Latest / Brett Keane and Eve Show / Death of a Friend, Car Accident, Sick Child, Freezing Cold, Family Betrayal, Christian Satanist

Transcript

Death of a Friend, Car Accident, Sick Child, Freezing Cold, Family Betrayal, Christian Satanist · Brett Keane and Eve Show

0:25
I have a vision and I need your assistance, darling.
0:32
I see a future of perfection, sinners and shining.
0:38
I'm inviting you to taste how it could, because I know it's been
0:43
so long and together we can face the enemy.
0:48
Then you'll see you are so wrong.
0:54
I'll show you where to begin. Lay all your riches and stand at
0:59
the moon of the Godly Cross. Well, hello, ladies and
1:07
gentlemen. My name is Brett Keene and
1:08
you're watching and listening to the Brett Keene Show.
1:11
I hope you're all having a wonderful day out there.
1:16
On Monday and Friday, 7:00 PM Central, I'll be doing live
1:20
shows. You are all welcome to join me.
1:23
Everyone is included except for the usual riff raff.
1:27
You know who you are. All right, so.
1:33
I've been doing an international radio station for quite some
1:37
time and I noticed something. I noticed that whenever I do
1:41
live shows and then I post them on my international radio
1:45
station, they do pretty good. I get a lot of viewership, I get
1:49
a lot of stuff. And also, whenever I do videos,
1:55
the ones that seem to be the ones that get the most views,
1:59
even over the live shows of the ones where I share personal
2:03
stories about my life. It's interesting because it used
2:08
to be where if I made videos about theology or the concept of
2:12
God or any of that kind of stuff, that used to be up there
2:17
along with the live shows, but people aren't so interested in
2:21
God and theology so much anymore.
2:25
For some oddball reason, people love tuning in.
2:28
Whenever I'm talking about my life and some of the
2:33
accomplishments, as well as some of the disappointments or
2:37
tragedies that have happened in my existence, That's the stuff
2:41
that people like to hear. I don't know why.
2:47
I mean, I enjoy hearing about people's life, but I never
2:51
really thought growing up or going through my existence that
2:55
people would find my my life very compelling.
3:00
But apparently people do. I've unfortunately found out
3:05
something also that I thought was going to be good, but it's
3:09
turned out to not be as great as I thought it would be.
3:13
My radio station's gotten to the point where it's so popular and
3:17
I've got so many listeners that I was offered a deal.
3:22
And the deal was is that I no longer just pick out, like put
3:29
an ad here and there. But now advertising companies
3:33
are able to come in and put their ads anywhere they like.
3:37
And I'm supposed to get paid for this.
3:40
And I've been doing this for the past few months and I've noticed
3:44
that, well, they don't pay as much as what was originally put
3:50
forth. Let's just put it that way.
3:52
It seems like I'm making a little less than what I was
3:56
doing originally before I signed on with these advertising
4:00
companies. And the advertising companies.
4:04
They can choose if they want to actually put stuff along with
4:08
it. And another thing that I found
4:11
too is they don't mind putting their ads alongside my live
4:16
material. But anything having to do with
4:19
religion or whatever, they've decided that they don't want to
4:22
put anything on that. And unfortunately I don't have
4:26
the option of being able to change that around and put an ad
4:31
on there if I wanted to. So now I have to.
4:33
I'm at the mercy of the advertisers.
4:37
So I figured I would talk about some life stories and hopefully
4:42
they like that. I know my listeners do.
4:46
So we'll go with it. Let's see.
4:50
What shall we start with? Well, I guess we'll start with
4:54
what's going on nowadays, and then we'll work our way back
4:57
into the past. I thought it would be best to
5:00
start from the past and then work myself up.
5:04
In the last few months, as many of you know, my daughter went
5:08
into the hospital. She had to get surgery.
5:10
She was having seizures and falling unconscious and all
5:14
that, and she ended up having to be taken out of work for a
5:19
while, and that was a major concern.
5:23
We were, we knew pretty much what was going on.
5:28
We knew what we needed to take her to the hospital for.
5:31
She has a shunt and she had surgery done whenever she was a
5:35
baby, and we were told that at some point in time in her
5:38
adulthood that we would have to go get her another surgery
5:42
eventually, or if something went wrong during any of that time,
5:47
we would have to do that. So we get her up to the
5:51
hospital, a Children's Hospital basically, and she gets worked
5:55
on. She comes home, goes through the
5:58
recovery process, obviously can't work during this time, and
6:06
things got pretty tough because while she's recovering, our air
6:11
conditioning and heating system ended up going out and it's been
6:16
pretty damn chilly. Luckily we've got some heaters
6:20
that we were able to plug in and it's been fairly cozy, at least
6:26
in her room where I'm at. I'm kind of actually shivering
6:30
while I'm sitting here telling these stories about my life,
6:38
luckily. Luckily.
6:43
Well, I guess I'll tell you about the unfortunate thing
6:45
first and then I'll tell you what I got lucky in.
6:48
So, you know, that things kind of panned out a little bit
6:51
better. I ended up getting a hold of my
6:54
wealthy grandfather. He's the father of my mother who
6:59
committed suicide years back. As many of you know, I lost my
7:04
faith a long time ago because I lost my mother to suicide and
7:09
many Christians were can absolutely convinced that she
7:12
was going to burn in hell for committing the unforgivable
7:15
sudden. And that's what pushed me over
7:18
the edge. And also the fact that in the
7:20
same year that my mother died, my daughter was born with the
7:27
the issues that she had and I had to spend a lot of time in a
7:31
Children's Hospital listening to baby scream and cry and see my
7:35
own child tied up the tubes and equipment and all that.
7:42
Absolutely atrocious. One of the most terrible
7:46
experiences any parent can go through.
7:49
And on top of that, I had the medical field telling me that
7:53
she was most likely not going to make it.
7:56
Well, she's 20 years old now and she's been through the adult
7:59
surgery and she's back to work. It's just that we didn't have
8:04
the heating cooling thing. So I contacted my wealthy
8:08
Christian grandfather. This is a man who doesn't feel
8:17
the need or desire. Probably one of the reasons why
8:20
he's so successful in life is because he's always held things
8:24
close to his chest. Didn't like offering any kind of
8:28
charity or helping out in any kind of way.
