Latest / The Inner Wealth Podcast / Ep126. Conquering Imposter Syndrome: Transforming Self-Doubt into a Powerful Self-Concept.

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Ep126. Conquering Imposter Syndrome: Transforming Self-Doubt into a Powerful Self-Concept. · The Inner Wealth Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: This is Mike Kitco and I'm a small business owner just like you.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: I'll never be a hustle, horror, grind guru, but I do believe in having it all health, wealth and a life full of love.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Struggle is not the goal and sacrifice is not glamorous.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I like the path of least resistance.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: It just takes a shift in mindset and the beliefs you hold.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: You believe that you need to sacrifice now to have what you want later, or do you believe that you can have it all all the time?
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Does your beliefs create your outcomes?
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I choose to feel wealthy, successful and happy every day, and you get to choose for yourself.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Welcome to lead love, profit play, where small business owners learn and choose to have it all and choose to create success without distress.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: My first book that I wrote and published is titled the Impostor in Charge.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Now, when I started this whole coaching experience, this coaching extravaganza that I've been on for the last six years, basically I was dealing with the imposter syndrome and that's why my corporate career collapsed, and if you've listened to this podcast long enough, you've heard me tell the story, but I'll summarize it.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I was ascending the ladder of corporate and I continued to elevate in success and I guess, the power that I had, the authority that I had and the titles kept getting bigger and bigger, and so did the paychecks, and so did everything else in my life started getting bigger, and the influence that I had and the leadership, the organizations that I ran I managed a manufacturing plan of $65 million and I also managed an energy plan of $350 million the size and the scope and the magnitude of everything that I was experiencing and leading in my life kept getting bigger and bigger.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: And I found myself when I started off on my management career and my management trajectory, I felt like a fraud and felt like it was all a sham and I was lying to people about how talented I was.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: But the higher I got on the ladder of success and on the highest rungs of success that I attained, the bigger it got.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: So did the screams and the yelling inside of me about how much I was a fraud and how much I was an imposter, and they were going to find out that I wasn't good enough, and they were going to find out that I wasn't that good, that I wasn't talented, and they were going to realize at some point that it was other people making me successful and that I was just always in the right place at the right time that somebody was going to find out and I was going to be exposed and it was all going to come toppling down.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: And when I started my coaching, that's why I got rejected from corporate America, because everything in my life felt like it was a big lie.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: And when I got unceremoniously I like to say unceremoniously booted out of corporate and I started a coaching business instead of going back into corporate, I understood, reflected and started diagnosing what happened in my life and it was the imposter syndrome.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: And in the coaching world, what we like to say and what we find really cheeky to say and that's typically true is what we can help people the most with coaches, influencers, people that coaches, teachers, consultants what we can help people the most with is a problem that we've transcended in our own life.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: And if you can find a problem in your life and resolve that problem, transcend that problem and learn, you understand how to resolve that problem.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: There are millions of people around the face of the planet with that exact problem and you just need to speak.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: That problem, the problem that you experienced, and the right people will start to connect with you.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Because in a world of 8 billion, there are millions of people with any single problem at any given time, and the imposter syndrome is a big problem in this world, like I don't know if you, and it's all fueled by insecurity and inadequacy and insignificance, these voices that are inside of us telling us that we're not that good, that it's all a ruse, it's all a lie.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: We're just telling ourselves stories and you put a mask on and you just pretend to be powerful when you don't feel powerful inside.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: And to start my coaching business I mean to get the six figures I hit double six figures in my first full year in coaching but to get the six figures, I had no website, I had no business cards, I had no media, I had no marketing, except for I'd make these silly postings on Facebook and I'd say I help executive leaders feel as powerful inside as they appear on the outside.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Because that's what the imposter syndrome is.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: It's that you are powerful outside of you, you have influence and you have control of organizations or of businesses or of teams or whatever, and you have the ability to have authoritative control over these things.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: But inside you feel like you feel weak and you feel corrupt and you feel inadequate and you feel insignificant and you feel like it's all a house of cards and the difference between the internal narrative and the external narrative.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: That's what creates the imposter syndrome.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Now, I didn't intend when I started this podcast episode that it was going to be about the imposter syndrome, but it's about something even more powerful and something even more significant, something that I feel is even more valuable than just the imposter syndrome.