Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / When School Isn’t Working, Find a Better Path [a Listener Q&A]

Transcript

When School Isn’t Working, Find a Better Path [a Listener Q&A] · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: It's Mrs. Happy Family's birthday week all week long on
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the Happy Families podcast.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Well, I have to stop you before you keep going.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: And we're celebrating. Actually, we're not really doing much, are we?
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: We talked about you yesterday.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: It's our birthday week. This is true.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: It is. But my birthday is not as important as
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: your one, so we don't need to talk about that.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: You're so funny. You haven't asked to commandeer the podcast
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: any days this week, so we're just going to celebrate
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: your birthday this week, turning 21 for the.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Again.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Hey, after the break, we're going to tell you about
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: something really big happening this Saturday that I'm involved in,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: our whole family's involved in, really, for World Mental Health Day.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: We're trying to raise some money. We need your help.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: It's all for a great cause, and we'll tell you
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: more about that, plus a tricky question about a young
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: man who is struggling, doesn't want to stay at school,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: but doesn't really want to do anything else either. Maybe
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: you know someone like that. This question might be just
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: the ticket for you as well. Stay with us. It's
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: all coming up next on the Happy Families podcast. It's
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: the Happy Families podcast, real parenting solutions every single day.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. We are Justin and Kylie Coulson.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Before we get to our tricky question today, Mrs. Happy Families,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: we need to talk about Lift the Load. We need
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: your help. Lift the Load is an initiative of Top Blokes.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Top Blokes, the Top Blokes Foundation, provides ongoing mentoring to
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: young men who are experiencing challenges in their life. Why? Well,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: because we know that too many young men are hurting
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: each other. They're hurting girls. They're hurting themselves. And they
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: really do need some support. So my brother-in-law, our brother-in-law,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Kieran Foran, who's the coach of the Manly Seagulls, for
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: those of you who follow NRL, is teaming up with me.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: And we're going to walk 50Ks on Saturday for 50K.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: That is, we're looking to raise $ 50, 000. for top blokes,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: by walking 50 kilometres.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Have you ever walked 50 kilometres before?
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I did it years ago when I did one of
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: those coast trek things, but that was along sandy beaches
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: and over headlands in Sydney's north. This time, I think
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: it's going to be harder because I'm doing it with
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: a 10-kilo vest all day. It's called Lift the Load
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: because too many of our young men are lifting a
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: load that is heavy, and so we're going to lift
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: a load that is symbolic of that. 10 kgs, a vest,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: 50 kilometres. When I did my last 50K walk, which
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: was probably over 10 years ago- You were younger and fitter?
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: And I thought I was going to die at the
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: end of it.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: I know we're laughing about this. This is actually a really,
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: really serious matter. And the fact that you're even willing
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: to attempt it, I think, says a lot about who
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: you are.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Well, I will finish it, but it will hurt. I
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: know that already.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: But I think that that's the point, isn't it?
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Well, if it was easy, then why would I ask
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: people to sponsor me?
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: That's right. So- In a nutshell, there's just way too
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: many young men who are lifting a load that is
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: too heavy for them. Three years ago in November, our nephew,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Kieran's stepson, Logan, died by suicide because the load that
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: he was carrying was too heavy. So, yeah, this Saturday,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: World Mental Health Day, while wearing a 10kg vest, Kieran
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: and I are going to walk 50k for 50k. That's
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: 50 kilometres. We're trying to raise $ 50, 000 to support top
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: local foundations, mentoring programs, and we need your help. One
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: last stat, and then I'm going to get to the ask.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: One in two males faces a mental health disorder in
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: their lifetime. Most issues arise before the age of 24. 75%
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: of suicides in Australia are males. So All Money Raised
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: goes to support Top Blokes. It's a youth mental health
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: charity that helps young men, boys and young men, improve
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: their mental health and build stronger connections with the people
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: around them. If you would like to donate, what we
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: need is 1,000 people who are willing to chip in $ 50.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: That's all it takes. 1,000 people, $ 50 each, and we've
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: reached the $ 50, 000. And you can support young men's mental health.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Will you help, please?