8:32
Always had some kind of reason why he couldn't do things and
8:36
stuff. Although he believed that you
8:39
know, he was a good enough Christian to be able to go to
8:41
heaven A while back. He ended up getting a hold of me
8:47
after years of not seeing him and he asked me if I would like
8:51
to move into a a new residence, a place a new home providing
9:01
that I pay him so it's not like I was giving it free.
9:07
He claimed it was a part of my inheritance but it wasn't.
9:10
I actually had to pay him a a mortgage and also pay bills and
9:16
all that kind of stuff which was appreciated.
9:18
It was a lot better than what the hell me and my wife were
9:22
living in and what my kids were going through.
9:24
But you know it's it was something that where you were
9:29
basically told we got to pay and and we were told that if, you
9:33
know, we gotten doubter we stopped paying or something was
9:38
going on that he would treat us just like a a typical landlord,
9:43
we'd be out on our ass basically.
9:46
So we took a risk, we took the chance, we went in.
9:52
Unfortunately, the place that he sold us had a lot of problems
9:56
and had a lot of issues, and I think he knew that.
10:00
But I don't know, maybe I'd like to believe inside of my mind
10:06
that he had an interest in actually fixing some of the
10:11
stuff. One of those things being the
10:14
heating and air condition, but that I guess never flourish had
10:18
never happened. So we eventually, obviously
10:24
nowadays we're sitting here freezing our asses off, but
10:29
something really need happened. My wife, as many of you know,
10:36
she's all of her life, she's been in the same type of pool of
10:41
shit as myself whenever it comes to family.
10:44
I mean, I've always had my sister and brother whenever I
10:47
got time to actually see them. But she, her mother, she wasn't
10:53
having no relationship with her, rarely ever seen her father and
10:59
her family was a no show from the get go.
11:02
But lately she ended up running into, I guess, an aunt or
11:07
something and her husband. And these people are absolutely
11:14
sweethearts. They're wonderful.
11:17
They have a lot of problems of their own and they have some
11:19
serious health issues and most likely don't have that much time
11:25
in this world left. They don't seem like they're
11:28
heavily religious or anything like that.
11:31
They're just your average, typical older people who are
11:35
just trying to survive and make it.
11:38
But they ain't bad off either. They're not as wealthy and and
11:43
got as many blessings as my grandfather does.
11:46
But they have some things going for them and they, you know, my
11:53
wife went out to eat with them and everything and she told them
11:56
about what's going on because they asked you know, how's life
11:59
been. And you know, the wife basically
12:01
laid it out for him and they said, well, you know give us the
12:06
address and we'll call one of these companies and we'll take
12:10
care of it. And lo and behold, company comes
12:14
out, they fix the air condition, but they didn't have the parts
12:19
in order to be able to fix the heating part of it.
12:22
So we're having to wait until late until next week, probably
12:29
by Thursday or Friday of this of this week coming, we might have
12:35
our heating system. Well, we it's not a might.
12:39
It's really it's just a matter of the heating company getting
12:43
the parts and then coming out and get involved in doing all
12:47
that shit. But the fact is, ladies and
12:52
gentlemen, if it wasn't for my wife's people, I'd have been
12:57
fucked. I talked to my grandfather and
12:59
he literally, he literally tells me, well, Brett, that sounds
13:07
pretty rough. They're funny, boy.
13:09
You need to pray about it. Pray about it.
13:13
Does God hand out heating systems and air conditions?
13:16
I'm not really sure. He does.
13:20
Not to be hateful or cold blooded and and God knows I'm
13:24
not lying whenever I say this, but there's kids that are
13:28
freezing their ass off. There's babies that freeze to
13:31
death every fucking day in this world and God lets it happen.
13:35
He allows it. There's the children who are
13:39
molested on a repeated basis throughout this world, whether
13:43
it's done by a religious fucking poser or an atheist.
13:47
So, I mean, if that kind of shit is allowed to happen, what makes
13:51
me think at 50 years old almost, that God's going to, you know,
13:58
stop being busy with his scheduled universe to do
14:02
anything for my ass? So, I mean, that's usually the
14:06
way I think about it. I don't think that.
14:11
I guess I've never really believed that there.
14:14
I believe that God is real, but I don't have this genie in the
14:19
lamp idea of God that a lot of Christians do out there where
14:24
they believe if you just get on your little hands and knees and
14:27
put your mittens together alongside your bed that it's
14:31
just going to work itself out. I I'm a real strong believer and
14:35
believing that if you want to get anything done, then you got
14:39
to do it yourself. That God gave you the arms and
14:41
the legs and the physical body and the mind to be able to do
14:45
it. If you're that lucky.
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Obviously there's people out there that don't have fucking
14:50
arms. They don't have legs and some
14:52
people don't have the mental state to be able to work their
14:55
way around fucking toilet paper. So it is what it is.
15:03
But I literally, I took great offense to my grandfather just
15:08
being like, pray for, you know, pray, pray, pray you've got the,
15:16
you've got the funds, you've got the money, you've got the way to
15:19
help. I don't feel like he's obligated
15:22
or anything like that. I don't feel like anybody's
15:24
obligated to do shit. But when you're freezing to
15:27
death, when you're fucking miserable and you see somebody
15:32
standing on the shore doing just fine for themselves, and they've
15:35
got plenty of life jackets laying around and you know, the
15:39
little inner tubes and they refuse to fucking help you out
15:42
and just scream out at you. Just pray there, buddy.
15:46
It really, it does feel like somebody's kicking you while
15:49
they're down. I wonder if Christians realize
15:52
that when you see somebody that's hard on their luck and
15:56
you just tell them to pray about it when you know damn well that
16:00
you wouldn't have made it as far as you did if somebody didn't
16:03
come along and help you along the way.
16:06
That's how people survive in the world.
16:08
Their families help them and their friends help them and show
16:11
like that you don't. Sometimes you find yourself in
16:15
such a rotten ass position. You require help from other
16:20
people and. It is what it is, you know.
16:28
I'm mixed. I got to be honest.
