Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 102. Simple hosting tricks, human connection, and starting before you’re “ready” with Emily Shimwell

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102. Simple hosting tricks, human connection, and starting before you’re “ready” with Emily Shimwell · All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting

• 0:05
  This is all figured out. I'm Andrea Barr.
• 0:07
  I'm a career coach for parents, a mom of two, and I absolutely
• 0:11
  believe that you can continue to grow personally and
• 0:13
  professionally while protecting family time.
• 0:19
  This podcast is about figuring things out as we go, career
• 0:22
  moves, parenting curveballs, and just figuring out how to keep
• 0:25
  your priorities straight. You'll hear solo episodes with
• 0:28
  practical takeaways from myself as a career coach, and I'll have
• 0:32
  guests on for unfiltered, raw conversations about how people
• 0:36
  are just making everything work as professionals and as parents.
• 0:41
  Think of this as real talk to help you keep your priorities
• 0:44
  straight. If you're navigating work life
• 0:47
  and parenting and you want a little creativity, a little
• 0:50
  community, and some confidence, you're in the right place.
• 0:53
  Welcome to the All Figured Out podcast.
• 1:02
  Emily Schimmel, thanks for coming on the All Figured Out
• 1:05
  podcast. Thank you.
• 1:06
  Yay, in person we have the best meat.
• 1:12
  Cute. OK, do you want to?
• 1:15
  Tell it, or should I? You tell it.
• 1:17
  OK so here I am at the scene. I feel like I want to look at
• 1:21
  the camera. I'm not normally like that's so
• 1:23
  funny. I wanna like just eye in and
• 1:24
  just OK. So here I am texting.
• 1:30
  No, let me back it up. I'm going to this event, Bloom
• 1:32
  Business Collective, a beautiful space for budding or
• 1:36
  entrepreneurs who want to create community.
• 1:38
  Just giving them a little shout out first.
• 1:40
  So I'm going to their summer party.
• 1:42
  I'm walking down the street simultaneously.
• 1:44
  Probably shouldn't be doing this texting my girlfriend Abby.
• 1:48
  Abby said come to this brunch at this girls house that I know.
• 1:52
  I said sure, why not because I agree with things like that and
• 1:58
  I and I'm laughing, but I had heard your name many a time.
• 2:02
  I had been sent some of your events and I said this sounds
• 2:06
  great. I would love to do that.
• 2:08
  Remind me again who this woman is, she explains.
• 2:11
  So I see this woman walking down the street wearing a beautiful
• 2:14
  dress, just like ethereal looking just like it's almost
• 2:18
  like I pictured the the wind was just like tossing your hair
• 2:22
  around and you're like beautiful dress was just like flowing.
• 2:25
  And I was like, she's beautiful, but she looks very lost.
• 2:31
  So I approach you and I kind of gave you that knowing look like
• 2:35
  you OK sweetie. I said, are you going to the
• 2:38
  bloom? I think we said at the same time
• 2:40
  and you said yes, I'm going there.
• 2:42
  Great. We start walking up towards the
• 2:43
  door. I said I know where it is.
• 2:45
  And then you started talking. I had never even heard you talk
• 2:49
  on social media or anything. And I you said I came down from
• 2:52
  Squamish and I said, huh? And I said, what is your
• 2:55
  business? I think that's exactly what what
• 2:57
  is your business? Such a weird way of asking it.
• 3:01
  And you're like, oh, I have dined Wilder.
• 3:05
  And I was like, I'm sorry, what? I 30 seconds ago had been
• 3:11
  reading the message, hadn't even replied to Addie Abby's
• 3:13
  daughters, Abby. And lo and behold, I met the
• 3:18
  woman whose event I was going to be going to the following Sunday
• 3:21
  at her house. And I just happened to meet you
• 3:24
  on A St. And now here we.
• 3:29
  Are and now here we are. Two weeks.
• 3:30
  Left two weeks after that. I mean, we are going to be
• 3:33
  talking today about starting before you're ready, getting
• 3:37
  shit done. And this is like the epitome to
• 3:41
  that I was drawn to the second I met you.
• 3:44
  You're such a freaking cool business.
• 3:46
  You've done amazing things since having children is when this
• 3:49
  whole thing is blown up, which is even more fun and badass.
• 3:53
  So thank you. Thank you for your openness.
• 3:58
  Thanks for a good story. Thank you for having me and
• 4:01
  thank you for coming to the brunch on Sunday.
• 4:03
  And you hosted at the beautiful brunch, which ended up being,
• 4:06
  you said that it was supposed to be this like very intimate, no
• 4:10
  fuss. Well, they were supposed to be
• 4:13
  extremely casual in my garden under the Willow tree to bring
• 4:17
  it all full circle from where the first brunch was a year ago.
• 4:21
  And then we've been blanketed with smoke in Squamish.
• 4:25
  Everywhere actually, but especially in Squamish and some
• 4:28
  very quickly. We had to pivot 3 days before
• 4:31
  and a local cafe just changed ownership and said come on in
• 4:35
  again. Serendipity.
• 4:37
  Dine Wilder is on our, um, vision part.
• 4:42
  So yes, come, come in in three days time.
• 4:45
  So that's what we did. OHS.
• 4:47
  Perfect. So beautiful and it was such.
• 4:50
  You host such a beautiful event. It's so intentional without
• 4:54
  being ostentatious or like frilly for the sake of it.
• 4:58
  It was just very intentional. I think that's the word that I
• 5:01
  would use. You walk in your hand in a
• 5:04
  drink, you're greeted by somebody that was you and one of
• 5:07
  your staff. So you were not just walking in,
• 5:10
  especially if you're there solo. I was with Abby and it was just
• 5:14
  this beautiful community and space and it was cozy and there
• 5:17
  was linen napkins and live burning candles that were like
• 5:22
  dripping wax onto the table where there was a moment where I
• 5:25
  was like, God, is that problematic?
• 5:27
  Is it going? And I'm like just like go.
• 5:29
  Yeah. It's just, it was beautiful.
• 5:32
  Thank you. How many events since your one
• 5:34
  year anniversary have you hosted?
• 5:37
  Um, we have probably done official events, probably like
• 5:43
  15, but it's more the guests that I look at.
• 5:46
  I think we've had 542 guests at the dinner table.
• 5:50
  Um, I was trying to work out how many candles that we'd lit and I
• 5:54
  think I'll play settings cutlery.
• 5:57
  There's like 1690 sets of cutlery we've done and a heck of
• 6:03
  a lot of terrified candles and dripping wax on tablecloths.
• 6:08
  Um. And that is kind of my whole
• 6:12
  ethos in life is just get it done, make all the mistakes up
• 6:17
  front and the learnings as fast as you possibly can.
• 6:20
  And now it feels like we're in Year 3 when actually we've only
• 6:23
  just celebrated our one year on Sunday, but it feels like we've
• 6:26
  gained so much knowledge really, really quickly.
• 6:29
  It's, it is really unbelievable because I'm not just saying it
• 6:33
  because you've said it like I couldn't believe I knew I didn't
• 6:37
  really know what I was attending.
• 6:38
  I'm going to be honest. And then there's one outside of
• 6:40
  the, the brunch and then I walk in and you're like, we're
• 6:43
  celebrating 1. And I was like, oh, right.
• 6:45
  I forgot that detail because I, I don't really know you very
• 6:47
  well, but I'd heard of your business and I could have sworn
• 6:50
  I've been hearing about Diane Wilder for years.
• 6:54
  There's something about it that feels like if your spiritual
• 6:57
  that it's like it's been there, it's been within you forever.
• 7:01
  I also felt terrible putting that balloon up because I
• 7:04
  realized I've never bought my children a balloon for their
• 7:06
  birthday and to me it was like, of course we have to get a
• 7:09
  balloon for. The gold foil balloon.
• 7:13
  Are you against balloons? No.
• 7:16
  No, it just happened to you, but for the business, let's
• 7:21
  celebrate. I will also say I've been over
• 7:23
  hosting lately so I have this very Husky voice going on as you
• 7:27
  can probably. Go adorable Yorkshire accent
• 7:30
  with a Husky. I love it.
• 7:32
  I'm the Canadians are here for it.
• 7:34
  The Americans do. I get so self-conscious about my
• 7:37
  accent and it's funny that you said I didn't know how you
• 7:39
  sounded. So many people say you need to
• 7:42
  show up more on camera and share the accent.
• 7:45
  But at the very beginning we were asking people for feedback
• 7:48
  on the events and somebody had wrote and it stuck with me.
• 7:52
  And it's not what I believe in and I take everything with a
• 7:55
  pinch of salt. And if you were telling me, I
• 7:57
  would tell you to ignore it. But it definitely planted the
• 8:00
  seed. Someone row.
• 8:02
  We were blindsided by her accent and we wish we didn't known kind
• 8:07
  of what we were coming to listen to accent wise.
• 8:11
  Why I know. That is the most read if you are
• 8:14
  watching and that was you like check yourself.
• 8:18
  It's stuck with me though. I think I'm more fun to this
• 8:21
  little insecurity about sharing my accent.
• 8:24
  But it seems to be that all Canadians love a British accent.
• 8:27
  Yes, they love a non Canadian or second accent.
• 8:31
  Oh my. I had somebody on the podcast,
• 8:34
  Mark Machen, he's from outside London I believe, and he said
• 8:38
  that's the only. Reason why he thinks.
• 8:40
  He's done well in business. Again, that's because people
• 8:42
  think he's smarter than he actually is.
• 8:44
  He is a brilliant human. He's an engineer.
• 8:47
  He was former military for the British Army, so you know he
• 8:51
  knows this shit. But he's also still there, so he
• 8:52
  probably speaks like the Queen's English does nothing.
• 8:55
  So it's a little bit. Different than speak Queens
• 8:57
  English. So that extra perhaps that Oh my
• 9:02
  goodness, I wanna I wanna ask you.
