Latest / Tribe and Tribulations With Julia Makowsky / 9/11 Took Her Sister. 25 Years Later, She’s Keeping Nancy’s Story Alive.

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9/11 Took Her Sister. 25 Years Later, She’s Keeping Nancy’s Story Alive. · Tribe and Tribulations With Julia Makowsky

• 0:00
  She just started her life and boom.
• 0:03
  Wake up one morning and you're done.
• 0:05
  Nancy was an amazing person.
• 0:08
  She was my oldest sister.
• 0:10
  She was part of a biking community.
• 0:13
  She raced, she skied, she lived life.
• 0:16
  I was driving to school.
• 0:19
  It was like 9 o'clock in the morning and I was listening to Z100.
• 0:22
  There was an interruption saying that something hit the towers.
• 0:27
  No one ever thought that Nancy was gone.
• 0:30
  It's not till after the medical examiner stopped did we sit Shiva.
• 0:35
  And that was two and a half years later.
• 0:37
  Are you afraid people will forget?
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  That is why I have to do certain things in my life.
• 0:41
  Because if I don't, then...
• 0:43
  people will forget.
• 0:44
  It's just another name.
• 0:45
  It's just another tragedy in the world.
• 0:48
  I can't let people forget.
• 0:52
  Welcome back to Tribe and Tribal Relations.
• 0:53
  I am Julia Makowski, and I am so happy you are here.
• 0:58
  25 years ago, the world was forever changed.
• 1:02
  Most of us remember exactly where we were on September 11th.
• 1:06
  But for some families, 9-11 isn't just a date in history.
• 1:10
  It's the day their life split,
• 1:13
  from before to after.
• 1:16
  Today's guest is someone many of you know as one half of Topaz and Ruby, but long before her jewelry and entrepreneurship, building a beautiful business, she was simply a little sister.
• 1:29
  Her older sister, Nancy, had just begun an exciting new chapter of her life when she was killed in the World Trade Center.
• 1:37
  Today isn't about revisiting the headlines.
• 1:39
  It's about remembering the women behind it.
• 1:42
  Cindy, thank you for trusting me with this conversation.
• 1:44
  We love you so much.
• 1:45
  Thank you so much.
• 1:46
  I'm so happy you're here.
• 1:48
  I'm so happy to be here.
• 1:49
  Thank you so much.
• 1:52
  Can you tell me a little bit about Nancy before any of this happened?
• 1:56
  Nancy was an amazing, amazing person.
• 2:01
  She was full of life.
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  She lived her days and life to the fullest.
• 2:09
  She was part of a biking community.
• 2:13
  She raced.
• 2:14
  She skied.
• 2:16
  She lived life.
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  She was just an all-around type of person.
• 2:20
  She was a great friend.
• 2:22
  She was a happy person.
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  And she just lived her life to the fullest.
• 2:27
  When someone says Nancy, what's the first image that pops into your head?
• 2:31
  Happy, smiling, smiling.
• 2:36
  Just a good person.
• 2:40
  What role did Nancy play in your family?
• 2:42
  Nancy was the oldest in my family.
• 2:44
  I'm the youngest.
• 2:46
  I have another sister right below Nancy.
• 2:48
  And I have two brothers.
• 2:52
  Was she responsible?
• 2:53
  Was she funny?
• 2:54
  What was her personality like?
• 2:56
  She was funny.
• 2:57
  She was a responsible person.
• 3:00
  She worked very hard.
• 3:04
  And she just was a very, very good sister.
• 3:08
  She was my oldest sister.
• 3:10
  So she was just one of these people that, you know, people relied on.
• 3:16
  She was an amazing friend.
• 3:18
  She was just a very, just a really good person.
• 3:24
  When you think of Nancy and you think about your favorite memory with her, what's that?
• 3:31
  So I just came back from Israel when I was 18 years old and we, she wanted to hang out.
• 3:41
  Like it was Labor Day weekend.
• 3:43
  She was like, let's go to the beach.
• 3:45
  So I said, okay, let's go.
• 3:47
  I picked her up from the train cause she lived in the city and we went to the beach and we chilled, we hung out.
• 3:52
  We had the best time.
• 3:53
  I just got back from Israel for the year.
• 3:56
  And it was like, kind of like one of really the first times that we kind of hung out.
• 4:00
  Remember, she was 32 and I was 18.
• 4:02
  So it was like just a very fun, amazing day at the beach.
• 4:07
  I drove her back to the city.
• 4:08
  We had a great time.
• 4:10
  We went to the Upper West Side.
• 4:12
  We hung out.
• 4:13
  She was showing me her apartment that she was going to buy.
• 4:15
  And it was just an all-around amazing, beautiful day.
• 4:19
  And then we said goodbye and that was that.
• 4:23
  Yeah.
• 4:23
  That was the last time you saw her.
• 4:28
  It's not an easy story to tell.
• 4:32
  And it's so hard because you were really just coming into yourself where you're able to – you're both adults at that point.
