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Live with Anita Kopacz at the Mental Wealth Expo · Deeply Well with Devi Brown

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Speaker 1: M from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in
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Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers
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Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you
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Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands
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Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the
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Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals
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Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments
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Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored ALCHEMYO cheriots to keep
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Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black,
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Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of
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Speaker 1: jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,
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Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ass. This
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Speaker 1: is at the ancestors told me that you would come
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Speaker 1: to give wisdom of thousands. They said you would come
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Speaker 1: Dropping Dropping Gym. Hey, welcome back. It's the Dropping Gyms Podcast.
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Speaker 1: I am your host, Debbie Brown. Shout out to everybody
1:17
Speaker 1: dropping the reviews and hitting me on the ground with
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Speaker 1: the episodes that you're listening to. Always always grateful to
1:23
Speaker 1: connect in that way. So big, big, big, thank you,
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Speaker 1: big big big love. Al Right, this week was amazing.
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Speaker 1: I did my very first live broadcast of my podcast
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Speaker 1: and we did it in Times Square in New York City.
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Speaker 1: So let me set the stage a little bit. There
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Speaker 1: was such such power to be had this last weekend. Wow,
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Speaker 1: I first want to really ground um this whole episode
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Speaker 1: and everything I'm about to say, and so much love
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Speaker 1: and so much gratitude for my brother Leonard Charlemagne the God.
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Speaker 1: He put on the inaugural Mental Wealth Expo in the
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Speaker 1: heart of New York City along with I Heart Radio,
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Speaker 1: and it was profound. It was such a powerful day.
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Speaker 1: It was so surreal and full circle as well. I
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Speaker 1: remember close to two years ago I had a dream
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Speaker 1: about shar and I was like, I think you've got
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Speaker 1: to have a huge retreat. And it was such a
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Speaker 1: beautiful trip to walk into that room this week. It
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Speaker 1: was held at the Marquis Hotel. And when I walked
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Speaker 1: into the room and I saw just hundreds and hundreds
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Speaker 1: and hundreds of people gathered, I saw this impactful, important programming.
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Speaker 1: It literally looked exactly like the vision I had two
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Speaker 1: years ago, down to the chairs, down to the carpet um.
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Speaker 1: It was so surreal and so beautiful and I'm just
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Speaker 1: so inspired by my brother. I'm so inspired by the
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Speaker 1: way that he shows up in service of the world,
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Speaker 1: by the way he uniquely shares and divinely shares his gifts,
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Speaker 1: his truth, his healing for the benefit of all of
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Speaker 1: his millions of people and his audience. And it was incredible.
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Speaker 1: There was powerful programming throughout the day, men, women, and children.
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Speaker 1: It was a full family event held in this gorgeous hotel.
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Speaker 1: There were breakout sessions, there was yoga, there was meditation,
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Speaker 1: there was self inquiry, there was therapy, there was an
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Speaker 1: awakening into such a multitude of healing modalities. And that
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Speaker 1: is what really personally inspires me. UM. This connecting to people,
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Speaker 1: connecting people to the healing work that is going to
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Speaker 1: set them free and whatever that healing work happens to be.
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Speaker 1: But creating the buffet to sample, to explore, to have
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Speaker 1: permission to heal, to be well, to be more. And
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Speaker 1: that's what this powerful event was. It was a sham
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Speaker 1: pack day, so many incredible psychologist, doctor's, mental health advocates, speakers, healers. UM. Wow.
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Speaker 1: So on this day, I did my podcast live and
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Speaker 1: I was really blessed with the ability to do this
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Speaker 1: podcast with author with spiritual psychologists Anita Copatch and Anita
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Speaker 1: is just a powerful force in the world and absolutely gorgeous.
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Speaker 1: You know, you meet those people that are just one
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Speaker 1: stunning on the outside, but you feel that internal glow
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Speaker 1: just seeping and dripping out of their pores um. That
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Speaker 1: is Anita. That is Anita. She is beautiful in the
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Speaker 1: deepest layers possible, and she has an incredible book out.
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Speaker 1: Many of you may have the book. If you don't,
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Speaker 1: highly recommend going out to get it. She is the
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Speaker 1: author of the Simon and Schuster fiction novel Shallow Waters.
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Speaker 1: It's the second title from Charlemagne's imprint Black Privilege Publishing,
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Speaker 1: and Anita is the former editor in chief of Heart
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Speaker 1: and Soul magazine. She's been doing incredible work for many years,
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Speaker 1: including being the very first and only secured cover of
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Speaker 1: Misty Copeland, who, of course is the first African American
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Speaker 1: lead at the a VT. She was also the managing
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Speaker 1: editor of Beauty Sense magazine and really blends beautifully, fashion,
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Speaker 1: beauty and healing altogether. Anita created the Zero F's Given
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Speaker 1: campaign to raise awareness and help victimize and disenfranchise populations
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Speaker 1: heal from sexual trauma find their voice and reclaim their power.