• 9:04
  You have the best me cute. You were just telling me that
• 9:06
  your husband, now husband you met when you were 17, every
• 9:11
  parent's absolute nightmare. He said he's moving to Australia
• 9:14
  and you said I'll come too. And we don't still know if it
• 9:17
  was a formal invite, Really. I just thought, yeah, come.
• 9:22
  So then you do go to Australia again.
• 9:24
  Every parent who's listening is worst fucking nightmare that you
• 9:28
  left and never returned. Never returned.
• 9:31
  We've only visited a handful of times.
• 9:35
  Yeah. And now I don't actually feel
• 9:37
  this real connection to home anymore.
• 9:39
  I like even saying home feels a bit strange to me.
• 9:43
  Yeah. We moved so many times in quick
• 9:45
  succession as is like everything that we do like I do.
• 9:50
  Um. I feel really connected to
• 9:52
  Christchurch, to Perth, to Sydney, Melbourne.
• 9:55
  I've kind of planted roots in all of these places so sometimes
• 9:59
  I feel like a bit of an impostor talking about the UK or people
• 10:04
  mention the way of life there in business are and I've not
• 10:06
  experienced that. I don't know Um, so yeah, I do
• 10:10
  need to go though, because nobody has met my smallest babe
• 10:15
  wealth who is going to turn 3 soon.
• 10:18
  So do you need to go at some point?
• 10:19
  But. They can also visit.
• 10:21
  Yeah. So you moved, so you've moved
• 10:24
  and created routes in all these different places.
• 10:26
  And what is the through line with hospitality?
• 10:28
  I know hospitality is within you.
• 10:31
  It is part of your DNA it seems like.
• 10:34
  Where did that come from? It does feel like it's running
• 10:37
  through my veins. Anything to do with serving or
• 10:40
  making people feel a certain way.
• 10:44
  Even as I was driving here, I was thinking like, when does
• 10:46
  that go back to? And there's no clear memory
• 10:48
  because it just feels like it is.
• 10:51
  Um, when I was 6, I definitely know that my mum would come in
• 10:55
  with the shopping and I would rush over to the bags before she
• 11:00
  even emptied them and be making a chart in my own little way of
• 11:04
  every single thing that she bought.
• 11:06
  And then I would go and make menus and I would spend all of
• 11:10
  my pocket money, like, you know, a pound a week or whatever on
• 11:14
  receipt books, on stationery, anything to do with running a
• 11:19
  cafe. And then if I heard anyone go to
• 11:22
  the kitchen, I would run in and put my pinny on my apron on.
• 11:26
  And I would insist on making the cup of tea or whatever it was
• 11:29
  and then charging my mum again for the groceries.
• 11:34
  I love it. But I just loved serving, and I
• 11:38
  always remember saying that I would always have a cafe or be a
• 11:43
  wedding planner. And the epiphany I've just had
• 11:46
  walking in is actually down. Wilder blends the two things.
• 11:50
  You're planning these beautiful events, but you're also kind of
• 11:53
  just running a, a pop up restaurant while you are mobile.
• 11:57
  Yeah. So it's both things.
• 11:59
  But I just like how you can make someone feel a certain way and
• 12:04
  change their whole day without it costing anything as well.
• 12:09
  And so I remember I would get the bus to college and then
• 12:14
  actually like, I would wave my mom off, pretend I was going to
• 12:18
  college. And then I would go and work at
• 12:19
  the local pub, get changed into All Blacks and I would just work
• 12:23
  like 40-50 hours a week there and became obsessed with it and
• 12:27
  had the most amazing mentor in the owner of that pub who showed
• 12:31
  me what unreasonable hospitality looks like.
• 12:34
  And I saw how everyone that walked in the door in that pub,
• 12:38
  the food was delicious. But everyone came because of how
• 12:41
  Trudy made them feel. And I have reached out to her in
• 12:45
  the last year to say I don't think you understand how much
• 12:48
  impact you had on me and how she would only settle for a certain
• 12:52
  standard of service. But it wasn't about fine dining
• 12:56
  or the cutlery being perfectly lined up, it was how you would
• 12:59
  make the person feel. And to your point of when people
• 13:02
  walk in the door and you're welcomed with a cuddle and a
• 13:06
  glass of anything, something in your hand and taken your course,
• 13:11
  that's what it was like at the beer house where I first worked.
• 13:14
  And then it's just kind of weaved its way all the way
• 13:17
  through every time I would try and get a proper job, whatever
• 13:21
  that is, you know? Um.
• 13:25
  I've helped manage shopping malls and all different things.
• 13:28
  Sold jet boats at Sydney Harbour like the Moores.
• 13:31
  Random things. I would always have a
• 13:33
  hospitality job on an evening as well.
• 13:35
  Not for the money, just because I was obsessed with serving
• 13:39
  tables. What was it that Trudy taught
• 13:43
  you to do? Like what are some examples of
• 13:46
  just how, how do you even still that?
• 13:49
  I know there's some people that could might be listening.
• 13:51
  They're like, but what? What if I'm not like that?
• 13:54
  What if that's not me? What if I'm more introverted?
• 13:57
  How do you bring someone in and make them feel welcome and give
• 14:01
  them unreasonable hospitality? She would definitely not
• 14:06
  necessarily teach and perhaps lots of people worked for that,
• 14:09
  didn't pick up on it, but I was just like a sponge around her.
• 14:14
  And she would always remember something about the customer
• 14:19
  that had walked in the regular. Like that the dog was at the
• 14:22
  vets the week before that their grandma's sick, that, you know,
• 14:26
  their daughters doing her exams or whatever, and then ask them a
• 14:30
  question the week after. And you would always have to
• 14:33
  remember their drink. Everyone orders the same drink
• 14:36
  every time they walk in. I actually purposely let the
• 14:39
  service pick my food and my drink choice everywhere I go.
• 14:43
  I just love to be surprised. But I know most people tend to
• 14:46
  order the same thing. So I think it's important that
• 14:49
  you remember that with Diane because so many people are
• 14:53
  strangers that call mother come on their own.
• 14:56
  The checkout process when you're purchasing a ticket, it's really
• 14:59
  intentional. And although I'm very
• 15:01
  extroverted, I really want to make it so that the most
• 15:05
  introverted person can come and feel safe.
• 15:08
  And so there's moments where they can share that with me.
• 15:11
  And so they're on my radar straight away, like, oh, I'll
• 15:14
  tell the servers, like this person's coming.
• 15:17
  She's never been to anything like this.
• 15:18
  She's so introverted. This is such a big deal.
• 15:22
  Don't say anything, but make sure she gets extra care.
• 15:26
  Introduce her to someone else. I think the worst thing is if
• 15:29
  you walk in somewhere and you don't have the confidence to
• 15:33
  talk to the room, you need to be guided by the horse to be
• 15:37
  introduced to someone. Yeah, you know.
• 15:40
  Yes, ah, I could talk about this topic for forever.
• 15:45
  So my parents are incredible hosts.
• 15:50
  I did not. I'm not kidding.
• 15:51
  I didn't understand it or recognize it until very recently
• 15:55
  because I thought that unreasonable hospitality was the
• 16:00
  norm. Like I never really.
• 16:02
  There was times where I've gone places and I felt uncomfortable
• 16:06
  or didn't feel great, but I would always put that all back
• 16:10
  on myself and say, oh, I was in a funky mood.
• 16:12
  But now I kind of do. Think back to certain situations
• 16:15
  where the host is cleaning up while you're still there.
• 16:18
  They've gotten up and they're. And it's not one of those
• 16:20
  situations where it was the right time.
• 16:23
  Yeah. It almost felt like it was
• 16:25
  rushing. Yeah.
• 16:26
  The evening and the experience and.
• 16:28
  And I think back and my parents were just always an open door to
• 16:32
  have the gathering to host the gathering.
• 16:34
  There was no measuring of tablecloths.
• 16:36
  It was like we would pick what was on the table sub crazy
• 16:41
  runners that my mom's quilted that are beautiful.
• 16:43
  But like not like doesn't matter, doesn't know it.
• 16:47
  But everything was so intentional.
• 16:49
  And my mom and stepdad have always said be very careful
• 16:53
  mixing friends. So I'm very curious to actually
• 16:57
  hear your take on that. And I won't say anymore, but
• 17:01
  what what is your take on like mixing people and how you do
• 17:05
  that? I think it's amazing and it can
• 17:09
  make invite people to step out their comfort zones.
• 17:14
  I will say it needs to be a balance of almost the whole.
• 17:18
  It's better if the whole room doesn't know one another.
• 17:21
  It's quite exclusive, excluding if there's a group of people who
• 17:26
  have asked to sit next to each other and then you've got people
• 17:29
  dotted in there that don't know anyone and I've watched that
• 17:32
  happen a couple of times. Again, the learnings that come
• 17:35
  from just whipping these dinners out in such quick succession.
• 17:38
  At the beginning we would set 3 hours aside the next morning
• 17:42
  after every single dinner. The photographer, my right hand
• 17:45
  woman, Kaylee, the servers, the chef, anyone involved.
• 17:49
  We would sit down at a local coffee shop and just pick apart
• 17:52
  the night. Every single detail, from the
• 17:55
  way we parted the water to the way we packed the car when we
• 17:58
  loaded out everything. No way.
• 18:01
  Oh yeah, everything. I'm very like winging it.
• 18:05
  But then I also want to assess what we've just done.
• 18:08
  Otherwise there's no point in doing them in such quick
• 18:10
  succession. You need the learnings, and that
• 18:14
  was one of them that came up at the beginning.
• 18:16
  A lot of people were asking to sit next to someone that they
• 18:19
  knew. If you have to, just be really
• 18:21
  careful that there's a really fair balance of strangers as
• 18:24
  well. Yes, and I think maybe in that
• 18:26
  situation, there has to be an expectation set ahead of time.
• 18:30
  People don't. You and I, we're two peas in a
• 18:33
  pod. We both love to be surprised.