• 4:41
  Before then, you were just her little sister.
• 4:43
  It's hard to like create a relationship and a dynamic that's meaningful before then.
• 4:48
  Do you feel like there was a point where you're like it's finally shifting?
• 4:54
  A hundred percent.
• 4:55
  I mean, that's exactly – you nailed it.
• 4:57
  That's exactly how I felt.
• 4:58
  I felt like I actually – we can actually hang out and be friends.
• 5:03
  Like I'm so excited.
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  Like we're very similar.
• 5:07
  We're just – we like skiing.
• 5:10
  We like this.
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  We like that.
• 5:11
  Working out.
• 5:12
  I mean like she was like me and –
• 5:18
  I really – it's – every time I think about it, I'm like it was meant to be.
• 5:22
  I mean we literally just hung out.
• 5:24
  It was crazy.
• 5:25
  And it was – And I just – I was literally coming into myself like you said.
• 5:29
  And I – yeah.
• 5:34
  What was Nancy's career like?
• 5:36
  Can you tell me a little bit about what she was doing?
• 5:37
  Nancy worked for a travel agency, and she did the travel for this big equity firm, Cantor Fitzgerald.
• 5:46
  I guess she did such a good job.
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  They said, you know what?
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  Nancy, we would love to have you on board.
• 5:52
  In April 2000, she started the job at Cantor Fitzgerald, and she said what an amazing view she had of –
• 6:03
  the city.
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  I mean, she, it was like kind of like a jump in everything, in every aspect in life to this amazing firm.
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  And it was a job she couldn't not take.
• 6:15
  So she started working there in April 2000.
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  And that was six months before 9-11.
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  And she,
• 6:27
  What floor was Cantor Fitzgerald on?
• 6:28
  Cantor Fitzgerald, she was on 104.
• 6:33
  And she was in the North Tower.
• 6:38
  So it hit higher than 90, I think 98.
• 6:43
  So she was on 104.
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  That's where she worked.
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  And she had to be there early.
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  We're going to get into the part that's hard.
• 6:54
  And I know that you haven't really spoken about this story.
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  Your father wrote a beautiful book about Nancy's life.
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  But this is the first time that you are really...
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  Honoring your sister's memory in this capacity.
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  So I just I want you to know before we go into this.
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  How appreciative I am that you're trusting me with this story, because I know it's not easy.
• 7:20
  And I appreciate it.
• 7:21
  I really do.
• 7:22
  I really feel like it's been 25 years and while.
• 7:29
  It's so long ago.
• 7:31
  It also feels like yesterday.
• 7:33
  Like I really remember exactly where I was the morning of September 11th.
• 7:39
  It was picture day at my school.
• 7:41
  And I remember it being like, what do you mean we're not going to school today?
• 7:46
  Talk to me about your morning that morning.
• 7:49
  So I just started Brooklyn College.
• 7:53
  Probably was like the first week and I was driving to school.
• 7:57
  I was parking.
• 7:58
  It was like 9 o'clock in the morning and I was listening to Z100.
• 8:01
  I mean whatever music and there was an interruption saying something that something hit the towers.
• 8:10
  And I was like – at that point, I didn't really know really anything if she worked.
• 8:14
  I didn't really know.
• 8:16
  So I call up my mother and I'm like, mom, you got to watch the TV.
• 8:20
  And she's like, no, I got to dive in.
• 8:21
  I'll look at it soon.
• 8:23
  I'm like, no, you got to watch the TV.
• 8:24
  You got to turn it on.
• 8:25
  She's like, what happened?
• 8:26
  I'm like, something happened at the Twin Towers.
• 8:30
  You need to turn on the TV.
• 8:32
  She turned on the TV and –
• 8:36
  It was like chaos.
• 8:38
  I mean, obviously no one knew what was going on.
• 8:40
  I remember like parking.
• 8:44
  We still didn't know what was going on.
• 8:46
  I'm walking around college.
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  Everyone is in chaos.
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  People are talking about it.
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  I'm just like sweating.
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  I didn't know what I was going to do.
• 8:57
  And then I think they canceled classes.
• 8:58
  I went home.
• 9:00
  At that point, my mother –
• 9:03
  was like started cleaning the house.
• 9:06
  I mean she was like in a state of craziness.
• 9:10
  My father at that time, I think he was on the train.
• 9:13
  He went to work.
• 9:14
  He worked at 42nd at the New York Times and he saw on the billboards something with the towers.
• 9:22
  And obviously we didn't hear anything.
• 9:24
  We don't know.
• 9:24
  Yeah.
• 9:27
  Later on, I know that all of her friends were calling her house phone.
• 9:31
  You know, Nancy, did you go to work?
• 9:33
  Nancy, did you go to work?
• 9:34
  Like, what's going on?
• 9:35
  Are you there?
• 9:35
  What's up?
• 9:37
  And at that point, I guess, people didn't take cell phones to work.
• 9:42
  We found out after that she left her cell phone on her bed.
• 9:44
  A week later, we went back to her apartment.
