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Childhood Psychic Experiences: Recognizing the Early Signs 🔮 · The Psychic Explorer

0:08
Hello, I'm Matt and I think I'm a psychic medium.
0:16
I've always been interested in the paranormal
0:18
and the spooky and although I've been open to
0:20
it, I've also tried to err on the skeptical side.
0:24
After all, I didn't think I had had any experiences
0:27
and I certainly never thought it would have any
0:29
impact on my life. But that was then. Now I want
0:40
to explore where this gift will take me. In my
0:44
podcast I'll be exploring the challenges of discovering
0:47
a spiritual gift, the long path of development
0:49
and how this new page of my life is affecting
0:52
relationships with friends, family and myself.
0:58
So I invite you to join me as I explore my psychic
1:01
and spiritual journey as my inner skeptic and
1:04
inner medium go head -to -head in The Psychic
1:07
Explorer. Hey guys, this is now the fifth time
1:22
I have tried to sit down and record this. At
1:26
the end of episode three, I wanted to reflect
1:28
on some of the experiences I had when I was a
1:30
child that I can now look back on and recognize
1:34
there may have been an element of spookiness,
1:38
supernaturals, spiritual awareness, whatever
1:41
you want to call it. I can look back now and
1:45
recognize that same vibration I get when I do
1:48
a reading today, that same vibration I recognize
1:52
all the way back into my childhood. Sometimes
1:56
it was something physical. Sometimes it was something
1:59
I could see or glimpse. Sometimes it was something
2:02
I could feel. And other times it was intuition
2:06
or premonition. And I'm really conscious that
2:10
I don't want this episode to turn into a therapy
2:14
session. However, every single time I have started
2:18
telling the story I find it such a struggle to
2:22
get it out because when I explain the context
2:25
of where I was I realized that it's something
2:30
that I have buried deep within me and talking
2:33
about these things is bringing memories and feelings
2:39
straight up to the surface and it's making me
2:42
question What is the value in this? What is the
2:45
value in telling you this? What is the value
2:47
in bringing it all back up? But I keep coming
2:51
back to it. So I've got to trust that there's
2:54
some value in it. And maybe that's something
2:56
you can tell me if you find this episode useful
2:59
or helpful to you. That if you have been bullied
3:02
or if you have some trauma in your childhood,
3:05
it can really block you when you're wanting to
3:08
move forward or when you're wanting to revisit.
3:11
other aspects of your childhood which you thought
3:13
were completely unrelated so prior warning i
3:17
apologize if what i'm about to describe about
3:21
to explain is either not of interest to you or
3:24
sounds like i'm droning on but at the end of
3:26
episode three i did promise you i would tell
3:28
you about some of the experiences i had so i
3:32
will do that but i also think there needs to
3:35
be context with this because As I was recording
3:38
this yesterday, I had a bit of a revelation that
3:41
some of the things that I felt or some of the
3:45
things I saw, although they never troubled me
3:49
as such, I now look back and realize actually
3:52
that may have been someone helping, that may
3:55
have been someone protecting or just looking
3:57
over me. So I invite you to step back into time
4:02
with me. The year is 1990. I am six years of
4:07
age I'm a little blonde haired kid with big blue
4:10
eyes and I'm living in this town in the south
4:13
of England with my mum and my sister on a new
4:17
build council estate but this council estate
4:22
is right on the edge of town and our house is
4:25
at the very end of the row and right next to
4:28
it is more or less open countryside there's a
4:31
nature pond there's a big mill pond There are
4:34
woodlands, there are grasslands and running through
4:37
that woodland is a railway line and beyond that
4:40
railway line is open countryside and farmland
4:43
right through to the next town. Although I wasn't
4:48
a fan of the town, I look back now and realize
4:50
just how lucky we were to grow up in that setting.
