Latest / The Black Sheep Leadership Podcast / They’re Not Just Wasting Time… They’re Wasting YOUR Life!!
Transcript
- 0:30What's going on everybody?
- 0:32I want to welcome you all to the Black Sheep Leadership Podcast.
- 0:35I'm your host, Athena Renee, and this is where the underdogs, the misfits, and the black sheep come to tap in to turn their pain into power and build a life by design so that they can leave a legacy behind.
- 0:46If this is your first time tapping in, welcome family.
- 0:50And if you're back again, get in here, get in here, because you already know what time it is.
- 0:54Let's do this quick vibe check, though.
- 0:56Because if you're easily offended, sensitive, entitled, waiting on somebody to come save you, or allergic to accountability, this ain't your safe space.
- 1:04So get up out of here, okay?
- 1:06But if you're ready to think different, move different and lead from another level.
- 1:11Stay locked in.
- 1:13Because by the end of this episode, you're walking away with something that you can execute immediately.
- 1:19All right.
- 1:19Now let's get to work.
- 1:20Today, we're talking about they're not just wasting your time, they're wasting your life.
- 1:28One of the biggest forms of disrespect is wasting somebody's time.
- 1:33Because time is life.
- 1:35You can make the money back, opportunities will come back around.
- 1:39But time, oh man, once it's gone, it's gone.
- 1:45And I mean it's gone forever.
- 1:48And the one thing that I've learned as black sheep, let me tell you this one key.
- 1:52You must never ever forget, specifically, is you if you resonate with being a black sheep or the underdog.
- 2:01And that is people will waste your time because it's not their time.
- 2:06Let me say it again.
- 2:08People will waste your time because it's not theirs.
- 2:12That's why you have to become a savage.
- 2:15I'm talking about extremely protective over your focus, your energy, and your schedule.
- 2:22Because distracted people, they love distracting other people.
- 2:26Let's talk about some of the characters of the time wasters.
- 2:30When somebody constantly shows up late, drags things out, talk in circles, wastes productive hours, interrupts your momentum, they are indirectly communicating something.
- 2:42You really need to understand this, guys.
- 2:44When people, because people show you how they respect you with certain actions.
- 2:50We can argue and go back and forth about many things, but you and I both know time is the only thing you don't get back.
- 2:58You know, in some circles, I'm known as I'm gonna arrive 20, 30 minutes early and I'm gonna get an attitude if people late.
- 3:04And you know, as time has gone on, I definitely give people grace.
- 3:08You know, I give folks five, 10 minute grace, period.
- 3:11But my whole thing is why would you set an appointment?
- 3:14Why would you set a date up?
- 3:16Whatever we're meeting, why would you set a meeting up and you're late?
- 3:19It's just something that aggravates me a lot.
- 3:21But this is what I want you to understand what people are indirectly communicating with you.
- 3:26When they waste your time and waste productive hours showing up late and dragging things out, they are saying, I do not value your time, your goals, or your future enough to respect it.
- 3:40Now, listen, I understand if you got a one-off scenario.
- 3:43I'm not talking about just you know, not hearing people out.
- 3:46We're talking about the people that have a pattern, consistency behavior that they always coming up late for whatever reason.
- 3:56And what I what I need you to understand is they're simply telling you they don't value your time, they don't value you.
- 4:03That's why they pull up when they want to.
- 4:13Let's be clear.
- 4:14Like I said, everybody can be late sometimes.
- 4:17Things happen, life happens, but constant, consistent wasting time, that's character.
- 4:25Now, let's talk about this hidden link between people that waste your time and envy.
- 4:31See, this is a part that a lot of people miss.
- 4:34As a black sheep, you know, I have all of the majority of my friends are people that are not black sheep, they're like that in crowd.
- 4:42And I am a people person, and I can pretty much adapt to any environment without losing myself.
- 4:48So, with that being said, because I was a black sheep, I wasn't I was cool with my people, but I wasn't pressed to go around the room and dap up everybody.
- 4:55I pretty much sat back and observed people.
- 4:58And one thing that I've always observed about people is a lot of people that waste your time.