16:30
I'm extremely fucking offended. I'm extremely aggravated and it
16:34
reminds me of the times whenever my mother was alive and she was
16:38
having a hard time and she used to ask her father for help or
16:42
ask other family members and they would basically give her
16:45
the fucking story or the bullshit.
16:48
It's probably one of the reasons why it led me to believing that
16:52
maybe God don't care so much, or maybe God just simply isn't
16:55
real. So yeah, so we'll eventually get
17:02
our heating system fixed. I got this little black machine
17:06
sitting up on my dresser right now that's every once in a while
17:10
blowing out some warm air, keeping me from completely
17:13
getting hyperthermia. You know, I can't believe I'm
17:18
almost 50 years old and sitting here having to go through an
17:22
incident like this. Usually when people are around
17:25
this age, you would think that every your shit would be gotten
17:29
together, things would be more stable and you know you wouldn't
17:33
have to worry about the the little fucking dumb things in
17:36
life. But that's that is life.
17:39
It throws you a curve and it doesn't give a fuck if you're 80
17:42
years old or or fucking 5. It is what it is.
17:48
Well, I guess we'll talk about some.
17:54
Stories. You know, Speaking of one of the
18:01
things I've learned about some Christians out there as well as
18:07
the other people in the world, because there really is, there's
18:11
a differentiation between Christians and what you expect
18:15
from Christians and then what you get out of strangers that
18:19
aren't religious at all or they're not churchgoers.
18:24
I remember whenever I was a young man before becoming a
18:28
former atheist, I ended up, I was just starting to get to a
18:33
point I think I was between 1518 years old or something.
18:39
I'm not really. It was so far back that it's
18:43
hard to be able to remember. I just remember the experience.
18:46
I don't quite remember the time frame, so you'll have to forgive
18:49
me on that. But I remember that I was
18:53
getting out of church and it was raining real fucking hard.
18:58
It was kind of one of those rains where it would rain real
19:01
heavy and then light and then heavy again and all this shit.
19:05
And I at the time, my agoraphobia hadn't completely
19:09
taken over. For those out there, you don't
19:12
know what agoraphobia is. There's two versions of it.
19:15
There's one where people don't like to be in crowds.
19:19
That's not my version. And then there's a second where
19:22
people have an issue with open areas, where your equilibrium
19:27
goes off and you start getting anxiety because it feels like
19:30
the world's turning upside down on you.
19:32
That's my version of agoraphobia that I have.
19:35
There's two spectrums of it, and usually it's initiated through
19:39
depression and tragedy and and shit like that.
19:44
There's a lot of people out there who've been abused as
19:47
children who have the same form of agoraphobia as I do, where
19:52
it's hard for them to go outside their home and go out in the
19:56
public and shit like that. It's not so much going out in
19:59
the like a store or going out to eat that's the problem.
20:05
It's like taking a main highway or someplace that's real open,
20:09
or where there's a lot of fucking fields like Utah.
20:14
And some of these open plain areas is just too much, where it
20:18
looks like the ocean and the sky and the land goes on as far as
20:23
the eye can see, and there's nothing to grab on to.
20:28
My equilibrium provide requires some kind of psychological
20:33
balance, and you can't get it whenever you're out in the
20:37
field. It makes you feel like you're on
20:39
a roller coaster ride. To give you an explanation at
20:43
this point, though, the agoraphobia hadn't completely
20:46
set in. It usually doesn't set in until
20:49
people are in their late 20s and 30s and shit like that.
20:55
So at this point, I was still able to drive a lot.
20:59
I was able to go to church back and forth, and I remember I was
21:04
pulling out and I got out on the highway and just as I pulled out
21:09
of the parking lot and aren't to the stretch of the highway, the
21:12
vehicle broke down. It was old, it was shitty.
21:17
I was using that vehicle to get to work and I was also using the
21:20
fucking vehicle to go to church and unfortunately it died.
21:26
And I'm not like my father or my brother.
21:28
I don't know shit about mechanic work.
21:31
I mean, if you were to point at something, I might be able to
21:34
tell you like, ah, that's the fucking engine, that's the
21:37
motor. Time to change the oil or put
21:40
some new fluids. And.
21:41
But if something serious happened, I wouldn't know Dick
21:45
on what to do. Fucking horrific.
21:48
So the vehicle breaks down and I remember getting out of the
21:54
vehicle, opening the hood and trying to look in there and the
21:59
rain starts hitting me heavy and I cannot figure out for life me
22:05
what the fuck's wrong with it. But what I can see is that
22:08
there's repeatedly other people driving out of the church and
22:13
they're driving right past me like I'm not even there.
22:17
None of them interacted with me while I was actually going to
22:20
church. Anyway, There were a couple
22:24
people when I first started going, where they shook my hand
22:27
and all that. But I usually sat in the back
22:30
and just listened to the sermons and minded my own business.
22:34
Sometimes would bring some coffee in and just sit there and
22:37
drink and listen to what the preacher had to say.
22:41
And it was interesting, because I remember that fucking day what
22:45
the sermon was about. It was about doing unto others
22:48
as you went down unto you, helping people, helping, being
22:51
there for your family, and that we need to unite in order to be
22:56
like a part of Christ's body, that his temple and that we're
23:02
stronger when we work together. And it was a really beautiful
23:06
sermon. But while I was standing there
23:09
in the fucking rain, Christians were driving past me like I
23:13
wasn't even there. They knew that I pulled out of
23:17
the parking lot. They could see that my hood was
23:20
up and there was shit coming out of the vehicle.
23:22
But they just drove past me. So interestingly enough, about
23:30
30 minutes go by and I'm looking over at that parking lot and at
23:35
this point, it's fucking empty. There's nobody, nobody there
23:40
anymore. They've all left and they all
23:42
drove past me. They had to drive past me in
23:45
order to get on the fucking highway and go where they were.
23:50
There was no way you could miss me because I was just literally
23:54
less than 30 feet away from the pull out area onto the highway
23:59
from where the church was. You had to drive past me in
24:02
order to get out of it. Not one of them stopped and
24:06
asked me if I was going to be all right or if I needed
24:09
anything. Nothing.
