Latest / SHULCHAN ARUCH YOMI: Own the Halacha in 25 minutes a day! / Yoreh De’ah 241:1-6. Honoring Parents: Cursing, Insulting, Hitting, David and Shimi, Doctor and Treating, Splinters

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Yoreh De’ah 241:1-6. Honoring Parents: Cursing, Insulting, Hitting, David and Shimi, Doctor and Treating, Splinters · SHULCHAN ARUCH YOMI: Own the Halacha in 25 minutes a day!

• 0:00
  OK, good morning. We are at Helkos Kibo da veim
• 0:04
  resh mem Alef. OK, so we're on, we're starting
• 0:08
  Gimel today. But just to take a step back a
• 0:11
  little bit just to review what we already learned.
• 0:14
  Just to clarify, we spoke about it's us served to be Mccallo
• 0:19
  one's parents. So the mission, just to point
• 0:23
  out the mission, it says in Sanhedrin parent Zion that the
• 0:26
  only time 1 is high of if when the one curses Khastushal and
• 0:33
  his parents, it's only if it's done with a shame Hashem or a
• 0:37
  kinoy has to be shame Hashem and then it would be high of skela
• 0:43
  and if it would be with a kinoy then it'd be just a love.
• 0:49
  My focus tonight but OK that's Allah now that for example, you
• 0:54
  would say something someone would say you know may use God's
• 0:59
  name or Keanui Hashem, whatever it is and would say Hashem
• 1:05
  should should curse you Hashem should smite you kill you,
• 1:10
  whatever that Lushan is so something along that make you
• 1:14
  sit in the stomach. Anything negative that you have
• 1:17
  attributing that Hashem should do to that person.
• 1:19
  Here we're talking about parents, then that's an example
• 1:22
  of they would be over this if if it's just a Lushin of AB Zion or
• 1:29
  just insulting somebody apparent right where that's what we're
• 1:32
  talking about. You're saying something negative
• 1:34
  even as it's discussed in Sanhedrin.
• 1:38
  Sorry, Koshin. Well, it's a Sanhedrin, but also
• 1:40
  Koshin mishpat Kavzion. Even just if someone only uses
• 1:46
  the indirect terminology like May God and not bless you that
• 1:53
  when none of those and anything that's not so those cases where
• 1:57
  you're insulting Mevaza, it wouldn't be an ESR de araisa of
• 2:02
  koala. When one is Haya again, we're
• 2:06
  going to see there's obviously the mitzvah kibravaeim era and
• 2:12
  see above. We're going to get there cursing
• 2:16
  from the Lushan of Arur. So that's can all so that it
• 2:19
  could all be de Araisa and Issa de arisa, but it won't be the
• 2:25
  Issa de arisa of koala. When one gets high of high of
• 2:31
  malchus de arisa for koala or skela.
• 2:34
  Fine. Let me just point out a famous
• 2:37
  example by Shimmy Benguera. We're all familiar that story
• 2:41
  and Ted's Shmuel Bay's Ted Zaim and when it comes back, Shimo
• 2:46
  based design, Perek design and when it comes back with Shlomo
• 2:50
  in Malachim Alef Perek bet. So there Shuna Benguera, he was
• 2:55
  rush Sanhedrin Khazal, say he was the Rebbe of Shlomo
• 2:59
  Hamelich. And there he so the the Tanakh
• 3:04
  tells us how he he cursed, he cursed David.
• 3:10
  He threw stones at him. Basically he told him that, you
• 3:14
  know, he was the cause of death. That's Shimi Bengueros from the
• 3:17
  family of Shahul from Binyamin. So right.
• 3:21
  So there's attention over there that Davi took over.
• 3:24
  And so there it's also called Kulatni Morexit that we see that
• 3:28
  in Malaki and that that's what Shimi did.
• 3:31
  So the Matsuda others point out that that it doesn't mean
• 3:37
  literally a koala over there. It's a lusham of Kalut and be
• 3:42
  Zion. You're disgracing somebody
• 3:44
  again. It's all you know language or
• 3:47
  semantics when the lotion of koala is used.
• 3:50
  Sometimes it's a literal koala according to the definition and
• 3:54
  halacha and the khamesh what a koala is.
• 3:57
  And in Tanak koala could just be something very negative.
