Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #305: When Judgment Becomes a Mirror

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Episode #305: When Judgment Becomes a Mirror · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, Welcome to tea time with Amy and BEV.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Good day, Good day. How are you uh?
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Fabulous? It's an exciting day. By the time this comes out,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: By the time this video is released, it will be
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: a few days past. What's happening today for myself a
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: little light to my life? Go writen myself up AnyWho?
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Today as we were recording this this afternoon, I'm receiving
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: an award and very unexpected. And it was interesting that
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: what came up for me when I was told that
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I would be getting the award. And I have gone
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: through and pop syndrome before as far as stepping into
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: the world of coaching. Who's going to listen to me?
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Why do I think I have enough information or knowledge
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: to be able to do this? Am I going to
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: be good enough? At the like all the things? And
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: it's very common, especially for coaches, it's very common for
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: those things to come up and contemplate imposter syndrome. It
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: could even be just getting a promotion at work. You know,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: you went from maybe the receptionist and now you're stepping
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: into a management role or something like that. And so
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: when I was told that I was receiving this award,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: my head starts spinning. Oh my god, what if people
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: an to saying now let me I'll tell you why.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Because of the topic, the category that I was entered
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: into and I was nominated for this. This was somebody
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: who knows me who nominated me for this award. But
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: the topic is religion and inspiration. And it wasn't the
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: inspiration piece. It was the religion piece, right Because I
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: am in an organization of all women at right about
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: fifty women and probably more than half of them go
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: to church or are devoted to their religious practices whatever,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: and they know I'm not. And when it was announced
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: to them, because this organization is the one that nominated me,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: When it was announced in front of all of them
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: and I'm standing there, I just felt my inside sink.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: It wasn't a joyful moment for me. I just like,
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Oh God, what are they going to think? Like immediately,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: what are they gonna think about me? What? You know,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: what are they gonna be talking about? What are you gonna
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: be saying to each other about? Like just my head
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: went rampant and I couldn't even in that moment when
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: they announced it have the level of excitement that I
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: would have liked to have had. So after it took
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: me a couple of days, I went back because this
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: person who nominated or called me to ask me if
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I would accept the nomination just to apply. I told
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: her sure. I was in the middle of taking care
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: of my mom in another state in the hospital. I
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: had all all these things going on. And she says, well,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I don't know enough about your story. Well, were you
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: write up your submission? I said sure, so my mom's
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: hospital room. I'm putting this, this thing, this nomination content together.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: So after it was announced to the in front of
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: all these women a couple days later, I went back.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I said, you know what, I really need to set
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: aside the religion title and I need to remember the inspiration.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: And I went back and read what I wrote, and
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: my thought, immediate thought was, you know what, I don't
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: give a fuck. They don't know my story. Most of
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: them haven't even taken the time to get to know me.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: They don't know my story. They don't know the things
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I've been through or experience. They don't know the journey
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: it took for me to get where I was to
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: where I am. So like just going back and reading
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: what I had submitted completely shifted my perspective of what
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: other people maybe saying about me, and you know what,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: to be honest, it was probably announced and then they
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: were like great and moved on with their life like
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: the rest of us, because we're so busy and have
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: so many things to do, Like you know, twenty minutes later,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: it wasn't even a thought. So people go through this
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: imposter syndrome. They go through this because of the lack
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: of confidence, self esteem, belief in themselves, too worried about
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: what other people are thinking about them, So judgment, criticism, like,
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: it's a whole package. And first of all, I just
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: want people to know it's common. It's common. None of
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: us want to be jugged, judge. We want to be accepted.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: But the other piece of that was I had to
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: remind myself. I didn't go crying to somebody else, Oh
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: what do you think? You know, what are your thoughts about?
