Latest / Two Broke Chicks / Chicks Chat: F*ck Boys, Opposites Attract & The Three Big Words
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land, Always was, always
- 0:03Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.
- 0:12Speaker 2: Hey Chicks, I'm so and this is Two Broke Chicks,
- 0:14Speaker 2: the show that shares life lessons and tips to help
- 0:16Speaker 2: make you rich in life. And we are back for
- 0:19Speaker 2: one of our absolute favorite episodes of the month, chicks
- 0:23Speaker 2: Chat Advice with the Chicks. We asked you, chickies, to
- 0:26Speaker 2: send in your dilemmas Dilemma with a twist.
- 0:31Speaker 3: Yes, so we asked you to send your dilemmas that
- 0:35Speaker 3: could literally be in a book, or a movie or
- 0:39Speaker 3: a television show.
- 0:40Speaker 4: We wanted the jelty jelsey.
- 0:42Speaker 2: Yeah, we want like the book tropes but in real life.
- 0:45Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm like they had to come from somewhere.
- 0:48Speaker 3: But yeah, I'm really excited to get into these. Should
- 0:50Speaker 3: we just jump straight in?
- 0:51Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do it.
- 0:52Speaker 4: Okay, hit me with your best shot.
- 0:54Speaker 2: Okay, Dilemma number one. I slept with a notorious fuck.
- 1:00Speaker 5: Yes, this is what I wanted.
- 1:04Speaker 2: Rookie mistake, I know, But in my defense, I am
- 1:08Speaker 2: really good at casual flings and don't ever get attacked.
- 1:11Speaker 2: Oh I gotta have a crush on you.
- 1:13Speaker 4: I don't know if I believe it.
- 1:16Speaker 2: Okay, Oh okay. Maybe as a psychologist in training, I
- 1:20Speaker 2: know a lot about the law of attraction and the
- 1:22Speaker 2: science behind wanting what you can't have.
- 1:25Speaker 4: Oh shit, she's out fucking the fucker.
- 1:27Speaker 2: Where I like that? Oh okay. After sleeping with this guy,
- 1:33Speaker 2: I became completely aloof and didn't care, and he kept
- 1:37Speaker 2: puffing up.
- 1:38Speaker 5: They always they always do.
- 1:41Speaker 2: I got the ick from this f boy as I
- 1:43Speaker 2: was playing his own game better than him, and I
- 1:46Speaker 2: felt so cool doing Oh my god, she's a fuck girl.
- 1:49Speaker 2: I love it as I knew he's done it to
- 1:52Speaker 2: so many women. My dilemma is can a fuck boy
- 1:57Speaker 2: be reformed? He keeps on my way and I keep
- 2:01Speaker 2: turning him down. If I give in and let him
- 2:04Speaker 2: take me on a date, I risk starting to fall
- 2:07Speaker 2: for him and him getting the satisfaction and then dipping.
- 2:12Speaker 2: Most of my mates are saying don't give in, but
- 2:15Speaker 2: some I kind of thinking. We have heaps in common
- 2:18Speaker 2: and are both really good at casual, so maybe we've
- 2:21Speaker 2: both met our match. Side note obsessed with the pod chickys.
- 2:25Speaker 4: Love you Babe, love you two. Oh my god, I
- 2:29Speaker 4: have so many thoughts.
- 2:31Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your first thought?
- 2:32Speaker 4: What's your first response.
- 2:34Speaker 3: My first thought was that you can't develop feelings when
- 2:39Speaker 3: like you're not being yourself. So it's like you can't
- 2:44Speaker 3: kind of base what would be on the current situation
- 2:48Speaker 3: because you're like, not to me, not to say that
- 2:52Speaker 3: she's not being herself, but it's like not how you
- 2:54Speaker 3: would act if you were, like, you're purposely being aloof
- 2:57Speaker 3: she's purposely like playing hard to get.
- 3:00Speaker 5: If you will, you've put.
- 3:01Speaker 2: A wall up for any real kind of connection.
- 3:04Speaker 3: Yeah, and kind of manipulated the situation so that he's
- 3:09Speaker 3: like foaming at.
- 3:10Speaker 4: The mouth, which like.
- 3:15Speaker 5: Is palpable.