4:56
This is the era of live and kicking on Saturday
4:59
morning TV. Once we'd finished watching that
5:02
we were out the door. and we would not be seen
5:05
until it either poured down with rain or it got
5:09
dark we had friends on the street who we would
5:12
go make dens with we would play games on what
5:16
we would call the pink bit and that's where our
5:18
house was it was this sort of cul -de -sac area
5:21
which was paved in a pink brick where people
5:24
could park but because back in the 1990s there
5:28
were nowhere near as many cars as there are nowadays
5:30
it was almost always empty and my sister and
5:35
I and our friends that would be our territory
5:37
that would be our place where we would play games
5:40
with our friends with our neighbors we would
5:44
constantly be out on our bikes on our rollerblades
5:47
going up and down the streets up and down the
5:49
path which wound their way around the nature
5:52
pond and into the woods there was something what
5:57
we called the big hill and I went back a few
6:00
years ago and this big hill is tiny put the six
6:04
-year -old me into our friends it was massive
6:08
because this tarmac path sloped ever so gently
6:11
up this hill and we would always skate down it
6:16
and rush to the top of it and skate back down
6:19
and rush to the top of it and skate back down
6:21
it and it wasn't huge but to us it was and mum
6:27
always provided a very safe house it was full
6:31
of love full of safety full of comfort and I'm
6:35
very aware that I'm painting a very idyllic picture
6:39
here actually I wasn't as happy as I'm making
6:44
out there was a lot of things bubbling under
6:49
the surface my mum and dad were amicable there
6:53
was tension there between them but you know they
6:57
tried they made it work for us we enjoyed going
7:01
to see my dad that wasn't an issue but schooling
7:04
for me was when I first went I think I remember
7:09
my mum saying to me I was really excited to go
7:12
and meet other kids and it wasn't long before
7:15
I realized that other kids didn't like me or
7:19
at the very least I soon became the target of
7:22
a lot of other children's bullying I know this
7:26
is a common thing many kids or kids get bullied
7:31
at some stage and I hope I'm not internalizing
7:35
this or making it more than it was to me though
7:38
it felt like it was constant I remember children
7:44
in the class actively shunning me actively blocking
7:49
me out making fun of me I if you haven't noticed
7:55
already Speech for me does not come easy. I really
8:00
have to think about what I say, how I say it
8:02
because I have a condition of syndrome where
8:06
I was born with an oversized tongue and when
8:10
I was a toddler, my tongue was reduced. This
8:14
means that my tongue is visibly different from
8:17
other people. It also gives my voice and my speech
8:21
pattern a slightly muffled and an unclear way
8:25
of speaking and my tongue drew a lot of attention
8:30
from people couple that with a pretty camp kid
8:34
as well I mean it was pretty obvious that I was
8:37
going to turn out the way that I turn out from
8:40
day one and other kids picked up on that as well
8:43
as I'm speaking to you I can hear these names
8:46
go around in my head the names that children
8:49
called me I can feel myself shutting down. And
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this is the point I get to every single version
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I've recorded this episode so far, and I seem
8:59
to just stop. I'm gonna retry and just push through
9:03
and just try and get this out there. Because
9:07
life, I cannot do this for a sick time. I can't
9:10
do it. But the point is, is that life at school
9:16
was not fun. I learned to become wary. afraid
9:21
of other children. I did have friends at school
9:24
and they were great but for the most part I learnt
9:28
that other children were to be avoided. If I
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wanted to protect myself I needed to avoid other
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children and it wasn't even just at school when
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I was at home when we were out playing on the
9:43
pink bit or at the big hill or in the woods There
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would be other children on the street who I knew
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I needed to stay away from. There was one child
9:56
in particular who I have a vivid memory and I'm
10:00
tempted to use the word shameful and it's not
10:02
shameful but it is how it made me feel at that
10:06
time because he was younger than me. He was younger
10:09
but he was stronger than me. and I remember skating
10:13
along the tarmac path to my house and he appeared
10:18
out from behind a shrub and he just jumped on
10:21
me and he pinned me to the floor and all he kept
10:27
saying was you're asking for it you're really
10:30
asking for it and for the life of me I could
10:33
not fathom what he was talking about what had
10:35
I done to him had I upset him had I offended
10:38
him had I said something had someone told him
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that I had said something and he was threatening
10:44
to punch me he was threatening to beat me up
10:46
and then I remember hearing adult voices from
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across the way but these adult voices were not
10:53
telling him to get off they were his parents