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Like I went and within myself is that I have
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: to shift this. This is my mindset and it's the
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: way I'm perceiving what's going on, and probably not any
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: of it is true. So I had to take the
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: steps necessary for me to pull myself up out of
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: that and by reading that submission just really shifted everything.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: So now I'm super excited. I'm gonna go do this today.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: Nice. And it's like there's so much stuff there to unwrap.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: The triggering is awesome because it still lets you know
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: there's still some stuff in there. And I feel like
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: where you're going, and I feel like this can apply
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: to everybody. Where you're going is so much grander. But
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: it's like working through these little kinks that you might
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: still have with the self and have nothing to.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Do with anybody else.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: And then my mind thinks, holy smoke, Spirit knows what
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Spirit's doing, because to put you into that category is
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: going to get the attention of other people and think, oh, religious,
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: I'd like to see what this is about, and that
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: might be the draw for some other people, for them
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: to actually get the opportunity to listen to the words
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: that you have to say and to give them a
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: different perspective which really is outside of religion in their
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: in that practice. So it's like that it's such a
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: and that gives me goosebumps. There's such a gift in
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: all this. And the thing is, because we think we
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: know what's best, right, we really just do and not
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: having an attachment to that.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: And that's not easy.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: And I don't really even know how to define imposter syndrome.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: I've heard it quite a few times lately, and I
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: know I feel like, yeah, for me, that would apply
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: in a lot of ways, because I feel like well,
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: and it comes down to that self worthiness, that that
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: self confidence, that deserving you know, all the all these things,
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: and all it is is letting you know again what's
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: reflecting inside of yourself. So it's just bringing you back
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: to you. And you walked through it, and then you
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: came through and reread it, reread what you wrote, which
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: was probably written by spirit through you, and it's like,
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: oh no, there is absolutely nothing for me to be
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: fearful in this situation.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: There's it's not for my concern to be worried about.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: And it's like, gosh, even when you receive that information,
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: you were in a space of a bunch of energies
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: that may be in a judging space and so that
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: might have come forward too, So not even realizing, all
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: of a sudden, you dip down right into everybody else's
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: energy and you took it for a little while. I mean,
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: there's so many possibilities, but either no matter how you
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: look at it, there's a growth from all of it,
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: even for myself hearing all of this. You talking about
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: the imposter syndrome, you're talking about the other stuff, the
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: self confidence, not thinking that you're good enough. Because I
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: could step into your shoes for a moment there and recognize.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: It is what do you It's not for me.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: It'd be almost when you were saying, come on, let's
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: go do these videos, let's go have these conversations, and
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: it's like, uh uh, why are you asking me? Like
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: it put me into such a space, but it triggered
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: so much things inside of me and my growth and
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: recognizing there was something so much big, or something so
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: much bigger than myself that.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Was trying to lead the way the whole way.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: But it's like, oh no, I wanted to stay just
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: exactly the way it is.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: But I want things to be better. But I wanted
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: to stay exactly the way it is.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Oh girl, you know how many times I thought that
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: my journey ooh yeah, the journey just to be able
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: to be able to speak in front of people. Wow,
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: And today I get to do that too. I get
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: they said, tell you have three minutes for a speech.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: That's it. So I just want to tell you I've
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: said it before in other videos. I love AI as
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: a tool, and so yes, I used it to help
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: me create my speech. And I tell it, even though
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: it says three minutes, I told it too. Give me
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: you know, I need to write a two minute speech
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: for accepting this award. Blah blah blah blah blah. And
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: then I go it provides for the speech, and then
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I go in and edited it to fit my tone
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: and the things I wanted to share. So and just
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: in reading that was like, Yeah, I deserve this, and
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: that's you know, that's the other thing. Just deserving it.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: It's a gift that's being presented to me. It's a
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: gift that they even nominated me. It's a gift that
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: they see these things in me that I didn't know.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, and i've and I know
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I've said this before too. People are watching you. People
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: are watching you. They're watching what you say, what you do,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: your actions. You're You're like they're watching you, and you're
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: surprised on days when it comes to the surface of
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: being nominated for an award or You're just at a
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: at a group meeting and and you say your name
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: and somebody goes, oh, are you Amy with the Tea
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Time podcast or Tea Time off YouTube or you know.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, you know, I have no idea who
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: these people are, but they're watching. And so even on
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: social media, do I'm putting those social media posts out?
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: So my my biggest thing has been to be and
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: do better in myself so I can be and do
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: better for others. Do I get in the funk yep?
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Do I get cranky? Yep? Do I get sassy? Yep?