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: But the imposter syndrome is a derivative of this thing, and the topic that I want to unpack today with you is the power of your self-concept.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Now, in that imposter syndrome story that I just went over, the internal concept that I held was I wasn't talented and I just air-quoted for everybody listening that can't see it.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: The internal concept that I held was that I was not talented.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: The internal concept was I was not valuable.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: The internal concept that I held was I had no requisite skills to create success.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: The internal concept that I had was I was a failure.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: The internal concept that I held is there was nothing worthy and valuable and significant about me.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: These were all self-concepts, these were all internal narratives that were raging in my mind and in my thoughts and in my belief systems and ultimately, these, this self-concept and these stories that were hidden and packed inside of my self-concept these were ultimately what ended up like me getting banished from corporate and ejected and fired twice in a matter of 20 months after a long, successful run where I didn't feel valuable and I didn't feel talented.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: We talk about mindset and I'm going to add just a flavor and an elementary analysis of what mindset means.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: All mindset is how your self-concept shapes your reality and how your self-concept shapes your future.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Your self-concept is, in and of itself, mindset.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Here's what this all means and here's why this is super powerful.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Inside of your mind and body right now, you hold stories about who you are and what you're capable of.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Right now, inside of your mind and body, you are telling yourself stories and holding beliefs, sometimes intentionally and sometimes not, but you are holding beliefs that are creating your current circumstances.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: But also these stories, these beliefs, this internal narrative, is shaping the future that you are creating for yourself, by yourself, with yourself, with full authority, full responsibility and full ownership.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: It's your self-concept that's driving that, and here's probably the most in my mind when I go back to 2016, when this all started.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Probably the most paralyzing part of this was when I didn't understand.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I thought I was like a victim of that self-concept.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: But what I've realized since then, and what I'm encouraging you to realize, is that you own your self-concept and there is no one on the face of this planet that's forcing you to hold on to a self-concept that is less than one, in which you are fully certain and you are fully assured of creating wealth and success and happiness, because you feel worthy, you feel valuable, you feel powerful, you feel intelligent, you feel deserving, you feel like, just ultimately and infinitely, all there is good in the world and anything less than that.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: You're doing yourself a great disservice, because not only do you control and have you shaped the self-concept that you are holding right now, you are also the only one in control and in charge and responsible for the self-concept that shows up tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that and the day after that, and no one can take whatever self-concept you develop.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: No one can take that away from you and no one can force you to hold any self-concept.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: That's why it's called a self-concept.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like your favorite color.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: No one can do this thing for you.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: But here's why this all matters, because whatever self-concept you hold, your life will not go farther, very far beyond that self-concept, before it snaps back and meets you right there.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: When I was in corporate and I felt like I was a fraud and an imposter and I felt like I was going to get fired because at some point somebody was going to see that I wasn't that good.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: My life expanded beyond that self-concept, but not very far.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: And when it got too far beyond that self-concept, it all snapped back to show me how that self-concept was true.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: The cap on the amount of health that you'll enjoy in your life the cap, the max, the maximum allowable cap that you will put on your health right now is buried in your self-concept.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: The amount of wealth right now that you will allow yourself to enjoy is buried in your self-concept.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: The amount of success right now that you will allow yourself to experience, to create, is buried inside of your self-concept.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: And how much you will allow yourself to feel loved right now is buried inside of your self-concept.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: And there's a very real probability that if you look at your health and if you look at your wealth, you look at the impact you make and you look at the amount of love that you feel on a daily basis.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: You are at your cap inside of your current self-concept, and no one has given you or forced you to maintain that self-concept.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: When I was starting my coaching business and it's like you know, the first thing to step number one to being a coach, to becoming a coach, to becoming an author, a speaker, the first step is to identify as that.