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A Divorce Must-Have You Likely Overlooked · Pursuit of Sassiness

• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I do Part two.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: It's your celebrity mentor Kelly ben Simone, And today I
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: get to talk to a woman who co founded an
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: incredible business, Divorce Registries. Have you ever heard of something
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: so cool? And she's also the host of the Divorce
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Happens podcast. Fresh Start Registry has been featured on The
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Today Show, Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, and more. I
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: can't wait to learn all about this.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: Please welcome my.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: New guest, Olivia Howell. Hello, Hi, how are you, Kelly?
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: How are you?
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Oh? My god, Olivia is so nice to meet him,
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: So excited to talk to you today. So you started
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: this amazing opportunity for divorced men and women to have
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: not only a network, but access to all these different
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: products and things that they're going to need. First of all,
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: I love this whole idea. It's so fantastic. It resonates
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: with me because I was supposed to get married and
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: then I called off my wedding and everything was in
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: storage and there was everything was all over the place,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: and you know what we were using what I wanted
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: to use, and I just felt.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Very very like totally like unsettled.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: And so I really really appreciate this. Also it's such
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: a cool business model.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: You're doing every I mean all you have to do is.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Go to Amazon and like you have an entire, you know,
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: section of like every single thing that you need, from
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: the blanket, from the utensils, from the sheets, I mean everything.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: It's so brilliant. So now let's so you and your
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: sister you start a business. Yeah, what are the roles
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: and how does that work?
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: This is a great question.
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: So my sister is two and a half years younger
• 1:59
  Speaker 5: than me, and we had kind of opposite parallel stories.
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: So I had a very traditional got married in my
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: twenties to a guy I met on match dot com,
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: had two little boys, had the white picket fence, and
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: then he decides he's leaving.
• 2:12
  Speaker 6: Right.
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  Speaker 5: It was a very toxic marriage, so it ended up
• 2:15
  Speaker 5: being the best for everybody. And my sister had kind
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: of the opposite. She was with her partner for ten years.
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: They finally got engaged. They were supposed to have the
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: big wedding. She's the middle child, so this was like
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: her big moment to shine, and then COVID happened and
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: they pushed the wedding off so many times. He told
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: her he didn't love her anymore, so her engagement was over.
• 2:37
  Speaker 5: So I stayed in the marital residence and had to
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: really learn to heal in that environment. She left her
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: apartment in Queen's with nothing, and so we had these
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: different experiences.
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: And so when my ex.
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: Moved out, I was very uncomfortable in the house. It
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: was all of the things we picked out together, and
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: he is a musician. He left, you know, guitar hangers
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: on the wall, and it was like a ghost town.
• 3:02
  Speaker 5: And so I thought to myself, you know, I had
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: two baby registries, I had a wedding registry. I really
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: need to replace these items. And I didn't have the money.
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: I worked for myself and I was paying for a divorce.
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: I literally was like, there's got to be a divorce
• 3:16
  Speaker 5: registry out there, and I googled it and there was not.
• 3:20
  Speaker 5: And so I called my sister and at the time
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  Speaker 5: we were not working together. This was back in twenty nineteen,
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  Speaker 5: and I said, I think we should start the world's
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: first divorce registry.
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  Speaker 4: And she's like, I love you, but like, we don't
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: know how to do that.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Now.
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  Speaker 4: I started my own business.
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: I had had my own agency, marketing agency for a
• 3:37
  Speaker 5: long time, but started a startup of registry. We had
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: no idea what we were doing, and it wasn't until
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: she had her experience and she was in an apartment
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: by herself with nothing, and she called me and said,
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: remember that idea that you had, and so we built
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: everything and so we are the world's first divorce registry.
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: And like you said, Kelly, you know you can go.
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: It's always free to make a registry.
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  Speaker 4: So one of the.
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  Speaker 5: Things that was really important to us is we're not lawyers.
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  Speaker 4: We are just two girls. We grew up in a
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  Speaker 4: family of divorce.
