about what's happening.
29:37
Am I really putting myself in danger?
29:39
Some things I do, I always wear a helmet now after that
29:42
accident, you know, for me. And I always make my kids.
29:46
It's just not worth the risk. Even if my horses are solid, if
29:50
we've been riding them often and things have been great, you
29:54
know, your brain's pretty important.
29:57
And that was a very big reminder to me.
30:02
When that happened to me, I was wearing a helmet and I still got
30:05
18 staples in my head. The helmet was cracked.
30:09
If that had been complete impact, it definitely could have
30:13
been a lot worse. So there are things that we can
30:17
do to ensure safety, but I do think absolutely the most
30:21
important thing is to really learn how to read and
30:25
communicate with your horse. That is a hard skill to learn.
30:32
It's not one that's taught very much.
30:36
A lot of times we don't listen to the horse until there's a big
30:40
reaction, but there's so much communication that can go on
30:44
before them. So to leave you with a few
30:47
things to just keep in mind. If you are someone who really
30:51
has this desire to do something, even if it's something different
30:54
from horses, but also is, but also have this fear and anxiety
30:59
that you are dealing with. First of all, I have been there.
31:03
It is absolutely possible to overcome.
31:08
I can tell you that no matter how much you try, it does not
31:14
guarantee the outcome. You can be very skilled rider,
31:18
very skilled communicator with your horse.
31:21
Something can still happen. If you're going to ride a horse,
31:26
I really do think you have to accept some inherent risk.
31:31
Same as driving a car, right? Life is dangerous and there is a
31:37
possibility that something could not go right.
31:40
It does happen. That's just reality.
31:43
I think it's important to be clear on that.
31:46
There may be some cowboy who's done all kinds of crazy stuff
31:50
and nothing bad's ever happened, and that's who you're getting
31:53
advice from and the way he does things works for him.
31:58
That doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to work for you.
32:01
You might read on some forum online that you know this
32:06
particular approach worked for everybody.
32:08
If it doesn't feel good for you, if you can't get on your horse
32:12
and feel like this is going to be a safe, good experience for
32:15
both of us, you might need to take a step back.
32:19
Try and find some other strategies, maybe find some
32:22
other mentors, see some different things you can do.
32:27
I absolutely do think it is so beneficial to have a mentor or a
32:33
friend, someone else who can also give you some good
32:36
feedback. That doesn't mean take it Willy
32:39
nilly 100%. That just means you have another
32:42
set of eyes and experience ears and emotions and feelings
32:47
involved in this situation. They might see something that
32:50
you miss, and I think it's important when you are looking
32:54
for someone like that, that you find someone who aligns with the
32:57
way you want to do things. If you are in a place where you
33:00
can take more risk, you're young, you don't have kids,
33:03
you've been on a horse a lot. That might be a totally
33:06
different experience. You probably do want a different
33:08
mentor than someone like me who was, you know, out of riding
33:13
horses for probably 10 years or more and had children, had more
33:21
responsibilities, not really in a life space to take so much
33:26
risk, but still with this really intense desire.
33:29
Tried horses again. And two really important pieces
33:34
that I think will help anyone that I've talked about that I
33:37
just want to finish with. Learn how to communicate with
33:41
yourself. Learn how to listen to your fear
33:43
and anxiety, how to recognize when something is a real
33:48
legitimate fear and when it's something that you've just
33:52
worked up in your head. Pay attention to those.
33:55
Learn to recognize those differences.
33:57
It's not easy. It really just takes practice
34:00
and awareness and some internal focus on what am I feeling?
34:06
Why am I feeling this? Come to know yourself and what
34:11
you're capable and where you have limitations, where you
34:13
might need to go and learn more. And then the second thing is
34:17
really come to learn your horse. If you're not sure how to do
34:21
this, the best place to start is how does your horse react when
34:26
you approach them? Are you paying attention?
34:29
Do they come to you? Do they go to the farthest
34:31
corner of the corral? Do they come to you and then
34:34
leave? Do they come to you But see the
34:36
bridle? That's where you start to
34:38
communicate with your horse. Another one that's really
34:40
common, what does your horse do when you reach up to touch their
34:44
face? Ignore what our horse does.
34:47
I definitely have in the past. Sometimes I still catch myself.
34:51
A lot of times I'll reach up to touch one of my horses and they
34:56
pull away and so then I just put my hand out.
34:58
And when I put my hand out and just change, that small thing
35:02
changes their entire reaction. Now they'll come to me, they'll
35:05
ask for attention and touch and so come to know your horse.
35:10
Don't wait until it's a buck or a bolt.
35:13
Know when their body changes. I have a horse who is more on
35:17
the anxious side. He's very malleable, he's very
35:21
easy to guide and he will listen to you as long as you can be
35:24
that strong leader. But he can switch really fast to
35:29
where it's like 1 minute he's fine and then the next minute
35:32
he's terrified. He'll even do this by getting
35:34
himself independent without a rider.
35:37
He will get himself into situations where he's fine one
35:40
minute and then all of a sudden he's kind of like, what did I?
35:42
What situation did I just get myself into?
35:46
So for him, his cues aren't as clear.
35:49
You really have to pay attention to his ears, to the tension in
35:53
his body. You need to be able to start
35:55
feeling those things. That's why it can be so great to
35:58
start so, so slow. To start in a corral, in a small
36:02
enclosed space, in a round pen. I haven't always had around
36:05
pens. I don't have one now.
36:07
There are other ways to still create a safe environment.
36:10
Start so very slow. Really pay attention.
36:14
The more you can gather in those early times, the faster you'll
36:19
learn and the faster you'll get to your goals.
36:22
So if you want to ride but fear is just holding you back,
36:29
there's absolutely a way around it.
36:32
And if you feel like you need more help or assistance, there's
36:36
so many people willing to help. You can definitely contact me.
36:40
We can have a conversation. I can offer some advice, but you
36:44
can reach whatever it is, whatever dream or goal you have,
36:49
and work to overcome that fear. It's it's not always a quick,
36:52
instantaneous process, but it is absolutely possible if it's
36:57
something you're committed to. And I promise you, when you can
37:01
get to a point where you can move from this very fearful
37:05
state into the state of freedom and wisdom, it is so incredible.
37:10
I remember the first time I rode my Mustang out of the krill.
37:15
It was hilarious. My daughter was there.
37:17
I was like videotape it. I was feeling good.
37:21
I rode her out of the krill and I was absolutely a mess.
37:25
I was shaking. I could just feel the tension in
37:28
my body. And my sweet Mustang, she was
37:30
just perfect. She walked over and ate some
37:33
weeds. And that was literally my goal
37:34
for the day. We're going to walk out of the
37:36
krill. And that very little step helped
37:40
me realize like I have a lot of attention I still need to
37:42
resolve. And so it became a process of
37:45
how am I going to address that and where are we going to go
37:47
from here? And I think that's what it is.
37:50
Small, small steps in the direction that you want to go
37:54
for fear. That's a huge, huge guide.
37:57
It's a huge, huge way to move forward.
38:00
But it's true for everything. Like focus on the small,
38:03
minuscule steps. Do them very, very well and it
38:07
will help you progress down the line.
38:09
Thank you for joining us and learning.
38:11
About horses that heal and the humans who help them.
38:14
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38:39
Remember that the horse is always there to help you.