Latest / Talking FACS / How to respond when your child says ”I don’t like it!”
Transcript
- 0:01Welcome to talking facts.
- 0:03What you need to know about family food,
- 0:05finance and fitness.
- 0:07This nationally recognized award winning podcast is hosted by the University of Kentucky Family and consumer sciences extension program.
- 0:16Our educators share research knowledge with individuals,
- 0:19families and communities to improve quality of life.
- 0:24Hello and welcome to talking facts.
- 0:26What you need to know about family food,
- 0:28finance and fitness.
- 0:30I am Mindy McCulley,
- 0:31extension specialist for instructional support,
- 0:34the family and consumer sciences extension at the University of Kentucky.
- 0:37My guest today is dr Courtney looking assistant extension professor and specialist for maternal and child health.
- 0:44Welcome Courtney.
- 0:45Hello,
- 0:46Mindy.
- 0:46So we are gonna talk about that dreaded No word.
- 0:52Oh yes,
- 0:53observing kids food,
- 0:54right?
- 0:55Yes,
- 0:56that can be a really emotional experience for sure,
- 1:00definitely can.
- 1:01So our topic is how to respond when a child says I don't like it and I know I raised two boys and now I have a granddaughter and there are some times when Children just simply don't like food.
- 1:15And so what are we gonna do,
- 1:18What are we gonna do when the child doesn't like everything on the plate?
- 1:22Yes.
- 1:23So mindy first,
- 1:23I want to ask,
- 1:24how does it feel for you when they say no or they don't like it or they don't want it.
- 1:29So as a grandmother,
- 1:30I respond a whole lot differently than I did as a mother of course,
- 1:34as a mother.
- 1:36I take it personally.
- 1:37Like they don't like whatever it is I'm cooking or they don't like the way I prepare something Now,
- 1:41I'm like,
- 1:42okay,
- 1:43we'll just go onto something else.
- 1:45So yes,
- 1:46as I have aged,
- 1:47either I've gotten more mellow or maybe I've realized that not everybody has the same taste buds and it's gonna be okay and she'll be fine,
- 1:55we'll find something that she likes to eat on the plate somewhere.
- 1:59Your experience is very valuable.
- 2:02And but hearing your kind of initial reactions as the parent in this situation,
- 2:07emotions can come into play,
- 2:09feeling a variety,
- 2:11frustration,
- 2:12disappointment,
- 2:13anger,
- 2:14sadness and more.
- 2:15And so I think how do we navigate this first is to acknowledge these feelings so that we don't go into like a power struggle with our Children.
- 2:24So take a breath and then get curious about what exactly they do not like about it.
- 2:30So find out,
- 2:32ask the questions you don't like this,
- 2:34What is it that we don't like about it Exactly.
- 2:37Because a few basic questions can help identify usually a quick and easy solution that does not require throwing out the food or feeling like a short order cook.
- 2:47So what are those questions that we need to ask?
- 2:51Let's start with flavor taste is one of our biggest drivers of what and why we eat.
- 2:58And there are five categories.
- 3:00We have sweet,
- 3:02salty,
- 3:03sour,
- 3:04savory and bitter.
- 3:05Each of those flavor profiles,
- 3:08send a specific message to the brain about how rewarding or risky a certain food might be.
- 3:14So we think about those sour and more bitter foods,
- 3:18those could be a sign of danger where sweet is really,
- 3:21really rewarding and Children typically prefer sweet and salty flavor?
- 3:26So remembering that can be helpful to us don't change that much as we get over right,
- 3:31We still like the sweet and the salty.
- 3:33We do,
- 3:34we do.
- 3:35And so if a child has a strong reaction to tasting of food,
- 3:40start to ask questions,
- 3:41it's going to depend on the child's age,
- 3:44whether you can just ask them,
- 3:45what don't you like about it or whether we need to try to offer options to help them process,
- 3:51Was it too spicy?
- 3:53Was it too salty in the future?
- 3:55We could just change our,
- 3:56how we season and prepare the foods.
- 3:59Did it taste blah,
- 4:01did it taste like nothing,
- 4:03then we can try to offer it with a dip or a Sprinkle of cheese or something,
- 4:08was it too bitter?
- 4:09You know,
- 4:10maybe their mouth,
- 4:11maybe their face will give you a visual cue as to what kind of flavor they were experiencing.
- 4:15And so in the future we could cook foods in a different way.
- 4:20So,
- 4:20cauliflower is a great example of this.
