Latest / Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development Podcast by Daryl Chow, Ph.D. / HomeKit: Helping Your Clients Get Unstuck (Parts III to VI)⭕️

Transcript

HomeKit: Helping Your Clients Get Unstuck (Parts III to VI)⭕️ · Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development Podcast by Daryl Chow, Ph.D.

0:02
SPEAKER_00: In today's episode,
0:04
I'm going to be featuring the last four parts of the sneak
0:09
preview of HomeKit,
0:11
which is an audio whisper-in-your-ear companion to help you get
0:15
unstuck in sticky
0:17
SPEAKER_00: situations.
0:18
SPEAKER_00: And the last four parts that we'll be covering today are on the topic of
0:23
SPEAKER_00: discipline,
0:25
SPEAKER_00: expressing love,
0:27
SPEAKER_00: procrastination and stress.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: There's more to come in this series in HomeKit.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: You can use these ideas and apply them
0:38
with your clients or with yourself or with other people that
0:41
you're trying to be of
0:42
help with and this series will be released in its full entirety
0:47
throughout the year
0:50
and you will be able to access them when they get released if
0:53
you are interested
0:55
SPEAKER_00: the coupon code for 25 off will expire by tomorrow on the 12th of october
1:04
2025 the promo code to use is full circles vip that's
1:10
f-u-l-l-c-i-r-c-l-e-s vip and
1:17
SPEAKER_00: the link to go to access for subscribing to the use of home kit
1:23
SPEAKER_00: is darylchow.com slash homekit.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: That's D-A-R-Y-L-C-H-O-W dot com slash homekit.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: That's H-O-M-E-K-I-T.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: This is not a subscription service,
1:41
SPEAKER_00: it's a one-off payment,
1:43
SPEAKER_00: or rather it's a payment that is paid every month for the first
1:47
SPEAKER_00: 12 months.
1:48
And the reason for this is so that I will take time off from my
1:52
clinical practice,
1:53
some time off that so that I will be able to record and get
1:56
this available to as
1:57
SPEAKER_00: much people as possible.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: That's my aim for people to be able to use this as and when you need it.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: So once again,
2:05
go to darylchild.com slash home kit to check out more and don't
2:09
forget to use the
2:10
SPEAKER_00: promo code which expires tomorrow.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: For now, you get to access
2:15
SPEAKER_00: These four more episodes,
2:17
SPEAKER_00: if you've missed them,
2:18
SPEAKER_00: there were two more previously that were featured in this podcast.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: The first one that we talked about was about anxiety.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: And then we had the second part on assertiveness.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: And if you like to jump around,
2:32
I'll put the timestamp in the show notes so that you can look
2:36
through them.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: But without further ado, let's turn to HomeKit.
2:47
SPEAKER_00: The amateurs have goals, says the creator of Dilbert comic, Scott Adams.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: And the pros have a system.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: A system is how discipline looks like.
3:05
Let's look at how we could do this with three different related
3:09
strategies.
3:12
SPEAKER_00: The first, make a big decision to avoid small decisions.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: Making a big decision requires commitment.
3:22
SPEAKER_00: And to commit is to say,
3:24
I care about this thing enough that I make a promise to show up
3:28
for this even when
3:29
SPEAKER_00: my feelings aren't feeling it at the moment in time.
3:33
SPEAKER_00: To commit is to bind your intentions with your actions.
3:38
To commit then is to say,
3:40
I'm making a pre-big decision so that I avoid all other big
3:47
decisions.
3:49
For example,
3:50
I commit to meeting my mates every Thursday evening to play
3:54
soccer.
3:56
I commit to this woman that I love so that I stop looking to
3:59
hook up with someone else.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: I commit to writing every morning because I want to be a writer.
4:07
What is something that you care about that you need to make a
4:11
practical pre-decision?
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SPEAKER_00: That is, making a big decision to avoid small decisions.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: Once we make that big decision,
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we outsource the moment-by-moment decision-making to our better
4:27
self and lean on
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SPEAKER_00: it.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: And you can also think about using pre-commitment devices,
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SPEAKER_00: as the social sciences would name it as,
4:37
SPEAKER_00: to help you in this process.
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SPEAKER_00: So for example, I use a particular app called Beeminder.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: Basically, it's a free app except that
4:48
When you do not meet the things that you state that you want to
4:52
commit,
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you lose money.
4:55
So this particular app taps into this very strong psychological
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factor of loss
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SPEAKER_00: aversion,
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SPEAKER_00: which is spending money,
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SPEAKER_00: let's say $2 or $5 to buy something.
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It's very different from losing $2 or $5 because you didn't do
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something where you
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SPEAKER_00: lost that value.
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SPEAKER_00: So the first time when I started using BeMinder some years ago,
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SPEAKER_00: I wanted to track one thing that I really care about,
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SPEAKER_00: which is I want to consistently be writing every day,
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SPEAKER_00: every morning,
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SPEAKER_00: in fact.
5:30
SPEAKER_00: And to do this,
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it means that I would have to update the app whenever I punch
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in 500 words or so or
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SPEAKER_00: more,
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SPEAKER_00: and then that will calculate as an input.
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one time i forgot to update the app and i remember losing like
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two dollars or
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something and you know two dollars isn't much comparing the
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fact that we spend
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twice that amount for a cup of coffee these days and i remember
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feeling really
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upset about just losing the money and i had to write to them
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and say hey you know
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that was just a honest mistake that i didn't update it on time
6:03
because of traveling
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SPEAKER_00: and the time clock was different at different countries and so on
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SPEAKER_00: But basically, I was tracking things that really matter.
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SPEAKER_00: And I got to tell you, it's a really funny thing because
6:16
Just that idea that I might lose money if I don't do the thing
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that I said,
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SPEAKER_00: I really find it important,
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SPEAKER_00: that I really care about,
6:24
SPEAKER_00: that I'm not doing it.
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SPEAKER_00: And then I might lose money because I didn't do it.
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SPEAKER_00: It just sucks.
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SPEAKER_00: It just feels really bad about that.
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SPEAKER_00: So you could think about binding yourselves,
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SPEAKER_00: as I mentioned,
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SPEAKER_00: about binding your intentions together with your proactive intention.
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SPEAKER_00: actions that you take, but the things that you want to commit.