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  Speaker 5: All of our grandparents are divorced, our parents are divorced.
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  Speaker 5: It was you know, you know, it was normal for us, Kelly.
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  Speaker 5: It was like, okay, like this is just like However,
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  Speaker 5: I thought my divorce would be easy because I had experience, right,
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: And I was like, I have family support, I have
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: financial support, what And it wasn't right. It was I
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: was depressed, just like everybody else. I had to heal
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: for years, just like everybody else. And so I thought, well,
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: if that was hard for me to go through, then
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: how the hell is everybody else getting through this?
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: Right? Turns out they're not. That's there's the answer exactly.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: So we built this business model where we said, let's
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: let's build you know, help people build the registries for
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: free and educate for free. And then we were like, well, uh,
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: we have to make money somehow on this, and so
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: we knew we wanted to have an expert platform because
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: people don't know this, but you actually, well you know,
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: but you use about seven experts when you go through
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: any big life change and you think about it, even
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: like buying a house, right you have the appraiser and
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: the mortgage person.
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  Speaker 4: It just adds up.
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  Speaker 5: I wanted a one stop shop for everybody to come
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  Speaker 5: and say, I know that these professionals at Fresh Starts
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  Speaker 5: are vetted and they're safe, and I can use any
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: of them. So what we did is we figured out banks.
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  Speaker 5: We figured out, well, my background is marketing and PR,
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: my sister's backgrounds in tech and business development. Let's offer
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: that to experts and we can give them a membership.
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: And so we did that. So we are very transparent.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: We're bootstrapped.
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  Speaker 5: We make our money the way we've always made our money,
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: which is marketing and PR, and we provide that to
• 5:43
  Speaker 5: our experts and they pay either twenty five dollars or
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: fifty five dollars a month, very affordable, and we are
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: now the premier divorce support network of experts. And the
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: thing that I'm most proud of, Kelly, is that when
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: you sign on to be a Fresh Starts expert, you
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: have to sign our ethos that says you are shame free,
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: judgment free, and inclusive, because that's really important to us.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is such a First of all,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry there was all this divorce in family,
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: but out of something bad came something so good.
• 6:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah, fresh Start, Yeah, you and your sister, I mean
• 6:28
  Speaker 6: talk about backgrounds that are like built for business.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: I mean that's literally fantastic and just.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: The genesis of like why you guys started. This is
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: just so real and transparent. And yeah, people do need,
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: you know, tools in their tool belt, and I just
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: think this is so fantastic. So let's talk about the
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: three things that you need every person needs with kids,
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: and then we're gonna ask with that, but let's talk
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: about with first.
• 6:59
  Speaker 5: I love this question, and Kelly, you know so many
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: women and we are for men and women, but we
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: primarily get a lot of women. Women are culturally more
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: conditioned to ask for help a little bit. And so
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: for women, for moms, they always think about the kids
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: right before anything else.
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: You know what that's like, right, And so.
• 7:18
  Speaker 5: A lot of women have to downsize or they have
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: to move really quickly out of a place. And so
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  Speaker 5: it was really important for me, who I was left
• 7:27
  Speaker 5: a single mom with two little kids, to be able to,
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: you know, put together a bundle of items you could
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  Speaker 5: add to your registry that.
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: Were easy for single moms to build.
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  Speaker 5: Right, you only have two hands, so you're not going
• 7:39
  Speaker 5: to be able to build like a huge shelf by yourself.
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  Speaker 5: So for moms who are building a registry, I would say,
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: and this is so silly, but like new dishes, right,
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: because you're starting a new family. This is a new
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  Speaker 5: iteration of your family. And you know, I always say,
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  Speaker 5: like divorce is like splitting the atom, right, So you
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: just kind of changing the dynamic of the family. And
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: it is those little things like dishes that you're not
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: going to use your wedding dishes anymore anything for your
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: wedding registry, maybe you and your kids can pick out
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: new dishes to put on your registry.
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  Speaker 4: So that's number one.