• 4:02
  Just interesting. Right now it's a drash by Kuf,
• 4:11
  right? It's a different color.
• 4:12
  It's not the same level. Also there when you look inside
• 4:16
  Tanak and Shmuel, you see he never curses Dvid going forward.
• 4:21
  He says you are cursed, you are bad or bad things are happening
• 4:25
  to you and he accuses him that's but he never says God should do
• 4:31
  anything bad to David. He calls him and he reads it
• 4:36
  from the Lushi because I'll say Russia, Tevas of no wave, MO
• 4:40
  Avi, Rotsea, Sorer and Toeva. That's a name, right?
• 4:44
  So it stands for Chavez Cophey. Yeah.
• 4:47
  Interesting. And David, just this little
• 4:50
  Tanakhar. David pointed out that he did
• 4:54
  not or I wish I wanted to kill him on the spot.
• 4:56
  Shimmy. And David said let him.
• 4:59
  He's not really cursing me because he wants to curse me.
• 5:03
  Hashem is making him do it. Hashem is doing this to me
• 5:07
  because I deserve it. It's pretty much befederoshe and
• 5:09
  absukhim. He's doing.
• 5:10
  This is all from Hashem directing it at me, and he's
• 5:13
  just using him as the the physical Shalia.
• 5:16
  But it's not really him because I'll also point out the Midrash.
• 5:21
  How can it be? He's a huge Talmud hakam and how
• 5:24
  can he behaving like this? It's because it wasn't.
• 5:28
  It wasn't from him. Hashem made him do it in order
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  to cause David to feel worse about his Vera, in particular
• 5:36
  with Bachava or whatever it is to do Chuva.
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  So David says let him live. And David particularly told,
• 5:43
  according to Khazal, told Shlomo and waited for Shlomo and said
• 5:46
  don't kill him until all of his he's done having children
• 5:49
  because one of his children is, is Mordechai.
• 5:53
  He wanted to wait for Mordechai to be born, let him live his
• 5:56
  life, whatever he needs to accomplish.
• 5:58
  And then and then he asked Shlomo Amalekh to kill him so
• 6:02
  that he should get kapara for what he did and enter straight
• 6:05
  into Olam Haba. So that's a little bit who we're
• 6:09
  talking about David Amalek and Sheni Viguera.
• 6:12
  And just an interesting question over here regarding the Shamus
• 6:15
  we mentioned. So as Moshe pointed out the
• 6:20
  Shah, the Shah says under Kinui, what one of the names is Shakai
• 6:26
  or Sivakot, those are included in the Kinui and same with
• 6:31
  Khanun and Rahun, right? So obviously to call Kurdish
• 6:35
  Barkhul Rahul are merciful Rahman and Aramaic using causing
• 6:39
  him using the word if one's going to curse using right,
• 6:43
  there's also cursing a leader cursing any Jew.
• 6:47
  So all of these it's ramifications Magadh the Kurdish
• 6:51
  cursing the Kurdish Barkhul. So it's all similar halakhos
• 6:54
  anyway. So a lesson of Kinoi is just
• 6:57
  using the word the Hashem, saying the word Hashem or saying
• 7:01
  God for any, any lush one, for Kurdish barku in a different
• 7:05
  language. All these are considered
• 7:07
  kinuyim. But we're coming back to the
• 7:09
  words shakai and svakos. So we know that the that those
• 7:14
  are shameless of the Kurdish barko.
• 7:15
  They're not really kinuyim. So it depends for what these
• 7:20
  are. Shakai and svakos are two of the
• 7:23
  names that are not named Khakim we're not allowed to erase.
• 7:27
  Everyone agrees to that as far as I know.
• 7:29
  But when it comes to Kolola, so according to Rashi, this Shah is
• 7:36
  coming from Rashi. Rashi on the page it's I think
• 7:41
  it's on Hedrin Samava. So Rashi says shakai and sivakot
• 7:46
  hanun virakum those actually I don't know if he uses the word
• 7:49
  svakos. I think so anyway, not sure.
• 7:52
  But anyways, for sure Shakai and whatever that comes from Rashi
• 7:56
  and so it's a Mahokis, Rashi and the Rambam.
• 8:00
  There are Rahronian who ask on the Shah why does he go with
• 8:03
  Rashi? Why does he follow this?