- 3:16Speaker 3: Yeah, but I also completely understand her thing of like
- 3:20Speaker 3: what happens if I bring the wall down and I
- 3:24Speaker 3: get feelings for him, and then that means he's no
- 3:26Speaker 3: longer interested. I kind of think, well, thank god, you.
- 3:29Speaker 5: Dodged a bullet.
- 3:30Speaker 3: Then, like, if that's like if he's only interested because
- 3:35Speaker 3: you're playing hard to get, and then second you stop
- 3:37Speaker 3: playing hard to get. I know that's like not exactly
- 3:40Speaker 3: the right term of phrase, because that's not all what
- 3:43Speaker 3: you're doing. You're just like keeping a distance and not
- 3:45Speaker 3: being like wow obsessed. But yeah, you never know what
- 3:49Speaker 3: it's going to be. But if the second you actually
- 3:52Speaker 3: open up and want to get someone to spend time
- 3:54Speaker 3: with him, that he goes, oh, well this isn't worth
- 3:56Speaker 3: it anymore.
- 3:57Speaker 4: Then, like, thank goodness she found out early.
- 4:01Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 4:02Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like maybe you could let the wall down
- 4:05Speaker 2: ever so slightly, but not and then away not the
- 4:08Speaker 2: whole fun, is it? Yeah, and like go on the
- 4:12Speaker 2: date and see how he behaves and treats you and
- 4:15Speaker 2: if he shows any red flags of like continuing to
- 4:18Speaker 2: be a fuck boy, or it's like all right, well
- 4:20Speaker 2: I've got what I want. Now I don't Now I'm
- 4:22Speaker 2: not interested. Then you know, like all right, well let's
- 4:25Speaker 2: really wrap it up right. It's definitely.
- 4:28Speaker 5: What did she say at the start about the.
- 4:30Speaker 4: Sex, She didn't really say anything. She said, I slept
- 4:35Speaker 4: with an F boy.
- 4:37Speaker 2: She said, I slept with a notorious F boy. Rookie mistake,
- 4:40Speaker 2: I know, but in my defense, I'm really good at
- 4:42Speaker 2: casual flings and don't ever get attached. So she didn't
- 4:45Speaker 2: describe the actual sex.
- 4:47Speaker 5: But I would like some details in that.
- 4:49Speaker 2: EARI Yeah, because that maybe act response.
- 4:53Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm I'm gonna make the editorial decision for us
- 4:58Speaker 3: that it was mind blowing for both of them. Well,
- 5:01Speaker 3: he wouldn't be you know, hanging around if it wasn't. Yeah,
- 5:08Speaker 3: that's the.
- 5:08Speaker 2: Thing that it's like. He but she said that he's
- 5:11Speaker 2: treated so many other women and that might again.
- 5:15Speaker 5: That's a thing.
- 5:16Speaker 2: He's like, do you want to put yourself through that?
- 5:18Speaker 4: Put yourself through that.
- 5:20Speaker 3: Or like even date someone that we don't know the
- 5:23Speaker 3: details of, like how he navigated those relationships with other women,
- 5:27Speaker 3: but like, do you want to date someone who maybe
- 5:29Speaker 3: hasn't been respectful to other women's feelings. I'm not saying
- 5:32Speaker 3: that's a situation because we don't have those details, but
- 5:34Speaker 3: like if it has been like quite a fuckboy situation
- 5:38Speaker 3: of just like you know, sleeping with someone and then
- 5:41Speaker 3: like not really being conscious of their feelings, that's probably
- 5:44Speaker 3: not someone that has super long term potential unless they
- 5:51Speaker 3: Oh she was saying can a fuck boy beer reform?
- 5:53Speaker 5: Wow?
- 5:53Speaker 2: That's the thing, And our wonderful producer actually shared an
- 6:00Speaker 2: interesting insight people. So in response to can a fuck
- 6:06Speaker 2: boy really change? So, specialist psychologist and self identifying lesbian
- 6:11Speaker 2: fuck boy lover Lauren Haywood, Yes, you read that right.
- 6:16Speaker 5: I love her?
- 6:17Speaker 2: How funny is that?
- 6:18Speaker 3: Oh?
- 6:19Speaker 4: My God.