• 18:35
  I love a surprise. I love an outlandish question.
• 18:38
  I love being interviewed. And just like getting thrown in
• 18:40
  the deep end, most people aren't like that.
• 18:42
  Most people don't want to show up to an event and be like, I
• 18:45
  have no idea what to expect. I have no idea if I can sit with
• 18:47
  my friend. If the person's going with a
• 18:49
  friend, they expect to sit with their friend and then they're
• 18:52
  not seems to be pissed off, Right.
• 18:54
  It's just the expectation versus the reality.
• 18:56
  And yeah, there's really something there about it.
• 18:58
  Sounds like you've really done a great job setting that
• 19:01
  expectation to say you can come if you are solo.
• 19:05
  And I'm going to ask you a question about that so that, you
• 19:08
  know, I'm looking out for you and that, you know, other people
• 19:11
  might be solo too because it's invited in that space.
• 19:14
  But there is, it's so true. It's like having a, if you're
• 19:16
  hosting a dinner party with six couples and then you invite
• 19:19
  that, that seventh couple in who don't know anybody, It's like so
• 19:25
  well intended, but you have to be really explicit with that
• 19:28
  seventh couple to say, I know you're not know anybody, but I
• 19:30
  really think you're gonna hit it off.
• 19:32
  And other people need to know, too.
• 19:34
  Yeah. And I think also as the horse,
• 19:36
  you then need to take responsibility, yes, for
• 19:39
  including them and giving a little bit of prior preparation
• 19:43
  of what are the golden threads between them and how can you
• 19:46
  trigger the conversation while you're running back and forth to
• 19:49
  the kitchen to host. It's so true versus it becoming
• 19:53
  the six couples talking about all their stories from when they
• 19:55
  went to Cabo together and then and it happens, we've all done.
• 19:59
  It cost. And you just get into this
• 20:01
  rabbit hole and everyone's looking around being like, how
• 20:03
  did we end up here? Or the family that doesn't have
• 20:05
  kids and all of a sudden you're talking about kids.
• 20:07
  But I love that, that ownership. I feel like you have a real
• 20:09
  sense of personal responsibility.
• 20:11
  It seems like for, yeah, I'm going to launch this this Dine
• 20:15
  business really fast, but I'm going to take responsibility for
• 20:18
  elevating it the next time and learning from it, which I think
• 20:21
  is. Definitely.
• 20:23
  And I think if you throw your hands off and like, I'm not
• 20:26
  claiming to know anything, all I'm claiming is that I love
• 20:30
  meeting strangers, connecting people.
• 20:33
  And I'm trying to find a way to do that in a format that I'm
• 20:38
  told that everyone isn't possible to make it a profitable
• 20:41
  business. And I think it might be.
• 20:43
  There's just a lot of learnings with it to try and get to that
• 20:46
  point. Because I think hosting
• 20:48
  historically is something a woman would do.
• 20:51
  She would open up her home on a Saturday night and it's for fun.
• 20:55
  But I think if you're serving so many people and the connections
• 20:59
  that we've seen happen at the dinner tables, the businesses
• 21:02
  that have been started, their mum grit, like all the different
• 21:04
  things, it is a service that you're providing, yes, and it
• 21:09
  can be profitable. Yes, and it should be.
• 21:12
  Yeah. It's just a different way.
• 21:14
  Why do we only have the casual dinner party at the home with
• 21:17
  the Mason jar that your children have picked the flowers?
• 21:19
  You're telling me adorable or a Michelin star restaurant.
• 21:23
  It really feels like there's this dichotomy right now where
• 21:26
  you have to choose to go out and minimum $200.
• 21:29
  Boom, you and your partner have spent or you're hacking together
• 21:33
  take out with friends. Like, why does it feel like
• 21:34
  there's no in between, right? Now.
• 21:37
  And I think you're doing that like you're creating
• 21:40
  experiences. And what I think you're doing
• 21:41
  with that too is it? I think you're inspiring those
• 21:43
  of us who want to host and we're going to get into this too, who
• 21:47
  feel like it's super overwhelming.
• 21:48
  This is a podcast for parents and all these parents are
• 21:50
  listening being like, I want to host with Unreasonable
• 21:54
  Hospitality. And sometimes they might have
• 21:57
  these mental blockers of being like, I'm not making enough
• 22:00
  money. I can't serve the the real
• 22:02
  steak. What if I serve the flank steak
• 22:04
  or the pork? And that's a cheap way of
• 22:06
  hosting. Does that reflect poorly?
• 22:08
  You know, these stories we make up my house isn't perfect.
• 22:11
  We haven't done that thing we wanted to do and we put these
• 22:14
  blockers. But what I think you're doing is
• 22:15
  you're taking a coffee shop that apparently had a million and a
• 22:18
  half plants all over it. And you turned it into this
• 22:22
  beautiful experience with intentionality, with linen
• 22:27
  napkins that I'm sure weren't crazy expensive, and beautiful
• 22:30
  pastries that, again, weren't Michelin pastries.
• 22:33
  They were delicious because it was in a beautiful environment.
• 22:36
  And that's the beauty of dying as well.
• 22:38
  It's not just in a restaurant, it's in places that you'd never
• 22:42
  think to eat. I can't walk in somewhere, be at
• 22:44
  the bookstore, the bang, the hairdressers, and imagine a long
• 22:47
  table. All I want to do is put a long
• 22:49
  table and some tapered candles everywhere that you would never
• 22:54
  think to eat and make it look beautiful.
• 22:56
  Yes. How did you how did you know to
• 22:59
  just or how did you get that Don't even know gumption to be
• 23:04
  like, I'm just gonna try this. I'm gonna start before I feel
• 23:07
  quote UN quote ready because again, that is the most real
• 23:10
  thing with ambitious parents who are listening, who are like,
• 23:13
  I've got this idea, but I'm not ready.
• 23:16
  How the hell did you do it? I think you realized that you're
• 23:20
  never ready. There's never going to be a
• 23:22
  Mormon where you think you're ready.
• 23:24
  And if you do ever reach that Mormon, which I've never found,
• 23:30
  someone else has probably already started it.
• 23:32
  And then you've probably watched the dream happen for somebody
• 23:35
  else. I've heard that so many times.
• 23:37
  We were going to start this. Yeah.
• 23:38
  And I think, do you know what? You'd have been so much better
• 23:41
  than I was at the beginning because you had it all planned
• 23:44
  out. You had the perfect business
• 23:45
  plan, all the strategy. I had none of it.
• 23:48
  But now we're a year in, I've got it.
• 23:50
  And you can sit and strategise as much as you want, but until
• 23:53
  you watch, in my case, humans interact or a dinner be plated
• 23:59
  in the storage room of a gift shop or you can't actually plan
• 24:03
  for that. Really.
• 24:05
  No. Um, last year from the 1st of
• 24:10
  January to my birthday on the 1st of June, I decided to set
• 24:14
  myself a deadline that I didn't share with anyone.
• 24:18
  It was like this little secret with myself that on my birthday
• 24:21
  I needed to have some idea of something that was going to
• 24:26
  create, but I didn't know what. And we already had Grey's Wilder
• 24:31
  Shaku tree well that was running with the kids at home.
• 24:35
  And I knew I was capable of doing that, but I felt like I
• 24:38
  was going to get so much more capacity when Wilf went to
• 24:41
  daycare. So I didn't change what I was
• 24:45
  doing, but I was just like, secretly assessing how I behaved
• 24:51
  and what I was running towards and what I was avoiding.
• 24:55
  And I'm a serial list maker. Oh, I love the list.
• 24:59
  We have all the systems we have. Click open all the Google
• 25:02
  drives, and all I want is a handwritten list in my bag
• 25:06
  falling apart. And that's what I'm going to
• 25:08
  work from. And it drives everyone.
• 25:09
  Crazy. You're like, I'm sorry I can't
• 25:12
  talk about this on my list. I just know.
• 25:14
  My other list, yeah. Friends I would highlight at the
• 25:22
  end of the day on my To Do List again what I'd run at and what I
• 25:28
  had procrastinated on and I was having to carry over to the next
• 25:31
  day. And everything crossed out that
• 25:33
  I hadn't achieved was something behind the scenes that didn't
• 25:37
  fill my cup or it was like the bookkeeping or, you know.
• 25:41
  Yeah, yeah. Anything that was human facing,
• 25:44
  even if it was take the kids to the post office, go to the
• 25:47
  grocery store. Everyone says to me, why do you
• 25:50
  take the kids to the grocery store?
• 25:51
  You can order groceries and I think, but then you get to miss
• 25:54
  meeting all the strangers in the grocery store and having the
• 25:59
  kids interact with them. They need to learn that skill.
• 26:01
  We can't will be on screens all the time.
• 26:03
  No, everything was human facing that I was achieving.
• 26:09
  And so then I started to ponder on or had the epiphany, I think
• 26:14
  by the time it got to my birthday of OK, so all I need to
• 26:18
  do is get paid to meet strangers.
• 26:22
  And it was a bit of a joke, but that's what I was going to do.
• 26:25
  I was going to create something where I just connect with
• 26:28
  strangers and as I'm burning garlic bread while I'm trying to
• 26:33
  host halfway through June, I thought I don't even like doing
• 26:38
  the cooking anymore. I've lost the love of the
• 26:40
  cooking since I've had the kids. It's become a child, which I'm
• 26:43
  sure has so many mums parents can understand.
• 26:49
  I used to love hosting for the cooking and now it's like the
• 26:52
  added char and I think that's a huge point to make is it doesn't
• 26:59
  even need to be a home cooked meal.
• 27:01
  Like you can horse and you can order take out but just swap it
• 27:04
  out of the packaging and put it on a beautiful plate.
• 27:06
  No one even cares. And you don't have to hide it.
• 27:09
  Well, no, but it just looks beautiful, no?
• 27:11
  Exactly. Yes.