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Like I go through all the things too. It's not
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: a hundred I'm not on point one hundred percent of
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: the time, not expected to. But even so, I noticed
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: a slight shift to me of like, wow, people are
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: recognizing me that for this, and so how can I
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: amplify that? How can I be even even better? So
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: and just you know, it's the year of the fire Horse,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: and I feel that stirring in me and things are
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: moving and grooving and and it's actually another step of
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: getting more active in my social media and starting to
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: cultivate my coaching business because for people who don't know
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: I have a full time job more than a full
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: time job, and cultivating a business on the side. If
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: anybody has done that, you know, it's it takes a
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: lot of energy to to be able to have harmony
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: within the two and and have your life like your
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: personal life, your if your your espouse, your kids, your household.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Like it's a lot to add onto a plate. It's
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: like go into the buffet and your your plate's like
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: piled high. Every time I go get a salad, I
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: think I'll just get a little salad on my plate.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: You know, it like ends up like six inches high.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: It's huge. That's kind of my plate right now. So
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: but it's all for the growth though, it's all for
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I talked to another lady not too long ago who
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: she's been in an industry her career for I think
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: she said twenty seven years, and recently made a complete shift,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: quit her job, went into a different field in the
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: similar under this similar umbrella, but just a different part
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: of it. And she's like, man, am I being pushed
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: to grow? I am being pushed to my limits? I
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: am I am expanding. She's just saying all these things,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, but she knew it was time for
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: her to do that. She felt it in herself that
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: where she was she was stagnant and then not feeling
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: any kind of personal growth. And so she's like, it
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: was this time I needed something. Something else is going
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: to push me to grow more.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Nice, but it is time, this is this is the time. Yeah.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: And so it's like, you know, letting this audience know
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: that you if you feel something stern and you just
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: take a step in a different direction. Again, I have
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: this full time job. Some weeks it requires fifty sixty
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: hours and finding or creating, not finding, but making the
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: time to cultivate what it is that I'm actually passionate about.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: In my job, yes I am. I get to make
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: a difference in that space with women, which is what
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: I prefer to work with as far as my business goes.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: But in the in my job, I get to do
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: that as well. And in my coaching business or teaching
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: and stuff, I have more freedom and flexibility on how
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: I can show up and what I can say and
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: all those things. The other world is very business like
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: and more proper. And it's like, if you've watched our
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: videos for a while, you know my f bomb kind
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: of girl. And sometimes I have a potty mouth, and
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I don't have that. I have that more with my
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: own business. So it's like I want to have there
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: more of the freedoms. Even just having my mom be
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: uh in the hospital. I had to be there for
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: I have to. I got to be there with her
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: for three weeks and feeling the pressure of the job.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: You know, I gotta get back, I gotta I'm getting
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: behind if people are depending on me and all these things.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: And so another piece of the fire is to give
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: some more energy to my business. And this accepting this
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: award as part of that plan. I think part of
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Spirit's plan anyway for sure, because of what I just
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: went through with all.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: Of it, it's preparing you for something bigger.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: But that's how I feel.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: I feel like it is preparing you for something bigger.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: And if we always look at things like that, we
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: have these once and these are these feelings, like we
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: this passion that we want to do these things, and
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: sometimes we don't know how to get there from here
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: to there. And in order to get there from here
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: to there, you have to walk the journey. We can't
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: we can't just jump on the jet plane or the portal.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: I mean we can, I think, but we just haven't
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: gotten to that point yet and zip right to that
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: space and so it's just a progression. We get to
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: watch this unfolding and it's an awesome thing because to me,
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: everything that you're talking about is growth for all of us.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: It's growth for all of us and every part of
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: our journey that's happening right now. It's not something. It's
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: it's relevant and it's and it's helpful. So everyone has
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: an opportunity, they have a choice to step into a
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: different path that they want to and it's so subtle.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: It doesn't have to We all think it's got to
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: be something big. You know, we're always thinking about purpose
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: and all this stuff. It's like I was telling Framan
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: the other day, I'm like sitting on the couch and
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: I said, maybe this is part.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Of my purpose and I'm sitting there loving on my dog.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: I'm just like totally connected with my dog, one of
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: my dogs at that moment, and we're just totally loving
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: on each other.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: That was my purpose in that moment.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: But we think that in a lot of ways, it's
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: got to be so grand and so much bigger. And
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: that is grand, and that's big and that's huge because
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: that puts so much power into the world. You're going
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: through your process the last for a couple of days,
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: you walk right through it.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: I see I see you. You got to make an
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: AI image of you walking through fire.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: Or stuff like that, coming out and everything's blown up
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: behind you, and it's like you can smile on your
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: face and everything is good. Is you're on the other
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: side of it. Yeah, and you no longer have to
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: carry the shit anymore. That's the awesome thing. It's not
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: that's part of that is gone, and when it comes up,
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: it'll be just like.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay, you're okay, you're okay.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: I'll give you a hug for a second and you're
