Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / I Choose...To Be Self-Aware with Chelsea Handler

Transcript

I Choose...To Be Self-Aware with Chelsea Handler · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. You know,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I love this podcast because I love getting to hear
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: from all different types of people and learning about them
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: and learning things from them. And today I'm so excited
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: to sit down and chat with my guests because she
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: is absolutely incredible. She's a comedian, television host, six time
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: six time you Guys, New York Times best selling author,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: about to be seven I'm Predicting, and an advocate. Her
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: new book, I'll Have What She's Having, comes out on
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: her birthday February twenty fifth. Please welcome my friend Chelsea
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Handler to the podcast.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Hi, Chelsea, I.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Was recently on your podcast.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Which way was a huge hit. I was, Yeah, people
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: loved it.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: People conversation around you talking about your like your marriage
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: and I'm your current husband, current husband.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Your husband, I say that too, it's okay.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: Knowing what he signed up for and then kind of
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: being like, wait a second, is this my new life?
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, people loved it.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: I got so many comments about it, and there was
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: so we had a great conversation.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: We did.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: I loved it, but we were talking a lot about me,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: and today I just want to talk about you because
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: you have a book coming out on your birthday. How
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: perfect is that timed?
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's perfectly timed.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I'll have what she's having. Yes, tell me why, Okay,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: tell me why that title? I know that title is
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: a line from Harry met Sally. What a great scene,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: What a great line. Did it have anything to do
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: with that or just come from a different it?
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: Did you know? My I gave the book when I
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: was done with it.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: We were trying to fish around for a title, and
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: I had given it to my editor obviously and some
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: other people in my life.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: And my editor came back and she's like, I think
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: the titles. I'll have what she's having. And I'm like,
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: I can't name a book that about my own story.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: What is that? And she said, no, that's how you
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: feel after you're done reading it. I want what you have.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, and she's like, and there's
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: a Halle Harry Matt Sally reference.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like it had a double and you
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: had a real meeting and then it had a kind
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: of referential meeting. And I was like oh oh, and
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: then I was like I love that. I love that.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: I want to give representing what I have. So that's
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: where your.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Editor is a genius. That is so exactly how I felt.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I was reading your book last night, speed reading some
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: of it and reading all of it like I couldn't
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: get enough. I didn't want to stop before the beginning
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: of this podcast, so I will complete it. But that's
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: how I felt. I felt like I want what Chelsea has.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I want to be free to make my own decisions,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: not have to like worry about a husband or kids,
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: all the things that can strain us in certain ways.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: But you have always lived your life the way you've
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: wanted to and that is what's so beautiful about you,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: and it's magnetic.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you so much.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: I think that you know, if you can inspire other
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: people to like, feel or think something, then I would
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: want to inspire people to feel just more empowered about
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: who you are, like how special you are being you,
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Like each one of us is so special, so individual,
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: and we all have a purpose. And as soon as
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: you nail down what that purpose is, and you nail
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: down your strengths and weaknesses, like you.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Can soar it's sore like an eagle.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Do you think you only get that sort of awareness
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: at fifty Did you have that at forty eight?
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Ah? Good, cush, good question.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think therapy helps a lot with the
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  Speaker 3: gift of self awareness, right. I think as soon as
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: you start going to therapy and finding out that you're
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: not everything you thought you were, you're like, oh, whoopsie doodle,
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  Speaker 3: I had no idea I was a bitch, a cunt
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: to all of the things that you know could be
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: attributed to me, or that I was nasty, or that
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: I inserted myself into situations where no one ask my opinion,
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: that I gave unsolicited advice all the time, as soon
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  Speaker 3: as I had someone who wasn't involved in my life
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  Speaker 3: give it to me straight and in a gentle, loving way,
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: of course, because otherwise, you know, it's therapy, that's they're
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: going to tell you in a nice way, right, But
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: as soon as you get the gift of self awareness,
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: then it's really up.
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  Speaker 2: To you, like, what what are you going to do
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  Speaker 2: with now?