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Speaker 1: She's helped thousands of victims through her work with Zero
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Speaker 1: F's Given and being on the board for the Center
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Speaker 1: of Safety and Change. She's an award winning writer and
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Speaker 1: a spiritual psychologist with a passion to see people thrive
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Speaker 1: through leading retreats around the world, working with private clients,
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Speaker 1: and storytelling. Anita fulfills her intention to awaken the divine simplicity, pleasure,
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Speaker 1: and joy in her life and others. It was such
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Speaker 1: such a beautiful time connecting with her, and in this
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Speaker 1: conversation that I'm about to share with you, I do
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Speaker 1: want to let you know that we touched on some
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Speaker 1: things that could potentially be triggering um and so I
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Speaker 1: want you to follow your own heart on what you
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Speaker 1: are um able or desiring to connect to in this episode.
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Speaker 1: So some of the things that we touched on in
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Speaker 1: this conversation was one the healing journey, of course, but
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Speaker 1: two we did share quite a bit on the healing
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Speaker 1: journey for survivors of sexual trauma men and women who
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Speaker 1: have survived this and a need to really powerfully shared
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Speaker 1: some beautiful practice to help get back into your body,
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Speaker 1: and we talk about what that even means to be
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Speaker 1: out of one's body, to be in one's body. And
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Speaker 1: so I just want to let you know that upfront
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Speaker 1: before we go in, that we are diving into some
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Speaker 1: of that. We don't go super deep into the particulars
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Speaker 1: of sexual abuse, but that is something that we're talking
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Speaker 1: about in this conversation. So I just want you to
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Speaker 1: be aware, and if you do want to stay for
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Speaker 1: this conversation, I want you to just notice how you're
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Speaker 1: feeling when certain things come up, if this is resonating
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Speaker 1: with you, if this is bringing something forward, and really
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Speaker 1: start thinking of ways that you can powerfully support yourself
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Speaker 1: through this feeling, and if there's opportunities to reach out
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Speaker 1: to have a bigger conversation either with a professional or
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Speaker 1: someone in your life, UM that can aid you on
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Speaker 1: this part of the journey. So huge, huge, big love.
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Speaker 1: I am so happy to share this conversation with you.
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Speaker 1: This is a beautiful conversation between myself and author and
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Speaker 1: need a co patch. Author and healer and beautiful soul
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Speaker 1: and need a co patch at the Mental Wealth Expo,
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Speaker 1: the inaugural first annual Mental Wealth Expo in New York City.
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Speaker 1: So let's just take a moment before we get started.
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Speaker 1: I want to invite you to gently close your eye
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Speaker 1: is if that feels comfortable, eyes generally closed, body relaxed,
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Speaker 1: allow your shoulders to drop. Notice how you feel in
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Speaker 1: your seat in this moment. Maybe let your body melt
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Speaker 1: a little bit more deeply into where you're sitting. And
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Speaker 1: as your eyes are gently closed, let's take a big
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Speaker 1: deep inhale through our noses, really allowing that breath to
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Speaker 1: grow and our belly and move up to our lungs,
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Speaker 1: holding the breath in at the top. And now let's
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Speaker 1: exhale through our mouths with a sigh. And we'll do
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Speaker 1: this two more times together. Here, go ahead and begin
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Speaker 1: your inhale through your nose, holding it in at the
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Speaker 1: top and releasing with a sigh. And let's do that
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Speaker 1: one final time together, really allowing your heart, your lungs
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Speaker 1: to stretch open with that breath. Beginning our inhale now
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Speaker 1: through our nose and holding it and a big release. Okay,
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Speaker 1: now coming back into your bodies whenever you feel ready,
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Speaker 1: gently open your eyes. Now. Everybody was doing that breath
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Speaker 1: really cute. So when I said exhale through your out
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Speaker 1: everyone was like, but when you're at home, I want
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Speaker 1: you to practice that exact breath we just did, and
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Speaker 1: I want you to really allow yourselves to go that
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Speaker 1: big it's called a lion's breath. And a little bit
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Speaker 1: of the science behind what we're doing is when we
10:23
Speaker 1: intentionally are bringing in that vital life force energy and
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Speaker 1: through our bodies, we're letting it nurture our womb space.
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Speaker 1: So we're letting it fill our stomachs first, then move
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Speaker 1: up to our lungs, and as we sit in our lungs,
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Speaker 1: it's really about noticing how our body is able to
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Speaker 1: expand and create the space when we need it, when
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Speaker 1: we choose it. And then you allow the breath when
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Speaker 1: you hold it at the top to circulate through your
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Speaker 1: body and when you go which I hope you guys, Look,
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Speaker 1: you're really strongly releasing any energy that doesn't serve you.
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Speaker 1: So that's a really powerful breath that takes less than
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Speaker 1: fifteen seconds that you can do at any point in
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Speaker 1: your day. You can do it in between meetings on zoom,
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Speaker 1: you can do it as you wait for the train.
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Speaker 1: It is something that is a tool that can be
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Speaker 1: available to you in a very powerful way. Let's go
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Speaker 1: ahead and get started. So my name is Debbie Brown.