24:11
And I remember looking at that empty parking lot and thinking,
24:15
wow, God, that's fucking beautiful.
24:19
That's fucking awesome. I started laughing hysterically.
24:23
I'm like, that's fucking bullshit.
24:27
That's crazy. You all, you bastard.
24:29
You just drove right past me like I wasn't even there.
24:33
And then about, I'd say 1530 minutes in this guy who drives
24:41
up in like a hoopie, so fucking his vehicle didn't look any
24:46
prettier than my own. And he comes up and I look in
24:50
the window and shit. He rolls it down, he goes, hey
24:52
man, you need a fucking ride. And I look at him and he's got
24:58
like one of these big ZZ Top beards.
25:00
He's got these round glasses, sunglasses and he's got this
25:04
fucking guns and roses, bandana iron and shit and this fucking
25:09
woolly like sheep Gray hair. He looked like a he looked like
25:14
a how how atheists like to describe a sky daddy.
25:18
You know this old man who lives in the sky and shit.
25:23
He looked all old, but he looked like a rocker.
25:27
Kind of like half biker, half hippie and shit like that.
25:31
He's the guy mine. You want to fucking ride?
25:34
You know he didn't didn't like finish the vowels are the the
25:39
letters. Whenever he spoke oh fuck, awry.
25:43
I was like, hey man, yeah. And I said how far are you
25:48
going? He goes, oh man, you just tell
25:50
me where you got to go and I take you there just tell me what
25:55
you got to do you know. So I got in the vehicle, he's
26:03
got some trash on the floor and shit.
26:05
It's rough looking in the fucking carriage.
26:08
But, you know, the guy's like, he goes, all right, so I tell
26:15
him where I'm wanting to go and he goes, I'll, I'll get you
26:18
where you got to go. And he turns up the stereo
26:21
system and I'm listening to the band deal right off the bat.
26:29
There's no way that you can't. If you've heard the music once,
26:33
you can't forget Deal. And the song was Rainbow in the
26:37
Dark. It's a Rainbow in the Dark and
26:43
I'm listening to Heavy Metal and Shit, which the preacher told me
26:47
I ought to stay away from listening to Heavy metal.
26:51
This guy took me all the way home and dropped me off.
26:57
It was so weird because he didn't show no signs of
27:01
Christianity. He didn't know there wasn't.
27:05
No. It was so, so different from
27:10
when you're in church because everybody's wearing a suit,
27:13
everybody's all dressed up nice. I was probably the only person
27:17
in the church that wasn't dressed up in a suit and all
27:21
this. I was wearing like some baggy
27:24
ass fucking Levi jeans and some sneakers that looked really worn
27:31
the fuck out. A shirt that had some paint
27:35
drops on it. White paint look like a a
27:39
fucking bird. Took a shit all over me.
27:44
And my hair was, I think it was pretty long back then, so I
27:50
guess I didn't look like I fit in.
27:53
Maybe I didn't. Maybe that's one of the reasons
27:57
why. Some religious people didn't
27:59
want to be around me because I look like a like a fucking head
28:03
banger. So I didn't have the image, the
28:06
look, you know, the sound, the feel.
28:12
And if I remember correctly, I wasn't shaved.
28:15
Very well either. Now, I hadn't got me any of that
28:20
face cream, so I can shave for a while and I just kind of let it
28:25
down, let things go, look like a young headbanger.
28:30
But that guy didn't care. He looked like a headbanger
28:33
himself. So he picked me up and we went
28:36
on our way. It's really important to
28:39
Christians that you have a certain image.
28:42
If you don't talk like them, if you cuss, are you, you haven't
28:48
had a, like a really clean life. A lot of the clean type of
28:51
Christians, they won't hang out with you, They won't chill with
28:54
you. They'll judge you and they'll
28:57
condemn you, but they won't, and they'll find every reason in the
29:01
world why they shouldn't hang out with you.
29:03
And it always reminded me of the story of Peter and the
29:10
disciples. When they're with Jesus, Jesus
29:12
goes into that tent with those, with the tax collector and the
29:17
prostitutes and all that. Jesus had this thing where he
29:21
kept on wanting to hang out with sinners, He said.
29:23
I came for the sick. I didn't comfort those who were
29:27
who were in a good condition or whatever.
29:29
What's the point? You know?
29:30
It's like a doctor. Why are you going to work on
29:32
people who are OK? You're going to work on people
29:35
who have problems. And the disciples would argue
29:39
with him about what are you doing.
29:41
Jesus, you know, Don't you realize this person's this way
29:44
and this way? You know, we need this and we
29:48
need that, you know, I don't know.
29:52
I always felt like that was a little smug of the disciples.
29:56
Constantly questioning Jesus about what he was going to,
30:01
where he was hanging out, what he was doing, who he wanted to
30:04
talk to. They didn't like it very much
30:11
whenever he hung out with Gentiles either, or interacted
30:14
with them. Something about crumbs on the
30:18
floor and even the dog and the master, all that good shit if I
30:22
remember correctly. So yeah, it was.
30:27
It's kind of a hobo type of guy that ended up picking me up and
30:31
I really appreciated it took care of me.
30:37
I could have been out there all damn day, all fucking night,
30:40
maybe. All right.
30:45
So I guess we can move on to some other stories.
30:54
So. Back around that time, now that
30:59
I didn't have a vehicle, I was going out with a girl named
31:03
Susan. This was before I met my wife.
31:06
I didn't have sex with her or anything like that.
31:09
It was just so woman that was around my age.
31:13
I think she was a couple years older than me actually.
31:16
I think she was about 1920 years old and it's still around this
31:20
time period. And I told her I don't know how
31:24
I'm going to get to work. I don't know how I'm going to be
31:26
able to get anything done now that you know the vehicle's
31:30
fucked up and I don't know when I'm going to be able to get
31:33
around by getting it repaired. And she said, well, I will have.
31:40
I will talk to my mother and see if we can work something out.
31:45
Susan was a real sweetheart. She was really, really good.
31:49
But she wasn't really dating material.
31:52
She was more of a just a girl who liked me.
