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Dealing With A Narcissist on Mother's day · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Mother's Day with a narcissist, preparing for Mother's Day with
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  a narcissist. That's what we talking about
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  today, y'all? How to prepare, how it's going
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  to be, what is going to be like overall in general with a
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  narcissistic person. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnose narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  So First off, happy early Mother's Day or if you're
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  watching this on Mother's Day, happy Mother's Day.
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  I was going to post this on Sunday but I was just like let
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  me go and do this on Friday. Let me go and get y'all prepared
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  for it because a lot of times I don't post a video to the
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  afternoon so I'm just like y'all will miss it in the afternoon.
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  What I can give to you right now, I can give you the heat
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  right now so you can prepare for it.
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  Because as you might know, narcissists typically are not
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  going to let you have a good Mother's Day.
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  Let's, yeah, let's just keep it hot.
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  Let's keep it ready. Let's keep it all going forward
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  like that, right? Because narcissistic people,
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  toxic people typically are not going to just vibe with you.
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  They're not going to let you have a good Mother's Day if this
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  is your first Mother's Day or if you are currently pregnant by
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  this person. Just prep yourself, especially
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  if you pregnant. If you deal with a narcissist
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  and you're pregnant and you think you about to get
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  celebrated on Mother's Day, buckle your safety belts.
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  You're in for a bumpy ride. Right Because most narcissistic
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  people notice. I said most, not all are going
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  to make the day horrible for you.
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  If you are carrying a baby, if you are with child right now, if
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  you're carrying a baby, they're probably not going to celebrate
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  Mother's Day for you. I know you could be like, well,
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  it's my first Mother's Day technically 'cause I'm pregnant.
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  You're not a mother yet, Why the hell would I celebrate this
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  today? You're not, you're not a real
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  mother. You're not a mother right now.
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  So why the hell would we celebrate today?
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  Why would we do that? Why I'm not celebrating it?
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  You shouldn't celebrate it either, right?
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  They'll treat you like crap for wanting to be celebrated on one
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  day before you have a baby. And they were like well ask
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  anybody else. You're like this.
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  You're so selfish. Why would you want to celebrate
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  Mother's Day? You're not even really a mother
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  yet. See, you're selfish as hell.
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  You this blah blah blah Boo Boo Boo BBB.
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  They'll try to chastise you for wanting to be celebrated on this
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  day, y'all, they absolutely will.
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  They'll try to chastise you. They'll try to make your day
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  horrible. They'll try to make you feel bad
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  about yourself for wanting to celebrate today.
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  They want to want them to have a good day for wanting to be
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  appreciated for carrying this child.
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  Because you know, even when you are pregnant, pregnancy is
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  dangerous. Y'all, I think, should I do a
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  rant bubble? I think I'm going to rant.
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  Pregnancy is dangerous as hell. It's, it's, it's in, it's
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  evasive, isn't it? Right.
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  Your body changes, your mind changes your everything changes
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  about you. Pregnancy is dangerous.
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  So the so yes, they should celebrate you while you were
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  pregnant because you actively pregnant, you're actively in the
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  process of being a mother. You're already motherly, you're
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  already mother like. So yes, you should, should be
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  celebrated even when you are pregnant because pregnancy is
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  scary. Pregnancy is tough.
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  Pregnancy is dangerous. You can lose your life from
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  giving birth, from being, from being pregnant.
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  You absolutely can. So anybody out there who don't
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  think you should be celebrating on Mother's Day, fuck you.
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  That's crazy. That's crazy.
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  That's insane. You know what I mean?
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  Well, Lee, you pandering? Call me what?
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  Call me whatever the hell you want to call me, but I'm not an
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  evil bastard right here trying to hurt somebody's feelings on
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  Mother's Day because they haven't given birth yet.
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  That's stupid as hell. That's ridiculous.
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  You know, that's the mindset of some people.
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  Pregnancy is dangerous. It is.
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  It's tough. It's not easy.
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  Yeah, you can have good days, but you'll have some bad days,
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  too. So yeah, you should be
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  celebrating on Mother's Day. Ran over it.
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  Sorry, I'll get I'll get into it.
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  I want y'all to win and I want the fellas out there the the
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  other the fellas or the the other parent to celebrate you as
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  well. The stop being told that.
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  Damn, just crazy, man, That's crazy.
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  But ran over it. But yes, Mother's Day is not
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  going to be easy, especially if you are pregnant.
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  If you haven't given birth, they're going to pretend.
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  They're going to pretend like you don't matter like that that
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  baby bump or whatever. They're going to pretend like
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  you don't matter, especially if you're not even showing.
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  If you're not showing, if you're not showing, don't show up,
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  right. If you, if you're not showing,
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  don't show up on Mother's Day 'cause they're going to treat
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  you horribly. This is they're going to treat
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  you horribly anyway. But it is just, they just go
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  kind of kill you. Y'all not actually, you know,
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  kill you. I said kill you off.
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  But that's the thought process right there, y'all.