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Speaker 1: I am the thank you. I feel so blessed and
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Speaker 1: honored to be here. And um, because I see my
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Speaker 1: brother right here, and I know you guys will see
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Speaker 1: him a lot through the day. I just want to
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Speaker 1: tell you how much I love you, how grateful I
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Speaker 1: am for your life, how grateful I am for the
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Speaker 1: way that you show up in the world, in the community,
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Speaker 1: for this event, the way that you have grown and
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Speaker 1: transformed your life and your family lineage and intentionally created
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Speaker 1: powerful moments like this for all of us to experience
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Speaker 1: the same. I love you, I respect you, I honor you.
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Speaker 1: I'm grateful for you, so grateful. So I have a
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Speaker 1: podcast called Dropping Gems, and on that show, I like
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Speaker 1: to explore making higher consciousness tangible for everyday life. And
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Speaker 1: so this is our live broadcast of that show. And
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Speaker 1: I feel so honored and excited to have this gem
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Speaker 1: of a woman, this incredible woman, Anita co Patch, author
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Speaker 1: of Shallow Waters, here on the show today, here at
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Speaker 1: this beautiful event. Oh Anita, Wow. I just have to
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Speaker 1: say something really quick. I had um texted Charlemagne when
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Speaker 1: the book came out and I was like, listen, Um,
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Speaker 1: I want Debby and Oprah to interview me. So I'm
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Speaker 1: living in a dream come true right now. I just
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Speaker 1: wanted you to know that I like, I like being
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Speaker 1: in that thought with Oprah. Now, okay, So first, I mean,
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Speaker 1: there's so much that I want to dive into with you,
13:21
Speaker 1: because something that I find so powerful about your work
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Speaker 1: is the way that you allow myth to be felt
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Speaker 1: in our lives. And you know, in this book, and
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Speaker 1: you're really exploring ancient lineage worry in this book at
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Speaker 1: the deepest level, but you're making it applicable. You know,
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Speaker 1: the the star of your book is a God, and
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Speaker 1: you were showing how a God found themselves. And the
13:48
Speaker 1: way that I related to that, it's like that is
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Speaker 1: each of us, each of us are divinity, each of
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Speaker 1: us are divine light, each of us have God residing
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Speaker 1: so fully inside of us. And it is about the
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Speaker 1: awakening to that godliness within us, awakening to our sacredness.
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Speaker 1: And it's just so gorgeously shared in this book. And
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Speaker 1: how did you how did you come to find that
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Speaker 1: ability to storytell, that ability to really root in the
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Speaker 1: ancient teachings and make it so relevant. How did this
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Speaker 1: come to you? Yeah? I love that question. Thank you
14:22
Speaker 1: so much. So I for me, I believe that black women,
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Speaker 1: black women are God and that um, so for me,
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Speaker 1: this is a love letter to us and helping us
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Speaker 1: remember our divinity. And for for yem a Ya who
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Speaker 1: or yemo Ja, she is a Yoruba goddess or more
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Speaker 1: of like a spirit from the pantheon of gods from
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Speaker 1: the Yoruba people in Nigeria. Yes, and so what I
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Speaker 1: did was I imagined her uh when she was seventeen
15:02
Speaker 1: and it takes place in the eighteen hundreds. So it's
15:06
Speaker 1: about her finding herself and her own powers and all
15:11
Speaker 1: of those type of things while she's journeying during a
15:15
Speaker 1: time when she's she's experiencing chattel slavery, she's experiencing the
15:20
Speaker 1: Middle Passage. And there are also um historical figures throughout there.
15:27
Speaker 1: We have Harriet Tubman, who's Moses in here. And it's
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Speaker 1: just a really powerful story of helping a tool to
15:35
Speaker 1: help us remember who we are. And I call it
15:39
Speaker 1: like ritual storytelling and medicinal storytelling. So it's while you're
15:46
Speaker 1: reading the words, I put so many intentions in it,
15:51
Speaker 1: so we're reading it on one level of consciousness, but
15:55
Speaker 1: there are so many other things that were put into it,
15:58
Speaker 1: so you might start have in your own downloads while
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Speaker 1: you're reading and opening different things within your mind and
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Speaker 1: your spirit and like, oh shoot, I am God, right,
16:09
Speaker 1: I am this goddess. And so that's it's like a key.
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Speaker 1: And I'm so grateful that Charlemagne saw this key and
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Speaker 1: UM had to be the first fiction release on his imprint,
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Speaker 1: Black Privilege Publishing. Wow, wow, wow wow, you know speaking
16:35
Speaker 1: of you know, really sitting in those tools for awakening.
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Speaker 1: You know, I think so many of us we always
16:44
Speaker 1: know there's more, right, even if our circumstance doesn't allow
16:47
Speaker 1: for us to tap into it. Um, even if experiences
16:51
Speaker 1: in life have potentially made us feel unworthy of it,
16:54
Speaker 1: we always know that there's something more, that there is
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Speaker 1: a bigger calling at play than what we do for
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Speaker 1: a living, how we show up for our families, right,
17:04
Speaker 1: how our friends know us. There's more, there's more, there's
17:07
Speaker 1: more to us when we think about ways to tap
17:12
Speaker 1: into and start to experience that, you know, awakening, being
17:16
Speaker 1: an awakened woman in this time, it's about self sovereignty.
