Latest / Why Not Today? with Leslie Kane / The Why Not Today? Podcast - Season 3 - Episode 29 with Sharon Ferraro, Training Solutions, Inc. and Bite Me Cancer.

Transcript

The Why Not Today? Podcast - Season 3 - Episode 29 with Sharon Ferraro, Training Solutions, Inc. and Bite Me Cancer. · Why Not Today? with Leslie Kane

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Welcome to the Why Not Today podcast where we celebrate courage determination and the
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power of saying why not today.
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I'm your host Leslie Kane and in each episode we dive into inspiring stories of individuals
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who have taken bold steps, faced the fears and embraced the possibility of today.
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From entrepreneurs to artists, dreamers to doers, we explore the moments when they said
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enough waiting, why not today.
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Join me as we uncover the heartwarming, audacious and the transformative.
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Whether it's pursuing a lifelong passion, overcoming obstacles or simply choosing joy,
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our guests share their journeys and inspire us all.
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I started this podcast and honor my father, Patrick Kane, who often did say why not today.
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I always share, remember you're just one decision away from changing your life.
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And before we start the podcast, I just want to remind everybody listening, watching to
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share it with a friend.
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After this podcast, tell a friend to listen to it and check out all the why not today
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podcast stuff at the website, which is whynottodaypodcast.com, but review it, like it, share it.
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If you know somebody that could be encouraged by this.
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And today it's going to be an interesting conversation.
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I have my guest Sharon Ferrara.
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Is that pronounced correct?
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Okay.
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And she, we're going to talk about her courage stories.
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We're going to talk about the business.
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We're going to talk about a nonprofit she started.
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And then we're also going to tie in some personality assessments with the disc personality.
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So we're going to do a lot today.
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So I met Sharon.
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I don't even remember where I first met you.
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I don't need to.
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Networking something with your nonprofit.
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Yeah.
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And then we keep just crossing paths and then recently reconnected and had coffee the other
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day and just really connected.
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And I love the nonprofit you and your husband and daughter have started and your message,
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but also you've got a powerful training business that you and your husband run.
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And you've had an interesting life journey.
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I know the journey with your daughter and the nonprofit.
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We'll talk a little bit about that.
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But I think I was reintroduced to you several years ago when I went through the leadership
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pro Fairfax program.
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So just, yeah, my life.
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And then we ran into each other in a movie theater and we were comparing the popcorn
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and service of the movie theater journey.
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Yes.
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But it wasn't too good.
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We won't do it.
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But so Sharon, why don't you introduce yourself, give us a little bio of you, and then we'll
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go through and talk about courage and.
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Okay.
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And I come from upstate New York and a fun fact.
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Leslie is always about fun facts.
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I am.
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And I met my husband.
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The first year we knew each other.
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We didn't know each other's last name.
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We just kept running into each other.
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He managed a store and I would stop in every once in a while.
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Turns out we have the same last name.
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Really?
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So that sort of started our journey together.
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We both ended up in the big brother, big sister programs separately.
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And then we kind of realized we both were doing that.
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And so it just seemed like it was meant to be.
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We moved down here for his business work in 1984.
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And listening down here means Northern Virginia.
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Oh yeah.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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And we both were in Albany at the time.
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And we both, you know, just kept working, working, working, commuting, commuting, commuting.
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And at one point we were trying to look for the perfect time to have our daughter, which
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you know, when you're trying to have a child, there's no perfect time.
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And his job changed soon after she was born.
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He wanted to run his own business.
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And then three or four years later I said, you know what, I'm going to do that too with
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you and I joined him.
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So we've had this blessing of a business, a training business since then.
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And then we had developed this blessing of a foundation.
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And I have a very strong faith.
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That's really the foundation of everything for me, walking in God's love.
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And you know, that's all part of the courage philosophy.
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And you know, just keep busy here, work out in my home and love reading and gardening
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and praying and working out.
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Oh, so funny story.
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And I love all the connections that I was talking to one of my neighbors the other day.
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And she's been to the lunch a couple of times and I'm like, you need to come to this one.
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She goes, well, I know Michael and I know Sharon and their daughter.
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She's a spin.
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Oh, at life.
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That's who Michael knows.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And I'm also Melanie's dog Bosco and my dog are best friends.
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Oh, all the connections.
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Yeah, we've had a wonderful time here in getting involved in a lot of nonprofits.
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We both went through leadership fairfax.
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I was chair of the board for Main Street Child Development Center for over 10 years,
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which is a nonprofit center for the underserved families and have been on Northern Virginia
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Family Service Award Committee and, you know, different other organizations.
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Those of us, you get involved and it helps you be a better person.
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Absolutely.