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: good and then that's it.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: And also in that what I had to remind myself too,
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: just I just thought about this is if someone is
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: judging you for something, that's on them. So whatever they're
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: talking about, whatever they're saying or thinking, that's on them.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: And I'm either I am a mirror to them. Everybody's
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: a mirror to each other, and I'm a mirror to them.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: So what is it in me that they can't yet
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: see in themselves or they do see in themselves and
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: they haven't yet tapped into or it could be and
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: hopefully this isn't the piece for me. But I'm showing
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: them something about themselves they don't like.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: Like they have a judgment about it, right, They have
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: a judgment about it because someone else taught them a
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: judgment about.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: This, but because yeah, because I'm showing up and being
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: that external display of their internal world, they struggling with it,
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: and now they got to criticize it. Whereas if it's
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: just their own internal world beating themselves up for whatever,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: or having these desires that they haven't yet stepped toward,
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: or feeling uncomfortable within themselves with their own you know, spirituality, religion,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: whatever that is, and they haven't done anything different in here.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I'm showing up in the way I am, and they're
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable with that because I'm displaying maybe some joy that
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: they wish they had, and so they got to put
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: me down to make themselves look better. And it doesn't
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: matter if it's an external verbiage, verbal conversation or an
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: internal conversation with themselves. The judgment is not It's about me,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: because I'm showing up to be the mirror for them
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: but ultimately it's about themselves in something they're uncomfortable with
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: within themselves, where we can turn that around and let
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: other people. And I learned this years ago, it's not
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: still to this day, sometimes not that easy. I'm dealing
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: with a somebody whom I'm around on a regular basis,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: who I'm doing my best to sift through what it
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: is that I don't really care about her, because whatever
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: she is showing me, it's in me, and I'm allowing
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: the process for it to come to the surface so
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: I can actually see it, and then then the work
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: is in me. It's not her for her to change.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: She is who she is, and that's not for her
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: to change, so I can be happy. It's for me
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: to look at what is causing the discomfort in me
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: about her, her behavior, her the way she talks, her
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: body language, whatever whatever the case may be. So I'm
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: still I'm sifting through that right now as we're as
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: we're having these recordings at this time in my life.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: Nice and she's basically guiding you to your own happiness. Yep,
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: because now she's lit something off for you to kind
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: of follow the trail, and you're following the trail and
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: you just kind of gave a breakdown, Well you didn't,
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: just kind of you gave a breakdown of how people
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: can do the same thing. It's not to sit and
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: blame other people because guess what, when you're sitting and
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: blaming other people and judging other people, it doesn't feel good.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: It doesn't feel good. That's your gauge. She just doesn't
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: feel good. And so go in the opposite direction. And
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: it's empowering. Now you've taken back control of your own power.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: You're not throwing it out at somebody else. You've brought
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: that power back into yourself, and then you're using that
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: power to help guide you on this journey so that
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: you're again I don't know why I saw with stone
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: in mailbox, but anyways, again you're being able to bypass
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: a lot of the the trauma or the suffering that
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: we put ourselves through process all this stuff. When you're
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: just going straight to the gate likes Nope, we're good,
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: We're good. I'm going to walk through this. Everything's gonna
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: be fine. Because now I get to see something. I'm
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: learning more about myself and why it's there. Because if
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: we don't start looking at ourselves, we still carry this
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: stuff with us the whole time.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: We still walk around with that.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: I'm happy, but you know, there's always something something, a
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: little hanging around in your your your butt's disappearing, right,
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: and not in a physical way, but in the in
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: the whole world way, like you're the distractions, the pulling
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: you off of balance or out of harmony is disappearing.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you took your power back.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: And you know what something I thought about years ago
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: to or actually was told from a mentor. She said,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: you know, I this was in a class setting. Wasn't
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: just directed at me, but she says that you know,
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: if people are talking about you, that means they're leaving
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: everybody else alone. It's like, okay, oh, there you have it.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: We're not picking on anybody else. And I can handle this, so.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: It's all right, You're welcome.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: And then on top of that, it goes for myself,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: goes for bed, it goes for everybody. If we're spending
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: time judging somebody, you've just wasted time on something that
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: you can't get back, Like you can't get that time back.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: You just spent time, whether it was a one second
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: thought or a ten minute conversation with a friend or
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: you know, continued conversation throughout the day. How much of
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: that time did you spend talking about somebody and you
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: can't get that time back to do something else it's
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: more productive for you in your life or to amplify
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: your own joy or And I'm glad. I actually am
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: very thankful at where that I'm saying this out loud
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: right now and having these conversations because there's another person
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: that I'm around quite frank quite frequently, who is very judgmental,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: and I find myself getting wrapped up in the conversation.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: And it's it's like, I know when the conversation's happening,
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: doesn't feel good. I feel in my body, doesn't feel
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: good one bit because most of the time it's criticizing them, right,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: being very prankful about people, and and but as human
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: and default, I get sucked into the conversation. So so
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: it's very as always when Bev and I come together
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: we have these conversations, there's always something that that we
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: take away from it. Uh, and this is mine today
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: is just a huge reminder of judgment so and criticism.
