Latest / The PAUSE with Ari Clibe / Lawnmower Friends (S2E5)

Transcript

Lawnmower Friends (S2E5) · The PAUSE with Ari Clibe

• 0:00
  Foreign.
• 0:09
  Wait, wait a second. This could be in
• 0:12
  today's episode of the Pause.
• 0:16
  No, no, no. Hold on a sec. This. This could
• 0:21
  be the future of the pause. Money two
• 0:24
  also controls money. Really sad. Yeah, it's really sad.
• 0:28
  Those kids just missed out on being big
• 0:32
  radio show.
• 0:35
  If they know to follow the instincts, then they would know you don't
• 0:42
  follow their blanket based on someone
• 0:47
  else's not listening to their instincts. The rule
• 0:50
  is listen to your instincts. I'm really. This is super refined.
• 0:54
  Otherwise you miss out on opportunities. What does that mean?
• 0:58
  Because you're following a rule instead of your instincts.
• 1:01
  What do you mean by that? How did. Surprisingly,
• 1:05
  I'm preaching to myself. Totally agree with you.
• 1:08
  I'm like. I'm like. That's true. Because how many
• 1:12
  of them review the rules? Because I learned that lesson on this car ride.
• 1:16
  Fear of death. I did. And now I know
• 1:20
  it knew because you. You tapped in. I did. I tapped in. I get it.
• 1:24
  Really clearly now. I'm afraid to die properly. Exactly. Yeah.
• 1:32
  I got hall monitor. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lord knows I
• 1:36
  never moved into the neighborhood and they gave me an orientation that said they never
• 1:40
  did that. A six inch rule. They never told you. So it's not your
• 1:44
  fault. You didn't know the rule. But a rule's the rule, right? It's your responsibility
• 1:48
  to know the law of the land. To abide by all the rules.
• 1:51
  All of them. All of the rules. Yeah. It's an understate rule.
• 1:56
  Or it was an actual rule. It's a law. It's a law. It's a regulation.
• 1:59
  Yeah. And so Martin calls the guy up and says the
• 2:04
  guy saw Ari's land and that
• 2:08
  is in violation of the 6 inch rule. So you gotta get over there,
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  you know. Cause Martin has a lot of coin. Yeah,
• 2:15
  a lot of coin. As he should. Yeah, He's a very. He's a vigilante
• 2:19
  he's watching out for. Cause he never worked a day in his life,
• 2:23
  but his dad handed him. He's an ambassador for Ecuador
• 2:27
  under the Bush administration. If you don't call that work, Ari,
• 2:31
  I don't know what is.
• 2:35
  Okay, let's go back to this. And then what happened?
• 2:38
  Stan from the horticulture department within the codes
• 2:42
  enforcer. Yeah. He comes to the door and he's like,
• 2:45
  I need you to clean that up. Yeah. But I also
• 2:49
  noticed while I'm here that the tree. You were
• 2:53
  supposed to have a tree out there and you cut it down.
• 2:56
  You did that. I did. You know why? Why? Because it was
• 3:01
  Dying, manscaping. And I said I
• 3:04
  was going to. I am replacing that tree. Like,
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  you're not allowed to do it. But you didn't do it through. You have to
• 3:11
  do it through code. Again, like, do I know that? Well, if you don't
• 3:15
  know that, that's your fault. I felt reason.
• 3:18
  You're an American citizen. Know the rules.
• 3:21
  Okay. Did you say. Did you say you were sorry?
• 3:25
  No. Did you climb onto the cross?
• 3:28
  Oh, it costs money. Yeah. You could have just said,
• 3:32
  I'll pay for you to do it. But as a neighbor,
• 3:36
  why wouldn't he just be like, oh, he's not here. Okay, that is open the
• 3:39
  mow for him instead of slapping his fine. Why didn't Martin. Well, no, no,
• 3:43
  no, no. We have already established this. No one likes mowing the law,
• 3:47
  but. No one likes Marty.
• 3:53
  You're listening to the paws, providing sanctuary for
• 3:58
  the wild ones, streaming worldwide at www.radiokcn.com
• 4:05
  in Knoxville.
• 4:09
  Coming at you live from where we at?
• 4:12
  Oudawa. Coming at you live from oudawa, the Paul's
• 4:17
  radio. I've got a re in the car. I've got sparrow in the.
• 4:21
  They don't have a plan. We don't have a plan.
• 4:24
  We're going to start the conversation about lawnmowers.
• 4:29
  Do you. Do you mow your grass? I do.
• 4:32
  I don't personally. My kids do, but it hasn't been mowed
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  in, like, a month and a half at this point because of the rain,
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  and it's not like a priority. I like it as something that
• 4:43
  my kids have to do to kind of give
• 4:47
  them some responsibility. So you mow your grass not because you
• 4:52
  care about the length of your grass. Does size matter to you?
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  Are we talking about grass? Are we talking about
• 4:59
  other things? I'm talking about grass, Amy.
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  That's an interesting question, because sometimes it
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  bothers me because I'll be like, oh, I'm the only one in the neighborhood that
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  hasn't mowed their grass. I'm sure everybody's looking at me like, that whole thing hasn't
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  mowed her grass. Then, on the other hand, it doesn't like it long.
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  Yeah, yeah. Otherwise. And you want to be a hussy.
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  Maybe you don't want the appearance of hussy.
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  You are a hussy. But you can't let people know that. Yeah. So you
• 5:29
  put your kids to work. I do. They're your cover. But they haven't been
• 5:33
  doing their job. Oh, no. It's because it's been raining. It's Been raining crazy.
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  And then they'll be at their dad's when it's sunny, and then it just hasn't
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  gotten fed. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense to me. But when you
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  ask that question, it makes me think that. No, I.
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  There's lots of. There's lots of me that doesn't care. Yeah.
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  What they think or what's going on. But enough of you to keep
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  doing it. Yeah. That's interesting here, isn't that?
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  Okay. Ari, do you mow your grass?
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  Yeah, I don't do that. You don't? Does someone else do
• 6:07
  it for you? Yeah. Who does it? Dalton. Dalton does
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  it. Is this your Tennessee house? Yeah. And your Pennsylvania
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  house? The Pennsylvania house is mowed by Dan.
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  Okay. And then does your Philly spot
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  have a lawn, too? A very tiny lawn, because it's a townhouse
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  and we're part of a home, an hoa. And then so they.