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And it also, you know, it helps grow businesses.
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You don't do it if that intention, but people know like you trust you when you build that.
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That's right.
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So Sharon, what does courage mean to you?
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You know, you ask that every month at the luncheon and it always seems to be, you know,
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going through something even in the face of fear.
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But recently I was rethinking it and I came across a Hebrew definition of it, which is
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strength of heart.
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That really hit me because for me, the heart, the foundation of myself is God.
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So having the strength of God to help me get through anything is to me what courage is
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about.
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You put yourself out there, you keep your foundation strong and you push through it,
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whether it's, you know, a physical thing, a mental thing, supporting someone else who's
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going through a hard time, which is then going to be very hard for you.
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So that's what I see as my new definition of it.
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And everybody has different ones.
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And that's why I love asking this question and getting to know and they all, they're
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all related and they're all different, which is kind of cool.
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The only person that's ever looked it up and get, gave the definition from the dictionary
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was my brother.
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So you've had lots of courage journeys from business to personal.
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Let's start with the personal side.
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You have a nonprofit called bite me cancer.
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And I know, and this is in line with, well, you're just sharing your faith and your courage
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definition.
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So let's start there and then we'll go to business and the disc stuff.
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But so share a little bit about, you know, how you got the nonprofit, the journey, and
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you're still going through this journey.
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And I, my hope in these podcast episodes is when people listen to it, they can say me
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too, not that bad things happen and I know some things, but have happened to you, but
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it gives people hope and permission.
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There is a light on the other side is interesting.
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I'm on my youngest sister has Down syndrome and I'm on a Down syndrome Facebook group.
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And there was some mom that reached out last night anonymously, but she's like, I'm so
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sad.
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I'm so depressed.
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I'm, you know, her baby's 10 days old and, you know, all the things and I was just, I
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was tempted and I may go back and do it as opposed to picture my sister 40 tier two years
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later.
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Like, you know, when you're a middle that you don't think you'll ever come out, but
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you do and you come back stronger and I'll, but I'll help people.
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So let's talk about that journey, share your courage journey and any, why not to know today
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moments like those moments of your memory exactly where you were, what you're doing
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and that were pivotal into your life.
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Okay.
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Well, my daughter was 17 when she was diagnosed with a rare form of thyroid cancer in April
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2010.
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So that was very surreal, quite a shock, devastating.
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And there was no treatment available for her kind of cancer back then.
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So it was basically go in, have surgery and then who knows what will happen.
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So there were a lot of very strong faith moments from the day of the diagnosis that just kept
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giving me these messages of hope and to keep going.
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She was a trooper the first evening of the diagnosis.
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This is a good example of how she pushed us and we helped her.
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She had wanted to go watch a soccer game at her high school because her history coach
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was the coach.
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Her history teacher was the coach and if you showed up, you got extra credit.
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So as we were going to the doctor to get her fine needle biopsy to find out if this really
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was cancer, she had taken Valium and she on the way, she was like, Oh, can I still go
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to the soccer game when I get back?
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We're like, okay, maybe.
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And in my head, I'm thinking, well, geez, I don't even know what we're going to learn.
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So on the way home, after we learned of the cancer diagnosis, my husband had to get ready
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for a trip the next morning.
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He had to go get a haircut.
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And so I took her home and we ordered pizza and I was just, I was saying to her, you know,
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this can be whatever you want this to be.
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You hear people on, you see people on television say, this was the best thing that ever happened
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to me.
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It changed my life.
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I said, you can be mad, you can be sad, you can, you know, turn this into something positive.
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But you have permission to do everything and we will do all that we can to learn all that
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we can.
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So then a few minutes later, I was over in the kitchen and she said, hey, mom, can I
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still go to the soccer game?
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And I turned around and I was, I was like, that's what I mean.
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You can do whatever you want.
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This is it.
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She's just looking at me, rolling her eyes and she said, no, I just need to know if I
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can still drive since I took Valium.
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Oh, yeah.
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She took off and I just sat there by myself thinking, what is happening?
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She's going to watch a soccer game.
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My husband's getting a haircut.
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My daughter was diagnosed with this rare cancer.
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Life is still happening.
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So when she came home, we started actually, it was so surreal joking saying, okay, you
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still have to do your homework even though you have cancer.
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Okay, don't forget, you still have to make your bed because you have cancer and we made
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this into this joke, at least for that evening.
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Well, within a week, she had said, you know what, I want to lead a Relay for Life team
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for the American Cancer Society and we have had her godfather had cancer and we had attended
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some of his relays in the past.
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And I'm like, no, we have to go to Johns Hopkins.
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We've got to learn all this stuff.
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We've got to figure out if you're having surgery.