• 8:05
  But it's a Mahokis, Rashi and Rambam.
• 8:08
  So I believe all the names are named Anam Hakim.
• 8:12
  But when if in order to use a name for a curse, The question
• 8:17
  is, is it any one of the shameless Shamim Hakim, which is
• 8:20
  the Rambam holds, or is it only shameless Hami ukhadim?
• 8:24
  And it doesn't mean they're not exactly the same.
• 8:27
  You Khalim would would be shame adnut Alefdalid, Alefdalid
• 8:31
  Nunyud, it's all the same name. Whatever whatever that is, that
• 8:36
  one word, it's written sometimes as an acronym and in places
• 8:41
  Alefdalid whatever refers it Anut or Yurtkewavke and perhaps
• 8:46
  also Elokim Elokaja. But a name like Shaka in Svakos
• 8:52
  is OK. So my focus, if that's
• 8:57
  considered the same fine. Let's go to let's go to Gilmo
• 9:04
  Haya quotes Tahuvlavi. Now a father has a splinter in
• 9:10
  his skin. Loya Tiani it's user for a child
• 9:15
  to remove this splinter right from the skin.
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  A little piece of wood. You want to you want to just
• 9:23
  pluck it out with a needle without causing any bleeding,
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  right? It's possible.
• 9:27
  Sure, it's possible. You have to be careful, but why
• 9:31
  is it aser shama yavola sotbo khabura?
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  Because by a mistake, right? While you're removing the coats
• 9:39
  with your needle or you're peeling the skin.
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  However, whatever you're doing, it's so possible and for there
• 9:47
  to be a drop of blood come out and because you might cause
• 9:51
  Khabura to your father, that's an ISR der Isa.
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  So therefore you're not allowed to vahain.
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  I'm going to explain. Hold on, I'm not done with the
• 9:59
  thought. Vahain in Humakhi's dumb.
• 10:02
  So too, if you are bloodletting Ferahufua or Rofe or a doctor,
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  Roy Yakhi's dumb. Lavi should not treat his
• 10:12
  father. He should not cause any
• 10:14
  bloodletting The Loyaktok Lo Avery cannot cut his into any
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  any area of his skin, any organ alpha P shimmer kavan le refua,
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  even though his entire intention is refua helium.
• 10:30
  So it's clear from the Gemara, the post Kim that's this is only
• 10:33
  a dinder Abana Kabura by definition has to be you have
• 10:37
  Qabana to cause a Kabura, right? And that's the only time it
• 10:42
  would be ASA if Well, yeah. So if it's Derek or Fuan so
• 10:51
  here. But if it's done Derek Rafua,
• 10:54
  it's not it has the only time it's us there is if it's done
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  Derek, it's Havana to hurt somebody.
• 11:01
  But if you have right. Ah, so yeah, yeah.
• 11:05
  So me Durabanan one should not do it, but in order.
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  But if it's Derek Rafua MI Deraisa, it's 100% permitted.
• 11:21
  OK, you can make that comparison.
• 11:22
  I mean, I don't the Mahaber. He says it's also it's only
• 11:28
  yesterday abundant. Well, how clear is it?
• 11:33
  It's fairly clear from the lashon.
• 11:35
  But anyways, all the postscame, the Gemara, it's very clear.
• 11:41
  OK, let me just keep reading the Rama and then we'll see.
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  Bahmed varim ammurim kashiyesh sham.
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  The only time it's usser for a father as as child to do it for
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  their parent is if there's nobody else.
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  I'm sorry, that's it's only usser if there is somebody else
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  who can do it for the father who needs the rapport.
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  All right, it needs a splinter removed.
• 12:09
  Well, inane sham Akha. There's no one else Lasso.
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  There's no one else to do it. You're the only one in the room.
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  You're the only one around whom he star.
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  He's in pain. Harry whom make keys.
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  So you should do the bloodletting even though you're
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  causing blood to pour out of the skin.
• 12:23
  The whole take low and you cut whatever you need to do Kafi
• 12:26
  mashi or shulasso, according to what the father wants you to do,
• 12:30
  what he permits you to do, and he wants you to do reform.
• 12:34
  Fine. So you see there's a difference
• 12:36
  between, well, that's the question, there's a Mahloka.
