Latest / The Diva Details / Rebuild, Rise, Repeat: Guide to Self-Love and Power
Transcript
- 0:01Welcome to the Diva Detail. Welcome to the Diva Detail,
- 0:05where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
- 0:10From love and sex to wellness and reinvention,
- 0:14we keep it raw, real, and powerful.
- 0:17No filters, no limits, just fearless conversations
- 0:22to help you thrive. Let's dive in with Diva Mia.
- 0:30Well, hello. This is Diva Mia. And today
- 0:33we're going to talk about taking care of yourself and your comeback after
- 0:38you go through a breakup or divorce. But really, you should be
- 0:42taking care of yourself all along. There's something that happens to women
- 0:46after you start taking care of yourself again. Maybe you had children. And I'm
- 0:50not just talking about losing weight. I'm not just talking about Botox, a new hairstyle,
- 0:53buying a better wardrobe, or suddenly becoming obsessed with the gym. I'm talking
- 0:57about the moment when you look at your life and realize, I've neglected
- 1:01myself long enough. I have been taking care of other people for so long.
- 1:05Maybe you spent years raising children. Maybe you built a business. Maybe you took
- 1:09care of a husband, which was also a child or a partner, aging parents,
- 1:13employees, clients, or everyone else who needed something from you. Maybe you
- 1:17went through menopause or had an illness. Maybe you're coming out of
- 1:20divorce or someone just broke your heart. But life just beats
- 1:24the hell out of us sometimes. And sometimes you have to struggle through and come
- 1:28out the other side. One of the things you can do is have positive self-talk.
- 1:32I think that's the most important thing. When you're going through hell, turn to your
- 1:35self-talk to make things better. Sometimes somewhere along the way,
- 1:38you've disappeared from your own priority list. One day something changes.
- 1:42Maybe a switch got flipped and you start walking again. You start lifting again.
- 1:45You start fixing your sleep and your eating habits improve.
- 1:49And you finally start doing your hair the way you like it. Maybe you just
- 1:53start working out more and taking better care of yourself. It seems to happen to
- 1:57ladies in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. We kind of go over the top.
- 2:00We're starting to pay attention now to our skin more. We're starting to drink
- 2:04more water. You make that doctor's appointment you've been putting off and
- 2:07your house starts to get cleaner. Your finances get cleaned up. You just start saying
- 2:11no to everyone else and yes to you.
- 2:14It's all about self-love now, ladies. There's a reason why so many
- 2:18women are deciding to stay single because the alternative seems
- 2:22to be chaos. Or maybe you were in a relationship and married,
- 2:25and then you come out and you date someone who's just as bad as raising
- 2:28another child. You stop answering texts immediately
- 2:32from other people. Maybe you stop accepting crumbs from people.
- 2:36Sometimes something very interesting happens. Your confidence comes back.
- 2:40Your self-esteem, your self-worth skyrockets.
- 2:43Here's what people misunderstand about confidence. Confidence isn't simply believing
- 2:47that you look good. Real confidence is realizing how truly amazing
- 2:50you are, how fantastic you are. You may have a really big heart,
- 2:55a really good spirit. You're a loyal, trustworthy, honorable person
- 2:59who's smart, intelligent, sexy, and fun. Then you realize
- 3:03I can trust myself again. Maybe you've been putting yourself within arm's
- 3:08length of the wrong people, but you need to learn to trust you again.
- 3:11That's what today's episode is about. The confidence to come back to
- 3:15the best version of yourself, to make you the priority, to give
- 3:19yourself the self-love that you need. I know a lot of times we
- 3:23give so much of ourselves to relationships and marriages.
- 3:27And sometimes we forget to give back to ourselves. You're not going to become
- 3:31somebody different. You're just coming back to who you truly are.
- 3:34And you need to build your self-confidence. It's not vanity to have self-confidence.
- 3:39Let's get something out of the way. Wanting to look good does not automatically make
- 3:43you shallow. Wanting to feel attractive does not make you insecure.
