Latest / Ascension Alchemists™ — God Led Sacred Marriage For Purpose & Impact. A Couple's Embodied Walk with Presence of God ALMighty / E7 Honi: Journey Within: Finding Peace in Emotional Storms with Rev. Honi Borden

Transcript

E7 Honi: Journey Within: Finding Peace in Emotional Storms with Rev. Honi Borden · Ascension Alchemists™ — God Led Sacred Marriage For Purpose & Impact. A Couple's Embodied Walk with Presence of God ALMighty

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Blessings everyone.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Good evening Welcoming you to Ascension Alchemist podcast.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: This is number seven.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: It is my solo show.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being here today, being present, being in this now as I get to share a little bit about behind the scenes with you.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: So, first and most, I really hope you've had a great week and you are embracing everything that life is bringing you so that you can carry it into this next week, however way you're choosing for it to unfold.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: I've been contemplating on several things that I have been encountering in my outer reality, and there's such a beauty in being able to face density and adversity and having the ability to have the space to sit with what has been presented so that, through the lens of the great awareness, we can see our circumstance and, from what is being shown, what is being revealed, to look within that journey, within to discover what needs to be healed, what needs to be pardoned, what needs to be forgiven, what needs to be pardoned, what needs to be forgiven, what needs to be loved greater, what wants to be understood, what wants to be respected, what wants to be honored, what wants to be appreciated.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but I really do have these contemplation moments with myself.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I sit, especially when I face adversity on the outside.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I recognize, especially if I have experienced some kind of trigger, knowing that the trigger is bringing information out.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: So this week I did experience a trigger.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: That surface and as its surface it touched up on certain things from the past.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Yet underneath there's this desire to be healed and the trigger shows up so that we can choose a different way.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: We can choose to handle it from maybe a more mature lens.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: And the thing that I've really discovered is that all of us have had such a difficult experiences as a child right, and we have somehow shoved a lot of these emotions and the feelings that we felt on the inside because we just didn't know how to handle them or we didn't have the support to safely move through them, and a lot of times we didn't fully experience the emotion.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: So therefore, in our later in life we have the opportunity to feel the emotion, but because it is very intense, sometimes we avoid it at all costs.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Often, especially when it's painful, we don't want to feel the pain.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: It's not physically painful, but it's emotional painful.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Have you all been experiencing that?
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you have.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: For me it's been several years of certain emotions that were very painful that I literally had avoided, understandably so, because it was really painful.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: And as I, as I lean more and more into God presence, I became more stronger in God presence in me.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I was able to separate my human from my divine self and be able to have my divine self be more of a parent to my human self, the way my parents were in there for me.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: So there I can allow that inner child in me feel safe enough to experience some of these emotions and nothing like being in a relationship where it's going to play out.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: It's going to come out and that's the part of having relationships.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: On your own, you're okay, you're not going to be bothered as much.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: But when you're in a close relationship things are going to be poked because on the inside there is this deep going to be poked, because on the inside there is this deep desire to be clear and free from these emotions that you carried as a child.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Yet they've been embedded in you without you knowing and they're playing out in your life without you knowing.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Yet you're able to see other people's behavior, but you can't quite turn around and look within your own self.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: You can only see the outer reflection and as you become more and more aware, as you become more in tune with yourself, especially in this journey of embodied ascension, you begin to take that responsibility in the reflection within, seeing through that Christ light within what is in your human body that wants to be purified because ultimately, this human temple wants to be the living, breathing house for God Almighty.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Yet all these heavier emotions that are sitting with it does not allow that full presence to be embodied, so it's kind of like it backs up, like a pipeline.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: It backs up and we naturally experience it in our body because when we experience the areas that is very joyful, pleasing and relaxed and Flowing, that's when we're allowing God presence to flow through us effortlessly.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: And the areas where it's resistance, it's more difficult and and Also not allowing we get to experience it because we experienced the separation of it.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: So this week I was experiencing some of these and and something amazing took place because I was able to come and journal.