Latest / Scott & Ally on Demand / You look fat in that dress 2
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_02: Man, it is tough enough uh to have to deal with any sort of body image thing that's going on.
- 0:05SPEAKER_02: Uh even if you are the young person that and I'm sure you know to a certain degree just by looking around, oh, I might carry a little more on my bones than uh maybe a couple of my friends do.
- 0:20SPEAKER_02: I mean, I I I have to ask, is that not something that people do?
- 0:24SPEAKER_02: Do you not see and look around and be like, oh, well, I look a little different, and and you don't need that reinforced into you by your own mother that you're carrying extra weight.
- 0:35SPEAKER_01: Sure, I always thought that when I was a younger person, but then I look back at pictures and I was like, I wasn't fat at all.
- 0:42SPEAKER_01: Why why was I thinking that about myself?
- 0:45SPEAKER_01: Because I mean, along the way, there's yes, either there's people who are way skinnier than me, or because I was the heaviest and I knew it, and you're playing the comparison game, or you have a mom that does this who says, Hey, you look fat in that dress.
- 1:00SPEAKER_01: What would you guys do if you overheard a mom say to her kid, you look fat in that dress while they're back to school shopping.
- 1:07SPEAKER_01: Now keep in mind, don't know if the kid is carrying extra weight or not.
- 1:11SPEAKER_01: It could be a skinny kid that is being told this same thing.
- 1:15SPEAKER_01: It's possible.
- 1:16SPEAKER_01: So mom's the one who's imparting all of your body image issues.
- 1:21SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and it's not as though the mom shouldn't maybe intervene if there's a pattern of unhealthiness.
- 1:28SPEAKER_02: That's different.
- 1:29SPEAKER_02: But that's not the way to say it, is you're doing that.
- 1:31SPEAKER_02: Anyway, Trisha, go ahead with what you were you had this.
- 1:34SPEAKER_00: Hi, Ellie.
- 1:35SPEAKER_00: Hi, Scott.
- 1:36SPEAKER_00: Mom of three daughters here, all teenagers, and I just let them know that I don't like that on you.
- 1:42SPEAKER_00: It doesn't look good on you.
- 1:44SPEAKER_00: And if I heard a mom saying that to their daughter, I wouldn't intervene because I like to avoid drama, but I would let her know with my facial and body expresses expressions that eh she's not doing a good job.
- 1:59SPEAKER_02: I do like I hate confrontation too.
- 2:01SPEAKER_02: Is that what we're calling it now drama?
- 2:03SPEAKER_02: Okay, I'm fine.
- 2:04SPEAKER_01: Yes, but I also like 1774, who says I would tell the child basically directly she looks beautiful because the one thing that I do beat myself on is that being a hype woman.
- 2:16SPEAKER_02: So yes, I would You will step in.
- 2:18SPEAKER_02: The mother just said that you're going to stand around the mother and go, honey, you look beautiful in that dress.
- 2:24SPEAKER_02: You are.
- 2:24SPEAKER_02: Yes.
- 2:25SPEAKER_02: Are you sure you're really gonna do that?
- 2:26SPEAKER_02: 1000% would because that's a common theme with a few texts.
- 2:30SPEAKER_01: Yeah, oh yeah.
- 2:31SPEAKER_01: And and I think it even because I don't believe people would do that.
- 2:35SPEAKER_01: I I think it's teaching the mom a lesson by because I have been in a a dressing room with another woman and have seen her in something and go, oh my gosh, that looks good on you.
- 2:46SPEAKER_01: You should buy that.
- 2:46SPEAKER_01: That looks so good.
- 2:47SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I think I I absolutely would.
- 2:50SPEAKER_01: Um, then this one, I wouldn't say anything to mom.
- 2:53SPEAKER_01: I would reassure the child that they are beautiful and should wear whatever.
- 2:58SPEAKER_02: I'm having a hard time believing that you guys are all going to, okay, here's mom standing in front of the dressing room door.
- 3:04SPEAKER_02: Everyone's been to a Walmart.
- 3:05SPEAKER_02: You know how you walk out there.
- 3:06SPEAKER_02: I'm just using that as an example.
- 3:09SPEAKER_02: But you you walk out and there you are.
- 3:11SPEAKER_02: And that means now you are going standing next to the mom and essentially going, Oh, honey, you look beautiful.
- 3:17SPEAKER_02: I really can't believe many people have the bizalls to do that.
- 3:20SPEAKER_02: I think it would be great.
- 3:22SPEAKER_02: Don't get me wrong, but put your money where your mouth is.
- 3:25SPEAKER_02: I don't see you doing it.
- 3:26SPEAKER_01: When you hear the word fat, though, and it's a trigger.
- 3:30SPEAKER_01: It right, exactly.
- 3:31SPEAKER_01: Then all of a sudden, you as a woman, your gloves do kind of come up, and you go, uh, I'm gonna counter that.
