Latest / The Multiverse Collective / Final Hope E17: Oops, All Fish!

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Final Hope E17: Oops, All Fish! · The Multiverse Collective

0:00
I'm just hoping I want you all to know this these this session
0:06
is like 4 parts duct taped together with a hope and a
0:11
prayer. Because you lost your shit.
0:14
Yeah, I was so, so upset last night.
0:17
I was like, just just before I go to bed, I'll double check
0:20
I've got everything ready. And then I opened it and it was
0:23
just an empty document and I was.
0:25
Like where did it go? I don't know, it's so weird.
0:29
It's OK, we got through last week.
0:30
We'll get through this. I'm sure one of you's will throw
0:33
me a curveball like I've read, right?
0:35
A curveball anyway. Yeah.
0:38
When do we not throw each other curveballs?
0:40
That is very true I. Think we just live with torment
0:43
each other? Yeah, exactly.
0:46
Yeah, Captain's log start date. Who knows?
0:55
We we got off the mushroom planet somehow.
0:59
I'm not entirely sure how Spencer and I combined our
1:05
resorts, though. That was pretty cool.
1:10
Max wasn't super helpful, that I remember.
1:14
I don't remember a lot about what happened on the planet,
1:18
actually. Maybe somebody else does, I'm
1:22
not sure. We return to the PERD moments
1:52
after Max and Spencer have had the moment.
1:55
Spencer told Max that she was sick and tired of people making
1:59
changes to her that she didn't decide on, and Mattress sort of
2:03
gave her a cuddle to make sure she was OK.
2:06
Oh. Yeah, I did do that.
2:10
God so much shit happened at the end of that episode I totally
2:12
forgot about. Yeah, it's been really emotional
2:14
minute. It's been two months, fully two
2:19
months. Fully two months, but yeah, but
2:23
what, what are you guys going to do now?
2:25
You're going to, but go how long?
2:28
How? Long is our trip.
2:30
Like do we have a course set and are we like on the way?
2:33
No, you literally just woke up. You didn't.
2:34
You didn't even. You don't remember leaving the
2:37
name of the planet that I can't remember the name of?
2:41
Shroom, Planet, the mushroom, it doesn't matter.
2:43
It's gone. Shroom City.
2:45
Baby is still there. Why?
2:49
We've really. Fucked up because because you
2:52
just killed the disease, you didn't kill the planet.
2:56
Fuck. Debatable.
2:59
I mean. Shit, guys, we got to go back.
3:01
We're going scorched earth. But yeah, it was the, it was
3:05
the, it was the, the mushroom planet.
3:09
So, yeah, you're free to choose whatever you want to do.
3:12
Now Murphy, if you look at the scroll that Asmodeus gave you,
3:18
you'll notice that that planet is now like swiped.
3:22
Off. Well, one down I guess.
3:24
When you're just hoping whatever we were looking for wasn't there
3:27
because it's gone now. I'm not going back.
3:31
Yeah. So what are you going to do?
3:32
I'm going to let you guys decide what we're going to do for a.
3:34
Bit are you guys like out or are you?
3:37
I think Spencer is in her bathroom admiring her brand new
3:42
like mycelium network shaped scar that's just like covering
3:48
the entire like right side of her torso now.
3:51
It's sick as fuck. She's feeling some type of way
3:54
about it, but it is objectively sick as fuck.
3:59
I think Max, realizing that we have had Internet this whole
4:03
time, is looking up to see if he can find like.
4:10
Good porn. I don't know.
4:12
No, no, like a like a space Walgreens or like a space CBS to
4:18
like to get some space Prozac so that the like mycelium effects
4:24
are not completely debilitating because Max is a wheel adult,
4:29
guys, he's changed. He's matured.
4:35
Also, I, I don't think we ever mentioned, I think you do have,
4:39
like I think on the picture that I gave you, you do have Sarah's
4:43
number. It's like a 30.
4:47
It's a 30, yeah. 32 digit space phone.
4:50
Number The thing is as well is me and Rye.
4:54
Me and Rye decided that it was 32 digits when we did the the T
4:58
in a pocket episode. We did.
5:01
That was incredibly stupid of us.
5:02
It still hasn't been released and I don't know what it will
5:04
ever will be. I don't think that should see
5:07
the light of Bay. What we did was.
5:12
Horrific it. Was horrific, yes.
5:16
I said some things I regret. I said a lot of things that I
5:19
also regret. It's just you and I can't record
5:23
pocket episodes ever again. We need a witness for the next
5:29
one. Yeah, we just unsupervised.
5:34
HR problem HR is. Just Meadow, yeah.
5:50
I think actually I think Max is going to call Sarah and if he
5:56
can. Oh wait, hold on, this means
5:58
Niall's going to have to do the Sarah voice.
6:02
No, I promise it's a quick call. Hey baby, I love you.
6:09
OK, go, go quick. Hey Max, I've got sick.
6:15
Can I remember the Sarah voice? That's a real question.