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She said, no, I'm going to do it.
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And one night she had the laptop and she's like, I need your credit card.
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I'm going to sign up mom and dad.
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And we were joking with her how she didn't have a name for her team.
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And out of that conversation, very funny way, but I know we don't have time for all of the
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details.
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The name Bite Me Cancer came up to be her Relay for Life team.
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So it turned out there was a relay in Oakden in June.
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Her surgery was May 17th.
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And even then it was like, why not?
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Like what?
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Why not today?
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Right.
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Why should we stop her?
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This is what she wants to do.
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It could be terrible.
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It could be wonderful.
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Well, the surgery was terrible.
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She lost the use of a vocal cord.
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It had the nerve had to be removed.
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She had cancer in many other areas than the doctors ever thought possible.
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And so we were devastated again, but she would not give up that relay.
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And so I said to her, you know, we'll go to the relay.
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It's an overnight event.
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You're not staying overnight.
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She's like, yes, I am.
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And so she raised the most money that really had ever raised her and her team, her dad
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and me and all of our friends over $20,000.
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That night was one of the most surreal nights.
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They do the little, you know, the lighted, what do you call those things, luminaries.
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And over she slept and Michael and I walked around and we started noticing all these luminaries
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with bite me cancer and Nikki Ferrara on them.
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Turned out there were like 350 and we had only had like 20 people by them.
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It was surreal.
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And the leaders of the relay said, well, we had, you know, we had all these luminaries
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and nobody was purchasing them.
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And for some reason we chose yours and your daughter and we just put her name on all of
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them.
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And that was powerful.
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He gives me chills.
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Yeah.
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So she just was focused on, okay, well now I want a foundation mom and dad since you
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guys are in other nonprofits and have led other nonprofits and now I want one.
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Well, and it just gives a testament to how much kids are they catch and they say caught
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not taught how much she watched you guys and her determination and sometimes it's kind
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of like a little kid, you know, they fall down and they're okay.
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But when you make a big deal, they're like, Oh, maybe I should be upset or maybe I should
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act hurt.
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But the fact that she was just, you know, it's perfect.
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Why not today moments that she just wanted to live her life.
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And I think that's the message I really want to pass on to people like things are going
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to happen, but we got to just continue to live our life and enjoy our life and not become
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a victim.
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Right.
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So what is, I know, so you started the foundation might be cancer.
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So what is the goal of that?
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The mission?
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What do you guys do?
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I know you do some cool things.
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Yeah.
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So she started it September 2010 with two main goals.
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One was to help teenagers support teenagers with all kinds of cancers because they fall
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through the cracks, she experienced that herself, the younger pediatric patients get lots of
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teddy bears and little coloring books and all kinds of things.
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And then you have the adult services, but the teenagers kind of are stuck in the middle.
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She was in an adult ward, even when she went through radiation, it was adult patients.
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And so she developed a teen support bag.
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And during that first year, we thought, you know, let's see if we can raise enough money
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to give out 100 bags in the local area to teenagers who deal with cancer.
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The other goal is to directly fund thyroid cancer research grants, not just give money
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to a larger organization like American Cancer Society, but actually meet the doctors and
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look at the research.
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Because at the time, and still today, thyroid cancer is one of the leading, fastest growing
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cancers to be diagnosed.
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And for a while it was actually higher up than leukemia.
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But because it didn't have, doesn't have a national thyroid cancer association.
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It didn't have the PR.
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So we've been doing all this.
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And I honestly thought this would be a great project for her for her senior year of high
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school, keep her positive.
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But you know, here we are now 14 years later, we've given bags to almost 13,000 teenagers
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in every state and DC.
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We get calls and emails constantly from the teens or their parents or the child life staffs.
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We're actually stuffing 350 bags on this weekend to send out.
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And we have run our 10th thyroid cancer research grant as well.
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So we've been able to expand some of our support services for teenagers, taking them to baseball
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game or hockey game, have some fun events at Dave and Buster's, all due to donations,
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either corporate suites or just donations that help us pay for things.
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And yeah, here we are, we keep going.
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This month next month is our 10th annual wine dinner, which is a fundraiser to focus specifically
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on raising funds for these teen support bags.
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And she still wants to do it every year we ask her because now she's 31.
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Thank God.
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She still deals with cancer, has to take oral chemo pills every day.
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That's been since 2014.
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And it's been great.
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At least there's treatment now until, you know, those first four years we had nothing.
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Right.
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But every year she says, mom, if we don't do this, who's going to do this?
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We can we can do it.
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So yeah, it's awesome.
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Here's where we are with the foundation.
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Love it.
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I love that, you know, she's committed to it.
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And I love the connection her and Michael and they're working out.
