Latest / Rooted & Real With Keenan / Freedom Isn't Free: The Responsibilities We Forgot
Transcript
- Keenan: So as we've been talking today, I hope you've noticed something. This conversation was never really about Washington. It wasn't about the government. It was never really about politics. It was never really about just one speech. was about us. Because regardless of where we land politically, every of us wakes up each morning with something valuable that has been entrusted to us our faith. Hey y'all. So almost 4th of July. ⁓ I recently came across this movie. it's in the God's Not Dead series. It's called We the People, and something in that movie really inspired me to do this. So let's things with who I am. name's Keenan. I'm a registered mental health counseling intern right here in Orlando, but that's only for a short time because I passed my ⁓ Okay, so So, know, ⁓ hugging in there, we're staying strong. We've talked about something that I think is true for every one of us. Freedom doesn't really disappear overnight. It fades ⁓ gradually, almost invisible. So was the last time ⁓ appreciated breathing? Like ⁓ appreciated it. Not just taking a breath, but actually appreciating it. Our families, our friendships, minds, our our influence, our time, freedom. And here's what I've become more convinced of over the years. Everything valuable in life ⁓ must be Licensing exam. So for those of you that don't know, it's one of the hardest pieces of getting licensed. So I passed it. So twenty twenty seven, we'll see. But anyway, ⁓ I really grateful that you're here spending a part of your day with me when you could be doing something else, you know. Probably not recently, because breathing is automatic. Until it isn't. Until it's hard to breathe. Ask someone who has spent time in an ICU. Ask someone living with chronic lung disease. Ask someone who has experienced a panic attack. A genuine belief they couldn't catch their breath. Suddenly, breath matters. It's how quickly ordinary things become extraordinary once they're threatened. And that brings us to a question I think every one of us should wrestle with. if no one has to take freedom because you're already giving it away? Whether you're driving to work, sitting on your porch with your cup of coffee, folding laundry, walking the dog, or just trying to catch your breath after a long day, want you to know something. I am really glad you're here. This podcast exists because life gets noisy. We're constantly told what to think, what to buy, what to ⁓ who we're who to become, what should make us happy. ⁓ Now, I know that's a strong statement, but stay with me. Cause I'm not talking about politics. I'm talking about everyday life. talking about the decisions we make, the habits we build, and the people we're becoming. So let's look at that word, stewardship. It isn't a word we use often anymore, but it's a deeply biblical idea. A steward understood something very important. Nothing ultimately belonged to him. He had been entrusted with something valuable. And one day, he would give an account for how he cared for it. That changes the way you look at life. My children. They're ultimately God's children. I think that's one of the greatest paradoxes of being human. We adapt. We're incredibly resilient, but we're also incredibly forgetful. I've noticed something about human beings. We are consistently making traits. And somewhere in all that noise, it's easy to lose ourselves. my hope every week is really simple to slow things down, to have honest conversations about faith, mental health, and relationships, purpose, and it really looks like to become emotionally healthy while staying deeply rooted in Christ. So thank you all for being here. But before we jump in, you know, my standard disclaimer. As a therapist, one concept that comes up often is something psychologists call hedonic adaptation. Now, don't let the term intimidate you. It's actually pretty simple. Human beings are remarkably good at getting used to things. You finally buy a car you've always wanted, six months later, meh. It's just your car. You move into your dream home. You're so excited. And then eventually. Some are good, some aren't. We trade sleep for more episodes on Netflix. We trade exercise for convenience. trade conversations for text messages. We trade presence for productivity. We trade prayer ⁓ another five minutes of scrolling. And none of those decisions feel life changing. They're ordinary. But ordinary decisions become extraordinary over time. A single drop of water. I'm entrusted with them. My marriage, a gift. I'm entrusted with it. My counseling practice, it's gift. I'm entrusted with it. This podcast, it's a gift. I'm entrusted with it. And even my time, my abilities, my opportunities, my influence. Everything we talk about today is for education, encouragement, personal growth. And although I am a therapist, I'm not your therapist. This podcast isn't a substitute for counseling, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you're experiencing a mental health emergency, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room or contact 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Okay, so