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6 Ways Narcissists Test (and Cross) Your Boundaries · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So what are some ways that narcissistic people test your
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  boundaries or just burst through your boundaries like a raging
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  river through a through an old dam?
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  That's what we talk about today, y'all.
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  Of course, if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist myself here to give you the
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  inside look at the mind of a narcissist, how narcissist
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  think, how they might act, all the other good stuff y'all.
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  But let's hop right into it actually took took the time and
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  wrote down a list of a few different ways that some
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  narcissist, not all will test or push your boundaries.
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  So before we hop into that y'all the reason narcissist hate
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  boundaries is because boundaries mean that you could that this is
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  how narcissists view boundaries. They view your boundaries as you
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  trying to control them. They think you setting a
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  boundary or you saying the word no is you trying to control
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  them. And you when you control me, you
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  make me feel smaller and you've it makes me feel rejected.
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  So I hate, hate when you set a boundary because boundaries are
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  telling me, no, I hate the word doe unless I'm using it.
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  So keep that in mind when you're going through this list or
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  you're dealing with a narcissist in your life and you start
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  trying to set a boundary. Why they react so negatively to
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  your boundaries, why they get so flaming hot when you set a
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  boundary or you have something to say or you go about it in
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  that way in a different way, shape or form, right?
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  This is some these are things that you have to consider as
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  you're moving forward and trying to understand that now that is
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  out the way ways that they violate your boundaries or test
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  your boundaries. The first way that I have
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  written down in the job, they will be late on purpose.
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  This could happen when you're just getting to know them when
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  you're just getting to know this narcissistic person.
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  They can absolutely be late on purpose in order to mess with
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  you in order to test to see how far how much they can get away
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  with early on Yo tardiness or just being prompt, being prompt,
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  being on time is respect is just respectful to show up on time.
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  Now can things happen that would result in you showing up late?
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  Yeah, that that's absolutely possible, right.
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  But some narcissistic people who arrive late on purpose to mess
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  with you in the beginning of the relationship or when y'all
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  already established. Now, if it's in the beginning,
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  it really is setting the standards for what's to come
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  later on. So if you're dealing with a
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  person. Yeah, and they're consistently
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  late, and they make excuses to make it seem like you're
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  overreacting. Yeah.
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  So what? I'm an hour and a half late.
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  Who? So did you eat?
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  It's not like you're starving. You're not like you're waiting
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  in a hot car for me. You were in a restaurant.
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  There's people around. There's alcohol.
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  What the hell are you talking about?
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  Why are you making such a big deal out of me being an hour and
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  a half late? Right.
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  And if you keep allowing it, now they know what they can do later
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  on. So if they're Leo, I don't give
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  a damn how much you like somebody.
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  If they're always consistently late on purpose and messing with
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  you, leave them alone. You're setting the standard.
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  But then you later on in the relationship, you'll try to get
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  angry and upset because they're late.
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  But they did it from the beginning.
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  They did it from the beginning. I said this is one way that they
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  will mess with you. This is one way that they will
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  try to control you is literally by doing doing exactly like
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  this, showing being late on purpose later on in the
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  relationship. They'll show up late on purpose
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  to events that to mess with you, that to be disrespectful towards
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  you, to make it seem like you don't matter or your your
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  feelings don't you, you just don't matter.
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  Your feelings don't matter. You're too emotional.
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  They don't care. They'll start showing up late on
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  purpose or they might not show up at all.
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  They might just start ghosting you from the very beginning of
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  the relationship. And again, if this is something
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  that's been allowed, why would it stop later on?
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  If you're allowing this now, you have to ask yourself, why would
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  this stop later on? What?
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  Get it? Got it good.
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  The next thing that I have written down, y'all, I got
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  notes. You got to deal with me.
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  I don't have my teleprompter. My teleprompter is over there on
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  my teleprompter. You got to bear with me right
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  here. The next thing right here is
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  doing the opposite of what you ask.
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  Literally Simply put, they do the opposite of the thing that
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  you're asking them to do that yeah, this can happen and this
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  can show up in a lot of different ways.
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  One thing that, like I said, one way that they'll do this is that
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  they can absolutely doing parenting when you like,
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  especially narcissistic people when you're trying to parent
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  with them or Co parent with them or trying to be amicable with
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  them. If you have a set game plan on
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  how you want to rear your children or raise your children
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  or whatever, they will do the opposite.
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  You want to be a look, you want to do a vegetarian, They're
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  going to be on the corner of our diet.
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  You want them to go up, they're going to go down.
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  You want them to go left, they're going to go right.
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  You don't want any type of you don't like whole milk.
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  You got raw milk. You see what I'm saying?
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  It's, it's so many different things.
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  They're going to do the opposite of what you ask, literally just
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  to mess with you, right? Just to test your boundaries,
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  just to violate your boundaries, to see what they can get away
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  with and to see how you react if you let it go too much,
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  especially in the beginning. This is how it's going to be.
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  And I know for a lot of people it's too late to try to change
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  that now, right? You can try to set a boundary on
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  your partner right now and they're going to get angry and
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  frustrated and might lose their damn mind on you, right?
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  You don't tell me what to do and you're like, wait, I just just
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  do. I'm just just do what I asked.
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  Why are you trying to do the exact opposite?
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  Because they just want to mess with you because they don't want
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  to be told what to do. So they will absolutely,
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  positively do the opposite of what you've request.
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  You know, this is not a long list, y'all.
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  We're not going to be here all day.
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  The next thing that I have written down is drum roll,
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  please, not doing anything at all.
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  Not only will some do the opposite of what you ask, some
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  won't do anything at all just simply because you asked them.
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  You asked them to do it, so they're not going to do it.