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  So there was nothing.
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  But, like, we didn't know what floor she was on.
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  So it's like you know that –
• 9:54
  Something's happening.
• 9:55
  Something's happening and you just – you don't know.
• 9:57
  Hours later, we figured out, okay, she worked on 104 but nothing.
• 10:03
  I mean it was like the girl just started working there so many – like just a few months ago.
• 10:08
  We didn't know everything.
• 10:10
  Right.
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  And she was also 32 years old.
• 10:12
  She was an adult and like really was her own independent person.
• 10:17
  And the idea that you basically are just – I don't know what her day-to-day schedule is and where she is.
• 10:22
  We knew that, you know, Cantor, you have to be there early at 8 a.m. or whatever it is when the trade or the stock exchange opens.
• 10:29
  So you know that, you know, she was there early.
• 10:32
  But otherwise, we don't know.
• 10:38
  Was there hope that she had gotten out?
• 10:41
  I mean, there wasn't any, we were not thinking anything happened.
• 10:45
  We were thinking, you know, she was somewhere.
• 10:50
  I mean, who could think that you can lose somebody?
• 10:55
  She's not, nothing's wrong.
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  Like she just either couldn't make it to the phone or she is just somewhere else.
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  She was at the store.
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  I mean, like nothing.
• 11:04
  We didn't know anything.
• 11:05
  I mean, there was, it was 100% hope.
• 11:09
  Can you talk a little bit about those days after the towers came down?
• 11:18
  Again, we had full hope that she was alive.
• 11:24
  Cantor set up a.
• 11:26
  like a center for families, like I think it was a day or two after where everyone would just like congregate because everyone was in pure chaos.
• 11:35
  Howard Lutnick, who was the CEO, had a Rolodex of all the names.
• 11:40
  I think he might have been going to different hospitals looking for, you know, people or names.
• 11:47
  But again, all... No one ever thought that Nancy was gone.
• 11:54
  We all thought...
• 11:55
  She's either has amnesia.
• 11:57
  She hit her head.
• 11:58
  We're going to find her.
• 11:59
  We're going to, you know.
• 12:04
  As time progressed, one of the things that hit me so deeply with your story was that
• 12:13
  They didn't find any remnants for a very long time.
• 12:19
  And within Jewish law, there's a lot of nuance when it comes to mourning and funerals and –
• 12:28
  Did that play into this idea of, okay, there's still hope that she's somewhere, lost her memory, doesn't know what end is up and we need to find her?
• 12:39
  Was there a sense of like urgency around your family and things like that?
• 12:43
  How did you guys cope during that time of the unknown?
• 12:46
  We had full hope.
• 12:48
  I mean for a very long time.
• 12:51
  There was a whole medical examiner where we had to bring like DNA.
• 12:54
  We took her toothbrush or her hairbrush.
• 13:01
  We had full hope.
• 13:03
  It's not until after the medical examiner stopped IDing things.
• 13:10
  did we sit Shiva?
• 13:11
  And that was like two or two and a half years later.
• 13:14
  We went according to whatever rabbi my father was going by and we didn't sit Shiva for two and a half years.
• 13:22
  And that was like, you know, you're in a state of chaos and then two years later, you're two and a half years later, you're reliving the situation again and you have to like face it and it's like it actually happened and you're just like, did it really happen?
• 13:37
  It's kind of like –
• 13:39
  Yeah, you're thrown back into it.
• 13:43
  Talk to me about how you managed during those two and a half years yourself.
• 13:47
  So I was like, I cannot drop out of college because then I'll be like really crazy.
• 13:54
  I took a step back.
• 13:57
  I took two classes.
• 13:59
  And I couldn't be in Brooklyn College anymore.
• 14:03
  I had to – I said to myself, you need to do something by yourself.
• 14:08
  You cannot be around people that you know.
• 14:10
  It was too much.
• 14:11
  Everyone used to say, how are you doing?
• 14:12
  How are you doing?
• 14:12
  I'm not doing.
• 14:13
  I'm not doing.
• 14:14
  I'm not okay.
• 14:14
  I'm not surviving.
• 14:15
  I'm not surviving.
• 14:18
  I got into FIT the second semester at night and I went at night because that's all I got into for.
• 14:25
  And I was my own person.
• 14:29
  It was just me, myself and I on the train at night, 7 to 10 every night.
• 14:33
  And I would go and I would just be me.
• 14:36
  And I kind of like distant myself from probably everyone.
• 14:40
  Well, because there was the life before.
• 14:43
  You were the civvy before.
• 14:44
  Right.
• 14:45
  And then the civvy after was not the same person.
• 14:48
  Correct.
• 14:49
  Did everybody in your family feel the same kind of way where they had to sort of reinvent themselves?
• 14:55
  Everyone did their own.
• 14:57
  My father probably sat in his bed for a few years.
• 15:02
  He...
• 15:03
  He took it, I mean, obviously losing a child is very different than losing a sibling.