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: What are you going to do now that you know
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: how you're coming across that you're not just crushing it
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: all the time, that sometimes you hurt people's feelings. Sometimes
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: you're hurtful to yourself sometimes, you know, like all of
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: the things you kind of want to know about yourself
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  Speaker 3: but without being told.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Wait, your therapist told you these things, Like in a session,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: we just we just.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: Talked about my behavior a lot, and like the way
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: that I've gotten through life up until then. You know,
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  Speaker 3: I didn't go to therapy until I was like forty,
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: and then I went real seriously for about two years,
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  Speaker 3: and that was just a big gift of wake the
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  Speaker 3: fuck up and take a look at yourself, like you're.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Not all that you think you are, You're more.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: And less like and take an honest kind of inventory
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  Speaker 3: of the things that you're doing that are working for
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  Speaker 3: you and the things that you're doing that aren't working
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: for you, and also how are you impacting others?
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  Speaker 1: And who do you want to be moving forward? Because
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: this is like a time when you can do and
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: be anything.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, And I think that's something that we also, like
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  Speaker 3: we don't ever talk about that, Like you and I
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: have never sat down and been like, what did you
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: want to be when you grew up? You ask little
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: girls all the time, what do you want to be
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  Speaker 3: when you grow up.
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  Speaker 2: You don't go what kind of person do you want
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  Speaker 2: to be when you grow up? You know? What kind
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  Speaker 2: of like? And and and we don't.
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  Speaker 3: We rarely check in and say, oh, how am I doing?
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  Speaker 3: Where am I in life? Is this what I wanted?
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  Speaker 3: What am I looking for?
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  Speaker 2: Like? How am I achieving my goals? Or am I
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  Speaker 2: way off track?
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  Speaker 3: And so the book starts out with this kind of
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: me reflecting when I was a little girl to thinking
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  Speaker 3: about all of the things that I wanted to be
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  Speaker 3: as a woman. You know, I wanted to be loud
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: and brave and stand up for people, and I wanted
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: to have lots of lovers, and I wanted to have
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: I speak languages and travel and I wanted to be sophisticated.
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  Speaker 3: And and you know, we forget when we go through life.
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  Speaker 2: We forget to check.
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  Speaker 3: In with that little girl and like her dreams and
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: to find out, Wait, am I doing what I dreamt
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  Speaker 3: I was going to be doing?
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  Speaker 2: Am I doing more? Am I doing less? Am I
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: on track? You know?
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  Speaker 3: We fall off track all the time too, and it's
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: up to us to get back on track. So yeah,
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: you really, I mean, being fifty is fucking awesome.
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  Speaker 2: I'm about fifty and I.
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  Speaker 3: Can't tell you how grateful I am that I have
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  Speaker 3: all this knowledge about myself because now I have all
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  Speaker 3: this data to show you're the one who got you
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  Speaker 3: all this way, so you don't have to worry about
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  Speaker 3: you anymore.
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  Speaker 1: You've said in the book too, two steps forward, three
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  Speaker 1: steps back, Like, just because you have this great self
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  Speaker 1: awareness now and you've learned all this wonderful stuff about
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  Speaker 1: yourself moving forward, it doesn't mean you're going to fuck
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  Speaker 1: up sometimes, and you know your old habits are going
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  Speaker 1: to come. Like just ten minutes ago, I was an asshole,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: and I you know, I'm like, ah, I don't want
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  Speaker 1: to do this. I don't want to be go to
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  Speaker 1: those old habits of ways that I handle things all
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: the time. But in those moments, you're like, oh, it's
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: rising in me. You know.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: It's funny you say that because the other day I'm
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: dealing with this shoulder.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: I just had shoulder surgery because they found I found
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: an infection in my shoulder, and it was like.
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  Speaker 2: I was supposed to be up skiing. My whole schedule's
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  Speaker 2: all fucked up, you know, and.
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  Speaker 3: I have to stay home in LA after the fires,
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: which is obviously so depressing, and god, I have a house,
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  Speaker 3: but you know, I just wanted to be in my
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  Speaker 3: special place and it just kind of thwarted all my plans.
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  Speaker 3: And I was like, Okay, here's a perfect opportunity for
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  Speaker 3: you not to be a bitch, to have all of
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  Speaker 3: your plans up ended, but to still have gratitude.