6:18
Regina But I feel like it's just your voice, but slightly higher.
6:22
Yeah, baby, let's go. Let's send it.
6:27
All right, hey Sarah, it's Max. I just wanted to give you a call
6:32
because I realized this whole time that we've had phone
6:35
service and I could have done this like 2 weeks ago, but fuck
6:39
me I guess. I just wanted to say thank you
6:42
for the letter. I appreciate it.
6:44
It really helped ground it re grounded me.
6:47
It helped. It helped.
6:51
I'll. I'll see you soon.
6:53
Question mark. I don't know things.
6:56
Hopefully. I I I I I don't really know how
7:02
to end this. I'm sorry.
7:04
Bye. I'd just like to go imagine.
7:07
Sarah was literally just sat looking at the phone for the
7:09
whole time, just waiting to talk then.
7:12
He just. Said he doesn't even let her say
7:16
hi, he just. Voicemail and I think Max Max
7:29
just like flops down and it's just like, fuck, are we at the
7:33
point where I can say I love you to her?
7:34
Like what? God?
7:37
Damn, that's for you to decide my friend.
7:39
You say it when? You're ready.
7:40
He sends a. He sends a thumbs up emoji.
7:47
Jesus Christ. And then he says, what are we?
7:51
No and. Then and then he tries to like
7:54
unsend it. Get off the phone.
7:59
Max, your messages are coming through on the main screen, no?
8:05
And that's when Spencer leaves her room.
8:08
She's just furiously powering on Max's door.
8:11
Stop now, I think. I think he says he says he says
8:19
I love you and then oops sorry meant to send that to my mom
8:22
lol. Unless dot dot dot.
8:27
Just kidding. Oh God.
8:33
Oh no, and then he throws his phone across the room and walks
8:38
out. I'm not looking at that thing
8:40
for like 3 hours. One of y'all have one of you
8:43
guys has to Spencer, I need you to do damage control.
8:46
Maxi realize the number the number you texted from is from
8:49
the ship right? So, like, we all get it.
8:51
Spencer. I'm going to need.
8:53
To do some damage control. It's bad I.
8:55
Don't think there's any coming back from that fuck you said
9:00
lol. I got.
9:03
Nervous I I used lol because I wanted I wanted it to seem like
9:09
it wasn't a serious thing. Wait, doesn't lol mean lots of
9:12
love? No, Murph, it doesn't mean I
9:14
want that it. We'll talk about that later,
9:17
Max. And then the unless the dot dot
9:20
dot. It's, it's a joke, isn't it?
9:23
Isn't that like a meme? Like how funny.
9:25
Like a isn't, isn't that like, aren't the kids like doing that
9:28
these days? No, they're doing 6-7 Max.
9:32
This is something totally different.
9:34
What does that? Mean it.
9:36
Doesn't mean anything. It's provocative.
9:38
It gets some people going. Dang it.
9:41
I I feel like that's just 69 without effort.
9:43
Wait Spencer wait go going back when my grandpa died my grandpa
9:48
texted me that Papa died lol. What does that mean if it not
9:51
lots of? Love, does your grandpa have
9:53
like a lot of pineapples in their house?
9:56
What pineapple with you? It's simple yes or no question.
10:00
Where? Where?
10:01
I mean, she likes pina coladas. So yeah, she's got pineapples
10:05
around and she makes smoothies. She makes them for me without
10:08
alcohol sometimes. They're really good.
10:09
Sometimes I got to meet your grandma, man Shit.
10:16
New pocket episode. Spencer, it's Grandpa.
10:20
Who's definitely not a swinger. Don't even worry about it.
10:24
Those pineapples are snowy. 'S grandma and Max's mom are
10:27
like, I bet they're like in the same friends.
10:31
Yeah, the same in the same like they go to the same church.
10:35
Oh, that's not a church. My friend 's.
10:46
Anyways, moving on from that disaster.
10:49
Murphy, now that you're back and you're like the what do you?
10:53
Mean back and where'd I go? You.
10:55
You left us in the Crucible, you know what I mean?
10:57
The whole planet since then, Max.
10:59
Yeah, I know, but like what? What I'm trying to say is now.
11:04
We went to Chili's. We did go to Chili's and you ate
11:07
a lot of fish. It's like, honestly a little bit
11:10
gross. Because I enjoyed spending time
11:13
with you. I didn't know that that I didn't
11:15
know that the septupple dipper in space Chili's is just oops,
11:18
all fish. I thought we were going to have
11:23
some, some nice. I don't know, some like some
11:26
fried okra or like some, you know, some space Buffalo wings
11:31
or like a a slider. I don't.
11:34
And they just gave us fish. They gave us so much fish.
11:39
I what I what I'm meaning to say is, do we have a destination in
11:43
mind? Don't.
11:46
Well, Speaking of fish, I think the next planet on our list is
11:49
this. This What?
11:50
What was it? Cygnus something.
11:52
Cygnus 7B. That one OK, the.