• 6:31
  They have a whole crew that does that. Oh, they. But you pay, like a
• 6:35
  HOA type thing? Yeah, we pay an HOA fee each month, and it covers
• 6:39
  the lawn care. So Dalton.
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  Dalton does Tennessee. Who does the farmhouse porno.
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  Dalton does Tennessee. We are in the porno.
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  And. And Dan. And Dan does. Dan does it.
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  Does the one up in. You know where. At the farmhouse. When do
• 6:59
  you decide. Do they decide when to mow the lawn? We talk about it.
• 7:03
  They're probably biting at the chance
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  to mow the lawn. Cause do they get paid by the mow? Both of
• 7:11
  them get paid by the MoW. So they like to keep it short. They do.
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  And you like to keep it trimmed? Yeah, so I like.
• 7:18
  I like it to be trimmed, but I don't like grass
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  that's really short. Okay. Because I tell
• 7:26
  myself that the grass is a plant,
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  and the closer you crop into the earth,
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  the riskier it can be if it's dry and then
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  the lawn gets brown. So you're looking out for green
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  lawn. That's really your aim here? Let's make sure the
• 7:46
  plant's doing well. So you're in it for the plant
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  health. You're pro grass. I'm actually not progress.
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  Oh, well, what are you? I'm pro, actually. Meadow and habitat.
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  But. But I'm conflicted because to
• 8:02
  take on turning my lawns into meadow,
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  you would. Have to do nothing. I would have to do nothing. And that's
• 8:10
  hard. And that's hard. And also, people on your ego. No, it's hard on the
• 8:14
  neighbors. It's hard on the neighbors. Same for me. So it's expectation.
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  So really, you you're caring about your neighbors by mowing
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  the grass. It's a form of care. It is. Yeah. And for
• 8:26
  fitting in. And we just keep perpetuating that. Yeah.
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  So what if keeping the grass is harming earth but pleasing your neighbors?
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  That's a conundrum. Because that is what it's
• 8:37
  doing. That is what it's doing. And I'll tell you,
• 8:41
  I never even thought about it till your issue with your
• 8:45
  habitat came to be. I had not even thought
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  about it. Like, yeah, you mow grass. That's what you do every summer. You're doing
• 8:52
  it every two weeks. It was not on my radar. And I was
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  like. But I could not mow the grass. You cannot mow
• 8:59
  it. Yeah, that makes more sense. It does make more sense. But we don't
• 9:03
  do it. Well, I do it. I don't mow my girl. But it
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  does cause problems. So we're avoiding problems by mowing the
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  grass. But then. But we are also creating problems by
• 9:15
  mowing grass. What problems are we creating when you mow it?
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  Loss of habitat for pollinators. Also just
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  like, okay, what do you like to do on a Saturday? Mow grass.
• 9:28
  And said. No one. No one said that. Well, I think
• 9:31
  some tech bros say it. Yeah. The lawnmower
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  friends. The lawnmower friends say it. But do they really mean it or
• 9:40
  is that they're grasping at domination and
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  control in a chaotic world? Who won't keep them?
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  Yeah. So it doesn't. Yeah. So they don't
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  talk just about the lawn, but the lawn is a
• 9:55
  gateway to talk about the egg. The egg. Yeah.
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  What are the eggs? The eggs are the lightning bug eggs. That's another thing
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  that the lawnmower is a problem for. You know,
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  the lightning bugs lay their eggs in the. The high grass
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  and the leaves that fall off the trees. No, I didn't know that. Yeah.
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  So if you. If you are keeping your lawn tidy
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  in the way that we describe tidy, then the eggs are gone.
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  Wow, that makes me even sadder. Yeah, I was talking about the egg,
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  which is a very high end bougie barbecue.
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  Oh, that egg. The green egg. The green egg. Yeah. Okay, so what do they
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  need to do with the green egg? Well, they're. They really want to talk about
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  that green egg. And they will talk about the lawnmower
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  and the lawn as a lead into the egg on how
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  awesome their brisket is that they barbecue and smoke
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  in the egg. Do you love talking about the egg? No. No.
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  Okay, so we're keeping the lawn short to talk about the egg. But you don't
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  like talking about the egg. No, I'm not all that interested in the egg because
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  their barbecue's the barbecue. And you know what? It's good,
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  but it's not like. Drop the mic. Good. But I
• 11:14
  have to listen to the stories about what kind of wood
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  chips go into the green egg, how the green egg is superior to
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  every other. Like my, you know, horrible Weber grill.
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  Right. You have a Weber grill? Weber. That's embarrassing.
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  God, that's where the car was. So embarrassing.
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  Does it have aluminum shame? That's.
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  Yeah, it does. I don't know if I
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  can drive now.
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  Should we drive us off a cliff? I'll jump out the window.
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  I might have to do those. What are those called? The Runaways. You should prepare
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  to die. This is embarrassing. This is the Weber. No,
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  I don't have a Weber egg. No, I know. You just. I just have a
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  Weber grill. Second class Weber grill.
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  Yeah. That's embarrassing. Oh, we're in this.
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  Would you do. Okay. Amy lived in Cleveland. We're passing the city limits right now.
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  Tell me about your lawn in Cleveland. Oh,
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  well, we rented. It was a duplex,
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  so it wasn't even our responsibility. Which really even
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  better. So, okay, points for renting. But someone still has
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  to lawn. They were. No matter where you're at. Just keeping up the expectation
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  of perfection. Okay. And that's important to some
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  people. Yeah, it's been important. Mowing grass
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  is like a pasta. It's like a little kitchen.
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  It's pastel. You have to mow your grass. Oh, my stepdad
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  used to get so upset if the grass was, like, the tiniest
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  bit. Oh, it is something that's passed down like. Oh, it's just something you do.
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  You don't even think about it. That's what I'm saying. I did not even
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  think about it until your situation. I was like, oh, yeah,
• 13:01
  you could not marry. Yeah. And be crucified.
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  That's an option for both of you. Have you considered being
• 13:09
  crucified? So inadvertently? We did get crucified
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  one time. Accidentally. Accidentally. What happened?
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  Wait, did you rise from the dead? We did rise.
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  Okay. So you. Okay, tell me the gospel. Tell me
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  what happened. So I didn't realize this, but there's a rule in
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  our old community that if your grass goes to 6 inches
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  or more, then. Which is plenty. That's plenty.
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  Like, six inches, Right? That's a. That's the minimum that my
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  law standard. Apparently.