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: By the way, some of you know, you know I have 10 different journals.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I have one journal just for triggers.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: When triggers come out, I can go sit down and go through it.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I have one journal for gratitude.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: I have one journal for my morning where I'm having conversations with God.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: The other journal I have is areas that I'm aware that my human self has limitation, that needs to work through.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: The other journal is about these amazing ideas I have.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: The other one is I'm working on the podcast and one other one is with the keynote speaking.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: There's all the different stories, so I have many different ones that I'm writing in and I found that I'm writing in it.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: There's this incredible conversation on the inside and that there's that communication between my human self and my divine self and that divine self is communicating and when I'm able to put a space between, able to put a space between the feeling, the emotion, the thought and also the mind, the way the mind wants to orchestrate the direction, I'm able to be in that observer, watch and then I can carefully choose, choose according to what is more aligned and harmony with my God presence so I can bring that into this reality and I am for sure, putting more reps in here, pausing more things, and one of the one of the ways that has really helped me, for example, when I'm not in my human self, not feeling well because I'm upset at something Before I used to just blast it out.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I used to call a friend and bitch and complain, or I used to type the text out or I used to cut people off, because on the inside my emotional body was very inflamed and was over stimulated and it was certainly not regulated, and I just did not know how to handle that.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: I always thought something also was wrong because I wasn't able to manage it right.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Yet I was unaware, because of so much trauma that my human self had experienced in this lifetime, especially as a child.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: The emotions were never processed.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Therefore, when a situation would rise up that would trigger some of these emotions, my coping mechanism that I developed was to either escape as fast as I could or stand up, try to fight, and the fighting was exhausting, just as a lot of us know.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: I wonder if some of you have been experiencing that and you're slowly coming in this space where you're finding the battle within yourself, because the battle has always been within, it's never on the outside.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: We're just experiencing it on the outside because it's playing on the inside, because it's playing on the inside, and when we fully grasp that, we begin to then end the battle on the inside and choose not to go into it.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: This week was one of those weeks for me where I had to, as hurt as I was on the inside, I had to put a pause on there and I had to sit in reflection.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: And I have this precious Jesus pocket with me and I held it a lot and I just stayed in prayer, stayed in breath, regulated my central nervous system breathed through it and I wanted to allow grace to hold me.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I wanted to have God Almighty hold me to be my great parent, my great provider, my great supplier as always is and be able to comfort me and provide safety for me in the way that seemed right for me.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: This was very, very, very important.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: So I had a chance to really, really embrace that and allow that, and it really took a while.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: And there's something beautiful when we move in this space, when we journal.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: So some of the things that came out of it was I was able to slow that space of time on the inside and choose the time according for the best for me, and to say on the inside how much beautiful time I had and how God's timing is perfect, how nothing happens by accident, how what has showed up in my own reality is also part of the blessing part of my journey, and this journey is always evolving.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: It's giving me the opportunity.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Here's my lower emotions that are heavy, that have surfaced.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Here are the higher emotions.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: They're all part of the same spectrum of emotions.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong, yet there is a safety, as I lean into God Almighty to hold me so that I can meet these emotions without being afraid of them.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Being able to meet them, be able to actually feel them fully in the body, so that way I'm not trying to escape them or run away from them.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: And I do this process myself because I found this was something that, because I was running away from it, I noticed a lot of other people who were part of my community were running away from it and about four and a half years ago, god Almighty set me down, especially in the middle of panic attack.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Major anxiety set me down, especially in the middle of panic attack.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Major anxiety sat me down and said you can't escape anymore, you have to sit and feel this.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: It's safe, I'm with you.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: And it was awful.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I was in the middle of massive panic attack and it did take my youngest son to look at me and just look at me and say Mom, you're one of the strongest people I know.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Why are you so?