- 6:20Speaker 2: So, she says fuck boys often act the way they
- 6:22Speaker 2: do because that's the behavior that was modeled to them
- 6:25Speaker 2: from their parents or other trusted adults. She also says
- 6:29Speaker 2: the hot and cold behavior can represent a desire to
- 6:32Speaker 2: be close with someone, but an inability to know how
- 6:34Speaker 2: to effectively let emotional barriers down, or a particular discomfort
- 6:39Speaker 2: with feeling vulnerable. Right, and then she also says that
- 6:43Speaker 2: many fuck boys fall into the anxious avoidant attachment style.
- 6:47Speaker 3: I was gonna say that, I think it's disorganized. It's
- 6:50Speaker 3: called disorganized attachment, and it's the mix of anxious and avoidant.
- 6:54Speaker 2: Yeah, like stand offish at first, but then you can
- 6:57Speaker 2: push through like the hardened exterior maybe to get into
- 7:00Speaker 2: a soft, gooey center potential potentially.
- 7:03Speaker 3: Yeah. Disorganized is like they'll like have the ability to
- 7:09Speaker 3: emotionally connect, but then when you emotionally connect, then they're
- 7:13Speaker 3: like no, no, no. It's like when they give you
- 7:16Speaker 3: a fore head kiss, right, and it's like, if we're
- 7:20Speaker 3: not married, don't do that.
- 7:23Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like the most what's the word that's like
- 7:27Speaker 2: the most intimate thing?
- 7:28Speaker 3: Yeah, four hair kiss, as well as washing someone's hair. Yeah, yeah, boy,
- 7:35Speaker 3: washing your hair is like literally the most intimate thing
- 7:37Speaker 3: that could possibly happen.
- 7:38Speaker 2: Yeah, ever, literally, but it's home run.
- 7:41Speaker 3: But I think that's like the thing that especially happens
- 7:44Speaker 3: with quote unquote fuck boys. It's like you spend time
- 7:47Speaker 3: with them and it feels like really connected or I
- 7:51Speaker 3: mean sometimes it's just like three am in a root
- 7:53Speaker 3: in a boot, but it's like you spend time with
- 7:56Speaker 3: them and you really like them, and you're like, we
- 7:58Speaker 3: have such a good time together, and then I don't
- 7:59Speaker 3: hear them for like five days.
- 8:01Speaker 5: Why I don't hear from them at all?
- 8:03Speaker 4: And you're like, what happened?
- 8:07Speaker 2: That's a tricky one. I think you need to ask yourself,
- 8:09Speaker 2: what do you like about this person?
- 8:10Speaker 5: Do you like him?
- 8:11Speaker 2: Yeah? Like is it his personality? Is it the connection
- 8:14Speaker 2: that you have? Is it like the sex and the intimacy?
- 8:17Speaker 3: Is it because he's like he's got this little like
- 8:21Speaker 3: the throwing at the fuck boy charisma?
- 8:24Speaker 5: Do you want the badge of taming the beast?
- 8:28Speaker 4: Is that what you want of the true taming of
- 8:30Speaker 4: the true?
- 8:32Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 8:32Speaker 3: Exactly, like without the chase, what's there? Yeah, because at
- 8:37Speaker 3: the end of the day, you're going to get puffed out.
- 8:40Speaker 4: Yeah, Yeah, it's true.
- 8:59Speaker 5: Okay, next time.
- 9:00Speaker 2: Yep.
- 9:00Speaker 3: I've been dating my partner for seven years and he
- 9:03Speaker 3: never says I love you. What he says he doesn't
- 9:08Speaker 3: need to because it's a given, even though.
- 9:11Speaker 4: I say I'd like to hear it.
- 9:13Speaker 3: No, I'm laughing because Sales shaking her head, not because
- 9:16Speaker 3: I think this is fine. When I say it to him,
- 9:19Speaker 3: he doesn't say it back. I've only heard it from
- 9:22Speaker 3: him in the first year or so of our relationship.
- 9:26Speaker 3: At what point do I start to think that he
- 9:29Speaker 3: actually just doesn't love me?
- 9:32Speaker 2: No, I hate that. Oh my god, that is so
- 9:39Speaker 2: fucking shit, as like are words of affirmation slash every
- 9:44Speaker 2: love language, girly.