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So this is really useful for habit formation when you think
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about making a big
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SPEAKER_00: decision to avoid small ongoing decisions.
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SPEAKER_00: The second strategy is to create a daily, weekly rhythm.
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SPEAKER_00: Once you learn to make big decisions so as to avoid small ones,
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SPEAKER_00: you understand that discipline comes from having a system.
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SPEAKER_00: And a system comes from having a rhythm.
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SPEAKER_00: Now, I know you might be thinking, wait, doesn't this mean a schedule?
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SPEAKER_00: Yes,
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SPEAKER_00: it's related to a schedule,
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but I'm using rhythm specifically because it connotes a very
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important thing that
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SPEAKER_00: you want a consistent rhythm,
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SPEAKER_00: a consistent set of tempo of where you're going.
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SPEAKER_00: And when you design the tempo, you're locked in.
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SPEAKER_00: Just like when a band is playing,
7:39
SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: lots of stuff can go on on top in the melody or the guitars that plays.
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But the bass and the drums has to be locked in to provide this
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foundation for you
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SPEAKER_00: to do what you need to do.
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SPEAKER_00: So a system is something that is repeatable.
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And I would argue to create a rhythm that is based on two
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things,
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the daily and the weekly.
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SPEAKER_00: Now, why daily and weekly?
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SPEAKER_00: Daily because how we spend our days is how we experience our lives.
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SPEAKER_00: So when we can manage our days from the way that we begin,
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it really helps when the way we come to the end of the day
8:20
weekly because that's
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typically how far we can make a consistent plan for and when
8:25
you have that rhythm
8:27
stretch across seven days it really helps to ease in because
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not every day is the
8:32
same so for some people every monday they would do something
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specific in their work
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and tuesdays to be something else so you can't be the same for
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all across the days
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SPEAKER_00: that's one of the other reasons why daily and weekly would work
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SPEAKER_00: Now, can we do monthlies?
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Well,
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monthly plans are possible,
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like a special outing each month with the family.
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But monthly plans can only work when the daily and weekly
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rhythms are locked in place.
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SPEAKER_00: What about quarterly, yearly, and five-yearly sort of plans?
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SPEAKER_00: Those are fine, but they are goals and are much harder as a system.
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So you could make really audacious long-term plans of where you
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want to be
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financially or where you want your business or where you want
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your relationships to
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SPEAKER_00: be.
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SPEAKER_00: Those are fine, but those are
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SPEAKER_00: ultimately goals that you set out for.
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We're talking about creating a system and how we can create a
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system is to have
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SPEAKER_00: good rhythmic value.
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These things start to mesh up to give you the thing that we
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call discipline.
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SPEAKER_00: The third strategy is to measure progress.
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A sense of progress is one of the biggest dose of daily
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motivation you can give yourself.
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SPEAKER_00: Use visual means if you have to.
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SPEAKER_00: In fact, I would suggest that you do have visual means of progress.
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SPEAKER_00: So when I was writing the last book,
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SPEAKER_00: Crossing Between Walls,
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SPEAKER_00: I would have a thing called a snake chart,
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and I would just plan out each little thing that I'll be
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working on as if it was
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SPEAKER_00: little snakes and ladders that are climbing.
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on a piece of butcher paper on the wall you could do this
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digitally you could do
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this analog it doesn't matter as long as you could see it and
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you're tracking where
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are you and where you're going and how much more is ahead
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that's really helpful
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because it gives you a sense that whatever you're doing you're
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not procrastinating
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or doing something else that's deviating from that path you're
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doing things that's
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SPEAKER_00: progressive what's visible becomes visceral so make
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the measure of your progress visible to you so that it feeds
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this loop within you
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SPEAKER_00: of each step that you're taking,
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SPEAKER_00: no matter how fast or slow you are making progress.
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Now that we've covered grounds about how the strategies to
11:10
develop discipline,
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here's why.
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SPEAKER_00: Discipline cannot solely be relied on willpower.
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Discipline requires the will to commitment plus a system to see
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it through into future days.
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SPEAKER_00: Think of discipline as the following equation.
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SPEAKER_00: The will to commit plus a system plus rhythm and progress.
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SPEAKER_00: As mentioned at the outset of this particular section,
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SPEAKER_00: famed cartoonist for Dilbert Scott Adams notes,
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SPEAKER_00: My preposition is that if you study people who succeed,
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SPEAKER_00: you will see that most of them follow systems,
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SPEAKER_00: not goals.
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SPEAKER_00: He has more to say about this distinction between goals and systems.
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Goal-oriented people exist in a state of continuous pre-success
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failure at best and
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SPEAKER_00: permanent failure at worst if things never work out.
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Systems people succeed every time they apply their systems in
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the sense that they
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SPEAKER_00: did what they intended to do.
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The goals people are fighting the feeling of discouragement at
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each turn.
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SPEAKER_00: The systems people are feeling good every time they apply their system.
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That's a big difference in terms of maintaining your personal
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energy in the right direction.
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SPEAKER_00: Now,
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SPEAKER_00: if you have an allergic reaction to this sort of system and structure,
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SPEAKER_00: treat all of this as a creative constraint.
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SPEAKER_00: Now,
13:03
SPEAKER_00: take for example,
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SPEAKER_00: if you were given a brief to make anything,
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SPEAKER_00: that could be too vague and overwhelming.
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SPEAKER_00: On the other hand,
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SPEAKER_00: if you were given a brief that says,
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SPEAKER_00: use colors from our logo,
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SPEAKER_00: which consists of red,
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SPEAKER_00: blue,
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SPEAKER_00: and white,
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SPEAKER_00: along with the themes of Legos,
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SPEAKER_00: Now that's much more useful creatively because of the constraint.
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SPEAKER_00: Purposefully giving yourself that little constraint is very helpful.
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SPEAKER_00: A system to help you develop your daily,
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weekly discipline is going to help you close the gap between
13:42
your intention and
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SPEAKER_00: your actions.
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SPEAKER_00: Expressing love.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.
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SPEAKER_00: Thich Nhan Ha.
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In the way that we love people in our lives,
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are we loving or wounding others?
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Here's three ideas to think about taken from my last book,
14:21
Crossing Between Walls.
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SPEAKER_00: The first is, I see you.
14:27
When Roseanne was a preteen,
14:29
she expressed a desire to do something important in her life.