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: This doesn't even look like you sound like you.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Just go in your room, sit with God.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: And that's what happened.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: And I sat there for three hours in that silence and cried a lot.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Hours in that silence and cried a lot, and I was able to meet one of the hardest emotions that I had run away from most of my life in every possible way.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: I wasn't afraid to die, I wasn't afraid of this, but I was very afraid to face this one particular emotion.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: And out of that came God Almighty presence, showing me, relaxing our body, relaxing through this specific way and all my body so I can feel so held, my human body can feel so held, my emotional body can feel so held, my mental body can feel so held so that it can feel safe enough to experience it and move out of it.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: And that was the birth of the Ascension Alchemy Ministry, which I knew I had to put the ministry together and to show people if I can do it, that means you can do it, doesn't matter how challenging trouble you have experienced.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: You are able to also, through this way, really calm your central nervous system, down-regulate your emotions and allow the breath of God presence to breathe through all your bodies.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: All your bodies feel love, so that if another circumstance, situation comes, you are able to handle it better.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: You're able to feel empowered in that you don't ever have to be a victim to your emotions, because, frankly, I had been a victim to my emotions for way, way too many years.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Perhaps some of you have been as well.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: That's why I'm sharing it and I wonder how you went through it, what you did?
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: How did you overcome?
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: There's so many different ways For me, I found God Almighty, that source that created, that created all, and put its heartbeat in us, put that light, that eternal light, the Christ light in us.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: It's in us.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: So if it's in us, we can access it and if I give myself permission to be with it, it will.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: It will, from the inside, help me and it's been an incredible, amazing, remarkable relationship Communication, conversation, contemplation, compassion, care, which I get to journal share.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Do any of you journal, by the way?
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: How?
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: How do you journal?
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: What's your journal star like?
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Do you journal morning?
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Do you journal night time?
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: Do you carry journal book with you?
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: Like me, I have my trigger book, trigger journal, with me everywhere, because when things come up like, oh, there's information, let me go sit in there, let me just let me get to it.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: Let's see what showed up, what wants to be met, what wants to be free.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Because what I found out is when it frees out of my body, path face opens up.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: When path face opens up, there's more room.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: As there's more room, there's more beauty, there's more reflection, there's more of God's truth.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: I feel more solid in it.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: That's why I do that, because the human vessel, if you allow the human vessel, it will dictate through its hunger, through its thirst.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: It's the flesh.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: It's going to dictate through its feelings and emotions.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Especially if you've gone into it, you feel like crap.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: And emotions, especially if you've gone into it, you feel like crap.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: This week there was this moment where I was in between the space where I would drop into the human emotion, and when I would go near it, it felt awful.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: So I said, nope, I'm not gonna go there, I'm gonna go walk it, I'm gonna breathe through it.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: This.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: I know what God Almighty has said about me.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna claim that instead, because if I go here, it's a mess, it's ugly and, yes, it wants to transmit.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Yet I'm going to allow God to handle it rather than me going there there try to battle it out, because I'm done battling it.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Maybe some of you are done battling it Perhaps.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: If you have, let me know.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: I'm very curious about it.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: So today I went to it.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: After I led my own ministry with the Sunday service, I just felt I needed to be in a church and I wanted to be in a different kind of church.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: So I drove to DC, I went to this beautiful church, I cried my heart out.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I just sang with everybody.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: It was a nice church.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: Some things don't resonate with me.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: A lot of things do at the same time.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I just felt so grateful to sing, to sing praise God Almighty, with everybody else and let these tears I call them holy baptism tears because it's placed in us when we let ourselves cry it washes the hurt over our heart and that's what it was.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: There was a lot of hurt sitting on my heart that I allowed it to be washed and um and be clean, be more clean and purified.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: And I got a chance to meet the pastor's wife, heather, beautiful lady, hugged her and I just stared into her in gratitude and teared up and she said she said do you want me to pray with you?
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: I said, yeah, I just wanted to have to stand with prayer with someone because I get to stand in a very strong prayer for a lot of people, a lot of people, and I have a lot of people that message me.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Honey, can you pray for me?