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  Apparently that violates a sacred rule.
• 13:48
  Yeah. It makes the other men feel good.
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  Inferior. Yeah, inferior. We can't do that. Right.
• 13:55
  It's kind of like wearing your hair long when everyone else has got crew cuts.
• 13:59
  Yeah. Which is too much wild.
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  So you know who gets called who? Not the police.
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  No, the other police. Codes enforcement. The codes
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  enforcement. In fact, if you live in the kind of community we
• 14:15
  used to live in, they have the person who's within the codes is
• 14:19
  the specialist on hoa. Enforcer. The plants,
• 14:25
  like. What's it called? Horticulture, which includes the
• 14:29
  trees, some of which were township trees,
• 14:32
  that had little silver tags with numbers on it that corresponded to
• 14:36
  their Bible that said, you know, you can't touch as a homeowner.
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  The township tree that's on your property.
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  We're in charge of those trees. We're in charge of those trees. But they take
• 14:47
  good care of those trees. No. Oh, no, they didn't care
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  because they never got off their. You know, they had a lot of. Codes to
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  them for us. Give them a break. You're out there keeping your grass
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  at 6.2 inches. How am I supposed to take care of trees
• 15:02
  when I have to deal with that shit? That's ex. It's a conundrum for
• 15:06
  them. Right. Because we went away. We went away.
• 15:09
  We went away to celebrate with our kids.
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  What were you celebrating? We were. We went to France.
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  Okay. So you. You don't have to mow
• 15:20
  your lawn. Cause you're in France. Yeah. And the guy who are lawnmower.
• 15:24
  I mean, honestly, I would bust your balls too. It's his responsibility to
• 15:29
  hire somebody to do it. I have to stay home and watch your grass
• 15:32
  grow while you're in France. I'm definitely busting your balls.
• 15:39
  Well, where's my ticket to France? You. I would have
• 15:43
  appreciated you busting my balls directly, but our neighbor Martin.
• 15:47
  Okay, preach. Say it to my face. Right?
• 15:51
  Say it to my face. Say it to my face. Well, I'm in France.
• 15:54
  Wait till I get back. No, I'm home now and I have a citation in
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  my door. How is he going to tell it to your face if you're in
• 16:01
  France? No, I came home. You're expat. It's not patriotism.
• 16:04
  He called me. You can't run away from your problem. Who are you?
• 16:10
  Un American is what I call you. Who's your friend?
• 16:14
  Unpatriotic. Who's your. Who's your code enforcer
• 16:19
  caller? Martin. Martin. I'm on Team Martin. I'm pro Martin.
• 16:23
  Big Zionist, by the way. Okay. I'm all right,
• 16:28
  all right, all right. Big, big Zionist. Big. President bush.
• 16:32
  Van. Wow. G.W. bush. Okay. Second. In fact,
• 16:36
  Martin was the ambassador to Ecuador under
• 16:40
  Bush. Okay? And then when his term completed,
• 16:45
  his wife became. Well, this is obviously important. If he's
• 16:49
  used to dealing with problems on that scale and he has the time to
• 16:53
  deal with your lawn, we know this is a big fucking deal.
• 16:57
  I guess, you know, like, now that. You'Re on an ego trip,
• 17:01
  like I used to do, this. Martin would never.
• 17:04
  Martin has a broad extent, expansive perspective.
• 17:08
  He's global, metropolitan. In fact.
• 17:12
  In fact, actually, I've come to think of it, you're right. Because my friend who
• 17:17
  lived across the street, Steve, he and his wife Amber, had a nice big house
• 17:21
  across the street. And Martin wanted his property
• 17:25
  values to increase. So he bought
• 17:29
  Steve and Amber, who could afford their own tree.
• 17:32
  He said, in order for your property. My property to
• 17:36
  appreciate, we have to plant these types of trees. Because I'm friends with,
• 17:41
  you know, the code guy in the horticulture department. What a philanthropist. He's just.
• 17:44
  He's Johnny Appleseeding your neighborhood. I love
• 17:49
  Mark. Johnny Appleseed. So I got.
• 17:52
  Everybody knows. So I
• 17:56
  got a citation. And I'm like. I came back celebrating,
• 18:01
  you know, you. Just had a joyous occasion. Joyous occasion. We celebrate my
• 18:05
  son's. And they snack right back into it.
• 18:08
  So guess what? I called him up and said, like, what's. What's going on here?
• 18:12
  You said, well, you're in violation. Yeah. Which you were. You signed that hoa.
• 18:16
  I don't. You knew the rules. There's no HOA at this point. That's my
• 18:20
  town. There is no HOA back in the old community. No, there was. Oh,
• 18:24
  this is before. This is like hall
• 18:28
  monitoring. I got hall monitor. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah,
• 18:31
  yeah. Lord knows, I never moved into the neighborhood and they gave me an orientation
• 18:35
  that said they never did that. A six inch rule. They never told you,
• 18:40
  so it's not your fault. You didn't know the rule. But a rule's the rule,
• 18:43
  right. It's your responsibility to know the law of the land, to abide by it.
• 18:47
  All the rules. All of them. All of the rules. Yeah. An understood rule,
• 18:52
  or it was an actual. It's a law. It's a law. It's a regulation.
• 18:56
  Yeah. And so Martin calls the guy up and says,
• 18:59
  the guy saw Ari's land and
• 19:04
  that is in violation of the 6 inch rule. So you gotta get over there,
• 19:07
  you know? Cause Martin has a lot of coin. Yeah.
• 19:11
  Lot of coin. As he should. Yeah. He's a very.
• 19:14
  He's a Vigilante he's watching out for.
• 19:17
  Cause he never worked a day in his life, but his dad handed
• 19:21
  him. He's an ambassador for Ecuador under the Bush administration.
• 19:26
  If you don't call that work, Ari, I don't know what
• 19:30
  is. Okay, let's go back to this. And then what happened?
• 19:33
  Stan from the horticulture department within the codes
• 19:38
  enforcer. Yeah. He comes to the door and he's. He's like,
• 19:41
  I need you to. To. To clean that up. Yeah. But I also notice
• 19:45
  while I'm here that the tree. You sure? You were supposed to have a tree
• 19:50
  out there? And you cut it down. You did that.
• 19:53
  I did. You know why? Why? Because it was dying,
• 19:57
  manscaping, and I said I was going
• 20:01
  to rep. I am replacing that tree. I was like, you're not allowed to.