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Speaker 1: It's about knowing your power, living your power, using your power,
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Speaker 1: and for any that that is starting to resonate with
17:30
Speaker 1: right now, Like if that's really pinging, Like, yes, there
17:32
Speaker 1: is a deep power in me that I am ready
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Speaker 1: to share with the world, share with my own self.
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Speaker 1: What are some pathways to start to do that? I
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Speaker 1: love this. So as you were saying that, I was
17:46
Speaker 1: actually thinking of the word black privilege and what that
17:50
Speaker 1: means to me, and what that means our privilege as
17:55
Speaker 1: black people for me is that we are connected to God.
17:58
Speaker 1: We are connected to the divine. We don't just hear
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Speaker 1: me out for a second. We don't have to go
18:06
Speaker 1: through all of these different avenues to hear the voice
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Speaker 1: of God. A lot of times the voice of God
18:11
Speaker 1: comes through and we're like, oh, shoot, am I going crazy?
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Speaker 1: What am I hearing? You know? My aunt is having
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Speaker 1: dreams about you know that that come true the next day.
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Speaker 1: And so for us, it's almost like going from the
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Speaker 1: end to the beginning. So we are these ancient beings,
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Speaker 1: we are God's and as the voices come through, it's us, Oh, okay,
18:39
Speaker 1: let me slow down and quiet myself so that I
18:44
Speaker 1: can really hear what these voices are saying and understanding
18:48
Speaker 1: what the different voices in our heads are sometimes we
18:52
Speaker 1: have voices that are from our childhood that are like
18:55
Speaker 1: a record playing right, like you're not good enough, you're
18:59
Speaker 1: too ugly, like those type of things. And the thing
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Speaker 1: is is that you could stop those voices because you
19:04
Speaker 1: can when you start hearing it, you could say, oh,
19:07
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I don't believe that about myself anymore,
19:12
Speaker 1: and you could stop that voice, right. So it's it's
19:15
Speaker 1: about hearing what those different voices are, and so we
19:19
Speaker 1: can use meditation to quiet down. For us as people
19:24
Speaker 1: of color, it's really good to do moving meditation. So
19:28
Speaker 1: if you want to walk and listen to your music,
19:31
Speaker 1: or if you want to dance, you know, like I was,
19:34
Speaker 1: I was feeling the music when we were walking up.
19:37
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, it's the music off. But like,
19:40
Speaker 1: just just doing those type of things to be able
19:43
Speaker 1: to quiet our mind so that we can feel and
19:48
Speaker 1: hear the gems that are coming through because they're there,
19:52
Speaker 1: they're they're already. That is our black privilege. So what
20:07
Speaker 1: I was really pulling from from some of what you
20:10
Speaker 1: were saying is like really creating the remembrance of the
20:13
Speaker 1: depth of our intuition. And I think that that is
20:16
Speaker 1: one of the first things if I were in church
20:19
Speaker 1: right now, would be like the enemy robs us of
20:21
Speaker 1: our intuition. But also sometimes our families do also, sometimes
20:27
Speaker 1: the people in our lives do write our intuition is
20:30
Speaker 1: our internal GPS system. That's the piece of us that
20:33
Speaker 1: always attunes us to God, that always attunes us to
20:36
Speaker 1: our higher calling. And if you have been in a
20:39
Speaker 1: system or a family structure where you weren't allowed to
20:43
Speaker 1: be you, or you weren't allowed to have a different opinion,
20:46
Speaker 1: or you were under maybe a feeling of someone that
20:51
Speaker 1: was deeply trying to control themselves so they felt they
20:54
Speaker 1: had to control you too, the nature of that is
20:58
Speaker 1: that it disconnects you from being a will to trust,
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Speaker 1: your own internal compass, your own voice, speak on it.
21:04
Speaker 1: And sometimes it happens that right. Sometimes it happens in
21:08
Speaker 1: such tiny, insidious, over time ways, then we don't recognize it.
21:13
Speaker 1: And so when we think of trauma, or we think
21:15
Speaker 1: of the barriers we have to our healing, sometimes you're
21:19
Speaker 1: walking through this world and you're saying, well, I wasn't abused,
21:23
Speaker 1: so why do I still feel this way about myself? Well,
21:26
Speaker 1: it wasn't as bad as I saw here, So clearly
21:29
Speaker 1: I'm not that far off. There's no hierarchy to pain.
21:34
Speaker 1: There's no hierarchy. To say it again and again, there
21:39
Speaker 1: is no and I will say this again, actually there
21:42
Speaker 1: is no no, there's no hierarchy to pain. And so
21:47
Speaker 1: I think one of the biggest tools that we have
21:50
Speaker 1: for ourselves and redistributing and reconnecting to our intuition is
21:54
Speaker 1: really understanding that we don't have to compare our journey
21:58
Speaker 1: to anything to anyone one. There's no better, there's no worse.