- 5:05Check this out now.
- 5:07A lot of people that waste your time are operating from envy and insecurity.
- 5:12What do I mean by that?
- 5:14Like, how do they even go together?
- 5:15I'm gonna give you some great examples.
- 5:18See, what you must understand is when you focus, they see you, they see you focus, they see you building, they see you improving, they see you disciplined and you making moves, it's in their face.
- 5:31But the thing about it is, your discipline becomes a mirror, and people instantly, not tomorrow, not later on today, they instantly become aware of how much time they waste and how much playing they're doing.
- 5:45And so let me give you an example.
- 5:47Let's say, for instance, if you got a friend that that you reach out to and you say, Hey, man, I've finally gotten this job, but I need to relocate to the other side of town.
- 5:57Can you and my homegirl, you and my cousin or bro or sis, can you come by on Saturday if you got time and help me move and pack up this U-Haul?
- 6:06I'm gonna pay you.
- 6:08I got you, because I know you got things to do, but I really need your help.
- 6:12How does 2 p.m.
- 6:13sound?
- 6:14Right?
- 6:14They like, oh for sure, I got you.
- 6:16I got you.
- 6:17Right?
- 6:18Then you told them, listen, I'm just letting you know we're gonna do this for sure.
- 6:21Okay.
- 6:23So when Saturday comes, two things.
- 6:26Number one, they say to you, hey, I thought you was gonna call and let me know.
- 6:34Let me let me tell you something really quickly here, guys.
- 6:36If somebody calls you up and say and give you specifics that first time around, especially depending on what the scenario is, it's a goal.
- 6:46Now I understand sometimes people will follow up and say, hey, I just want to let you know we're still a goal for this weekend.
- 6:53But let me ask you this when your job tells gives you your schedule, do they have to send you a text message and say, Hey, I just want to confirm that you're still the shift is still the same on Friday?
- 7:04No, no, they don't, they do not do that, and when people do and when companies do, it is a courtesy.
- 7:14But one thing you must understand when people specifically just take their slow ass time, you tell them two o'clock, and you know it's a time-sensitive thing, you've told them the whole layout and they show up at 3, 3:30.
- 7:27That's a form of disrespect.
- 7:29Let's just say, for instance, if you say, listen, y'all, we're having this event at the hall, and it's important that you, as my family and my my immediate friends, I need y'all to be on time.
- 7:40I need you to show up and be there no later than 3:30.
- 7:44But y'all still show up at 4:30, a whole hour late.
- 7:50And I know a lot of people love to talk about CP time and all these different little weird things that they be on.
- 7:55But guess what?
- 7:56If you showing up to work when you clock in and you showing up on time, you can show up on time for somebody else.
- 8:03But what I'm telling you is a lot of times it's envy and there.
- 8:08You leveling up, like I said, when you moving, you leveling up that create that awareness that you leaving and you leveling up, you relocating, it is so many different things in that that's indicating their mind or making them think back on their life, well, dang, I ain't doing nothing.
- 8:23Or I said I was gonna change jobs six times, and I haven't did nothing, but now you're actually putting your money where your mouth is.
- 8:30And guess what?
- 8:31That awareness, it creates discomfort.
- 8:34And instead of becoming accountable, and when I'm talking about accountable here, I'm talking about when you when you entail when you tell someone, you let them know, hey, I need your help, I'm gonna pay you.
- 8:45I know you it's your time, and you got things going on.
- 8:47This is the time.
- 8:48Can you help me at that time?
- 8:50And they say yes, and they arrive on a scene an hour and a half late, and you say, Hey, what happened?
- 8:56I thought, A, B, and C, remember I told you 2 p.m.
- 8:59I said I was gonna pay you.
- 9:01Because when people say they're gonna pay you, that's also an indicator that they respect your time.
- 9:07Even if they say, Hey, I'm gonna pay you, I don't have it today, I'll pay you next week.
- 9:11They're still indicating I respect your time, I respect your energy, I respect you, period.