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And as we talked about the cycle studio or cycle spins teacher that's been.
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Yeah.
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So do you want to talk about Michael and his newest journey?
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Do we want to share that?
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Yeah, we can share a little bit of that.
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We don't have all the details of the treatment plan until tomorrow, but he was diagnosed
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with prostate cancer a little over a month ago, which was quite a shock.
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And for me, it's been another surreal moment of now I have two out of the three of us dealing
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with this.
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But, you know, he is who he is.
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So he's been sharing his story online.
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He's very focused on educating other men about getting your PSA, keeping up with your
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medical treatments.
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And he's doing the same thing that we wanted to do with the foundation and, you know, try
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to help others and give back.
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They won't, you know, a lot of people who get prostate cancer get a lower level of it
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and it's kind of an in and out thing, but his is a higher level.
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It's not spread yet, but he's got to have a bigger treatment plan.
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So I think it was mid August, he had to go get a pet scan done.
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And my daughter, you know, she still has to get scans done and doesn't enjoy going even
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into the buildings to get them because it's, you know, little PTSD moments here.
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And he was joking with her about how, you know, I used to go with you when you were
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little, I would take you, you know, at all your scans, you want to go with me.
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And in the background, I'm thinking, oh, no way.
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And she goes, I will, I will be there for you.
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You've been there for me.
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And to watch them both drive off together to go to that scan that day was just to my
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heart.
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I couldn't believe it.
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But, you know, I love that.
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You're, you guys are sharing your story.
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And that's why I wanted to have you on the podcast that one, you're sharing your story
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and you're trying to educate.
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I love Michael's Facebook live of sharing story and encouraging other people because
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often, and I don't want to, what in the experience I've seen is men are often not as forthcoming
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with going to the doctor.
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Absolutely.
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And there were two people that had prostate cancer or colon cancer, sorry, both diagnosed
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within a year.
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And they got to the point they both, when they were diagnosed were almost dead.
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Because of not getting treatment.
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One is doing great.
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And unfortunately, the other one passed away.
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And so, you know, educating other people.
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And I think if we can share the message and get educate people and like, let's be aware
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and let's talk about these things.
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Yeah, for sure.
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Everybody has stuff.
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Yeah, we all do.
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And I found we're talking to people, there's always a story behind the story.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I mean, I think I've never really put myself in the why us, why me, why her, especially
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having the foundation, we hear from so many families, even who have, you know, two year
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olds, four year olds who have passed away from cancer.
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So it is a constant reminder of how blessed we are.
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I don't, for a moment, I'm not glad we're going through this, but, you know, there were
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times when when my daughter started college, that was a hard thing to let her go away to
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college.
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She went to JMU.
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But in that first month, there must have been eight students on campus who died from different
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things.
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All freak accidents fell off a skateboard, hit their head, walked in front of a bus,
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all these things.
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And I remember on the last one, which was a freshman from our area, who we didn't know,
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but it really hit my daughter.
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And I hung up the phone after she told us what happened.
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And I said, I hope those parents were grateful for every day.
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If this journey didn't teach us anything, it taught us that.
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Well, I think that's really what I want to do with this podcast and the why not take
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message is encourage people.
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We got to live our day, our life.
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We are not promised tomorrow.
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And you know, cancer is one thing that affects a lot of people, but there's other things
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that happen and deaths and, you know, several moms that have lost sons.
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And it seems to be a lot of sons.
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And it just again, freak accidents and in their twenties.
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And so one good friend of mine, I've had around the podcast before Jodi, lost her son.
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He was 22.
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It was, I think, six or seven years ago.
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But you know, she shares it on social media and shares pictures of him.
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And one of the things she says is take the pictures and the goofy pictures and the dumb
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pictures and save them.
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Don't get rid of them if you're not perfect, because you're going to see the last year
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in the happy and yeah, yeah, we got to live her life.
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I actually went on when Nicole was three, I started a journal.
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I don't remember where I got the idea from, but it was to write down all her little comments
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and antics, the good, the bads.
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And I thought at the time, oh, this will be great for her.
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Like at 18 years old or 21, I'll give it to her.
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But it was really ended up to be for me when people talk about life is short.
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You know, when I go back through that, there are so many details and blessings and things
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I would never have remembered now that fill my memory bank and fill my life with her.
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With so much more.
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And I have yet to give it to her.
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She jokes about it.
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She's like, may I ever get that?
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I'm like, well, I don't know.
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I love to read it still.
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The other quick thing I would say that from the day of diagnosis, actually from the two
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days before that, which was Easter, there's a whole nother reason.
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The Bible verse John 3 16 came to her on Easter and then came to me on the day of diagnosis.