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  Speaker 5: New dishes, right, even if you just put pizza, frozen
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: pizza on there, totally fine. And then along with that utensils, right,
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  Speaker 5: new utensils. I'm a small fork and spoon person. I
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: have very small hands. I do not want to reach
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  Speaker 5: into a utensil drawer and pull out a big spoon
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  Speaker 5: or fork, and so for me, it was really important.
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  Speaker 4: To have new utensils.
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  Speaker 5: And I always recommend you know, overall, the general theme
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  Speaker 5: here is things that maybe your ex touched is great
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  Speaker 5: to replace, right, Like I'm big into energy, and you
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: know you don't want to have those things necessarily in
• 8:52
  Speaker 5: the house. Of course, donate the things that you're not
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: going to use anymore, because somebody can definitely use them,
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  Speaker 5: but you are worthy of that upgrade. So so utensils, plates,
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  Speaker 5: And the last thing is a new blanket. Right, you
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: and your kiddos are going to snuggle under the blanket
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  Speaker 5: and watch movies. Get yourself something beautiful and bold and
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  Speaker 5: colorful and super soft.
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  Speaker 1: I love that.
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  Speaker 2: But now, what about if it's just a single person
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: man or woman who gets divorced and they have nothing,
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  Speaker 2: what do they go away with?
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  Speaker 3: What three items did they ease?
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so this is the thing that always kind of
• 9:26
  Speaker 5: blows people's minds. But new underwear, get yourself new underwear,
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  Speaker 5: and it's totally okay to put it on your registrate.
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: I'm giving everybody permission to do that right now. You
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: do not want to keep putting on underwear that your
• 9:37
  Speaker 5: ex saw. It's not going to help you feel sexy.
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: It's not going to help you heal, right, and this
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: is all about healing. So get yourself some new underwear.
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: And you know what, your girls are going to want
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: to buy your new underwear, So put it on the
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: registrate because you deserve that. And then sheets, right, you
• 9:52
  Speaker 5: do not want to sleep in that same bed that
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: you slept in with your ex again, Like I remember,
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: even one of the energy healers I work during my
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: divorce was like, you gotta get rid of all his cells.
• 10:03
  Speaker 5: No cells in the house, right, like nothing.
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: In the house.
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: So new sheets, new underwear, and then new wine glasses.
• 10:12
  Speaker 5: Get yourself something really you know whatever you drink, right,
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: what maybe it's just diet coke and ice, that's cool too,
• 10:17
  Speaker 5: Get yourself something that you really love. I remember, like
• 10:21
  Speaker 5: along these lines, right before my ex moved out, we
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: had cohabitated because most people do when they have kids
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: before they leave. And I went to Target and I
• 10:30
  Speaker 5: got myself these plastic glasses because I had kids at
• 10:34
  Speaker 5: the time. I still do, but they were smaller and
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: they were like vintage looking plastic glasses. And I didn't
• 10:40
  Speaker 5: take them out until he left, and it was so
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: special to see those in my cabinet. So yeah, and
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: you know, the whole thing is like you're allowed to
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: start fresh, and this is your time to pick out
• 10:52
  Speaker 5: items that bring you joy. You know, Gray divorce, which
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: is divorce over fifty is on the rise majorly. It's
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: about triple in the last twenty years. And a lot
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: of these women have literally Kelly, never picked anything out
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: for themselves.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: And you know, so.
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: Imagine like you get to go on, you know, pick
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: out your registrate of things for you. And we do
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: see some trends, which is interesting. The color pink.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: All over the place.
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: Women love everybody after divorce after divorce, and so you
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: get your pink back that way, which is really nice.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: So let's get to like some of your hot items,
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: like what are people asking for?
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: What are like, you know, some of the big items
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: that everyone's like, I need.
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: These, Yeah, I love that question. So you know a
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: couple of things, so we do. We can see you know.