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SPEAKER_00: She wanted to write and be a musician.
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SPEAKER_00: It wasn't just a passing feeling, but her mother was worried.
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SPEAKER_00: To a degree, her concerns were warranted.
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Her mother wondered whether Roseanne would follow in her
14:48
father's footsteps.
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SPEAKER_00: Not only was he on the road most of the time,
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SPEAKER_00: he also struggled with alcohol and substance abuse.
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SPEAKER_00: Her father was the cultural icon country singer Johnny Cash.
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Roseanne Cash was conflicted because she saw how her father's
15:09
addiction affected him.
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SPEAKER_00: Still, she wanted to connect with him.
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I remember when I was about 12 years of age,
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I wrote a letter to him,
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said Roseanne.
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SPEAKER_00: I said that I had things inside me I wanted to do.
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I was opening up,
15:26
telling him I wanted to do important things,
15:28
to write and so on.
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SPEAKER_00: He wrote back and said, I see that you see as I see.
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SPEAKER_00: This meant the world to Roseanne.
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SPEAKER_00: I always held on to that.
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SPEAKER_00: Being seen by another is truly powerful.
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SPEAKER_00: Our task is not to change others,
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SPEAKER_00: but to see who they really are,
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to nurture their nature and encourage them to find their own
16:01
path to fully express
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SPEAKER_00: their gifts.
16:06
SPEAKER_00: Picture someone you care about right now.
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SPEAKER_00: Take a moment to vivify this person in your mind's eye.
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SPEAKER_00: Begin to see who that person really is on the inside,
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SPEAKER_00: who they are as an individual,
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SPEAKER_00: and imagine yourself embracing that as completely as you can,
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SPEAKER_00: and then say,
16:31
SPEAKER_00: I see you.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: Many times in our lives,
16:38
SPEAKER_00: we are unable to say to the person we love,
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SPEAKER_00: I see that you see as I see,
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SPEAKER_00: because we simply see different things.
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SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
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Our task,
16:52
if love is our highest aim,
16:55
is to be able to say,
16:58
I see you and I love you.
17:03
Call to mind others who saw you and encouraged more of you to
17:10
come to the fore.
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SPEAKER_00: Keep these people close in your memory.
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SPEAKER_00: Practice loving by nurturing the nature of others.
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SPEAKER_00: Then you can say, I see you.
17:30
SPEAKER_01: Second, soften.
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SPEAKER_00: Tenderness is not a weakness.
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There is a deep fear that when we open up and soften down,
17:44
we become woundable.
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SPEAKER_00: There is a risk of getting hurt.
17:51
Placing your heart in a glass bottle is a way to protect it
17:55
from the wounds of
17:56
SPEAKER_00: living,
17:57
SPEAKER_00: but it makes it as much harder for anything,
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SPEAKER_00: much less love,
18:02
SPEAKER_00: to come in.
18:05
SPEAKER_00: Trust requires risk, and who we trust matters.
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SPEAKER_00: We can't just say, learn to trust.
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SPEAKER_00: We must think, who am I going to learn to trust, to end trust?
18:22
To work on things you care about requires you to exert a level
18:26
of strength and
18:27
SPEAKER_00: focus on the task at hand.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: it requires you to fortify your will and discipline.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: To love the people you care about,
18:37
SPEAKER_00: on the other hand,
18:38
SPEAKER_00: requires you to do just the opposite,
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SPEAKER_00: which is to soften.
18:45
To soften is quite literally to loosen our masculine grip,
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to ease our body.
18:54
SPEAKER_00: Then it is to catch our breath and regulate our emotions.
18:59
SPEAKER_00: We don't need to stare with laser-like focus or squint with intensity.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: We can consciously soften our eyes.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: On the inside,
19:12
we begin to open and avail ourselves of others to make room for
19:16
the people you care
19:17
SPEAKER_00: about,
19:18
SPEAKER_00: to inhabit in our hearts.
19:21
You might want to do this after a day's work before you open
19:25
the door to your home
19:26
SPEAKER_00: and say,
19:27
SPEAKER_00: Hi kids.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: We can only grow things when the ground is soft.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: We can only connect when our hearts are softened.
19:40
SPEAKER_00: Practice softening your heart when you go home to the people you love.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: And here's the third idea.
19:52
SPEAKER_00: Close the gap between our intentions and its effects.
19:57
SPEAKER_00: In his seminal book,
19:58
SPEAKER_00: The Art of Loving,
20:00
SPEAKER_00: Eric Fromm writes,
20:02
SPEAKER_00: people think that to love is simple,
20:04
SPEAKER_00: but that to find the right object to love or to be loved by is difficult.
20:12
If you're in any kind of long-term relationship,
20:14
you know this to be true.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: Love is hard work.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: Love is more than a noun.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: Love is a verb.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: It is asking for us to align our behavior with our intent.
20:29
What we need to do in perspective getting is learn to ask
20:34
questions in order to
20:35
SPEAKER_00: hear them and alter our perspective.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: For example, asking the following questions.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: What's on your mind?
20:47
SPEAKER_00: And don't stop there, follow up by asking, what else?
20:51
SPEAKER_00: Tell me.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: What is something missing that you need?
20:55
SPEAKER_00: Help me see what you see.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: What's happening for you that I might be unaware of?
21:05
Outrospection acts as a potential inoculation against our good
21:11
intentions going bad.
21:15
SPEAKER_00: Outrospection is different from introspection.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is the thought that counts, but also the thought's effects.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: I can religiously water my plants on a daily basis,
21:28
but if I'm not opening my eyes to the effects of overhydration
21:33
on my green
21:33
SPEAKER_00: companions,
21:35
SPEAKER_00: it can kill some of them.
21:38
We can learn to understand the impact of our intentions through
21:42
inquiring about the
21:43
SPEAKER_00: effects on the other.
21:46
Your good intention of doing everything for your loved one may
21:50
come from a place of
21:51
SPEAKER_00: love,
21:52
SPEAKER_00: but if you learn about its effects,
21:55
SPEAKER_00: you might find out that it robs the person of feeling like they have any
22:00
SPEAKER_00: self-agency.
22:03
Love is an expansion requiring you to look outside of yourself,
22:09
therefore outrospection.