• 15:10
  My mother became a little bit more religious.
• 15:14
  She went to God and she went to Hashem and she just, that's how she dealt with it.
• 15:20
  My brother, my brothers, my sister, just we all dealt with it very differently.
• 15:25
  Were you ever angry at God?
• 15:28
  I don't know if I was angry at God.
• 15:33
  I just was like, I don't know.
• 15:37
  It was just a crazy situation.
• 15:39
  I was never angry.
• 15:42
  I just said, why is this happening?
• 15:45
  Did it actually happen?
• 15:46
  I kept on telling myself.
• 15:47
  Right.
• 15:48
  There's this, that limbo period feels like,
• 15:53
  I can only imagine the torture that those years were where everyone's probably asking, how are you doing?
• 16:01
  What can we do for you?
• 16:03
  And one of the things that I've noticed when people are grieving in one capacity or the other is that...
• 16:09
  Grief looks different for everybody.
• 16:11
  Some people ignore the fact that there isn't even – there's a trauma.
• 16:15
  Some people can't get out of bed.
• 16:18
  Some people, I guess, change everything about them.
• 16:22
  But one of the things I find so difficult is how outsiders respond to those grieving.
• 16:31
  Was there anyone or anything that somebody did for you that sort of helped you go, wow, wow.
• 16:38
  That actually was helpful.
• 16:41
  I honestly was – I don't even know.
• 16:45
  I was really in my own planet for a while.
• 16:48
  I really distanced myself from everyone.
• 16:50
  I probably lost a lot of weight when people were talking and it was like –
• 16:56
  Like, what do you want from me?
• 16:57
  Like, what do you want me to do?
• 16:59
  People were talking.
• 16:59
  They're like, is she okay?
• 17:01
  Is she okay?
• 17:02
  I'm not okay.
• 17:03
  I'm not okay.
• 17:04
  I'm not okay.
• 17:05
  And I just need to like work through myself.
• 17:08
  The one thing that I did for myself is when Cantor started a relief fund, probably within the month that it happened, I...
• 17:20
  I went every day to the city and I sat in that relief fund.
• 17:24
  And I probably me and Howard Lutnick, the CEO, who lost his brother as well, and his sister, who was the main person that started the relief fund.
• 17:37
  It was me and her, the only people that lost siblings and everyone else.
• 17:40
  And I just sat there and I either mailed letters to families.
• 17:43
  I honestly don't know what I did, but that's what I did.
• 17:45
  I went to the city every single day probably for a few months.
• 17:49
  It just felt like what I should do at that time.
• 17:52
  I have to surround myself with my sister's company.
• 17:56
  Right.
• 17:57
  And it also makes sense because not only that, but those are the only people that understood what you were going through, this like sense of panic and unknown and –
• 18:07
  fear that how did this even happen?
• 18:12
  I wonder if there's anything you do now that is so
• 18:19
  ingrained in you because of that time period.
• 18:23
  I mean, yeah, 100%.
• 18:25
  I think that I just keep going.
• 18:27
  Like I don't let little silly things get to me.
• 18:31
  You just got to do it.
• 18:32
  You got to get up.
• 18:33
  You got to run.
• 18:34
  You got to do your things.
• 18:35
  You just got to do it.
• 18:37
  You have no choice.
• 18:38
  Like it is what it is.
• 18:40
  I mean that's a really good lesson.
• 18:42
  It's a hard lesson.
• 18:43
  It's hard at times but you got to just do it.
• 18:45
  Like life is so short.
• 18:48
  You got to live it.
• 18:49
  You got to take that vacation.
• 18:50
  You got to go out.
• 18:52
  You got to do things.
• 18:55
  One thing you don't know is that Savi and I are actually very good friends in real life.
• 19:02
  And I can say as your friend – and I'm going to cry – is that she really does live by this, that she makes it work.
• 19:13
  If she's going to go, she's going to make it the best activity you've ever been to.
• 19:18
  You want to dance?
• 19:19
  She's going to dance.
• 19:20
  If you want to like –
• 19:22
  Whatever you're doing, you put your whole heart and soul into.
• 19:25
  And I see that in every aspect of your life.
• 19:28
  And I can only imagine like how proud your sister is.
• 19:32
  A hundred percent.
• 19:33
  I appreciate that.
• 19:34
  It's so true.
• 19:35
  It's so true.
• 19:36
  It's not – I wouldn't just say that.
• 19:39
  I keep my mouth shut.
• 19:40
  There have been – there have definitely been interviews where I've been like, mm-hmm.
• 19:45
  But you really are –
• 19:48
  living the life that you're talking about.
• 19:51
  And I think that that is beyond everything else.
• 19:55
  I think that that is something people can really take away from this, that even though this tragedy could have derailed you, it was – your frontal lobe wasn't even formed.
• 20:07
  Right.
• 20:07
  A hundred percent.
• 20:08
  No, I know.
• 20:08
  I know.
• 20:09
  I know.
• 20:09
  I was a child.
• 20:10
  I was a child.