11:56
One, the computer said. Perfect.
11:59
Great cool. Yeah, what is?
12:03
Is it gonna be more mushrooms? God, I hope not.
12:06
I hope we have a description. We have a description of this.
12:09
Don't. We can you give us a low down on
12:13
what Cygnus 7B is going to look like?
12:16
Yeah, sure. Max does like the higher.
12:20
Wigs, I think your computer needs a hard reboot.
12:24
The computer might have a hangover.
12:27
This is bad. This really fucked us up.
12:32
You'll have to give me several moments.
12:38
I'm sorry, Turn. Yourself down on the same.
12:40
Computer Max. I've never seen the little
12:42
spinny wheel on this computer before.
12:43
This is. Incredible.
12:46
I've never seen the computer. I've never seen the computer.
12:49
Just have the middle finger emoji.
12:53
I hang up her is upset with us. Wait, why does the hand have 6
12:59
fingers? Oh God more AI slop.
13:04
I thought we got past this. The thing is is as well is if
13:15
like the Murphy or Spencer would have asked it would have been
13:19
fine but the the computer just upset with Max just sending all
13:23
those text messages the the buffering, it's just literally a
13:30
middle finger doing this. Yeah, rotating middle finger.
13:35
Yeah, Cygnus 7B is a mesmerizing today of deep sapphire with
13:40
swirling patterns of lighter blue indicating underwater
13:43
currents and thermal activity. Their surface is unbroken by
13:47
land is a global ocean that stretches to an unimaginable
13:51
depths. Sun Sun Sunlight penetrates the
13:55
upper layers creating a shimmering cerulean world below
13:59
perpetual twilight rains punctuated by the vibrant
14:02
bioluminescence of the countless marine organisms.
14:06
Gigantic, slow moving clouds of bio bioluminescent plankton
14:10
drift through the water creating ethereal light shows.
14:14
Hydrothermal vents on the ocean floor speak mineral rich waters
14:18
supporting unique and bizarre ecosystems.
14:23
You think they're hot for maids guys?
14:25
Yes, to me I feel like I saw a Kevin Spacey movie about this.
14:32
In that movie suck ass. Who's Kevin Spacey?
14:34
I don't know, probably. Oh, isn't it?
14:37
Wait, wait, what do you mean space?
14:39
Kevin Spacey. No, that would be ironically,
14:43
his name is Kevin Earthly. Oh shit, weird.
14:52
Kevin, these things get so confusing.
14:54
This is why I only watch Earth movies.
14:57
Is is that all you want to know before I close this flash bang
15:01
ridden? Thank you computer.
15:03
You can close it. Thank you Computer.
15:05
Are there any are? Are there any like mind
15:10
altering, like crazy, like death plagues that we need to worry
15:15
about? That's a good question.
15:17
To Max's point, we are two for two on death plagues and we just
15:20
didn't encounter the whisper wind.
15:21
We got really lucky guys, because we're stupid.
15:25
Yeah, the. Computer like grows like, puts
15:28
like, act like, googly eyes on and looks at Max as soon as it
15:32
goes I don't know and then close this down.
15:35
Oh wait, Zordon computer, huh? Zordon made this computer,
15:39
didn't he? Oh.
15:41
Fucking Zordon again. Come on.
15:44
Well, computer, I guess. Set course to that planet and
15:47
we'll start there. OK.
15:49
Thanks computer, we appreciate you fighting through whatever
15:54
this is. We'll debug you soon.
15:59
Probably one of us is going to have to read the manual, not it.
16:02
Dibs. Not it, sorry.
16:16
OK, so you spend 3, maybe 4 hours traveling to Cygnus 7B.
16:24
Bigger than I thought. Must have been in the same space
16:26
neighborhood as Chili's. No.
16:29
He was, oh wait, no, put the planet.
16:31
Never mind. Yeah, space release was before.
16:34
I know those mushrooms like really fucked with us.
16:36
So I think we're all just going to be a little confused for a
16:39
while maybe. Yeah, I think I have some minor
16:41
memory loss. Maybe for the next couple of
16:43
hours or days, hard to tell. Yeah, so you make it to Cygnus
16:50
7B and again you just, you see everything that I've just
16:53
explained to you that I'm not reopening that flash bang drive
16:57
to to read out. Wow, look.
16:58
At these look at these nice cerulean waters.
17:02
Do you? Think the water goes all the way
17:04
down? I wonder if they have air pods.
17:06
Hey, guys, we didn't, you know, think about this.
17:09
How are we going to breathe? Oh no.
17:12
Oh no. I mean, we can breathe in space,
17:14
right? Do you think our suits just have
17:17
like sealed off capabilities? I just don't know if they're
17:20
like, yeah, wait, I'm because like, I don't know.
17:23
Space is like, I don't know. I don't know.
17:26
I'm just, I'm a little nervous because I can't swim.
17:30
Spencer, you waited till now to tell us this.
17:33
Oh, it seemed like it was going to be relevant.
