Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / seasonal depression sucks.

Transcript

seasonal depression sucks. · feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell

• 0:00
  The weather is getting colder, and so am I.
• 0:03
  This time of year always makes me feel pretty depressed.
• 0:07
  The cold, the earlier sunsets, the dark.
• 0:10
  It makes me want to lose all of the mental health progress that
• 0:14
  I've been making and just throw it away.
• 0:17
  I want to give in to that seasonal depression.
• 0:19
  I want to get worse. I want to get colder with the
• 0:22
  weather. But the truth is that seasonal
• 0:26
  depression does not define you. You are more than those
• 0:30
  complicated feelings that you feel and you are absolutely
• 0:33
  capable of healing your mental health even during the darkest
• 0:37
  months. My name is Ethan Jewell and
• 0:40
  welcome back to Feel Your Feelings.
• 0:45
  Now, if you're watching with video, you can see that I am
• 0:47
  outside in the cold, it is snowing and I am absolutely
• 0:51
  freezing. But I wanted to talk about
• 0:52
  something really close and important to me, and that is
• 0:56
  seasonal depression. And I say that because I've
• 0:58
  dealt with seasonal depression every single year for the past
• 1:02
  six years, maybe more. And it never gets easier.
• 1:06
  Every single year I think to myself, I am healed this year,
• 1:09
  You know, I spend the entire first eight months of the year
• 1:12
  really focusing on my mental health, really healing.
• 1:15
  And then suddenly that earlier sunset hits, that first snow
• 1:18
  hits, and it feels like I'm back to square one.
• 1:23
  It feels like I never even started.
• 1:25
  If this sounds like you, if this time of year is particularly
• 1:28
  hard, then this episode is for you because I want to talk about
• 1:31
  seasonal depression. I want to talk about why it
• 1:34
  happens from a scientific standpoint, and also just from
• 1:37
  my personal experience. And I want to talk about what we
• 1:40
  can do about it and how we can adjust our mindset and maybe
• 1:44
  turn this depression into an opportunity to heal.
• 1:47
  So thanks so much for being here.
• 1:49
  If this is your first time here or if you're returning for the
• 1:52
  80th time, I want to let you know that I'm not a doctor, I'm
• 1:55
  not a professional in the mental health industry.
• 1:57
  I'm just a normal guy who has felt some really big feelings,
• 2:00
  in this case, seasonal depression.
• 2:02
  And I want to talk about those feelings person to person.
• 2:06
  I think there's such a stigma around mental health still to
• 2:09
  this day, and I think we really need a more casual conversation
• 2:12
  about it. So thanks for being here and
• 2:14
  let's feel some feelings. So why is it that we can spend
• 2:18
  all year focusing on healing, really trying to get better, and
• 2:21
  suddenly because of the time of year, we can feel like we're
• 2:25
  completely reset to nothing? That is completely unfair.
• 2:29
  I cannot sugarcoat it. It is absolutely unfair.
• 2:32
  But there's some really real science going on there and
• 2:35
  there's some psychology of what's going on, and I'm going
• 2:37
  to talk about that. So let's start with the science.
• 2:39
  Now once again, I'm not a doctor, but I've read up on this
• 2:42
  because it happens to me every single year.
• 2:44
  So one of the big reasons it's very simple is the sunsets
• 2:47
  earlier. And we humans, we are very
• 2:50
  simple creatures. And when the sun goes down, we
• 2:53
  are exposed to more dark and it literally changes the way that
• 2:56
  our brains work. We get less vitamin D from the
• 2:58
  sunlight. We are enshrouded in dark more.
• 3:00
  It literally changes your mood. This is science.
• 3:03
  Depression rates and mental illness rates in places like
• 3:06
  Finland are some of the highest in the world.
• 3:09
  And the main reason for this is because they have long periods
• 3:11
  of the year where they get significantly less sunlight than
• 3:14
  other places in the world. And this has a very, very real
• 3:18
  impact on our mental health. It feels ridiculous, like, oh,
• 3:21
  I'm just getting a little bit less sunlight.
• 3:23
  I'm in the dark more. So what?
• 3:24
  I'm a I'm a complicated person. And yes, that is true.
• 3:27
  Your feelings are complicated. But sometimes it is as simple as
• 3:30
  getting a little bit of sunlight.
• 3:32
  In my personal experience, there's a good mix of that.
• 3:35
  And it just being colder, it makes me want to stay inside.
• 3:39
  Yeah. I start to isolate more.
• 3:40
  I don't want to see other people.
• 3:41
  I want to stay in where it's warm.
• 3:43
  I don't want to go to a secondary location to do work.
• 3:46
  I don't want to be around anyone.