31:55
I liked her. I found her attractive and she
31:58
found me attractive, but we were more like friends and actually
32:02
having any kind of romantic relationship.
32:05
What the fuck did we know about romance anyway?
32:08
I sure didn't. I was just a kid basically just
32:11
trying to get by. So I didn't know much about her
32:16
mother. I didn't know what type of
32:18
person her mother was, but her mother turned out to be an
32:21
alcoholic. Not the kind of alcoholic that,
32:27
you know, comes in at 3:00 in the morning.
32:29
Beats the shit out of her daughter kind of thing.
32:33
Her and Susan got along just fine.
32:36
I found out, But her mother would make some really shitty
32:40
decisions, and one of those things was drinking and driving.
32:45
And this was what was offered to me.
32:48
If I want to get to work, then I got to get basically get in the
32:51
passenger seat or the back seat of this car in order to get to
32:56
work, in order to make money, to be able to help my sick mother
33:00
pay bills. So I found myself in a pretty
33:04
fucked up position. None of my religious family
33:06
members were going to get me to work.
33:09
Nobody was going to help me fix the vehicle, and I really didn't
33:13
want to be in the vehicle with a drunk driver, but I did.
33:18
I had to do something in order to make money, and my mother was
33:23
so sick that she would have. She never got around to telling
33:27
me this is a bad idea or terrible.
33:29
I kind of sensed it was. So you all at this point are
33:33
probably realizing, no, Brett, something fucked up happened
33:37
that night. It did.
33:39
It did, as it eventually will always happen if you get in the
33:43
vehicle with a drug addict or an alcoholic.
33:47
So I got in with her and several times we made it just fine.
33:52
We hit a couple curves, had a sign or two.
33:57
But I always managed to get our work, get to work and save up
34:01
money and all that. And I'd have to pay this woman
34:04
gas and all that. No problem.
34:09
But there was one time where I had to stay over and the woman
34:14
basically stayed out in the parking lot waiting for me, and
34:17
apparently she had brought alcohol with her and she was
34:20
drinking her ass off. So about two hours go by, she's
34:24
waiting for me out there in the heat and I'm finally let go.
34:31
It's finally time to leave the job.
34:35
I get in the vehicle and it's starting to get dark now.
34:41
Usually we drove during the day, so now we've got an alcoholic
34:45
woman who's drunk, who's now going to be driving at night
34:48
time. And for some reason this woman
34:51
felt like this. She was so fucking drunk she
34:54
decided she wanted to take a back.
34:55
Rd. Instead of the main roads that
34:58
we usually took because she felt like she was so fucked up that
35:02
she could not take the main roads and she didn't want to get
35:06
pulled over by cops. So she takes me out on the out
35:14
on this back Rd. and she starts driving really fast.
35:18
She wanted to. She said that the reason why
35:21
she's driving fast is because she wanted to get through this
35:26
ordeal as quickly as possible before cops see her.
35:35
So I was like, all right, but she kept on going faster and
35:38
faster and then we ended up taking another Rd.
35:42
But now that road didn't have. It wasn't made out of asphalt or
35:46
concrete anymore. It was now.
35:49
We were on gravel and she was flying.
35:51
On that road, sadly, the vehicle as it's tearing through the
36:01
gravel, she ends up taking a swift left on a curve that
36:07
almost seems like a corner. And we went barreling off of an
36:12
embankment and the car flipped several times and we ended up
36:19
going basically the roof into a Creek where the water was about,
36:24
I don't know, maybe two or three feet is shut.
36:27
So now we got water filling up in the car.
36:31
Luckily the windows were open and shut.
36:34
There was a lot of pressure. Unfortunately, even though it
36:38
wasn't like a river or something, it was still enough
36:41
to cause the vehicle to move around a little bit in the
36:44
water, and I was curious about how the fuck I was going to get
36:51
out because the roof was caved in, so there was very barely any
36:56
kind of space to be able to get under there.
37:00
Even though, lucky for me, whenever I was younger, I was a
37:04
lot more slimmer. I was thinner, so I managed to
37:08
after a little while. I remember hearing these
37:12
instructions from somebody, I don't remember who, but they
37:15
said that you got to kind of wait until the vehicle fills up
37:18
with water before you try to get out, 'cause if you try getting
37:22
out while the water's coming in, it'll just push you back into
37:25
the vehicle. So I had to sit there calmly and
37:29
do my thing so the water fills in.
37:32
It's freezing fucking cold and I ended up finally going
37:37
underwater and it took me a few times because it was really dark
37:42
and said there was still some light from the headlights.
37:48
It was like one of the headlights was still working so
37:50
you could see kind of this fog light effect in the water, but
37:55
it was still scary dark water. I wasn't sure if the bitch was
37:59
dead or not. I didn't know if I was sharing
38:03
the vehicle with a dead woman. So I crawled out.
38:09
Finally, I'm soaking wet and I make myself up onto the land,
38:15
which is completely covered in mud and broken sticks and shit
38:19
like that from the. Vehicle smashing everything.
38:23
And I look back and I see the water kind of coming up a little
38:29
bit more and I'm thinking to myself, oh shit, this woman's
38:33
probably dead or knocked the fuck out or drowning as we
38:37
speak. So I went back to the her door
38:41
and I ended up yanking on it and I guess her door was so fucking
38:46
broke and so messed up from the accident.
38:49
That it was Luke's. And I was able to actually yank
38:52
it off. The water hadn't come so high
38:55
that it covered her door, so the door was loose and I was able to
38:59
literally yank it and it kind of fell off to the side.
39:03
It was still hanging on by some metal, but it was like hanging
39:06
to the side and she's hanging upside down in the in her
39:12
driver's side. Luckily for her, she was at
39:15
least intelligent enough to have a seat belt.
39:17
Darn, I didn't. But she did and she survived the
39:22
wreck. But she was fucked up not just
39:26
by being drunk but also from the car accident.
39:29
Looked like she slid her leg wide open.
39:32
I don't know if some glass came down or something and cut her
39:35
leg, but I found myself in a pretty rough, fast position
39:41
because in order to get her out of the vehicle I would have to
39:45
squat down, I'd have to unseat belt her, and then I would have
39:50
to have my arms under her somehow at the same time.