10:56
who had pulled out fold up chairs onto their
11:00
driveway and were encouraging him to beat me
11:03
up because I was asking for it I didn't know
11:10
what I had done wrong apart from just being myself
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being a little fairy kid running around probably
11:19
pushing one of my sister's toy buggies on my
11:22
rollerblades because me, my sister and her friends
11:26
were playing mummies and daddies or some other
11:29
silly child -like game like that and this kid
11:33
who again was younger yet stronger than me Had
11:37
pinned me to the floor threatening to beat me
11:40
up with his parents screaming words of encouragement
11:43
That was really painful It was something that
11:49
has always stuck with me, but I've never associated
11:52
it with my life now But actually the more I sit
11:56
with it the more I think about it That affected
11:59
me a lot more than I ever thought it did it probably
12:03
explains why I avoid certain people. When that
12:10
pebble hit the pond of my childhood, the ripples
12:14
from that pebble are still radiating out and
12:18
affecting my adult life now. And this is not
12:22
something I really realized until I started talking
12:25
about this. On Sunday evenings, my mum used to
12:31
make sunday afternoon teas and this is so stereotypical
12:35
if you are outside of the uk but she would make
12:38
cucumber sandwiches scones crumpets all those
12:42
sort of things and she would put on a program
12:44
called songs of praise and she would love to
12:47
belt out the hymns that they would sing on that
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and then my mom my sister and i would snuggle
12:52
down onto the floor and we would put our backs
12:55
against the radiator so we could keep warm and
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we would watch the TV from this spot on the floor
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next to the radiator where we would watch BBC
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adaptations of The Lie and the Witch and the
13:07
Wardrobe or The Burrowers or The House of Elliot
13:11
those classic late 80s early 90s BBC adaptations
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which to me as a child were wondrous Eventually
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bedtime would come and mum would take us upstairs
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sing us a song, read us a poem or read us a bedtime
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story and she was always so good at these because
13:31
she would put on different voices for the different
13:34
characters and my sister and I would squeal and
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laugh and we would really enjoy it. But I do
13:41
remember vividly there was one or two occasions
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when I felt something as I turned over and went
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to bed. My bed was never in the middle of the
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room, it was always against the wall. And a couple
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of times when I went to bed, I would close my
13:58
eyes and I could feel breathing on the back of
14:02
my neck. I could feel something breathing in,
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breathing out. Breathing in, breathing out. I
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could almost hear it. I remember I could almost
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hear it. And I would face the wall and bring
14:16
the duvet right up over my head. Said if anything
14:20
was out there, it couldn't touch me. It couldn't
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get me There was no way I was gonna turn around
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into the room and open my eyes. I have my eyes
14:27
firmly shut tight But even underneath that duvet
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I could still feel that breathing in that breathing
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out that breathing in that breathing out and
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From a child point of view it was really terrifying.
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It was really worrying because something was
14:50
in my room, I knew something was in my room,
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and it shouldn't have been. In my logical brain,
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there should be nothing in that room. And that
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made it scary. But as I sit here thinking about
15:04
it, it was always on a Sunday evening, the day
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before I went to school. The day before the bullying
15:12
began again. Hey guys, it's Matt here. I know
15:29
this episode is a pretty heavy one and if anything
15:32
I've said in this has affected you, feel free
15:35
to reach out to me. At that time I felt really
15:40
quite alone, but that doesn't mean that you have
15:42
to be, so reach out to me. I'm on Facebook, threads
15:47
and Instagram and you can find me at the .psychic
15:52
.explorer. I will try and answer any questions
15:55
you might have or just offer you some words of
15:59
reassurance and love if that is what you need.