17:36
Water's like cool. We could have taught you.
17:38
Water's kind of like an Earth thing.
17:41
I just. I don't know, I wasn't expecting
17:43
to adapt a swim out here. Fuck.
17:47
It's fine. It's fine.
17:49
I'll be fine. I'll walk.
17:51
Wait, Max can fly? I'll walk on the floor.
17:53
So, Max, did we ever figure out if you could fly underwater when
17:57
we were at the ice planet? That's just.
17:59
Swimming. That's called swimming, Murphy.
18:01
Right, but you you can also fly. Yes, they're two separate
18:05
things. No, but what if you do the fly
18:07
thing underwater? Then it's swimming, right?
18:10
You're not swimming through the air, you dipshit.
18:14
Yeah, you are. What is gas, but just a really
18:18
like a very not dense liquid. I couldn't think.
18:21
It's a whole different state of matter, Max.
18:24
What is a solid? What is a?
18:26
What is a liquid? What is a gas?
18:27
So fucked. Guys, a liquid is just a.
18:31
A liquid is just a. Just because it's called fluid
18:33
dynamics doesn't mean they both have a liquid.
18:36
No, it's it's all the same. It's just levels of density.
18:38
You could. You can swim through rock if you
18:40
really tried. Do it.
18:43
Yeah, OK, find me. Find me a fine.
18:47
When we get back to earth, find me like a a volcano and I will
18:52
swim through magma. Magma isn't rock Max.
18:56
Yes, it is. It's just liquid rock.
18:58
That's not what you said. Do they teach geology in high
19:01
school these days? No, they don't.
19:04
Why not? This is important information.
19:06
Because it's stupid. We have computers for that.
19:13
I'm not going to be a minor Max wait.
19:16
You are. A minor.
19:17
Minor you're not yet. 18 Oh my God, you know exactly what I
19:21
want. Fuck both of you.
19:26
I don't know how to swim and I'm scared and you guys are making
19:28
this about swimming in rocks. It's fine fine.
19:33
Max is really getting this out of out of hand.
19:35
Just just think of it as like really dense air.
19:40
No, don't do that because you'll end up trying to walk underwater
19:43
and it's not going to work out. Question is there can the PERD
19:48
go underwater? I don't.
19:50
Know until we try. Wait, but I'd rather read the
19:54
manual for that or ask the computer before we just fucking
19:57
try it. Because if it doesn't like I
19:59
know the enterprise can do that, but this isn't the enterprise.
20:01
So like. Computer Can you swim in water,
20:07
not in air? We know you can swim in air.
20:10
You don't swim in unless you're really stupid and don't
20:13
understand that that's just flying.
20:20
Thank you. That didn't answer the.
20:22
Question. I can swim through water if that
20:25
is what you're trying to say. Oh, thank God.
20:29
But it's more like flying because I use Jet Propulsion to
20:32
move through the water. So we're flying underwater.
20:37
Yeah. Like what I said.
20:39
No, Max, not like what you said, because this is Jet Propulsion.
20:48
OK. So the new question though, just
20:49
because you can go underwater, do we have anywhere to like are
20:52
there cities under here? Like are there because if it's
20:54
all underwater, doesn't make sense that there would be air
20:57
pockets, right? There is.
21:00
Well, I'm not dying. I'll tell you the name of the
21:02
city. Something's really wrong with
21:06
our computer, guys. All right, well, we're on this
21:10
mission. You need to reboot yourself a
21:11
little bit. Yeah, I will.
21:12
Don't worry. The spores must have gotten into
21:16
the perd. I've just gotten virus from
21:19
those text messages that Max sent.
21:22
All right. I've never seen something so
21:29
awful in all my time of being a computer, and I've been a
21:33
computer for a long time. OK, but has she responded yet?
21:37
I think she blocked us the. Fact that it's in us now is
21:42
what's really unfortunate about that.
21:52
Spencer is going to walk back to Max's room and grab his phone
21:56
really fast and shoot off a text that just says hi Sarah this is
22:00
Spencer, I'm so sorry. Murphy and I stole his phone.
22:06
Damage control. You're welcome.
22:10
Jesus Christ, yes, but there is. The city is underneath the
22:15
water. OK, well, I, I guess we're just
22:18
going to fly. We're going to fly underwater to
22:23
whatever the biggest metro city is, whatever the capital of this
22:28
planet is. Take us to their leader.
22:30
Yes, thank you, Computer. Which leader I.
22:34
Don't know who the fish leader. The the boat fish, there's a
22:39
there's a war going on right now.
22:41
Well, is there a hotter 1? Can you show us pictures?
22:47
Yeah. Well, I get that they're fish,
22:48
but we can make the determination which one's
22:50
hotter. I can.
22:51
Show you pictures. Is it this guy?
22:56
Max, you're literally not allowed to use your phone
22:58
anymore. Max, it's a frog, not a fish.
23:05
OK, so it's the first one's this guy, I don't know if you can see
23:08
that on on the screen. Yeah, now.