- 9:45Speaker 4: That would really really hurt me.
- 9:48Speaker 2: But I'm also like there would be some people out
- 9:52Speaker 2: there who that would be enough for them, Like there
- 9:54Speaker 2: would be some person out there who would be like,
- 9:57Speaker 2: I show my partner that I love.
- 9:59Speaker 4: I love I don't need to say it all the time.
- 10:01Speaker 3: Yeah, but I just my encounter to that is like,
- 10:04Speaker 3: but you don't have to need to say it.
- 10:07Speaker 2: It's because you want it, because you want to.
- 10:10Speaker 3: And I think it doesn't matter if you say I
- 10:12Speaker 3: love you once a day, once like ten times a day.
- 10:19Speaker 3: It's the fact that that's just what you want to say, Like,
- 10:22Speaker 3: it doesn't make it mean any less if you say
- 10:24Speaker 3: it once a year or a thousand times a day,
- 10:27Speaker 3: which is the minimum for me. I dated a guy
- 10:33Speaker 3: that really didn't say I love you that often, and
- 10:36Speaker 3: at the time, I like brainwashed myself into thinking, oh, no,
- 10:40Speaker 3: it's just because like when he says it, he really
- 10:43Speaker 3: means it, And I'm like, but don't you really mean
- 10:47Speaker 3: it all the time, and like maybe I'm just needy
- 10:50Speaker 3: for that, but it's like maybe maybe, but it's like okay,
- 10:56Speaker 3: then lock me up, Like I want to my.
- 11:00Speaker 4: Partner say I love you every day.
- 11:03Speaker 3: Whenever Rob and I are like going to bed, I
- 11:05Speaker 3: always go to bed and I go like, I love
- 11:06Speaker 3: you and he says it.
- 11:08Speaker 2: Bat Like yeah, I'm a firm believer that like every
- 11:11Speaker 2: time you say goodbye to somebody that you care about,
- 11:14Speaker 2: you should say I love you to that.
- 11:16Speaker 3: We say I love you all the time to each
- 11:18Speaker 3: other and it doesn't mean it doesn't make it any
- 11:21Speaker 3: less in those moments that you know we've had really
- 11:25Speaker 3: like I love that. It's about your me now, Like
- 11:27Speaker 3: when we've had like really special moments like maybe we're
- 11:30Speaker 3: watching the fireworks at Disneyland, or we just did our
- 11:32Speaker 3: first live show and we have those moments and I'm like,
- 11:35Speaker 3: I'm so proud of you. I love you like that,
- 11:39Speaker 3: like you just knowing those moments that that in that moment,
- 11:41Speaker 3: it's really like a yeah, but.
- 11:48Speaker 4: Inside your skin, yeah normal stuff. Yeah, obviously, well no
- 11:53Speaker 4: one else does that.
- 11:54Speaker 2: But that's kind of like what I was saying before,
- 11:56Speaker 2: is that I know that there are some people out
- 11:58Speaker 2: there who genuinely are like I don't need my partner
- 12:02Speaker 2: to say I love you every single day. I know
- 12:04Speaker 2: that in the same way that I know that some
- 12:06Speaker 2: people like I don't need to be I don't need
- 12:08Speaker 2: to hug yeah people every single time I see them.
- 12:11Speaker 4: But sorry, I keep going.
- 12:12Speaker 2: I was just gonna say, if you, but if you
- 12:15Speaker 2: are the sort of person that does need to be told,
- 12:18Speaker 2: which she is, but she's saying that she is, like,
- 12:21Speaker 2: what's the harm It costs zero dollars?
- 12:24Speaker 4: Literally, what's so harmon?
- 12:26Speaker 3: Like? And I understand that some times it's more of
- 12:31Speaker 3: a source of discomfort. Like we were talking about attachment
- 12:34Speaker 3: styles that like saying I love you can be a
- 12:36Speaker 3: lot of work for some people, as like an internal thing,
- 12:40Speaker 3: and that's okay. But if a partner has expressed that they,
- 12:43Speaker 3: you know, feel this way about it, it's about working
- 12:46Speaker 3: towards happiness for both of you and being vulnerable and
- 12:50Speaker 3: saying like, you know, like it's been. It makes me
- 12:53Speaker 3: feel quite vulnerable. I do feel that way about you,
- 12:57Speaker 3: but you know, saying it is sometimes a bit of
- 12:59Speaker 3: a struggle for me.