• 20:12
  You have an 18-year-old now.
• 20:13
  Yes.
• 20:13
  Yes.
• 20:14
  And if God forbid something like that happened in his world, he might not have been as strong as you.
• 20:22
  Right.
• 20:24
  And you not only rose to the occasion by taking initiative and going and doing and literally you'll hear about soon about the Nancy Memorial Fund, but you've done so much to honor her memory and you should know that those around you
• 20:46
  Appreciate everything you put out there.
• 20:49
  I appreciate that.
• 20:51
  Was the Jewish community there for you during this time?
• 20:54
  A hundred percent.
• 20:58
  We, they made sure we went to therapy.
• 21:03
  I mean, they were there.
• 21:05
  They were definitely there for us.
• 21:06
  I mean, I lived in Borough Park at the time.
• 21:09
  So it was a different dynamic.
• 21:11
  It wasn't the five towns.
• 21:13
  But yeah, they were.
• 21:18
  When people saw you and dealt with your family, did you think they treated you different after?
• 21:25
  100%.
• 21:27
  I mean, I used to look around and I used to see the faces of people and how they were to me.
• 21:34
  And I was just like, just be normal, like.
• 21:39
  It's hard.
• 21:40
  It's hard on the other end.
• 21:41
  I get it.
• 21:41
  I don't know how I would be the other way around, but it was very hard to deal with.
• 21:46
  I really – I disconnected myself from everyone.
• 21:49
  Were there traditions that became more meaningful to you after all this happened?
• 21:55
  traditions.
• 21:57
  What could be – listen, I know you're a huge runner.
• 22:00
  Yeah.
• 22:00
  Yeah.
• 22:01
  I mean one thing my father at – I don't know how old is he now?
• 22:05
  At 60 years old, learned how to ride a bike.
• 22:07
  Wow.
• 22:08
  I mean that was huge.
• 22:09
  He – her racing friends, he –
• 22:12
  had the guy or whoever taught him to ride a bike.
• 22:16
  And at six years old, to ride a bike, I mean, he's a runner.
• 22:20
  My father is a runner.
• 22:20
  We all have my sister in our genes, my brother, my sisters.
• 22:24
  We have some part of her in all of us.
• 22:27
  A go-getter, getting up early, you know, getting it done,
• 22:33
  So you talk about this idea that like you have a piece of her in you.
• 22:38
  Do you think losing Nancy shaped the woman you've become now?
• 22:43
  A hundred percent.
• 22:46
  I don't know.
• 22:46
  I don't know if I would have been who I am today if this wasn't the case.
• 22:51
  It's sad to say but I – Did it change how you love people in your life?
• 23:01
  I definitely cherish –
• 23:05
  I definitely cherish my friends.
• 23:08
  Like when I have a good friend, I cherish them and they know.
• 23:12
  Yeah.
• 23:12
  Like everyone knows who my friends are.
• 23:15
  That's true.
• 23:17
  I don't have millions of friends.
• 23:19
  I have different friends for different things, you know, that compliment me.
• 23:22
  But you're, you're, yeah.
• 23:24
  Yeah.
• 23:26
  I think that people see that and they see you.
• 23:31
  And it's funny because you put yourself out there online now when you sell your jewelry and no one who doesn't know would ever think that you've gone through something so challenging and painful because your spirit is just one that's like, I'm happy.
• 23:52
  I'm here.
• 23:53
  I'm doing it.
• 23:54
  I'm there.
• 23:54
  And like –
• 23:56
  There's something so inspiring about it and you radiate joy.
• 24:02
  Was that something you had to train yourself to do?
• 24:06
  No, I think I just – it just became a part of me.
• 24:08
  Again, I was so young and I just – at 18, you're just trying to figure out who you are, what you are.
• 24:16
  And I feel like it really – it just – it did, yeah.
• 24:20
  How do you share Nancy's memory with your kids?
• 24:23
  Yeah.
• 24:25
  So we try to go every year to 9-11, 9-11 either the night before.
• 24:32
  My brother really organizes the run.
• 24:36
  We run from Prospect Park to 9-11 either the night before or the day of.
• 24:42
  And we just – my parents meet us at 9-11 and it's like a lot of the running community and people really show up.
• 24:49
  It's like 50, 60 people, 70 people.
• 24:53
  Just running for Nancy.
• 24:54
  They have millions of other things to do at 7 p.m. on a night.
• 24:57
  And they go and they run.
• 24:59
  We once ran in the rain and we did it.
• 25:02
  And the day of 9-11, my brother does a bike ride all the way to Point Lookout.
• 25:07
  And my parents meet them at like 6 a.m. Wow.
• 25:10
  And it's just – it's a really nice thing and we really try to remember her because like if you don't do it, it's like –
• 25:17
  You got to.
• 25:18
  You got to do it.
• 25:19
  Right.
• 25:19
  And if you don't, it feels like nobody else will.
• 25:22
  Correct.
• 25:25
  How do you celebrate her birthdays and milestones?