22:02
Speaker 1: It's our individual process. But then noticing and what you
22:07
Speaker 1: were saying in that real time noticing and acknowledgement, like
22:11
Speaker 1: mastery is found in the tiny details of the every
22:15
Speaker 1: day when you're noticing your body, when you're having a
22:18
Speaker 1: feeling and you just stop. That's it. Stop pause. That's
22:28
Speaker 1: about five seven seconds that I did just there, right,
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Speaker 1: just stop. M okay, how can I use this information?
22:45
Speaker 1: How can I use this moment? All that we just
22:48
Speaker 1: did under thirty seconds, that's available to each of us
22:52
Speaker 1: and each day. But what we really get robbed of
22:54
Speaker 1: when we experience pain, when we experience disappointment, or when
22:58
Speaker 1: we're just not in remember rents of ourselves. We don't
23:02
Speaker 1: even give ourselves twenty seconds right, twenty seconds. You'll scroll
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Speaker 1: Instagram for two hours and not know how you got
23:10
Speaker 1: where you got right, But twenties set facts, twenty seconds.
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Speaker 1: You know, those are small ways that we can start
23:19
Speaker 1: to rebuild that pathway to knowing ourselves. Something I'm really
23:26
Speaker 1: excited to talk to you about. And I do want
23:28
Speaker 1: to warn everyone in the audience that a piece of
23:32
Speaker 1: the conversation we're about to go into can bring some
23:36
Speaker 1: stuff up, and so I just want to ask that
23:39
Speaker 1: just trust us, stay with us, and if anything comes
23:44
Speaker 1: up in your body for where this conversation is headed,
23:47
Speaker 1: just notice it. Just notice it and know that in
23:50
Speaker 1: this moment you are safe. Yes, some of the powerful
23:55
Speaker 1: work that you do in NITA is really around the
23:58
Speaker 1: space of helping people heal who have experienced sexual trauma
24:04
Speaker 1: and sexual abuses. And as a baseline, I really want
24:07
Speaker 1: to anchor this conversation and that sexual abuse and sexual
24:12
Speaker 1: trauma is but it is not just rape and molestation.
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Speaker 1: It's also experiences that I mean, there's lists and lists
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Speaker 1: of things that that can entail, but it's also some
24:25
Speaker 1: things that you don't think about, like when you had
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Speaker 1: sex with someone and you didn't feel like it, but
24:30
Speaker 1: you felt pushed into it, or if someone was touching
24:33
Speaker 1: you or looking at you in certain ways or implying
24:36
Speaker 1: certain things. So one of the things that happens when
24:41
Speaker 1: those experiences happen is we get yanked out of our bodies.
24:45
Speaker 1: If you had experiences at a young age, more than
24:49
Speaker 1: likely you may have missed an opportunity to get to
24:53
Speaker 1: know yourself inside of your body and have a healthy
24:56
Speaker 1: relationship with your body. So for those on a journey
25:00
Speaker 1: of the reclamation of self, men and women, for those
25:04
Speaker 1: on the journey of reclaiming their intuition, their bodies, their souls,
25:09
Speaker 1: what are some ways to get started? So, um, this
25:14
Speaker 1: is this is my passion because when I was seven
25:17
Speaker 1: years old, I was molested by a family member. And
25:22
Speaker 1: what has been really amazing on the journey. I created
25:29
Speaker 1: this called Zero f S Given. It's my nonprofit that
25:35
Speaker 1: we basically help people of color who have experienced any
25:39
Speaker 1: form of sexual trauma. And it actually represents zero F's.
25:45
Speaker 1: So it's a day on eleven eleven of a day
25:49
Speaker 1: of sexual abstinence. So zero F's Given literally and the
25:55
Speaker 1: money goes to programs to help people of color because
25:59
Speaker 1: on my journey me of healing through you know, I
26:03
Speaker 1: had many therapists, healers retreats, I was surrounded by all
26:08
Speaker 1: white folks, and I'm like, okay, what is happening here?
26:14
Speaker 1: And so I was like, we need to create something
26:17
Speaker 1: that's for us. And the numbers are staggering. One in
26:22
Speaker 1: three women are sexually abused and one in six men
26:29
Speaker 1: before the age of eighteen and so, and that's reported.