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  Some of them will not celebrate you on Mother's Day when you are
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  pregnant. But even if you have given birth
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  and this is your first Mother's Day, just buckle up, y'all
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  seriously? Because they're going to treat
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  you like crap. They are.
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  They're they're they're not going to acknowledge Mother's
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  Day for you. Your first Mother's Day, we got
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  a crying baby. They won't leave.
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  Look, they won't give you some free time.
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  Even if you're a stay at home parent and you want just a
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  little break, they're going to say Mother's Day should be spent
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  with the kids. Why the hell would you want to
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  break on Mother's Day? That's crazy.
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  That's horrible. You a horrible parent.
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  What kind of parent, what kind of real parent wants to spend
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  Mother's Day away from their kids?
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  You a horrible parent, You need a break.
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  Wow. Yeah.
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  I need a Yeah, I need a break. What are you talking about?
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  Yes, I would like a break. A little break.
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  Yes. Thank you.
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  Listen, yeah, I'm just telling you, it's the mindset of a lot
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  of narcissistic people. This is how a lot of narcissist
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  minds work. They will pretend or act like
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  you don't matter, like today doesn't matter.
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  Like Mother's Day is just another day that doesn't.
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  This should not matter. Like you're overreacting and
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  you're just going above me on for no reason.
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  Like, yeah, you're a mother, but you're not my mom.
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  That's what they'll eat you with.
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  You're not my mom, right? I didn't even get my Mama
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  nothing. So why would I get you
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  something? Well, could you have the kids,
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  like, draw me a gift, Drop me something?
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  Why would I help them do that? That's dumb.
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  They told you Happy Mother's Day.
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  Is it not enough? Yeah, I'm just talking.
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  Mother's Day can be very rough with narcissistic people.
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  Like if you do the first Mother's Day, just prepare.
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  Like if you're watching this video and you just gave birth
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  and you think you're going to get something on Mother's Day.
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  I could be wrong, y'all. Of course, I'm, I'm, I'm Look, I
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  could be wrong. Some of them might get you a
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  gift, right? Some of them might celebrate
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  you. Some of them might love bomb you
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  on Mother's Day. But a lot of times they're going
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  to use Mother's Day as a day to just perpetuate the cycle of
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  abuse. Just to abuse you in one way,
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  Just to abuse you in a certain way.
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  They're going to do this type of stuff, right?
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  And you have to prepare for it. As sorry as that sounds, as
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  sucky as that sounds, you're going to have to prepare for it
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  because they're going to make you feel like you just don't
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  deserve to be treated a certain type of way.
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  They're going to make you feel like you a piece of crap, right?
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  And this is the mentality of narcissistic people.
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  This is the mindset of narcissistic people.
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  They're going to try to treat you like crap and do this type
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  of stuff to you because it benefits them in the long run.
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  It really does. It benefits them in the long run
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  to treat you like crap to, to make you feel like crap and
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  whatnot, because they just, you know, they'll dangle a carrot
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  out there just to mess with your heads.
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  And I also say to this, y'all, even if this is not your first
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  Mother's Day, even if you are, well, let's say if you, if you a
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  Mother's Day veteran, you have multiple kids.
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  So this is not your first Mother's Day.
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  This is not your first Mother's Day rodeo, right?
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  Prep her anyway. Like if they look out, if you've
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  been a mother for 10 years, you've been, if you've been
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  dealing with this narcissistic person for 10 years and they've
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  never gotten you a gift before, they've never celebrated the
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  Mother's Day for you before. What are you telling yourself
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  right now to make you think that this year is going to be
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  different? What have they done or what
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  differences have they have you felt like they've made to show
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  you that something's going to be different, that something's
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  going to change, that somehow, some way, shape or form that
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  they're going to be better? What have you told yourself?
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  What did I seriously, what have you told yourself?
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  What have you said to yourself? What have you done for yourself?
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  Because that's absolutely important.
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  It really is. It's one of those things is it's
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  extremely important to understand, right?
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  Because what are you telling yourself right now?
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  Tell yourself the truth, learn that look, and this is not me
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  like y'all, you can do what you want to do of course, right?
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  You got to learn and sell everybody but yourself.
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  The fat look. Narcissistic people know it's
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  Mother's Day. Narcissistic men, women, whoever
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  it is, they know it's Mother's Day.
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  You're right. And yes, narcissistic women, if
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  you're in a a same sex relationship with a narcissistic
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  woman, they don't mean that they're going to treat you
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  better. The hell no women.
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  Yeah, women are abusive as hell as well.
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  What? Narcissistic women are abusive
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  and manipulative and horrible human beings too.
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  They can't absolutely be. So even if you were in a same
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  sex relationship with a narcissistic woman, she's going
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  to treat you horribly too. I'm not laughing at child, but
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  I'm telling you, it can get bad as well, Right.
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  So it kind of boils down to what are you telling yourself?
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  Learn how to celebrate it yourself, right?
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  Learn how to do things for yourself, because I guarantee
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  you they're going to. Yeah.