• 20:05
  Do it, but you didn't do it through. You have to do it through code.
• 20:08
  Again, like, do I know that? Well, if you don't know that,
• 20:11
  that's your fault. What? I felt. You're an American
• 20:14
  citizen. Know the rules. Okay. Did you
• 20:18
  say us? Did you say you were sorry? No. Did you climb onto the cross?
• 20:23
  Mow it for you if it was. Oh, it costs money.
• 20:26
  Yeah. You could have just said, I'll pay for you to do it.
• 20:29
  But as a neighbor, why wouldn't you just be like, oh, he's not
• 20:34
  here. Okay. That is, I'm gonna vote for him. Instead of slapping his thigh.
• 20:37
  Why didn't Martin. Well, no, no, no, no. We have already established this.
• 20:41
  No one likes mowing the lawn. But no one likes Martin.
• 20:44
  No one. This is feeling really personal. I'm talking about
• 20:49
  grass. Even Martin's wife doesn't like Martin
• 20:52
  because she would walk the dog and she's mow Martin.
• 20:55
  Yeah. How long is his hair? Martin's hair?
• 20:59
  He was bald. Bald, okay. That makes a lot of sense.
• 21:03
  Yeah. His pubes. Did you ever get a look at him? Martin's pubes?
• 21:09
  No. I was curious about it. They're probably like a crew cut.
• 21:13
  Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe. Maybe he was one of those
• 21:17
  guys, you know, the bald look. You know, you shave all your pubes.
• 21:21
  I'm not against it. You know what I'm saying?
• 21:24
  I'm sure you've seen that stuff, right? Fuck it. When you were in. Where were
• 21:28
  you again last night? La Quinta.
• 21:32
  Oh, no, no, no. You went some. You spent some time in that big city.
• 21:35
  What was it called? Chicago? No, in Manchester. That's the look.
• 21:39
  Oh, that's the look. Yeah. The bald pubes. Yeah. I have
• 21:43
  to admit. Now that you're calling out, I'm thinking he was a bald
• 21:48
  pub guy, which. I think is respectable. But was his
• 21:51
  wife? Oh yeah. Bald down there. Who's. Did he
• 21:55
  request her to be trimmed? Well, duh. We already know he
• 21:59
  is pro trimmed. Yeah. Bald. If we can manage it.
• 22:05
  All right, let's get back to this story. You're making this very personal.
• 22:08
  As close to. It's a low blow. Did you just pay
• 22:13
  the fine or what? You mowed the lawn. I mowed the lawn. Yeah. And you
• 22:17
  did it pouting. You pouted the whole time. I did. Uh huh.
• 22:21
  And then. And then every time you saw Martin, how was your face?
• 22:24
  Red. Scowling. Scowling. Did you get them back?
• 22:28
  He had to look at your scowling face every time. So let me tell you
• 22:31
  the story. So I would tell my wife because I'm a
• 22:35
  tech bro, Right. At that point. I'm a tech bro. Yeah. And I'm smarter
• 22:39
  than everybody, obviously. Duh. Right.
• 22:42
  Yeah. And everyone knows that I'm a tech bro. Yeah.
• 22:46
  So what do tech bros do? They invent things to
• 22:50
  do the work for them. No, you get
• 22:54
  addicts drone and you program the drone
• 22:58
  to go to Martin's house and spy on Martin
• 23:02
  while he's having sex with his bald ball. You did that?
• 23:07
  Espionage. I told Denise that's what I want to do. We knew he was
• 23:10
  a spy. Yeah. This man is a patriot. He keeps
• 23:14
  revealing himself to us and we keep going, oh, oh, that's not. Let's take
• 23:18
  a ride down the road. We need to take it from. And then guess what?
• 23:22
  Denise says. What? Do it. She's like, you're not doing
• 23:26
  that. And I'm like, I'm going. I'd be like, do it. That would be
• 23:29
  so much fun. And then I would get resentful because now I'm married and the
• 23:34
  person I'm married to doesn't even think. She's not on your side. She's not on
• 23:37
  my side. Now I got Martin on opposite side. Now I got her on her
• 23:41
  side on the other side. And now I'm surrounded. And then I'm like, I'm seething
• 23:45
  at this point. Yeah, I would be. Yeah, absolutely. Hold up. Time out.
• 23:49
  So just curious. If that was me, I'd be like, man, everybody's against me.
• 23:53
  Maybe I need to rethink this. Oh, right. Like maybe I'm the anomaly.
• 23:58
  Just mean like a weak perspective like that. Like, oh,
• 24:02
  maybe I'm the one that's wrong. No. Because you know who's on my side.
• 24:05
  You all my tech bros. In fact,
• 24:09
  they're helping me design the drone that
• 24:14
  it's got zero traceability. So that when the if
• 24:18
  and because Martin's super tight with the cops. Right. Because he pays,
• 24:22
  he pays them off. Right, yeah. That my drone would be completely
• 24:26
  non detectable. It has a. No, see it's,
• 24:29
  it's a. How did you know that? Because I'm a Ted Pro. Oh,
• 24:33
  okay, cool. Oh, you're a tech pro. You didn't know that? Thought you were a
• 24:37
  sound nerd. That's what I was thinking. Aren't they the same? No. Oh,
• 24:40
  I'm both. Oh, you're both. Yeah. So I'm getting interviewed by
• 24:45
  sound nerd. Tech bro. Sound nerd. Tech bro. Yeah.
• 24:48
  Okay, so you pro 2 inch
• 24:52
  grass and bald. Or not bald. Well you could do bald if
• 24:56
  you. Can manage bald pubes. Bald pubes? Yeah. Or two inches.
• 25:00
  Pubes are the hair. They can't be bald. Those are the hairs. Oh, you mean
• 25:04
  bald balls. I mean bald balls. Shave. Bb Shaved. That's the term.
• 25:08
  Keep them. Trent. Your pubes?
• 25:11
  Yeah, pubic. You don't just have them like doing their pubic thing.
• 25:15
  Can't be wild and curly. Really? I like mine.
• 25:19
  You would. I am. You're an exact bro.
• 25:22
  Okay, but now can we get back to Amy's point?
• 25:26
  What? You're right. She said you didn't. She would rethink her
• 25:30
  perspective. Oh, maybe I'm the one that's wrong. And I'm telling you,
• 25:34
  of course I don't do that. Because I'm a tech bro and all my tech
• 25:37
  friends. Cause you're a fucking man. I'm a fucking man. And all my tech bro
• 25:40
  friends thank men too. And they're all right because they're.