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: $ 50.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: If you haven't got $ 50, we'll take whatever you've got.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: But we need 1,000 people to donate $ 50 each. $ 50, 000
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: for $ 50, 000 on Saturday. We will link to the page
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: in the show notes, but it's really easy. Lifttheload.org.au slash
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: 50 for 50. That's the number 50 and then the
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: word for and then the number 50. Lifttheload.org.au slash 50
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: for 50. Okay, Kylie, that's something that I think really
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: matters and it's quite serious, but we've also got a
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: really serious question about a young man who's struggling. This
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: one comes from Tracy who has asked the following.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: Hi, we've got a 17-year-old year 11 boy who just
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: doesn't want to be at school. He's not attending, skipping classes,
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: nor is he submitting work. We're encouraging and supporting him
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: to leave school, but he just doesn't seem to know
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: how to make the transition or where to from here.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: How do we help him?
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: I don't have a lot to share at this point.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: I think that you would be 100% the best person
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: to share based on your own personal experience.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: That was me, yeah.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: But what I love is that Tracy has... acknowledged and
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: recognized that school is not working for her son and
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: that she's actually open to an alternate. And I think
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: that there is so much power in that for us
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: as parents when we can see that things aren't working.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: So often we want to stick with it because that's
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: what the norm is. That's what society expects of us.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: And I just want to give a shout out to Tracy.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: It's just awesome that in spite of the challenges that
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: she's recognizing that there's another path that would work better
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: for a son and now it's just trying to navigate.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: That path yeah so i'm massively pro-education i just at
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: the outset before we talk about anything else i need
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: to emphasize to me education is really it's just so
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: vitally important however not every young man or every young
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: woman for that matter is ready for the education that
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: they need at the age that we demanded of them.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: But also i think we just we see education as
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: something that's Inside a box.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: It's school and it's going to grade 12.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I just think if we could recognize that
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: there is so much more to education than just those
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: hours that.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: We spend at a classroom desk. And that's what we're
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: going to talk about right after this break. Stay with us. Okay,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: it's the Happy Families podcast and Tracy wants to know
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: how to help her 17-year-old son because he's at risk
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: of dropping out. He wants to leave school but doesn't
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: really know where to go. Kylie, let's go through a
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: few things. In my book, Boys, Building Strong Young Men
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: from the Inside Out, which, shameless plug, it answers this
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: question really, really helpfully. I talk a bit about NEET boys.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Are you familiar with the acronym NEET?
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: No.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: NEET stands for Not In Education, Employment, or Training. And
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: so if you have a NEET boy, a boy who
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: is not in education, employment, or training, these are the
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: ones who are at risk of languishing or struggling. They're
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: they're often our non-thriving boys. They're struggling for purpose. They
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: need something to live for. And education or employment or
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: training will generally, not always, but will generally provide these
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: things because they help boys feel manly because they feel
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: like they're becoming competent. They're on the path to becoming
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: a better provider, a useful partner, a contributor to society.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: But when you've got a child who doesn't feel confident
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: or doesn't feel like his relationships are working or doesn't
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: see any point, that is autonomy and purpose aren't being
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: satisfied by the school system, you get the situation that
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Tracy's in right now. And therefore, I think that we
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: need to look for alternatives. As you know, I failed
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: school dismally, but I just, I had purpose. I wanted
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: to be a radio announcer. I knew that radio announcers
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: didn't have to do well at school. So I kind
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: of gave up on school. I wanted to be a
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: pro surfer or a radio announcer. Radio announcer was actually
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: the easier path. I was never good enough at surfing
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: to be a pro surfer. And so let's just talk
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: about some options. He's in grade 11. Option number one,
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: and we've done this with one of our kids, a
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: vocational school. Now, Tracey, we don't know where you are
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: based on what you've shared in your email and voice note.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: But in southeast Queensland, at least, and this is not sponsored,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: but we've put our daughter into a school called the
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Industry School. And I'm a massive fan of what they do,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: especially for young men who are struggling.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: I would also put a caveat in there, though. Depending
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: on the kind of child you have, it may not
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: be the best place. for your child?