- 9:18Everything ain't about getting paid, but there are certain things that people will say to you and do, they will let you know that they appreciate you and they appreciate your time.
- 9:26Another example is if you've ever been in my situation where a couple times I didn't have a way to work and I had to depend on somebody to pick me up or drop me off.
- 9:35Guess what?
- 9:36On that exact day, I gave them gas money.
- 9:38Why?
- 9:39Because I need them to understand that I respect their time and I value them for what they're doing for me.
- 9:46But guess what?
- 9:48When you get these people after you've done all of that, telling them I'm gonna pay you and all of this, and they show up late and you ask them, hey, what happened, man?
- 9:54What's going on?
- 9:55We were supposed to be in packed up, and they instantly catch your attitude.
- 9:58Now, all of a sudden, because you asking them about what happened when I told you this certain time, now they want to argue about it, they want to talk trash, they want to interrupt you, right?
- 10:09You know why?
- 10:10Because they are envious of your progress.
- 10:13That's why they show up late.
- 10:15They're showing you they don't care, especially if you have observed people when they operate with other folks and they know how to show up on time.
- 10:22Or, like I said, if you know how to look and you say, wait a minute, this dude or this girl been working at this company and she always on time for work.
- 10:29That right there lets you know it's not across the board, it's not across the board.
- 10:34But even if it was, it's still a respect for time, and more so if you're late for yourself, you gotta understand that we'll be late for you because people that's always late and taking forever to move around and do what they need to do, they don't respect the clock in their own life.
- 10:50They think everything revolves around them.
- 10:53Another sign is selfishness.
- 10:55See, when people just let the clock go by and oh, Johnny come lately, jelly back, you know, I don't have nothing else going on, and I move on my time and on my dime whenever I feel like it.
- 11:05You must understand these are people that are also moving and being selfish.
- 11:09Now, uh, granted, some things it takes time, some things there is a process, but we're talking about time-stamped things that require a certain level of urgency or a certain level of being prompt and being on time.
- 11:22That's what we're specifically talking about today.
- 11:24And I'm talking about from the perspective of people that stand in on their business and really want to make progress, improvements, and momentum in their life.
- 11:32They're not playing with the clock.
- 11:34They absolutely get it when the old schools used to tell us when we were still in high school, hey, enjoy your life as a child.
- 11:40Because once you become 18, a lot of them used to say once that clock passes 18, in some areas, once that clock passes 21, it's all over, and time flies, and before you look up, you'll be 30, 40, 50, and 60.
- 11:54And you can look at people's life and tell if they've did nothing but waste time.
- 11:59Waste time, and it's unfortunate because, like I said, a lot of times your movement reminds them of their stagnation, and it brings up envy and jealousy.
- 12:11Let's go a little bit deeper because sometimes this does not only happen with strangers, sometimes it's your family, friends, co-workers, and people that's close to you.
- 12:23I'm talking about have you ever had a spouse or a partner?
- 12:26And you telling them, listen, every week we're gonna meet up and make sure we're getting things in order.
- 12:34Guess what?
- 12:35Every single week they come dragging in late.
- 12:38Or you might say, Listen, family, let's have a family meeting once a month at 4 p.m.
- 12:45after church dinner, and every single time the same people are late.
- 12:51You ask for help, you explain the importance of it, you communicate clearly.
- 12:56It's nothing that you're doing, and they still show up late, they still drag their feet and move carelessly.
- 13:04At some point, you have to stop calling it accidental.
- 13:09You have to stop saying, Oh, that's just who they are, because repeated behavior is communication.
- 13:16Remember that com repeated behavior is communication, and they're and it's likely telling you they don't find you valuable enough, or they are in some way, shape, or form envious and jealous of your momentum and the moves you're making.
- 13:34Let's talk about the cost of constant distraction.
- 13:37See, here's the scary part most people do not fail because they lack talent, they fail through an accumulation of wasted time.
- 13:47See, one wasted hour every day becomes weeks, months, and years of lost momentum.
- 13:53And see, people don't a lot of times when I talk to some of my folks, even my students, my friends, and family, a lot of times they get on the edge because they're like, okay, here comes little Ricky, and that's what my dad's nickname is.