- 3:47A strong body does not make you vain. It makes it so you don't break
- 3:50a hip later, ladies. A strong body keeps your metabolism up, makes you feel better.
- 3:54Losing weight doesn't mean you hate yourself. It just means you want to improve.
- 3:58All about constant improvement. Can you love yourself right now and
- 4:02still want to improve? Absolutely. Improvement just means you're trying to grow
- 4:07and life is all about growth. These ideas are not mutually exclusive.
- 4:10You don't have to say, I don't want to improve myself because then I'll have
- 4:13too big of an ego. No, your ego is not involved
- 4:17if you're trying to improve yourself for the right reasons. There has
- 4:20been this bizarre cultural argument that if you want to change your body,
- 4:24you must somehow be rejecting your old self. And I don't follow that.
- 4:28I think you should be growing in all areas of your life at all times.
- 4:32Some you may take bigger leaps in it in a given moment, but you
- 4:36should not be decreasing your education, decreasing your workflow,
- 4:40especially if you're still working. Don't cut back. There's no reason
- 4:44for you not to achieve anything you want. You have good morals,
- 4:48values, and ethics, which means you don't need external validation.
- 4:51You're not doing this for external validation. You're doing this
- 4:55for you. Sometimes changing your body is one of the greatest demonstrations
- 4:58of self-respect, because what are you actually saying? You're saying,
- 5:02I deserve strength, I deserve energy, mobility, good health. I want
- 5:06to feel fantastic again. You want to be the best looking person you can
- 5:09when you walk into a room. Yes, you deserve to look in the mirror and
- 5:13like what you see, but there's nothing wrong with that, because body confidence
- 5:17shouldn't be built around when strangers think you're attractive. You should
- 5:22think yourself's attractive, because if all you're doing is wanting other people's validation
- 5:26and attention, it's a fragile self-confidence. It means you're insecure.
- 5:31But real body confidence comes from knowing that you're taking care of
- 5:35it. There's a huge difference. Confidence is built through evidence,
- 5:38and you don't think your way into confidence. You behave your
- 5:42way into it. So think about it. If you're a very disciplined person, you might
- 5:46be motivated, but discipline is where it matters. Every time you tell yourself you're going
- 5:49to do something, you do it. If, on the other hand, every time you
- 5:53tell yourself you don't do it, you weaken your own trust. You've got to be
- 5:57able to look yourself in the at the end of the day. Are you doing
- 6:00what you say you're going to do? When you make a commitment, are you following
- 6:03through? Don't say I'm going to start Monday and then Monday comes and
- 6:07you'll say I'll start tomorrow. Don't go out saying I'm going to stop drinking every
- 6:11night and then every night you still drink. Then there's also the old relationship.
- 6:14If you're in a nasty relationship, stop giving excuses for
- 6:18the man. If it's time to leave, just exit. If you're having financial
- 6:22issues, you need to start working on your finances, maybe with your partner or your
- 6:25husband. But get it done. And if you're solo, work on it yourself,
- 6:29because the reality is nobody's coming to save us ladies. We got to do it
- 6:32ourselves. I think everyone should be lifting weights personally. If you want to live a
- 6:36long life, weightlifting is going to be a requirement. It's not optional anymore. Getting adequate
- 6:40sleep is so important. So if you're with a snoring guy or a snoring husband,
- 6:45or if you're, you know, you've got situations,
- 6:48craziness going on, you need to make sure you're getting enough sleep because as we
- 6:51get older, we need even more. Then Monday becomes next Monday. Don't push things out.
- 6:55When you say you're going to do something, do it. Stop making excuses
- 6:59because the excuses, the old saying goes, you can either have your excuses or
- 7:02success, but you can't have both. Eventually your brain has heard so many promises
- 7:06that it basically says, oh yeah, right. You're actually never going to do it.
- 7:10That's not a confidence problem. That's a credibility problem with yourself. Can you trust yourself?