22:12
By closing the gap between your intentions and its effects,
22:16
you expand the size of your heart.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: When our hearts are small,
22:21
SPEAKER_00: we can't accept or tolerate others of their shortcomings,
22:25
SPEAKER_00: and we demand that they change,
22:27
SPEAKER_00: said Thich Nhat Ha.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: But when our hearts expand,
22:32
SPEAKER_00: we accept others as they are,
22:35
SPEAKER_00: and then they have a chance to transform.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: So practice checking the effects of your intentions,
22:44
SPEAKER_00: followed by the willingness to recalibrate your actions.
22:53
Now that we have looked at those three ideas,
22:56
the first,
22:57
which is,
22:57
I see you.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: And second, to soften your heart.
23:02
SPEAKER_00: And then third, to close the gap between our intentions and effects.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: Let's look at the reasons why.
23:10
Expressing our love to love is probably the most important art
23:16
form to learn.
23:17
SPEAKER_00: Pioneering Family Therapist Virginia Satir wrote the following poem.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: I want to love you without clutching,
23:28
SPEAKER_00: appreciate you without judging,
23:32
SPEAKER_00: join you without invading,
23:34
SPEAKER_00: invite you without demanding,
23:37
SPEAKER_00: leave you without guilt,
23:40
SPEAKER_00: criticize you without blaming,
23:42
SPEAKER_00: and help you without insulting.
23:47
If I can have the same from you,
23:49
then we can truly meet and enrich each other.
23:57
If we fail to treat it as an art form,
23:59
we risk wounding the ones we love.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: We grip too tight or we hold too loosely.
24:07
SPEAKER_00: We become too possessive or we become too passive.
24:12
To love is to act on what is hidden in our hearts and direct it
24:18
to the ones we care about.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: In a deep sense, union is what we are all seeking.
24:43
Procrastination happens when we are facing something important
24:49
on the outside that
24:52
SPEAKER_00: elicits inner anxieties beckoning us.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: Can you face your own frontier?
25:03
Isn't it interesting that when faced with a task at hand that
25:08
requires us to sit
25:09
SPEAKER_00: down,
25:09
SPEAKER_00: focus and get the work done,
25:13
SPEAKER_00: go get the vacuum cleaner,
25:15
SPEAKER_00: approach the guest room,
25:17
SPEAKER_00: clean out all the little corners of that room,
25:20
SPEAKER_00: and then proceed to the kitchen and wash the dishes.
25:25
This is because when we are faced with a task,
25:28
especially one that we care about,
25:31
we are faced with our inner thoughts and all the feelings that
25:36
would arise from
25:37
SPEAKER_00: doing something that really matters,
25:40
SPEAKER_00: or even when we need to get some things done,
25:42
SPEAKER_00: like an assignment or a project or a proposal.
25:48
SPEAKER_00: As such,
25:50
one of the key ways is to face our inner thoughts and feelings
25:55
that arises when
25:56
SPEAKER_00: we're trying to get something done.
25:58
SPEAKER_00: And one of the gateways to that
26:01
SPEAKER_00: is boredom.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: This is one of the most common challenges that many of us,
26:10
SPEAKER_00: especially in this modern age,
26:12
SPEAKER_00: we face.
26:14
SPEAKER_00: That is procrastination.
26:17
SPEAKER_00: Procrastination,
26:18
it is like a beast that haunts us every time when we have
26:21
something important or
26:23
SPEAKER_00: even meaningful that we want to do.
26:26
I want to talk about the three things you can be doing and then
26:30
we'll look at why
26:32
SPEAKER_00: that is the case.
26:33
SPEAKER_00: And here is how.
26:35
SPEAKER_00: The first is boredom.
26:39
SPEAKER_00: Boredom is the antidote to the issue of procrastination.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: Boredom is something that we want to avoid.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: But the thing is,
26:49
SPEAKER_00: if we know how to sit with boredom,
26:53
SPEAKER_00: even for a handful of minutes,
26:55
SPEAKER_00: it will be a great help to getting you started.
26:59
SPEAKER_00: Remember,
27:00
SPEAKER_00: the thing is not about getting from A to Z.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: The main issue is getting from A to B.
27:08
SPEAKER_00: And boredom,
27:09
SPEAKER_00: boredom is our gateway.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: Second, a fixed time.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: So give yourself about 15 minutes.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: Turn on the timer.
27:20
And sometimes the pain of actually sitting with the bottom is
27:24
worse than actually
27:26
SPEAKER_00: doing the task at hand.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: You might just end up doing it straight away.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: So learn to bear with that.
27:33
Learn to sit down with no other things to distract or get your
27:38
attention focused on elsewhere.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: So if you're sitting down and you're trying to do some piece of writing,
27:45
SPEAKER_00: just stare at that screen,
27:46
SPEAKER_00: that blank page.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: Let that cursor blink and blink as if it's trying to curse at you.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: But don't worry, it's not going to harm you.
27:55
SPEAKER_00: Nothing's going to happen to you.
27:57
SPEAKER_00: Just sit there for 15 minutes,
27:59
SPEAKER_00: turn on the timer and allow yourself with no substitution,
28:03
SPEAKER_00: but just you and your mind.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: And then the next thing is to do before planning.
28:12
SPEAKER_00: This is a bit counterintuitive.
28:13
SPEAKER_00: Usually we would say,
28:14
SPEAKER_00: plan on what you're going to do,
28:16
SPEAKER_00: draft it all out,
28:17
SPEAKER_00: and then jump and go ahead and do that.
28:20
SPEAKER_00: That's fine if that gets you going,
28:22
but sometimes it's actually useful to just fly off and shoot
28:27
from your hips.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: Just go ahead and get it started.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: So for example,
28:33
SPEAKER_00: if you have a topic about writing a certain topic,
28:38
let's say you're trying to write about why modern buildings are
28:42
built that way,
28:43
SPEAKER_00: you do not need to do the research first.
28:45
You could actually just go with the constraint of what you
28:49
already know or what you
28:51
SPEAKER_00: think you know,
28:53
SPEAKER_00: and just fire it up,
28:54
SPEAKER_00: do the outline,
28:56
SPEAKER_00: get it started.
28:57
And then after you've got that piece done where you squeeze all
29:02
the lemon juice out
29:03
SPEAKER_00: of whatever information you have in your mind prior,
29:07
SPEAKER_00: then go back and start doing the research.