- 14:05They say, Here comes little Ricky, you know how Ricky is, because number one, my dad is has a military background.
- 14:10Number two, I can give my dad his props on a lot of things, and being on time was one of them.
- 14:15My dad's gonna be on time unless he owns just his own journey come lately time.
- 14:20But when it's about showing up for other people andor appointments, oh, one thing about it, my dad is going to be on time, and so a lot of people used to get aggravated with me because I'm like, hey, let's go ahead and get started on time or even a little bit early because things happen, and so if we go ahead and start on time or early, we still got room for something to happen on the back end.
- 14:43But if we already start late and then something happened on the back end, you now have people that's upset.
- 14:49You officially now have people that have an attitude, and black sheep especially have to understand this because when you're called to something bigger, you're living a life on purpose, you're discovering your destiny, your time becomes even more valuable.
- 15:04That's why protecting your attention is survival.
- 15:08Not only survival, it's thriving one-on-one.
- 15:11You must protect your attention.
- 15:13I always talk about this, even online.
- 15:15If you think about it, you got so much stuff coming at you on YouTube, social media, you got stuff on your phone popping up all day long.
- 15:21You know what those are?
- 15:22They are different mediums pulling and begging to distract you, pulling and begging for your attention, and that's why protecting your attention is thrival one-on-one, thriving one-on-one.
- 15:36The programming trap.
- 15:37See, as modern society, I told you guys it's built on distraction, social media, endless scrolling.
- 15:41They call it doom scrolling now, pointless drama.
- 15:44Have you ever had somebody that brought you into some drama for no reason?
- 15:47There is not even one reason that you you you spend you spend at least 15-20 minutes racking your brain trying to figure out how in the hell did you get involved with something that's pointless, right?
- 15:59Mindless entertainment.
- 16:00I mean, just twerk videos out the ass.
- 16:04Twerk here, twerk there, um, roasting videos, fighting videos, you know, all just all type of stupid stuff online.
- 16:12It's all mindless entertainment.
- 16:15Everybody has an attention, everybody has an opinion.
- 16:19Everybody does, but guess what?
- 16:21It does not deserve your attention because your attention is currency now.
- 16:28See, this is why I never understood people that get upset with players on different sports teams about how they're playing.
- 16:34Baby, you you are a watcher, they in the game, they run in the play.
- 16:41You sit back spectating, they got your attention, they have your focus.
- 16:47You highly invested.
- 16:48But guess what?
- 16:49They the only one getting paid the millions.
- 16:51They are the ones that paid the contract, and you know why?
- 16:54Because they had the focus, they shut everything out and they had the focus.
- 16:58But now here you are sitting on the couch eating hot wings, screaming at the TV, talking about I can't believe he made that play.
- 17:05How stupid is he?
- 17:06Well, guess what?
- 17:07How smart can you be if you're sitting there giving them all of your time every single day, every night, every Tuesday, every Thursday, and you getting upset because of how they're running their own play, and you just sitting there observing it.
- 17:21See, your attention is currency.
- 17:24Think about Super Bowl for a 30-second commercial, people play millions.
- 17:28Do you know why?
- 17:30Because your attention for your eyeballs to be on that screen, because they know Super Bowl is one of those things where people are going to be sitting around watching TV looking at commercials, and that is a time where your attention is currency.
- 17:43Hey, it's millions of dollars for 30 seconds of an ad.
- 17:47So that right there lets you know that if they can control your first focus, they can control your future, and that's why discipline is becoming rare.
- 17:58See, most people cannot sit still long enough to build anything meaningful, they gotta hop around.
- 18:03Oh, oh man, I just lost my focus, I can't do this, I don't know, I don't know how to do it.
- 18:07If you quiet your mind and shut out all the distractions, because a lot of different things that's going on, a lot of people are like, oh, I gotta have my phone, I gotta have my phone.
- 18:16And don't get me wrong, I understand because we are so used to having our devices.
- 18:21But when you are at home, I'm telling you, focus time is some of the best time that you can have.