• 12:41
  If there's a difference, the Rama does not say yay Shomrim.
• 12:45
  Notice according to the Rama postures, he does not think
• 12:48
  there is a Mahlokis. But there is a question in the
• 12:51
  post game, is there a Mahlokis between the Sholkhanar and the
• 12:55
  Rama? So if you look in the base,
• 12:56
  you'll see if it's pretty clear that it's a Mahlokit.
• 13:00
  Perhaps it's a Mahlokit Rishoni. Let me clarify the Rambam, the
• 13:03
  Ramban and the tour, they all say 100% clear that clearly that
• 13:09
  it is mutter there's no issue Darabanam to treat a parent for
• 13:13
  a FUA when it's there's nobody else.
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  Nobody else can be and is can mean a lot of things.
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  It can mean the child's a doctor and he won't charge the father
• 13:24
  and the mother and the parents have to go to another doctor.
• 13:27
  It's going to cost them money. So that's called there is no one
• 13:30
  else. Again, it's a question how much
• 13:34
  money is it $10? Is it $50,000?
• 13:37
  Surgery? Is it I'll, I'll leave that
• 13:39
  open. But there's that's certainly a
• 13:41
  level of there's nobody else. If the child is is the best or
• 13:47
  the father insists that, you know, only the parent insists
• 13:51
  that he's only going to go to this child.
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  So the parent could do what he wants as far as the kids
• 13:56
  concerned. Now the parents not going
• 13:57
  anywhere else. So, so anyway, so there is a
• 14:03
  I'll. OK.
• 14:05
  How far do you want to interpret that, that last case, we'll
• 14:08
  leave it, we'll leave it open, but that's certainly a
• 14:11
  potential. Though it actually doesn't take
• 14:14
  anything, isn't worth anything. Very funny.
• 14:19
  So emotion, I don't know if you heard that.
• 14:21
  If the doctor isn't as I'll say, what if the doctor doesn't take
• 14:25
  anything? He's not worth anything.
• 14:26
  He doesn't charge anything. Very cute.
• 14:28
  So I'll just point out on that, on that note, sometimes a child
• 14:34
  or whatever, a loved one who's doing, who's the doctor will
• 14:38
  sometimes give you the best care.
• 14:41
  Sometimes if they're not such a good physician, then that's not
• 14:46
  necessarily true. And sometimes they care too much
• 14:49
  that they're not so good anymore.
• 14:51
  They're no gay avidova. And sometimes you do things that
• 14:53
  are a little bit heroic or you want to be extra cautious or
• 14:58
  less cautious or less aggressive, too aggressive to
• 15:01
  remove something and your judgement call.
• 15:05
  Not the same case, but I remember once when I was doing
• 15:07
  in a, in a residency in the hospital, I wanted to to observe
• 15:12
  or assist during a surgery. I think it was from my father as
• 15:15
  maybe a grandparent. And at first, because I was on
• 15:21
  staff, they were going to let me just hang out in the room.
• 15:24
  But then when they found out I was a family member.
• 15:26
  So the policy in the hospital is no family members are allowed to
• 15:29
  even be in the in the surgical room.
• 15:32
  And so I should have kept my mouth quiet.
• 15:34
  But anyway, so I was not allowed to be in there just because even
• 15:39
  a bystander could sometimes like, you know, get emotional
• 15:42
  and then the doctor can get flustered or just create tension
• 15:47
  in the room. So that's just a flip side
• 15:51
  anyway, so anyway, so the what I wanted to point out was the base
• 15:55
  Yosef. He points out that it's Mashma
• 16:00
  from the rush and the riff. That's two out of the three
• 16:03
  Mashma. They say it doesn't matter even
• 16:06
  if there's no one else in the room, you cannot do it.
• 16:09
  But he said maybe you can And then maybe it's only but he
• 16:15
  points out that it's not so clear in the riff and the rush.
• 16:18
  So again, in the Sholkhanar it's a little bit less clear.