• 25:44
  Martin, did you build the drone?
• 25:47
  Oh, I'm gonna be disappointed if you didn't build
• 25:52
  the drone. You were draying on. Uh huh.
• 25:56
  You did nothing. Martin just is still in this world.
• 26:00
  I tried. Amy's right. I think we need to visit Martin.
• 26:04
  And then you know what happens? I want to hear his side of his story.
• 26:08
  There's more in the Martin story. But you know what? What?
• 26:11
  That to me tells. Told me I had a crisis then
• 26:15
  because a real tech bro would go and build
• 26:19
  it. Yes. And so now I'm saddled with. I'm a fraud.
• 26:23
  You are a fraud. Right. You're a failure. Fraud.
• 26:25
  Failure. I, I, I got wipes on
• 26:29
  the. I don't got that. No, he can't even be in that car.
• 26:33
  He can't even keep up with his. Grass, no neighbors,
• 26:38
  no w. My kids don't look at me. Right.
• 26:42
  And I'm a fraud when I'm with my text. Oh, because you didn't cut the
• 26:46
  grass. This is really on you. And then what happened?
• 26:50
  This is the crucifixion. Are we talking about that? Is this when you
• 26:54
  die? I'm trying to yourself. Finally.
• 26:58
  No, there was one other thing. Oh. We kept going. Yeah.
• 27:02
  There's one more thing. Can I just back up and tell you a little bit
• 27:05
  more about Martin? Your friends more. Bummer. The ambassador.
• 27:10
  The ambassador? Yeah. Of global peace. That's what they're all.
• 27:14
  I just want you to know I'm envisioning this whole story because that's what I
• 27:17
  do when people tell me stories. Okay, so I've got an idea of what Martin
• 27:20
  looks like in the grass. Wait, wait, let's. What does Martin look like?
• 27:24
  Are you asking me? Like, what's asking what? Amy. But she
• 27:28
  got distracted. No, Amy could pick up. So I'm imagining this road
• 27:33
  and on one side on a big hill is Ari's house. And then
• 27:38
  on the opposite side is Martin's house. They have both.
• 27:41
  They're each on their own hill. Yes. No one would get. Not on a
• 27:45
  hill. Right. It's the hill to be had. I live on top of it.
• 27:48
  Exactly. That's the bro code. And so Martin can't
• 27:52
  help but see Ari's undone. He's gotta. Yeah.
• 27:55
  Overlook that. Right. But to me,
• 27:58
  Martin is tall and skinny and kind of lanky.
• 28:02
  Is he with glasses? No, no glasses.
• 28:06
  Grayish. Grayish hair. Yeah. Yep. I took
• 28:10
  him as come nerdy. Sound. Like.
• 28:14
  Not in the. On a power trip. The highest. The highest
• 28:18
  power. No. No ambassadors on a power trip.
• 28:22
  We're just going to be the ambassador of a country to
• 28:26
  another country. So humbly so. So let me.
• 28:30
  Let me portray parts of the other part of the neighborhood. Okay. All right.
• 28:33
  So you guys got a good sense right now we.
• 28:36
  Before this whole incident with the grass got started,
• 28:40
  Denise and I decided that we're not going to put up a wrought iron gate
• 28:44
  around our property. We're not going to do that. What?
• 28:48
  You. Because we don't believe in like boundaries. Boundaries.
• 28:52
  Fletching my pearls. Okay, fine. But Martin,
• 28:57
  he has the thickest, biggest wrought iron thing
• 29:01
  around his compound. He's got the compound, the two
• 29:06
  acre compound. We had the pathetic one acre.
• 29:09
  And we're, you know, we're. We're interviewing landscape horticultural
• 29:13
  people to do the meadow instead of the stupid lawn. Oh, this is real.
• 29:18
  It's all real. You're getting into the meadow. You have to hire
• 29:22
  a professional to stop mowing the grass. You need
• 29:25
  the consultation. Yeah. Because you're like, well, what's habitat?
• 29:30
  What's proper? Did you think that? I did. And I
• 29:33
  asked. Interesting. I asked the people to come over from Narbrink, and they came over
• 29:37
  and they gave me the book. The nature experts.
• 29:40
  Exactly. So. And then they designed the meadow that's a pathway
• 29:44
  through the meadow. So, you know, I could take my little Zen logs and all
• 29:48
  that kind of stuff. Nice. Yeah. So by what's
• 29:52
  going on at this time, since we've already. I've been. I'm still seething.
• 29:55
  Hold on. I have to pause you. I'm sorry. Okay.
• 29:58
  The meadows that we know as meadows,
• 30:02
  do the experts. Are they designing those?
• 30:06
  Are they building? Well, it's just in the wild,
• 30:09
  right? So the meadows happen without a design.
• 30:13
  Like the meadow we saw today. That was a meadow without design. No, this is
• 30:17
  a designed meadow for habitat. You're mimicking a
• 30:21
  meadow. It's a. It's a. Intentional. It's a smokrum.
• 30:25
  It's a smoker of a meadow. With intention. With intention. But if
• 30:29
  you don't have an expert do it, then it's against violation.
• 30:33
  But if you pay someone to do it, they're licensed. And now
• 30:37
  I won't get called on the carpet with the 6 inch rule. Even though
• 30:40
  there's no grass in a meadow, but it's still, you know,
• 30:44
  meadows get way higher than 6 inches. Okay, I understand. So at
• 30:48
  this point, I'm like, well, since I now know there's a regulation, I'm not going
• 30:52
  to go fight it. But now I want to do a meadow, then I got
• 30:56
  to go do with the meadow experts who create the smoke room of
• 31:00
  the meadow. This makes really good sins now. All right, keep going.
• 31:03
  I've given up. At this point. The whole dream of the drone,
• 31:07
  the cloaked. No, see him drone. And I'm
• 31:11
  feeling, you know, I told you, like a fraud. Yeah. But I'm
• 31:15
  still willing. Like, I am literally willing disaster
• 31:19
  to come to Martin. Yeah. This is like the Hatfield and the
• 31:23
  McCoys. It is over a meadow, over a lawn. This is the Pennsylvania
• 31:28
  version. This is how shit gets started over petty ass
• 31:32
  shit like this. So, you know, every night I'm willing myself
• 31:36
  and spending. Instead of spending time with my kids, spending time with my
• 31:40
  wife, I'm devising
• 31:45
  alternative destruction to Martin's
• 31:49
  house. That's not on the. Not on a drone. Using the drone. Because Denise
• 31:53
  said, don't use the drones. Reasonable. Which is completely
• 31:57
  reasonable in my mind. Because you're not a real
• 32:02
  tech bro. Because I'm not a real tech bro. Now who am
• 32:06
  I? I'm like, I'm Moccasin Bend.