- 18:29Why?
- 18:29Because the human intelligence, human brain is the most creative on planet earth.
- 18:35We are the ones that created AI.
- 18:37But guess what?
- 18:38Those types of ideas, they only they are only incubated during moments of focus.
- 18:48Protect your future because at some point you have to decide do I need or do I want temporary entertainment or long-term fulfillment?
- 18:58Because successful people think differently about time, they understand that every hour is an investment, and every distraction carries a hidden cost.
- 19:09Every single one.
- 19:11I remember it wasn't even it wasn't even long ago.
- 19:14And listen, I'm still you have to continue to monitor your time.
- 19:18But about three to four days ago, I was working on some projects and everything, and I truly realized that I had took over a whole hour.
- 19:30Listen to me, I took an hour, probably an hour and a half, setting up a playlist to do my work.
- 19:38And while I'm setting up the playlist, I continue to see shorts that were interesting and funny at that time.
- 19:45So my playlist was only about seven to ten things or videos that I wanted to listen to while I was working, but it literally took me an hour and a half, probably closer to two hours, to make the playlist.
- 19:57Why?
- 19:58Because I was distracted, and you had and what I had to end up doing is I had to work two hours longer than what I scheduled.
- 20:06Because the thing about me is to make sure I'm held accountable for any type of wasting of time.
- 20:10Guess what?
- 20:11If I say I'm gonna do an assignment up until let's say 7 p.m., if 7 p.m.
- 20:15comes and I don't even I haven't even started, I just started 15 minutes prior.
- 20:18Guess what?
- 20:19Now I gotta go to eight.
- 20:22Right?
- 20:22And so you have to understand, you have to decide, do you want temporary entertainment?
- 20:27And that's from people, places, or things because some people they come just to entertain you temporarily, they just come and distract you.
- 20:33I I got a neighbor like that.
- 20:35I am literally, I have literally gotten my green light to go ahead and relocate because I have a neighbor that loves to distract people and bring people in endless drama, and I mean it's very manipulative because have you had someone that'll call you up like it's something really urgent?
- 20:53And when you get on the scene, because of the way they were calling you, you're thinking it's urgent, but when you get on the scene, you realize that it's not urgent at all.
- 21:07It's not urgent, it's nothing really.
- 21:12And this is what, like I said, people, even folks of the opposite sex, a lot of times, you know, we might be dating these people, we care about these people, you know, we're hopeful for them.
- 21:24You know, a lot of times we see potential in folks, but guess what?
- 21:27Check out how they handle you and your time, especially because as a black sheep, I already know you're a go-getter, I already know you're standing on business.
- 21:34We don't have to be perfect in every area of our life.
- 21:36There are no perfect people, but I can guarantee you, as a black sheep, if you resonate with this podcast, I know you're standing on business.
- 21:43Observe how people handle you with your time.
- 21:46I got folks, listen to me, y'all.
- 21:48I have people that I'll get on the phone with them, and the conversations are great.
- 21:52But you look up and a whole hour has gone by.
- 21:55Now, here's the thing I'ma hold myself accountable to that, but the problem comes when I Say, hey, let me go ahead and get off this phone.
- 22:02I've been on the phone long enough.
- 22:03I gotta go.
- 22:04And they don't act like they don't hear you.
- 22:08They don't sit there and act like they don't know what's going on.
- 22:11So now you look up 10-15 minutes, then pass.
- 22:15Guess what, guys?
- 22:16They want to waste your time because they don't value what you're working on.
- 22:20And this is why I said you gotta become almost savage about your time.
- 22:25People gonna say you mean, but trust and believe if you stay consistent on it, they're gonna get with the program.
- 22:31Because as I said, every distraction carries a hidden cost.
- 22:34Now let's get into these three black sheep action moves.
- 22:37Number one, audit who wastes your time consistently.
- 22:39Just be honest about it, just audit.
- 22:41Just whoever your circle is, your top people is, whether it's at your job, at home, at work, whatever it is, audit who wastes your time consistently.
- 22:49Be honest about it.