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  You can ask them all you want to, but at the end of the day,
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  they might not do it just because you asked them to do it.
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  Narcissistic people, and I think most of y'all can agree with
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  this, do not like being told what to do.
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  I feel like that's the theme of this.
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  I feel like that's the theme of this video.
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  They don't like being told what to do.
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  Got it. Get it.
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  Good. So if I don't like being told
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  what to do, you got to think about it like that.
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  If I don't like what you're telling me what to do, if I
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  don't like how this is going, how things are matriculated or
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  manifesting, you got to understand that I'm going to get
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  pissed off and just not do it just for general purposes.
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  Now, could I just not do it? Could I forget?
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  Could a narcissistic person just forget to do it?
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  Yeah, they could forget, but if it's.
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  Yeah, if it's repetitive, it's the if it's consistently and
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  constantly happening, you got to know that this person is doing
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  this on purpose. Now you got to realize that now
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  you got to see it. Now you got to see it for what
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  it is. You got to see it for how it is.
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  You got to see it for where it is.
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  You know what I mean? This is what you have.
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  This is what you're going to be dealing with.
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  This is how they're going to act.
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  This is how they're going to operate.
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  This is what, this is what narcissistic people typically
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  are. This is who they are.
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  They don't like being told what to do.
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  So sometimes they will just not do it to mess with you or to
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  make you do it by yourself one way.
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  Like there's a term y'all might have heard this term before,
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  y'all? It's called weaponized
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  incompetence. They'll pretend not how to,
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  they'll they'll pretend to not know how to do something or not
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  do it at all because they'll claim that you do it better, you
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  just do it better. You just start dishwasher
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  better. You just wash the dishes better.
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  You just clean the yard better. You just clean the toilet
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  better. You just start a microwave
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  better. You just take care of the kids
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  better. You just change diapers better.
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  I don't know how to change a diaper.
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  I don't know how to read the instructions on a laundry
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  machine. I don't know how to read the
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  instructions on an icebox. Use of them.
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  They'll pretend to not know. Some narcissists are passive
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  aggressive cowards. Y'all, Not everybody's going to
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  be actively aggressive towards you and just say hell no I ain't
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  doing it. Some of them will pretend
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  they'll use this. They'll use the the weaponized
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  incompetence to literally mess with you.
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  They absolutely will. This is something that you have
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  to consider and think about as you're going on to.
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  OK. Is this the last one?
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  Oh yeah. So the next way to test your
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  boundaries is not, this is not the last one.
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  I got 1-2 more. The next one is getting angry.
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  Sometimes they will violate or test your boundaries just by
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  getting pissed off, by raging out on you, by literally just
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  losing their minds and going crazy and just make it and be
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  and messing with you. This is how some of them will
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  operate. This is how some of them will
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  behave. They literally will lose their
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  damn minds and just start going about it like this.
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  They will literally get pissed off, lose their minds, and
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  become activated in this way. They will just get angry.
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  You try to set a boundary, they'll just rage out.
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  And then sometimes you, because out of fear or just out of
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  compliance or just out of not wanting to deal with it, you
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  will remove that boundary, right?
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  You'll let that boundary go. You'll release that boundary.
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  You'll just let it go. You'll do this type of stuff
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  right here. This is what ends up happening.
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  I'm serious. So this is the type of stuff
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  that you might have to deal with as well.
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  Like they might just get angry. Anger is a deterrent.
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  They use their anger as a deterrent.
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  You don't want to argue, you don't want to fuss, you don't
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  want to fight, you don't want to be yelled at or hit or whatever.
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  So you just don't bring it up. You don't set that boundary
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  because now you know what? If you do, you'll get angry.
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  They'll get angry at you. And the last one I have y'all.
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  I thought I'd like to keep you short and sweet.
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  And the podcast is coming soon to y'all.
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  Be ready for that. The next one is the last one is
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  calling you controlling. First off, y'all setting a
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  boundary is not you being controlling.
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  It is controlling what comes in and out of your life.
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  It is controlling how you want to be treated, yeah, but it is
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  not controlling the other person.
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  Boundaries are a fence that you build around your own mental
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  health, your own physical health, your own well-being.
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  You're not built. You don't build fences on
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  everybody, on anybody else's property, right?
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  That's what narcissists do. Narcissists build fences on your
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  life to isolate you away from people.
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  Boundaries are fences that you build so you can control what
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  comes in and out of your life and how you want to be treated
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  and how you want to be thought of and things of that nature.
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  So that's what boundaries are for.
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  They will call your boundaries controlling because they don't
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  like being told what to do. They want you to think that your
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  boundaries that you being manipulative.
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  They'll call you a narcissist for setting the boundary.
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  Wow you going to set a boundary on me?
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  Wow you really are a narcissist aren't you?
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  Wow I didn't think you were a narcissist but now I really did.
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  I didn't really. First I didn't believe that you
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  were a narcissist but now I know.
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  Wow wow wow you sound insane. That sounds y'all.
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  You see how literally in literally insane that sounds?
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  They call you controlling for setting a symbol boundary.
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  You're not controlling. You're protecting your peace,
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  you're protecting yourself. Anyways, y'all if this video
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  brought you some clarity, it brought you some peace, make
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  sure to hit that subscribe button also, y'all let me know
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  what y'all think about the video, the new, the new edits.
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  I work with my man Tom right now, Tom is handling all the
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  video editing. Y'all been leaving a lot of
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  comments. He reads the comments.
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  He's grateful for y'all. I'm grateful for him.
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  So shout out to my editor Tom with the edits and whatnot.
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  He'll be helping me edit the podcast too.
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  So let me know what y'all think. Shout out to my man Tom.
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  Y'all hit the subscribe button. And as always, y'all, as always,
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  let the hunters out peace.