let's get into today's conversation. A few weeks ago, I saw this movie that I mentioned earlier and I heard a speech. doesn't crave a canyon. Millions of drops do. The same is true for our lives. The person you become ten years from now won't be shaped by one dramatic decision. It'll be shaped by thousands of ordinary ones. It's just a home. You land the job you've been praying for. A year later, it's just work. The excitement fades. The blessing becomes normal. And before long, you stop notice noticing what once filled what you were once filled with gratitude. And that doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you human. But if we're not careful. They're all gifts. gifts aren't meant to be taken for granted. ⁓ meant to be cared for. One of the things I think most often about is my children. What kind of man will they remember? Will they remember someone who was always busy, ⁓ or someone who present? Will they remember someone who talked about faith? Or someone who lived it? Will they remember someone who chased success? Or someone who chased Can we talk about attention for a second? Because honestly, I believe attention is one of the most valuable resources in the world. Every app on your phone wants it. Every advertisement needs it. Every notification wants it. news headline needs it. Every social media platform is competing for one thing. Not your money, your attention. Because wherever your attention goes, ⁓ life. And before you reach out for that skip button, just hear me out here. Because this episode isn't pop about politics, and I'm not even a political person. I try to follow it, try to learn about it, but actually, this podcast is something far more personal than podcasts. The speech I heard was simply reminded me of something that I'd forgotten. And honestly, maybe some of y'all forgotten too. The speaker in the story. So let me set the stage so that. It'll also make us vulnerable because what becomes ordinary often no longer is protected. I've seen this happen in the counseling room. Someone spends years battling anxiety. Every morning begins with dread. Every decision feels overwhelming. what if spirals into another. Then ⁓ Those questions have become more important to me than almost anything else right now. Because whether we realize it or not, we've always, we're always handing something to the next generation. Not just through our words, through our lives. Children far more from what they consistently observe than what they occasionally hear. The same is true in every relationship. Eventually follows. Think about it. If your attention is consistently filled with fear, it's difficult to become more peaceful. If your attention is consistently filled with outrage, it's difficult to become compassionate. If your attention is consistently filled with comparison, it's difficult to become grateful. Jesus said this your treasure is, there your heart will be also. You understand what's going on. This pastor is appearing before Congress. he a statement that I couldn't get out of my head. Go see the movie God's Not Dead, We the People. And he that maybe the people who understand freedom the best are often the people who've lived without it. So I kept thinking about that. Not because I was thinking about Washington or Trump or whoever, and not because I was thinking about Congress. ⁓ Through a lot of hard work, they begin to heal. The panic attack becomes less frequent, sleep returns, slowly comes back. Life starts to feel manageable again. At first, they're incredibly intentional. They keep up with healthy habits. They guard their routines. They gratitude. But sometimes, months later, People are watching, coworkers, our friends, our neighbors. They're paying attention to what we value. I wonder if today he might also ask, where is your attention? Because our attention often reveals what our hearts are becoming. I was thinking about my own office, my own life. One of the greatest privileges of my job is getting to sit across from people during some of the hardest seasons of their lives. People who are exhausted. People carrying anxiety they can't explain. People navigating grief. Parents trying to figure out how to help their kids. Couples wondering if their marriage can survive. Not what we say we value, what our lives actually reveal. Those same habits begin slipping away. Not because they don't care, because the crisis has passed. And here's what I've learned. Sometimes success creates a different kind of temptation. The temptation to believe I don't need to be intentional anymore. But healing doesn't sustain itself. Neither does peace. One of the questions I ask clients from time to time is surprisingly simple. What consumes your mind when you have nothing else to think about? That question tells me a lot because whenever it whatever occupies our idle moments often reveals what occupies our hearts. For some people, it's worry. For some people, it's resentment. For others, it's achievement. For some, So let me be transparent here for a minute. There are times when I catch myself believing that if I just accomplish one more thing, finally feel settled. One client, ⁓ one certification, one more