29:11
SPEAKER_00: That is because you really are trying to get from point A to B first.
29:18
SPEAKER_00: Point A to B is the steepest slope.
29:22
SPEAKER_00: When you get that started, it feels really rewarding.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: The motivation would come from doing that.
29:30
SPEAKER_00: And then you can go B to C,
29:32
SPEAKER_00: which is doing a little bit more planning,
29:34
SPEAKER_00: mapping a little bit out,
29:36
SPEAKER_00: maybe even starting to tweak and to adjust and realize that,
29:40
SPEAKER_00: you know,
29:41
SPEAKER_00: you might've got some things wrong initially.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: This sounds relatively simple, isn't it?
29:46
SPEAKER_00: Just be bored when you're trying to get something done.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: But boredom is something that we experience as a form of psychic pain.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: Here is why boredom,
29:59
SPEAKER_00: giving yourself a fixed time and do before planning really helps with
30:04
SPEAKER_00: procrastination.
30:06
Tim Wilson and his colleagues did a really interesting study
30:10
with undergraduate
30:11
SPEAKER_00: students,
30:12
and they were basically asked to just sit in an empty room by
30:14
themselves with
30:15
SPEAKER_00: absolutely nothing to do and be alone with their own thoughts.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: But they had one other option,
30:23
SPEAKER_00: which was to zap themselves with a mile-level electrocution,
30:28
SPEAKER_00: pressing a shock button.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: Even though many said that they won't,
30:32
SPEAKER_00: but when they are asked to sit down with absolutely nothing to do,
30:36
SPEAKER_00: many of them end up hitting that button.
30:40
SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing.
30:41
SPEAKER_00: If you can train yourself to sit with no substitution,
30:47
SPEAKER_00: that is,
30:48
SPEAKER_00: no doing other things,
30:49
no doing the laundry or go wash the dishes or scroll through
30:54
your social media
30:54
SPEAKER_00: feeds,
30:56
SPEAKER_00: absolutely no substitution,
30:58
SPEAKER_00: Turn on a timer and do that for about 15 minutes.
31:04
Learn to sit with that before engaging on the project or the
31:09
task that you're about to do.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: This will really help you to get you started.
31:16
SPEAKER_00: So boredom 1%.
31:18
SPEAKER_00: about a situated time of 15 minutes.
31:22
And sometimes the pain of actually sitting with the bottom is
31:25
worse than actually
31:27
SPEAKER_00: doing the task at hand.
31:30
SPEAKER_00: You might just end up doing it straight away.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: So learn to bear with that.
31:34
Learn to sit down with no other things to distract or get your
31:40
attention focused on elsewhere.
31:42
SPEAKER_00: So if you're sitting down and you're trying to do some piece of writing,
31:46
SPEAKER_00: just stare at that screen,
31:48
SPEAKER_00: that blank page,
31:49
SPEAKER_00: let that cursor blink and blink as if it's trying to curse at you.
31:54
SPEAKER_00: But don't worry, it's not going to harm you.
31:57
SPEAKER_00: Nothing's going to happen to you.
31:58
SPEAKER_00: Just sit there for 15 minutes,
32:00
SPEAKER_00: turn on the timer and allow yourself with no substitution,
32:05
SPEAKER_00: but just you and your mind.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: On a side note,
32:11
Testing yourself and squeezing as much as you can before doing
32:15
any sort of learning
32:16
SPEAKER_00: or research is actually a really helpful way to increase your learning.
32:21
So this is sometimes called pre-testing in the learning
32:24
sciences instead of
32:26
SPEAKER_00: Learning for the test you are testing in order to know.
32:30
So when you test yourself based on your prior knowledge and you
32:34
try to squeeze and
32:37
try to think about all that you might remember or you might
32:40
have come across and
32:41
SPEAKER_00: then get into the material,
32:43
SPEAKER_00: you're more likely to be surprised,
32:44
especially if the facts that you learned were surprising or you
32:49
were wrong.
32:50
SPEAKER_00: So that's also helpful.
32:51
SPEAKER_00: But we are talking about procrastination.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: So the three things about how you can beat this common beast is boredom,
33:02
SPEAKER_00: giving yourself a fixed time,
33:05
SPEAKER_00: and do before you start planning.
33:19
SPEAKER_00: The late poet,
33:21
SPEAKER_00: theologian and philosopher John O'Donohue said,
33:25
SPEAKER_00: stress is a perverted relationship with time.
33:31
SPEAKER_00: Stress is a perverted relationship with time.
33:38
SPEAKER_00: Think of this in another way, stress as an equation.
33:43
SPEAKER_00: Stress equals time multiplied by expectation.
33:49
In other words,
33:51
it's the lack of time multiplied by an increase of expectation
33:58
on the self.
34:00
SPEAKER_00: So here's how you could deal with stress.
34:05
The first is aim to achieve less in a day so that you can
34:10
achieve more in a year.
34:14
One of the strategies about this is to do a multiplication of
34:19
1.5 times when you're
34:22
SPEAKER_00: trying to do an activity.
34:24
SPEAKER_00: This is one of my biggest struggles.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: I tend to believe that I can squeeze in more than I can manage in a day,
34:30
SPEAKER_00: especially the beginning of the morning.
34:34
SPEAKER_00: I imagine I can get more done than I really can.
34:37
So I usually take a piece of paper and I write down things that
34:40
I would like to aim
34:41
SPEAKER_00: for or get done.
34:43
SPEAKER_00: And this is usually unrealistic.
34:46
This is usually a sort of planning fallacy,
34:48
which we'll talk about more later.
34:51
Because of this planning fallacy,
34:53
I tend to schedule more than I can actually handle in a day.
34:59
SPEAKER_00: So consider your work activities.
35:01
Meetings often end later than schedule,
35:05
and that causes you to be late for the next appointment.
35:08
SPEAKER_00: This lateness then snowballs until the end of the day.
35:12
SPEAKER_00: Even your dinner gets delayed and even your bedtime gets delayed.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: You know,
35:17
SPEAKER_00: you sort of push for sleeping later and later,
35:19
SPEAKER_00: sometimes referred to as sort of a revenge nighttime,
35:23
SPEAKER_00: you know,
35:23
SPEAKER_00: where you're trying to squeeze in a little bit more.