39:53
To try to carry her, but she was a a full grown woman and I'm a
39:58
thin young man so I wasn't sure if I can carry your fucking
40:03
weight or not, but. I went ahead and figured I'd
40:07
better do something because her the water's filling up and it's
40:11
going to end up going over her head and she won't be able to do
40:14
anything about it. So eventually I pulled the seat
40:18
belt. She came crashing down into my
40:21
fucking arms, but I blocked. Her so her head wouldn't like to
40:25
slam right off the fucking smashed and roof and I pulled
40:31
her out. It was more of a kind of a drag
40:35
type of deal as opposed to a carry.
40:37
I did eventually get her up on her, get her up in like a
40:42
bending position, and then I realized that she wasn't able to
40:45
walk because her leg was messed up.
40:47
And I put my arms under her legs and then one under her back and
40:53
the back of her neck. And I carried her and I had to
40:56
bring her uphill onto the road. And that, ladies and gentlemen,
41:01
was a nightmare because this was a back Rd. where there wasn't
41:05
very many homes or houses or anything like that.
41:09
It took a great deal of time for us to find somebody that was
41:13
willing to help us. We had to knock on the door, but
41:17
I could swear we were out there for a few hours before we were
41:21
able to find anybody. Luckily she wasn't more fucked
41:24
up than what she was. She was bleeding pretty bad, but
41:30
I think that she made a tourniquet out of a piece of her
41:33
shirt or something. She tied it around her leg.
41:38
But after that event I decided, fuck that, I'm never going to
41:41
get into a vehicle with a drunk driver again.
41:44
I am never going to get in the vehicle with people who do drugs
41:48
or alcohol. This is ridiculous.
41:51
And eventually I would end up losing the fucking job because
41:54
she didn't have a car anymore and my car was fucked.
41:57
So that was that. Ironically, a couple years
42:06
later, I ended up getting a phone call while I was hanging
42:11
out with my sick mother. I got a phone call and I was
42:16
told by my friend's family. I have a friend named Mark
42:20
Felton. They told me that he was on his
42:24
way to college and he was had his pregnant girlfriend with him
42:29
and while they were heading to college, some bastard apparently
42:33
that was at Waffle House just down the road had been drinking
42:37
and driving and ended up smashing.
42:41
Into my friend and my friend went down an embankment, but
42:45
unfortunately he wasn't wearing a seat belt.
42:48
And they said they, the family basically told me that he was
42:52
thrown from the vehicle and the vehicle rolled over my friend
42:55
and literally smashed him into the fucking ground, killing him
42:59
almost instantly. Just a couple years after my
43:05
event with a drunk driver. This happened to my friend Mark.
43:12
Mark was a friend that I grew up with.
43:14
I literally, whenever I was a baby, they used to put me in a
43:18
crib with him. We used to.
43:20
I remember when we were real little and we'd play with toys
43:24
and hang out together. And I remember when we first
43:27
started going to school together, it was so interesting
43:32
because at this time I literally felt like my life was over.
43:37
I didn't have a car, I didn't have shit to my name, and my
43:42
friend Mark was doing things with his life.
43:44
He literally had dreams about what he wanted to do.
43:48
He was already building a family, had a girl that's
43:51
pregnant. She survived and so did the
43:53
baby. But he didn't never even got to
43:57
see his baby. And I remember thinking, wow,
44:01
that's fucked up. Why didn't God kill me?
44:05
I didn't have a job. I didn't have a life.
44:09
I was fucking screwed, you know? There was nothing going for me
44:14
whatsoever. Why would God take him who's
44:19
going to college and then let me fucking exist?
44:23
I wasn't even interested in returning back to school at that
44:26
point. Really didn't want to have
44:30
anything to do with any of that bullshit.
44:33
But he goes, he gets taken out of this.
44:37
World. I've never been able to make
44:41
sense of that you know. Now I can hindsight's 2020.
44:47
I can look back and say, all right, I've got two beautiful
44:51
children and I ended up meeting this woman of my dreams that
44:55
would become my wife whom I've been married to and I've had
44:59
several anniversaries with and and life has gotten better in
45:04
many, many ways. But my friend, he was extremely.
45:09
Intelligent. He had a lot of shit going for
45:12
him. I feel like he would have
45:14
probably done a lot more with his life than me, who I do
45:20
graphic design, I write some books and I do live shows with
45:24
people. But he had so many high
45:28
aspirations of what he wanted to do with his life and I think he
45:33
would have made a great father. He loved kids, he loved his
45:37
woman. It would have been a great
45:40
family, man. Just, I don't know.
45:46
At that time I'd. I didn't feel like the church
45:48
wanted me. I didn't feel like I had a
45:51
friend in the world, a real friend, except for him.
45:56
But he's the one that had to be taken.
46:01
And you know what? Everybody liked him too.
46:04
Everybody loved Mark. Everybody knew that he was
46:09
fucking talented. He was skilled.
46:12
He was the sweetest person that you could ever meet.
46:17
When we got older, he was basically like a rock star.
46:22
He was one of the best looking men that you could ever look
46:25
upon. I'm not gay or anything, but he
46:27
was good looking. He was smart, he was articulate.
46:33
And here I am. I'm a fucking bum.
46:36
I ain't got shit going for me. Why him?
46:40
But not me? What a weird, what a weird
46:44
world. What a weird fucking ordeal.
46:53
Not even a chance to be able to see his kid be born.
46:58
I suppose that's one of the things too, that affected me,
47:02
where I just kept on questioning, that I kept on
47:05
saying if there's a God, why don't you just take out the
47:09
losers in the world? Why don't you take out me?
47:12
Why get rid of the good guy and keep this this young smuck who
47:19
can barely shave his face sometimes around?
47:27
I still, to be honest with you, I still don't have the answer to
47:31
that question. You know, a lot of atheists out
47:34
there, they like to say that religious people have all the
47:36
answers. I don't.
47:39
There's a lot of fucking things I don't understand about this
47:42
world. There's a lot of things that are
47:44
still a mystery to me that I don't get.
47:49
I don't understand why people try so hard to humiliate and
47:57
hurt other people, why some people prey upon other people.