• 32:09
  I'm like, I'm on the way to Moccasin Bend. You're on your way,
• 32:13
  right? You're on the outskirts. So I'm years.
• 32:16
  Years. This is years. Years. Okay.
• 32:20
  So in that time of these years, we get invited
• 32:25
  to a friend's house for a house concert. And we didn't know what a house
• 32:28
  concert. It's a live music thing where the artists come in and they play
• 32:31
  for 75 minutes or whatever. Damn. And it was really cool. Cause I
• 32:36
  was getting into fights. Because I'm a tech bro.
• 32:39
  When I go to see a music concert, I don't want some punky,
• 32:43
  you know, hipster person in front of me, yakking away,
• 32:46
  yap, yap, yap, yap, yap. Doing social media, standing in front of me,
• 32:50
  taking videos that they're just gonna post like everyone else and
• 32:54
  interrupting so I can't see and pay attention to music. Those bitches.
• 32:58
  So I'm like, let's. Yeah, let's go to the house. Platoon had
• 33:02
  a great time. Denise. Love the whole concept. Because house concerts
• 33:07
  have an HOA and they don't let you. Oh, there's. We're not in the HOA
• 33:11
  thing yet. I'm just saying that when you go to a house
• 33:15
  concert, the hipsters are not allowed. Oh, yeah, no, it's private.
• 33:19
  You're not getting it. That sounds to me like the Homeowners association for
• 33:24
  Music. No, it's a private. No, it's a. It's like a private. Yeah. I thought
• 33:27
  you meant that was happening at the house party that they were in front of
• 33:30
  you doing this bit. The Pete. The. He can't go into public and watch music
• 33:34
  with the public because they act rowdy, out of sorts.
• 33:38
  They're doing whatever they want, willy nilly style. You wouldn't like me at a
• 33:42
  concert. No. Because I'm like, what C. D. Do you see these people in.
• 33:46
  I'm like, d, what is going on? Right? And she's like, they're, you know.
• 33:50
  You know, they're kids. I'm like, no, I paid money for these seats,
• 33:54
  and I'm gonna go tell them to sit the fuck down.
• 33:58
  But you didn't. You just said, let's have our own. No, no,
• 34:02
  I did. And we almost got into fights. It was like two or three times.
• 34:05
  Oh. And I Was at the Temple. Confrontational.
• 34:09
  I was at the Tower Theater, which is anyone from Philly
• 34:13
  and live music. You know, Bowie played there, Bruce Springsteen,
• 34:16
  like, everyone played there. And you don't mess. There wasn't
• 34:20
  that many concerts at the Tower. And they weren't respecting, and the kids were not
• 34:25
  respecting. Oh, yeah. So the tech brooms,
• 34:29
  like tech bros, like, well, seething all the time,
• 34:33
  right? See why? Because he's unhappy with the world.
• 34:37
  Because he can't control the world. He's going to die eventually.
• 34:40
  Eventually I'm going to die. Right? We all do. But I can't. Not a
• 34:44
  tech bro. Not a tech bro. Because we're going to get cryo. We're going to
• 34:48
  get cryo frozen like. Han Solo.
• 34:53
  And we're going to live forever. Wilton on until they figure
• 34:58
  out the fountain of youth problem, and then we're going to live forever. Okay?
• 35:01
  So they'll have a bunch of youth running around. We can't have that. Are that
• 35:05
  literally our tech bros like that? They are. They are, like, they really are trying
• 35:09
  to solve. A hundred percent. Yes. But they're putting things and
• 35:14
  everything that looks like that could cause them death. Like nature.
• 35:18
  Enemy. That's a fucking enemy. Let's lay down
• 35:22
  some fucking concrete and asphalt and, you know, blast out
• 35:26
  of this. Blast out of this joint or at least go to another planetary body.
• 35:31
  So Denise goes, let's do one of those things. This is really
• 35:35
  cool, these house concerts. Hell, yeah. Right, Denise? Yeah.
• 35:39
  Because, like, tons of fun. There's no fucking hipsters
• 35:42
  who are, like, standing up and talking and going, oh, this is really cool.
• 35:46
  Yeah. I'm going to get a little video and put it on my thing.
• 35:49
  There's hipsters somewhere going, do you remember that asshole at that concert?
• 35:54
  He just went, fucking leave us alone. He ruined our.
• 35:57
  Denise is, like, literally, she's, like, holding me back,
• 36:00
  and I'm, like, getting in their grill. Hold me back, bro. Hold me back.
• 36:04
  She's like, we're never coming to this shit again.
• 36:08
  What she meant is with you. With me.
• 36:11
  Exactly. With me.
• 36:15
  You're awful. So I said, sure, let's do it. Let's host.
• 36:19
  You know, Susie and Scott. Love them. Have them at
• 36:22
  our house. So they came and we invited 40 or 50, you know,
• 36:26
  lawnmower friends from the synagogue, and we had a great time. We put out an
• 36:29
  open bar. We did this. People eventually did potluck,
• 36:33
  and we did these, like, for 10 years. It was really cool. What? Yeah,
• 36:36
  it was really. Is this directly related to Mark?
• 36:39
  This is exactly it. He just Jumped the gun again. He doesn't
• 36:43
  like that. He had these private concerts.
• 36:50
  So we did one that was outdoors on
• 36:54
  the lawn. Were they normally inside? Yeah. Oh, it was
• 36:58
  a trimmed lawn. And we called it Clipstock. Clip from my
• 37:02
  name and like Woodstock. So we had Clipstock. Oh, that's. And I talked
• 37:06
  to my friends, Dan, this other Dan, really great dude.
• 37:11
  We had a Philly music blog and my friend Ken,
• 37:14
  and we came up with a lineup. Hear a lot of Chickamauga.
• 37:18
  Was there Chickamauga. Was there Chickamauga? Yeah, Chickamauga. Angel.
• 37:22
  Angel Snow. Who lives in Chickamauga now? They used to live in Nashville.