- 7:14If you have problems trusting others, are you not trusting yourself? Credibility can
- 7:18be rebuilt, but you have to rebuild it by rebuilding trust.
- 7:21Like you do it with another person. You have to take baby steps. You have
- 7:25to do what you say you're going to do. You have to commit to doing
- 7:28what you say you're going to do. And you keep your promises, but start
- 7:32small. Tell yourself you're going to walk for 20 minutes and walk for 20 minutes
- 7:35every day. Tell yourself you're going to drink adequate water and make sure you drink
- 7:388 to 10 glasses a day, depending on what you need. Make sure you get
- 7:41in bed by 8, 9, 10, whatever your bedtime is. Go to bed.
- 7:45Don't stay up scrolling through social media. Because you tell
- 7:48yourself you're going to stop checking social media and then you keep checking it.
- 7:52Stop doom scrolling. Social media is no more than a brain
- 7:55rot for most people. A lot of it's not good stuff, not information
- 7:59that you need. If you need something, you can go look it up. You don't
- 8:02need to doom scroll mindlessly through social media.
- 8:05Evidence becomes self-trust. So as you achieve and as you do,
- 8:08and as you create more discipline, you're going to start self-trusting yourself.
- 8:12Self-trust will turn into self-confidence. That's what we're really
- 8:15talking about. Your self-confidence and how to build it.
- 8:19So take care of your body changes as soon as you can,
- 8:22because your body is changing all the time. Because when your body's taken
- 8:26care of, your mind changes. There is something incredibly powerful about becoming physically stronger,
- 8:30especially for women. It makes you feel a little safer,
- 8:33especially in midlife. You start lifting weights and suddenly you're watching yourself accomplish
- 8:36things you couldn't do 6 months ago. Then you add another thing
- 8:40and you add another plate on, or you walk another mile, or you get to
- 8:44swim faster and your clothes fit differently. You can stand more erect, your posture,
- 8:48you get more confidence just with your posture changes. And your shoulders,
- 8:51they move, they pull back and your head comes up. And that's
- 8:55just a confidence statement in and of itself. You stop trying to make yourself
- 8:59physically smaller in every room and become proud of who you are. You are
- 9:02an amazing person. This can happen for men or women because you
- 9:06can start to begin to think, what else can I change? Work on yourself
- 9:10instead of looking for external validation instead
- 9:14of looking for kudos from people that don't matter. I know with social
- 9:18media these days, a lot of people are constantly posting videos of themselves
- 9:21for the likes so they can constantly get self-validation
- 9:25and attention. The problem is, is the people that do that, they need to spend
- 9:28more time working on themselves. Now I get it.
- 9:32You can make a business out of it and it, maybe you're doing
- 9:35it to teach people to lift a certain way or do something. But if you're
- 9:39nonstop posting information about yourself, is there a hole that
- 9:42you're trying to fill? Just to get more thumbs up. Physical transformation often becomes proof
- 9:47that transformation is possible everywhere else. Once you transform your body,
- 9:51you might be able to change other parts of your life, your business, your relationships,
- 9:55maybe your environment. Write that book you want to write
- 9:59or leave something that isn't working for you. You can start something
- 10:02you've been afraid to start. And I highly recommend this because that's all about growth.
- 10:06Growth is what life is about. You should be improving, not staying the same.
- 10:10Don't stay sedentary in any areas of your life.
- 10:14Improve, become better, become the person you want to be.
- 10:17And stop looking at your life as a fixed condition because you get to choose
- 10:21it. Everything you have is a choice. Start looking
- 10:24as if it's something you can build into something amazing, something in 20 or
- 10:2930 years you look back and you're like proud of and you're like,
- 10:32wow, I did that. Confidence isn't something you turn on
- 10:36Saturday night and that build it till Monday morning, then when nobody's watching.