35:26
A good method to inoculate yourself against this bias is to
35:31
multiply all your
35:32
SPEAKER_00: activities that you do roughly by 1.5 times.
35:36
SPEAKER_00: Some people actually multiply it by two.
35:39
SPEAKER_00: In other words,
35:40
SPEAKER_00: if I have a one hour meeting scheduled at,
35:43
SPEAKER_00: say,
35:44
SPEAKER_00: 9am,
35:44
SPEAKER_00: instead of locking in the next appointment at 10,
35:47
SPEAKER_00: I would block out 9 to 9.15.
35:52
SPEAKER_00: If the meeting ends on time,
35:53
SPEAKER_00: which is often a rare treat,
35:56
SPEAKER_00: take that time to consolidate key points from that encounter,
36:00
SPEAKER_00: that engagement,
36:02
SPEAKER_00: and get started on any follow-up.
36:03
SPEAKER_00: So even, God forbid, give yourself a little breather.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: I do this in my clinical practice now.
36:11
SPEAKER_00: So I start off the day at 9.30 seeing a person.
36:15
And then usually in the past,
36:17
what I do is I would schedule back-to-back like 10.30 and
36:19
11.30.
36:19
SPEAKER_00: But instead now I buffer everything with a 15-minute schedule.
36:26
SPEAKER_00: break in between,
36:27
which sort of gives me some time in case if the session spills
36:31
over or if it ends
36:32
SPEAKER_00: on time,
36:33
then I get a little breather or I take the time to consolidate
36:36
what I've discussed,
36:37
SPEAKER_00: write my notes and plan for the next person.
36:41
The second sub-component of this strategy about aiming to
36:45
achieve less than a day
36:46
so that you can achieve more in a year is to build white space
36:51
into your schedule.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: White space is the direct opposite of doing something.
36:59
SPEAKER_00: Build slack into your busy schedule.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: Treat it like any other event in your calendar.
37:06
SPEAKER_00: In fact, take a look at your schedule.
37:10
SPEAKER_00: See how many events are squashed back to back each day.
37:16
SPEAKER_00: Build some white space into your schedule so that you can breathe,
37:21
SPEAKER_00: you can live a little,
37:22
SPEAKER_00: and also paradoxically,
37:24
SPEAKER_00: you can get more things done,
37:26
SPEAKER_00: not in a day,
37:28
SPEAKER_00: but in the longer time span of even quarterly,
37:32
SPEAKER_00: half a year or a year.
37:36
SPEAKER_00: So far,
37:37
we've talked about this strategy of multiplying your activity
37:41
time by 1.5 and
37:44
SPEAKER_00: building in white space into your schedule.
37:48
SPEAKER_00: The second strategy is to take the view of stress as the following.
37:56
SPEAKER_00: Stress is not the problem.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: A lack of recovery is...
38:05
This is what Jim Lora and Tony Schwartz of the book The Power
38:10
of Full Engagement say.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: In order to build capacity,
38:15
SPEAKER_00: we must systematically expose ourselves to more stress,
38:21
SPEAKER_00: followed by adequate recovery.
38:25
SPEAKER_00: You see,
38:26
SPEAKER_00: most of us,
38:26
SPEAKER_00: when we start a day,
38:28
if you can imagine like an XY graph where X is the time and Y
38:34
is the stress level,
38:35
we kick off the day and stress sort of increases over time as
38:39
we try to get focused
38:41
and do multiple things at one time and straddle between our
38:44
phone and our laptop.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: And maybe when the message comes in,
38:46
SPEAKER_00: or then when you have another task,
38:48
SPEAKER_00: or then when an email bings,
38:50
SPEAKER_00: We try to stay focused on that and reply.
38:52
SPEAKER_00: And then where was I again?
38:55
SPEAKER_00: What was I working on?
38:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, we get scattered.
38:58
SPEAKER_00: And then finally,
39:00
SPEAKER_00: when we get into the flow of things,
39:02
we stay in our seats and we work and work and work and work
39:06
until when we are
39:07
SPEAKER_00: totally exhausted.
39:10
SPEAKER_00: What Jim Laura and Tony Schwartz recommend,
39:13
and I recommend you reading the book if you have a chance to
39:15
pick that up,
39:16
SPEAKER_00: is that it is not stressed as issue.
39:19
SPEAKER_00: It's the fact that we do not build in recovery periods.
39:24
SPEAKER_00: Recovery meaning taking a short stroll,
39:27
SPEAKER_00: going away for a short nap even,
39:30
or even just getting off your seat and doing some stretches or
39:34
relaxing your eye.
39:35
SPEAKER_00: Because
39:36
You know,
39:37
we have an amount of attentional energy,
39:41
metabolic energy that we can put all in.
39:43
And it's usually about 60 to 90 minutes for others who are able
39:48
to do that.
39:49
But because of sometimes when we get stuck into the groove,
39:52
we want to stay there.
39:54
SPEAKER_00: But we think that we are in the flow,
39:56
but actually we are burning out very quickly and we're
39:59
stretching ourselves too
40:00
SPEAKER_00: much.
40:01
SPEAKER_00: So it's always good to plan for the balance,
40:05
SPEAKER_00: like a rhythm of juxtaposition between stress and then recovery,
40:12
SPEAKER_00: stress and recovery.
40:14
SPEAKER_00: So now I have a clock that goes for an hour.
40:17
SPEAKER_00: And then when the clock finishes, it reminds me.
40:20
SPEAKER_00: that I need to step out,
40:21
SPEAKER_00: maybe even for five minutes,
40:23
SPEAKER_00: walk away,
40:24
SPEAKER_00: go get a drink,
40:25
SPEAKER_00: go for a toilet break,
40:26
SPEAKER_00: and then come back.
40:27
SPEAKER_00: I turn the clock again, and then the clock dials at a 16-minute span.
40:32
So if you're interested,
40:33
there are many digital tools like that that has a countdown
40:37
timer.
40:37
I would avoid using the phone because the phone has got other
40:41
sort of apps that may
40:42
SPEAKER_00: distract you from things.
40:44
SPEAKER_00: I use one called a time timer.
40:46
SPEAKER_00: I use this for myself, and I use this
40:48
My kids take it and use it as well when they need to stay
40:51
focused on doing certain
40:52
things to remind them when reading time is up so that they can
40:56
stop and they could
40:57
SPEAKER_00: go and do something else.