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: None at all, but I'm suggesting that there are several alternatives.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: So the industry school basically puts kids into five weeks
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: of school, five weeks of industry placement every term. It's
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: really hands-on, real-world experience, access to apprenticeships and traineeships. And
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: it's not without its challenges. I don't think there's a
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: perfect school system out there, but I think that this
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: is the kind of thing that could change your child
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: for the better.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Because they meet other people who are sort of struggling,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: but also finding purpose and direction through their electrical or
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: plumbing or building or Hairdressing.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: Or whatever trade it is. There's over 50 different vocations
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: that they can go down, which is what I love
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: about it. And because of the way it's set up,
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: your son would actually go through like an orientation where
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: he would be exposed to lots of different trades before
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: he would narrow in on the trade that he wanted.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: So not every state, not every city has access to
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: something like an industry school. But we have found, and
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: that's literally what it's called, the industry school, at least
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: in southeast Queensland. I know that they're looking to branch
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: out across the country, but at this point, I think
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: they're only in South East Queensland, Ipswich, Toowoomba, Sunshine Coast,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Gold Coast, and a couple in Brisbane, from what I understand.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: But there will be alternative models like that in other places.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: So have a look around and see what you can find.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: If you go to their website and then ask your
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: AI to find you something equivalent or something similar nearby,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: because you're not in South East Queensland, that could work.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Second thing that I want to highlight, school-based apprenticeships. You can,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: depending on the flexibility the school offers, you can begin
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: trade qualifications while you're completing year 12. You can do
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: three days of school, one day of TAFE, one day
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: of paid work, and then you transition into the workforce
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: and a trade qualification from there. Once again, just like
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: the industry school, this means that there's a reduction in
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: academic emphasis, but daily work feels fulfilling. It feels purposeful.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: Kids are becoming skilled and competent, and it just feels really,
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: really good for them.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Well, they feel like they're kind of being treated like
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: an adult. And I think that this is actually one
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: of the biggest challenges. When our kids reach this point
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: in their lives, they feel like they're big enough to
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: make decisions for themselves, but they're not quite. And they
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: want to be treated like an adult, but they're still not.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: And it's just this, it's such a huge transition space
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: for parents and kids.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: So two other things, distance education, full curriculum, just run
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: at your own pace. I think it's good for athletes
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: and performers. I think it's good for kids who need
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: reduced social pressure, can be isolating. Online work would be
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: very concerned about getting a student who's struggling at school
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: to try the online option. But for some students, it
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: might work. There's also TAFE programs. They've got so many
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: practical hands-on learning environments, smaller class sizes. And once you're
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: over 16, you can usually get into a TAFE course
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: that will help you to get a high school completion
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: certificate of some kind.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: So if we kind of wrapped all of that up
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: into a beautiful bow, I'm going to assume that Tracy's
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: already done this, but I think that the school's the
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: first place to go. If your child is struggling and
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: you don't know what options there are, then going and
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: speaking with the school would be a great starting point.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: And then you can branch out from there because I
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: would say that they would have access to all of
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: those kinds of things much easier than me as a
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: parent coming out of, you know, not knowing anything. Yep.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Yep, for sure. There's two other things that I want
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: to mention, Tracey. Actually, no, there's about six other things,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: but let's go fast. I think that it's really important
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: you sit down with your kids when they're about this
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: age and they're starting to push back and say, hey, kiddo,
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: if you want to drop out of school, that's fine,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: but you need to be either full-time earning or full-time learning.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: I picked that up from Peter Beattie, the Queensland Premier,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: like 20-plus years ago. He had this really big thing
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: about earning or learning, and I think that our kids
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: need to understand that we're here to support you. We
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: love you. We're absolutely on your side, but you need
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: to be earning or learning. So let's work out a
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: strategy where you can be doing that because 10 hours
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: at the local cafe or at the local KFC or
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: something like that and then gaming on our living room floor,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: that's not going to cut it. We need to do
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: something where you're making a contribution. If you don't do
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: something that feels purposeful, you will feel like you have
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: no purpose. So let's figure out a way for you
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: to progress and grow and have positive experiences. There's one
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: other thing that I want to emphasize, and that is
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: that education, as you alluded to earlier, Kylie, isn't just
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: university degrees. Education is any learning that builds your kids' capacity.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: So it could be a trade cert, it could be
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: an apprenticeship, it could be international experience where your child
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: goes and learns a language or works on a farm