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  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
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  Speaker 3: Be grateful that you found it, that they got, the
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  Speaker 3: that they caught, the affection.
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  Speaker 2: That you're not more sick. And also be kind to
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  Speaker 2: people when you're in pain.
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  Speaker 3: Because I was shuffling around from doctor to doctor and
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  Speaker 3: I was being short and I was just like not
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: making eye contact, and I caught myself and I was like, Okay,
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  Speaker 3: here's the next level challenge. Can you be nicer to
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: people when you are in pain? And my friend's like,
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  Speaker 3: you don't have to be nice to people when you're
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: in pain. I'm like, I know, but that's another level
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  Speaker 3: that I'd like to get to. I would like to
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: be nice to people when I'm in pain. It's easy
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: to be nice to people when you feel great, but
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: it's harder to be nicer to people when you don't
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: feel great.
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  Speaker 2: So that's my next challenge.
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  Speaker 3: So you know, the next day I was like, okay,
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  Speaker 3: everything today, be nice, be respectful, make eye contact please,
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: and thank you to everyone. It doesn't matter what kind
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: of paying you're in, you know, just kind of stuff
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: like that, like self awareness. Nobody tells you about self
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  Speaker 3: awareness when you're a kid or a teenager. We are
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: so stupid and blinded and we're so wrapped up in
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: ourselves and have our friends so far enough, so far
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: up our own assholes that it's like, it is the best.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: The best gift you can have is someone pointing out
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: your shortcomings.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. That's like one of the things when you have
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: a spouse or partner or somebody there's supposed to be
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: like a mirror of you, and they hold you up
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: to see yourself. How you don't see yourself and sometimes
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: you don't. It's not something pretty that you want to
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: look at. And that's the time you need to do
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: that reaching and that growing. Yeah, you think it's good
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: that you're like Also, every day is a new chance.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: You were like short and cold yesterday, but that doesn't
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: mean today you have to keep doing it that.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like the other day, just everything that could go
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: wrong went wrong went wrong. Went wrong, and I was like,
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: it's like, whack a mole, this fucking what is this?
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: And then finally I was like, you know what, go
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: take an edible, go up to your room. I also
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: have Viking in because of my surgery.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: I'm like, have a little party and then go to
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: bed and try again tomorrow.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Just try again tomorrow.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: No more contact with any other people, Like there's no
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: more reason to communicate, right, I need a time out.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: You did give yourself a time out. That's so smart.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. So turning fifty, what do you think
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: you've learned from other women? What that looks like, or
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: what maybe you want out of it?
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: I think the most, Like I've been asking a lot
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: of my friends because obviously a lot of my friends
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: are the same age or half turned fifty, you know,
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: because everyone always asked that question, what is it?
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: And you kind of hear these boring answers all the time,
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: like I feel great.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I've heard that so many times. It's
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: not that interesting.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: But I think one of the like the most interesting
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: things I've heard said about it is you spend your
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: twenties and thirties and worried so much about what you've done,
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: the mistakes you've made, and what you need to do
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: and not to fuck up in the future. Like we're
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: so busy about the past and the future that we're
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: not as present. And I think one of the benefits
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: of aging is that you become more and more present.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: And when you are present, those are the moments of
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: like bliss that you get, the moments of joyfulness that
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: are like I love this moment.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Or like where you know, you make up.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: I don't even drink coffee, but waking up and walking
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: into a kitchen and getting a warm cup of coffee
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: and actually being like joyful about that experience. As corny
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: as that may sound, when you practice that, you can
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: have that like fifty one hundred times a day, right,
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: you can and be like, oh my god, and my
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: bed is so comfortable. You know, this vicodin feels so good.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: You know my dog, like, how good looking my dog is.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: He's so beautiful.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: I'm so proud of his good looks. Like all of
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: those things.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: When you make it a pattern of behavior, it becomes
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: a pattern of behavior, and you actually do become you
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: kind of infect people with your optimism and like it's
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: powerful and I wish that's something I didn't know about.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: I didn't know about gratitude in my thirties, yeah, there
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: are my forties. Quite frankly, until my late forties, you
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: know and practice it. I was like, oh, that's annoying.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: That's like chakras and reiki, and I don't care about
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: those things either. But now I know, and I know