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And then to the next year would pop up like on the way to surgery.
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All these that to me is like the foundation of life.
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John 3 16.
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And so it almost was like, okay, we're, we're headed, you know, the bigger picture is beyond
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what we're dealing with right here.
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I got you.
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That we, we just go for it.
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Yeah.
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And I felt like I was given a gift of being the caretaker for my daughter.
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She was not mine.
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She was, she came from God.
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And she was a gift to me.
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So that really is like the biggest picture of how I live life.
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I love the story.
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And I love how you guys just turned it around and are positive about it and share it.
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All right.
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So we're going to pivot completely and go to business.
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So you and your husband have a leadership training business.
23:39
Yeah.
23:40
So he started building leadership management training company that he started in 1995.
23:48
And when you were asking, you know, what would be my, what was an example of my why not today
23:54
moment?
23:55
It has to do with the business.
23:57
At the point where he started the business, I was an executive at a telecom trade association
24:04
in Old Town, Alexandria.
24:05
So it was about a 45 minute commute on a good day.
24:08
Our daughter was just a couple of years old when I took that job.
24:12
And we merged immediately with another association and I was put in a higher level and I was
24:16
commuting between DC and Virginia and all over the place.
24:20
And over the next few years, I was realizing like, oh, this is really not what I want to
24:23
do with my life.
24:25
And I kept thinking, is it, you know, I just want to work closer to home.
24:28
Do I hate telecom?
24:29
This was when cell phones and pagers were still two separate things.
24:33
My back one.
24:35
Yeah.
24:36
And I was finding, I was actually starting to get headaches, stomach aches.
24:40
And there was one, I took a week off and did a staycation, planted flowers, walked in a
24:46
craft store looking around like, oh, people do this like all day long.
24:50
And went back to work refreshed.
24:53
And the next day, there I was back in all the physical stress elements again.
24:59
One day I was driving to work and I put on a Tony Robbins tape.
25:05
And one of the questions was, if you could do anything you want, knowing you're not
25:10
going to hear, no, what would it be?
25:12
And so I was sort of laughing.
25:14
I'm like, oh, this will be fun.
25:16
Let's see.
25:17
I want to work at home.
25:18
And this was long before people really worked at home.
25:21
Right.
25:22
I want to take a vacation when I want.
25:23
I want to be done by like three o'clock so I can be with my daughter after school.
25:27
I want to do this and that.
25:28
And there was like five or six things.
25:31
And I was just laughing thinking, yeah, that'll never happen.
25:34
And all of a sudden I had this eye-opening thought of, oh, my husband has a business.
25:40
Why don't I just work with him?
25:43
So I came home that night and I said, hey, I got to tell you what happened on the way
25:47
to work.
25:48
And I told him all this.
25:49
And he goes, yeah, yeah, maybe like four years from now you can do that.
25:52
And I said, yeah, no, I'm going to do it like within three months.
25:56
Good for you.
25:58
And he's like, what are you talking about?
26:00
We can't afford that.
26:01
Because I was really pulling the.
26:02
I was almost at $100,000 back in 1995.
26:06
So I was well up there, at least in the association.
26:12
And I said, well, what do we have to do?
26:14
So we put a business plan together and I am a very low risk person.
26:17
So this was not me at all.
26:21
And so the result was we would have to double the income of the business to just be able
26:25
to pay the bills and get through it.
26:29
So I was like, okay, then that's what we're going to do.
26:32
And he's like, okay.
26:34
So my my employees, my friends, they were like, oh, I remember my going away party.
26:40
Oh my God, you're so brave.
26:42
Oh my gosh, I can't believe you're taking this risk.
26:45
And I remember thinking and saying, no, this is this is meant to be like this is going
26:50
to work.
26:51
I can't keep up the pace and the physical issues and all that.
26:55
Well, I would say maybe within that year as we realized, oh, we're really doing this.
27:01
I thought, wow, how stress was I that me quitting a job and working full time with my husband
27:09
felt like the easier solution, the commerce solution, the more exciting solution.
27:16
Even when I look back sometimes now, when I was preparing for this, I thought, I still
27:21
can't believe I did that.
27:22
Yeah, it's definitely what I call the why not today moment that we just did it and you're
27:28
like, I'm going to do it.
27:29
Everybody else is like, what are you doing?
27:31
And when you know that you know that you know, like when I quit my job, it was 25 years ago,
27:35
people like, what are you doing?
27:37
And I'm like, I'm going to figure it out.
27:40
And I had a team member one time that wanted to quit her job.
27:42
And I'm like, what's the worst thing that's going to happen is you have to bless more
27:46
people and work a little harder.