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: in a regional area, don't even have to go overseas
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: for it. They're all education. They all count. Just some
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: kind of certification. It's such a powerful strategy. It makes
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: your son more viable economically and socially. Go and work
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: at local butcher shop and do some retail stuff, but
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: then learn how to sharpen a knife and then learn
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: how to cut some beef and then learn how to
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: fill a T-bone or something. Do you know what I mean? Like,
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Learn how to do some basic stuff. I've met so
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: many parents who feel like if their kids don't graduate
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: school or don't go to university that they've failed. And
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: I think we need to dispel that. We've got two
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: sons-in-law who only just finished high school, but now both
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: of them are working as really successful tradies. One's an electrician,
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: one's a builder. And they're both doing so well and
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: providing really well for our daughters while our daughters pursue
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: their own educations. We just need to help our kids
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: to be progressing successfully. They just need to be progressing
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: and learning and doing stuff.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: And this isn't always possible, but as I listen to
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: Tracy and I think about this 17-year-old young man who
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: just is feeling a little bit lost, if it's at
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: all possible to get outside of the hubbub of everyday life.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Get outside of the family and outside of the school
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: environment that he's in and be open to new influences,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: new mentors. Surround yourself with excellence. There are people doing
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: amazing things. That's not what you're going to say. I
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: can see it on your face. I thought that's where
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: you were going. I thought I was being brilliant. I
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: shouldn't have cut you off. Carry on.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's great to just pack up the car.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: You're going a totally different direction.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: I am going in a very different direction.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: You're in the car.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Put the tent in there with a couple of pillows
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: and a sleeping bag and just go and spend some
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: time in nature. And just connect with each other.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Take the pressure down.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Take all of the pressure off. And as you spend
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: those few days together, whatever it is that you like doing,
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: just start exploring what it is that he actually wants.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: I sat down with my parents, my elderly parents, the
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: other day and did this exact thing. I'm like, okay,
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: we don't know how long we've got, but if you
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: could paint the picture of what it is that you
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: want for the rest of your life, what would it
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: look like? And I think that giving our kids... in fantasy,
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: what they want is actually a really important part of
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: the process. Okay.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Let me wrap this up. There's two things that really
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: matter here, other than earning or learning. First of all,
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, I wanted to be on radio and I
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: did okay with that. And then I went back again
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: in eight and a half years of schooling and then
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: started doing the parenting thing. I was 27 when I
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: went back to school. Life is long.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: But this idea that we would know what we want
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: to do as a 17-year-old... It's too much pressure. is
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: so much pressure, and it's not real.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Yep, yep. So that's the first thing I'd say. I'm
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: more interested in him developing character over having direction and
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: a perfect idea of what's going on. I'd be focusing on,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: can he communicate? Can he be reliable? Can he show
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: up on time? Can he use his initiative? Does he
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: have integrity? Those traits... are perpetually scarce and I think
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: you can carve out a really really good life a
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: good career simply by being the most reliable person on
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: the team and the second thing is just help him
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: to learn how to provide value all the money that
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: he's ever going to need to be successful in life
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: already exists the difficulty for him is it's currently in
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: other people's bank accounts and his job is to figure
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: out an appropriate and ethical strategy to get it out
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: of their bank account and into his and the best
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: way to do that is to solve problems that people
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: pay for so It could be as simple as car
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: detailing or lawn mowing. It might be something to do
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: with software. I was at a surf resort over in
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: Indonesia and I met a guy who had figured out
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: a way to create a booking system, a software solution
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: for guests to book into surf retreats in Indonesia. That
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: was his career. That was his livelihood. So all of
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: these things will be helpful. Like I said before, a
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: shameless plug, boys building strong young men from the inside out.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: There's two chapters on this and I reckon it'll be really,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: really Really helpful for you, Tracy. Thanks for the question.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: If you have a tricky question for us, go to happyfamilies.com.au,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: press the record button and start talking. It's a super
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: simple system. Or send us a voice note to podcasts
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: at happyfamilies.com.au. Once again, the show notes for more details,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: especially for the Lift the Load 50 for 50. That's
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: lifttheload.org.au slash 50 for 50. A thousand people, 50 bucks each.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Will you please be one of those thousand people to
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: help us to do this? It's a really big load.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: But that's what we're asking because we think that it matters.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Details in the show notes, the Happy Families podcast, sound
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: and audio by Justin Roulon from Bridge Media. Mim Hammonds
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: provides our other support and all the details that you
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: need on today's episode in the show notes or at happyfamilies.com.au.