• 27:13
  Oh God. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 27:18
  So then I thought, well, what if I brought in all of the people
• 27:22
  who are exceptional at their craft?
• 27:24
  I don't need to be good at everything.
• 27:26
  I'm just the bringing of the people together.
• 27:28
  So you bring the vendors who are exceptional, which elevates
• 27:31
  every single part of it rather than me being all care to all
• 27:36
  because I think my skill is the human connection.
• 27:40
  I wanna be there to greet you with open arms when you walk in.
• 27:42
  I can't do that if I'm also catering and someone's taking
• 27:45
  the photos and all the things. Yes.
• 27:48
  Um, and as I was going through this secret inquiry of my
• 27:53
  skills, I knocked on about 5 doors in a row over a couple of
• 28:00
  weeks delivering Grey's Wilder Platters charcuterie.
• 28:04
  And it was like I would knock on the door, see the beautiful
• 28:08
  woman receiving the platter, and she would tell me that she felt
• 28:11
  disconnected. And I kept hearing this word of
• 28:14
  disconnect. And so one day I walked in after
• 28:17
  deliveries with the kids in the car and I threw the list and I
• 28:20
  said, we're just going to solve this.
• 28:22
  Let's just solve it. Let's take it into our own
• 28:25
  hands. I feel so connected.
• 28:27
  They don't. Let's just throw a brunch next
• 28:30
  week in the garden. And so I just on the spot
• 28:33
  though, OK, let's call it Diane Wilder.
• 28:36
  We already have grass welder and we just eat in places that you'd
• 28:40
  never eat. Cause I'm not trying to compete
• 28:42
  with the local incredible restaurant.
• 28:44
  We just want their chefs to create the meal in the
• 28:47
  bookstore, and that's what we did.
• 28:54
  And so we had 28 people in the garden and it's just snowballed
• 28:58
  from there. And the night before, I had such
• 29:00
  conviction that it was going to go.
• 29:02
  I didn't even know where or what it was going to be, but I just
• 29:05
  knew. I called a girlfriend who's a
• 29:07
  professional photographer and I said I need to hire you for
• 29:10
  next, like for tomorrow, I think it was.
• 29:13
  I said you haven't even done 1. And I said it doesn't matter.
• 29:15
  I know this is going to go, and I think that's part of it.
• 29:18
  When you're telling people your ideas, be careful unless you
• 29:24
  have complete and utter confidence in yourself.
• 29:30
  They'll then back you if you do, if you have any doubt, they're
• 29:33
  going to give you all the reasons why it might not work.
• 29:36
  And so Gabby, the photographer's been with me for every single
• 29:40
  event and it's and it worked out perfectly.
• 29:42
  If you're going to do something, do it right.
• 29:44
  As we were talking about before this podcast.
• 29:46
  And then the images from the first brunch, which felt so, you
• 29:52
  know, kind of thrown together. Well, it was, but it didn't look
• 29:57
  and it didn't feel it It that's been on the front cover of
• 30:00
  magazines like this. Humble little brunch in my
• 30:03
  garden. I can't get enough of this
• 30:06
  story. You can't.
• 30:09
  I think it is like, there is so much in this.
• 30:13
  There is so much wisdom that I'm sure people are hearing from
• 30:16
  this of like, like, just jump before you feel like you're
• 30:20
  ready. Yeah, do whatever you can to be
• 30:24
  like to create an unreasonably amazing experience to the best
• 30:29
  of your ability. And I'm sure the experience has
• 30:31
  become even more unreasonable and fantastic since that first
• 30:35
  one, but it's not to discount that.
• 30:37
  It was like based on what you knew at the time and your
• 30:39
  experience and what you knew of hospitality and what these
• 30:43
  people were craving, you're like, OK, I'm going to put this
• 30:46
  together. How have you combated negativity
• 30:51
  coming into your world, Getting a bit of feedback?
• 30:53
  I can only imagine there's something I feel like with
• 30:56
  people and food, it's like that makes people be like, Oh, well,
• 31:01
  there wasn't enough for I didn't have this or, or I don't even
• 31:04
  know if you've ever had any negative feedback from people,
• 31:06
  but how have you or how have you not taken that in and let that
• 31:11
  stop you and have you used that to just further propel your
• 31:15
  business? I think part of it and what's
• 31:18
  quite interesting, even though I'm the one creating it, it
• 31:21
  feels quite interesting in what we're doing with the marketing.
• 31:24
  We don't talk about the food and I want it to be all about the
• 31:28
  connection. I don't know if you've read
• 31:31
  start with why yes, you read it yeah, I love it.
• 31:35
  He talks about how like corn through your copy come through
• 31:38
  everything. Don't lead with what the product
• 31:40
  is lead with the why. And so everything is about the
• 31:45
  connection, humans solving disconnect, making you feel
• 31:50
  welcome, conversation, candlelight.
• 31:54
  And the table is the vehicle for that.
• 31:58
  So I think already people are coming because they want the
• 32:03
  connection. And I can guarantee that's going
• 32:06
  to happen and I can guarantee it's going to feel warm.
• 32:09
  And I hate the word networking, but some people do come to
• 32:13
  network but it doesn't feel that way.
• 32:17
  Hmm. But of course, of course, when
• 32:21
  you've got such high standards and as well, I think I'm
• 32:24
  incredibly open to feedback because I want to be better and
• 32:27
  you need to hear the harsh feedback in order to improve.
• 32:30
  Otherwise, you're just gonna stay where you are.
• 32:33
  Um. You have to sit with how what
• 32:36
  your intention was or how you think it felt.
• 32:44
  And I'm also learning that with an experience.
• 32:48
  It's so subjective, like it's not a product, It's not you're
• 32:53
  not selling an iPhone and it's does it work or does it not how
• 32:57
  you show up in the room, how that person's day has been, what
• 33:00
  they're dealing with, who they sit with.
• 33:03
  Like so many things affect each person's experience so I care
• 33:10
  wholeheartedly. It like pains me if I think
• 33:14
  anyone hasn't left with this cup full hair on fire feeling, but
• 33:22
  also you do have to let it go a little bit.
• 33:24
  And if like 99% of the room fell a certain way a few weeks ago.
• 33:31
  I do curate seating plan and can I just don't intuition.
• 33:37
  But this one event we had all the name cards placed, all the
• 33:41
  dietary requirements like the chefs got the servers.
• 33:43
  Now it's all perfect, imperfectly perfect.
• 33:47
  I don't like to say perfect. And as these women are walking
• 33:50
  in the room, there was 2 ladies in there, late 60s, early 70s
• 33:56
  that had come from Vernon, which I thought was insane.
• 33:58
  You could tell they'd never done anything like it.
• 34:00
  They'd seen something on Instagram and they travelled
• 34:03
  from Vernon. I was obsessed with them.
• 34:06
  Are you kidding? Me like couldn't take it in and
• 34:10
  they brought me journals and all these different things was
• 34:12
  amazing. But as they walked in, I just
• 34:15
  got the sense that the tables seating plan needed to swap in.
• 34:19
  So I started behind me swapping all of the name cards, obviously
• 34:24
  to the dismay of the servers. Like saw frustrating for me to
• 34:27
  do that, but it's very classic Emily to just change everything
• 34:31
  last minute because it felt a certain way anywhere.
• 34:35
  Serendipity again. Two women sat next to each other
• 34:38
  that had never met. One of them from Vernon, one of
• 34:41
  them from Squamish, who had both just overcome breast cancer.
• 34:46
  And I want to say, like, how would they have ever met?
• 34:48
  But maybe they would have done, you know, maybe they were always
• 34:50
  gonna make. But hearing their conversation
• 34:53
  at the dinner table, I just had goosebumps.
• 34:57
  And I'm engaged with somebody else, but I could hear the
• 34:59
  connection going on behind me. And I just had this moment of
• 35:03
  thinking, even if someone on the other side of the room doesn't
• 35:07
  like the wine or that, you know, whatever it is, it doesn't
• 35:13
  matter because this conversation behind me that's unfolding,
• 35:17
  that's what this is about. And then you just lean into what
• 35:22
  matters, you know? Yeah.
• 35:24
  But yeah, of course I want everything to be.
• 35:27
  It's so incredible to hear you say it like that.
• 35:31
  And it's, I was also thinking about kind of obviously my
• 35:34
  business brain sometimes turns on and how you were talking
• 35:36
  about starting with why and from a business perspective, how
• 35:40
  important that is. Because if you were, you run a
• 35:44
  really classy, high value, high quality event, it's not $30.
• 35:50
  It should not be $30. And you could not deliver what
• 35:53
  you deliver for $30 event. And if you said, I'm gonna give
• 36:00
  you, here's what you're going to get one glass of wine, you will
• 36:04
  have some sparkling water, you will have a bit of chacuterie
• 36:06
  and you will have this piece of meat or whatever.
• 36:09
  Someone might look at the price tag and say, that's not like
• 36:12
  what's the value in that? That that doesn't translate
• 36:14
  dollar to value. And it's almost like I was also
• 36:18
  thinking about the person who's listening, who works in
• 36:20
  corporate still. And this is like a beautiful
• 36:22
  conversation to just escape and listen to somebody who's, you
• 36:24
  know, going out and doing it. But also like value as a human
• 36:29
  being is what I was also thinking about and how you
• 36:31
  deliver and how you show up as a parent.
• 36:33
  There's no dollar in sense value on you showing up as a parent or
• 36:37
  you as a worker. The person isn't looking at your
• 36:40
  salary and being like, oh, you're not worth that.
• 36:42
  Maybe they are. There's a, there's the
• 36:43
  disconnect because you're not showing up with this bigger,
• 36:47
  like look what I can offer you. I don't know.
• 36:49
  I just feel like there's so many, it's so relevant.
• 36:52
  There's so many applications, not just for someone who wants
• 36:54
  to start a shuttering business or an event business.
• 36:57
  It's like, how do you create more than just the?