23:09
Yeah, I can see him. This is the first guy.
23:12
I would like to point out for me, it just showed Kyle for like
23:17
an extended period of time. It's still me for me, don't
23:20
worry about it. And I was like, I don't know.
23:26
Not Jerry. What's the what's the is it
23:27
Terry? What's the big lobster dude
23:30
called? Larry.
23:32
There we go. Oh, Larry the Lobster.
23:35
Definitely the lobster. Definitely.
23:36
He looks jacked. Yeah, this guy.
23:39
So he showed us Fish like a reverse mermaid chat for all of
23:45
you who are listening now. The the one from Invincible was
23:49
supposed to be Aquaman. Yeah, I've shown Aquarius and
23:52
then I've shown Larry the Lobster from.
23:57
Yeah, I think lobsters. Yeah, let's go to lobsters.
24:00
OK. OK, let me let me get back on
24:11
track here because I've got a picture of Larry the Lobster on
24:14
my PC screen right now. For those of you who aren't
24:18
watching right now, he did slap his bald head several times.
24:23
That was the sound that you've heard.
24:25
Nothing inappropriate was happening.
24:28
Yet, yeah. We'll see what happens when we
24:32
start touching lobsters. OK, so you're going to the the
24:38
side of the tidal Breakers. So they're like, they live like
24:42
in the deeper, darker areas of the planet.
24:45
And when you arrived, you were greeted by a lovely Armada of
24:49
lobster men and women with Spears pointed at the purd.
24:55
Oh good, they seem friendly. Shit.
24:58
What? What's the plan?
25:00
Is there like a do you? Have like a loudspeaker, yeah.
25:03
I I was just about to, yeah. More than likely it's like a
25:07
it's a spaceship right? Like regular ships have like
25:11
megaphones on them to swing out shit so.
25:15
Spencer's frantically pressing the buttons at her console,
25:17
trying to find the speaker function.
25:20
Roll 2D6 shit straight. That is A10 OH.
25:27
Shit, yeah, I wanted some cool new features to come out on
25:31
this. Give me the fog machine again.
25:36
I was. Just about to say I might start
25:38
the fog machine just for the vibe.
25:40
I mean, we'd want to be impressive when we get out of
25:42
this thing, right? I mean, that would actually be a
25:43
pretty cool exit. Yeah, you find it within like 3
25:49
clicks. The first click was like
25:51
confetti cannons. Yep, sick love it.
25:54
God, that's going to be a bitch to clean up later, God damn it.
25:57
The second click was the Roomba. Oh good.
26:01
And then that'll only. That'll help with the confetti.
26:04
The megaphone. Definitely.
26:06
It's it's not going to spread the confetti anywhere.
26:08
Oh shit. This thing's on.
26:10
We come in peace. We mean you no harm.
26:18
I don't think you can hear them back through though.
26:20
We mean no harm. How does that sound through?
26:26
The water like very muffled. Yeah, sound doesn't travel well
26:33
like that all. Right.
26:35
Have you ever like, screamed while you're in the water?
26:37
It it probably goes like this far away from you.
26:40
It's a face. Do they know Morse code?
26:44
Did they put the Spears down? Not yet.
26:47
Wait, wait, guys, I think I saw this in an old movie and I'm
26:50
going to look around and I'm going to I'm going to find the
26:55
disco ball button. OK.
26:58
And I want to use the disco ball to recreate the scene from
27:01
first. What was it?
27:02
First encounter? close encounter?
27:04
Close Encounter. Yeah.
27:07
Where it's like. The Music Machine.
27:10
Yeah, so we got the fog machine, we got the Doo Doo, Doo, Doo.
27:15
It's like fucking Simon Says going out of the.
27:17
Outside, no. We came to fucking party.
27:24
Oh, OK. Yeah, go for it.
27:26
Yeah, I'm not even going to make you.
27:27
You're the only one who actually knows where things are on this
27:29
ship. So it's just yeah.
27:31
You turn the disco ball on, you connect your Spotify to to the
27:37
ship, Max hits the the fog machine, you drop the hanging
27:44
door and you just like. Oh, and we're suited up as well,
27:49
because. I was assuming you were you were
27:52
suited up and there's just music and fog somehow.
27:57
Don't ask me questions. I don't know.
27:59
And light coming from this disco ball and you just see like 15 to
28:05
20 really confused looking lobster men and women, but still
28:11
pointing spares. Murphy's in the middle, like
28:14
striking the euro pose. He just sort of leans over to
28:16
Max and goes, do you think we overdid it?
28:18
Do you? I feel like this is like the
28:19
entrance, like a wrestling match or something.
28:21
Like no. Spencer is frantically doggy
28:24
paddling. We're standing off the platform.
28:37
Why aren't they saying anything? And then you see, you see one
28:41
that looks exactly like Larry. I'm I'm not even, this is Larry
28:45
from SpongeBob SquarePants. He's a Bikini Bottom guy.