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Before you have any reason or any evidence that that thing is true, if you want to start let's say you wanna, you wanna become an author, then you open the book, you open a piece of paper and you start writing or you start typing as if you are an author.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: You don't wait until the book gets published to identify as an author.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: Authors don't write books.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: An author isn't an author because a book is published.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: An author is an author because the author starts writing the book.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: A coach is not a coach because that coach has clients.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: A coach is a coach and gets clients because he or she says they are a coach.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: A speaker doesn't identify with the label the speaker after the first speaking engagement.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: The speaking engagement becomes or comes into being because the person identified as a speaker and you can say that I'm not a coach and then it's gonna be really, really, really difficult for you to get that first coaching client.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: You can say I'm not an author, but it's gonna be really difficult to write that first book.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: It's going to be.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: You can say I am not wealthy, but it's gonna be really hard to create wealth with a mindset, with a self-concept, the concept that says I am not wealthy or I am not capable of creating wealth or it's not available to me.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: Wealth will not become available to you when you hold the belief and you hold the self-concept that wealth is not available to you.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: These the limitations are embedded in your self-concept of what's true for you, what's correct for you, what's valuable for you, what's available to you, and all of these are buried and hidden in your self-concept.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: You're not going to have a lot of people in this world, a mass of people, but start to believe that you are talented.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: If you are holding the belief and the self-concept that you are not talented because then you won't truly step into your talent you won't make a significant difference in the world if you feel like you are not capable of making a significant difference because you will hold yourself back, because your self-concept wants to be right more than it wants to be proven incorrect.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: And if you are holding a self-concept, trust me when I that's detrimental to your long-term future.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Trust me when I say you are your only adversary.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Don't blame it on anyone else.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: And there's a concept called cognitive dissonance.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: And let me explain cognitive dissonance real quick.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Cognitive dissonance is when you hold a belief let's say I'm not talented and someone outside of you says wow, you're really talented.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Now these two don't align and they can't coexist.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: You can't hold a belief and someone tell you that you're talented.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: Hold a belief that you're not and someone tell you you're talented the two can't coexist.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: One of them has to go.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Now, if you're anything like most of the people that I know that hold their beliefs to be sacred, when these two are in conflict this internal concept, this narrative and this external circumstance of someone telling you you're talented One of them has to go and ultimately, people typically hold on to their belief and then think the person outside is lying to them and you have to make the other person wrong so that you can be right.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Because they're in conflict and one of them has to go, you're holding a self-concept that no one is truly honest with you and then someone in your life is honest to a fault, you're going to find a way and you hold on to your belief, because that's what us not so smart human beings like to do.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: We like to hold on to our self-concept, we like to hold on to our beliefs, we like to hold on to our limitations and when we're faced with evidence that's in conflict with the belief and the self-concept we're holding, we ultimately find a way to make the external circumstance wrong so that we can be right.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: When you feel broke, when you feel like wealth isn't available to you, when you feel limited in your finances, when you feel and you believe that wealth is for everyone else and not you, you will find a way to prove that shit right, even at the expense of your own wealth, because our self-concept fights to be correct and so we make it correct.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: When we feel like we're insignificant, that we're just a waste of space in this world and we don't matter and we can't make an impact and nobody's listening and nobody's watching us, nobody's paying attention to us, so we don't really matter, we're not really valuable in this world, we will find a way in, because human beings love to hold on to their internal narrative and their self-concept more than they like to disprove that internal narrative, that self-concept, we typically will find a way to make it right, and this is called self-sabotage.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: In the Interwealth Mastermind we have a book study every Tuesday evening at 6.30 pm, central time, and right now the book that we're studying is Be your Future Self Now by Dr Benjamin Hardy.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: And what a gem this book is.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: It's one of what I call my sacred seven, like thinking you're rich and the science of getting rich and, as a man, think if and the strangest secret by Earl Nightingale, and breaking the habit of being yourself.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: My sacred seven I think I named six, but that's sacred seven.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: And Be your Future Self.