- 10:40It's a lifestyle. It's a, it's something you're going to do for the rest of
- 10:44your life. If you're trying to rebuild yours, there are several areas of your life
- 10:47that deserve your attention. Your body's being number one. Your body and
- 10:50your mind go together, but your body is number one. So you got to move
- 10:54it. Go walk, go lift weights, stretch, swim, get that muscle
- 10:57going and protect your mobility. Your food. Stop treating
- 11:01food nutrition like punishment. Enjoy the food you're
- 11:05eating and make them healthy. Eat foods that make your body function better.
- 11:08Proteins, vegetables, fruits, water. Figure out what foods make you feel
- 11:11fantastic and which foods make you feel like you swallowed a sofa
- 11:15and you swell up. Pay attention. And there's also a lot of different
- 11:18allergy tests and food sensitivity tests you can take. And a lot of
- 11:22times when you cut out the foods that you're sensitive to, you decrease your inflammation
- 11:25and you lose weight. And then don't forget about your sleep because sleep affects almost
- 11:29everything that you experience in life. If you don't sleep, you're not going to have
- 11:32energy the next day. You might be hungrier. You might even skip a
- 11:36workout because you didn't sleep enough. It will definitely affect your mood, your patience,
- 11:39and your appearance. And any decisions you make are affected by sleep.
- 11:43You cannot continuously run your body into the ground and expect confidence
- 11:47to flourish because exhaustion makes everything feel harder.
- 11:50It makes you more snippy. It makes you more argumentative and it
- 11:54may make you snap when you haven't had enough sleep. Then let's talk about your
- 11:58overall appearance. Yes, appearance matters, not because other people get
- 12:02to determine your value, but you should be proud of your appearance.
- 12:05Presentation changes how many people experience themselves. It just does.
- 12:09So if you walk out in a suit or like a nice dress,
- 12:13you feel better than if you're walking outside in a pair of sweatshirts with your
- 12:16hair not done. Take care of your hair, your teeth, your skin, the basics,
- 12:20but make sure you feel good in your clothes too. Wear clothes that fit your
- 12:23body. You may need to lose 20 pounds, but don't wait till you lose 20
- 12:27pounds to find clothes that make you feel good about yourself because that will
- 12:31help you get the 20 pounds off. Get dressed when you leave the house,
- 12:34do your hair, put on earrings. Now I'm not big on doing makeup all
- 12:38the time, although a lot of people like don't leave the house without makeup.
- 12:40I have a kind of a natural skin tone that I don't like to
- 12:44put a lot of makeup on because it just, it's just not my thing.
- 12:47And if you need makeup, by all means, but do what makes you
- 12:51feel comfortable and makes you confident every time you leave the house.
- 12:54Maybe you need earrings, wear that perfume that you've been putting off
- 12:57that maybe, maybe the time is now just to start using up some of the
- 13:01stuff you got. Your good life does not begin 10 pounds from now. It begins
- 13:04right now because life is short. You might be gone tomorrow.
- 13:08And if you were, would you look back and be proud of what you built?
- 13:11Would you be proud of who you are? That's the question.
- 13:14Did you live the life to your fullest? Because we only get one life.
- 13:17Stop scrolling through it on social, on your phone and
- 13:21start running after it because you have one life. Take it
- 13:25by the horns and own it. Your environment, look around your house. Does your environment
- 13:29support the person you're becoming or is it complete chaos? Clean your bathroom, organize your
- 13:32closets. Those types of things help. I just reorganized my closet. It was amazing.
- 13:35I have so much more room now. And get rid of the things that no
- 13:38longer belong in your life. Your physical environment
- 13:41constantly communicates with your brain. So if it's overcrowded, your brain's
- 13:46not going to be happy. Sometimes confidence begins with throwing out 14 years of mystery
- 13:49chargers in the junk drawer. I have that problem, I must say, but you got
- 13:54to start somewhere. The connection between confidence and self-respect
- 13:58is it gets deeper as you get older. I think that's why so many women
- 14:02our age are so proud and loud and confident because we
- 14:05just don't give a damn, especially us Gen Xers. We just don't give a damn.