48:02
Or why it's so important for some people to dwelled into
48:07
other people's flaws or mistakes and then hold it over their
48:11
fucking head and say look at your sins, look at your sins.
48:15
Aren't you a shitty person when the whole time they're the worst
48:20
fucking person that you would ever even encounter of that?
48:23
That's another thing that I've never understood too.
48:27
Why is it that there's all these fruit sniffers, all these sin
48:30
sniffers, these people who are so quick to condemn and judge
48:35
when they're the most rottenest fucking people on the planet?
48:39
Does it validate them? Does it make them feel good
48:41
about themselves to know that people who are trying to do good
48:47
sometimes fail? Is is that the how that works?
48:51
I don't know. Yeah.
49:01
So I mean, since we're talking about car accidents and
49:05
tragedies and all that, I guess I'll tell you guys about one
49:08
more car accident that I was in. I was probably between 17 and 19
49:19
towards my 20s. That's when the agoraphobia
49:22
finally started kicking in. And I think the last straw was
49:25
what happened to me down in Florida.
49:27
Yeah, folks, I ended up I was living in Missouri.
49:31
I grew up in the city of Saint Louis and then ended up moving
49:34
out in the country. And then at some point in time,
49:38
I decided that with my wife, she wasn't my wife at this point,
49:45
that we were going to go down to Florida and we get down to
49:50
Florida. And that's where my dad lived.
49:53
And I thought that I might be able to piece together a
49:55
relationship with him. I failed.
49:58
I wasn't able to build a relationship with him.
50:01
He lived down the road, but he didn't really want to do the
50:05
father son thing. He'd kind of made-up his mind
50:08
that he didn't have kids. And then eventually he got stuck
50:13
with my brother and sister whenever my mother wasn't able
50:18
to do anything anymore. And he did not enjoy that.
50:22
He didn't enjoy doing the dad. Role at all?
50:26
But he was the only one there. And I suppose I think he took my
50:30
brother and sister in because he didn't want to pay the state or
50:33
the government any kind of child support or any kind of money
50:37
whatsoever towards the state to take care of them because he
50:41
figured it'd be cheaper to do it this way.
50:44
So he took my brother and sister, and I'm staying down in
50:47
Florida and they were miserable. I was fucking miserable and I
50:55
remember my brother calling me at school one time.
50:57
He calls me up and says, hey bro, he goes, I missed the bus.
51:02
Can you come pick me up? So me and my wife Don at this
51:08
point down in Florida. We did eventually get married
51:11
and she was pregnant with my first child and we ended up
51:14
getting into I was driving a 74 Lincoln.
51:19
I think it. Had like a four 2480 motor or
51:22
some shit like that big fucking tank of a vehicle.
51:26
Huge fucking car. Unfortunately the air
51:31
conditioning system did not work and our windows didn't roll down
51:34
because they were electric and they were blown out from some
51:37
kind of fuse. That's probably why I got the
51:40
vehicle so fucking cheap. I think I got that shit.
51:42
For under a. $1000 but it was a fucking machine boy, a tank.
51:51
So I go to pick him up, and apparently there was more to it.
52:00
Apparently he didn't just miss the bus.
52:02
Apparently my brother got himself suspended from school
52:05
from getting into a fight with some people, but he didn't tell
52:09
me that until way later. So we're driving down the road,
52:13
We're heading back. I'm heading back to drop him off
52:15
to Dad's house. And just as we're getting down
52:21
to an intersection, this little old lady pulls her car out when
52:28
I'm about like 30 feet away. And when you're in a big old
52:33
tank like a Lincoln, it's extremely hard to stop that
52:37
vehicle. The older vehicles, they didn't
52:40
always stop. You know, the moment you hit the
52:43
brakes, like a lot of these vehicles nowadays, these foreign
52:46
vehicles where they're just, you hit the brake and it's like
52:49
instance, not the older cars, not Chevys and Lincolns, those
52:54
motherfuckers, They would still go for a little bit and they
52:58
were terrible in the snow. So she pulls out, and I realized
53:07
within that moment that if I didn't do something, I was going
53:14
to drive right through her little.
53:15
Tiny ass car and I would kill this old lady.
53:19
Not intentionally, obviously, but the vehicle was so big and
53:23
her car was so small that I knew that if I kept on going straight
53:28
it was going to smack. Her.
53:31
But they were like crop fields on each side with a like a ditch
53:37
in between. It was like a a little tiny kind
53:42
of ditch where it would be very painful.
53:45
I got a pregnant wife and I'm thinking, what do I do?
53:49
Do I hit the fucking car or do I swerve off and then put my wife
53:55
and my brother in danger? So with quick thinking, I ended
54:01
up turning the steering wheel real hard and my vehicle turned
54:06
sideways and I kind of smacked the bitch's car with my Lincoln.
54:11
I don't hit it front arm, but it turned sideways kind of.
54:18
And it it pushes her car several feet.
54:21
It like smacks her, but it kind of lowered the whiplash.
54:26
My brother's face smacked up against the back window but it
54:31
didn't break it and my wife got jerked a little bit but she was
54:36
fine. And my brother, he had a sore
54:39
jaw but he was OK and this is fucking amazing.
54:44
I get out of the vehicle to see if this old lady's all right and
54:49
she's like, where'd you learn how to drive, young man?
54:56
And I'm like, bitch, you fucking pulled out, right?
55:00
Whenever I have the right away, I'm going and you pull out, you
55:05
know, just literally feet from where I'm at.
55:11
Well, people witnessed it. People that were driving behind
55:16
and coming forward, they seen what happened And the insurance
55:19
companies, they agreed that. This little old lady shouldn't
55:23
even be driving. I don't even think she had
55:25
insurance, and because she didn't have insurance, something
55:35
cute happened. Because the vehicle I was
55:40
driving was a fucking old antique car.
55:43
In 1974, no one was willing to give me the money to repair my
55:49
fucking car. They were willing to give me a
55:53
couple 100 bucks and shit, but her insurance wasn't going to
55:58
cover the Dick. I had full insurance and shit,
56:03
but my insurance didn't want to do anything with it because it
56:06
was an old fucking car. I might as well been driving a
56:09
fucking dune buggy or a fucking tractor or something because
56:13
they didn't want to do shit. They're like, that's a piece of
56:15
shit. Put it away.