- 13:00Speaker 5: I don't know.
- 13:02Speaker 3: But on the flip side as well, I do think
- 13:05Speaker 3: you can also have the opposite end where someone's going
- 13:11Speaker 3: I love you, I love you, I love you, and
- 13:13Speaker 3: there's zero action behind it.
- 13:16Speaker 2: Love bombing.
- 13:17Speaker 3: Yeah, like love saying I love you is not just
- 13:21Speaker 3: something that's said, it's something it's shown.
- 13:24Speaker 5: And I don't even know.
- 13:27Speaker 2: If she really has gone into that.
- 13:30Speaker 3: Has gone into that and said he said he doesn't
- 13:34Speaker 3: need to because it's a given, even though I'd say
- 13:37Speaker 3: I'd like to hear it.
- 13:39Speaker 2: But the thing is, I.
- 13:40Speaker 3: Think and this is just me guessing that she likes
- 13:44Speaker 3: she wants to hear it, because she's also not being
- 13:47Speaker 3: shown it. So like the verbal affirmation, the words of
- 13:51Speaker 3: affirmation is also not being shown through other love languages
- 13:55Speaker 3: of like quality time or acts of service.
- 13:59Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, gifts. Also, it's not a given. Lots of
- 14:05Speaker 2: people exist in loveless relationships, like it is not a given.
- 14:09Speaker 2: And I know that people have different love languages and
- 14:12Speaker 2: that's okay.
- 14:13Speaker 3: To have to ask your partner to say I love
- 14:15Speaker 3: you more is not a fun thing to navigate, and
- 14:18Speaker 3: I really feel for her, but to.
- 14:20Speaker 2: Have them not listen and even try is what makes
- 14:23Speaker 2: it even harder. So I think bring it up with
- 14:28Speaker 2: him again, absolutely, and explain how it makes you feel,
- 14:32Speaker 2: and like maybe ask him like why don't you want
- 14:36Speaker 2: to say it?
- 14:36Speaker 3: And I don't feel like it's a given because and
- 14:39Speaker 3: it's more even more like even saying I'd like to
- 14:42Speaker 3: hear it kind of keeps it as this like open thing.
- 14:47Speaker 4: And there's a friend once said a way to.
- 14:53Speaker 5: Kind of tell people what you want from them.
- 14:56Speaker 3: And when she said that phrase, I was like, I'm
- 14:58Speaker 3: going to use that. And it was more in a
- 15:01Speaker 3: friendship and she was, you know, not getting invited to
- 15:05Speaker 3: something from a friend because they'd made new friends and
- 15:07Speaker 3: they were hanging out with other people and they weren't
- 15:09Speaker 3: inbiting her, and she said to her friend, that wasn't
- 15:12Speaker 3: inviting her. I value feeling included and thought of in
- 15:18Speaker 3: my friendships, and so that I think is a perfect
- 15:22Speaker 3: way to communicate this is what I need and value
- 15:28Speaker 3: and this is what that makes me feel like.
- 15:30Speaker 4: It makes me feel good when that happens.
- 15:32Speaker 3: So going to him and saying I feel valued when
- 15:37Speaker 3: I'm told and shown that I'm loved, That's how I
- 15:41Speaker 3: feel value in this. You know, I value feeling told
- 15:46Speaker 3: that I'm loved and showing that I'm loved in a relationship.
- 15:50Speaker 3: That's what I find, you know, the value in and
- 15:54Speaker 3: the happiness in. And maybe propositioning it that way or
- 15:58Speaker 3: positioning it that way can maybe make that key turn.
- 16:04Speaker 2: Yeah, might make him understand it a little bit more.
- 16:07Speaker 2: But you deserve to be told that you are loved.
- 16:10Speaker 4: We love you, Check, I love you. Yeah, I love you, Jane,
- 16:15Speaker 4: I love you, Deis.
- 16:17Speaker 3: I've never loved look, I loved you for you shopped
- 16:20Speaker 3: and shop.
- 16:21Speaker 2: Wow. Okay, should we move on to dilemma three number? Okay?