- 14:09When you start taking care of yourself, your tolerance for mistreatment by
- 14:13others often goes down. It's because self-respect
- 14:17changes your standards. So when you get mistreated, you just cut people off. It's a
- 14:21definitive thing. When you don't feel good about yourself though, it becomes easier
- 14:25to tolerate people who don't treat you particularly well. So if you haven't slept,
- 14:30if you're not feeling so good, if you're getting gaslit
- 14:34or breadcrumbs or hot and cold, you may allow more things
- 14:37than you would if you were more confident. So don't
- 14:41chase validation and don't overexplain. If something is
- 14:44bothering you, get it out of your life. You may accept inconsistent behavior,
- 14:48but do you really want to? You may make excuses for somebody,
- 14:52but do you really want to? And how many times do they have to disappoint
- 14:55you before you let them go? Whether it's a friend, a family
- 14:59member, or a partner or a spouse, you may tolerate disrespect because losing
- 15:03them feels scarier than losing yourself. But the question is, have you already lost yourself?
- 15:07Do you need, you need to find your way back? Because a lot of times
- 15:11people in marriages, they lose themselves in a marriage or
- 15:14in a long-term relationship, and they have to find their way
- 15:18back. And sometimes they need to end the relationship in order to do so.
- 15:21But when you start rebuilding your own life, something shifts. You start thinking,
- 15:25wait a second. I get up every morning and take care of myself.
- 15:28I got this. I work hard. I'm building my future, protecting my health,
- 15:32becoming strong. You're lifting weights.
- 15:35You've got peace in your life again. Do you want to bring chaos into it
- 15:39again? I think this is why so many women aren't dating because of the quality
- 15:42of men out there. I don't think you do. Absolutely not. Don't bring chaos into
- 15:46your life. That's when standards start changing. Confidence makes
- 15:50rejection less fragile because your entire identity isn't dependent upon
- 15:55another person's approval. And that's a beautiful thing. You don't need
- 15:59constant validation from other people. You got this,
- 16:02girl. You're in control of your destiny. It's so great to feel this way,
- 16:05ladies. It just really is. You can walk into any room and you can see
- 16:09people who are confident, people who aren't, just from their body language. It's especially important
- 16:14in relationships. One of the greatest mistakes people make after a breakup is immediately searching
- 16:17for somebody else to make them feel desirable again. They rush
- 16:21into another relationship trying to Keep that dopamine fix
- 16:25going. I think there's a better approach. Before becoming desirable yourself again,
- 16:29build a life you genuinely enjoy, and then you
- 16:33can look outside. But make sure you're happy and you love yourself first,
- 16:37because otherwise you're going to repeat the same mistakes in the next relationship.
- 16:40Exercise, travel, see friends, go out partying, girls, go dancing.
- 16:45You can build your career, create hobbies, learn something, get strong and healthy.
- 16:49And then deal with a partner or bring in somebody
- 16:52new into your life. I'm really one for, you know, hibernating after a relationship.
- 16:56I really like just building on myself. Make your home beautiful and
- 17:00take yourself somewhere. Maybe go on a retreat, go on a vacation just for
- 17:04you. You got to be interesting to yourself to be interesting to others,
- 17:08ladies, because when your life is full, dating becomes very
- 17:11different. You're no longer interviewing someone for the position of please
- 17:15rescue me from my loneliness. You're evaluating whether this person actually improves
- 17:20an already great life. If they don't improve it, why are you letting
- 17:23them come into it? This is an entirely different negotiation
- 17:27position. I'm not trying to make light of relationships, but it is kind
- 17:31of a negotiation and an interview position. Why are you asking people
- 17:34to come into your life if they're going to make it more chaotic
- 17:38or worse? It used to be that you wanted a relationship. Oh, do they
- 17:42like me? And you say, do I like who I am when I'm with this
- 17:45person is around? Are they honest? There's a lot of dishonest people out
- 17:49there. So you got to really cycle through. And if they give you any icky
- 17:52feelings, just don't bring them in. Are they consistent? Do they
- 17:56make my life calmer or more chaotic? Do they make, give you peace when
- 18:00you're with them or is life more chaotic? Do they match
- 18:04their words with their actions? And do they respect your
- 18:08boundaries? That's a big one for me. Because I have let
- 18:11my boundaries down in the past to, I guess it was to allow someone
- 18:15to stay in my life that I really enjoyed,
- 18:18but then I wish I hadn't later on. That was a regret I had to
- 18:22take in and say, you know what, next time I'm not going to do that.