- 3:37SPEAKER_01: And that's the difference.
- 3:38SPEAKER_01: So this one, I grew up with a mom, uh, I grew up with my mom constantly telling me that, meaning fat.
- 3:45SPEAKER_01: So I would definitely say something because that's what my mom said to me, and it messed me up pretty bad.
- 3:50SPEAKER_02: And you, I might believe, would say something, yeah.
- 3:52SPEAKER_01: It still does to this day.
- 3:54SPEAKER_01: For example, my mom just recently took me wedding dress shopping, and all the dresses I felt confident in, confident in, she didn't like.
- 4:02SPEAKER_01: So I settled with the one that she didn't have something negative to say about, and I really don't care for that dress.
- 4:07SPEAKER_02: And you're still doing it.
- 4:08SPEAKER_01: Oh, that makes me so sad for you.
- 4:10SPEAKER_02: So she didn't try to tell you you look fat in that dress while you're a full grown adult doing your wedding shopping.
- 4:16SPEAKER_02: Like this pattern hasn't continued.
- 4:17SPEAKER_02: No, it doesn't do your whole life.
- 4:19SPEAKER_02: Oh, would you think literally saying the same thing over and over like for years?
- 4:23SPEAKER_01: I think that she oh, yeah, for sure.
- 4:26SPEAKER_01: I mean, if she's still giving her negative feedback while while wedding dress shopping, yeah, she just hasn't the mom hasn't broken this.
- 4:36SPEAKER_01: Um, let me give you another one.
- 4:38SPEAKER_01: Um good everyone, happy Monday.
- 4:40SPEAKER_01: Good everyone! Happy Monday.
- 4:42SPEAKER_01: For a mother to see that, say that, I think is what they meant.
- 4:45SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for a mother to say that to a child is absolutely awful.
- 4:50SPEAKER_01: I would definitely speak up and say something to that mother.
- 4:54SPEAKER_01: There's definitely more tactful and respectful ways for a mother to let the daughter know that's just not a good choice.
- 4:59SPEAKER_01: Kids get enough hurtful things said to them by other kids, they don't need it from adults or parents.
- 5:04SPEAKER_02: What if they buy the dress and they go to school and then the this girl, let's say uh it doesn't matter if she's slightly overweight or not, and her mother's just saying this.
- 5:12SPEAKER_02: But what if the other girls, I think it stings even worse.
- 5:15SPEAKER_02: No, I don't know if it stings even worse.
- 5:16SPEAKER_02: When you get a group of girls, you know, at the lockers would be like, look at her.
- 5:21SPEAKER_02: Fat that.
- 5:22SPEAKER_02: You know, I mean, you know you know that that there's under-the-breath comments that get made.
- 5:26SPEAKER_01: They sting, it's just two different feelings.
- 5:29SPEAKER_02: You have the one is the person you rely on for everything, right?
- 5:33SPEAKER_01: And can count and are supposed to count on the person that you're supposed to be able to be the most comfortable with.
- 5:38SPEAKER_01: The other one is you're just always seeking approval, or you uh not always, but seeking approval at a at a young age.
- 5:45SPEAKER_01: So when you're not getting approval, it hurts as well.
- 5:48SPEAKER_02: And sometimes, are we in agreement though, it needs to be done better than what this mother's doing.
- 5:54SPEAKER_02: But there is also the health factor that if uh, you know, uh if there is a a a young woman in this case where there could be weight concerns, something will need to get addressed, but just not like this.
- 6:07SPEAKER_02: Am I correct?
- 6:07SPEAKER_01: Right.
- 6:08SPEAKER_01: You don't do it while you're shopping for dresses.
- 6:10SPEAKER_01: Right.
- 6:11SPEAKER_01: And also, again, you keep saying that like that, oh, there could be weight concerns or not.
- 6:16SPEAKER_02: Well, there may not be, but I'm just saying if there were, if there were was a situation where a parent is feeling, okay, uh you you are exceeding kind of a what I think your design should be.
- 6:30SPEAKER_02: There is something that has to get you just can't let it go as a parent, but this is a I agree with you 100%.
- 6:35SPEAKER_02: Doing it at a store, saying you look fat in that dress is the wrong way to do it.
- 6:39SPEAKER_01: Especially when other people can hear.
- 6:42SPEAKER_01: So not only are you the person who I'm supposed to be relying on to make me feel safe, but then you're gonna do it in front of other people.
- 6:49SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 6:49SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
- 6:50SPEAKER_02: I mean, you could pull my mic drop moment, and that's uh just to look at the mother and uh and and basically say if you think your daughter looks fat in that dress, uh, you look fat every minute of every day.
- 7:01SPEAKER_02: Mic drop's there it is, and we're out.
- 7:05SPEAKER_02: Perfect.
- 7:06SPEAKER_02: I mean, that would work, right?
- 7:07SPEAKER_02: Sure.
- 7:07SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, yeah.