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: And I love, I love, I love offering prayers.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: My prayers are so powerful because they're not mine.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: God moves through me and I love, I love, I love offering prayers.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: My prayers are so powerful because they're not mine.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: God moves through me and I love the way that feels on the inside.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Yet, for having compassion for my human self, my human self needed it.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: It was hurting and it was so nice to have somebody pray over me.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: It made me realize how much I need to find other pastors so that I can be in communion with, so we can, so we can stand in prayer with each other, and how great that feels.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: As I go into this week, I'm very grateful.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Probably today I'm not going to speak Farsi at the end of this.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: I'm still figuring this out.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: By the way, this is the second week of training with the podcast.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Michael and I are figuring out our schedule, whether we're going to have two shows a week or three shows a week, whether it's going to be Monday and Thursday or Monday or Friday.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: So all of this is figuring out.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: This week, I'm going to be posting the trailer for the Ascension Alchemist podcast.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: That's one of the homework that has to be done, and a few other things behind the scenes.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: So every week I'm learning something to add on to here.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: So this week I learned how to upload the videos that show up on Spotify, on our YouTube channel and on bus sprout.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Yet there's no videos on Apple podcast.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: So again, lots of discoveries along the way, and it feels so fun to be a student in this.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: So thank you so much for being a witness to these stepping stones along the way and putting ourselves out.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: As you can see, every episode is just raw, there's no cut, there's no edit, and I wanted it ourselves out.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: As you can see, every episode is just raw, there's no cut, there's no edit, and I wanted it this way.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Of course, we can put it on editing platforms as well, yet there's something about when it's unedited.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I like it personally.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Please let me know if you do.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: It catches exactly how it is and it also gives me the opportunity.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Opportunity.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Where do I need to sharpen my skills especially?
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: I'm also training for keynote speaking, so the language is very interesting.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: I'm already aware I say the word, and a lot so.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: So that is something that I have to reshift and I also say so a lot, so that has become sharpened in my awareness.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: By not editing, I am able to hear it.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: I'm also able to have this become aware in my consciousness so I can become a more effective speaker and communicator.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: So this is giving me the platform to communicate it, while I'm dedicated to the words of God.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: By the way, this week was really fantastic with keynote speaking because we needed to put our second assignment there.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: We needed to put our second assignment there and we needed to start with a sizzling question to capture the audience attention, then also make a statement, then go into a personal story.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: With this personal story, we needed to have a takeaway for audience that had a heartbeat in it and some tools.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: So it's very structured and it's a very different way than my usual public speaking, and I like it because it's so different.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: There's structure around it.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: So I'm learning this new skills.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: It's uncomfortable, yet I'm enjoying it.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: And with this, with my other journal.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: I wrote all these frequently asked questions.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: By the way, do you have any frequently asked question that I can add?
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Do you have any question for me that I can add to my question list?
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: With this, I had to create a whole list.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: Then I also had to write down stories, stories where I felt like I was a badass.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: I overcame things.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: The other one was lean-in stories, stories that people would lean in.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: So I had to write down several of those stories.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Then it was shit-to-shift stories.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: That means just disaster to transformation.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: I certainly have those Hard-to-tell stories.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: There are a lot of those that I've overcome, so put those in there.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: And funny stories, party stories.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: So it was really fun and out of this I had to pick a story to write this and, with my keynote speaking, the message at the very end is with God, everything is possible.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: So, putting it all together and I was able to use a story, put it together and it came out good, the message came out and, of course, there's always polishing.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: So it's fun to see the evolution of it, the evolution of it, and I can't wait for you all to be a witness to the full keynote speaking, as I do that because it's happening simultaneously as this with the training.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: So Monday through Friday I am in training, while I'm mentoring others, while I'm running the ministry, while I'm taking care of all these other things.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: It's such a full schedule and I love it and I give glorious thanks to God Almighty for all these blessings and I bless you, dear hearts, blessings from on high, from the greatest and the best that knows you the best.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: May your week be completely joyous from the greatest with every step that you take.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Know that your steps are ordained as you drop in your heart.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Align with that God presence.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Let yourself be carried through your wonderful week.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I love you all.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much and we'll see you in the next episode.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: Have a blessed night.