- 18:24I've learned that lesson. Do they have integrity? Does their word actually
- 18:28mean what they say? Because there's a lot of cheaters out there, ladies, be careful
- 18:32with that. Confidence changes the question. The new questions,
- 18:35it's more of, will I allow them in my life? Or does he take away?
- 18:39And you'll learn over and over as you get more confident, the questions
- 18:43that you want to feel, and you're not going to bend your boundaries next time.
- 18:47But stop waiting for motivation. Here's another important thing. You will not
- 18:50always feel motivated. You won't. Nobody does. If your entire
- 18:54self-care program requires you to wake up every morning at 4 o'clock screaming, let's go,
- 18:58you're eventually going to be disappointed. Some mornings you're going to wake up thinking,
- 19:01absolutely not. Then discipline comes in. You do the walk anyway.
- 19:06You get up, you get out of bed. You got to make it for yourselves,
- 19:09ladies, to get out of bed. So like put your alarm clock
- 19:13on the other side of the room or your phone or whatever you use for
- 19:15an alarm clock. So you have to get out of bed to turn it off.
- 19:17Make a healthy breakfast every day. Just have only healthy
- 19:21ingredients in your house and it's much easier to eat healthy. When you go to
- 19:24bed, make sure you're going to bed consistently at the same time.
- 19:28Once you start keeping promises to yourself, motivation gets you more excited
- 19:31and routine will get you the results you need because it's all about discipline
- 19:35and consistency. Here's the 30-day confidence comeback I want to go over with you.
- 19:39If you're listening and thinking, okay, Mia, where do I start? Let's start
- 19:43with 30 days. It's not a complete reinvention, not a 47-item
- 19:47morning routine involving Himalayan sea salt and chanting under
- 19:51a full moon. It's 30 days of basic consistency.
- 19:54Pick a few commitments that you want. I think it's a good thing to
- 19:58start with anywhere from 3 to 6, depends on how motivated
- 20:02you are. Let's say you want to walk every day for 30 minutes, or if
- 20:06you are capable of doing more progressively, do more. So maybe start at 20 minutes
- 20:10and add 5 minutes a day or 5 minutes every few days and add resistance
- 20:13training several times per week. That's a basic. And then clean up your
- 20:17nutrition. You don't need perfection. Focus on nutrition foods most of the
- 20:21time and make sure you don't buy any processed foods when you go to the
- 20:23store. Prioritize protein, vegetables, hydration, and those types of
- 20:27foods. They're going to make you feel better. If it's real food, we all know
- 20:30it's better to eat than the bag of Doritos. And you don't need that can
- 20:33of soda. You just need a glass of water. You can do, and you know
- 20:37that you need to do those. Prioritize your food and then fix your sleep.
- 20:40Fixing your sleep is huge because you've got to create a bedtime that works for
- 20:44you. Put down the phone, put it in another room if you keep going to
- 20:47your phone. Make your bedroom somewhere you actually want to sleep. Make it peaceful.
- 20:52Get all the junk out of there that you don't want and make it beautiful
- 20:55for you. Then get ready every day. Make sure you shower
- 20:58every day. And if you're working from home or you're retired, make sure you
- 21:02still go through your skincare and your hair and your clothes. And I recommend trying
- 21:06to get rid of as much stuff as you can in your house every day.