16:14
Part two is not quite as heavy, so let's get
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into it. During the summer holidays, I started
16:25
to notice that I was catching glimpses of this
16:29
figure in our house. Remember, our house was
16:33
a new build. It was built on old farmland. And
16:36
we were the first people in that house. We were
16:38
the first people to live in that house since
16:40
it was built. But there was definitely a figure.
16:44
I remember seeing it at the top of the stairs.
16:47
I remember seeing it in the corner of the hallway.
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And I knew it was a woman. I remember drawing
16:53
pictures of this in a file of facts notebook
16:56
that I had been bought for my birthday and I
16:59
had written a backstory the woman in black I
17:03
think I called her and it never scared me which
17:07
is weird because seeing a shadowy figure in the
17:10
corner of the hallway or the top of the stairs
17:13
or in a room should have been petrifying but
17:18
I don't ever remember being scared Like I said
17:23
to you at the beginning of this episode, I'm
17:25
not going to focus on was it real? Is it not
17:28
real? I'm very aware that most children have
17:31
monsters under the bed or monsters in the cupboard
17:34
stories. All I can tell you is that when I look
17:37
back on those experiences, there is a vibration
17:40
which I now recognize. And as I sit with it,
17:45
I feel that this presence, whatever this thing
17:50
was that I interpreted, was probably there to
17:54
just look over me to reassure me to protect because
17:59
I was having such a rough time with other children
18:02
fast forward to the late 1990s and my mother
18:07
has moved me and my sister to the Isle of Wight
18:10
which is an island just off the south coast of
18:12
England for my mom it was great because it allowed
18:16
her to get onto the property ladder and further
18:18
her career which where we were living before
18:21
she was just pioneered and she was now expanding
18:24
into her field. For my sister it was fantastic
18:28
because the island allowed her to extend her
18:31
childhood just for a few more years and to experience
18:35
the innocence of childhood longer than she probably
18:38
would have if we had stayed where we were. For
18:42
me however the island was not a happy place.
18:46
this little gay kid burgeoning into a teenager
18:50
I'd come from a town which was half an hour from
18:54
London and half an hour from the gay capital
18:57
of Brighton and now I was stuck on this island
19:00
which from my perspective was stuck in the 1950s
19:05
had very much an island mentality them versus
19:09
us them being the mainlanders versus us being
19:14
the islanders Even though I had some friends,
19:18
I still felt isolated because I was the only
19:22
mainlander in my group of friends who knew what
19:26
life was like on the mainland. And I seemed to
19:29
be the only one that could see that, which I
19:32
found really frustrating. The bullying had not
19:35
subsided, if anything, it had probably got a
19:37
bit worse. So I used to go to the library. I
19:43
used to go to the school nurse. I remember even
19:49
volunteering to look after the lost and found
19:53
shed because it meant that I could just go into
19:55
the shed on a lunch hour on my own and just lock
19:58
it behind me. And I would spend the whole lunch
20:00
break organizing the lost and found because nobody
20:04
would come and bother me. Our house was perched
20:10
on top of a very steep hill. From our bedrooms
20:15
you could look over to the town below, you could
20:18
see the cliffs, you could see the bay that stretched
20:20
out into the English Channel. And like the place
20:25
we lived before, it was idyllic. From the front
20:28
rooms you could look over open countryside and
20:31
from the back you could see the sea. My sister
20:35
and I would be out on our rollerblades and our
20:38
skateboards. and our bikes and because the streets
20:43
were so steep because we were perched on top
20:45
of this huge hill we used to do some real daredevil
20:49
stunts how we never broke a bone I'll never know
20:54
because we did some stupid and some dangerous
20:58
things the street that we lived on they were
21:02
building new houses the diggers had been and
21:06
they had moved tons of dirt and soil because
21:11
the gradient of this hill was so steep they had
21:14
to dig right into the hill to dig out the foundations.
