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Episode 05: Purpose and Tiny Steps Forward · the Unvarnished Edit

0:00
Welcome to episode five of the Unvarnished Edit, where two friends talk about what it's actually like to live an adversity filled life.
0:07
Be prepared to laugh, possibly cry, and swear along with us.
0:12
This is Angie, and in today's episode, we discuss how we show up even when we don't want to.
0:18
We hope you enjoy.
Hello.
How are you? Great.
How are you? I am doing well, so I want to hear about your trip.
Trip.
So yes, we just got back from our honeymoon, delayed honeymoon.
We got married last year, but decided to wait until was nicer, et cetera, et cetera.
So we went to Europe.
It was great.
We had a really good time.
Let's see.
The weather was like super warm in one country, freezing cold in another country.
Then we came home here and it was over a hundred degrees.
Like my body was like.
freak out after that.
So I've been a little under the weather since, but predicted, I watched Bridgerton on the airplane, cried like a baby.
I actually Yes.
yes, I waited until the flight home.
We, our Yeah.
had so many different things going on with this trip that, the flight home, we just barely booked.
10 days before we came home before we left on the trip.
I mean, and so we didn't have seats together and so I had saved Bridgerton for that occasion.
And so I'm sitting in the middle in between like a young man who's maybe 19 or 20, and an older gentleman who's probably in his sixties and me and Bridgeton.
So I had to fast forward through a couple scenes.
I was like, I do not want to be removed from the plane for showing pornography.
Like I was just a little uncomfortable at some points.
But before I started Bridgeton, I finished my book, club book and I was sobbing through the book club book, and then I took a break and I was like, all right, I'll do Bridgeton.
And, and I calmed down for a little bit, and then I got to the sad parts and I was like, these people must think I'm a lunatic, because I just cried the entire flight.
It was so good though.
It was so good.
Right? It was, It was so good.
It was so I know, I, I wanna watch The Madison so bad with Michelle Pfeiffer and Kurt, but I know that I am going to be absolutely a mess and so I'm trying to figure out the day that I can binge it.
'cause I'm gonna have to watch the whole entire thing so that way I can ball hysterically takes some ibuprofen 'cause I will give myself a migraine and then not have to work or do anything the next day because I will be so emotionally hungover Yes, yes, 'cause I just know it.
I can't even watch the clips without in tears.
I love to always know what's gonna make me cry, Mm-hmm.
then when I feel like I have like that pent up, I just am like, all right, let me go be a sad person for a while.
Like, I'll watch this episode or listen to this song 'cause I know it's just gonna make me cry and then it's all out and I Yeah.
on with life.
Yeah.
No, I absolutely, I I cannot cry unless it is like something.
Else.
A lot of time my system, just my system shuts that down.
It is like, nope.
You are over the Rubicon of emotions that we are allowed to show in public Right, even it's just my room.
right.
It'll be like you can't cry about this really awful thing that happened, Mm-hmm.
if your toast, if your toast falls on the floor, you can lose it.
Which I guess is probably a good segue and do this.
into today's, is how do we show up even if we don't want to? Which honestly has probably been a theme in our lives, the vast majority in different aspects of life throughout, right? Like, it's not always been everything that we don't wanna show up at like one time.
Yeah.
but when you, I think when you live a life where you are regularly re self-reflecting and and really trying to like move forward and heal and just be a better, you know, learn and grow, right? Like it's a lot of responsibility.
It can feel like a lot of responsibility, right? Like that whole quote of like, once you know better, you do better.
Yeah.
The, that, that's a load to carry if, if you choose to, you know, be in that space.
And so there's a lot of times that you know, that you have to just show up for life even when you don't want to, and you just would rather crawl back in bed.
And I think that's also being a mom, being a woman, right, is especially a mom, like exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You know, since we decided on this topic, I've been thinking about it a lot and I've been kind of trying to pay attention sort of the different areas of my life and how I.
Feel like I am in those areas, right? Because we kind of talked about like we have, we show up at work when we don't want to? How do we show up for our families when we don't want to? And how do we show up for ourselves we don't want to, when we don't want to.
first of all, yeah, I think as I've grown and learned and always strived to improve in the areas that I think I need to improve in.
I find myself sometimes wishing I didn't know a better way to be.
Absolutely.
why do I have to be the adult in this situation? Absolutely.
Right.
And wishing that I could just like play to my baser instinct and Mm-hmm.