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  They have to try to ignore it. They know it.
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  Yeah, they know that it's Mother's Day.
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  They absolutely do. They know what today is.
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  They know today is Mother's Day. They absolutely know today is
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  Mother's Day like Sunday is Mother's Day.
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  They they absolutely know it's Mother's Day.
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  They have to try hard to ignore you.
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  They're doing it on purpose. They want a reaction from you.
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  They want you to be sad. They want you to be down.
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  Instead, take control of the day.
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  That's the most power that you could have.
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  If you don't want to leave, if you feel like he's stuck or
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  whatever the situation may be, take control of the day.
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  You know how it's going to be. Don't tell yourself the truth
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  that this year it's going to be the same as last year, It's
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  going to be the same as two years ago.
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  It's going to be the same as three years ago.
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  They're going to ruin it. They're going to try to make
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  your day hard. They're going to disappear.
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  They're going to start an argument out of nowhere.
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  They're going to leave you with the kids.
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  They're going to not get you a gift.
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  So you understand that. Control what you can't control.
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  What can you control in this situation?
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  What can you change in this situation?
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  How you act, how you react, what you decide to do.
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  Wake up with a smile on your face because you already know
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  what they're going to do. What are you telling yourself
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  they are going to be them? One thing is for certain that
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  they are going to be them, so you have to be you.
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  But what does you being you mean?
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  What does that mean to you? Seriously, what does that mean
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  to you? What?
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  What can you do right now to change the outcome?
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  But then I I'm telling you, I'm telling you straight up that
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  they're going to do something to make the day hard.
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  And you know, look, you going, you going to get to the you
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  going to get to the space where you going to laugh.
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  Y'all you going to laugh when you see them, right?
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  You going to laugh when you see them.
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  I promise you, you going to laugh when they start acting out
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  you like here you go here. That argument you like, damn it,
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  I knew it. I knew it because you are in
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  control. You are.
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  I don't care what they tell you, I don't care what they say.
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  You are absolutely in control of the situation.
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  You are absolutely in control of whatever you have going on.
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  You are absolutely in control. You really, really are.
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  So it's up to you to make those necessary moves in order to keep
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  moving forward. It's up to you to make the
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  necessary moves to in order to keep empowering yourself.
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  It's up to you. It really, really is, y'all.
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  It really, really is. So I know I got, I got myself
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  hyped, y'all, I know y'all. If y'all are not hyped, I don't
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  know what's wrong with you. I got hyped today.
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  This is it's Mother's Day. I'm hyped for y'all Mother's Day
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  because this year you're going to have a good Mother's Day with
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  or without their participation. They're going to leave you with
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  the kids. Go do some do something with the
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  kids or have a backup plan. Y'all have a backup plan.
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  Somebody else can watch the kids today.
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  Somebody else could watch the kids today.
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  Believe if I leave somebody, if I have somebody else watch the
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  kids today, they're going to call me a bad mom because I
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  should want to spend Mother's Day with the children, but I
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  spend every day with them. Who gives a fuck what they got
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  to say today? Today is your day.
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  They're going to do it anyway. This is one thing about
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  narcissist, They're going to do it anyway.
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  Regardless of whether or not you want them to do it, regardless
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  of whether or not you're pushing back on them, they are going to
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  do it anyway. So it's OK to choose you.
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  It's OK to choose happiness. It's OK to choose empowerment
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  this year. It's OK to take control of your
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  happiness this year on Mother's Day.
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  So happy Mother's Day to you and also y'all, but I'm going to put
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  it out there now. So if you want, like I said, in
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  all in honor of Mother's Day, y'all have my courses.
• 12:56
  I have my courses out how to heal from narcissistic abuse
• 12:59
  called finding your why. I also have another course
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  called understanding the seven stages of a narcissistic
• 13:05
  relationship. So for Mother's Day.
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  So for now, when this video post, I'll leave it up for a
• 13:10
  bottle about I'll do it for a month.
• 13:13
  Everybody now will see this video anyway.
• 13:14
  So intercode mothers MOTHERS mothers for half off of all the
• 13:21
  stuff on mental illness not mental illness.net for the
• 13:24
  courses and the video series on my website.
• 13:27
  Y'all so check why check out my courses and the the link is in
• 13:30
  the description of every video and podcast I do on my website
• 13:33
  mentalillness.net half off the courses.
• 13:36
  Just enter the code mothers MOTHERS mothers.
• 13:40
  Anyway y'all hit the subscribe button I'm out.
• 13:42
  Peace what up y'all what up? Before you leave make sure to
• 13:45
  hit that subscribe button if you haven't.
• 13:47
  It just helps us reach more people.
• 13:49
  Also everything I have is available at mentalillness.net,
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  my coaching, my courses. I have a couple of courses that
• 13:55
  can help you understand and help you heal and also have a support
• 13:58
  group all available at mentalillness.net.
• 14:01
  Check my site off everything y'all and I will see y'all
• 14:03
  later. Peace.