episode, ⁓ one more one more goal. I remember something. The finish line keeps moving, the goalposts keep shifting. Men wrestling with shame they've never told another soul about. trying to figure out who they are in a world that's consistently telling them who they should be. So week I get a front row seat to ⁓ human And one I've noticed over and over again is that people rarely appreciate freedom until they've experienced captivity. Now, when I captivity, I'm not talking about prison, not talking about being a cage. ⁓ It's fear of the future. For others, regret about the past. And occasionally, someone smiles and says, ⁓ family, my faith, my purpose, my next adventure. Those aren't accidental. They're cultivated. Their mind grows in the direction we repeatedly point it. neither does a healthy marriage. Neither does physical health. Neither does your vibrant faith. The things that matter most require ongoing stewardship. If I build my life around achievement, there will always be another mountain to climb. It will never stop. But if I build my life around faithfulness, I can experience joy even while I'm still climbing. That realization has changed the way I think about success. Success isn't doing everything. Success is being faithful with what God has placed in front of me today. Think about a garden. Nobody plants a garden in the spring, back in the fall, and expects it to be thriving without any work. Weeds need permission. Neglect is enough. No one wakes up one morning and decides, I really like ⁓ I'd like my marriage to drift apart. It happens through neglected conversations, ⁓ missed ⁓ I'm talking about emotional captivity. The kind that says, I can't stop worrying. I can't forgive. I can't sleep. I can't trust anyone. can't get past what happened. I imagine life ever feeling different. And maybe you've you're listening to this and you've been there. Maybe you're right there now. And if you are, I want you to know you're not alive. The freedom of peace. Let's talk about peace. Not the kind of peace that comes life is easy. ⁓ talking about the kind of peace that remains even when life isn't. ⁓ Jesus never promises followers an easy an easy life. He promises presence. And there's a difference ⁓ because your peace on your circumstances. You've always been one phone call away from losing it, one diagnosis, one layoff. You know who inspires me? The quiet heroes. The mom who keeps showing up every day even though nobody applauds. The dad working hard to provide while making it home in time to catch Little League, to coach Little League. The teacher who believes in the student everyone else is written off. The pastor faithfully serving in a small church. The counselor who listens to one hurting person after another. Unspoken appreciation, unresolved hurt. parents says, ⁓ hope I'm emotionally distant from my children. But distance grows when life becomes busier than connection. No one says, I'd love to feel spiritually dry. Nobody says that. But spiritual drift happens when our calendars become fuller than our time with God. The remarkable thing about drift. You are not alone. So without sharing, you know, people's personal information, I've seen people spend years believing anxiety would always define them. And then slowly, through counseling, through friends, through community, through hard work, through faith, through prayer, they begin to experience peace again. Not perfect peace, real peace. ⁓ One difficult conversation, one unexpected bill, one tragedy. But if your peace is rooted in Christ, circumstances may shake you, but they won't have to define you. That's a freedom worth protecting. The volunteer who quietly serves without needing recognition. The grandparent who faithfully prays for their family every morning. The husband who chooses forgiveness. The wife who chooses grace. The teenager who chooses integrity when everyone else is compromising. History isn't only shaped by famous people. Most of history is shaped by ordinary people like you and me. Is that it's almost always unintentional. That's what makes it so dangerous. And almost every one of them says something remarkably similar. Keenan, I forgot what this feels like. I forgot what it felt like to laugh. I forgot what it felt like to wake up without dread. I forgot what hope felt like. And think about that. They didn't just regain peace, rediscovered something they didn't realize they'd lost. And that fascinates me. Here's another freedom I worry we're losing. The freedom to simply tell the truth. Not my truth, not your truth. Truth. The reality that says you are sitting here watching and andor listening to me right now. Truth that says you and I are sitting in this room right now. Truth to admit when we're wrong. Truth to apologize, to forgive, to have difficult conversations. Imagine you're standing on the beach. You decide to relax for a while. You spread out your towel. You read a book. You lay in the sun. You close your eyes. Thirty minutes later, you sit up. look around. And suddenly you realize you're a hundred yards away from where you started. What happened? How did this happen? The current? Making faithful decisions over and over again. That's