28:48
With the with the floral. Shorts and everything, yeah.
28:51
No, he's in his speedos. It's been a beach day.
28:53
Wow, I'm not going. To say that, I'm not going to
28:58
say that never. Mind Jesus Christ.
29:06
Describe the bulge. Oh no.
29:09
Oh no. Down.
29:12
Spencer down. I need to know if this lobster
29:16
dude is packing. Enough to make both Max and
29:20
Murphy feel inadequate. That's all you need to know.
29:24
Murphy always feels inadequate. It's fine.
29:26
Spencer doesn't even notice. Great.
29:29
She's just like really taking in the pecs like this is like a
29:32
respect situation. Yeah, I don't understand how
29:35
that works because it it's got like a shell.
29:37
So I don't understand how pecs work for an animal of the shell.
29:40
We're not going to go. There Murphy takes a couple
29:44
steps forward towards who he assumes is the leader and he
29:47
like raises his hand and then he like rate like puts it out like
29:51
a fist bump and goes hang shell, dude.
29:54
Murphy, you mean I have a like this?
29:58
Otherwise they won't understand you.
30:03
Dude tell tell the guy and maybe his pecs out to stop being space
30:08
racist. That's an owl.
30:11
Max, you did it again, Dad, damn it.
30:13
No, they don't want to be spacious.
30:18
Who are you and why are you here?
30:22
Well, to answer your second question first, we do come in
30:25
peace. We're not here to fight.
30:27
We just wanted to look cool. Didn't impress you guys.
30:30
And we are the the the Power Rangers.
30:36
Did the did the others send you? Define others.
30:43
We're at war here, boy. Oh, this is news to us.
30:47
Our computer didn't tell us that, but it's feeling a little
30:49
under the weather right now. How does a computer feel?
30:56
I don't know. We think it got a virus.
31:00
Oh, OK. There was like this whole.
31:03
Weird text on it. Mushroom infection and then
31:06
there was like some gross texting and we think we fixed
31:09
it. But there's there's a lot of
31:10
we're going to. Need to get some antifungal
31:11
cream to shove it in the USB port, but we'll figure that out
31:14
later. Yeah, it it does that.
31:18
Yes. Welcome.
31:21
Oh, give you the tour. I suppose you can only stay
31:25
briefly because they say we are at war.
31:28
Can we help? Wait, what can war over What
31:32
With who? The other guys?
31:34
The fish people. Yes, because they want to have
31:38
peace and we want order. Oh, OK.
31:45
OK, Hey, hey, can we, can we, can we sidebar for a second?
31:50
No, Max, I don't think that's a good idea right now.
31:53
I They're all around us at the moment.
31:58
Yes. Please show us around.
32:01
No worries, let's go. It takes you through this town
32:04
and it's all the buildings are made like out of like a coral
32:08
like material. Oh, I love your architecture.
32:13
You know, you walk past like a school bank.
32:16
No, it's protected by a man who has free riddles written down on
32:19
his clipboard. Shit, we're definitely not
32:21
getting in there. You walk past like a town hall,
32:24
like 7 bars in a row. Not like like with shops in
32:29
between them, they're all just like in a row.
32:32
That seems really. Convenient.
32:35
Efficient. Yeah, sure.
32:39
You're doing really well. Matt, not over saturated market
32:41
at all. You're doing really, really
32:43
well. I don't know if you're going to
32:44
come back from the space racism, but I think you're making an
32:47
effort and that's like what's important in these situations.
32:52
I'll just, I'll, I'll just take that.
32:54
I'll, I'll, I'll take that for me.
32:56
I'll just be quiet. I don't think you need to be
32:59
quiet. I just, I think you just need to
33:00
like work on your sensitivity. I, I don't know like Zordan has
33:03
any like space sensitivity training courses or something in
33:06
that computer, but maybe we should consider getting enrolled
33:09
in one when we get back on the ship.
33:11
I. Think I just got a message from
33:13
from HR. Wait, we have HR?
33:16
Yeah, it just it just says me invoked it's.
33:21
The HR is me. I sent that about 10 minutes
33:22
ago, don't worry about it. I'm so this is my favorite type
33:45
of episode where I don't have to be funny.
33:57
Where was it? 7 bars in a row?
33:59
That's what I said, right? Yeah.
34:01
And then you then you come past like a mine not.
34:04
Another one. And next to it's like an armoury
34:07
with like pulse rifles and stuff like that.
34:11
I don't know why that they have spares there as well.
34:14
I don't know why they didn't bring the pulse rifles to grate
34:17
you, but you know, didn't. That's a really smart thing to
34:21
have right next to 7 bars. It is, I'm a lot more likely to
34:26
use a space rifle if I'm fucked up after going on A7 bar long
34:29
Bender than. I, I feel like, I feel like
34:35
pulse rifles would be very inefficient underwater.
34:39
I don't think they're going to do very well unless it's like a
34:40
water pulse. But it's a Sonic pulse.