• 37:25
  So anyway, we get the thing done and you know what we did? This was
• 37:29
  the big move of the death, bro. He invites everyone
• 37:33
  in the neighborhood, including your boy Martin.
• 37:37
  Uhm, literally walk
• 37:42
  to his gate. The, you know, the wrought iron gates. Not allowed
• 37:46
  in. Because if you're not the president, you better not
• 37:49
  fucking go in. But left it in on the. On his mailbox.
• 37:53
  So I was figuring Denise at least will be very proud
• 37:57
  of me, right. For inviting Mark. For inviting Martin. Let's. Somebody else
• 38:02
  did. Right? That's true. What do you mean? He allowed it to happen. He allowed
• 38:05
  it. Okay. What? I don't plan on that. You didn't personally put the invitation on
• 38:09
  Martin? No, I put it in his mailbox. Oh, you say somebody else did.
• 38:13
  I thought you did too. No, no, no, I did. Okay. He wants a star.
• 38:16
  Star. Good job. Yeah, it was a good job, right? Yeah. Really good job.
• 38:20
  And I know that if he comes, he's not going to be
• 38:24
  a dick. I do. I believe. I saw it. I believe. Why? Because you're.
• 38:28
  He's a guest. Because he's a guest. Exactly. And if you're a guest, you want
• 38:32
  him on Turd. I thought I was being like a little bit smart.
• 38:35
  Coach Larry coached me to go on this one. And he thought the whole
• 38:39
  thing about inviting him and everyone else in the neighborhood, so they. Reminds me of
• 38:42
  the Seinfeld episode. So he
• 38:46
  doesn't respond. Yeah, like other people are like, thank you. Other neighbors.
• 38:51
  Like, oh, Steve and Amber, great. I love the idea. We're going to be out
• 38:55
  of town, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, John and Randy said that Jonathan
• 38:59
  Carroll. So all the neighbors are like, you know, come in, we're going to be
• 39:02
  there, blah, blah, blah, blah. Nothing from Martin. Now,
• 39:05
  I was real intent that the whole intent of this invitation thing that
• 39:09
  we circulated was that Martin would respond. I.
• 39:13
  I get his email address because I want to like,
• 39:17
  reach out Bothering you that he's. This is really only about Martin at this
• 39:20
  point. Exactly. Right. Is it, though? I don't think it is. I think this is
• 39:24
  about Ari. Well, right, of course. But this. I was. Andy. But he
• 39:28
  was trying to beat Martin. Yeah, I was trying to beat him at his own
• 39:31
  game because. But he's not responding more. Right.
• 39:34
  I'm the smartest guy in the neighborhood. Right. We got to get back there.
• 39:38
  Duh. And he's playing. Oh, he's Mr. Powerful. I'm Mr.
• 39:41
  Ambassador. The Philly. You know, the University of Pennsylvania Children's Hospital.
• 39:45
  You know, his. I don't want to mention his name,
• 39:49
  but it has the Martin on the entrance on the big thing and,
• 39:53
  you know. But where'd he get all his money? Because money's from his dad,
• 39:56
  who was a lawyer in Philly. He didn't do any of this on himself.
• 39:59
  You know what I'm saying? Okay. Anyway, this is all the shit that I'm telling
• 40:02
  myself. So I get his email address and I email him
• 40:05
  and nothing. Email him again. Nothing. He's loving
• 40:10
  that you're just saying at his door. Right. He's eating
• 40:14
  this shit up. So what do you say in the email? Hey, just wonder if
• 40:17
  you'd have imitation. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. But what,
• 40:21
  am I going to get. Lost in the mail exactly? Or is it just.
• 40:24
  Can you respond that this is your email? I got the right email. Okay.
• 40:27
  So we want to, you know, communicate in the future. Kids want to go out
• 40:31
  and have a beverage. So I got a. I finally got a response,
• 40:34
  and it's just like, yeah, you got the email.
• 40:37
  That's all. That's all he said for Mark. Yeah, that's a
• 40:42
  fun. So he's. He's, you know, he's playing the game with me. Right. You know,
• 40:46
  every person we talked to who had had an outdoor house concert
• 40:49
  said, you got to do these things so that neighbors
• 40:53
  don't get upset. So we went to the. I always. I go to the cops,
• 40:56
  you know, like, the street was round. It's when you have a round street
• 41:00
  in your neighbor. Cul de sac, Brown. No, it's called a circle. So all
• 41:05
  that. There's the houses in the circle and then there's the houses that. On the
• 41:08
  other side of a circle and it branches in, you know, like this picture
• 41:13
  in that or. No, that's what I call a cul de sac. I call a
• 41:16
  cul de sac. You have a road that goes in and it makes a round.
• 41:18
  He's talking about the big topography of the whole
• 41:22
  neighborhood, Right, Right. No, a cul de sac to me is a dead end.
• 41:25
  It doesn't matter. So on the outer surface, and so it's really hard to.
• 41:29
  We're on the outer circle. You don't want people parking on the inner circle
• 41:33
  because it's dangerous, because cars are trying to drive through the neighborhood.
• 41:37
  You don't want to do that. So we get it all cleared. The cops come,
• 41:39
  you know, the day before they put up the parking. The no parking sign.
• 41:43
  Everything's cool. We know there's a decibel level now because I'm like
• 41:48
  now super hyper aware that we live in, like,
• 41:51
  you know, wherever we live now has rules and regulations
• 41:55
  on everything. So I check out the rules and so I have my sound guy
• 41:58
  come from Lancaster, really well respected guy, and we're doing
• 42:02
  sound check. And we literally have a decibel meter
• 42:06
  and we're walking around the property to make sure it's below the 72
• 42:11
  decibels of the threshold that the township permits due diligence.
• 42:16
  So I'm like, buttoned up, right? I'm like, sounds like it's
• 42:20
  open. I know where this is. Opening act comes on.
• 42:23
  Fantastic. Have a great time. Yada, yada, yada.
• 42:27
  Crowds into it, waiting for the final, you know, the next band. And the next
• 42:31
  band, okay, the final act's coming on. And then someone's
• 42:35
  like, hey, Annie, there's cops here. There's a couple of cops out in the
• 42:39
  front. They need to talk to you. And now I'm like,
• 42:43
  oh, my God, like the big act's coming on and now I
• 42:47
  have to go talk to the cops. Of course, in the pit of my stomach,
• 42:49
  I'm no one, you know, who called them. So they're
• 42:53
  like, hey, Annie. You're Mr. Klippmanov. Yeah, I am.