• 37:03
  Dollar, I think if you're leading with the Y, yeah, there
• 37:10
  is almost no limit as well on what could be created because if
• 37:17
  someone's feeling disconnected, how much would you pay to not
• 37:20
  feel disconnected, which then makes it a viable business
• 37:24
  because there are so many costs associated with it.
• 37:28
  It's incredibly sore, actually, yeah.
• 37:31
  Um. That's what I lean into.
• 37:35
  How much would I pay if I felt disconnected if possible?
• 37:38
  Yes. Why do you believe that?
• 37:41
  From your personal opinion, why do you think so many women
• 37:45
  undervalue what they do and what they're capable of and create
• 37:51
  hobby businesses versus profitable?
• 37:53
  I love that you, I've known you for a couple weeks here and I
• 37:56
  know that your dream is to make this a big, successful,
• 37:59
  profitable business, and I freaking love that you say that.
• 38:03
  Why do you think so many women don't lean into that?
• 38:06
  I think it took me a while to say that out loud.
• 38:09
  And I do listen to Cordy Sanchez a lot who talks about the same
• 38:13
  thing. Like it's such a small
• 38:15
  percentage of women that even own 7 figure businesses, for
• 38:19
  example, in the States. Yeah, everything else is a
• 38:23
  lifestyle hobby thing that was expected to do on the side.
• 38:28
  And it's not even fueled by me wanting to do it for myself.
• 38:33
  It's all of the small makers and the mums creating at home in nap
• 38:39
  time. And I've been around it through
• 38:40
  Grey's Wilder and going to some beautiful markets, like really
• 38:44
  high end markets where we've sold charcuterie boxes.
• 38:47
  Your eyes are open to this world.
• 38:49
  And my husband actually says, God, so much goes into those
• 38:54
  market vendors, like when you next go to a farmers market and
• 38:58
  if you ever like sniff at the price tag of some hot like honey
• 39:04
  or you've got no idea what goes into it, it's incredible.
• 39:10
  But I want to inspire the mum, the whoever.
• 39:15
  Maybe there is a way that we can make it profitable.
• 39:18
  So it's very out of my comfort zone to actually say it out
• 39:20
  loud, but I feel like because I'm doing it for other people,
• 39:25
  it makes it OK that I can admit that I want to do that.
• 39:30
  Um. And yet goes back to the why?
• 39:34
  Yeah, because if you don't, it's so I just.
• 39:37
  I love this conversation and it's it's just if we feel like
• 39:42
  it has to be an altruistic service based business, even if
• 39:45
  this is this is a very altruistic, very service based,
• 39:49
  grounded and creating connection business.
• 39:51
  But what if you wanted to sell a widget and make an incredibly
• 39:55
  profitable like cell phone case like Pilla or whatever and
• 40:00
  people and you're like, well, I don't want to say it out loud
• 40:02
  that I want to make a ton of money or be wildly successful.
• 40:06
  You can actually feel so much better in that if you understand
• 40:09
  why you want to make that money. And it doesn't have to be
• 40:12
  because you want to open up an orphanage.
• 40:14
  It can be because I want to create like something that I
• 40:16
  want to do is create beautiful experiences for my family.
• 40:19
  I want to have and host and create beautiful experiences.
• 40:22
  Whether it's a vacation, whether it's taking our E bikes down to
• 40:25
  the water, like that is up to me.
• 40:27
  A beautiful experience hosted by the fact that we have expensive
• 40:30
  bikes. And that's my why for bringing
• 40:34
  in money. Into our family.
• 40:36
  And so if you're disconnected from that, I feel like that's
• 40:38
  when things feel icky and when you know you're hosting a dinner
• 40:44
  and there's a price tag on it. If you don't believe in like the
• 40:47
  why behind, like I'm delivering a beautiful experience for this
• 40:51
  person and I have this profitable business now that's
• 40:55
  supporting my family and our dreams.
• 40:57
  Like how is that not a beautiful win win?
• 41:00
  My why? This is so silly to say out loud
• 41:03
  and I actually haven't even done any research to find out whether
• 41:06
  there is such thing as a sports day at school here.
• 41:09
  It's sports day, of course there is.
• 41:11
  OK. From Ontario so who knows here
• 41:13
  but OK, thanks I'm sure. If you can picture future you
• 41:18
  rather than trying to create a business, work backwards like
• 41:23
  find a Mormon in five years time and what do you want to spend
• 41:27
  that day doing? Work backwards.
• 41:29
  How do you get to there? Because if you take it step by
• 41:32
  step from today, it's really overwhelming.
• 41:34
  Same with the dinners. The 28 people I stopped and
• 41:37
  said, do you want to come to this brunch next week?
• 41:39
  Of course, their first question was what is it?
• 41:41
  Cause I think I called it dime with intent.
• 41:43
  And they were like, what is that?
• 41:44
  And I was like, I have no idea. But you're going to leave
• 41:47
  feeling like these words. Let me just figure out the
• 41:50
  logistics. Everybody wanted to feel like
• 41:52
  that, so they bought ticket. I've had in mind this pretend
• 41:57
  sports day moment where the kids have been sick all week.
• 42:02
  So I've used all my vacation potentially on that week and
• 42:06
  then it sports day. And then I have this dread of
• 42:09
  knocking on my boss's daughter, say, Oh my God, can I have the
• 42:13
  afternoon off because it's sports day.
• 42:15
  And I just try and get into the moment of feeling that anxiety
• 42:19
  of asking again for another piece of time off to be with the
• 42:23
  kids and through the night. Like we have done the maddest
• 42:27
  things with Grey's Wilder to make it happen.
• 42:30
  It was started when Jack Wilder, who everything is now named
• 42:33
  after, was three months old with my best friend who I went to
• 42:37
  daycare when I was 3 within the UK.
• 42:41
  To make that happen with a three month old has been bonkers
• 42:44
  actually. Like the shakoori business?
• 42:46
  More than anyone would ever know.
• 42:49
  Maybe one day. We share all the stories, but we
• 42:51
  would intentionally book kitchen time during the night.
• 42:55
  So like me and Rosie are rocking Baby Jack on our backs.
• 42:59
  She's godmother. And we would make platter after
• 43:01
  platter after platter together doing that.
• 43:04
  All the deliveries were scheduled around nap time.
• 43:07
  The kids would sleep in the back of the car.
• 43:09
  They would come to weddings with me.
• 43:11
  One wedding there was no children allowed and I had
• 43:13
  wealth in his car seat under the grazing table sleep and they
• 43:17
  didn't even know that the but he had to call if I was
• 43:22
  breastfeeding and there was no other option and all the way
• 43:26
  through what made it possible and actually made me jump out of
• 43:29
  bed to go and do it was this pretend spot stair moment of
• 43:33
  light nor where am I doing that Spain a slog at times on paper,
• 43:41
  but it's never felt like it because it's every day felt like
• 43:44
  I was getting closer to that possibility.
• 43:48
  So I can't wait for it to be sports day.
• 43:51
  And you're going to be like, oh, can I have the time off?
• 43:54
  You bet I can. I'm my own boss.
• 43:57
  Yeah, I was about to swear. My coach and dear friend,
• 44:00
  Kristen Constable, she uses this exercise called the Five Wise.
• 44:04
  And when someone is experiencing something that's really
• 44:06
  triggering or fearful or say they're in that moment where
• 44:11
  they have to go and ask for the sports day afternoon off and
• 44:13
  they're like, I don't want to feel like this anymore.
• 44:16
  But they can't understand what it is about that that's making
• 44:19
  them feel so awful. She says ask yourself 5 whys and
• 44:23
  I wonder like if you were to have done that experience in
• 44:26
  that moment, say this actually did happen.
• 44:28
  You're asking OK, why do I feel such dread knocking on the door?
• 44:32
  And then you ask yourself why, why, why to every single
• 44:36
  response and what I can imagine would have happened.
• 44:39
  I use this with my clients actually so fun is you be like
• 44:44
  because I wanna feel free. I wanna feel freedom to be there
• 44:47
  for my kids would probably have been something around the effect
• 44:50
  of like what was at the root of it.
• 44:52
  And I love your again gumption. I don't know why.
• 44:55
  I feel like that's a word that they use in the holiday.
• 44:59
  I've done. I've not seen any movies.
• 45:01
  I don't know any famous. People my K Jack Black no shoot.
• 45:05
  There's some characters in these.
• 45:06
  There were gumption to describe what's her face is.
• 45:10
  Oh shoot. Anyways, anyways, I'm also
• 45:12
  really bad with actors and actresses.
• 45:13
  But anyways, the word gumption is used and I feel like I've
• 45:15
  used it five times and you just like, you just did it.
• 45:20
  You're like, Nope, I'm not going to let this my life pass me by
• 45:23
  for the next three years and be like every year having to ask
• 45:28
  for that friggin sports day off and feeling awful about it.
• 45:31
  You're like, no, I'm going to get ahead of this.
• 45:32
  And I think, I hate to admit it a little bit, but I am at all
• 45:36
  people pleaser at heart. So part of it would also be, I
• 45:41
  know I would be throwing myself into that role that doesn't
• 45:44
  exist and that version of me that doesn't exist, and I would
• 45:47
  feel terrible letting the person down.
• 45:49
  So I'd rather be able to plan for it and figure out that I'm
• 45:53
  going to work all of these hours when the kids are asleep or
• 45:55
  whatever to be present. Offers.
• 45:57
  Yeah, for the kids, as you said. OK, I told you I wasn't gonna
• 46:02
  look at my notes. I haven't.
• 46:05
  I had so many questions prepared for you.
• 46:08
  I wanna ask you about hospitality, going back to the
• 46:13
  the notion of hospitality. And I want to dig in a little
• 46:15
  bit more into creating connection because you said so
• 46:19
  many people that you've been meeting, that you were meeting,
• 46:21
  which was the inspiration for Diane Wilder, is this feeling of
• 46:24
  disconnect. And I think we can all think
• 46:26
  about those experiences as being parents where we felt
• 46:29
  disconnected from our own friends.