where real change happens. So let me ask you this question What is one freedom, one relationship, value, one that God is inviting you to protect a little more intentionally this week? Maybe it's dinner with your family. Because maybe the greatest losses in our lives the ones that happen all at once. Maybe they're the ones ⁓ happen so gradually we barely notice. ⁓ Without immediately assuming the worst about each other. Our culture has become incredibly good at speaking. I'm not sure we've become equally good at listening. Real conversations require humility. Humility is becoming increasingly rare, and when humility disappears, relationships usually aren't far behind. You never felt it. You weren't trying to move. You weren't swimming away. But while you weren't paying attention, the water was carrying you somewhere else. I think that's one of the best pictures ever heard. Most people don't intentionally drift, they simply stop paying attention. Maybe it's protecting Sunday as a day of worship and rest. Maybe it's protecting your marriage by scheduling a date night instead of hoping one magically appears. Maybe it's protecting your mental health by finally setting boundaries. Maybe it's protecting your peace by turning off the news for a day. Maybe it's protecting your soul by opening your Bible before opening social media. don't underestimate small decisions. Have you ever driven home, pulled into your driveway, turned off the car, and realized don't even remember the drive. You were there. Your hands were on the wheel, your feet were on the pedals, your eyes were open. But your mind was somewhere else. Life can feel like that. We become so busy surviving that we stop noticing what we're slowly surrendering. So I want to confess something. Sometimes my daughter reminds me of what actually matters. Children have a remarkable ability to expose our priorities. They don't care how many emails you've answered. They don't care how many followers you have. They don't care how many people are listening. They don't care how productive you've been. They simply want you. Not a distracted version of you. Not the version checking notifications every two minutes. You. So one of the things I love the bot about the Bible is that it doesn't pretend drift isn't real. In fact, it warns us about it repeatedly. The writer of Hebrews encourages believers to pay careful attention so that they do not drift away. Jesus often invited people to remain, remain in him, abide in him. Small decisions become habits. Habits become character. Character becomes legacy. Our attention, our peace, gratitude, our marriages, our friendships, our time with God, not because someone stole them, but because life slowly crowded them out without us realizing it. So it's a quote that's often arbitrated to different people, and while its exact origin is debated. Imagine for moment that you're walking through Washington, DC. You pass the monuments, memorials, the carved into stone, thousands of names, people most us will never meet. People who laughed, people who cried, who loved their families, ⁓ who had who made sacrifices. Every Stay connected. Because knows something about human nature that we don't. Life unattended often life our hearts drift, not all at once, a little at time, towards comfort, towards distraction, towards self sufficiency, towards whatever seems urgent in that moment. Remaining requires intention. Fully present. I've caught myself before reaching for my phone, my computer, or whatever, only to realize the person I love the most is standing right in front of me asking for my attention. And that stings a little because it reminds me that attention is one of the purest forms of love. you give someone your undivided attention, you're secretly telling them you matter. What if one of the greatest gifts you could give our spouses, ⁓ kids, our ⁓ I think the idea worth reflecting on is this. What you don't protect, you eventually lose. I mean, think about it. If you stop maintaining your house, problems become expensive problems. Your house falls apart. If you stop investing in your marriage, distance doesn't usually happen overnight. It grows one missed conversation at a time. If you stop exercising, your body notices. ⁓ stop praying, your soul notices. monument silently asks the same question. What will you do with what you've been given? Is simply our presence. What if it was that simple? Here's something I've been wrestling with. We often talk about freedom as if it's passive, almost like a freedom is a destination. I've arrived. I'm free. But maybe freedom isn't a destination at all. Maybe it's a daily decision. Every morning I choose whether fear gets to lead my day. Every morning I choose whether resentment gets another seat at my table. Every morning I choose whether I feed gratitude or entitlement. Every morning I choose whether my phone gets my first attention. Comparison is another thief. Comparison is the thief of joy, and it's sneaky because it rarely announces itself. It whispers. You should be further along. It whispers, you should have more. It whispers, they're succeeding faster than you. Their marriage looks happier. Their family looks