• 25:29
  My mother, like, put together a whole Tehillim group and we just, you know, everyone says their own Tehillim.
• 25:36
  And we just, you know, everyone acknowledges it on the family chats, you know, just saying something really nice about her that day and...
• 25:47
  Do you ever feel guilty for moving on and feeling like you created a life that Nancy could have probably almost only dreamed of?
• 25:57
  So I never feel guilty because she's literally a part of me every day.
• 26:02
  Yeah.
• 26:03
  My daughter, Hannah, is Hannah, is her Hebrew name.
• 26:06
  And she's the best.
• 26:07
  And she's the best.
• 26:08
  And she's full of life and energy.
• 26:10
  And she's lots of friends.
• 26:11
  And she's a good friend.
• 26:13
  And I, I, she's a part of my life.
• 26:16
  My kids know, you know, even though none of them met them, it's just a part of us.
• 26:22
  Is there any quality in Hannah that you see that reminds you of Nancy?
• 26:28
  She's, she's happy.
• 26:30
  She smiles.
• 26:32
  Hannah just smiles.
• 26:33
  And, and my sister Nancy, she was just full of life.
• 26:38
  Like Hannah gives me sometimes inspiration when I'm just like down, like,
• 26:43
  Honestly, she really is the life of the party.
• 26:44
  She is the life of the party.
• 26:45
  She's the most fun.
• 26:46
  Yeah.
• 26:47
  She really, really is.
• 26:47
  She's the most fun.
• 26:48
  Yeah.
• 26:49
  She just is.
• 26:50
  And I never got to meet Nancy, but I definitely know Hannah.
• 26:54
  And like the way you're describing Nancy, it feels like – Thank God I had a girl.
• 26:59
  I thank God.
• 27:02
  And then you did it again with baby Chloe.
• 27:03
  And I did it again.
• 27:08
  How did you eventually allow yourself to experience happiness again?
• 27:13
  I just said that Nancy would want me to be happy.
• 27:17
  As long as she's in my pocket all the time, I just – I said I have to keep going because that's what she wants and that's what life's all about.
• 27:27
  You got to keep going.
• 27:29
  It's true.
• 27:30
  It's so true.
• 27:32
  And I really think that every time you share her story and every time people hear about Nancy, you're honoring her.
• 27:41
  100%.
• 27:43
  And I think that that is so important and so beautiful to me.
• 27:46
  And you do it so eloquently.
• 27:48
  I'm like, I'm surprised you're not on stages everywhere telling the story.
• 27:52
  I actually did speak like the fifth memorial.
• 27:55
  I try to push myself to do things out of my comfort zone just because I think it's important.
• 28:04
  But yeah.
• 28:06
  Talk to me a little bit behind the idea of Topaz and Ruby.
• 28:13
  Um, I, I met Tamara, my best friend in college and FIT this summer that I started.
• 28:22
  And I was like, wow, I'm like, this girl is really cool.
• 28:25
  I'm like, I'm like, we're going to be friends in my head.
• 28:29
  We went out for dinner to like one of these restaurants in the city.
• 28:32
  And I'm like, we have no memories.
• 28:34
  I'm like, I hope one day we have memories.
• 28:37
  Um, and we just instantaneously became friends and, um,
• 28:42
  She was accessory design.
• 28:43
  I was merchandising and we work simultaneously in many different things in fashion.
• 28:48
  And it just, it was great.
• 28:50
  Like I was so thankful to actually find a friend after like, you know, my whole traumatic experience and just like, let it be.
• 29:00
  Right.
• 29:00
  She didn't know the before, Savi.
• 29:02
  So you were able to build a relationship that was authentic to the person you were at that time.
• 29:09
  And if you know Tamara, you know like she is also – she matches your energy big time and I think it's such a beautiful thing.
• 29:16
  And you put so much passion into your work.
• 29:19
  Do you think building a business now –
• 29:23
  Is something that has always been part of your story or is this something that's new and exciting and different?
• 29:33
  I feel like we – I couldn't just be a mother and a wife.
• 29:40
  I had to do something else.
• 29:41
  I had to just do something out of like different.
• 29:47
  I couldn't just sit home and be a mommy.
• 29:49
  That's not me.
• 29:51
  Though I love my kids and I love my husband, but I just feel like I needed to do something else that makes me who I am.
• 30:00
  Does that make sense?
• 30:01
  It absolutely makes sense.
• 30:02
  Not only does it make sense but also like you're not only defined by the roles that you play.
• 30:08
  You're multifaceted and you have so much to give and it's such a beautiful thing.
• 30:16
  And think about the way you're channeling Nancy.
• 30:18
  Like she wasn't just a travel agent and she wasn't just a biker and just a runner and just a friend and just a sister.
• 30:25
  Like she had all of those things and so do you.
• 30:29
  And you're doing all of the things that you said you wanted to do.
• 30:32
  100%.
• 30:34
  And that's a huge thing.
• 30:36
  Does this experience make you realize how short life is?