• 46:30
  And we'd love to host an experience with all the other
• 46:34
  parents that we know and love who have their own kids.
• 46:36
  And we're all just buzzing through life.
• 46:39
  And then this has happened. I'm raising my hand.
• 46:42
  You're like, but I never cleaned up that cupboard or we didn't
• 46:45
  move all that stuff over here or the house is always a mess.
• 46:49
  It feels like a lot of work. I have to cook now.
• 46:51
  The list goes on. What?
• 46:55
  What can we do to just find easier, meaningful ways to
• 47:01
  connect with the people we love or people we don't know?
• 47:04
  Well, in Squamish it's extremely easy.
• 47:07
  Everybody hangs out at the river.
• 47:09
  So over the last few years, what has felt easier than hosting, to
• 47:13
  be honest at times, is let's all just take a picnic to the river
• 47:17
  on a Friday night and the kids run wild and we all just sit
• 47:20
  outside. But obviously the rain comes and
• 47:23
  then it's not so easy. I will say, if you're hosting
• 47:27
  other parents, all of those stories that you're making up
• 47:31
  are completely made-up and nobody cares.
• 47:35
  And it actually does let people have the exhale as you just did
• 47:39
  when they walk in if they see some mess.
• 47:43
  Yeah, I like everything to be put away just for my own sanity.
• 47:49
  My brain so busy I am a bit of a stickler with before I go to
• 47:54
  bed, I have to have cleaned the kitchen counters.
• 47:56
  I have to have put the toys away but it's not for pride of
• 48:02
  hosting, you know, it's just for myself.
• 48:05
  But when people come and there are toys out or you have got
• 48:09
  pots on the side, without a doubt if you say to them I'm so
• 48:13
  sorry about the mayor, they'll all say to you every time, or
• 48:17
  you should see my house and it humanises the host and 90% of
• 48:23
  people walking through the door will just be so grateful that
• 48:26
  they didn't have to. Oh, true.
• 48:30
  I just grateful that you're hosting.
• 48:33
  So true. And I think we can switch off in
• 48:35
  other peoples spaces too. I don't care if I come to your
• 48:38
  house and as kids toys everywhere, they're not my toys.
• 48:41
  It's not my problem. I'm just there to see you.
• 48:44
  I think it's more obvious the hosts that are thinking about
• 48:47
  it, yes. But yeah, it just normalizes the
• 48:52
  it's a messy life and it's amazing.
• 48:54
  And again, what's the why? It's the connection.
• 48:58
  I have found it much easier to be honest to hang out with other
• 49:02
  parents, more so for the timings and I would say a little hacked.
• 49:08
  Not really hack, but. Love a good hack?
• 49:10
  It's already a hack. It was just like an epiphany.
• 49:13
  I think one day of thinking, why am I trying to create this
• 49:18
  military bedtime routine to then sit there at the table and pray
• 49:23
  to God those kids don't wake up because then we're gonna have to
• 49:26
  go back upstairs. And me, selfishly, I don't wanna
• 49:29
  go and miss the dinner table totally.
• 49:32
  Like, yeah, I don't want to go upstairs and rock the kids back
• 49:35
  to sleep. I wanna be there in amongst it.
• 49:38
  Yes. What if we just did a brunch?
• 49:41
  So quite often on a Saturday morning or Sunday morning, we'll
• 49:45
  have another family over every time, and even on an evening,
• 49:49
  your guests will ask, what can I bring?
• 49:51
  We're all trained to say nothing.
• 49:53
  Just bring yourselves. Yes, give them something to
• 49:55
  bring, you know, tell. Them.
• 49:58
  Bring a fruit salad. Yes, you go to the local bakery,
• 50:02
  buy some fresh pastries. As soon as you've got that
• 50:05
  coffee machine going and the house smells lovely, the kids
• 50:09
  are probably in much better higher spirits.
• 50:13
  Yeah, it's like double win because they get to burn off
• 50:16
  energy while you're socialising and you're not in a fancy
• 50:19
  restaurant on edge, not wanting to get the screen out but also
• 50:23
  not thinking. Are we about to get evicted?
• 50:27
  It's the dream. Open your house on a weekend
• 50:31
  morning to another family, give them a job.
• 50:34
  Everyone's. Happy give them a job.
• 50:36
  And if your kids are little enough then you go home and you
• 50:38
  get a double whammy cause the kids go down for a nap.
• 50:42
  Have some ham, have my kids like smoked salmon for I think a lot
• 50:47
  of kids like smoked salmon. Really.
• 50:49
  That's so interesting because my kids lunch box yesterday and it
• 50:52
  came back. No, that is so weird.
• 50:55
  What? The synchronicities must be
• 50:58
  Canadian kids. Thank God West Coast.
• 51:03
  Apparently I have these West Coast kids who like smoked
• 51:05
  salmon. Tell so tell them so.
• 51:07
  Say you know a little sweet treat would be lovely thing.
• 51:10
  Yeah, anything. Bring a snack for the kids,
• 51:14
  bring a, bring some crayons for the kids.
• 51:17
  In fact, don't do the crayons cause I've done that.
• 51:19
  And you actually want to be able to leave the kids to their own
• 51:22
  devices. So you're better off putting a
• 51:24
  little activity out on the floor or a jigsaw, some leg or
• 51:27
  something. They're not going to murder each
• 51:29
  other with, which they probably won't if it's friends and not
• 51:32
  siblings. And then you can leave them and
• 51:35
  you can all catch up. This is a this is a hack.
• 51:40
  You said it's not a hack. This is a hack brunch.
• 51:43
  Host a brunch so easy. Talk about the rain.
• 51:45
  Talk about anywhere in Canada from November to February.
• 51:49
  And it's these Saturday, Sunday routines where you're going to
• 51:52
  these play times, which are great and there's a time and a
• 51:55
  place for them. But sometimes you just don't
• 51:57
  want the snotty kid to be sneezing on your kid and licking
• 52:00
  their face. And like you're standing there
• 52:03
  and you don't really feel like, like I'm an extrovert.
• 52:06
  I will chat with the mom next to me.
• 52:07
  But like, sometimes I want to see my people, but maybe I don't
• 52:11
  want to do the whole dinner rigamarole.
• 52:13
  I love this. It's so nice.
• 52:15
  What a nice way to spend the morning.
• 52:16
  And if you really want to, you can have the dishwasher and the
• 52:20
  washing machine going and all the things at the same time.
• 52:23
  Or you can just suck it up and just be there.
• 52:25
  Yes, it's fab. Tell us about Diane Wilder.
• 52:31
  Tell us about wait, what is the your big event coming fees.
• 52:35
  Oh my gosh, she tell us about fees for those who are local or
• 52:38
  would like to travel like those who came from Vernon.
• 52:41
  Tell us what is this experience? What is the why behind this
• 52:44
  event? Feast is selfishly the day that
• 52:48
  I've always wanted to go to, that I couldn't find, that
• 52:51
  didn't seem to exist. And I am so passionate that
• 52:56
  everybody knows that Diane Wilder is for every woman.
• 52:59
  It's not for women in business, it's not for mums.
• 53:02
  It's for all of the above and everyone in between because when
• 53:06
  I was on maternity leave I felt very, very connected.
• 53:10
  I would go to so many mum and baby things.
• 53:13
  Not only did it make me feel. Like.
• 53:17
  A bad mum in a way because I didn't want to go and talk about
• 53:20
  the kids. I now realise that's quite
• 53:22
  common, like there's a lot of women that feel that way.
• 53:25
  But I would sit there thinking, Oh my gosh, are we talking about
• 53:29
  the sleep schedule again? I don't get.
• 53:31
  Any I thought I was alone in that.
• 53:33
  I talked to a lot of parents, but I really did think I was
• 53:36
  alone in. That no, I had no interest.
• 53:37
  I was just selfishly going to go and have a coffee with someone
• 53:41
  else and use my brain. And you don't really want to say
• 53:44
  that out loud until I think maybe you've had an extra child
• 53:48
  and then you don't mind saying. It Yeah, I don't care about the
• 53:51
  feces. But yeah.
• 53:54
  I mean, unless they're really sick for the green.
• 53:56
  OK, yeah, maybe you should go. Other than that, don't care.
• 54:00
  Obviously we love them. We're here with them, with them
• 54:02
  every moment of the day. Let's talk about something else.
• 54:05
  Yeah. And I just would always leave
• 54:07
  feeling very connected but that my mind felt hungry.
• 54:10
  Or I would go to a dinner with my girlfriends and I would just
• 54:15
  leave thinking I wish we'd had conversation prompts.
• 54:18
  Or I wish we none of us had any energy to read any books.
• 54:22
  But I wish we would have had a book club where we didn't have
• 54:24
  to read the book, but the conversation followed some kind
• 54:27
  of flaw. So I think Feast has probably
• 54:31
  always been the seed planted in my mind before even Dine Wilder
• 54:35
  came about. This food for your mind thing
• 54:40
  and every portion of my life, it's like I come out of body and
• 54:46
  see all as a vehicle for something different.
• 54:50
  Greers felt like that. Property management felt like
• 54:53
  that actually managing retail spaces.
• 54:56
  Grace, now we're into dine and as people have said to me, what
• 55:00
  are you going to do if people get sick of the dinners?
• 55:03
  Eh, Well, I have so many answers for that.
• 55:05
  But I would think, oh, you don't know.
• 55:08
  You don't know this is the vehicle.
• 55:11
  But I didn't know what to do, and Feast feels like that's what
• 55:16
  it's been leading into. So it's a whole day of
• 55:20
  connection and I will say I've struggled with the copy to
• 55:26
  market it because I don't want to use the word conference.
• 55:30
  Yeah, it's not. And I don't want to use the word
• 55:32
  retreat because it also doesn't feel like it's a retreat full of
• 55:36
  like physical Wellness and movement because there's so much
• 55:39
  of that done so amazingly on in this part of the world.