21:18
The builders had piled this soil up into a really
21:22
big mound and for a boy on his bike that mound
21:28
was irresistible. I remember seeing it and thinking
21:32
oh I wonder I wonder if I could do that and I
21:36
climbed with my bike to the top of this mound
21:39
and I got on top of it and I dangled my front
21:45
wheel over the edge and I just pushed myself
21:49
off and the minute I pushed myself off I knew
21:53
it was a mistake I thought oh crap I'm gonna
21:57
do myself an injury here because this is a lot
22:00
steeper than I thought it was there were rocks
22:03
everywhere There were boulders within the soil,
22:07
hidden under the soil. There were dips where
22:10
the rain had washed some of the soil away. It
22:13
was just a stupid mistake. I got to the bottom
22:20
of that hill. My handlebars had twisted 180 degrees.
22:25
I had got a puncture in one of my tires. The
22:28
chain had come off fully. Lost the chain like
22:30
it was how that happens I have no idea but the
22:32
chain has come off and was somewhere up the side
22:35
of this mound My saddle had compressed straight
22:39
back into these into the body of the bike It
22:43
was more or less a write -off that bike. I don't
22:46
think I've eroded again because it was so damaged
22:48
But I came out of that completely unscathed Not
22:53
even a scratch and I remember As I came down
22:58
that mound, I felt something or someone, I'll
23:02
say someone because I know exactly who it was,
23:05
someone with me. I felt my mother's biological
23:08
father, my grandfather, who I had never met.
23:11
He died decades before I was born. My mum never
23:15
really even met him, but I knew it was him. I
23:17
just knew that my granddad was there and he had
23:22
protected me somehow. felt this steadying hand
23:27
on the bike I felt this calm I knew I should
23:31
be panicking I knew I should be worried but I
23:33
just felt this overwhelming calm come over me
23:37
and I felt this presence just take control of
23:43
my motion and I got to the bottom and I looked
23:47
at the top and thought I should not have come
23:50
out of that without at least a broken bone I
23:55
never told my mum, I never told anyone about
23:56
it because I thought maybe I'm being silly. I
24:00
think I just buried it. I buried it so deep because
24:04
I was an odd kid anyway and I didn't want to
24:08
be any odder. The kids on the street didn't take
24:16
to me. When we first moved there initially there
24:20
were a couple who were nice but over the space
24:24
over the span of a year or two those people distanced
24:29
themselves from me so I didn't feel like it was
24:33
something I could really talk about it wasn't
24:34
really something I could say and I guess because
24:37
it was my mum's dad who had died when my mum
24:41
was a child I didn't want to say anything to
24:43
her either because I didn't want to upset her
24:46
even though I knew that she was into all this
24:48
stuff there was something about it which I just
24:50
held back from I didn't talk about And again
24:54
with the vibration, I look back now and think,
24:57
mm, yep, recognize that feeling. The same feeling
25:01
I get when I know that I'm channeling someone's
25:04
mother, someone's partner, someone's sister,
25:07
I just know it. I know who it is for them. That's
25:11
the same feeling I had then. I knew it was my
25:14
granddad. I just knew it was my granddad. And
25:17
that was the last experience of my childhood.
25:20
I don't... I honestly hand on heart can't really
25:23
remember anything spooky happening to me because
25:28
then the teenage years kicked in and what goes
25:31
with the drama of teenagers and teenage relationships
25:35
and the dynamics of parents and teenagers that
25:39
all kicked in and that all played out. So those
25:44
were the three experiences I remember vividly
25:49
as a child. When I reflect on more recent years,
25:53
I can very much recognize how intuition has played
25:57
a part of my life. How recognizing when something
26:02
was or wasn't going to happen has helped me,
26:06
either with a contingency plan or even just accepting
26:09
that these feelings that I have had are genuine
26:12
and are valid. I'm not going to go into those
26:15
for this episode because I don't want to trivialize
26:18
what I have said already. But suffice to say
26:21
that now when I feel that vibration, when I feel
26:24
that intuition, I listen to it. Even if it's
26:27
not something I can do anything about, at least
26:31
I know that I should maybe expect something,
26:35
whatever that thing is. If you have stuck with
26:41
this episode, I really want to thank you because
26:44
I know that I needed to get those stories out.