Feel like I have to do the right thing.
I, I don't know if I'm wording that right, but also I think I know for sure the spot that I've always had the hardest showing up for is I always have a hard time showing up for myself.
Oh, absolutely.
Right Yeah, absolutely.
to the As caretakers, selfish.
When I do yeah, like we literally have to learn how to Mm-hmm.
show up.
For ourselves.
And I feel like I, this has been a consistent journey.
I remember when Todd and I first got together and he was like, you do realize you do nothing for yourself.
Right? And I was like, what do you mean? Like, I do this, I do that.
You know, I get my nails done and I get a haircut regularly.
He's like, that's, that's not really.
And I was like, but that's, that's where we're at.
And I got myself a coffee and I get Starbucks we get treats along the way, right? That but I had to learn, like I, I had to learn what does it even, what does it even mean when we say show up for yourself? I think it's a lot, it's easier to understand what it means when you show up for work.
Right.
We're, we're present at work.
We're, you know, we're we're active in that space.
I think it's, I think it's easy to understand showing up for family and our kiddos because, you know, that's, that's easy to, easier to understand.
But when it comes to showing it for ourselves, I think a lot of times we have to learn what that actually is I think when it becomes an internal thing of like, no, actually showing up for myself as saying I'm not comfortable with this, or I don't actually like to do this thing that I've been doing just to please you or because you want to do it, or, you know, those things been almost impossible for me to learn how to do at some points.
Yeah, it's, I mean, honestly it's hard and it feels like, and we all, we've said this before and we'll probably say it a hundred times again, because when we have been doing patterns for decades.
We're trying to change patterns that we have really, like when we think of brain circuits and we think of neural pathways, it is, it is difficult to to change that pathway because you automatically wanna default right at all times.
So like, especially when you get dysregulated, which is the time that you need to show up for yourself the most, is actually the hardest time to show up for yourself.
Because your brain just wants the safe pattern, even though it's not actually the safe pattern, but the pattern that has been there for so long, that feels safe to it.
Yeah.
wants to, you know, automatically, like we talked about in our, our last episode, the safety template.
It wants to default back to that, like not being seen and not being heard, and those places that it kind of feels safe.
And so.
For me, it is a constant like, so like concrete things that I do.
I have two, three different alarms on my phone that are set for recurring daily.
So there is an ad that you can get like an re a, a repeat alarm app where you can just say, and honestly, whenever I'm trying to do something new, so like right now, what are my apps or what are, what are my things? reminders? Right now, my 11:11 AM reminder is be fiercely protective of ourselves.
Ooh, I That reminder has been there for the longest.
That one has probably been there for a year and a half, two years.
Like once I feel like I'm in that space and I got that, I usually change it.
Or if something new comes in, then I go and change it.
And it has.
I mean, we've, we, I've been doing this for years because I have found that having that reminder actually helps me.
And then I have two other reminders on my phone and one is rest is progress because I need it.
And the other one is, communication is key So and curious about this because, when you get those alarms, right, so mm-hmm.
You know, your communication is key alarm comes up in the afternoon.
Do you like read it and contemplate it and like take it? Like how do you, like literally logistically, what do you do in that moment that you read the message? It just depends.
There are some days where I'm like, okay, we really gotta like be super intentional of it.
And and other days where it's like, I don't even remember that alarm going off.
Kind of piece to it.
And so giving myself grace for that, right? But when they do come up, it is an, an just an intentional thought.
Oh, that's right.
Rest is progress.
And I typically will, you know, take a breath or just give some kind of thought or attention to it.
When I set reminders like that, or when I have, I've had like affirmation apps before or whatever, I completely ignore them.
I just, Yeah.
it becomes like white noise for my eyeballs.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Whatever, eh, and that's the same thing you and I talked about our calendars one time.
There's certain things in my calendar that if they're on there, that's gospel to me.
It's only when someone else is involved, like I have a meeting or I have to be somewhere.
Those are the only things that matter to me in my calendar.
If I calendar a walk or time at the gym or something like that, if I don't do it, I don't feel embarrassed.
I don't feel ashamed and I don't care.
And having it in my calendar doesn't make me go.
Yeah.
that to be really challenging of like, how do I.
of all, I find it amazing that that works for other people.
I'm like envious of that.
I'm like, how does your brain that seriously? Because I'm the one that put it in there.
I can take it out.
Like, it just doesn't, just doesn't seem like a real commitment to me.