34:43
Well, and we've also established that the PERT is very
34:49
susceptible to analogue damage as well.
34:54
Yeah, and there's a like a, a notice part on a board in front
35:01
of the mine and it says make sure to take up arms before you
35:06
head to the war zone at the core.
35:09
Rule 2. Don't be space racist.
35:10
Wait. Wait wait, wait wait.
35:13
I just got an idea Max. Yeah.
35:15
Let's let's, let's go. I'll I'll look at the lobster
35:18
guy. Can we wait?
35:20
Will you allow me, Spencer and I to go into one of the bars real
35:23
quick with Max? Is that cool?
35:27
Yeah, why not? Cool Max, we should go ask and
35:31
see what that liquid you have is that green bottle.
35:34
Oh, that's smart. Hey, yo.
35:40
OK, OK. If anybody would know, it'd be
35:45
another alien like. Hey, hey, hey.
35:47
Don't, don't make any weird generalizations.
35:49
It's going to be quiet. No.
35:53
Thank you for letting us go to your bar, Sir.
35:57
Now I think of a bar man's voice.
35:59
God damn guys. You could just do what I do and
36:03
just don't do any voices. I can't be the winner of Voice
36:09
of the Year without doing voices.
36:11
I don't think you are in this. Condition.
36:13
No, it's just your regular voice.
36:15
But do the most American accent you can, Yeah?
36:21
When I think most American, it's got to be like really Texan
36:26
shape. That's the problem is that most
36:27
Brits can do Southern but can't do like Midwestern.
36:31
We don't get much. You've been exposed to three
36:34
Midwesterners consistently for like.
36:37
Over a year. Do you talk to more Americans
36:41
than us regularly? No.
36:45
So. So an amalgam of the three of
36:48
our Midwest accents should be your default American accent I.
36:54
Don't know man. I believe in you, baby.
36:57
You've got this. You've got.
36:58
Don't I feel them the pressure now?
37:03
I've never felt them, the pressure doing a voice on this
37:05
podcast until this moment, right?
37:06
Now. Well that's because you usually
37:09
have like 3 weeks to practice them.
37:11
Yeah, I do, yeah. We just sprung this right on
37:14
you. You.
37:15
You did? Yeah, I'm.
37:15
Just trying to think of something that doesn't like you
37:17
don't need to change your voice for like like a bar man.
37:20
You don't got to like go deep for it.
37:21
Just do a different accent. Shouldn't it's?
37:24
Just the Arthur accent without the rasp.
37:26
True, the Arthur accent I have to like get into character for.
37:32
Think about your dead wife. We have to get she's so really
37:35
upset and she loves you and you can trade her and like want a
37:40
punch of all kind of shit. Let's let's just send it in.
37:47
Whatever accent we land on, we land on.
37:49
Great. Great, here we go, fuck
37:51
everything. Will be fine.
38:01
Hello there, how do we do today? Perfect.
38:05
Hey, that's pretty good. Wow, shit.
38:08
Max says that's that's. Deep Chicago.
38:10
That's deep, Chicago. That that is very much like
38:13
meatball. May I just say I feel like I'm
38:16
home. Max, why don't you give him that
38:21
bottle and see if he knows what it is?
38:23
Excuse me, excuse me, Sir, have a have a quick question for you.
38:28
Have you have you ever seen this, this type of liquor
38:34
before? And Max produces the green
38:36
bottle. The the man lobster thing takes
38:41
the bottle out of your hand and looks at it for a moment and
38:44
like tries to rub off the dirt that is caped on this bottle.
38:48
Hey, Murph, Murph. Sidebar, you know he says.
38:51
You know how he said liquor? He's got liquor, but he's never
38:54
licked her. What does that mean?
39:00
Don't worry about it, you're too young.
39:02
Sorry, forget I said anything. Wait, we're.
39:06
You'll, you'll get there. Don't worry about it.
39:10
I thought maybe with the Aphrodite thing, it just never
39:13
mind, never mind. I mean, she's like staying in
39:18
your room, man. We all, we all thought it
39:20
doesn't matter. Doesn't matter what do you?
39:23
Wait, what's that? No, don't worry about it.
39:25
We'll we can talk later. Oh, OK, OK, we'll.
39:28
Wait about it back up. Back to OK, OK.
39:33
This is akin to your humans absinthe.
39:38
That was very Irish. That works.
39:42
Notice I say akin. It's similar to it isn't
39:46
absinthe. Cool, it's space absinthe.
39:50
Space absinthe spabsinthe spabsinth.
39:54
I'm not a fan of that one. Why does it make you
39:59
uncomfortable? No it.
40:01
It makes everybody uncomfortable knowing that Max has booze that
40:06
you'll never drink, yes, Bob said.
40:09
OK, I never. Said anything about that not.
40:11
Drinking the booze. You've had that booze since like
40:15
episode 6 and we're on like episode 17, no?
40:20
Max grabs the bottle. All right.