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: The way that it works is you can actually submit
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: your registrate to our website and we have what we
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: call our registry Fairies, which are just anybody can be
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: a registry fairy. You can sign up and we send
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: the registries from women and men going through divorce to
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: our registry fairies, and you can buy somebody an item
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: from the registry. Because Amazon protects you, which is why
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: we used Amazon. You can also do it on my
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: registrate if you're not a fan of Amazon. And so
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: we always say submit your registry to us because you
• 12:09
  Speaker 5: never know you might get stuff, and we do have people.
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: We actually just had two of our somebody two companies
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: sponsored and hire registries recently for people, which is amazing,
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: and so we do get to see what people are
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: asking for. So some of my favorite items are disco balls.
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: People ask for disco balls, which I love. And somebody
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: asked her a pirate flag. Kelly, I was like, I
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: love this, I want a pirate flag. But you know
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: what I really love is like bathrobes and things that
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: people really ask for for themselves, right, and like we
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: love to see, you know, even simple things like a
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: butter dish somebody asked for. And then she emailed us
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: and she was like, I cried opening my butter dish.
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: And it's like those those little things they mean so
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: much to people, you know. And we had a a
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: somebody we know who registered for a new utensil holder,
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: and she emailed us a picture and she said, I
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: had the same tensilholder my whole marriage, and every time
• 13:02
  Speaker 5: I looked at it, I thought about the abuse that
• 13:04
  Speaker 5: I was, you know, I had gone through. And now
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: with this new utensil holder, I get to see my
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: life like happen in a beautiful way. And it's it's
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: because those little things do represent right, there's symbolic. We
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: always say that the items from a registry are items.
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: We don't call them gifts.
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: There's support items, and they're the physical manifestation of the
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: support that you can offer somebody. You know, there's a
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: lot of freeways to support your friends and family also
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: going through a divorce, which we are always a fan of.
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: But also you can buy a friend or a family member,
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: you know, a five dollars mug from their registry and
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: it's going to mean the world to them.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: I just love that.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, you're you're totally debunking the stigma of divorce.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: And like, there's bridal registries, you know, there's wedding registries.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: You know, there's registries for like baby registry you no baby.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: There's literally a registry for everything, except for the thing
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: that you really really really need is starting over. So
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: how do we So how does someone even go about
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: sharing a registry? I mean, you've talked about Amazon, you
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: talked about my registry. How does that actually work?
• 14:07
  Speaker 5: So you go to Fresh startsregistry dot com and on
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: the website there there's a button for build your Registry,
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: create your registry, and you can go in and so
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: the way that we've organized it is our whole mission
• 14:18
  Speaker 5: is to eliminate the overwhelm out of starting over. You know,
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: when you're at the intersection of heartbreak and legal and
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: all that bs stuff, you cannot handle picking out new
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: stuff for yourself and so reading reviews. So we have
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: bundles of items based on different things. We have you know,
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: by price point ninety nine dollars upwards. We have by esthetic, right,
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: so you can do like all different room aesthetics and
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: then simply by rooms, right, so you could go pick
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: you know, click on the bathrooms, and we've read the reviews.
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: We put the items there. So you can just add
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: all of that to your registry and then you can
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: go in and add anything else that you want. You
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: can also just add a thing to get money, you know,
• 14:57
  Speaker 5: to Amazon, so that you can also like get the
• 14:59
  Speaker 5: bigger items if you that also, but we always recommend,
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: you know, adding things that are different price points, and
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: you are allowed to like be wild, you know, get
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: the rainbow colored spoons and forks.
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: Why not, right, like live live boldly, and so you
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: do that.
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: And we actually do provide scripts for people because they say, well,
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: how do I ask?
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: Right, this is really weird.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Nobody's going to ask that.
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so we do have scripts on the website.
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: You can click copy and paste it into a text
• 15:24
  Speaker 5: and we are all about scripts and helping people, and
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: so you can send it to your friends and family
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: and say, look, you've asked how you can help me.