Yeah.
The only commitments in my calendar that I believe and adhere to are the ones that someone else will be upset with me if I don't do it, I will be upsetting someone else.
Like I'll miss a meeting, or I'll be late for an appointment or something like that.
Then it's like gospel.
I will be there, Yeah.
Yeah.
But I think that, yeah, but I think that speaks exactly to showing up to for yourself, I know.
I'm right? Like.
huh, there's my problem.
That'll be $150.
Thank you.
I'll take the Dutch Brothers gift card thanks.
No, but I had to teach myself Yeah.
I was the exact same way.
Like I could put it in the calendar.
It wouldn't make a difference.
It was something that I was gonna do.
I had, I.
One point I would get to, to the point of shaming myself or taking privilege, almost like treating myself as if I was the child Oh, you in.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
Like you could not have this.
But see, I've always worked, I've always worked that way where I'm a super like, treat based person.
I just am, you know, I didn't even realize that gas station kids were a thing.
I was not raised a gas station kid, but I raised gas station kid.
My husband is not even in the, like, he can go into a gas station, use their bathroom, not purchase a single thing.
And I know I, I literally find it rude.
I'm like, you're giving me a bathroom that I can use, so therefore I right.
Like I should buy a treat so I should go there.
And then being a smoker for so many years, I.
I could never buy a carton of cigarettes because then I'd actually smoke more.
So I had to buy a pack every single day.
So I was in the gas station All the day.
Yeah.
So I'm, I've always been a, I, I kind of a treat person that way, and so I literally would treat myself like a child as far as, okay, well then you can't have that, like if you can't even show up for this piece, you know what I mean? That's in there.
I, I was never taught to show up for myself ever.
In fact, showing up for myself was incredibly dangerous.
And so, I mean, it's not, it's not easy, but it can happen and I think it is, it is really that intentional.
Piece to it and taking it small, like we tend to go into these projects, like it's across the whole entire board and it's so much that the brain is like to you, right? Yeah.
I can't, I can't do it.
For those of you who are just listening, that would've been a middle finger.
Hey, but at least we don't have to bleep it.
Right.
You know, like we take on these big projects and think that it all has to happen at one time, and.
You have to, especially when it comes for yourself, make the tasks small and actionable, something that you can actually see.
So like when my husband and I first got together and he was like, getting your nails done and getting your hair done is not a thing.
It was for me though, because I would go months, I would go, years I've gone eight, nine years without a haircut because I've put everyone else and every single else thing first.
Right.
Because everything, there was always something else.
So, so to him it was like, that's not really doing it, but to me it had meant everything and, and it gave me the foundation of starting to put myself first and starting to show up for myself so that when I, you know, when we would talk about it and it's like, okay, well we need to rest.
Like you probably shouldn't be like working every free moment that you have.
Right? Like, what does that look like? Listening to my body we talked before about the amount of times that I've worked myself to like a physiological sickness.
I needed that small piece of foundation, which seems so like getting your hair done, getting your nails done thing in order for me to move forward, right? So like when we talk about, this is not this like big thing.
It's like what are the little things? Where do you, what can you add in to create that foundation of doing it for yourself that actually means something.
Yeah.
And that's, that's interesting 'cause I'm also thinking about, like, were talking this week about there was like a change I wanted to make that was so easy to make all of a sudden, and it was something I had been trying to do for a while, then I got, you know, it's just some dietary stuff, right? And I just didn't, I wasn't eating right.
I didn't feel good.
Like I was like just my body, I was just like, felt gross and I, I just couldn't change it.
And then I got some blood work back that wasn't great and I immediately was like, oh, well now I can change it.
And it was sort of like that, having that purpose or that.
That reason to change, it took all of the friction out.
Right? And that kind of got me thinking about purpose a little bit, where like when I feel like I'm being very purposeful at work or I have like a purpose that I'm moving towards, it's so much easier for me to be there on hard days or deal with problems that I don't wanna deal with, whatever.
Same with parenting and in my family, when I feel like we're all on the same page and we're moving towards aligned goals and things like that, a lot easier to manage the friction and manage that.
And so what's interesting to me about that is if I can have a purpose an overarching purpose, a big picture, and I can align my work and my family and my relationships and my free time with that and advocate for myself in those areas with regards to what I feel is purposeful.
That's actually a way to show up for myself.
And so for me, that's like an easier entry point because I am so other focused Mm-hmm.