- 16:48Speaker 2: This week our sponsor is Prime Videos new series Off Campus,
- 16:52Speaker 2: So we wanted to find some real life dating dilemmas
- 16:55Speaker 2: that could become their own book. Let's get into this
- 16:59Speaker 2: next dilemma found one Okay, I need help settling a debate. Oh,
- 17:05Speaker 2: dip me in because my friends are divided. Oh dump, Yeah,
- 17:11Speaker 2: let's end it there. Thanks chicks. Okay, I've been seeing
- 17:15Speaker 2: this guy for three months and objectively he is the
- 17:18Speaker 2: full package. Tall, ridiculously attractive, works in architecture, sends me
- 17:27Speaker 2: text me when you get home messages. Um, yeah, remembers
- 17:32Speaker 2: tiny details about me, and somehow smells expensive. Twenty four
- 17:36Speaker 2: to seven.
- 17:36Speaker 5: So she found a unicorn?
- 17:37Speaker 2: Holy shit, what's the fuck?
- 17:39Speaker 4: What's the problem?
- 17:40Speaker 2: Yeah, like, genuinely one of the nicest men I've ever met.
- 17:44Speaker 2: What's the problem. Oh, here we go the problem?
- 17:48Speaker 3: Oh god, he's got a six tongue. He wears sockets
- 17:52Speaker 3: when they have.
- 17:52Speaker 2: Six What is it? He calls his mum mummy.
- 17:56Speaker 5: Oh, this is his mum on the lips.
- 17:58Speaker 2: The problem. We could not be more different.
- 18:01Speaker 3: Oh so you smell like shit.
- 18:08Speaker 2: I'm chaotic, loud, always late, impulsive, and think booking a
- 18:13Speaker 2: flight twelve hours before takeoff counts as planning. Did I
- 18:17Speaker 2: write this? Yeh shit, I'm like.
- 18:18Speaker 3: Oh.
- 18:20Speaker 2: He wakes up at six am to go to the gym,
- 18:22Speaker 2: owns matching tupperware and once said we can circle back
- 18:26Speaker 2: on that during a tiff. Okay, our first day lasted
- 18:32Speaker 2: six hours because the chemistry was insane. We flirt constantly.
- 18:37Speaker 2: The tension is unreal, and every time we're together it
- 18:40Speaker 2: feels like a rom com.
- 18:41Speaker 4: Oh my god, this feels so fun. I'm getting butterflies.
- 18:44Speaker 2: But day to day, I honestly can't tell if we
- 18:47Speaker 2: balance each other out or if we're slowly driving each
- 18:50Speaker 2: other insane. Everyone keeps saying opposites attract, but do they
- 18:55Speaker 2: actually last? Ken opposites attract?
- 18:59Speaker 5: I love that question.
- 19:00Speaker 4: Everyone says opposites to tract, but can they last?
- 19:05Speaker 2: The opposite?
- 19:07Speaker 3: Am locked in to this relationship for you, I think
- 19:12Speaker 3: for you to say such like nice words, please send
- 19:18Speaker 3: us a photo of you both, because I'm really invested
- 19:21Speaker 3: in this, can't wait for the wedding.
- 19:24Speaker 5: I have nothing bad to say.
- 19:26Speaker 3: I'm like, yes, Like, there are so many couples that
- 19:31Speaker 3: are the extrovert introvert, you know, type A, type B thing.
- 19:38Speaker 3: You know, one's even in off campus, like one's an athlete,
- 19:41Speaker 3: one's a musician, Yeah, Taylor's oldest time literally variety of
- 19:48Speaker 3: he's a beast, she's a.
- 19:49Speaker 5: Woman, you know, I can't. I love the scene where
- 19:55Speaker 5: she's like, is this.
- 19:58Speaker 1: What with the song?
- 20:01Speaker 4: She's like, there's something sweet also kind, but this is
- 20:04Speaker 4: really strange because what is going on?
- 20:06Speaker 1: Do I want to east?
- 20:09Speaker 5: It's always yes, yeah, yeah.
- 20:13Speaker 2: Variety is the spice of life, like that's what makes
- 20:15Speaker 2: things fun and interesting. Why would you want to date
- 20:18Speaker 2: a carbon copy of yourself?