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: the difference it makes, so it's like it's up there
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: on my list.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: That's great.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: I don't make lists, ever, so I shouldn't even pretend.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: So much better way to go about your day feeling
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: grateful and seeing what comes to you because of just that,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: just being grateful for.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: Something grateful, and when you're really stuck in it, when
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: you're really stuck in your own pity party, reach out
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: and help somebody else, because that gets you right out
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: of your own ass when you reach out to someone.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: And now with everything that's happened in LA and the fires,
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: there are so many people you can help. I immediately
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: focus on other people when I'm starting to feel sorry
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: for myself or like insurmountable, which nothing really is.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, in reading your book too, I saw all
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: the opportunities that you've had to help other people, how
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: many lives you've changed and enriched, and how generous you are.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: And I think I didn't know those things about you,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: quite honestly, and now I kind of have a completely
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: different perspective and like like feeling about you after reading
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: this book for some reason, Oh wow, I feel like
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: I feel closer to you.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: Oh thank you. That's nice to hear.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, are you clear on what you're meant to do
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: now moving forward? Have you had that moment where you're like, ah.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: I'm clear on Like the best version of me is
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: when I'm speaking for others, you know, like highlighting others,
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: sharing light, not being selfish with any of the things
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: that I have, whether it's my time, whether it's financials,
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: whether it's you.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Know, like a spotlight on me. Like I know now that.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Like generosity is the key ingredient to like being happy,
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: to be generous and to be like greedy and to
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: be selfish is like that nothing ends well when those
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: two things are at playing right, Like, no one feels good.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: There's never a good story about being selfish. No one's
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: ever like and they were really selfish and they lived
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: happily ever after.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: But I think also, like I just I'm just getting
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: so much better at being who I am.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: And I'm also you know, everyone could argue that I
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: never gave a fuck about anybody in the first place,
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: because that's how people perceive me.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Right, I don't know, but I really don't give a
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: fuck now, Like I really don't.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: Like I'm so square with myself and what I the
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: lengths I've gone to for people and what I'm not
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: that you can't hurt me.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: What a great place to be. I love that. Okay,
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: so you dedicated this book to flight attendants.
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: Tell me why, because I feel like flight attendants really
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: need some more respect.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: They have been.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: Through COVID with people who refuse to wear masks as
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: if the flight attendants are making these rules. They have
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: endured people walking barefoot, playing with their toes, picking their
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: toes on planes.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: They have endured people.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: Faring in their sleeves shellfish my friend, my co host
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: on my podcast, well farting.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, farting. But we're all tolerating that. So that's just
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: a flight thing, which I actually read about the other day.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, well this I was waiting to read
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: about this. Obviously, the air pressure in the cabin makes
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: everybody fart, because why farting on planes in the first place.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: But my producer on my podcast, Catherine whom you met?
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: She when I met.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: Her, she traveled on planes with hard boiled eggs, eggs
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: on planes.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: And I was friend.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: First of all, I don't even want to know you anymore.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: Secondly, if you're going to bring a hard boiled egg anywhere,
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: and you shouldn't.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: If you are, you need to swallow it whole. You
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: can't bring it out.
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: Take a bite of it, and then that air emit
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: like you have to swallow it.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Whole, like they did in the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: Remember when she was coming. Oh no, that was airplane
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: in the movie when the end's just.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Different movie.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, But I think flight attendants.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: I spend so much of my life on planes, and
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: they make the biggest difference in your travel. It's so
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: nice to have a great flight attendant and more drop in.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: They are great. I've only ran into a couple of
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: duds in all the time. I mean, I would I would.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: Argue that I spend a third of my life on planes,
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: and they just really make everything better and nicer and there,
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: and they just really deserve our respect.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: There are babysitters in the sky and they're stuck with us.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah, I love flight attendants too. You're talking your
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: book about boundaries and about friend breakups. Those are two
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: big topics. I think as we aged, we're going to
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: run into these things. Boundaries isn't all your whole life
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: kind of thing. But as for friend breakups, what have
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: they taught you?