26:34
Speaker 1: I never reported mine, you know, when I was younger,
26:37
Speaker 1: I didn't I couldn't talk about it until I was
26:39
Speaker 1: in my twenties. And so it's something that's so prevalent
26:45
Speaker 1: in our community. And so basically what I wanted to
26:50
Speaker 1: do was normalized the healing process of it. Try to
26:55
Speaker 1: say it, because before I would be like, okay, I'm
26:58
Speaker 1: I'm fucking scared to say that, because now there's this
27:00
Speaker 1: many more people that know what happened to my little
27:04
Speaker 1: seven year old self inside of me right like like
27:08
Speaker 1: oh shit, you know, and I was carrying, Oh, I
27:12
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm allowed to cuss, come on. So
27:22
Speaker 1: I just I just was like, I want this feeling
27:27
Speaker 1: of being able to talk about it, being able to
27:29
Speaker 1: share about it, to be normalized because I know that
27:33
Speaker 1: Deviie was just talking about like some people can walk
27:36
Speaker 1: around and feel like, wait a minute, I wasn't molested,
27:39
Speaker 1: I wasn't raped. Why do I have these feelings as
27:42
Speaker 1: if I was. That's because your mom was or your
27:46
Speaker 1: grandmother was, and it is in your system. It is
27:50
Speaker 1: passed down. And I know that Charlemagne has has posted
27:54
Speaker 1: things about Okay, if trauma can be passed down, so
27:57
Speaker 1: can healing. And I am not trying to have my
28:00
Speaker 1: daughter's feel what I felt and gone through. So I'm here,
28:05
Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm this is where it stops. And you know,
28:08
Speaker 1: in in my family and in many family lines, there's incest.
28:13
Speaker 1: There will be uncles, which you know there there will
28:15
Speaker 1: be uncles, cousins, whatever it is that's happening. And we
28:18
Speaker 1: just need to stand up and say, listen, this stops
28:23
Speaker 1: with me here. There's way too many of us and
28:28
Speaker 1: so and I know that it can be a triggering conversation,
28:31
Speaker 1: but listen, we black folks in America, what is not triggering?
28:35
Speaker 1: What is not triggering? Right? The fact that we're sitting
28:40
Speaker 1: inside of a hotel that we got to walk through
28:43
Speaker 1: the front door. We could choose to be triggered if
28:46
Speaker 1: we wanted to. But okay, sorry, let me not go there.
28:51
Speaker 1: That's a whole another summer now. So there are so
28:58
Speaker 1: many tools we can use, Like, if you're beginning to
29:02
Speaker 1: feel tight in your chest right now doing the breathing
29:06
Speaker 1: exercises that Devy just gave us before the end of it,
29:10
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you all a Tontra exercise to
29:13
Speaker 1: go home with. Um. Tantra is the study. I know
29:17
Speaker 1: everyone's always like, oh, it's you know, it'sn't its sexual positions.
29:21
Speaker 1: It's not just that. It is the balance of the
29:24
Speaker 1: divine masculine and the divine feminine energies within ourselves. And
29:32
Speaker 1: so working on those because a lot of times when
29:36
Speaker 1: you do leave your body, when a trauma has happened,
29:40
Speaker 1: you have to bring in the tools to call your
29:43
Speaker 1: power back, to call your pleasure back. I was scared
29:48
Speaker 1: of pleasure. I was scared of pleasure. I had I
29:52
Speaker 1: had three kids, and I was still scared of pleasure.
29:56
Speaker 1: I'm like, it looks like everyone's having fun having sex
29:58
Speaker 1: out there except for me. What's happening? And so because
30:03
Speaker 1: I would go into I would I would go into
30:07
Speaker 1: a flashback as soon as me and my partner would
30:10
Speaker 1: begin to move into that energy, and so I was like, Okay,
30:14
Speaker 1: I have to heal this, and so going on that
30:18
Speaker 1: journey of healing. There are so many practitioners in so
30:21
Speaker 1: many ways of healing now out there, and I'm going
30:25
Speaker 1: to give you an amazing tool before we're done. Thank you.
30:31
Speaker 1: How many are familiar with the term being out of
30:34
Speaker 1: your body coming into your body? Okay, So for those
30:39
Speaker 1: that are not fully clear on that, I want to
30:41
Speaker 1: give you a couple examples of how that's felt. And
30:44
Speaker 1: this is just a few examples, and please share from
30:47
Speaker 1: your expertise. So, sometimes what it feels like when you're
30:51
Speaker 1: not inside of your body is a generalized feeling of
30:56
Speaker 1: discomfort or annoyance being yourself, a frustration being you. Do
31:05
Speaker 1: you feel what I mean when I say that, you know?
31:07
Speaker 1: And against nous of self, like I just can't do
31:11
Speaker 1: anything right. Oh, I keep messing this up. I'm awkward,
31:14
Speaker 1: I'm moving awkwardly. That's one of the ways it can
31:17
Speaker 1: experience when you're not in alignment within yourself and your body.
31:21
Speaker 1: Another way could be actually rejecting your body or rejecting
31:25
Speaker 1: touch of any kind, even a kindness like a hug,
31:29
Speaker 1: someone leaning over to put their hand on top of
31:32
Speaker 1: yours could feel uncomfortable and you don't know why. It
31:36
Speaker 1: could feel scary, you know, receiving kindness, a kind word
31:41
Speaker 1: from someone. You know, if I were to look you
31:43
Speaker 1: in your eyes and say this, you're beautiful, and if
31:47
Speaker 1: that were to make you be okay, you know that
31:52
Speaker 1: that kind of those little discomforts are ways those those
31:57
Speaker 1: small anxieties where we're just feeling what can it be
32:01
Speaker 1: experienced as a charge, like you don't know what that
32:04
Speaker 1: feeling is or what that emotion is, but something is present.