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: And we create from all those places. It's one hundred
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: percent where I create and and guess what. And I'm
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: sitting here thinking as you're talking about that, because in
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: a relationship, with any relationships I have, I'm learning the
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: best thing I can do is focus on all the positive.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: You know, Well, when someone passes away.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: For me in my experience, I remember all the good
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: stuff about them. I don't remember the bad stuff. There
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: is no bad stuff. And it's like for me, I'm
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: getting to that place to appreciate people while they're here,
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: I'm looking at all the good stuff because that kind
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: of gets them off the hook. Then they don't have
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: to be on the hook to trigger me for something
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: inside it, for me to see something withinside myself, So
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: I kind of let them off the hook. And you're
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: doing the same thing for a lot of people too.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: And then when we're in that space of that in
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: that place because we are going to be around people
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: sometimes because it's seeing how we're going to respond to it,
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: how does it feel that are going to it's going
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: to make us feel uncomfortable? And I guess in those
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: points it's like taking a breath and call on your
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: guides or you know, just uplift your heart. Like it's
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: there's so many different things that we can do in
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: that moment. But because it is easy to get swept
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: away to that energy, it really is. But again, and
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: I'm going to talk about more in the next video,
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: is when we're in judgment, we're creating. We're always creating,
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: and we're not necessarily creating the things that we want.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: And so I'm in a space these days where if
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: my mind starts to think, oh, what if this is happening,
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: I could use a male female relationship, husband, wife or whatever,
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: what if this is going on? And it's like, you
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: keep thinking about all that stuff and you run on
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: that track.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Because I've done it.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: But on the opposite side of that is all the
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: amazing things that person does all the time that you
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: love or you've had an experience with someone in your
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: life that has done those things.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: And I'm creating from a space.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: So if I'm creating from a space, I'm creating from
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: a space of all my relationships are authentic, transparent, loving, nurturing, guiding, supportive.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Like I'm putting.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: It's given me the opportunity because I was being triggered
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: in that space or noticing how I was thinking, to
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: put me into a new place a new thought pattern
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: of always trying to.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Find something positive about the person.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: And now that I'm saying this out loud, I'm recognizing
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: how I don't do that for myself. So now that's
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: my next part of my plan is that every time
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: I see something wrong or what I perceive as wrong
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: with myself, I'm going to find the positives within myself
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: and that's going to change things. Well, I love how
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: spirit just kind of just told me, just saying, just
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: got told.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: So that was cool.
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: Again, Like you said, the conversations, they're such a benefit,
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: but there're a benefit to me too.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like, today, don't worry about it, because.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: I was judging myself looking in the mirror this morning.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: I was judging myself and it's like, WHOA, what happened
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: to you?
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Girl? You need drink some more water.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: So I'm having this conversation but not looking at the positive.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: And it's like now that even as we're having a conversation,
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: I'm realizing all the words in terminology, the feelings that
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: I put towards myself lately, judging myself. But yeah, so creating.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: So now I'm going to sit down today because I
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: learned this from you. But I'm gonna sit down today
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: and I'm gonna write out this information about myself of
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: all the things that I like about myself, And that's
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: what my focus is going to be because really that's
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: what everything outside of me was just leading me back
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: into me, is like.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Hey, hey, what about me?