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: Well? I think a lot of boundary the lack of
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: boundary making can lead to a lot of friendship breaking,
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: you know, I think boundaries go hand. I've never been
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: good at boundaries. I didn't have any boundaries growing up.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: I ignored them when they were, you know, introduced to me.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: I've never said that's.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Too much, or you're too close, or this is I'm
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: like the opposite of a boundary, you know, whatever that is.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: So I've had to really learn that lesson probably seventy
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: five thousand times in my life.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: But I don't know that I'll ever.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: Change that part of me because I don't hate that
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: part of me, you know. I like the fact that
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: I'm kind of open and like come on you come
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: to the party too. I like that I bring my
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: driver in to watch a movie at my friend's house
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: or to a funeral. I mean a lot of people
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: think it's too much, and like, no, everybody, you know, Chelsea,
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: it's too much.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I like that. I think it's kind of fun to
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: like live life and and be that way.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: But but the lack.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Of boundaries always will come back and bite you in
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: the ass because when.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: You don't have them, then they're not there. No one
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: else is going to create them.
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: Because if a relationship is working in someone's favor and
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: there are no boundaries, obviously they're not going to be like, hey,
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: hold on.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: A second, I'll want some more boundaries here. So I
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: have had a lot of friendship.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: I always have had a lot of moving people in
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: my life. Like I've always had friendship breakups ever since
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: I was.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: A little girl.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: A lot in my adult life, I have lots of
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: friendships that are you know, very long, but I have
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: I've been through a lot of friends and had a
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: lot of friend breakups.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: And what I know about it.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: Is that.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: It's painful.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: And when someone doesn't like if you're the one getting
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: broken up with, someone asks you for space, give them
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: double Just let be like, be graceful.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Like you know, someone wants to end.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: If you're in a relationship and a guy wants to
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: end the relationship, let them go bye.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: That's okay. I will survive. I will come.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: You know, we all are going to survive. We've all
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: been through it. We all get there. When you're doing
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: the breaking up, that's different, you know now, I know
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: to be a little bit less, you know, harsh and
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: softer and not everything needs an announcement. You can just
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: kind of walk away quietly without making.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: A pronouncement about it.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: But for anyone who's dealing with being broken up with
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: in a friendship, I just I would always argue that
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: whatever you lose comes back to you in tenfold in
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: different versions of other people. If you you know, you're
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: going to make a new friend, or you're going to
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: make three new friends, and they are going to fill
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: what you never got from that friendship in the first place.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: If a guy breaks up with you, the next guy
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: you're going.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: To date is going to be great, and he's going
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: to be even better than the last guy. Like I
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: believe that I think the biggest part problem that we
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: have is like kind of resisting reality, Like you just
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: need to accept the reality of the situation.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: And I think the biggest hurdle that we all experience.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: And you and I talked about this a lot, actually
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: when you were when you finally let go of the
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: idea that you know, this relationship might not be the
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: relationship is when the relationship came became real again, right,
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: And it's letting go, like really letting go. And that's
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: what all of these books talk to you about, you know,
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: whether it's letting go or let them or all these
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: self help books, it's always about just don't hold on
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: so tightly to things, because when you do that, that's when.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: Things start to fall away.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, someone wants to leave, you, wish them well and
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: try not to sit there bitching and moaning and talking
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: about them.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Be graceful.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: It's that attachment, you know. We talk about that a
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: lot in this class that I take, it's a Buddhist class.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: It's about the attachment to the way we ca expect
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: things to be, or to the way we want things
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: to be, or to the way things have been. And
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: it's releasing that attachment that you get such freedom.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that sounds cool that Buddhist class. I would
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: love to go to a Buddhist class. Maybe I'll come
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: with you one day.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: I would love that.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: That's like the only spirituality slash religion. I mean, I'm spiritual,
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: but religion it's really debilitating and I can't even wrap
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: my head around it.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: But Buddhism really seems to be where it's at.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: It really does speak on a level that I comprehend
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: and like I can take it into my real life,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: which is more than I have ever found in any