• 55:44
  But I'm learning to accept that it does have the structure of a
• 55:47
  conference with the feeling of a retreat and the food for your
• 55:53
  mind. And whilst we have 4 incredible
• 55:55
  speakers all arming you with tools that you can actually put
• 56:01
  into action when you leave, to feel confident, capable, just so
• 56:08
  sure that you can achieve whatever that itches, that you
• 56:12
  can scratch it. And if it doesn't work out, it
• 56:14
  doesn't matter. You're just in the same position
• 56:16
  that you're in beforehand anyway.
• 56:18
  Like, what's the worst that's gonna happen?
• 56:21
  Um. They all have the same golden
• 56:25
  thread woven through, but also the magic of Diane Wilder and
• 56:32
  being at a dinner table is woven through.
• 56:34
  So they speak for 20 minutes, but the other 20 minutes of
• 56:38
  their session time is free immersion.
• 56:40
  So it could be conversation prompts, it could be meditation
• 56:45
  or journaling, or it's for the connection that happens at Dine
• 56:49
  to be lit in those in the second-half.
• 56:54
  And then all of that will culminate in a panel led by my
• 56:58
  coach, Krista Hull, who is incredible at building community
• 57:04
  and connection. So she's going to weave all of
• 57:06
  it together. We'll have, of course, the name
• 57:09
  of it. Feast and time.
• 57:10
  Wilder, very abundant lunch. There'll be breakfast canopies
• 57:14
  in the morning. I'm kind of going all over the
• 57:16
  place here, but. I love it.
• 57:17
  That's. The way my friend works.
• 57:18
  Love it. The end clause in Mormon again,
• 57:25
  don't know what to call it because it's not the networking
• 57:28
  hour and it is cocktails. But we also have non alcoholic
• 57:31
  mocktails. There's going to be live music,
• 57:35
  grazing table, time for connection, and Christa did
• 57:40
  point out with me this week, don't get so caught up in not
• 57:44
  knowing how to word it because that's what happens when you're
• 57:47
  creating something new. There aren't the words for it.
• 57:50
  So every time someone asks me what it is, I'm thinking, well,
• 57:53
  it's just fast. It's just it's own being.
• 57:59
  But once everyone's been, they'll understand.
• 58:03
  I think they're going to leave feeling changed and they are not
• 58:09
  going to have had a moment through the day of thinking
• 58:12
  these tables weren't sat set for me.
• 58:15
  Although these speakers do work with huge brands, I've almost
• 58:19
  removed some of that because I don't want the mum on Matt leave
• 58:24
  thinking I'm not a woman in business.
• 58:27
  I can't be at that dinner table yet.
• 58:28
  Let me get back to work. Let me wait for, you know, wait
• 58:32
  for the right moment. It's for every woman at any
• 58:35
  point at any age. And I think that's the beauty of
• 58:39
  Diane. You have the 17 year old girl,
• 58:41
  Frieda, that I mentor at the secondary school in Squamish sat
• 58:45
  next to a 70 year old grandma. Never do we make time for that
• 58:50
  in society, for them to share a dinner table.
• 58:53
  Unless you're part of the same family.
• 58:54
  Yeah, but the wisdom that shared if you don't have your phone out
• 58:57
  and you're totally engaged is so valuable.
• 59:02
  It's so beautiful and another synchronicity.
• 59:07
  You are hosting it where I got married.
• 59:09
  Oh my gosh, I didn't know. That I tell you that.
• 59:11
  No. Yeah.
• 59:12
  Checkmate Centre in Squamish, Ohe.
• 59:14
  Cool. It's beautiful.
• 59:15
  It's a sea to Sky's best kept secret.
• 59:18
  Nobody knows it exists and it's just stunning, isn't it?
• 59:22
  It's it's like, obviously I'm biased.
• 59:25
  I got married there, but it is the most special place.
• 59:27
  It looks like the Twilight House.
• 59:29
  Yeah, it's gorgeous house that's LEED certified and it's in the
• 59:33
  forest on a river. It is the most beautiful.
• 59:37
  There's something about the energy of that.
• 59:39
  It's so. Magical space.
• 59:41
  It is so magical. And I just love the way you
• 59:43
  describe it, how you're describing the feeling of it.
• 59:46
  I can. You're not all over the place.
• 59:48
  First of all, I'm. I was with you.
• 59:50
  It was like watching a beautiful movie.
• 59:52
  And I'm so excited for you. I'm so excited.
• 59:56
  Beautiful. Thank you.
• 59:57
  It's going to be beautiful. Before I let you go, can we do a
• 1:00:00
  rapid fire? Yeah.
• 1:00:02
  OK. I'm pulling out my phone.
• 1:00:03
  Because I wrote down some questions.
• 1:00:05
  Oht gosh. Rapid Fire hosting Hacks with
• 1:00:10
  Emily Schimmel Asking for a friend.
• 1:00:16
  OK OK, so we're taking this back to hosting because clearly it's
• 1:00:20
  on the mind and you are the person to ask.
• 1:00:23
  OK, number one, what's your go to crowd pleasing appetizer?
• 1:00:28
  I have to say Shaku tree. How?
• 1:00:30
  Could I do have to? OK what on the shark is it like
• 1:00:33
  let's make like a French toast, like a brunch charcuterie?
• 1:00:36
  Is it like classic salami and cheese?
• 1:00:38
  Like what are? Some, I think if you're a busy
• 1:00:40
  mom, too complicated. Yeah, in the French toast
• 1:00:42
  situation, I think we just do crackers, delicious meat, a
• 1:00:48
  delicious cheese. And what everyone misses is the
• 1:00:51
  preserve. You need the whole mouthful.
• 1:00:54
  If I see someone at a grazing table and they haven't got the
• 1:00:57
  preserve, Rosie or I will run over and insist it just changes.
• 1:01:02
  How many do you have to have? Three cheeses?
• 1:01:04
  3 meats? It could be one cheese, 1 meat.
• 1:01:07
  How many cheeses? I think I don't like all the
• 1:01:09
  rules that go, but that's the whole point of it.
• 1:01:12
  And I think the more perfect that you try and make a grazing
• 1:01:15
  board look, the more stressful it seems.
• 1:01:18
  I like the food spilling and pouring off the grid in platter,
• 1:01:22
  and even when you've got the wood on the table with this
• 1:01:24
  beautiful platter, plant the grapes next to it and spread the
• 1:01:30
  crackers out off the sides of the boards.
• 1:01:32
  And I think it makes it look more abundant and it makes
• 1:01:35
  people feel more at home. Wild and it also.
• 1:01:39
  Spreads out the quantity to make it look even bigger if you've
• 1:01:42
  just thrown it together. Wild.
• 1:01:44
  And some olives are. Pickle Loving all laughing
• 1:01:49
  pickle Little Girkin OK, I'm never gonna get through this
• 1:01:52
  list. OK, one small detail that makes
• 1:01:55
  every table feel instantly elevated.
• 1:01:57
  I think beautiful linen napkin tied in a knot rather than
• 1:02:02
  folded. Even if you've got mismatch
• 1:02:05
  everything else, invest in some gorgeous quality linen napkins
• 1:02:10
  in a neutral tone. Everything looks.
• 1:02:12
  Elevated, you have to iron them. No, God no.
• 1:02:15
  Oh great. Tie them in a big knot like we
• 1:02:17
  did on Sunday is perfect. OK, done.
• 1:02:20
  Who's got time to iron the nation?
• 1:02:22
  I'm not. mother-in-law is the freaking best.
• 1:02:25
  She irons her pillowcases so you're setting the bar too high.
• 1:02:30
  Biggest mistake people make when hosting at home.
• 1:02:35
  Being attached to the perfection, nobody cares as much
• 1:02:38
  as we think they do. Same in business.
• 1:02:40
  Nobody cares as much about us as we think they do.
• 1:02:42
  So just thinking go. For it, OK.
• 1:02:45
  OK, fine, OK, fine. If you could splurge on only one
• 1:02:48
  thing for a dinner party, what would it be?
• 1:02:52
  Apart from the linen napkin, you can't.
• 1:02:54
  Maybe the wine? Ohe what's your fave?
• 1:02:58
  Well, at the moment we're partnered with Terra Vista
• 1:03:00
  Vineyards in Naramata. So all summer long we've been
• 1:03:04
  drinking Terra Vista. Love it.
• 1:03:07
  Delish that in the show notes. I know them.
• 1:03:09
  A lot of Naramata wines will deliver.
• 1:03:11
  My mom has wines come go to Ontario from the Okanogan
• 1:03:15
  County. What's your signature drink,
• 1:03:17
  mocktail or cocktail to serve? Hmm, I really change it all, but
• 1:03:23
  I think I lean into the Britishness and I quite like a
• 1:03:27
  gin and tonic with a little sprig of Rosemary.
• 1:03:30
  I don't know that was British. I thought you gonna say.
• 1:03:32
  Pinchin in English. Ohm who doesn't?
• 1:03:39
  Oh God that sounds good. There's some really good non
• 1:03:42
  alcoholic gens too. So good.
• 1:03:44
  Yeah, had some when I was pregnant.
• 1:03:46
  What is your trick for making hosting feel fun instead of
• 1:03:50
  stressful? I think it's stressful when you
• 1:03:52
  try to make the house look as perfect as you can when the kids
• 1:03:56
  are at your feet. So give them a job.
• 1:03:59
  Task them with something because they will feel helpful and
• 1:04:04
  valued. It gets them out from under your
• 1:04:06
  feet and it ticks a job off. You just have to give them
• 1:04:10
  triple the length of time. Yes, yes, and blunt scissors.
