Latest / The Nonprofit Podcast / Ep 221| How to Turn Your Ask Into a Connection

Transcript

Ep 221| How to Turn Your Ask Into a Connection · The Nonprofit Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: If I told you right now that you had to pick up your phone, call a major supporter, and ask them for money, what happens in your body?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Does your stomach drop a little bit?
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: Does your heart do this weird little double thump?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because most people think that friction means they're doing something wrong.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: But what if that exact feeling is actually key to better connecting and building donor trust?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: The Nonprofit Podcast powered by DonorBox.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone, welcome back.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Britt Stalker, fundraiser coach over at DonorBox.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: So today we're gonna keep the episode short and punchy.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: I want to give you a quick hit for it, might be your coffee run or a walk this morning, because what I really want to do is dismantle why asking for money makes us a little bit uneasy.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think we need to call out the elephant in the room.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Most fundraisers, we get caught up in this.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I see one or two traps, right?
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: Either we're acting like this is all just a piece of cake and we totally have it in the bag, or we're secretly terrified to admit that fundraising, the art of relationship building, the art of connection, is an ongoing practice, right?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: We buy into this lie that we are supposed to have it 100% mastered before we even step into our role.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we're gonna break that mindset right now because before we even touch those year-end fundraising tactics, we need to surface some mindsets because the art of connection, it's a human behavior, right?
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's muscle, it takes practice.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: And today we're gonna build that together.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I was scrolling LinkedIn earlier.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: I will, I have to admit, it is total hazardous for my sanity.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I'm starting to see that everyone in our sector, the nonprofit sector, we like to throw around buzzwords, lifetime value, retention, automated donor journeys, right?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: I geek out on the data as much as anyone.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: But fundraising, it's a human behavior across a coffee table or connecting on a phone line.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's that invisible work.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: And we're not talking about it.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: We like to throw out the data, we like to throw out the giving insights, but what about this very innate human behavior?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Independent sector drops a study with, I think, Elderman every year, showing that public trust and nonprofits sits right about 56%.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: Nearly half the people you reach out to are walking around with a built-in shield of skepticism.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so we need to talk about the fact that asking feels like it's it's going uphill.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a very real human feeling that we have.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think the wild thing about all of this, and it gets buried in that exact same study, is we also know that 60% of people say that their trust goes up the second that they have a direct relational interaction with someone.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: Let that sink in.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you're connecting with someone through phone or when you're sitting across the coffee table, it shouldn't be treated as some sort of annoying interruption in your day.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this is actually the bridge that really is going to build donor trust and bring in the revenue to help your organizations.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: So again, we can't build trust with a slide deck.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: The conversation work really needs to happen and it's about connecting like two real human beings.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I wanted to share a story.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I was on Zoom last week with a coaching client.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Her name is Jen.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: She runs fundraising part-time for an organization.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they're they're based in Texas and they're all about preserving immigrant stories.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: And Jen is a natural, she has a way of connecting with people, but she looks right at me and she's like, Britt, I can't do these, you know, multiple page scripts and try to remember them when I'm connecting with donors over coffee or even over the phone.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: I need something simple enough that I can hand to my board without them getting paralyzed and freaking out.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so we threw away the scripts.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: And what we did together was we came up with four prompt words or even just affirmations that she could slap on her laptop or even, you know, on the interior of her car when she's on her way to a coffee date that really help her in the art of connection.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so here's how it kind of sounds out loud.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Beat one, gratitude.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Hey Sarah, I'm literally just calling to say thank you for standing with us this year.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's been a hard year and just checking in to see how you're doing.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Gratitude.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Beat two, curiosity, anchor that with a question.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I was thinking about my own Swedish family story this morning, and it made me wonder.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: I noticed that your family also immigrated to Illinois as well.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: What first drew you to this cause?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then you gotta be quiet.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: You listen.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: If Sarah tells you that her mom immigrated here with nothing and worked two jobs, please do not say, oh wow, that's great.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, anyway, about her uh program update or a Q4 budget goal, yada yada yada.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, you want to do what most fundraisers don't do, which is mirror what she just said, affirm her, honor what she just gave you.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: Sarah, that legacy runs so deep.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate you sharing that with me.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: Then you go to beat three to the bridge.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so that's honestly why I wanted to reach out because most people who care about that exact kind of dignity that you just shared about your family in Illinois.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: We just launched a mentor program for 10 families.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Now, we talked about skepticism earlier, right?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: If she throws a curveball about politics, about overhead, again, remember that over 70% of donors rank financial transparency as like their top requirement before giving.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: The tough questions that you're probably gonna get when you are connecting with supporters are not an attack on you.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: It is not an attack on the organization.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's really just someone begging for reassurance so that they feel safe investing in you.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: It shows that they are engaged and they're curious and they're already kind of bought in.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: So in that moment, you might say, Sarah, I'm so glad you brought that up.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: We are total open books here.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: Let me grab those exact figures and I'll email them to you tomorrow.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: Does that sound like a plan?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Pressure's dead.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: You handled it like a real human.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: And look, let's normalize something right now.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: You might not even make the ask on that first call.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Most of the time, and I want you to tell your board members this, it takes a couple of touch points, right?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: It might be a follow-up email.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: It might be one or two additional in-person chats over coffee.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: It might be a quick check-in two weeks later.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's how real human relationships work, where the ask doesn't come until much later.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so when the timing is right, whether that's on call one or meeting three, you run beat for, which is the ask.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: Sarah, hearing you talk about your mom, it has been so clear to me why all of this matters to you.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right now, we are expanding to welcome 10 more homes.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: Based on what you shared, would you be open to considering a gift of$500 so that we can resource five additional families?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: You notice that framing?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Would you be open to considering?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: That is called permission-based giving.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: You're giving her an easy way out.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: You aren't backing her into a corner.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: And she's in total control.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: And once you make that ask, silence again.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: Don't speak, right?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: Count in your head a one, a two, a three.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: You got to give her brain room to process what you just put on the table.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: So as we wrap up today, we're talking about the art of connection and making the ask.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: We have got to stop measuring stewardship solely by whether we secured the ask, right?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Or whether that gift actually went through and was processed.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: Simply connecting with that other human being, whether it was on the phone or across the coffee table, is the win.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Did you update a broken email address in your CRM?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: When?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: Did you find out a longtime donor spouse is in the hospital?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: So you can send her a get well card.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: When?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Did you leave a warm voicemail that brightens someone's afternoon because they're having a hard day?
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: Who isn't, right?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: When?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: All of these things are small wins that help you to do the art of connection and relationship building far better.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: And hey, remember if the absolute worst thing that happens on any given day is when someone says, oh, not right now, you know, it's not a rejection of your cause.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's definitely not a rejection of you.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: So again, remember those four things Jen and I mapped out, please.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: Don't forget to sit in the silence.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Go make that connection.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: And hey, if you're listening to this thinking, Britt, I get it.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: My board is terrified.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: We need a plan before year end.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want you to carry that alone.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna drop my scheduling link in the show notes, grab some one-on-one time with me, and let's build out.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Let's actually surface some of those harmful mindsets so that we can start to plan for year-end giving.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks so much for hanging out with me today.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: If this episode gave you a little bit of encouragement, pass it along to a colleague, leave us a quick review, or hit subscribe wherever you get your podcast.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, take that step and stay inspired.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: That warm feeling when you help someone, it's not just happiness, it's fulfillment.
• 10:02
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• 10:05
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• 10:09
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• 10:11
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• 10:13
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