• 3:48
  I just want to lock myself inside and just sit there all
• 3:51
  day. And yes, that is comfortable,
• 3:54
  but it is very detrimental to our mental health.
• 3:58
  Even if you are introverted, we are creatures of company.
• 4:02
  We want to be around other people even if we're not
• 4:05
  directly talking to them. It is good for your mental
• 4:07
  health to be around society and whenever it's cold, whenever
• 4:12
  it's dark, we don't want to do that as much.
• 4:14
  It's uncomfortable. It's not fun.
• 4:17
  It's not fun to leave the house. I mean, I'm telling you right
• 4:19
  now, I am outside and it is cold and I want to go home and I want
• 4:23
  to isolate all day. It's very, very easy to fall
• 4:28
  into seasonal depression this time of year.
• 4:31
  The weather is getting colder and so am I.
• 4:35
  And when that starts to happen, it is so easy to put shame on
• 4:38
  yourself. To think, man, I put so much
• 4:43
  work into healing. I've been trying so hard.
• 4:45
  And now just because of the time of year, it feels like I'm back
• 4:50
  to square one. It is so easy to think what is
• 4:52
  wrong with me. The sun's setting a little bit
• 4:55
  earlier and it's cold, but really that's making my mental
• 4:58
  health worse. Really.
• 4:59
  That's making me fall into this hole of depression, that's
• 5:01
  making me isolate, that's making me simply get worse.
• 5:05
  After everything I've been trying, it's so easy to shame
• 5:09
  yourself. It's so easy to feel guilt and
• 5:13
  blame that you're getting worse, but in reality, it's your own
• 5:17
  brain working against you. Seasonal depression is not the
• 5:22
  end of the world, and it doesn't define you.
• 5:24
  You are not your feelings and one of the best things that we
• 5:27
  can do this time of year is to remind ourselves of the truth
• 5:32
  that we are not our feelings and the seasonal depression does not
• 5:35
  define us. Take that knowledge and then
• 5:38
  apply it into active healing. Whenever something outside of
• 5:44
  our control is happening that is affecting our mental health,
• 5:46
  such as the time of year, seasonal depression, it is more
• 5:50
  important than ever to to take an active role in your healing
• 5:55
  journey. Yes, I would love to say that we
• 5:57
  can all rot in bed all day and one day we will wake up and
• 6:01
  magically feel better. But I did that for seven years.
• 6:07
  I mean, for seven years straight, I kept thinking, all
• 6:10
  right, it's going to get better. I can just stay in my old ways.
• 6:14
  I can I can keep rotting in bed all day and one day this
• 6:17
  depression will be gone. And it it never went away.
• 6:22
  Still to this day, it's there. It's hanging over my head.
• 6:25
  And it gets worse this time of year.
• 6:27
  And it's frustrating because I've spent seven years trying to
• 6:30
  heal and suddenly it snows and the sunsets earlier and I feel
• 6:34
  like I'm back to square one. I'm I'm 17 again.
• 6:38
  The truth is, we have to take actionable steps.
• 6:41
  We have to take an active role in our healing now more than
• 6:45
  ever, instead of falling into the trap that is allowing that
• 6:49
  seasonal depression to take over, going well, This is just
• 6:51
  how it is. Every year.
• 6:52
  I just have to be worse. I just have to start over.
• 6:55
  We can take the knowledge that we have.
• 6:58
  We can take our past experiences with our mental health and
• 7:01
  double down on them. So I can't tell you exactly what
• 7:04
  you need to do, but I'm going to tell you what I'm going to be
• 7:06
  doing and I'm going to tell you that you should absolutely take
• 7:10
  a real action during this winter to help heal your mental health.
• 7:15
  For me, I am incredibly guilty of isolating this time of year.
• 7:19
  I just want to stay inside. I don't want to see anybody.
• 7:22
  I want to sit there. I don't want to talk to anybody
• 7:24
  and I want to rot away and I want to just hope that my mental
• 7:28
  health gets better, but that's not realistic.
• 7:29
  So what I'm going to be doing, I'm going to be making an active
• 7:32
  effort to reach out to people. I'm going to call people, I'm
• 7:36
  going to text people. I'll be going to a secondary
• 7:39
  location to do work. You know, I'll be going
• 7:42
  somewhere to sit down in the presence of other people to do
• 7:44
  my work because that is also very important.
• 7:47
  Next, and this may sound silly, I'm going to, I'm going to be
• 7:49
  taking vitamin D Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous to say, oh
• 7:53
  your mental health is struggling, take a vitamin.
• 7:56
  But when the sun is setting earlier and we're getting less
• 7:58
  sun when it's cloudy out, Vitamin D is scientifically
• 8:01
  proven to help your mental health, to help boost your mood.