- 20:19Speaker 3: The only thing is that, like she's saying, you know
- 20:24Speaker 3: if the thing with opposite is like you actually don't
- 20:30Speaker 3: see eye to eye and there's no chemistry, and you're like,
- 20:34Speaker 3: what do we even talk about? But she's saying, like
- 20:36Speaker 3: their first date lasted six hours. I would like to
- 20:40Speaker 3: understand what you were doing for six Yeah, well.
- 20:44Speaker 2: She said, the tension is unreal.
- 20:46Speaker 4: I love tension. I love whenever I'm reading a book
- 20:50Speaker 4: and there's like.
- 20:53Speaker 2: The push and pull.
- 20:55Speaker 3: Yeah it's great if I feel so creepy because I like,
- 21:00Speaker 3: obviously don't know these people, but we read it.
- 21:02Speaker 2: I know, so I treat it like it's like a
- 21:05Speaker 2: book all the way she wrote it, as well as
- 21:07Speaker 2: essentially a spicy rom car like what we meant to do?
- 21:11Speaker 3: Okay, But the thing that I will back her up
- 21:13Speaker 3: on is if Rob and I were having a Tiffany said, Okay, well,
- 21:16Speaker 3: we can circle back on that.
- 21:17Speaker 5: I think I would. I'd take the cats and I'd leave.
- 21:21Speaker 2: No, I'm kidding, no, corporate speaker, no, no, But maybe
- 21:26Speaker 2: he just meant like we can discuss that once we're
- 21:30Speaker 2: finished discussing what.
- 21:31Speaker 5: I don't know.
- 21:32Speaker 2: I don't know if there's anything you could make a
- 21:33Speaker 2: joke out of that, though, you could be like circle back,
- 21:36Speaker 2: like you can make a funny joke. Ti hah.
- 21:40Speaker 3: How was the other what was the other things that
- 21:43Speaker 3: were like the bad things other than the circle back
- 21:45Speaker 3: that was different?
- 21:46Speaker 2: Okay, So so she's chaotic, loud, Yeah, and then he
- 21:53Speaker 2: wakes up at six am to go to the gym
- 21:54Speaker 2: owns matching tupper air and then yeah, once okay, we
- 21:57Speaker 2: circle back, waking up at six am to go to
- 21:59Speaker 2: the and only matching tappleware has zero to do like
- 22:04Speaker 2: with the relationship.
- 22:05Speaker 4: So if those are the things that.
- 22:07Speaker 2: Are like the deal breakers the deal.
- 22:09Speaker 4: Breaker is, then I'm like, we got a pretty good
- 22:11Speaker 4: deal on the.
- 22:11Speaker 5: Table here, could you, I think?
- 22:12Speaker 1: So?
- 22:13Speaker 5: Yeah?
- 22:13Speaker 3: And I'm like it sounds like she really likes him,
- 22:16Speaker 3: and like maybe I don't know if I'm projecting, but
- 22:21Speaker 3: maybe the amount that she likes him and the amount
- 22:24Speaker 3: that this is like actually just working is more intimidating
- 22:28Speaker 3: than the idea of opposites attracting and like being like,
- 22:32Speaker 3: holy shit, this is actually working.
- 22:36Speaker 2: Yeah, and yeah.
- 22:38Speaker 4: I'm like, sure, what if it doesn't last? But what
- 22:42Speaker 4: if it does?
- 22:43Speaker 2: Yeah? Exactly the what if can have a positive twist
- 22:47Speaker 2: to it, and with opposites attract, I think the only
- 22:50Speaker 2: time that it doesn't really work, or one of the
- 22:53Speaker 2: times that it doesn't work, is if your core values
- 22:57Speaker 2: are opposite. Yes, like if you know.
- 23:01Speaker 3: You have different political value, different political values, or just
- 23:04Speaker 3: like values of how you treat people or respect or
- 23:09Speaker 3: even like dynamics in a relationship, Like that's when opposites
- 23:12Speaker 3: attract doesn't actually line up and you're probably just not compatible.