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: This is how you can help me. I don't have
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: you know, dishes or cereal bowls. We've gotten a lot
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: of negative feedback over the years, not shockingly from people
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: who have said, well, I won't get somebody an item
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: from the registry, but I will buy you a bottle
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: of wine, which is lovely.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: But would why would they be negative about helping someone
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: be better?
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: That's a great question, Kelly, because people are still really
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: stigmatizing divorce. Divorce is still morally a really bad thing
• 16:00
  Speaker 5: for people, and that's what we're here to and you know,
• 16:04
  Speaker 5: completely reshift the narrative, you know, a small thing to
• 16:06
  Speaker 5: try to do, like a historical narrative, but you know,
• 16:09
  Speaker 5: we're trying to say, like, yes, it's great that you're
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: saying I'm here for you, but sometimes people really just
• 16:15
  Speaker 5: need the basics to begin again.
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: And that's okay. And you know, we've had a lot.
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: Of people also thank us from the other side as
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: the friend or the sister of somebody going through divorce
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: and say thank you for providing this platform because I
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: didn't know how to help, and now I know how
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: to help. So and we also do provide I provide
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: one on one free calls for anybody who's interested, you know,
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: considering divorce or going through divorce, or or post divorce.
• 16:43
  Speaker 5: This was something we started just a few years ago,
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: and I talk to women now all day every day,
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: totally free, no obligation. It's very difficult for people to
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: understand that, but I'm it's completely.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: Free, and we're there for them.
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: I am there for them because I made a vow that, Yeah,
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: I didn't want anybody to go through this alone ever again,
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: and so we mean that.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting you were talking about the stigma
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: of getting divorced and there's all these you know, divorce rings.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm a victim of that I made. I
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: made a divorce ring from my ring. This is back
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: in like literally like two thousand and nine.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I made a divorce ring.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: And then people having these divorce parties, they're going to Vegas, they're.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: Having all these things. Why is it that women.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Feel like they have to celebrate that moment? Do you
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: feel like they're trying to not feel so bad? I mean,
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: it's it's just the stigma of divorce is real. Oh yeah,
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: it's hurt and that harm is real. So why are
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: we celebrating?
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: Why are we celebrating?
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: Celebrate? What am I doing?
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: You know why, Kelly?
• 17:51
  Speaker 5: Because you survived. You survived, and not every woman gets
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: out of marriage alive.
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: And that's the true meaning.
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: And you survived, and we are allowed to celebrate our
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: survival and divorce I think is still really hard for
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: people to understand. And you know, it touches every single
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: part of your life and your family and your future
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: and your past and you come out a completely different person.
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: So your celebration, your divorce ring, which I love that
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: you were on the vanguard of that, you know, is
• 18:20
  Speaker 5: about celebrating you as a person, choosing you. It is
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: not easy, like you said, to be a brave woman
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: and choose divorce.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: The world does not like single moms.
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: The world hates divorced women, right, and so to choose
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: that is really brave. And that's what we're celebrating, is
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: the bravery that you, you know, you move forward with.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: It's interesting what you say, and I really appreciate you
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: using the word bravery because when I was on Housewives
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: at the very beginning in the ice age in two
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: thousand and nine, and I was divorced and my children
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: are very young, and the fan base was like, oh,
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: there must be something wrong with you. I'm like, no,
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: I actually made a good decision for our family as
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: a whole, for my girls, for their future, and for
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: my ex husband, Like I'm the one that made that decision,
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: and it was not any easy decision to be on
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: my own raising children alone.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Like who wants to do that? Like no, you don't
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: get you know, Like but you don't get harolded for that. No,
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: you do great work. You're gonna do this.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: I mean people were literally like, you.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Can't believe that, And you can't can't find a date,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: you can't find someone to like take over.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm sorry, excuse me.
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm you know, I'm I get it.
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: Like there's still such a stigma. And it's twenty twenty
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: six on single Moms, right, and like as much as
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: we try to say there isn't there is, And there's
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: such a morality discussion around divorce.
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: And for me and my goal is to make divorce boring.