27:49
And the business probably grew so much faster because you jumped in and you had a you had
27:54
a half to now where you had the safety net of your salary.
27:57
You didn't have it.
27:58
Yeah.
27:59
And sometimes those things happen and the journey is we have to and you just we we're
28:07
so much more capable than we ever imagined and so much more as possible.
28:12
Absolutely.
28:13
We have we use so little of our brain.
28:15
Oh, no, true.
28:17
That is just phenomenal.
28:18
What can be done?
28:19
And yeah, so here we are now celebrating the 29th anniversary of the business.
28:26
My husband jokes that we're at 41 years marriage and that's probably even the bigger.
28:31
Yeah, six challenge that we've overcome is that how did we work together all these years
28:36
and now really on two businesses.
28:38
Within our home.
28:41
And the interesting thing about the business is when the year that Nicole was diagnosed.
28:49
We were sort of like, oh my God, like how are we going to run our business because there
28:52
was a lot more we had to give to her.
28:56
That ended up to be our most highest our revenue year up to that point.
29:01
Of course, right?
29:03
It happened again in 2014.
29:05
She had cancer challenges in her lungs.
29:08
We had to go to surgery and then I had to go to the chemo and that ended up to be the
29:13
biggest year ever.
29:15
And now last year was again the biggest year ever and she had all kinds of challenges with
29:21
her side effects from chemo last year that scared the hell out of us.
29:25
And now this year he's got his diagnosis and now we're beating last year's and we're spending
29:31
less time.
29:33
Sometimes we don't spend much time at all on training or he does and I don't.
29:37
So it's just not funny at all.
29:40
God's going to take care of us and sometimes we just got to let it go and we can't be micromanaging
29:45
and it just works and I found that with my business.
29:49
I quit my job just because I'm like, like you there's a better world out here.
29:54
Just most later my dad had a stroke and I was able to be there and be at the hospital and
29:59
be there for family and not have to take off.
30:01
Thank goodness you didn't have that job.
30:04
And you guys grew the business when you did so you didn't have to depend on your salary
30:08
but then you could step out and help Nikki when you needed to.
30:11
Yeah, for sure.
30:12
Like you imagine if you were working and it would have had to say, I have to take time
30:15
off.
30:16
Yeah, I mean just for the medical would have been a complete challenge and I still tell
30:21
her every once in a while like when people will say, you know, this foundation is doing
30:25
amazing things and you've raised all this money and all.
30:29
And Michael and I look at each other like, well, if we didn't work at home and we didn't
30:32
have all this flexibility, there might not be a foundation.
30:35
Yeah.
30:36
But it would be very small compared to what we're able to do now.
30:39
Yeah, exactly.
30:40
Yeah.
30:41
So I know you're going to be the guest for my why not say connect to luncheon at the
30:45
end of September.
30:46
And so one of the things we're going to talk about is a disc personality assessments.
30:49
And I know that's what you get.
30:51
One of the things you guys teach and do with your company.
30:56
So I just thought it would be fun to give kind of a big overview kind of a tease of
31:00
what we're going to talk about.
31:02
And you know, obviously everybody listening to podcasts cannot come to the luncheon.
31:06
So give a little bit of information, but I'm hoping people will listen to this and say,
31:09
Oh, I'm going to come to that luncheon and learn more.
31:12
So what's share I know for me and my Mary Kay career, we've used a disc personality
31:18
assessment.
31:20
Often and they even used to have catalogs and different marketing materials and had
31:24
four women in the four different personalities.
31:25
So why don't you give a big over brief overview of it and then how it can relate to work
31:31
personal knowing yours and then how you can work with other people.
31:35
Yeah.
31:36
And so the everything disc model is one we've used the entire time we've had the company
31:40
and there are different.
31:42
Disks, slightly off models, depending on who the publisher is.
31:47
But the one we use is the is the original one and it's got a small I so it's DISC with
31:52
a small I.
31:54
And there's there are basically four styles, which are the DISC.
31:59
So D is the more direct, active, sometimes skeptical, in control style.
32:07
The I is the active, accepting, influential style.
32:12
The S is very reflective, sensing, accepting of people stable.
32:20
And the C is more reflective into the numbers can be more skeptical trying to like make
32:25
dot the eyes.
32:28
And then within the expanded disc, then you have combinations of those DISC's that bring
32:35
it more specific to you as a person.
32:38
And when we do it in the workplace, we ask people to fill out the assessment based on
32:42
their work styles.
32:44
But you certainly use it in personal life.
32:47
That is probably why my husband and I are still together after all the pressures and
32:52
running these businesses because we we knew his style very early on before I joined the
32:57
business and then I actually used his disc materials in my telecom association just in
33:05
my department.