• 16:22
  And you know, usually Paskins 2 out of the three, but that's
• 16:26
  when they're clear. So anyways, it's not 100% clear
• 16:29
  what's the Doss of the Sholkhanar if it's a mahogas or
• 16:32
  not. But I think there might be a
• 16:35
  little bit of a different amount of how much money or how much
• 16:39
  difficult should you there be a difference in cheetah between
• 16:42
  the Sholkhanar and the Rama? But anyway, so Ashkenazi would
• 16:47
  generally follow clearly the Rama and Spartan would probably
• 16:51
  depends how much effort is it worth it to be Mahamar or not OK
• 16:56
  is. One thing clear though, nobody
• 16:58
  holds it to a mitzvah. Kibbah aim to do it.
• 17:02
  What a mitzvah Kibbah. Aim to do what?
• 17:04
  To be the rofe? Well, it sounds like it depends.
• 17:09
  Again, there's always a tug of war.
• 17:11
  Who's available? Is there a wait list?
• 17:13
  Now you have to have someone else and then it's a big tear or
• 17:16
  you have to wait three months. But in general, it's better not
• 17:19
  to because it's not a positive, because we don't want you to do
• 17:23
  a kibura. So la Kakila, even though
• 17:26
  there's a mitzvah kibudu of ABBA aim of doing rafua, it's better
• 17:30
  not to unless you have to. That's clear according to
• 17:33
  everybody. And so my my father, he insisted
• 17:37
  that I would treat him doing dental surgery.
• 17:41
  He wouldn't go to anybody else. He just he wouldn't get dental
• 17:44
  care unless I did it for him. So, so anyway, so I did it.
• 17:49
  I performed surgery on my father and what's it called?
• 17:53
  He insisted and I was free. Gilman asked what about brought
• 17:59
  up? What about boxing?
• 18:01
  Can you do boxing with a father and a son or or teach him so for
• 18:07
  fun. So I don't know.
• 18:09
  I think I think we feel if if it's there's a reasonable chance
• 18:14
  you're going to cause bruising, which I think there is.
• 18:17
  You know, it depends how much padding and you know how
• 18:19
  physical you're getting. It's probably probably us
• 18:23
  because based on this, even. Just.
• 18:26
  Having a kid get used to it. Yeah, that's not a very healthy
• 18:31
  thing to. I don't know, depends on your
• 18:33
  culture. Dalit.
• 18:35
  How you Aviv emo rishaim gumurim The auvera Vera of parents were
• 18:41
  rishaim gumurim afila niigmardinam la hariga and they
• 18:45
  have a din to be put to death. We otzim maharig and they are
• 18:48
  going to be put to death. Asur Lola hakotam ulakalam one.
• 18:53
  It's asur for the child to do this, to cause them injury or to
• 19:00
  curse them. All right then.
• 19:02
  This is consistent with the Sholkhanarak's opinion.
• 19:06
  Perhaps it's the Rama as well, or maybe he's koche shiftedu
• 19:11
  chuva. Anyways, let's keep reading the
• 19:14
  IM hikaotam O killalam putter and but it but since they're
• 19:19
  already nigmardinam la hariga. So then one is putter from the
• 19:25
  from the rights of punishment the IMA suit chuva.
• 19:29
  If they did do chuva right before you hit them or curse
• 19:35
  them, hare zakhayev venehrag alehem.
• 19:39
  So even though digumar Dina Mahariga, but then we see them
• 19:43
  do chuva, right? If you have witnesses that they
• 19:46
  did chuva and then the child was over with shame Hashem or
• 19:52
  whatever it is. So then he would be the child
• 19:56
  because he did kalo or he hit, he hit his parents Haye venehrag
• 20:01
  alehm. That's the death penalty as
• 20:03
  well. Alpha P well, that's a bad day
• 20:05
  for the family. OK, Alpha P she don't seem
• 20:10
  lahareg right, even though we said that even though they're
• 20:13
  getting the parent is getting the death penalty now the kid
• 20:15
  also OK, let's right. So that's we did say that as
• 20:26
  well. No, so according to the
• 20:31
  Sholkhanara, it's us. Or even if they don't do Chuva
• 20:36
  because there's an isser, there's a mix of Kibravaim and
• 20:41
  there's an isser of Kalala and Hikan hidding, regardless if
• 20:45
  they are for their entire lives Kofrim and Rashayim.
• 20:51
  Rama has a different opinion perhaps, but that's but that's
• 20:57
  going back. You can look it up in the
• 20:59
  previous Eve estimate, but that's but for sure you're high
• 21:03
  of the but it's Aser. But you don't get the same feel
• 21:08
  of Malchus or Hariga if they didn't do Chuvia butter of all.