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: Divorce happens, right, Like that's what that's our book title,
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: Divorce happens, right, you know, And like divorce happens to
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: fifty percent of first marriages and it goes up for
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: second and third. So why are we acting like it's
• 19:55
  Speaker 5: not a part of life, Because it just is a
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: part of life, and it's just a transition.
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: You're just a reiteration of the family.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I just love that you just wanted to make divorce boring.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: I think there's just so many things that you're saying
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: that are really resonating with me, and that you know,
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: I wish that I had known you back when I
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: had gotten divorced. I probably wouldn't have been so insecure.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: I probably would have been a different human moving forward,
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: and just I probably would have handled my life in
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: a different way if I had had those tools. But
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: let's get into the business even more, because I'm like,
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: I like to you know, dive deep, and you guys
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: are doing more than just you know this registry. You
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: are creating this arsenal of like all of these different
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: ideas from divorce professionals, divorce coaches, attorneys, therapists.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: So is it important.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: For women and men who are getting divorced to have
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: these resources?
• 20:59
  Speaker 5: Yeah, So we call it your hype team because we're
• 21:02
  Speaker 5: all always positive thinking but without toxic positivity. So you
• 21:06
  Speaker 5: need people around you, right whether you are considering divorce.
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: And the average woman and I'm sure you'll agree with me,
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: considers divorce for two years before she even says anything
• 21:15
  Speaker 5: to anybody. So I bet if you think back, you're like, oh, yeah,
• 21:18
  Speaker 5: I didn't realize I was doing that.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but I was. I did that Yep, yeah, me too.
• 21:24
  Speaker 5: And so you know, so you whether you are in
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: the consideration phase or you're kind of just thinking about it.
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: I always like to say, and I assume we can
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: curse on this podcast, but before, before stuff hits the fan,
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: you want to have your hype team around you.
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: So what does that look like?
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: And then how do we help? So let's say Kelly
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: that you are considering divorced. You make a call with
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: me on Zoom. We chat for fifteen minutes totally free,
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: and I'll say, Okay, Kelly, what's going on? And you're like,
• 21:51
  Speaker 5: I'm considering divorce. I've been married, I have kids, we're
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: not getting along whatever. I'll say, Great, let's get you
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: a divorce coach and I will connect you to three
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: different coaches for free calls that you can meet with.
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: I like to match people based on vibes great, because
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: that's why I meet with them. And I know all
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: of our professionals, so it's really easy for me to
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: see who would be a good fit. And our professionals
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: offer tons of different services, and so you know, divorce
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: coach will help you strategize. They save you so much
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: money down the line because they're helping you write the
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: emails to your lawyer. They're taking on the emotional load
• 22:24
  Speaker 5: that your lawyer does not like. My lawyer used to say,
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: call me back when you're calmer, and I was like, like,
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: I do not like that, thank you, So I you know,
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: so divorce coach is actually always my first stop, not
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: before a divorce lawyer.
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: You don't even need to get there yet.
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: Also, if you own a house and you have a mortgage,
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: you should always talk to a realtor and a mortgage
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: expert always. This is about education, right, We're not trying to, like,
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: you know, cause revenge. We're not trying to you know,
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: start problems. This is about educating you on your options.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: And you have to understand your assets.
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
• 22:58
  Speaker 5: So a certified divorce financial analyst or forensic accountant, they're
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: going to help you really look and untangle. And this
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: does not matter whether you are living in a penthass
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: in New York City or in a small little ranch
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: house and wherever. Right, this is everybody's going to have
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: financial issues that they're going to have to untangle, and
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: then of course you know things like healers, right because
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: you're going to want to get through a healing process therapists,
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: and then also just you know, having a mediator, having
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: a co parenting coach, which I always recommend a co
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: parenting coach. We have an amazing expert who is a
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: college planning expert for divorced families, who actually helps the
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: parents figure out not just in the stipulation what the
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: college payment should be, but you know, you know, going
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: down the line and saying where should this kid go
• 23:42
  Speaker 5: to college? What if we disagree? All of these things.