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: Hey, you're talking shit, you're thinking, You're not thinking nice
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: thoughts about yourself right now. And it's not just appreciating
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: where you're at. It's because it's not me just appreciating
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: where I'm at. It's appreciating all the things about me
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: that I've done that feels good, whatever feels good to
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: raise my vibrational frequency.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: And that's what I was gonna add because that award,
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: the nominee submission was about accomplishments because it's a community award,
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: So what have I done to inspire community? And so
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: so that was what I had to go back and
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: reread was my accomplishments. So I was gonna say, along
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: with writing down what it is you like about yourself,
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: what's been your accomplishments, because when you really sit down
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: and start writing those out, Like when I went back
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: and read because this was a month and a half
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: ago now, righte about a month ago that I wrote
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: this praably five weeks ago that I wrote this submission,
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: I had actually forgot. What I wrote was all the
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: things going on, getting back, getting back into my life,
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: get back into work, work in an extra long hours,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: like all the things. But I actually forgot when it
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: was announced of that I was receiving the award in
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: front of all these women, I forgot what I wrote.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: So I had to go back and reread it, and
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: it was about myccomplishment. And so I think that's super key. Also,
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: not just writing down the things you like about yourself,
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: because sometimes people may struggle with that. But if you
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: write down what have you survived. I've survived abuse, molestation,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: you know, a rejection, abandonment. But when I break those
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: down into the stories of what that was pertaining to
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: and here I am, all these years later with a
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: completely different outlook on life and happier than I ever
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: was back then, that is what's huge. And that's a
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: fantastic reminder of.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Your growth.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: And how are you just you know, with your business.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna use as an example you went from not
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: to demean your what you do, but I'm gonna say
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: probably went from just doing massage all the time to
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: a deeper meaning of the massage and listening to the
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: body and then letting people know, you know, you have
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: some stuck energy here, what's going on in your life?
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: And now you're more consoling, and then you're coaching, and
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: then you're having these deeper conversations with your clients and
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: making the difference in their life and so that evolution
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: of that. But you had to go through all your
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: stuff and healing and the journey it took for you
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: to get there. So that's the focus. What was your
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: journey to take you from Oh, I'm going to go
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: to massage school to Man, I'm having some super deep
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: conversations with my clients. That's the journey that matters. That
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: All those as a huge reminder of where you've been
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: and where you are, and when you take that into consideration,
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: we all deserve an award. Right, Well, yeah, that's huge.
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: And the areas we were coming from in those time
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: frames too, Because you said that, it's like Man, at
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: the time when I went off to missov school, I
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: was escaping I was escaping relationship. I didn't know what
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: to do with I was trying to escape happy, you know,
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: being unhappy all the time. And it's been a progression,
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: it has been a process. I never looked at it
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: the way you just said it out loud.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: So it's like.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: It that's pretty much it, because you do. You start
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: off with your you know, your trade, you're being taught
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: something and you're doing it. But it's like it turns
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: out to be so much more. And it's like, all
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: along this journey I have changed. It's helped to grow
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: me or cultivate me into something else. Now where am
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: I going?
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know, and I'm okay with that.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so yeah, a lot of nuggets out of
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: this one. So and BEV and I am work to
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: do now too. So that's right, like oh crap, I
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: gotta go back to the drawing board or pen and paper. Ah. Anyway,
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: you don't have to step into coaching or teaching or
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: anything like that. You can be resourceful and just share
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: the content that's resonating with you. Share it with your friends, family,
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: co workers, somebody in the grocery line that hey, you know,
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: you listen to this content and it could be ours
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: or somebody else's, doesn't matter to us. That The point
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: is people showing up to be influencers to have a
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: positive effect on your life, and other people are seeking
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: that too. So whatever resonates with you, maybe share it,
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: or share the resource, the podcast, the book, the teacher who,
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: whatever that might be. So you can find us on
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: many platforms or on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, spreakers, Spotify,
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: and podcast attic and it's super simple to just hit
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: the share button. I do it quite frequently. So any
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: final words.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: Bab find ways to be enjoy Yeah.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, And one of those things could be make a
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: list of all your accomplishments because there's probably way more
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: than you know or I've given yourself credit for ye
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: all right, friends, thanks for hanging out with us. Tea
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: time with Amy a BEV. We'll see you next video.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: Bye,