• 30:40
  100%.
• 30:41
  I mean, you got to go on that trip.
• 30:44
  You got to do whatever you want to do because life is too short.
• 30:49
  Does it make you want to take more risks?
• 30:52
  I mean, yeah, I'm not going to sit home and just twiddle my thumbs.
• 30:56
  We got to do it.
• 30:57
  You got to be active.
• 30:57
  You got to get it done.
• 31:01
  I think that whenever somebody goes through some sort of tragedy or trauma or loss, that it makes people reevaluate their life always.
• 31:10
  That's the first thing people say is like, it makes me reevaluate my priorities.
• 31:17
  What do you think your priorities are then versus now?
• 31:22
  I can't really see what my priorities were then because I was a child.
• 31:28
  Now I'm not sure.
• 31:32
  Not sure what your priorities are?
• 31:34
  My priorities are I gotta live a good life with my family and my family.
• 31:50
  I think that there's a lot there.
• 31:52
  You're here 25 years later.
• 31:55
  Really 25 years later.
• 31:57
  It's crazy.
• 31:58
  It's a very long time.
• 32:00
  Very long time.
• 32:00
  Like that is a – that's really a lifetime.
• 32:08
  Not only have you survived, you thrived, which is a bracha that people should never take for granted because you could have fallen apart.
• 32:18
  It could have destroyed you.
• 32:19
  It didn't destroy you.
• 32:21
  It made you stronger.
• 32:23
  Not that I would wish that on anybody ever.
• 32:26
  But if Nancy could walk through the door right now, what would you tell her?
• 32:34
  That her legacy –
• 32:38
  lives on.
• 32:39
  And I'm so happy that she is my sister and she'll always be my sister.
• 32:48
  And we're a family of five and we always will be.
• 32:52
  And she really touched so many people.
• 32:56
  so many people that I met.
• 32:58
  I mean, I've flown to Colorado to meet her Aspen cool friends.
• 33:02
  I mean, I've became friends with her friends and I didn't think I would.
• 33:07
  I was 18 years old.
• 33:08
  I was hanging out with 32-year-olds.
• 33:10
  I took her friend with me to LA to see the Friends show when Cantor took us.
• 33:16
  I mean, I was just hanging out with her friends and I never thought that that would happen.
• 33:20
  And it's wild.
• 33:21
  It's crazy.
• 33:23
  It's...
• 33:24
  she was probably guiding you through all of that.
• 33:28
  It's nothing is happenstance, really.
• 33:32
  What do you think she would be proud of?
• 33:37
  I guess the woman I've become.
• 33:40
  And I think I would not be here if it wasn't for her.
• 33:46
  I really think that she was probably talking me through everything.
• 33:52
  Go to Colorado.
• 33:53
  Go skiing.
• 33:54
  Go on that trip.
• 33:55
  What are you waiting for?
• 33:56
  Why are you thinking not to?
• 33:58
  Just do it.
• 33:59
  Get it done.
• 33:59
  You'll figure out a way.
• 34:00
  Figure out a way.
• 34:01
  If it's money, if it's this, if it's that, just get it done.
• 34:05
  Are you afraid people will forget?
• 34:07
  A hundred percent.
• 34:09
  That is why I have to do certain things in my life because if I don't, then people will forget.
• 34:16
  It's just another name.
• 34:17
  It's just another tragedy in the world.
• 34:21
  9-11.
• 34:21
  I mean, it's just – I can't let people forget.
• 34:26
  It's wild because, you know, you and I were relatively young.
• 34:40
  in our lifetime.
• 34:41
  There's been 9-11 and October 7th and COVID.
• 34:45
  And you talk about these things and it seems so far removed, but it isn't.
• 34:52
  It's your neighbor.
• 34:53
  It's your friend.
• 34:54
  It's your sibling.
• 34:55
  And I think that making sure to remember that these were real people behind these stories.
• 35:03
  These were
• 35:05
  important people in everyone's life.
• 35:08
  And whether it's 25 years later or 50 years later or whatever, we need to remember that these people are important and their legacy matters.
• 35:22
  What do you want the next generation to know about Nancy?
• 35:28
  That she is a,
• 35:35
  I don't know.
• 35:38
  You don't have to know.
• 35:42
  You don't have to know, Sivvy.
• 35:44
  I don't know the answer.
• 35:46
  I don't know.
• 35:50
  You just want them to know her name?
• 35:52
  Her name.
• 35:52
  That she was a person.
• 35:56
  It's not easy.
• 35:59
  She had her whole life ahead of her at 32 years old.
• 36:02
  That's your, you're also still a baby.
• 36:03
  Oh my God.
• 36:05
  32.
• 36:05
  She wasn't married.
• 36:06
  She could have been married.
• 36:07
  She could have had kids.
• 36:08
  She didn't do anything.
• 36:10
  She just started a job.
• 36:11
  She just started her life and boom, you wake up one morning and you're done.
• 36:16
  It's like crazy.
• 36:18
  It's wild.