41:00
Professional athletes know this relationship between stress and
41:04
recovery.
41:05
SPEAKER_00: That is,
41:06
SPEAKER_00: you cannot be pushing yourself all the time without periods of recovery,
41:12
SPEAKER_00: because it is during the periods of recovery that actually we grow.
41:17
That's where we start to expand and we will start to have
41:20
muscular growth as well
41:22
SPEAKER_00: in those periods of recovery.
41:24
SPEAKER_00: But if it's stress all the time, you just run the risk of injury.
41:29
SPEAKER_00: So more concretely for you,
41:32
what I would suggest in this strategy is that you have periods
41:36
where you're in deep
41:38
SPEAKER_00: focus when you are working on something.
41:41
SPEAKER_00: Give yourself a specific time.
41:43
SPEAKER_00: And then when the alarm rings, take a break.
41:47
SPEAKER_00: Have periods of recovery.
41:49
SPEAKER_00: Go away from that environment for a little bit.
41:51
SPEAKER_00: Step out of the office if you have to.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: Go and take a walk.
41:55
SPEAKER_00: Go get a glass of water.
41:56
SPEAKER_00: Chat a little bit with your friends.
41:58
SPEAKER_00: Come back again at the work that you're doing.
42:03
SPEAKER_00: Now that we have looked at strategies to deal with stress,
42:07
SPEAKER_00: that is your relationship with time and expectation.
42:11
So you could multiply your activities by 1.5 and building in
42:15
white space and also
42:17
SPEAKER_00: understanding that stress in and of itself is not the issue.
42:21
SPEAKER_00: It is the lack of recovery.
42:23
SPEAKER_00: We need to start to think about why this is the case.
42:28
SPEAKER_00: So here's why.
42:31
SPEAKER_00: Another way of seeing this issue with stress,
42:34
SPEAKER_00: machines are harmed by low-level stressors,
42:38
SPEAKER_00: by material fatigue,
42:40
SPEAKER_00: and organisms are harmed by the absence of low-level stress,
42:46
SPEAKER_00: or homasis.
42:48
SPEAKER_00: This is taken from Nassim Talib's Anti-Fragile,
42:51
SPEAKER_00: and in Talib's framework,
42:52
SPEAKER_00: he describes three different categories,
42:56
SPEAKER_00: which is the fragile,
42:58
SPEAKER_00: the robust,
42:59
SPEAKER_00: and the anti-fragile.
43:01
SPEAKER_00: So this is what he has to say about fragility.
43:04
SPEAKER_00: Things that are vulnerable and are weakened by stressors and shocks.
43:08
SPEAKER_00: They break under pressure.
43:10
SPEAKER_00: Robustness.
43:12
Things that are resilient and can handle or withstand stress
43:17
without being
43:18
SPEAKER_00: significantly affected.
43:20
SPEAKER_00: They remain unchanged, minimally impacted.
43:24
SPEAKER_00: Anti-fragile.
43:26
is where things that are not only being able to withstand
43:29
stress and volatility,
43:32
SPEAKER_00: but actually improve and gain from such experiences,
43:36
SPEAKER_00: they become stronger,
43:38
SPEAKER_00: more resilient,
43:40
SPEAKER_00: and better adapt to uncertainty.
43:44
SPEAKER_00: Wind extinguishes a candle and energizes fire.
43:50
SPEAKER_00: We need to take up that perspective of what it means to be anti-fragile.
43:57
But that means that our relationship with time and expectation
44:02
has to also evolve
44:04
SPEAKER_00: along with that.
44:06
SPEAKER_00: You know, the Japanese have a word for working yourself to death.
44:12
SPEAKER_00: They call that karoshi.
44:14
Karoshi is describing those men in Tokyo where they will be
44:19
working themselves
44:21
SPEAKER_00: really long hours.
44:22
SPEAKER_00: And then in the middle of the night,
44:24
SPEAKER_00: as they're walking down the street,
44:25
SPEAKER_00: they just collapse out of sheer overexhaustion,
44:29
SPEAKER_00: probably from cardiac arrest,
44:32
SPEAKER_00: and they pass away.
44:34
SPEAKER_00: We don't want Kuroshi for ourselves.
44:37
SPEAKER_00: And for the sake of people we love,
44:39
we do also have to take care of ourselves and not to push
44:42
ourselves like that.
44:44
You know,
44:45
we attempt to lead at the speed of life as if we can travel in
44:49
the speed of light.
44:51
SPEAKER_00: But the speed of life does not move at the speed of light.
44:56
SPEAKER_00: This,
44:57
SPEAKER_00: you know,
44:58
has only dawned on me recently in my life and my attempts to
45:01
deal with stresses was
45:03
SPEAKER_00: in a civilized 21st century approach to living is to speed things up,
45:08
SPEAKER_00: to go faster,
45:10
SPEAKER_00: read faster,
45:11
SPEAKER_00: write faster,
45:11
SPEAKER_00: do things more efficiently,
45:13
SPEAKER_00: you know,
45:14
SPEAKER_00: even get the kids to bed even faster so that they could get enough sleep.
45:18
SPEAKER_00: But all this adds up and mounts a lot of pressure.
45:24
SPEAKER_00: Worse still, I've become impatient with other people in my life.
45:29
People who were walking slow,
45:32
people who were late,
45:33
people who were blocking my way.
45:35
SPEAKER_00: I mean,
45:35
SPEAKER_00: the truth is I was becoming agitated with the people I love in my family,
45:40
SPEAKER_00: my wife and kids,
45:42
SPEAKER_00: simply because in hindsight,
45:43
SPEAKER_00: they weren't traveling in the same speed as I was.
45:49
SPEAKER_00: I remember when my daughter was five years old,
45:52
I remember very distinctively that my five-year-old at that
45:55
time has a very
45:57
SPEAKER_00: different concept of time.
45:59
SPEAKER_00: It takes a fair amount of time to get ready and to go out.
46:07
If we just pause and reflect that something's not quite right
46:13
to live life at the
46:15
SPEAKER_00: speed of light.
46:18
SPEAKER_00: Therein lies the paradox.
46:20
SPEAKER_00: Time speeds up when we are rushing.