33:07
And it was so eye opening, when you have people who talk differently, listen differently,
33:14
are just different.
33:16
There's a very easy way to judge and think, you know, you're right, they're wrong.
33:21
And so when you have, I'll just use the model of my husband and I, so he's a high D, high
33:27
I.
33:29
So he's under stress, he will be very, you know, let's just get this done under control,
33:35
or you know, if he was in a meeting, he would, you know, be telling people, this is what
33:39
we're going to do.
33:41
I am a low D, but I'm a very high S, which is the very sensing supportive person.
33:48
And he's a very low S.
33:50
So we joke about how when there's stress, I want to take care of it.
33:55
And he wants to tell it somebody what to do.
33:58
So when we're in the home together, and even with our daughter, we know like if one of
34:03
us is under stress, so I will joke, oh, your dad's being a D again, and or my style.
34:11
So we can learn how to interact with each other better.
34:17
In the workplace, when I did it with my team, one of our fellow VPs was a very low S, low
34:25
C, just give me the numbers.
34:27
I'll tell you what to do with them.
34:29
And I would come into her office before I learned this, and I would start chatting like,
34:34
how was your weekend?
34:35
How are your kids?
34:36
Because I'm a high S. I want to know about the family.
34:39
And we were not gelling at all.
34:41
I was just wasting her time.
34:44
But once we went through this, and then I talked to her about it, we both acknowledge that
34:49
just because we have a different priority doesn't mean either as a bad person or wasting
34:55
each other's time.
34:57
And so we started to get along great.
35:01
If you're in a team and somebody's the idea person, they come up with the ideas and you
35:05
go, okay, go take that and give me a business plan.
35:08
Well, they're not the business plan person.
35:10
They're a very low C, so they can't do that.
35:12
Yeah, so it's really like, so is DIC, is it something we're born with or we?
35:20
There's a natural tendency.
35:22
There's natural tendency, but you can adjust based on your environment.
35:27
Right.
35:28
And you can learn.
35:30
And sometimes you can just appreciate where you have to put yourself out of your comfort
35:35
zone to be a different style.
35:39
And you know that that might stress you out.
35:42
So you prepare for that ahead of time.
35:46
I think that has to do with courage that you have, you know what you, how you show up.
35:52
And it's being able to, what I've learned is then being able to figure out other people.
35:56
So there's pretty quick ways to figure it out.
35:58
Just have somebody walks in the room or ask them a couple of questions.
36:01
You can pretty easily figure out and being able to adapt to their style.
36:05
I always use, you know, with the Mary Kay example in my Mary Kay business, like the
36:10
D personality, she's trying products.
36:12
She wants to know how quick she can use it, how quick we're going to be done.
36:17
Like I don't want to spend an hour doing this party, you know, if it's a party kind of situation.
36:22
The eye is looking at herself in the mirror the entire time, not listening to a word I'm
36:26
saying the S is more concerned like, okay, I might have to get home to my family.
36:31
Are they calling?
36:32
Or can I get this product?
36:34
And is it going to work?
36:35
Cause my family is important.
36:36
I don't want to spend money on me.
36:38
And the C wants to know every single flipping ingredient, which obviously I'm not a C the
36:44
way I put it.
36:45
Yeah, right.
36:46
It just works, you know.
36:47
And so knowing people's personality and be able to adjust that when I knew people's personality,
36:53
I could adjust.
36:54
And you know, as you go through life and work and doing events and things we talked about
36:58
the other day, you and I were talking about people's personalities and you, you know,
37:03
under stress, you know, how do we show up and our personality gets bigger and to know
37:08
that you need to control it so it doesn't get big in the wrong way.
37:13
That is right.
37:14
And with life changes, people can have big adjustments.
37:19
Sometimes when there's a child or there's a firing at a work or whatever, they can change.
37:25
But you know, it's, it can stay with you if you let it because you can learn so much from
37:31
it and learn about people and be more forgiving.
37:34
And you know, it's, it's not all about you.
37:38
And as we're talking, and I'm thinking about my mother, she's got a lot of S in the detail
37:42
and family and, and, and she often is like, well, start telling me a story and it's kind
37:49
of a joke that she starts telling me something.
37:51
I'm like, and what was she wearing?
37:53
Like, get to the point.
37:54
Like what time's dinner?
37:55
Well, we're going to do this.
37:57
I'm like, I just want to know what time do I have to show up?
38:00
You know, that's the D at me is like, I don't need all the details.
38:04
Just tell me the answer.
38:05
Right.
38:06
But yeah, we could talk about this all day and I'm excited.
38:09
You're going to be at the lunch and we're going to do some fun exercises around it.
38:12
Yeah, it's just a fun activity.