32:09
Speaker 1: So those are ways to start exploring that conversation. There
32:12
Speaker 1: is no right or wrong, and there's no judgment if
32:14
Speaker 1: you feel it now or you've felt it before. But awareness,
32:18
Speaker 1: awareness about ourselves is how we transform, having an awareness
32:24
Speaker 1: about where there is opportunity to expand, to grow, to enhance.
32:29
Speaker 1: And so Jess I wanted to add that in because
32:32
Speaker 1: on this journey, it's so important that even when we're
32:35
Speaker 1: in rooms like this, we might not make that step
32:38
Speaker 1: for us because there is this underlying feeling that we
32:41
Speaker 1: don't actually deserve it, or we're not actually worthy of it,
32:46
Speaker 1: or the things that happened to us. Well, it's just
32:50
Speaker 1: too unspeakable, so I'm not even going to attempt it.
32:53
Speaker 1: But there are tools, there are resources, and there's more
32:57
Speaker 1: than we can name a list here with the limited
32:59
Speaker 1: time we have left. But if any of this is
33:01
Speaker 1: resonating with anyone, I really want to invite you start searching,
33:06
Speaker 1: Start looking up online, Think of the thing that you're
33:10
Speaker 1: working with inside, Type it into Google and see what
33:13
Speaker 1: comes up. Because one thing you'll instantly notice is that
33:16
Speaker 1: you're not alone in any of it. And the second
33:19
Speaker 1: thing you'll notice is that there is a multitude of
33:23
Speaker 1: options of ways that you can heal that. Whether it's
33:27
Speaker 1: cognitive therapy, whether it's somatic therapy, whether it's energy healing,
33:32
Speaker 1: whether it's a holistic approach, integrated medical approach. All the
33:37
Speaker 1: things I listed don't even scratch the surface of what's
33:40
Speaker 1: available to us right now. So I just want to
33:42
Speaker 1: offer that, spend some time with that tonight, start doing
33:46
Speaker 1: some searching. Set the intention. I use God, but if
33:51
Speaker 1: you have another belief system, whatever that higher sources, set
33:54
Speaker 1: the intention and say I'm ready to be all of me.
34:00
Speaker 1: Show me how, show me the people, show me the places,
34:06
Speaker 1: my intention is to heal God. Let me do it
34:09
Speaker 1: with ease, let me do it with grace, Show me
34:12
Speaker 1: where to go, show me what to do a man girl. Yeah,
34:20
Speaker 1: I love that, Thank you so much. And I think
34:24
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing of us remembering who we are is
34:28
Speaker 1: going back into our lineage of where we are. So
34:32
Speaker 1: many of us are sons and daughters of the diaspora,
34:36
Speaker 1: so we've been cut off from our mother tongue, we've
34:39
Speaker 1: been cut off from our practices, from Mother Africa. And
34:43
Speaker 1: if we connect back into that with our intuition, that's
34:47
Speaker 1: another way for us to remember who we are. Absolutely,
34:53
Speaker 1: I know, before before we're finished, I want to I
34:55
Speaker 1: want to give the tool at leave the tool. Okay,
34:59
Speaker 1: So this is a Tontra tool and I'm gonna have
35:02
Speaker 1: everyone stand up. It's called the Yes breath, and we
35:08
Speaker 1: use this breath. It's an activating breath. So if you're
35:13
Speaker 1: going in for an interview or if you need, you know,
35:17
Speaker 1: energy to go somewhere, if you're feeling like you you
35:19
Speaker 1: don't have enough energy within you, so this will activate
35:23
Speaker 1: your own energy source, which Debbie was talking about, you know,
35:27
Speaker 1: your power source right here. So, um, what we're gonna do.
35:32
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put the mic down because I'm from not
35:34
Speaker 1: gonna need it. Yeah maybe as I'm yes, and then
35:41
Speaker 1: when I start yelling, I won't need it, all right.
35:46
Speaker 1: So everyone's gonna put their hands up. And if you
35:50
Speaker 1: wrote an intention on the wall, or if you have
35:53
Speaker 1: a new intention that you have in your mind, imagine
35:56
Speaker 1: that it's just above you on the ceiling, right, and
36:00
Speaker 1: you're gonna pull it down with your energy, and you're
36:03
Speaker 1: going to slightly hit the sides of you with like
36:07
Speaker 1: a drum, right. And then if you are on your moon,
36:11
Speaker 1: just do it a little bit more lightly. Moon is
36:14
Speaker 1: your cycle um for women. And and so we're gonna
36:19
Speaker 1: do this, and you're gonna yell yes right, and we're
36:22
Speaker 1: gonna keep going, and even if you feel like you
36:24
Speaker 1: can't go anymore, keep going, all right, for our ancestors,
36:30
Speaker 1: for the people who did so much ship so that
36:32
Speaker 1: we could be here right now, all right ready, yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
36:51
Speaker 1: yeah yeah yeah yes yea yea yea yeah yeah yeah
37:13
Speaker 1: yeah yeah yeah. Feel that energy, Feel that energy. Keep
37:28
Speaker 1: your hands up. Feel that energy that you just created
37:33
Speaker 1: in your body. That's your energy, that's your energy to
37:38
Speaker 1: create whatever it is that you came here to activate.