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Now they say the same thing.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: They talk about your self-concept, that in order to expand the circumstances in your life, your self-concept must first change.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: The self-concept must change first and then the results basically recreate themselves around your new self-concept.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: If you think you are a failure, you will not be able to create success from that failure.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: If you identify, if you view yourself as poor, you will not be able to create wealth.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: If you view yourself as disadvantaged, you will not be able to rise to success.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: If you hold on to small, painful, depleted, debilitating self-concepts, you will not be able to rise above them.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Because when you start to get out of those circumstances, your self-concept will pull you back into those circumstances.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Because typically and this is the most ludicrous thing that I've seen in this coaching world and this mindset space and this understanding of how human beings work, we value, even when it's painful, we value our self-concept above and beyond the circumstances we say we want in the world.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we fight for that self-concept, sometimes want to be victims, and they will fight for their victimhood, they will fight for their stories, they will fight for their beliefs.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: You don't understand I have this disorder.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: You don't understand I have this.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: You don't understand I was born poor.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: You don't understand, I was dot, dot, dot.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: And they will find a way, find a way to hold on to their victim story because God forbid, they changed their self-concept.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Because if they, if and when they change their self-concept, their entire life would change, and that's not really what they want.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: They want to prove their self-concept right.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Your self-concept determines how you're showing up right now and your self-concept determines how far you are going to allow your circumstances to expand, going forward, and no one can change your self-concept.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: For you, I can offer higher-level self-concept or concepts for you and only you can embrace them.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: But when I form a concept of someone, I don't wrap my concept around their limitations.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I wrap my concepts around their potential and then they get to choose if they want their small self-concept or if they want a larger self-concept that will allow them to create more wealth, success and happiness in life.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: But please understand that your self-concept creates your caps on the circumstances in your life.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: And here's what you do with this, starting today create a new self-concept around what you're capable of and your potential and your health and your wealth and the impact that you can make in this world and in what's available to you, in your most powerful and intimate relationships, how lovable and how loved you are.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Form new self-concepts, new beliefs, new narratives and stories inside your mind and body, in your self-concept.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: And when you fully immerse yourself and fully absorb and fully believe that new self-concept, I want you to watch how life rearranges itself around it, because that's all this life is.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: It's like woo-woo, mysticism and the Sacred Seven.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: They all say the same thing when you form a new self-concept first, life rearranges itself.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: To prove you right Now.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: I'll leave you with this.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: I want you to really reflect over the coming week.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Do you hold your self-concept so sacred that you're limiting yourself, or will you allow yourself to form a higher level, higher powered, higher influenced self-concept that will allow your wealth, success, happiness, freedom to expand to a level that lights your soul on fire?
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Will you allow yourself, if you're like most, you value your current self-concept over your potential self-concept, but if you're in the small minority and I am I'm willing to adopt and form a new self-concept that hasn't been proven true yet, knowing that it's just a matter of time, that it will be true, and that's how we expand our circumstances.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Dive in, guys.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Take inventory of what your current self-concept looks like, the stories, the beliefs that you hold about yourself, and then, from each belief and story, draw an arrow, draw a line with an arrow and write a new belief, write a new story, write a new narrative, write a new self-concept.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: And then, if you go on YouTube, I have a meditation called Installing Future.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: You Do that meditation.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: I'll also put it in the show notes, a link to the YouTube version.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: I'll put it in the show notes.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: Take your new self-concept and do that meditation and watch how your life changes.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Do it for 30 days and you won't be the same person.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Do the work.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: It works only every single time.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: To enjoy what you heard and you want to learn more, go to wwwinnerwealthglobalcom for more tools and resources.