Latest / The Family Teams Podcast / Ep. 60 | Set an Example Worth Following

Transcript

Ep. 60 | Set an Example Worth Following · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:00
  It's really important to see that when you invest in your own growth, you are investing in your children. These things are so intricately linked.
• 0:13
  Hey guys, welcome to the 5-Minute Fatherhood Podcast. I'm your co-host, Jeff Bethke, along with my friend and mentor, Jeremy Pryor. Join us Monday through Friday as we chat about quick tips, skills, and ways to help equip you on your journey as a father to build your multi-generational family team on mission. Stay tuned.
• 0:34
  Hey guys, it's Jeff and Jeremy for the 5-Minute Fatherhood Podcast. And I want to give you guys a quote today from the inventor Charles Kettering. He invented the Freon. I saw this on the Google Doc real quick. What is Freon? I feel like isn't that the stuff you put in your car? Exactly. Yeah. He was a really cool guy. Yeah, for air conditioning or whatever. Yeah. I'm dropping the dad joke.
• 0:54
  Yeah. Oh, touche. I missed that. I missed that. At first I thought you were just like plugging how awesome he was. Okay. That was, that was over my head. He is awesome. He's, uh, my life, my quality of life in the summer is, and yours in Maui probably is totally dependent on this poor guy. So not only was he a great inventor, he also was a good thinker, at least on fatherhood. And he said that every father, this is a quote, every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice.
• 1:23
  And so one of the things, you guys, that when you think about really growing in your role as a dad, a lot of times we can talk about tips and tricks and hacks and all of these things, and they're all super valuable, and we're going to talk about a lot of those.
• 1:38
  in the course of the Five Minute Fatherhood, but we really want to also give some airtime to, man, your kids are going to be so much more impacted by who you are than anything else. And so it's really important, you guys, that you develop your own character, that you pursue the Lord in your own discipleship, that you work on areas of your life that are weak or that are damaging your relationships.
• 2:03
  All of those things are going to pay massive dividends for your children for the future. There's another quote that says that your actions are screaming so loud, I can't hear a word you say. And I think that that is the way a lot of kids relate to their dads. And so I think it's a great quote. It's really important to keep this in mind. It's really important to see that when you invest in your own growth, you are investing in your children. These things are so...
• 2:31
  intricately linked that it's important never to disentangle them. But yeah, what are your thoughts on that?
• 2:37
  Yeah. Well, I mean, I think specifically with the family team stuff and thinking about sports and analogies like there, I mean, the analogy that you always hear in sports is like, and even I guess business or whatever, is like the culture or DNA or all these different things. It's caught, not taught. Like there is a level at which when there's such proximity and there's such intimacy over two decades, three decades, even even longer, obviously, once a kid leaves the home, still connected in relationship, that it is that...
• 3:02
  That actually is, in essence, the thing where they have the ability to see you closer than anyone else. And so that's the thing that will speak to them, not the words, because the words can, you know, be a lecture on a Sunday if that's your job or something like that, you know, that anyone anyone can hear. So the special access that your kids get actually, in some sense, isn't your words. It's actually your life.
• 3:22
  That's actually the more intimate access they get that's special about them. And so you want that to then actually support the words, not negate the words. And so I think, yeah, we have to always be really sensitive to that. And no one's calling us to be perfect. Well, in some sense, the scriptures are, but Jesus fulfills that and calls us into that. What I mean by that is you don't...
• 3:43
  you will mess up and you won't be a perfect example with your actions. But I also think have humility and have repentance be there, specifically when the kids are older and they can actually understand it in a true relational way. Because I know a lot of people where they...
• 3:59
  Like I know a lot of friends who they actually talk about their dads or even their moms and their weaknesses in a really beautiful way. And like they very much like see it for what it is and understand it. And every time I hear a person talk like that about their parents, I can almost always tell by how they're talking that it's based on how the parent like treated that weakness personally.
• 4:19
  In like, you know what I mean? Like how they like, like the, basically like the parent was really open and honest of like, Hey, like I'm working, like the Lord's doing this in me, like, you know, to my son, you know, they would say like, and this is something that I'm working on. And then like, there was kind of a humility in their heart about their own, rather than almost trying to shell themselves off to their kids and let the kids never see the weakness. So I think that's one little caveat to that conversation of like.
• 4:40
  that it's not even necessarily about the... It is about the action, but then even one step farther, it's not necessarily even about just the action, but then also if you are negating your words, it's very much about how you respond to that and kind of your spirit and demeanor in that, which then I would then actually as a...
• 4:57
  supporting thing of those actions than are the things that are speaking loud. So it's like, it kind of is this circle, but yeah, I think this is truer more than we can think. And it's possessed specifically in our culture. We also have to give weight to the fact that like cultural currency, we hold, uh,
• 5:12
  authenticity and like an anti hypocrisy in the highest regard in our culture more than any other culture has in history. And so like we have to be weary of that, of like that actually stepping into like that pressure, but in a good way, I think of like, man, our culture will let you speak and will, I think, let you talk if you, if,
• 5:31
  are the same person outside or inside. You know what I mean? And very much like integrity filled in the light and good character. I do believe our culture holds that in high regard, which is kind of a cool part about that. And so higher standard, but then also allows you to speak when your actions are there. So that's what we would encourage you guys and you dads with today is just take a look and actually assess, man, what is my life actually speaking? And is it going the trajectory I want and doing and creating the home and culture I want?
• 5:57
  Hey guys, if you like this short content on 5-Minute Fatherhood, then you're going to love long-form interviews that Jeremy and I do with other dads just like you over at Dads Building Teams. We go much more in-depth hearing the stories, challenges, and journeys of different dads who are trying to build multi-generational teams on mission. Just go to whatever podcast platform you use and search for Dads Building Teams.