- 4:22We could serve it raw,
- 4:24steamed mashed or roasted still the same food,
- 4:27but each of those preparation methods offers a different taste or flavor profile and I think that's a great example because I don't like cauliflower raw,
- 4:40but I love it when it seems,
- 4:42even as an adult it makes a difference.
- 4:44So beyond flavor.
- 4:46I know that there are other things that affect why a child might like.
- 4:51So what are some other things that we should be looking for or ask?
- 4:56Let's move on to texture because that's another biggie foods can come in a variety of textures liquid or smooth or creamy,
- 5:04slimy,
- 5:05that doesn't sound very appealing.
- 5:07But there can be slimy foods or lumpy or bumpy or crunchy or crispy and so just like anything else.
- 5:14Children need to get familiar and used to how those different textures feel,
- 5:19not only in their hands,
- 5:20but also in their mouth.
- 5:22And so letting kids play with those foods or even non foods that have the same texture can help them get more comfortable.
- 5:32And I know that I say that I don't like beans,
- 5:35but it's the texture of beans that I don't like.
- 5:37So if I try to prepare beans in a different way for talking about green beans,
- 5:42not cooked to death,
- 5:43but still kind of crunchy,
- 5:45then I really do like them.
- 5:46Or black beans.
- 5:48I like them raw.
- 5:49Not raw but almost raw in a in a salsa as opposed to refried in something else.
- 5:56Yes,
- 5:57that's so important.
- 5:58Mindy.
- 5:58I'm glad you said that because just like the different flavors,
- 6:02we can prepare the same food in different ways and get different textures and so part of it might just be exploring,
- 6:09you know,
- 6:09a micro microwave can get you very mushy or not so much.
- 6:14Same with like a stovetop where grilling will taste different than an oven for example and then plating food differently so making sure okay unless it's needed,
- 6:24let's not have all smooth consistency.
- 6:27Foods on a plate,
- 6:28having a variety of textures is also helpful.
- 6:31Well and then we also need to think about temperature,
- 6:33don't we?
- 6:34Because that can really affect how not only how things taste,
- 6:38but whether or not we we can taste them at all if we go to hot.
- 6:41Exactly,
- 6:42exactly.
- 6:43And Children typically don't like very cold or very hot foods so we want to try to find the Goldilocks sweet spot for them,
- 6:52you know,
- 6:53ask them.
- 6:53Is the food too hot?
- 6:55We can easily set it aside or in our house we call it the rapid chill where we might put it in the freezer really quick to help rapidly cool it down.
- 7:04Probably not great for food safety over the long term,
- 7:07but a quick a quick chill isn't harmful if it's too cold.
- 7:11We can warm it up.
- 7:12So these are all the small things I was talking about where we don't necessarily have to toss the food out.
- 7:16We just need to kind of find what we can do to make it more appealing and enjoyable to eat well.
- 7:22And it might be that we'll find that we like something's prepared a different way or served a different way sometimes that's just how it looks.
- 7:31Might affect how we all enjoy the food.
- 7:34So this might be a learning curve for the whole family,
- 7:37right?
- 7:37Yes,
- 7:38kind of those unintended benefits.
- 7:40That's right.
- 7:41Well I,
- 7:42I do love to try new things and sometimes I like them and sometimes I don't and so we need to remember that kids are the same way.
- 7:49They're not always going to like everything new that that we offer them,
- 7:53don't let your feelings get hurt.
- 7:54Right?
- 7:56And I think if we can not about us,
- 7:59it's about that cauliflower,
- 8:01but no,
- 8:01I think in one other way is just to reframe,
- 8:04like you said,
- 8:05it's not personal and that we're truly just exploring that,
- 8:09you know,
- 8:09learning to eat,
- 8:10learning to like new things is,
- 8:12it's a process.
- 8:13It's a skill and so if we can act like detectives,
- 8:18We can certainly help Children navigate that process and it can be a little less stressful when we hear that word.
- 8:25No,
- 8:26I agree.
- 8:28100%.
- 8:29And the older you get,
- 8:30the easier it is to hear.
- 8:31Yes,
- 8:32it's all good to know Courtney,
- 8:34thanks for sharing all of this in information that will hopefully benefit kids as well as their parents as they learn to navigate new foods and trying different things to our listeners.
- 8:46If you are just tuning in.
- 8:48I hope that you will join us again on talking facts,
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- 8:55Thank you for listening to talking facts.
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