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: other So yeah.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Right, And and I know you feel this way too,
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: Like we go through periods in our life where we're
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: not the best that we are. We're not the best
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: versions of ourselves. We do behave badly. That's we're human,
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: that's what happens. We do things that are regrettable. We
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: you know, fire off at people, say things. We act selfishly.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: We're not thoughtful. We can hurt people, but that's not
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: that doesn't define you unless you can't see.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: Yourself clearly, like you.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: A real, self actualized person looks at that behavior and goes, Okay,
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: I've got to do better, Like I can do better,
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: and I will do better.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: A person who's not self actualized, will be.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: Like, everything's fine. What do you mean that person's an asshole.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: That person's an asshole. That person's an asshole. It's like, no,
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: sometimes you're the asshole. Yeah, denominator is that you are
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: the asshole. And I have no problem, like, you know,
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: coming to terms with that at the point of my
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: life where I needed to.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I always say, stop pointing the finger and start
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: pulling the thumb. Yeah, you got to look at yourself
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: and what you what part you had in this situation.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: And it's always You're always going to have a pardon.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: It always, always have and always It's just so much
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: cooler in life to be non reactive, like you know,
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: when when when shit is hitting the fan and everything
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: is falling apart of the seams, where you can actually
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: sit in a place, you know, absent from running from
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: a fire.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: I'm not talking about that. Obviously, you have to be reactive,
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: and that's the instance, but I'm.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: Talking about like anything psychological or anything that's happening. It's
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: just so much cooler to be like, Okay, let me
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: take this information in and come up Instead of being reactive,
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: I'm going to come up with a response after I
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: thought about it.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't have to fire that text.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Off in the in the moment that I get the
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: text that annoys me, I can sleep on it. Like
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: I never believe those were actual options. When people said that,
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh yeah, sleep on it.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: I'm like maybe, no, no, no, I've.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: Got to defend myself. I've got to stand up for myself.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: And defend defend right. I'm right, I'm right.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: And then you get to a place in your life
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: where you're like, as long as you're arguing you're.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Wrong, right, nobody's going to feel good right in this moment.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: If you're good, if you're right, you don't have to argue.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: You just sit there and go okay, great, and then
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: there's there's no like, you know, you you kind of
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: diffuse the whole situation because you're not participating in the argument.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: You say at one point in your book, I'm going
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: to paraphrase because I can't remember you say that. To
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: know that I'm choosing myself always makes me recognize how
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: powerful I am. When I choose that, I will eventually
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: land on my feet. So it's all about those choices
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: of knowing yourself, knowing what you're capable of knowing what's
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: important to you and who you want to be out
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: there in the world.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And also like I've gotten this far right, I'm
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: going to be fifty years old. How old are you,
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Jenny fifty two?
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: Fifty two? You have gotten to be fifty two. Like
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: we're both sitting right here. We both have very healthy lives,
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: healthy careers.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: There's no more is this going to break me? Is
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: this going to break me? Is this going to be
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: my last opportunity?
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: Am I gonna There's no more of that because we
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: have the scientific data. It's been proven from the ages
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: that we started working.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: We're still here. We're still sitting here having this conversation
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: for one reason. Yeah, because we are equipped to deal
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: with this kind of lifestyle. So there's no more doubt.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Like the self doubt is not in my you know.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sure if something comes along, I can
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: experience it again. But as a whole, when I look
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: at my life and I think about all the times
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: I was like freaking out about an opportunity or when
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: I quit E I'm like, what if I never get
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: another job?
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: What if everyone thinks I'm.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: Terrible because I quit my job, and like, no, there's
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: none of that anymore. Like I've proven over and over
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: and over again how capable, how talented.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: And how reliable I am.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: And like now that I respect myself, like I feel
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: it all the time.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Right, you choose to trust yourself. That's the best feeling.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, right? Is that how you feel now at
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: fifty two?
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: Absolutely? And it gets stronger and stronger. But I still
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: do have to take those beats where I'm like, take
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: a deep breath, take a beat, Let think this through
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: before you fire back. I still have those you know,
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: things to learn and things places to grow to. But
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: I feel definitely very different at fifty two.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's pretty beautiful. You know, it's pretty
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: beautiful also.