• 1:04:15
  I learned last week as they're clipping flowers in the garden
• 1:04:18
  for the vases. Excellent one song playlist you
• 1:04:22
  always put on to set the vibe. I am terrible at knowing any
• 1:04:29
  singers other than a few. Ed Sheeran, because you're
• 1:04:34
  British. I probably go towards Sam
• 1:04:36
  Fender, who's from where we're from at home in the North, but
• 1:04:40
  I'm a bit of a cheat and I just go on Spotify and either put
• 1:04:44
  family brunch, long table dinner, Jazz Cafe, something
• 1:04:49
  like that, and that's what I do at the dinners as well.
• 1:04:51
  Love that. Easy.
• 1:04:53
  Looks intentional. See, there's a lot that's a lot
• 1:04:55
  easier. Like you're saying, do tie the
• 1:04:58
  napkin in a knot, not just because it looks great, but you
• 1:05:02
  don't have to iron like I like these little.
• 1:05:05
  You're good. You're good.
• 1:05:07
  OK. What's your #1 tip for hosting
• 1:05:09
  with kids? Oh, Well, we don't remember
• 1:05:11
  that. Yeah, we covered that.
• 1:05:13
  Best lighting tricks. OK, this one, I this is the
• 1:05:17
  final one. The list is 9 for some reason.
• 1:05:19
  I'm not sure why I have been placed, I am so sensitive to
• 1:05:24
  light to like really crappy overhead light or like places
• 1:05:29
  where the light should be more dim.
• 1:05:30
  Like I'm obsessed with light. What is your?
• 1:05:33
  How do you kind of set the mood for light?
• 1:05:36
  Always candles and a candle in the washroom is so nice.
• 1:05:41
  I love it. I think it looks really
• 1:05:42
  intentional if you put a candle in the washroom.
• 1:05:45
  And while I'm saying don't perfect the house, something I
• 1:05:48
  learned or read somewhere definitely stuck with me.
• 1:05:51
  And that the moment that someone enters your home, you're setting
• 1:05:55
  the tone. So I do like to make sure that
• 1:05:58
  the entryway is quite Immaculate, even if the rest of
• 1:06:02
  the house isn't. It like sets the tone, you know?
• 1:06:05
  So true. And yeah, main lights off and
• 1:06:09
  little coffee table lights on and some candles.
• 1:06:12
  And I always let the kids light the candles, which they quite
• 1:06:14
  like. Ooh, controversial.
• 1:06:17
  I love it. OK, again, I feel like we're
• 1:06:21
  this is going to be a million years long.
• 1:06:22
  But I would also be remiss if we didn't just talk quickly about
• 1:06:25
  this notion of perfectionism and like the Martha Stewart era.
• 1:06:30
  What are your thoughts on just how we're all trying to be
• 1:06:33
  Martha Stewarts in this modern day world with the children at
• 1:06:38
  our ankles, with big jobs and big aspirations and big dreams?
• 1:06:43
  Like how? I don't know.
• 1:06:46
  What are your thoughts? How do we do it?
• 1:06:49
  I think I don't resonate with it so much because I am not like
• 1:06:52
  that, which seems so strange for people who don't know me to be
• 1:06:56
  looking at Diane Wilder probably think God bet she does the most
• 1:07:00
  extravagant tablescapes at home are I don't um, again, it's all
• 1:07:06
  back to the Y and it's getting the people around the table on
• 1:07:09
  the couch feeling comfy. I want people to think it's OK
• 1:07:12
  if they spill their red wine on the linen napkin, you know, yes,
• 1:07:16
  Um, I think it was amazing and very inspirational for my mum's
• 1:07:21
  era. My mum actually is Wonder Woman
• 1:07:24
  and so she did have a killer job.
• 1:07:26
  She our door was open and actually the amount of people
• 1:07:30
  that she must have hosted per week strangers.
• 1:07:33
  There's one Christmas dinner we sat around the table and not
• 1:07:35
  joking, there was the postman, the window cleaner and the
• 1:07:39
  milkman sat with me, my Gran, my mom and my step dad.
• 1:07:44
  And it stuck with me. And I remember Cinder in the
• 1:07:46
  kitchen. Why is the poorest man in there?
• 1:07:50
  And she said cause I it bumped into him this morning and he
• 1:07:53
  said he had no plans. And that must have like soaked
• 1:07:57
  into my body. And I just think that's normal
• 1:08:01
  you. Know having a night.
• 1:08:04
  So she's the exception. We would horse like 30 people on
• 1:08:07
  a Saturday night. She has a canal boat and she
• 1:08:10
  would cook Sunday dinner for, yeah, literally like 35 people.
• 1:08:14
  And there she did a canal boats 57 foot with I don't even know
• 1:08:18
  how wide it is. 6 foot wide maybe?
• 1:08:20
  Very now, but what are you? Saying a narrow bar to Canal
• 1:08:23
  Bart, the boat on the canal. On the canal, yeah.
• 1:08:27
  Yeah, so she had a boat. We have a boss and so I was
• 1:08:31
  brought up on it like every Friday to Monday morning.
• 1:08:34
  We would live on the canal boat and just sail around the UK and
• 1:08:37
  then sometimes get the train home to go back to school.
• 1:08:40
  Are you? I had thought you were talking
• 1:08:41
  about a boat like that. You put like a like a board,
• 1:08:45
  like a host, like a sushi boat, but like.
• 1:08:48
  A boat. On a boat on water and hosting
• 1:08:51
  dinner there. Well, I remember she would just
• 1:08:53
  pass the plates of Sunday dinner outside and everyone had to sit
• 1:08:57
  on the side of the canal on the towpath, it's called because
• 1:09:00
  there's no room inside the boy. It was so full.
• 1:09:03
  So all that to say, she is the exception.
• 1:09:05
  I don't know how she did all of the things, books in general.
• 1:09:13
  I think the women of the Martha Eviscerate maybe weren't working
• 1:09:17
  as much. And I think the world was a bit
• 1:09:19
  different and it did all look perfect.
• 1:09:22
  And I think we're coming out of it and we're a bit sick of it.
• 1:09:25
  And we want to see the mess and we want the businesses
• 1:09:28
  humanized. And there's been this huge shift
• 1:09:31
  where we want to follow the CEO. Like Can you imagine 40 years
• 1:09:36
  ago getting to know the CEO? Of whomever your favorite brand.
• 1:09:40
  Yeah, when you click on the brand now I want to click on the
• 1:09:43
  founder and see the mess behind the founder.
• 1:09:46
  That's what I'm. Been into the about section is
• 1:09:48
  the most visited page on a website because people want to
• 1:09:51
  know who you are. Was your mom obsessed with
• 1:09:54
  perfection though? No, no.
• 1:09:56
  Was it? All about like, was she
• 1:09:58
  measuring? No, she was letting people sit
• 1:10:00
  on the side of the canal. Yeah.
• 1:10:02
  So when you say like, I don't know how she did it, I mean, it
• 1:10:06
  sounds like she took on a hell of a job, but it's like this
• 1:10:09
  whole conversation is just making me feel like just do it.
• 1:10:14
  Just do it. Just do it.
• 1:10:16
  You don't even know how many people even invite it.
• 1:10:18
  I think it's roughly 30-O35 show up.
• 1:10:20
  Great, Here's a plate. It's so interesting because we
• 1:10:24
  had a stable draw. Our home is think like 17 or 4.
• 1:10:27
  It's really old and it has a stable dar and it's on a really
• 1:10:31
  famous walkway in North Yorkshire.
• 1:10:33
  So I just remember that that top part of the door would always be
• 1:10:37
  open and we have an Arga which heated the house.
• 1:10:40
  And so she would not be able to rest, go to sleep, anything
• 1:10:44
  without something cooking in that age or all times.
• 1:10:48
  And she would just pass food and cups of tea out to strangers
• 1:10:52
  walking past all day long. Like it was just so normal to
• 1:10:57
  me. And now I look back thinking,
• 1:11:00
  that's not that common. And I was worried that moving to
• 1:11:03
  another country would mean I couldn't create that.
• 1:11:07
  And whenever Dean would say, I'm not going home, I would think,
• 1:11:10
  well, I have to because I have to recreate that.
• 1:11:13
  And somehow in Squamish, we've got this home at the end of a
• 1:11:16
  cul-de-sac. And it, it is really old for
• 1:11:19
  Canada. It's 1952 or something.
• 1:11:21
  We call it the little Blue House.
• 1:11:23
  Everybody knows that doors open and the kettles on.
• 1:11:26
  We have the annoying whistling kettle that used to drive me
• 1:11:29
  crazy is always now on and I'm like recreating all the things
• 1:11:34
  that my mum did same thing with. Nor care for the perfection.
• 1:11:39
  No one cares. You have to be like, this is the
• 1:11:42
  it's so funny you say that about the door being open and the
• 1:11:45
  kettle being on. Because I have this dream.
• 1:11:47
  There's something that's holding me back.
• 1:11:49
  It's this like fear of showing imperfection in my home where I
• 1:11:54
  want people to stop by unannounced.
• 1:11:57
  Like I have a dream of people stopping by and me saying come
• 1:12:01
  in for a cup of. Coffee, everybody stops at our
• 1:12:03
  house and announce. Actually, last year I was told.
• 1:12:08
  In jest, of course, but partly serious that I'd reach my
• 1:12:12
  quarter on friends. Dean was like, I don't even know
• 1:12:14
  who's walking in this door by this point.
• 1:12:16
  I don't even know what they're called.
• 1:12:17
  I don't know what their name is or who they are or what they're
• 1:12:20
  doing. And so when I thought about
• 1:12:22
  dying, I thought, but if I could get paid to make friends, maybe
• 1:12:27
  it's allowed. And with that, Emily Schimmel,
• 1:12:32
  everybody. Emily, what is something you're
• 1:12:34
  still trying to figure out? Everything.
• 1:12:39
  Everything. Thank you for coming on.
• 1:12:44
  Thank you for having. Me.
• 1:12:46
  This has been so much fun. Let's do it again.
• 1:12:49
  Can't wait to do brunch on a Sunday with toys everywhere.
• 1:12:52
  Me too.