Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 210 - Opinions and how they affect us

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 210 - Opinions and how they affect us · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey, everybody. Good morning from the porch.
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  It's raining this morning and it's dark, so we're going to
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  shoot from the porch this morning.
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  So let's talk about opinions from other people.
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  You know, it's interesting how things show up and everyone
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  wants to share their opinion, and it comes from everything.
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  Everyone wants to give you opinions on things, and
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  sometimes we want them and sometimes we don't.
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  Let's be very clear about that. Sometimes we don't want opinions
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  and sometimes we do. The question always comes in two
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  ways. One, did I ask for your opinion?
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  That's a big one. Now lots of people will tell me.
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  Talking to them, hearing it over and over and over again.
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  Well, I never asked for their opinion.
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  I never asked for that to come my way.
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  Yet you heard it anyway. So the question is what?
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  What drives people to share their opinion when ultimately
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  you didn't ask for it? You know, my opinion on this and
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  I purposely want you to think of it that way because it's my
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  opinion on this is that most people want to be heard.
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  They want to have value. They want to know that what they
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  think matters. So they will share what they
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  think. Because ultimately most people
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  have very good intent and they think by sharing their opinion
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  they may help you. Now we look at that and we say,
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  oh, I don't, I didn't ask for that.
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  Why would I want that? That doesn't feel good.
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  And. You might not be wrong with
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  that, but it doesn't change the reason that they do what they
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  do, what they're the reason they're doing what they do is so
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  that they can feel good about themselves or feel good about
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  how how they're going to help you, even though they're not
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  helping you. If that makes sense because you
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  didn't ask for it and it just showed up and they gave it to
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  you. So you'll find this in things
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  like if you're saying, oh, I'm going to go to a certain
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  restaurant or oh, we're headed here on vacation, or oh, I
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  bought this kind of car, or oh, I'm seeing this movie and
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  everyone, especially movies lately, everyone has opinions on
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  them, always had opinions on movies, but the more things
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  become politicized, the more people want to share their
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  opinions of things. And as we know, an old school
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  rule when I grew up was you don't discuss religion and
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  politics and mixed company. My parents were very strict on
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  that rule, and I always thought that, you know why?
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  I didn't understand it when I was a kid?
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  And as an adult, I totally understand it because it doesn't
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  make for building bridges. Most of the time it just makes
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  for an uncomfortable conversation.
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  But again, that comes from people unwittingly or
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  unconsciously sharing their opinions with the intent to
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  really help. Now the other thing about
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  opinions is you know. When someone gives you an
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  opinion and you have your own opinion, and you start sharing
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  your opinions and you have to, you know, realize are you doing
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  the same thing? Are you giving your opinions and
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  not asking? Is it appropriate for me to
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  share my opinion at this point in time?
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  And that comes back to the same thing you're trying to be
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  helpful in the moment. Nine times out of 10, that's
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  what goes on with people. They want to be helpful in the
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  moment. Then you have the times where
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  sometimes people, they just give you their opinion and they're
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  trying to be destructive, they're trying to be hurtful.
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  But I truly don't believe that That's most of the people.
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  Most of the time. I truly believe that most people
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  have very good intent and just go into that phase of trying to
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  be helpful. But.
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  You don't have to accept those opinions because they're just
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  that they're opinions. They're nothing more than
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  someone else's thought on something.
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  And you get to decide. And there's a very powerful,
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  powerful quote from Buddha. Don't believe anything I say.
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  Find out for yourself. And I have always gone back to
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  that quote because I have to decide what things mean for me.
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  I have to decide, do I like the restaurant?
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  I have to decide. Do I like the vehicle?
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  I have to decide. Do I feel good when I go on that
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  hiking trail, when I see that movie, does it add value?
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  Does it not add value? And everybody has slightly
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  different. Views on things.
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  Think of it like fingerprints. Everyone has different
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  fingerprints. Amazingly, as many humans as
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  there are, we all have different fingerprints.
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  So just like a fingerprint, we all have different opinions and
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  different views. Can we find people that have
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  some that match us? Sure.
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  But even those matches won't be identical.
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  There will be tweaks in them. There will be.
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  Think of her as like a restaurant.
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  You go to a restaurant and Pete, your family agrees, OK, we can
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  go to this restaurant and there will be somebody who will say,
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  yes, we're all in the same restaurant, but really, does
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  everyone get the same exact meal?
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  And even when they do, they order it differently.
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  And I was thinking about this last night.
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  We went to a burger place that we go to often and my son just
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  loves burgers, and each one of us ordered the bar burger.
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  That's what it's called. But we did it differently.
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  And as I was listening to everyone around us order,
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  everyone around us ordered differently.
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  So when you take into the consideration how varied we are,
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  you can appreciate the fingerprint theory of opinions.
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  So don't let them weigh so heavy on you.
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  They're just opinions and they're only one person, so try
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  to go out there and before someone even gives you a chance.
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  Ask if it's okay. Say, you know, I mean, I'm happy
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  to share my thoughts. That's what I always say.
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  I'm happy to share my thoughts. And then people say sure, and
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  then you share your thoughts. But it's always great to ask and
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  it's always great to have the sense of about what's going on
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  around you. All right, my friends, I will
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  talk to you tomorrow. And I hope you have a blessed
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  day. Bye.