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: To like watch what's happening in our industry and watch
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: watch all of the women and the ages that they
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: are at achieving what they're achieving, Like look at the
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: year that Pamela Anderson had, look at the year that
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: Demean Moor had, look at June's squib, like, look at
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: these women. You know, you used to be considered valueless
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: after forty and now Hollywood, which is kind of like
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: the leading influence over culture and always has been for
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: a long time. I mean, maybe TikTok will take over
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: or already has, but Hollywood has a pretty strong is
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: a pretty strong indicator of what's to come. It's pretty
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: beautiful to see women excelling at these ages and getting.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: More beautiful and more self assured and really being, you know,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: stepping into who they are as women.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: I like, I love seeing that, and I never will
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: prescribe or subscribe to the belief that a certain age
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: prohibits you from doing a certain thing, Like I was
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: talking about my shoulders somewhere that like, doesn't getting old suck.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: I'm like, this has nothing.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: To do with age, Like I will never relent to
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: like I will never be like I just give in
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: and give up, like, oh I'm getting old. No, no, no,
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: this is another bump in the road, and I will
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: get past it.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: Watch me, what if you did just lay down and
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: then you're like, oh, well, I'm falling apart. So I
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: guess I'll just put myself up to pasture.
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: I know, I would love to euthanize myself at some point.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: Apparently you have to be you have to be seventy.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: I said that to my sister. I'm like, I'm just
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: looking for a euthanasia doctor. And she said, you have
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: to be seventy, sissy, you have some time.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: Oh man, that's disappointing to hear.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: Actually because I love that feeling, not because I want
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: to be gone from this world.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, the world is a scary place, but I
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: love I had. When I had surgery on Friday, I
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: was like, whatever you get put under, I love that feeling.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: So and then they count back.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: They're like count back from ten and they go ten,
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: nine and then it's over. And I said to the anesthesiologist,
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: I go listen, I want I want to party.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: I want like.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Ten minutes of a good time. And he's like, I
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: want to be awake, don't just put me out and
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: it's over. I'm like, I'm getting surgery, but feel it. Yeah,
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: let's turn this into a fun vibe. I love talking
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, just get let me be on the
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: drugs for like ten minutes in the o R and
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: then you can put me out.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: And that's what he did. And who do you want
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: to party with him? Like, you guys, let's party.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Wait when you woke up for They're like, this is
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: what happened. This is what you said.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: My doctor's like, oh, you hadn't met Chelsea before. She
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: loves drugs.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: So no, I remember everything I said. I'm a great
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: drug user. We've talked about this. I was fully cognizant.
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: And it's not like we were even we were talking
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: about geography and world wars and the history of wars.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: But I just love that warm feeling, you know of
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: like conversation while you're you know, on opioids.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: You know, I can't really do those in my real life.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: That would be a disaster.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's too far.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, too far, Michael Style, can't go there. There. Even
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: though I've thought about that, doctor.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Well, there's still time tells. I know that you've gone
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: through breakups in the public eye as I have. And
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: right now with this beautiful chapter that you're in, what
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: does love mean to you? Like, what are you looking
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: for in a relationship?
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: I mean, right now I have a relationship with someone.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: I'm in one relationship. I'm not limited to being in
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: one relationship, Okay, I'm open to everything. I like the
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: idea of lots of lovers throughout my life. I like
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: the idea of lots of love stories. I've never been
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: someone to subscribe to this kind of Prince Charming fantasy
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: bullshit that we've all been fed our whole lives. I
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: want someone who knows that I need my space, that
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: I'm independent, that I don't need anything from.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: You except for your care. Like I woke up the
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: other morning.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: I was with my boyfriend in Whistler, Canada, and up
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: the other morning and he goes, do you know how
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: lucky I feel to wake up next to you?
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: He goes, do you know how many men would die
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: to wake up next to you? And I wanted to
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: be like, not as many as you think.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: But I was like, what a sweet thing for you
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: to think about. And then to say I would.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Like to articulate. Yeah, yeah, my part part.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: You would keep that to yourself. Most men, you know
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: what I mean, Like, I don't want to give her
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: too much power, too much love for me, But what
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: is to say out loud?