46:25
We see much more when we are walking by a same familiar street
46:30
than we are driving
46:31
SPEAKER_00: by in the comforts of our car.
46:34
SPEAKER_00: So I'm grappling with this daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.
46:39
SPEAKER_00: This happens.
46:41
SPEAKER_00: And the plan,
46:43
the thing that we have to do is to subvert this urgency so that
46:49
we can be part of
46:51
SPEAKER_00: life and we can catch our breath.
46:55
SPEAKER_00: The other issue,
46:56
SPEAKER_00: as I kind of mentioned earlier in the strategy,
46:59
SPEAKER_00: is this thing of planning fallacy.
47:01
SPEAKER_00: This is a cognitive bias that many of us face.
47:04
SPEAKER_00: I know I face this.
47:05
SPEAKER_00: So for example,
47:06
SPEAKER_00: like the last book that I wrote,
47:08
SPEAKER_00: Crossing Between Walls,
47:10
when I sat down to make the plans of how much time and what
47:15
needs to be done from
47:17
SPEAKER_00: the writing of the manuscript
47:19
SPEAKER_00: the editing process with Sean Michalik,
47:21
SPEAKER_00: my editor,
47:23
SPEAKER_00: and also the book design recording of the audio book.
47:28
SPEAKER_00: I thought,
47:28
SPEAKER_00: you know,
47:28
SPEAKER_00: give and take,
47:29
SPEAKER_00: the draft,
47:31
SPEAKER_00: the first pass could be done,
47:33
SPEAKER_00: you know,
47:33
SPEAKER_00: within nine months or 12 months.
47:37
SPEAKER_00: But the truth is,
47:38
it took me close to three years to finish that and three and a
47:42
half years for the
47:43
SPEAKER_00: whole process to be done.
47:44
SPEAKER_00: And this is not the first time I'm writing a book.
47:48
SPEAKER_00: This is probably my sixth book.
47:50
And it's still,
47:51
you know,
47:51
I still fall into this sort of planning fallacy.
47:55
Which is why the strategy of buffering by multiplying 1.5 more
48:02
times seems to help.
48:03
SPEAKER_00: I probably need to multiply bigger projects by twice, actually.
48:08
But for the daily sort of stuff,
48:09
you could think about multiplying by 1.5 times.
48:13
The other issue that causes us stress is actually,
48:16
strangely,
48:17
the cost of interrupted work.
48:20
A famous study published to show that when we are trying to
48:24
focus on something,
48:25
SPEAKER_00: it takes about 20 to 30 minutes before we are locked in.
48:30
SPEAKER_00: And can you imagine when there's a lack of singular focus?
48:35
SPEAKER_00: Primarily because our digital devices,
48:38
SPEAKER_00: say our laptops,
48:40
SPEAKER_00: are not primary functional devices,
48:42
SPEAKER_00: meaning they don't operate like a typewriter.
48:44
SPEAKER_00: There's like one single thing that you're doing.
48:47
SPEAKER_00: It has our emails,
48:49
SPEAKER_00: it has our messaging services,
48:50
SPEAKER_00: it has our music devices,
48:52
SPEAKER_00: and all of things that we could be doing.
48:56
SPEAKER_00: So we get interrupted all the time.
48:59
SPEAKER_00: That is why protecting your attention to focus on a singular thing,
49:04
SPEAKER_00: to get into a state of flow,
49:06
SPEAKER_00: which usually is more than 20 to 30 minutes,
49:08
SPEAKER_00: it's really critical.
49:10
SPEAKER_00: This is important that you protect your attention that way.
49:14
Simon Sinek says,
49:16
working hard for something you don't care about is called
49:20
stress.
49:21
SPEAKER_00: Working hard for something we care about is called passion.
49:26
SPEAKER_00: That's quite well said.
49:28
SPEAKER_00: You know,
49:29
SPEAKER_00: when you're working at something that you care about,
49:31
SPEAKER_00: you're less likely to feel like it's meaningless,
49:35
SPEAKER_00: where there's no purpose in doing that.
49:38
SPEAKER_00: More on this in the section on purpose.
49:55
SPEAKER_00: This has been a sneak preview to HomeKit,
49:58
SPEAKER_00: a whisper in your ear,
50:00
just-in-time audio companion to help you get unstuck in sticky
50:03
situations.
50:05
SPEAKER_00: For more,
50:05
SPEAKER_00: you could subscribe to my other Substack,
50:08
SPEAKER_00: which is at fullcircles.substack.com,
50:12
where I provide you my feel notes of my reflections of the
50:16
inner and outer life.
50:18
SPEAKER_00: And there's more to come in HomeKit.
50:21
SPEAKER_00: Other topics would be available in due time.
50:24
SPEAKER_00: Topics such as dealing with social anxiety,
50:29
SPEAKER_00: burnout,
50:31
SPEAKER_00: creating process,
50:32
SPEAKER_00: how to help you even with public speaking,
50:35
SPEAKER_00: dealing with self-criticism,
50:37
SPEAKER_00: and so on.
50:38
SPEAKER_00: More to come on this.
50:40
So to stay tuned,
50:41
you will be able to get this if you subscribe to HomeKit,
50:45
SPEAKER_00: HomeKit, once again, the URL is darylchown.com slash HomeKit.
50:51
SPEAKER_00: And if you want to use the promo code,
50:53
SPEAKER_00: which is available till the end of tomorrow on the 12th of October,
50:58
SPEAKER_00: 2025,
50:59
SPEAKER_00: you could key that in to get a 25% off.
51:03
Just key in full circles VIP once again,
51:07
F U L L C I R C L E S VIP all in one string.
51:14
And I was told you should type this in full caps as well to get
51:17
this as a 25% off.
51:19
SPEAKER_00: Once again, the promo code expires on the 12th of October.
51:23
I hope you find this useful for your work and working with
51:28
people you care about
51:29
SPEAKER_00: with your clients.
51:31
SPEAKER_00: And if you have any thoughts about this,
51:33
SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear your feedback through the Substack platform.
51:37
SPEAKER_00: If you could let me know how this has been for you.
51:41
SPEAKER_00: And if there are other topics that you'd like to be covered as well,
51:44
SPEAKER_00: please feel free to note it down in there.
51:49
Once again,
51:49
a big thank you for tuning in to Frontiers of Psychotherapists
51:54
Development.