If I feel really purposeful, stand up for myself and say, no, I don't wanna do that.
'cause that doesn't align with the, something that is a purpose for me.
Right.
So it's interesting 'cause it's kind of like a combination of two things.
It's like a big overarching umbrella of purpose and also tiny little steps of building habits just to advocate for yourself or take care of yourself or make space for yourself.
It's almost like working at it from both ends, where then you come to a spot where all of a sudden you are of your own life, which is really the goal, right? I wanna be the main character of my own life, To do that takes a lot of little decisions, but big purposes.
Does that make sense? Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's, it's made me start thinking of like, how do we show up when we don't have that purpose? And I'm thinking specifically right, for like work and I mean, families a little bit different, but.
Specifically for work, especially if it's something like we don't like to do or we don't feel that there, but we need the money.
We have to work, right? And so how do we show up for work while not losing ourself in that piece? Because I think that has been a big thing for me.
My whole life is right.
How do we show up for others? How do we show up for, you know, the things we have to do in life without losing.
Ourselves.
How do they not become the largest purpose? Where we're them? The smallest purpose, Yeah.
you know? And I think work has been like.
Really challenging me in the past couple years, especially because work is hard to find you have a criminal justice background.
That is a very challenging position to be in, and I'm super grateful that I've been able to move past that and I've grown out of that.
But I think there's so many different parts of what goes into that work conversation, right? Because we have our purpose and our family and our bills and all of that.
But there's also external factors like socioeconomics and class and poverty and all of these issues that like, it feels like a privilege to really even be able to say, I need to have a purpose at work.
Yeah, makes it absolutely.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
But without that purpose, the weight of carrying it is super detrimental and heavy.
It's, it's absolutely like physically draining.
It's emotionally draining.
Yeah.
You come home at the end of day and you're like, why am I even, Yeah, this? What is the yeah, What is yeah, yeah, yeah.
hard.
And it's, it's, it's really hard and I, and I think there's a lot of us that are actually, you know what I mean, in that position, I mean, not currently in that position, have been in that position.
And.
For me, I've always had to change the narrative, right? Like, even if it's just changing the narrative in my head.
We have a, we have a saying that we can just, we can do hard things and literally that's the, like I will, I will just repeat it.
Like, I can do hard things.
I can do hard things.
I can do hard things.
To be able to kind of move through those pieces.
But what I have found is crucial in order for it not to take me out completely, is what I do when I leave the place, right? So whether the work is done or I'm physically leaving, the work is done and making sure that.
I am intentionally doing something for myself, breathing, releasing, you know, whatever it is.
Showering helps to kind of really like get the ick right off and through.
Even if it's just metaphorically, it has worked, but I have to be super intentional for showing up for myself.
And even just kind of creating the capacity to do whatever it is throughout, you know what I mean? Like having those little pieces because without that, I feel like it takes your soul, yeah, you know? I have they don't have a right.
No, no.
I have found what works really well for me is when I am in a situation where I have no choices at work.
I've gotta be there and I, it does not align with my, with me.
I have to create something else in my life, a volunteer opportunity, or I have to create something else to offset it.
And you know, it could be like when, when my kids were younger, I spent a lot of time at the school 'cause I would feel really purposeful there.
I felt like I was contributing to that volunteer work like anything I could do to like create a little bit of space and balance where it wasn't like this, it could be like maybe this, right? Mm-hmm.
that has always helped me make it through.
And then, you know, just reminding myself, this is not forever, this is not forever.
This is not Yes, just, yes, And I like to yes evidence has shown you are not going to be doing this forever.
Right? Because I can just kind of use my own history as like my own evidence.
yes.
Yes.
I love that kind of, it's along the, along the same lines of the statement that people make of, you've survived a hundred percent So of the Yeah.
Of the horrible days you've had so far.
Right.
Like, evidence has shown yeah.
that one, it.
this, this too will pass Mm-hmm.
too.
That, that we do come through.
Right.
I think a lot of times too, just reminding like, not only do we come through, but.
Typically we come through with some kind of lesson, something is a little bit better, even if it totally takes me out.
Right? Yeah.
And there's a big negative effect even past that, knowing that that goes, you know what I mean? That and there's something, and maybe it is a brand new boundary Yeah.
I just never knew that I needed.
Yeah, I've learned something at every job I've had, even the crappy ones.