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah it is? We need that because we can do
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: anything we need to do on our own. We're all
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: such capable women, you and I especially, we call our
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: own trots, you know. And the men can feel really
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: intimidated by strong women such as us.
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and a lot of men think no, no, no,
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: I'm good. I like, I like your strength, like, yeah,
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: not going to emasculate me. And usually they say yeah,
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: right right, yep. What are you gonna do for your birthday? Well,
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: my book comes out on my birthday, so I'll be
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: doing my press tour.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: I have a ski video that I still need to to.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: Shoot, because every year I shoot a ski video of
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: me skiing down a mountain with my dogs and a
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: joint and the margarita.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna have parties wherever I go. I'm gonna
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: have one in Whistler. I'll have one in New York
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: because I'll be there for my book release.
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: I'll have one in La probably just kind of little
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: gatherings as I kind of go across the country in
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: different cities.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I'll just celebrate it throughout
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: the year.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: And yeah, fuck it, I thought, you know, I thought,
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: oh god, I don't need it.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: Whenever my friends started like, what do we want to do?
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: We've got to blow this out.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: This is your fiftieth And as soon as my editor
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: said do you want your book to come out on
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: your fiftieth, I go, actually, yes, that's perfect because that
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: takes the load off of all of this planning and
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: talking about planning, but on another aspect of it, I
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: just feel like so much of my life is a party.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: So much of my life is a celebration. I've had
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: so many nights where I felt like it was my wedding,
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: you know, like so many I get up on stage
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: every week and perform in front of thousands of people.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: That feels pretty fucking awesome. That feels like at your
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: birthday party every single time. So I was like a
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: little bit like, I don't know if I want to
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: celebrate myself. But anytime now that I'm resistant towards anything,
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: I just go for it.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, yes, you have to do it.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: Like I'm really bad at dancing, and I'm decided I'm
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: just gonna start dancing.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: I'm very self conscious.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: I know I'm a bad dancer, and i feel like
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: everyone's staring at me, and I'm like, you know what,
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: this is good. You're going to start dancing at fifty
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: and it doesn't matter.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: That you were kind of dancing just like solo dancing.
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: Any dancing, Like I can't even dance to a beat,
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: like at the tailor shone, like just go two step
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: and you feel like you.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Want to dance, but you hold yourself back because it's
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: not nobody needs to see that.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, totally like self conscious. It's like, my self
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: conscious thing is my dancing.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: And you should be free to just dance. I'm happy
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: you get to dance the whole year of yours.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: I know I'm gonna I'm gonna start dancing and not
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: care what anyone thinks.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: I love this. This is good.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I need I need new challenges.
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: I've you know, I need something else to like be like, Okay,
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: this is I haven't done. I haven't done a lot
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: of acting work recently.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do that decided. I'm like, I'm going
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: to do stuff that isn't in my comfort zone.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: It's like a beauty of it.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like.
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: Fifty is like a reset, like a reset, like okay,
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: now let me go around. It's like you're going back
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: into the hotel room to look and see what you
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: forgot right before you check out, You're like, okay, you
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: let me do one more past.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, Chelsea Handler, before I let you go, what was
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: your last I choose me moment?
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: Well, my breakup with Joe Koy was a big one.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: I choose me. That was great.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: I came to like a moment where it was either
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: I would have to compromise my whole being and what
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: I've grown up to be or and I didn't want
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: to break up. You know, we were in love and
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: I wanted it to work out. And in that moment,
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: I just remember like thinking, I have to use this
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: or choose myself.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: And I chose me.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: That's a big I choose me moment.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so glad.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad you did. You're so worth choosing. Like
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: you've proven time and time again your resilience and you're
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: so capable, You've reinvented yourself. And I really do look
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: up to you.
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, Thank you so much. I really appreciate that.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: And I'll be celebrating your birthday by dancing from.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, please dancing throw something of you. You did dancing
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: with the Stars, and you really know how to dance.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't anymore. Like once you do it,
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: if you don't do it more, you lose it. I've
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: lost it.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: So oh it's like Spanish.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but thank you so much for taking the time.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: All the best with your book, tour. You're going to
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: have such a great year. I see it, I see it.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Jenny, love talking to you. Thank you so
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: much too.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: Okay bye,