• 21:12
  So I'm not sure if it's Derisa Derabana and that it's Aser.
• 21:15
  I'll leave that. OK, So it's Aser to do it might
• 21:18
  only be Aser Derabana. OK, I'm not sure.
• 21:21
  Hey, more of our alvira shilohum aleha.
• 21:26
  If the parents did in Avera, what did they get Malchus for?
• 21:31
  Vaya Ben shaliya Loya keotam And he was the shaliya of the yanim.
• 21:36
  The son should not be the one to administer malchus.
• 21:39
  The hanim is hayevu needle even if they're hayev.
• 21:42
  And if the parents are hayev needle Loya shaliya kwan dosam,
• 21:46
  you should not be the one to put them in a harem.
• 21:50
  Villa Yerdov, Villa Keotam and you shouldn't do anything to
• 21:54
  them. I'm not exactly sure, but
• 22:01
  Basdin, you shouldn't do anything.
• 22:03
  I don't know, may probably yeah, give them bad news from Basdin.
• 22:06
  Whatever they Basdin needs him to needs to happen to them.
• 22:10
  Delivers the summons to Basdin either.
• 22:13
  Can you do the delivery? Maybe not, maybe not.
• 22:16
  OK Alpha pischeruya makak they deserve it.
• 22:19
  They got put in nidui, they are high of Malthus veloa sue chuva
• 22:24
  and they didn't do chuva. The sun should not be the one.
• 22:27
  OK, I want to let's let's just do vava at least Kohama vaza
• 22:31
  Aviva emo afila vivarium afila viremiza hareza baklal arur MI
• 22:37
  piaguvura in other words allahola Moshe musina.
• 22:40
  We know that according that Hashem says any bizion to A to a
• 22:46
  parent, even if it's you're not, it's not going to be under the
• 22:49
  strict definition of colola, where one is high of scila or
• 22:55
  malchus. There's still an isser de oraisa
• 22:59
  based on the lotion of arur genemar arur mcclair Aviv emo,
• 23:06
  right? It's aser arur is also when the
• 23:10
  Torah Hashem tells you it's it's arur.
• 23:13
  It's cursed. The child who is Mevaza Makhla,
• 23:17
  he's Mevaza, right Melesham Kalut, right.
• 23:21
  So if one is right colon and retsus.
• 23:25
  So if one is Mevaza, his parent a roar to that child.
• 23:30
  So you see that it's an isser dar Isa.
• 23:32
  If the Torah is telling you it's that child is arur, that means
• 23:35
  what he's doing isn't clearly obviously an isser Dar Isa
• 23:39
  doesn't mean you get malkus for it, but it still is in a
• 23:43
  sedariza Baisdin lacos al zem makat mardut and basdin should
• 23:48
  give lashes actually, but it's their basdin's lashes.
• 23:52
  It's their optional or I mean their abundant lashes or you
• 23:55
  know how, or they give how many they want to give.
• 23:57
  It's not the same parameters of 39 Vela Nash kafi masharaui and
• 24:03
  if right and they should punish the child as they see fit.
• 24:06
  Hagar mission high of Shiva al Eveno be based in Edom Mashvil
• 24:10
  bishwa sheshba Allah and if father is supposed to make a
• 24:14
  Shiva for his son right there's a triya between them.
• 24:18
  Father is one who don't want to make the Shiva.
• 24:20
  It can't be a Shiva with an Allah because.
• 24:22
  Right. The Shiva can't have an Allah on
• 24:25
  it, right? But.
• 24:28
  He wouldn't do it in the case where the the other party is the
• 24:32
  son, because then the son would be causing the father to get an.
• 24:35
  Ola, if you make a shvu and you violate it, then the one is
• 24:38
  making the shvua now gets this curse.
• 24:41
  So therefore when they're invested in the son cannot be
• 24:44
  causing the father to make the shvua very good because then he
• 24:48
  might be causing him to get a curse.
• 24:50
  Chariza Bala kalala alvi vala mashibiya shvua shenba.
• 24:54
  Allah could only be a chevre when there's no curse involved.
• 24:58
  Which is appellate.