• 36:24
  It's not easy.
• 36:25
  And it's also not,
• 36:28
  It's not something you think about like when you wake up in the morning and we say mo'da'ani, we say thank you for waking me up.
• 36:36
  But like what happens past that point?
• 36:38
  Thank you for keeping me alive.
• 36:40
  Thank you for keeping me healthy and smart and my family safe.
• 36:44
  Like we – you take for granted a lot of these things.
• 36:50
  I know I do.
• 36:51
  I definitely take for granted a lot of these things because –
• 36:56
  If it doesn't slap you in the face sometimes, like you just go through the motions.
• 37:01
  You know, on Rosh Hashanah, you say, and all those things.
• 37:07
  Every time I look at that, I'm like, it could be me.
• 37:14
  I'm saying you just, you don't ever know.
• 37:16
  You never know.
• 37:19
  You never.
• 37:19
  Who's going to die?
• 37:20
  And then you hear somebody die the next day.
• 37:25
  Okay, we're going to end with a finish the sentence.
• 37:29
  Nancy always was what?
• 37:39
  Nancy was always an amazing...
• 37:44
  An amazing person.
• 37:46
  She lived life to the fullest and she touched everyone around her.
• 37:53
  Nancy never?
• 37:55
  She never said no.
• 37:58
  She taught me?
• 37:59
  She taught me, and it's gonna be repetitive, she taught me to live life to the fullest and don't let anyone say no.
• 38:12
  She made everyone feel happy around her.
• 38:20
  The thing I miss most?
• 38:26
  My sister.
• 38:30
  One thing from your life you think your sister would be laughing at?
• 38:37
  Um...
• 38:44
  I don't know.
• 38:47
  Something I should think about.
• 38:51
  One thing I still wish I could ask her.
• 39:00
  What happened that day?
• 39:03
  It's something that goes on and on in my head.
• 39:05
  Like, what happened?
• 39:08
  What were you going through?
• 39:11
  Do you think that that would really make you feel better
• 39:15
  Probably not, but it's something that like it always is in my head.
• 39:18
  Like what happened that day?
• 39:21
  What time were you?
• 39:23
  Did you get to work?
• 39:25
  Did you actually get to work?
• 39:27
  Did you see the plane?
• 39:28
  Did you like I needed I didn't know how the day played out.
• 39:32
  Like it's something for us very unknown.
• 39:34
  And it's just something that I always wanted to know.
• 39:38
  It almost feels like if you could fill in the blanks, then maybe you can like help her.
• 39:44
  Right.
• 39:47
  But there's never really those answers maybe at 120.
• 39:51
  I know.
• 39:53
  But sometimes we want those things.
• 40:00
  But it doesn't mean just because you don't have those answers that you're not doing everything you can for her, that you didn't do everything you could for her.
• 40:10
  Like everything you do in your life, Savi, is really a testament to what you've been through and honoring your sister's legacy, which is –
• 40:23
  I can say as your friend is a beautiful thing to watch.
• 40:27
  And I know that everyone around you feels the same way, like really feels the same way.
• 40:34
  I think one of the most beautiful things we've done today is remind people that Nancy wasn't just someone who died on September 11th.
• 40:41
  She was a daughter, a sister, a friend, a woman with dreams, a career she was excited about, a future she never got to live.
• 40:51
  And I'm really grateful that I met you and that you introduced me to Nancy today.
• 40:55
  Thank you.
• 40:56
  I really appreciate it.
• 40:58
  Thank you.
• 40:59
  May her memory have an Aaliyah and let you always honor her memory.
• 41:05
  In the last little bit, can you talk to me a little bit about the Nancy Memorial Fund, if anybody would like to donate, or if there's any way to honor her memory?
• 41:15
  So we have the Nancy Morgenstern Memorial Fund.
• 41:20
  It's nancymorgensternmemorial.org.
• 41:26
  And we, I mean, we try to have her legacy live on.
• 41:31
  We...
• 41:32
  donated a ambulance, uh, safer Torah, um, in Israel where she's buried right near my other sister.
• 41:41
  Um, you can, we also support a Kolel for people to learn.
• 41:46
  Um, and we also like help a lot of soldiers in Israel, their families, um,
• 41:58
  So there's a lot of things on the website that you can donate.
• 42:04
  And this is her legacy.
• 42:06
  And her legacy has to live on.
• 42:10
  One of the things that I'm excited about –
• 42:13
  that you're specifically doing is you see that beautiful necklace, that topaz and Ruby makes, and you can get it on topazandruby.com.
• 42:23
  Yeah.
• 42:25
  They are going to donate some of the proceeds from the website to also the Nancy fund.
• 42:34
  And I think that that is so beautiful.
• 42:36
  And especially the high necklace, like remembering her life,
• 42:40
  and honoring her.
• 42:42
  And I'm just so touched and grateful to you.
• 42:44
  Thank you for being here.
• 42:46
  Thank you for having me.
• 42:49
  Love you.
• 42:50
  Thank you.