26:48
And I'm very aware these stories are not jaw
26:51
-dropping, they're not mesmerising. They are
26:54
very simple and subtle tales. And when people
26:58
talk about ghost stories, there tends to be an
27:02
element of fear with those stories. There tends
27:05
to be an element of wickedness. And I would invite
27:11
you that when you next hear of a tale like that,
27:15
instead of reaching for the malevolent, Try and
27:19
think of the other side. Is your interpretation
27:22
of it incorrect? Is it in fact a positive? Is
27:27
it something or someone making their presence
27:30
known to you that you are not alone? That there
27:34
is someone looking over you? There is someone
27:38
breathing with you and trying to take away the
27:41
anxiety and the fear that you may have of the
27:44
next day? Maybe this is all psychological mumbo
27:50
-jumbo, maybe it's all in my head, and that's
27:53
fine. If you'd be happy for me to share some
27:57
of your tales, some of your experiences, again,
28:01
let me know. I'd be more than happy to use this
28:03
platform to get your stories out there. Sorry
28:07
if this episode has been a bit harrowing, sorry
28:09
if it's been a bit all over the place, but...
28:13
It's something I know that I wanted to say but
28:16
I found extremely difficult to articulate. If
28:21
you listen to the raw recording of this, it's
28:24
almost an hour long and half of it is just very
28:26
long pauses because I've not quite known what
28:30
to say or how to say it. At least it will make
28:33
the editing of this episode much easier. So every
28:36
cloud and all. But yeah, thank you so much for
28:38
listening to me guys. I'll be back. Hopefully
28:41
next week next Wednesday with another episode
28:43
But I will leave you with this final note that
28:47
if you're anything like me, you will look back
28:49
at your childhood and cringe and Try and forget
28:53
about it if you are like me Try and have compassion
28:57
for yourself have compassion for that six -year
29:00
-old child Who is full of innocence who is full
29:03
of love who is full of wonder? There is beauty
29:08
in naivety and that shell of innocence that we
29:12
all had In some cases is shed far too early And
29:18
I would like to encourage you to try and find
29:20
your six -year -old you again Tell them that
29:24
you love them tell them that you care for them
29:28
and you are so proud that six -year -old you
29:33
was innocent and naive and full of the wonders
29:38
and joys of life and try and reclaim that going
29:43
forward. The world is a very tough place and
29:47
we could all do with a bit more innocence and
29:49
a bit more compassion and self -love. So take
29:54
care guys. Bye! Hi guys, it's enemy just wanted
30:49
to pop in at the end of this episode because
30:51
as you would have heard this episode touches
30:53
a lot on bullying If any of what I have said
30:57
has resonated with you If you are being bullied
31:00
or if you are a parent guardian or caregiver
31:03
of a child being bullied There are plenty of
31:06
organizations out there And I feel like it would
31:09
be remiss of me not to highlight these organizations
31:12
at the end of this episode So if you are living
31:16
in the UK there is the National Bullying Helpline.
31:20
They are open from Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm
31:24
and 10am to 12 noon on Saturdays. Their helpline
31:28
is free to call on 0300 323 0169. That's 0300
31:38
323 0169. They can help with many aspects of
31:45
bullying from bullying within the workplace or
31:49
for children who are victims of bullying themselves.
31:53
Failing that there's also Childline. They are
31:56
open 24 7 and their number is 0800 11 11. That's
32:03
0800 11 11. I hope that helps guys. Sending you
32:10
all my love. Bye.