- 21:09Maybe you set a rule that you have to get rid of 30 things a
- 21:12week or something like that, but Get rid of stuff in your house and clean
- 21:15something every day. Maybe it's a drawer or your car or your bathroom
- 21:19or your kitchen, even a closet. Just physically clean something to
- 21:23create breathing air and breathing room. Make sure you keep your promises.
- 21:27If you're making a list of your 3 things that you have to do tomorrow,
- 21:29your 6 things, the most, the 6 most important things that you have to do
- 21:32tomorrow, make sure you're getting, these are the bare minimums you have to do.
- 21:35Anything else comes after. This is a big one. Write it down
- 21:39on a piece of paper every night before you go to bed and then just
- 21:42get it done. And ask yourself, what do I need to keep my word on
- 21:45to myself tomorrow? That if I, as soon as I get through it,
- 21:48I will feel successful. And then you win the day. That question's gonna
- 21:52change you. It's gonna give you more self-confidence and you're gonna be more committed to
- 21:56yourself. But stop making yourself smaller for other people.
- 21:58Confidence is also deciding you're finished shrinking for other people. Women do
- 22:03this all the time. We shrink our opinions, our ambitions, our bodies,
- 22:05expectations, even our achievements to make other people feel big.
- 22:09Someone compliments us and we immediately explain why they're wrong. Oh, you look amazing.
- 22:13Oh God, no, I still have 30 pounds to lose. Oh, I love your house.
- 22:16You should see the mess upstairs. Oh, your business is doing incredibly
- 22:20well. Oh, I just got lucky. Why do we do that? If somebody says you
- 22:23look gorgeous today, say thank you. If somebody says your business is doing great,
- 22:27say I work really hard at it. Thank you so much. Or if somebody says
- 22:31that, you know, you are an amazing
- 22:34person, you say, you know what? Thank you so much. I do try to
- 22:38be better every day. Stop diminishing yourself and just use the
- 22:42word thank you. You'll survive by saying thank you. You don't have to diminish yourself
- 22:46to make other people comfortable. Your age is not the problem. I especially want women
- 22:49over 40 and 50 to hear this. Your life is not over. You're just getting
- 22:52started. Our 40s and 50s, ladies, are some of the best years of our lives.
- 22:56Your attractiveness is just getting hotter. You really are. Your sexuality,
- 23:00let me tell you, sexuality can increase tremendously in your 40s and 50s.
- 23:04And your ambition is not over. It's, it's just getting started.
- 23:07Your ability to change your body is not over. You can make yourself look better
- 23:12now than you ever have in your entire life. And you'll fall in love again.
- 23:15There's good men out there. Just try to avoid the bad ones
- 23:18because they, if you spend too much time with the bad ones, you miss out
- 23:21on the good ones. Be more selective. And that way you get a good one
- 23:24instead of staying with the bad one for too long. Your ability
- 23:28to create wealth is not over either. A lot of women start businesses in their
- 23:3050s and their 60s. We can reinvent ourselves. It's definitely not over.
- 23:34You may have approached your body differently than you did at 25. Maybe you're
- 23:38not running a, you know, 5K every day. That's okay. Learn your body
- 23:42now, but don't confuse age with surrender. There are,
- 23:45those are completely different things. You can decide at 50 that your
- 23:49strongest years haven't even happened yet. You can decide at 55 that
- 23:53your best relationship hasn't happened, that you're gonna start again. You can decide at 60
- 23:57that you're starting a brand new business. This isn't some imaginary expiration date.
- 24:00Where the universe comes down and takes your dreams away. You do what you want.
- 24:04It's an amazing time to be alive, and there's so much we can do.
- 24:08I want you to remember this cycle. You take care of yourself, you feel better.
- 24:11Because you feel better, you make better decisions, and those decisions create
- 24:16better results. Those results will help you build your confidence, and that confidence
- 24:20causes you to take even better care of yourself. The cycle will repeat over and
- 24:23over again. That's the confidence loop. But there's an opposite loop too.