37:43
Speaker 1: Use that ship. Oh wow, wow wow wow wow, thank you,
38:02
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. H So that's your homework three
38:12
Speaker 1: times a day and oh my god. Okay, as we
38:21
Speaker 1: get ready to welcome on the next participants for today, Uh,
38:27
Speaker 1: what we just did that moment? Raise your hand if
38:30
Speaker 1: you really felt something shift, if that felt good? Yeah,
38:37
Speaker 1: that's available to you all the time. There are places
38:43
Speaker 1: you can go. There are videos you can watch on
38:46
Speaker 1: YouTube that will connect you to tools like this regularly.
38:52
Speaker 1: There are places to go to feel that, to fill
38:56
Speaker 1: that void that maybe we've been using other things to
39:00
Speaker 1: feel like men, women, clothes, job titles, Instagram. Right, all
39:06
Speaker 1: of those deep connections to the things outside of us
39:10
Speaker 1: are really because we're seeking a practice like that, we're
39:14
Speaker 1: seeking to release, we're seeking to know and there's not
39:18
Speaker 1: a judgment around that. But just start to notice. Start
39:21
Speaker 1: to notice when you're going for things that you're like,
39:24
Speaker 1: do I really need that? Do I really want to
39:26
Speaker 1: do that? Ask what is the deeper need? What really
39:31
Speaker 1: wants to be known? What wants to be touched, what
39:34
Speaker 1: wants to be healed, what wants to be held? What
39:37
Speaker 1: wants to be contra sized. Alright, Anita, thank you. I'm
39:45
Speaker 1: so grateful for you you, thank you, shallow water and
39:52
Speaker 1: shallow Waters. So actually I already sold out to the books.
39:55
Speaker 1: This is the last one, but you can you can
40:01
Speaker 1: buy them online and if you want, I actually have
40:04
Speaker 1: a pad of paper. If you are going to buy
40:06
Speaker 1: it online, I could sign the paper and you can
40:08
Speaker 1: stick it into the book. I don't know. I like
40:13
Speaker 1: that option. I think that's good. So grateful, have an
40:16
Speaker 1: amazing day, Please choose yourself and every moment. Thank you.
40:25
Speaker 1: All right, Uh, what a beautiful episode, So so grateful
40:31
Speaker 1: for that time spent in New York. It was such
40:33
Speaker 1: a powerful day. I know you'll be able to check
40:35
Speaker 1: out more of this programming, but truly, I mean, there
40:37
Speaker 1: were some amazing people there. I want to shout out
40:40
Speaker 1: to my sister Shantidas, who was in the room, who
40:43
Speaker 1: was on the stage holding beautiful space. She's been an advocate,
40:47
Speaker 1: especially in the entertainment industry for so long. I want
40:50
Speaker 1: to shout out the incomparable, the incredible Queen of Flua,
40:54
Speaker 1: who is there. And Queen and I had a chance
40:57
Speaker 1: to really offline and conn act really deeply. So I'll
41:01
Speaker 1: be sharing more about that soon, such a powerful soul,
41:04
Speaker 1: so grateful for her life. Also, my sister Angela Rye
41:07
Speaker 1: had a powerful conversation Dr Mary alp Luque, Dr Rita Walker,
41:12
Speaker 1: Dr Alfie Brelan, Noble Resma Minnican, Um Ryan Mundy, Jason Wilson,
41:19
Speaker 1: Yadi Alba. So many more shared beautiful, powerful gifts that day.
41:24
Speaker 1: So big love to everyone that was there. You guys
41:27
Speaker 1: can connect to all of this on iHeart Radio. I
41:30
Speaker 1: think all the footage is there so you'll be able
41:31
Speaker 1: to check it out. And massive, huge love to my
41:34
Speaker 1: brother Leonard Charlotte Mene the God. I am so inspired
41:38
Speaker 1: by you. I am so proud. I'm so grateful for
41:40
Speaker 1: your life, my brother. Big love everyone, Thank you, not mystics.
41:45
Speaker 1: Hey find me on social Let's connect at Debbie Brown.
41:49
Speaker 1: That's Twitter and Instagram, or go to my website Debbie
41:52
Speaker 1: Brown dot com. And if you're listening to the show
41:55
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts, please please please don't forget to rate,
42:01
Speaker 1: review and subscribe and send this episode to a friend.
42:06
Speaker 1: Dropping Jams is the production of I Heart Radio and
42:09
Speaker 1: The Black Effect Network. It's produced by Jack Quees and
42:12
Speaker 1: me Debbie Brown. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
42:15
Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever
42:19
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.