40:23
You guys want to go for a ride? No, not right now.
40:29
That's what I thought. And Max slowly puts it back into
40:33
his bag. Is he carrying like a man purse?
40:37
Like a sort of crossbody satchel situation over his armor.
40:41
Oh 100% OK. I just wanted.
40:43
To make sure and he's sopping wet.
40:46
Yup, you know, maybe I shouldn't have brought my leather
40:52
messenger bag into a ocean planet.
40:57
Why are you carrying around that bottle?
40:59
It feels like it's like a weird thing to a bra here.
41:03
How are you going to drink it underwater?
41:05
I wasn't maybe, I don't know, maybe it was going to be like
41:09
the key to stopping this war. I guess I don't know, maybe you
41:13
can get them to drink together. I just carry everything with me
41:16
in case. Yeah, it.
41:18
Oh hey, do you have your soup? Almost everything with me in
41:23
case. I'll be back in 2 seconds.
41:25
I'm really absolutely. And if I laugh, I might actually
41:28
pee myself. This episode is going to be such
41:33
a nightmare to edit. I'm so sorry Kyle.
41:47
Did you wash your fucking hands? That was way too fast.
41:50
Go wash your hands. That's disgusting.
41:52
We're talking. Go wash your fucking hands.
41:58
No one. You have wee wee on your hands.
42:03
You're muted. You're muted.
42:04
You're muted and you're covered in piss.
42:08
I do not have piss on my hands, right?
42:13
Yeah, whatever you were yelling from across the room, we
42:15
couldn't hear. You I was like I'm doing
42:17
something wrong. It all comes back to piss.
42:27
Why are you going from the bar? We'll just continue.
42:30
Next bar we're going through all 7.
42:36
Scrap. In I'm in a hell of my own
42:38
making, yeah. So this guy, I'm no one's asked
42:47
his name so I'm not given a name.
42:49
No, we don't do that here consistently.
42:51
We don't do that. Oh yeah.
42:54
As a group, in every game, the only game where we ask questions
42:58
that stress out the the Game Master is Wild West.
43:02
And I love that for us, because Rye's just prepared for every
43:08
question ever anyway, so. It's the only.
43:11
Way The only MPC's we know the names of are the ones that
43:13
introduce themselves to us, yeah.
43:16
Yeah. Yeah, so you he stops and he
43:20
goes. Well, that was a tour.
43:23
Now get back on your ship and leave.
43:26
Wait, but what about this war? Yeah, we, we're like good at
43:30
like fighting and stuff. It's like our our thing.
43:33
You want like some? Yeah.
43:34
We'll fuck up some fish, yeah. I'll fuck a, I'll fuck up a
43:37
fish. These aren't the fish.
43:47
I can, Jesus. Christ.
43:49
I sorry I couldn't say that right.
43:52
Like that's not derogatory or anything.
43:55
I honestly, I don't know. I don't.
44:01
Know. Spencer are.
44:01
We both going to be cancelled the sensitivity training course.
44:05
Now you have to leave more because this one one wants to
44:10
fuck a fish. No, fuck up.
44:11
Fuck up like, you know, kill it. I'll kill.
44:13
I'll. Kill it.
44:15
Let's just. Go, let's just go like 3 days
44:17
ago. Like I'm so in.
44:19
I don't worry about it. It was like a slip.
44:21
It was a fraudulent slip. Sponsor, sponsor.
44:24
I'm too young. I can't.
44:27
We should get back on the PERT. I.
44:29
We should go. Swear to these realities I'm not
44:33
going to fuck a fish, I promise. I believe you.
44:43
What am I doing with my life? I don't know man, you put us
44:46
here. I didn't expect to have to have
44:49
a space racist twice in my one in my own campaign and they
44:56
didn't expect. I mean to be.
44:59
Fair, a 17 year old girl would be like I'll fuck a fish.
45:03
Fuck up, I'll fuck. Up a fish.
45:06
I think we've all three events because I think I was space
45:08
racist on Thrax. So like we're we're one for one
45:11
for one at this point. Yeah, let's yeah, you just go
45:16
back to the ship. Yeah, as soon as the doors
45:18
close, Murph's going to go. Max, I know what you're going to
45:21
say in the sidebar, and we absolutely should not help the
45:23
warmongers. What if?
45:27
But what if they're actually the good guys?
45:29
Like, well, they didn't give. Us the opportunity to explain
45:32
their side, Did they? No, Yeah, but like, what if
45:35
they're actually the good guys? Though I just like, why didn't
45:37
they want me to help them fight? I'm I'm good at it.
45:41
All right, let's go. Spencer It seems like they're
45:43
better at fighting. So if we go help the fish, if we
45:45
can fight the lobster people. OK, I guess he seemed tough.
45:50
I've always wanted to feel an exoskeleton crushed beneath my
45:53
bare hands. There you go, that's the.
45:56
Spirit. That's the Spirit.
46:01
And that's where we're going to leave the first of these two
46:04
episodes. The.