56:17
It wasn't a piece of shit though, man.
56:21
If that car would have been fixed up, if that Lincoln would
56:23
have been fixed up, it would have been quite the fucking
56:26
heart throbbing machine. Big fucking beast.
56:31
That's what we called it sometimes.
56:33
The Beast. Oh Oh yes.
56:39
But yeah, that could have turned into a shit sandwich without the
56:43
bread. Well, I hope the people on the
56:48
radio enjoyed this, the stories and stuff about personal things
56:57
that have happened in my life, some of the experiences and
57:00
maybe some people will further understand me more.
57:04
I still to this day get a lot of religious people that say,
57:07
Brett, you still seem like you have your doubts.
57:10
You still seem this way. I've even had some people say,
57:15
you know, you're hanging out with that Lucifer fella.
57:18
Have you become a Satanist now? You know, I'm going to be honest
57:23
with you about something, folks. And I think it's kind of funny.
57:28
I actually mentioned this to my friend Lucifer.
57:31
But in a way I guess you could say I'm a Satanist.
57:36
And the reason why I say that is because I believe in Jesus and I
57:41
believe in God and I'm labeled a Christian, even though I'd
57:45
rather my preference is just to be called a theist.
57:50
I do believe in Satan. I don't worship Satan.
57:53
I don't respect some of the atrocities that have happened by
57:58
Satan or God, but being that I do believe that Satan is real,
58:05
I'm pretty much in the same department as a Satanist, ain't
58:11
I? I mean, if you think about it,
58:12
technically I do believe the Devil's real.
58:16
I believe God is real. I believe God created the
58:18
universe and the devil's a fallen Angel.
58:21
So I guess if people want to call me a Christian Satanist, if
58:25
it makes you feel good throwing labels on people, then so be it.
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I just know one thing. I know that whenever I need
58:35
somebody to talk to, it's like I can call up the my Satanist
58:40
friends and they'll ask me how my day was or how things are and
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shit like that. They'll actually be concerned.
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My buddy, whenever I was sick and he knew I was sick, he
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actually him and his wife, who who's also a Satanist, tried to
58:58
advise me on all these different concoctions I can take in order
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to fix my throat and my sick stomach and all that.
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And whenever my heating machine went down, they told me all
59:11
kinds of different ways that I can cover the doors and do this
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and that in order to keep warmth in the house and all that.
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All my Christian friends knew that I was freezing my ass off
59:25
over here. All my Christian friends knew
59:28
that my daughter went in the hospital.
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All my Christian friends know that for weeks I had been sick.
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Deathly sick. I didn't know if I had, you
59:39
know, the the Chinese virus or what the fuck was wrong with me.
59:44
But now one Christian called me up and asked me if I was doing
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OK, but my Satanist buddies did. It kind of reminds me of that
59:54
story that I told you all about how the church people just drove
59:59
right past me and they didn't give a fuck.
1:00:02
And then the, you know, the the guy whom you never would have
1:00:08
thought would do anything, was the one that stopped and picked
1:00:11
you up. But I think that there's a
1:00:14
scientific explanation for some of that too, I think.
1:00:18
One of the reasons why strangers who are not heavily religious or
1:00:23
completely depend on God do good things like they do is one.
1:00:27
I believe they are morally wired by God and they make the choice
1:00:33
through free will to do something.
1:00:35
But I also think that people who are out in the world, who have
1:00:39
actually suffered themselves or went through tragedies and know
1:00:45
what it's like to walk down that dark Rd. where there's barely
1:00:49
any light. I think that people like that
1:00:54
understand that somebody's got to do something.
1:01:03
There's some people who've actually went through pain and
1:01:05
suffering and they sympathize. So psychologically, they say to
1:01:10
themselves, look at that guy or that woman that's hurting on the
1:01:14
side of the road. I got to do something as where a
1:01:17
religious person is frightened that the devil's going to get
1:01:20
them, that you don't want to pick up the hitchhiker because
1:01:25
you know something's going to happen and they're worried that
1:01:28
God won't save them if something goes bad or naughty or whatever.
1:01:32
Their fucking reasoning, you know?
1:01:39
But you get what I'm saying when I walk past homeless people now,
1:01:44
and if I got the money, which I don't often have a lot of money
1:01:47
to be able to spare. If I see a homeless person,
1:01:52
Ioffer them a place to go. Or I try to suggest places that
1:01:57
they can go. Or if I can help them.
1:02:00
Sometimes I put money in their cups.
1:02:02
If they're holding up a cup, I give them money.
1:02:05
It's not very much. I'm not wealthy, but I know what
1:02:09
it's like. I know what it's like to be on
1:02:11
the street. I know what it's like to be an
1:02:13
accident. So I know what it's like to
1:02:15
suffer death and pain and all that.
1:02:19
And I know that whenever I see a person that's down on their luck
1:02:25
that they may not have wanted it to be that way.
1:02:27
But sometimes life throws a curve.
1:02:34
So yeah, so that's a little bit about me.
1:02:41
Maybe people will listen to this and they will understand me
1:02:45
better, or maybe they'll see me as more complicated than ever is
1:02:49
before. But one thing I've learned is
1:02:54
don't judge a book by its cover just because someone calls
1:02:58
himself a Satanist. Just because someone calls
1:03:00
himself a Muslim, just because someone calls himself a
1:03:04
Christian, doesn't automatically mean they're going to be great,
1:03:07
fucking wonderful people. And just because someone calls
1:03:11
themselves a Satanist doesn't mean they're going to be some
1:03:14
kitten sacrificing baby blood drinking fucking pedophile
1:03:19
monster or something. So we just got to, I don't know,
1:03:25
we got to love people that love us back and we got to be there
1:03:30
for those who actually want to be there and not be so quick to
1:03:37
turn away by. So far, not behaviours of the
1:03:41
way somebody looks, I suppose. Yeah, well, God bless, ladies
1:03:51
and gentlemen. Have a good one.