But I will say when I'm in it, and I'm unhappy about it, if someone says to me, this too shall pass, Oh, the face.
oh, exactly.
we don't say Rightfully so.
just response.
Yeah.
We just don't, we don't share that.
Mm-hmm.
We just embody that advice.
FYI.
Yeah.
Yeah, But it does help absolutely.
think it helps as we age and we have more life experience to really be able to know that this is a point in time.
Wherever I'm at, whether I'm, whether I'm having a difficult time at work, if I'm having a difficult time parenting or being in this relationship I, know it will pass.
Right.
And I, and that really.
Really, I think is something that comes with life experiences is starting to know that and really life has gone through cycles.
It it's cycles and sometimes work is more important.
Sometimes I'm more important, sometimes my family's more important.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was thinking about, you know, showing up for family.
That has always been super easy for me because that's my default of where to go, right? And what I have learned actually is that I show up best for my family when I've already shown up for myself, and that the more I do for them, the worse it is for them and that.
Yeah, that was a, that was a hard, that was a hard lesson because I default, I just literally had the conversation with the kids last week and I said, my minor, the minor kids.
And I said, sometimes I, I really absolutely despise being a good parent because.
I know that this is a really hard time for you, and what I want to do is I want to just let you stay home.
I want us to go watch a movie.
I want us to go get some takeout.
I just wanna make you feel better in this moment, but I know that all I'm doing is delaying the inevitable, Yeah, and so.
Although you do not wanna go and face this right now, number one, I do not blame you in any way, shape or form.
I don't want you to go and face I.
this, right? Like, I wish I could do something else.
But I know that for you, this is going to be that you need to go through this because all we're doing is you're always gonna have a first day back for whatever the situation is.
You can only delay it for so long, I had to be able to show up for myself though, and be in a space where I could actually say that, right? yeah, Because.
Yeah.
You know, I had a situation this weekend with my youngest and she's, she wasn't with us and she was texting me and, and she needed to do something she didn't wanna do, and she had already waited too long to do it, Mm-hmm.
it was gonna, and it was making it worse.
And I Mm-hmm.
telling her, you, you have got to just do this.
Rip off the bandaid.
You are making it worse.
And I could have stepped in and done the thing for her 'cause she needed to tell her dad something she just, it just, she kept delaying and delaying and I could see, as an adult, I could see it playing out poorly for her the longer she delayed.
And I could have, and in, in previous instances in my life, when I was younger and knew less, I would have stepped in had that initial communication on her behalf.
Mm-hmm.
Time I had to really restrain myself and remind myself that she needs this lesson.
She needs the consequences of her actions.
I cannot save her from this.
The best parent I can be right now is to let her mess this up Mm-hmm.
And have the consequences of it.
And the only reason I'm able to do that now is because I've done enough work myself to see the times that I have interrupted other people's consequences or other people have interrupted the consequences for me, and it has been hugely detrimental to me.
And she eventually did it.
It did not go well.
At No.
the f it is still, it is, this ball is still rolling Right, right, and she's upset.
know, and it's like, yeah, I saw this mean, and I'm not gonna say I told you so, right.
you know, she doesn't need to know Yeah.
does.
She knows already.
Mm-hmm.
It all play out, allowing it to unfold naturally for our kids is antithetical to what I feel like I wanna do inside Mm-hmm.
to allow that to happen is takes a lot of work for me internally.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Yes.
It's hard.
Yeah.
And being able to control those feelings is self-care.
Being able to say, I am really upset right now.
I hate this for her.
I'm like, bouncing out of my skin, but I've gotta let this happen.
I can't it I can't step in to ease my anxiety.
Mm-hmm.
not the right choice.
And so that is, I Mm-hmm.
when we're talking about taking care of ourselves as parents before we parent, I think that's what I mean by that.
It's Absolutely.
It's hard.
You have to have capacity to really be able to feel the hard and sit to and to sit with it.
Yeah.
And to sit with it.
And that takes a lot of, a lot of capacity Yeah.
it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And letting ourselves be supported in that as well, you know? Yeah.
it takes a lot of it, and there's no way I would've been able to do that as a younger parent, right? I just didn't have the skills to take care of my own emotions.
If I felt uncomfortable with what my kids were going through, I would solve it so that my discomfort would go away and, was such a hard lesson for me to learn the amount of times that I did things, not because it was best for them, but because it was really, honestly best for me.
Yeah.
because.
It was incredibly difficult to sit through, Mm-hmm.