38:15
I don't want anybody to think, oh God, I'm going to have to, you know, tell secrets.
38:19
So I'm going to have to learn something.
38:21
I'm going to have to like, it's just a fun game with cards with disc cards that gets
38:26
people up and around and looking at all these different disc words to see what fits with
38:32
each person.
38:34
And then they can just relate to it and share it with the group.
38:38
That's awesome.
38:39
So how would you encourage somebody else to be courageous?
38:44
You know, I think for me, it really does come back down to faith.
38:49
It really does.
38:50
I use the let go and let God a lot.
38:55
And I feel like, you know, we hear life is short all the time and I really try to look
38:59
at it as life is full.
39:02
And you can be, you should always be in the now and not worrying about things that haven't
39:08
taken place yet or might or probably will never take place if you're worried about them
39:13
and just take step at a time.
39:15
I mean, I've learned in this cancer journey, sometimes it's a day at a time.
39:20
Sometimes it's an hour at a time.
39:22
It's not usually a month or at a time.
39:25
So you just give it a try.
39:28
There's always something to fall back on.
39:30
I mean, in the end, you have your faith to fall back on, but there's other opportunities
39:35
for jobs and other things to try if it doesn't work.
39:38
But in your heart, if you know you want to try it, then you just need to try it.
39:45
So true.
39:46
Well, I always try to connect this back to my dad and people are like, well, I've never
39:50
met your dad, which did you ever meet my dad?
39:52
Oh, no.
39:53
I didn't know.
39:54
I mean, he was change, started the chamber and around lots of rest and things.
39:59
I was actually just having coffee with somebody today that I think my dad was the first president
40:03
of the chamber and she was like the third or fourth.
40:08
And it's interesting that two of the other ones were bosses of mine.
40:11
So I must be following this chamber thing.
40:13
But I always try to connect things back.
40:15
So he did do the redevelopment.
40:18
He was a city planner.
40:19
Did the redevelopment of Albany, New York later on years ago.
40:23
And then the other thing is just your determination.
40:27
And as you guys have fought the cancer battle, and he was very much like that.
40:31
He had a stroke in 2000.
40:34
And I mean, he was down and out like months.
40:36
Kometos didn't think he'd make it.
40:39
And he did and came back strong.
40:43
And, you know, he up calling.
40:45
He had such a determination to fight.
40:48
And he's like, I have grandchildren.
40:50
I need to teach people.
40:51
I'm not done in this world.
40:53
People would ask, how are you?
40:54
And he's like, I'm on this side of the grass.
40:56
And then he was diagnosed with cancer a few months before he finally passed away.
41:03
And he wanted to go through the treatment.
41:04
And we're all thinking, really?
41:06
Like, I mean, his quality of life was not that great at that point.
41:10
But he was fighting till the end.
41:12
And, you know, he was not going to let life, you know, he's going to live fullest till the
41:17
end.
41:18
And he did.
41:19
The day he passed away, actually went to the dentist, like led a regular or normal day.
41:25
He went to the dentist and then he passed away later that day.
41:27
That night.
41:28
Yeah.
41:29
He went to the dentist.
41:30
It happened to be his birthday.
41:31
His appointment was on the phone talking to people.
41:35
He was always at night after work.
41:36
He owned his own business.
41:37
So he'd go to the office and start making the phone calls.
41:40
It's funny.
41:41
I met somebody in Kathy Hutchins office and Kathy was a part of the Fairfax County board
41:48
in the rest in area.
41:49
And I met somebody at a Mary Kay event one time and she said she worked for Kathy.
41:53
I'm like, oh, my dad, you know, I know Kathy, but like my dad does, he goes, what's your
41:57
dad's name?
41:58
And I told him, she's like, I have his phone number on my desk.
42:00
I talk to, he calls me daily.
42:02
But that's great to be that active.
42:06
Yeah.
42:07
So, well, thank you Sharon for all this and probably went a little longer, but we had
42:10
so much to talk about.
42:12
And so hopefully people listening will share this with other people and come to the luncheon
42:19
if you're around.
42:20
It's, we have a couple of weeks from when this is going to launch to the luncheon.
42:25
So the luncheon is September 26th of Thursday.
42:29
And so thank you everybody for joining us on this inspiring journey.
42:34
Remember, every day is an opportunity to take action.
42:37
Chase your dreams, make a difference.
42:38
So why not today?
42:40
And make sure you subscribe, like it, share with a friend, check everything out for why
42:43
not today at the why not today podcast.com.
42:47
And again, thank you for sharing for your story and thanks everybody for listening and watching.
42:52
That's wonderful.
42:53
And remember, say why not today?
42:54
That's right.
42:56
Bye.