perfect. You should have passed that test by now. Their ministry is growing, their business is thriving. They have more clients than you. And it's probably one of the most important questions we'll ever answer, just for Americans, but as followers of Christ, as husbands and wives, as parents, as friends, as neighbors, as human beings, what we do with what's been entrusted to us? ⁓ If you stop spending intentional time with your kids, else will begin shaping their worldview. Life usually changed by one dramatic decision. It's shaped by thousands ⁓ ordinary ⁓ ones we don't even realize are doing it. I've had the opportunity to spend some time in Washington, DC, a long time ago, before we were married. And one thing that stuck out to me wasn't the politics, it was monuments. Or whether God does. These choices seem small You're comparing your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel. Comparison has been around since the beginning of humanity. media just put it in our pockets. Contentment pretending life is perfect. Contentment is recognizing God's goodness ⁓ even life is per imperfect. ⁓ Paul that he had learned the secret of being content. Notice that word, learned. Contentment doesn't happen automatically. So if you've listened to this whole episode, I hope you remember one sentence. Not because I said it, but because I believe it's true. Freedom is not something we simply inherit. Freedom is something we steward. Whether we're talking about emotional freedom, spiritual freedom, relational freedom, or freedom, we enjoy in our communities. The Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument, the World War II Memorial, the Vietnam veterans memorials. Each one stands there day after day, year after year, without saying a word. Yet somehow they're speaking. They're reminding us that somebody came before us. Somebody sacrificed. Somebody endured hardship. that's what that says. Until you add them together over ten years. And that's where lives are built or quietly unraveled. They don't sustain themselves. They require gratitude. They require intentionality. They require responsibility. And perhaps most of all, they require ordinary people who refuse to become complacent. It's practiced, it's reminded, it's cultivated, it's chosen, it is decided. Somebody paid a price so future generations could experience something they might never fully understand or even get. I started wondering what if monuments aren't really for the dead? What if they're there for us, the living? What if they're there to interrupt our forgetfulness? Because human beings forget. We forget where we came from. We forget who helped us. We forget the prayers that were answered. We forget people. As I was prepar preparing for this episode today, I kept coming back to one question. And honestly, I've been asking it of myself first. What is currently discipling me? Think about that. Every voice is shaping you, every habit is shaping you, every relationship is shaping you. podcast, every book, every show, every social media account. about this as husband, as a dad. As a counselor, as someone trying to follow Jesus, I don't want to wake up 20 years from now and wonder where the time went. I don't want to I don't want success to cost me presence. I don't want productivity to replace peace. I don't want ministry to replace intimacy with Christ. I don't want being busy helping other people become emotionally health healthy to keep me from tending to my own soul. So this week, don't just ask yourself, am I free from? ⁓ yourself, what am I free for? Who can I encourage? Who can I forgive? Who needs my time? What needs my attention? What habit needs to change? What truth do I need to remember? And what has God Who believed in us before we believed in ourselves? We forget how far God has brought us. We are forgetful. But can I be honest? I'm guilty of this too. There are seasons where I've become so focused on what's next. The next client, the next podcast, the next exam, the next goal, the next opportunity. Every conversation, every sermon, every session, they're all forming you into someone. The question isn't whether you're being discipled. The question is whom? And towards what? Towards peace, more fear, toward more or more entitlement? Towards Christ? Or simply toward To me. deserves stewardship. Maybe you can relate. you've been so focused on providing that you've forgotten to be present. Maybe you've become so busy chasing tomorrow that you've missed today. I've been there. Trust me. And I suspect I'm not the only one. That I forgot to stop and thank God where I am today. I forgot the prayers he already answered. I forgot the doors he's already opened. forget that the people he's placed in my life. And when gratitude disappears, entitlement ⁓ moves in. And that's true for nations. That's true for churches. That's true for families. ⁓ it's certainly true for me. Your legacy won't ultimately be built by one extraordinary moment. It will be built by thousands of ordinary moments where you quietly chose faithfulness. I don't believe most people intentionally drift away from what matters. I think they become distracted. Life gets busy, bills pile up, kids