- 22:51Who constantly interrupts your focus or delays your progress.
- 22:56This is why a lot of times you need to start scheduling focused hours.
- 23:01Some circles call it deep work.
- 23:03And you know, different people have different schools of thoughts.
- 23:07Some people say it's going to be on the high end of the day, you know, when you're doing deep work.
- 23:12However, it doesn't matter because you might be a night owl.
- 23:17But deep work is about having a period of time where you are not distracted.
- 23:25I'm reading a book right now called The Four Keys to Execution.
- 23:30I told you guys this complete year is all about execution.
- 23:33This was the year, or this is the year of the fire horse according to Chinese astrology.
- 23:38This is the universal year of number one, which is new cycles, new beginnings, momentum, reinvention, all about action, change, and making moves.
- 23:47And I'm looking at those things, and according, I was reading this book about the four keys to execution, and it's really good.
- 23:55And I mean, Fortune 500 companies have used it and you can implement it in your life.
- 23:58We're going to definitely talk about it on another episode.
- 24:01But what I want you to understand is one of the main things that it was really that really stood out to me.
- 24:06I'm not even halfway through the book, I'm just a quarter in.
- 24:09But it said that when you plan so many things, have you noticed you don't hardly get nothing done?
- 24:15But when you focus on one to two things, when you focus on one to two tasks, you get them done and you get more done with throughout that day.
- 24:25Why?
- 24:26Because you're not scattered trying to multitask and get all of these different things done.
- 24:30So, like I said, guys, all the who waste your time consistently be honest about it.
- 24:34Number two, create boundaries around your productive hours.
- 24:37We were just talking about the deep work, create boundaries because everybody does not deserve unlimited access to you, they just don't.
- 24:46They've already shown you that.
- 24:47As black sheep, a lot of us we are uh we have retired from people pleasing, we have given people so much leeway and the benefit of the doubt, and they have shown us consistently that they don't value what we're doing.
- 25:00It's time to cut it because they have already shown you they don't deserve access, they don't deserve the unlimited access.
- 25:07Number three, replace consumption with creation.
- 25:09Listen, guys, instead of all that doom scrolling, listen, we all get caught up in it.
- 25:13Trust me.
- 25:13We I just told you that just happened to me three days ago, but I had to make it up on the back end, right?
- 25:19But what I want you to understand is even though I made up the time, I was still aggravated because I told myself, man, if you would have got this done when you said you could have watched a movie after nine o'clock instead of still working until 11, right?
- 25:31And still working and carrying over and finding other things you want to work on, you could have done all of those things that you said you want to do and some had you been focused.
- 25:39So listen, guys, I'm telling you about the doom scrolling consumption.
- 25:43Listen, spend less time doing it or reserve it for a certain part of the day.
- 25:50If you're like me and you like to set up playlists and things like that, set it up the night before, add it to your watch later list or whatever, right?
- 25:58Add it to the list, set some time up where you're gonna curate some things, and when that time is up, get off of there and do your thing.
- 26:05Because what I want you to understand is they are consuming our time.
- 26:08And listen, YouTube is beautiful.
- 26:10I love YouTube and I love podcasts, right?
- 26:12And we want them to help us grow.
- 26:14We need these tools, but you must understand if you're watching somebody that has uh 10,000 followers and a lot of views, they're they're monetized by now, they're getting paid while you're still consuming.
- 26:26And don't get me wrong, it's an exchange of value if you're learning something.
- 26:30However, you want to do it in moderation, you want to make sure that works out for you for your advantage and not just them.
- 26:38Replace consumption with creation.
- 26:41Create them playlists that's gonna help you continue to create because see, black sheep, we got the ideas, you got everything you need to succeed.
- 26:49You just have to manage your time more, right?
- 26:53That shift alone can change your life.
- 26:56Black sheep, your future is being built by what consistently, by what you consistently give your time to protect your focus, protect your momentum, and most definitely protect your peace.
- 27:10Because distracted people will waste years, then act confused when disciplined people secede.
- 27:17Until next time, keep in mind information is everywhere, but execution is rare.