- 24:27If you neglect yourself, you feel worse. You make poor decisions.
- 24:30You lose confidence. You withdraw. You allow people to treat you worse.
- 24:34You neglect yourself even more. The interesting part is that both cycles are created through
- 24:38small daily decisions. And those daily decisions will determine your life and
- 24:42how successful you are, which means you can interrupt the wrong cycle whenever
- 24:46you decide to, because it's those small daily decisions, those small little tiny habits that
- 24:51you have to change. One final thing. You don't need a revenge body. You don't
- 24:55need a revenge body because some little boy broke your heart. You don't
- 24:58need to get healthy because somebody cheated on you. You don't need to get fit
- 25:01because somebody rejected you. Don't rebuild yourself hoping
- 25:05your ex will see you in 6 months from now and has an existential crisis
- 25:08in the Whole Foods parking lot. No, what you need is to
- 25:12do it for you. Absolutely. But that's not the goal. Building your body,
- 25:16you're going to be living in it forever. So build the strength that you need,
- 25:20build your health the way you want it. If you want to compete in a
- 25:22bodybuilding competition, go for it. Build your confidence because you want
- 25:26to walk into every room knowing that you respect the woman. Walking through the
- 25:30door and you're doing the best you possibly can. The greatest transformation
- 25:33isn't when somebody who hurt you regrets losing you, because who the hell cares?
- 25:37Let them go. It's when you become so fulfilled with your own
- 25:40life that you stop caring about that person completely.
- 25:45That's a good place to be. I hope that for everyone. It could
- 25:49be that your parents hurt you or a friend hurt you, but you should be
- 25:52doing things to improve you for you. So your confidence starts now. You don't
- 25:56need next Monday. You don't need January 1st. You don't need to wait until
- 26:00your divorce is final or your kids are older or work slows down. You got
- 26:04to do it daily and you definitely don't need somebody else's permission. So start today,
- 26:07drink the water, take the walk, clean your room, make your appointments, lift those weights,
- 26:10go to sleep, put on your outfit and take those pictures.
- 26:13Apply for that job you've been holding out on. Start that company, write that book,
- 26:17leave the situation that keeps destroying your peace. Get away from the people
- 26:21that don't give you the love that you need. Keep one promise to yourself today.
- 26:25Then do it again tomorrow and the next day. Because confidence isn't
- 26:29something you find. Confidence is something you build. And sometimes the
- 26:33most powerful comeback of your life begins with something incredibly simple.
- 26:37You decide to start taking care of yourself again.
- 26:41I hope this helped. This is Diva Mia. Take care of your body,
- 26:44protect your peace, raise your standards, and never forget that becoming your
- 26:48best self is something you get to choose every day. Until next
- 26:52time, make it a wonderful week.
- 26:55Thanks for tuning in. Like, subscribe, and drop a comment.
- 26:59We love hearing from you. Visit thedivadetails.com
- 27:03to connect. See you next week for more.
- 27:11Diva Details podcast and website are intended solely for informational and entertainment purposes. The content
- 27:14provided does not constitute professional, medical, financial, or legal advice. We are not licensed medical
- 27:18practitioners, financial advisors, or legal professionals. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider for medical
- 27:21advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any financial topics discussed are based on personal opinions and experience
- 27:25and should not be considered professional advice. The content provided does not constitute legal advice.
- 27:28The Diva Details and its affiliate contributors and guests are not liable for any losses
- 27:30or damages arising from use of our content. The opinions expressed in the podcast are
- 27:33solely those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views of any affiliated
- 27:35organizations, sponsors, or partners. All facts discussed in the podcast are researched and accurate to
- 27:38the best of our knowledge at the time of recording. Information may change over time.
- 27:40No guarantees are made regarding the accuracy, completeness, or reliability of any statements or opinions
- 27:42presented. It is the responsibility of the listener to verify any and all facts that
- 27:45may influence their decision. This podcast is for information and entertainment purposes only and should