need rides, becomes demanding, responsibilities, the responsibilities multiply, and slowly the become begins replacing the important. Not because we choose it, because we never stop to ask whether it was happening. This is where I think freedom and stewardship meet. Freedom isn't just having options. Freedom is having the wisdom to choose well. You are free to spend your evening scrolling on social media, scrolling TikTok, Facebook, Instagram. You're also free to sit on the floor and build Legos with your kids. You're free to hold on to bitterness. You're also free to begin the difficult journey of forgiveness. You're free to chase success at all cost. You're also free to define success differently. Father, thank you for every good gift you've entrusted to us. Thank you for the freedom we have in Christ. Thank you for our families, our friendships, our communities, and the opportunities you've placed before us. Forgive us for the moments we become distracted. Forgive us for taking your blessings for granted. Teach us to be people who steward our lives well. Help us to protect what matters most. Give us wisdom. So here's the question I want you to wrestle with today. Not freedoms might be someone take away from me someday, but what freedoms have I slowly stopped protecting? Have I protected my peace? Have I protected my integrity? Have I protected my marriage? Have I protected my relationship with my kids? Have protected my time with God? That's what that's why reflection matters. That's why Sabbath matters. That's why prayers matter. They interrupt the current before it carries us further than we intended to go. So freedom isn't simply about what we're free from. Freedom isn't simply asking what can I do? It's asking what kind of person do I want to become? Because every decision, no matter how ordinary, is shaping someone. The question is, who? To know what deserves our attention, courage to live with conviction, and hearts that remain grateful for your grace. our lives point people towards you, and may the legacy we leave behind reflect your love and faithfulness. In name, Amen. Maybe it's also about what we're free for. What God has actually called us to do with the freedom He's given us. How do we steward it? How do we protect it? And perhaps most importantly, how do we pass it on to the next generation? Because I believe freedom reaches its fullest expression, not when we merely enjoy it, but when we use it to love God, love others, and leave the world better than we found it. So Have I protected my attention? ⁓ I handed it over to every notification that lights up my phone? Because here's what I believe freedom, whether emotional, spiritual, relational, or societal, rarely disappears all at once. It fades. One ⁓ one ⁓ So as we continue this conversation, I want to get even more practical because there are freedoms we surrender every single day without realizing it. Not because someone takes them, because we're willing to trade them. We trade peace for constant comparison, presence for productivity, conviction for comfort, depth for distraction. And if we're honest. Thank you all so much for spending this time with me. If today's conversation encouraged you, challenged you, or made you stop and think, would you do me a favor? Share this episode with one person. Not because I want more downloads or more followers, but because meaningful conversations have a way of multiplying hope. One neglected responsibility at a time. And I I want to explore something that has completely changed the way I think about freedom. Why is it that people who cherish freedom the most are often the people who remember what it felt like to live without it? We'll dive into that psychology behind that, what scripture says about that, and why this is why this principle can transform the way we approach our faith, our families, and our everyday lives. glad you're here. Let's keep going. Most of us have made those trades at one point or another. let's talk about the freedom nobody warns us about losing and what it looks like to begin protecting them again. If you haven't already, I'd love for you to s to subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast. Leave a rating or review that really helps more people discover the show. And I'm grateful for every one of you who takes a minute to do that. Thank you all so much for listening. I'm really excited to what's coming for us today. and just like all the other episodes, or just like today, ⁓ if stirred up like a question inside of you or a thought, I'd love to hear from you. Reach out on social media through my website. Some of my favorite episodes had started with conversations from listeners just like you. And remember this. ⁓ You don't have to change the whole world this week, but you can be faithful with one small piece of it that God has entrusted to you. Protect your peace, protect your family, protect your integrity, protect your relationship with Christ. And never forget, the strongest lives aren't built through dramatic moments. They're built through daily faithfulness. Thank you all for listening. And until next time. Stay rooted, stay real. And I'll see you on the next episode.