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: You know, as we said, divorce touches everything, and it's
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: so important to have experts who you can refer to
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: for all of these things. So we help you build
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: your hype team, and if you need anything, we're always here.
• 23:57
  Speaker 5: We're really big into education because nobody teaches you write
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: about divorce and so you know, yeah, you know, it's
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: it's and for me, like I had to learn everything.
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: My sister was my point person. She got me through
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: my divorce, and I don't I don't know what the
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: lingo is.
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: We're not we're not.
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: Lawyers, and so I love being able to teach people
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: like this is what you know you need, this is
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: who you need, this is why you need them, and
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: they will be able to support you through that.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, Olivia, you are spot on with so many
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: different things. I mean, money really makes people very very ugly.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: And I you know, I totally agree with having you know,
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: like just having the conversation with people about what the
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: possibilities are.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: And I loved all the resources. It's great.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: I mean you just have to like again like have
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: the tools in your tool belt. And I mean, I
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: mean I live, I come from a family of lawyers.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: I love lawyers. But you have to also kind of know,
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: like what your plan is.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Yes, and a lot of people just don't.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: They just like and and you're also correct with they
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: it does take a while. You don't just like get
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: divorced on it two day people happens, No, exactly. So
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: my last thing is out you now hosting events? So
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: you guys are hosting all these events. Are there any
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: new events that are coming up this month? So that
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: these women can and then actually meet other people?
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: So what we do?
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so we are experts, have amazing groups. So I
• 25:17
  Speaker 5: would say, if you're interested in a Divorced Group. A
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: bunch of our experts have free groups, they have paid groups.
• 25:23
  Speaker 5: You can reach out to me, and my dms are
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: always open. I like to say, I'm at Olivia Howell.
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: So it's pretty easy and it's only me who reads them,
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: and so I do get hundreds of dms today, women
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: telling me incredible stories.
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: We become so close.
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: They tell me when they signed their divorce papers, like
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: it's so beautiful.
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: And so if you've any questions, please reach out.
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: But we do.
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: We have about five events a month hosted by our experts.
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: These are always.
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: Free Kelly, and they sign up and if you even
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: if you can't come, you get the replay. And so
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: just yesterday we actually had an event with one of
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: our experts about how to unfreeze yourself in a spiral
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: of anxiety when you're going through divorce. We have yeah
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: one coming up next week, I believe about how to
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: have hard conversations. We have one with the college planning expert.
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: But every month we have five new events and all
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: of them are always on the website.
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: You can go watch them.
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: So we're really big into free stuff. Anything free is
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: there for you on the website and you know I
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: would say too. Ninety nine point nine percent of our
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: experts have free consultations and calls and so reach out,
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: like this stuff is here for you. We built this
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: for people. When we say we don't want anybody to
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: go through divorce alone, we truly mean that, and that's
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: our life's mission.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think it couldn't be better.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: Congratulations, Seriously, this really really impressive, Olivia, I mean, unbelievable work.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: I want to meet your sister at some point too.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: She has an.
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: Amazing she has an amazing story.
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: First of all, I want to say, Kelly, thank you
• 26:52
  Speaker 5: because you were on the vanguard of like single momhood
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: and choosing yourself and I watched you do that right,
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: and so like I just want to say thank you
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: to you, like stepping up because it is not easy
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: and being a public figure is not easy, and you did.
• 27:10
  Speaker 5: You were a model for other people, for other moms
• 27:12
  Speaker 5: to say, like, we can do this in a different way.
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: So thank you.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: That means a lot to me.
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: I'm really improved by that. I do Part two we
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: herald you. Thank you, thanks so so so much.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: So nice to see you, and I look forward to
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: hearing more and more and more good news from you.
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: Thanks Kelly.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Are you freshly divorced and trying to figure out your
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: new life but you don't know where to start. We're
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: here to help. Send us an email or leave us
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: a voicemail. All the infos in the show notes, and
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: follow us on socials.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: We're falling in love is the main objective.