- 23:17Speaker 2: But in this instance, a lot of these things are
- 23:19Speaker 2: pretty surface level differences between the two of you. And
- 23:23Speaker 2: I think for her it's hard because she's the one
- 23:25Speaker 2: who may be the more Type B character and he's
- 23:29Speaker 2: the type A right, and typically Type B people are
- 23:33Speaker 2: seen as like messy and chaotic and like they don't
- 23:36Speaker 2: have their shit together, But in reality he might help
- 23:39Speaker 2: her become more organized, and she might help him loosen
- 23:43Speaker 2: up and have fun. I want that, so, like I
- 23:46Speaker 2: think she's positioning it like he's got his shit together
- 23:49Speaker 2: and I'm kind of a mess, and it's like that's
- 23:50Speaker 2: not actually it. But he likes he likes you because
- 23:54Speaker 2: you're fun.
- 23:54Speaker 3: And also I do think like extroverted people or you know,
- 24:00Speaker 3: that can help bring people out of their shell. It
- 24:03Speaker 3: can exactly what you're saying, you can kind of grow together.
- 24:10Speaker 5: It's kind of like I want to come to the wedding.
- 24:11Speaker 2: The extroverted, like extroverted girlfriend, introverted boyfriend. I feel like
- 24:16Speaker 2: it's a tailor as old as.
- 24:18Speaker 4: That's a trope.
- 24:19Speaker 5: It's grumpy sunshine trope.
- 24:22Speaker 4: That's it, grumby assumption.
- 24:23Speaker 2: But you know, yeah, but I know what you mean,
- 24:26Speaker 2: like kind of serious attract that.
- 24:28Speaker 4: Yeah, I like it.
- 24:31Speaker 2: I think it's good to have somebody that can balance
- 24:33Speaker 2: you out, as long as it is on some of
- 24:35Speaker 2: those more line.
- 24:36Speaker 4: And he'll make the holiday spreadsheet like sorry.
- 24:40Speaker 2: Lucky, yeah, yeah, he'll make the holiday spreadsheet, and then
- 24:45Speaker 2: you'll be passport yeah. And then you'll be the one
- 24:48Speaker 2: that's like gone for a walk to get coffee and
- 24:50Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I actually saw this amazing bar, so
- 24:53Speaker 2: like cancel the restaurant reservations because we're actually going there tonight. Hello,
- 24:57Speaker 2: perfect match.
- 24:59Speaker 4: Yeah I would be the opposite if yeah, please, I
- 25:03Speaker 4: made a reservation.
- 25:04Speaker 5: We're going to the fucking reservation. Okay.
- 25:07Speaker 2: That was probably my favorite out of all the dilemmas,
- 25:10Speaker 2: and of course, a big thanks to Prime Video. If
- 25:13Speaker 2: you want to see these tropes play out in the series,
- 25:16Speaker 2: to catch it on off campus. Whooo, I'm sad.
- 25:23Speaker 4: You're sad you said it's over.
- 25:25Speaker 2: Yeah, I want more dilemmas well.
- 25:28Speaker 3: We'll have to check back in next month when we
- 25:30Speaker 3: do chicks Chat Advice with the Chicks. Then I want
- 25:34Speaker 3: to do like a part two to like the book
- 25:35Speaker 3: Traps one though.
- 25:36Speaker 2: Yeah, that was really juicy.
- 25:39Speaker 4: I'm surprised we didn't get a brother thing in there.
- 25:44Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, like the summer.
- 25:45Speaker 3: I yeah, I'm surprised we didn't get a summer I
- 25:48Speaker 3: turned pretty or like an Enemy's to lovers, But maybe
- 25:50Speaker 3: the first one was a little bit enemies to lovers.
- 25:52Speaker 2: Yeah that's true. Yeah, yeah, but I really enjoyed it.
- 25:56Speaker 2: And thanks to all your chicks for writing in. We
- 25:58Speaker 2: will be in touch because, as promised, we've got some
- 26:01Speaker 2: prizes for the chickies who wrote in, And if you
- 26:04Speaker 2: have a dilemma or something that you want advice on,
- 26:09Speaker 2: we'll put a link in the show notes where you
- 26:10Speaker 2: can send it in. Everything's kept a noon, of course,
- 26:13Speaker 2: and we love hearing from.
- 26:14Speaker 4: You chickies, Love your cheeks.
- 26:16Speaker 5: Bye bye,