• 8:05
  I would highly recommend doing your own research on it.
• 8:08
  I can't tell you definitively if it's for you, but that is one
• 8:11
  thing that I will be doing. Many people that live in the
• 8:13
  north, the northern parts of Canada, or in Norwegian
• 8:16
  countries, like I mentioned, Finland, a lot of them take
• 8:19
  vitamin D. We're getting less vitamin D
• 8:21
  from the sun. Vitamin D helps regulate a lot
• 8:24
  of mental health things in your body.
• 8:26
  I know very scientific terms. Once again, not a doctor, but
• 8:30
  for many people it does work. And finally, I will be taking
• 8:35
  action. I would love to just roll over
• 8:38
  and say, all right, here's another few months of suffering.
• 8:41
  But instead, I'm going to wake up every single day and I'm
• 8:44
  going to say I am not my feelings.
• 8:47
  I am not controlled by the seasonal depression, and I'm
• 8:50
  going to make an active effort to claw my way out of this hole
• 8:54
  even though the weather is getting colder and so am I.
• 8:57
  It does not mean that I am defined by that.
• 9:01
  It does not mean that I have to give up.
• 9:04
  It means that I'm going to take the pain and the mental health
• 9:07
  issues that I'm facing and I'm going to double down on healing.
• 9:12
  It takes real active effort and it is hard.
• 9:17
  I'm not going to sugarcoat it. It is incredibly difficult.
• 9:20
  Healing your mental health is one of the most challenging
• 9:24
  journeys that any of us will face and you won't really
• 9:28
  understand until you're in the thick of it.
• 9:30
  So if you are in the thick of it or you feel that seasonal
• 9:33
  depression getting worse, I want to tell you, you are not alone
• 9:37
  and you are capable. You are capable of healing.
• 9:42
  You are capable of being more than just your feelings.
• 9:45
  You are capable of feeling those feelings and moving on from
• 9:50
  them. It will not be easy.
• 9:53
  There will be cold nights where you may want to give up.
• 9:56
  There will be cold mornings where you want to stay in bed
• 9:58
  and rot all day. And it is those moments that you
• 10:02
  must take action. Your mental illness will do
• 10:05
  everything it can to stop you, but you have the power.
• 10:12
  It may sound naive, it may sound foolish to say that you can take
• 10:17
  action against mental illness because I know how difficult it
• 10:20
  can be. I know how real mental illness
• 10:22
  is. I've struggled with depression
• 10:23
  for years and at times it feels impossible.
• 10:27
  And at times you will slip back. At times the ground will be too
• 10:30
  icy, your heart will get too cold, and you will slip back
• 10:33
  into old habits. But you have to remember that
• 10:35
  that is not the end and you are not defined by those feelings.
• 10:41
  It's even harder when you're dealing with the same mental
• 10:43
  health issues that you normally do.
• 10:44
  And on top of it, the seasonal depression is is trying to get
• 10:48
  you down. But I just want you to hold on
• 10:51
  and I want you to keep trying one small step at a time.
• 10:56
  It's not going to be big. It's not going to be dramatic.
• 10:59
  It's going to take months and years.
• 11:01
  But this season, this winter, instead of accepting that this
• 11:05
  is just how it is, I challenge you to take small real steps in
• 11:10
  healing your mental health. And I'll be right there with
• 11:12
  you. I'll be walking through the snow
• 11:16
  trying my absolute best to heal and we all deserve that.
• 11:22
  That's going to wrap it up for today's episode.
• 11:24
  I wanted to take a second to thank all of you.
• 11:26
  I saw my end of year statistics for this podcast and even though
• 11:29
  I haven't been that active, you all have been there for me.
• 11:33
  This podcast is well within the top 10% most listened podcasts
• 11:37
  and that's insane. That is amazing.
• 11:39
  So thank you so much for allowing me to talk about this
• 11:42
  topic that I'm so passionate about.
• 11:44
  Thank you for giving your mental health a chance.
• 11:46
  Thank you for feeling your feelings with me every single
• 11:49
  week. I just released a line of merch.
• 11:52
  It's available on my website ethanjewel.com and I'll also
• 11:56
  link it in the description. If you need help feeling your
• 11:58
  feelings, you should check out my music on all platforms under
• 12:01
  the name of Ethan Jewel. It is perfect for these winter
• 12:03
  months and feeling those feelings.
• 12:06
  Thank you so much for being here.
• 12:07
  Thank you for understanding that you are not defined by your
• 12:10
  feelings and you are not defined by your seasonal depression.
• 12:12
  And as always, thank you for feeling your feelings.
• 12:18
  I'll see you next time.