Discomfort and pain.
So it wasn't until I read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, and she gave her definition of codependence, of not allowing others to have the consequences of their own actions.
And I was like so what you're saying is.
I'm codependent.
I was literally like my That book was a life changer.
No, that book was a life changer for me as well.
Absolutely.
It was like, oh.
My soul left my body, like my entire history replayed before me and not only did I realize I had been doing that for my children for their entire life, I realized that that is how I was raised as well, or how I was interacted with as well.
Multiple people in my life were spending a lot of time not letting me feel the consequences of the choices that I made.
Yeah, Seems benevolent at the time, but it is not.
no.
very Yeah, yeah.
And then we end up having conversations in our late forties, early fifties of how do we show up for ourselves? Yep.
Because as, as hard as it is, learning those lessons and, and allowing those lessons to come through is actually how we learn what it is we need.
Like when I say show up, show up for myself, what are some of the things that I actually mean by that, right? Like identifying how do things feel.
Like really like in your body, like how does it feel? How are you connected to your body? Right.
Do you even feel those, do you even feel those things? These, these are all things that I've had to learn.
Mm-hmm.
you know, I didn't, I did not have language for for any of it.
And I had no, I didn't.
I mean, I just didn't even know what that meant when someone said, show up for yourself.
Like, Yeah.
like literally.
Like, what do you mean? Like, how am I not showing up for myself? Like I'm here? I ate breakfast today.
What do you mean? Exactly.
I Like, oh.
I mean that the fact that I can't say no when I learned that no is a complete sentence, that was life-changing for me.
You mean I don't have to explain my No, no is a complete sentence, right? had to learn? No, is a complete sentence, but you have to say it out loud.
Because I would say it internally all the time.
I Mm-hmm.
I would just be like, no, nope.
And then I would go do the thing.
Yeah.
I literally have to say to myself, this is one of the things I say to myself all the time.
No is a complete sentence, but I have to say it out loud.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I know.
So I think what we've come down to here, and a takeaway here is thinking about purpose, right? Thinking about how we can handle ourselves and handle what's going on inside ourselves so that we can allow others to feel and handle themselves, Mm-hmm.
but also taking like tiny steps forward towards what we want for ourself.
Mm-hmm.
is best for ourself, I guess.
'cause sometimes the thing that's best for us is not always the thing that's like the big shiny object, right? So I don't like the Yeah, there, but moving towards what is best for us in small steps and not trying to just like, overhaul your life because I don't like the way this looks.
Right.
yeah, yeah, that's, I think that's the takeaway.
Yeah.
And that, you know, showing up showing up even when we don't want to that is a regular occurrence and is going to happen.
So I think not shaming ourselves, Hmm.
not guilting ourselves, just recognizing like, I really don't want to do this, but why don't I wanna do this? Yeah.
it cross about my own personal boundary? Is it right negative to my wellbeing? Is it, you know, what is it? That I don't want to show up for, because a lot of times it's different than what we think it's yeah.
That's a good, that's a good point.
And so always investigating the why like not shaming ourselves for the feelings.
Our feelings are here.
They're just, they, they just are.
And feelings are like toddlers.
And if you've ever had a toddler who like wants something and they're, they'll come and they'll be, you know, mom, mom here, you know, I want this.
And you're like, hold on a second.
Hold on a second.
And they just increase in temperature and they increase in tempo and in things and everything until you stop.
You give them what the, whatever it is that they're asking, and then what do they do? They go in their merry own way and you don't see them again, right? Feelings are that way as well.
We can push them back and push them back and push them back.
All they're going to be doing is all they're gonna do is get louder Mm-hmm.
and so.
Just acknowledging, okay, I, you know, I, I have to show up for this and I don't want to.
Why is it that I don't want to, because that will help us, right.
Identify what the next step is and what is, what are some of the things that you can do for yourself to continue, right.
To move forward.
Yeah.
Yeah.
To find that.
totally.
I know.
Well, I love this conversation.
Yeah.
I think it's been really helpful in, in like, it's, it's made me think a lot, it's been really thought Mm-hmm.
like what do I think about purpose and work and family and self and where those all combine and intersect.
So yeah, really thought provoking.
So thanks for Yeah.
And where are we not showing up Yeah.
for ourselves? Right? That, well, thanks for being with us today.
I We'll see you next time.
absolutely.
Bye.
Thank you for joining us today.
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