• 42:57
  Well, I hate to say it, but, you know, your neighbors call,
• 43:01
  they're complaining it's too loud. I'm like, what do you
• 43:05
  mean? I did sound check. He goes, he gives me this look.
• 43:08
  I know, I know it's tough. I'm sure you did this,
• 43:12
  because I know the cop, the no parking signs there, I know we did this,
• 43:15
  but, you know, you're just going to have. To shut it down because
• 43:19
  one person could pay. So I look at the cop.
• 43:22
  There's two, right? But I'm the lead cop. And I look at the cop,
• 43:27
  I look him like straight in the eye and I'm like,
• 43:31
  I know who sent you. And the guy, he looks at me
• 43:35
  and goes, I was like, could it be Martin and he starts
• 43:39
  smirking. He couldn't even keep a straight
• 43:43
  face. He goes, I just need you to do this. Otherwise I'm gonna have to
• 43:47
  take you away.
• 43:50
  Helga. Take me away. So I'm like,
• 43:56
  so remarkably, remarkably, he won.
• 44:00
  Remarkably, the artists moved indoors.
• 44:04
  We still had a great time. I was passing out this bottle of gin.
• 44:07
  Oh, that's not that remarkable. And we just see. And we had
• 44:11
  a great time. They were amazing. But were you boiling
• 44:15
  over on the inside? Well, I drank myself silly. Yeah, that's fine.
• 44:18
  Turns out fine. It turns out fine. But now, you know,
• 44:23
  the next day, now we feudin'. Now we're feudin,
• 44:27
  right? And here's the thing. At the end of my driveway, across the street
• 44:31
  on the inner circle, Martin also lives on the outer circle is his mom.
• 44:35
  There's like a hundred. He moved her down there before
• 44:39
  we moved into the neighborhood. But I haven't seen her because she's 100.
• 44:43
  Okay. You know, I see Martin walking around and he's like,
• 44:47
  he's always looking at my neighbors. I mean, he's always looking at my yard.
• 44:50
  And he's just being, you know, one of these people.
• 44:53
  So I go back to seething now. I'm like, the only thing I
• 44:57
  can do is wish this guy massive death and
• 45:01
  harm. Wouldn't you know, listen to this. Wouldn't you
• 45:05
  know. A storm passes in the next couple months
• 45:09
  after the thing, after the concert, and a tree falls.
• 45:13
  One of he's massive trees, mass moles. Is it the
• 45:17
  code tree, the township tree, or is this. No, this isn't his
• 45:21
  own. You know, this is one of his planted things that increased
• 45:25
  the value of his house. Yeah. So he had fought
• 45:28
  the tree, struck down by lightning, and comes down
• 45:33
  and rips and breaks a good chunk of his wrought
• 45:38
  iron fence. And wouldn't you know, your boy AC,
• 45:42
  that's me, Mr. Tech Bro, is licking his
• 45:47
  chops, walking around the neighborhood, doing my daily walk
• 45:50
  with the dog, Karma.
• 45:54
  And licking his chops and going, yeah, baby,
• 45:58
  I'm loving it. And now I think to
• 46:02
  myself, I have connection with the natural world.
• 46:08
  And. I don't need no fucking drones. I just talk to God
• 46:12
  and say, listen, you know,
• 46:16
  this is karma, dude. You don't fuck with me. That's.
• 46:19
  And that's the end of my story. That's my tech bro story. A villain is
• 46:24
  born. A villain is born. That's his origin story story.
• 46:27
  That's my AC's origin. AC origin.
• 46:31
  The monster that he became. That was it.
• 46:35
  Thank you, Martin, for helping me create that monster. So the moral of
• 46:39
  the story, it gets better. Oh, God, it gets better. Better.
• 46:42
  So. So we. We got approached when
• 46:47
  it's about seven years ago by. You still own this house.
• 46:51
  Listen, this is exactly. I'm going to get there. So we get approached by
• 46:55
  this couple, and they're like, hey, we love your house.
• 47:00
  We have three kids, one of our three girls, and we live just,
• 47:04
  you know, maybe five, six streets down the way. You don't know us, but if
• 47:09
  you're ever interested in selling, one of. Our middle girl is she's got special
• 47:13
  needs and we're running out of space, and she needs certain space.
• 47:16
  And if you and your wife ever decide, you know, we would be interested in
• 47:20
  buying your house. And I said, d.
• 47:23
  You know, it's worth calling them, right? They. Oh, they said in the
• 47:28
  email, we'll pay anything. We're crossing back over to Tennessee River.
• 47:32
  Beautiful. Should we book break for a commercial? The sun
• 47:35
  is setting over the Tennessee River. This is a commercial for you to buy nothing.
• 47:41
  Or the new lawnmower that's coming out at Home
• 47:45
  depot with the 650 hybrid end.
• 47:48
  Also a drone with a. No see,
• 47:52
  brought to you by ace villains.
• 48:00
  Only $2,500 for the drone. It's programmable.
• 48:04
  It's a programmable cloaky drone to deliver.
• 48:08
  Karma to your worst day in your neighborhood. Especially if its name's Mark.
• 48:13
  So I say to Dee, she. I call him back.
• 48:17
  She's like, let me think about it. She's sensible,
• 48:20
  right? She comes back, like, the next day. I was like, hey, you want to
• 48:23
  do it? Like, ah. I'm like, rabid, you know, like. Cause like, my. At this
• 48:27
  point, you could leave Mark. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, this is my ticket out.
• 48:30
  I don't have to fucking have Martin as my neighbor. Yeah. And she's like,
• 48:34
  I can't do it. Leo's. Until Leo graduates and goes to college.
• 48:38
  I can't see doing that. So I'm like, oh, yeah. It means I gotta see.
• 48:42
  There it is. There's the cross, Baby J. Thank you, Baby J.
• 48:46
  I'm gonna die eventually. And I will rise,
• 48:50
  and I will rise again eventually. So now I'm stuck
• 48:54
  back at the thing. And four years later, the real estate
• 48:58
  agents knock on the door. This is after Covid. We got, you know, we had
• 49:01
  my dad live with us for a year. Said the same family still,
• 49:05
  you know, like, they're willing. They really, really want this house.
• 49:09
  In fact, can. Can we talk? So I said, sure. Date Leo's.
• 49:12
  You know, he graduated at that point, I'm like, we'll talk.
• 49:16
  And they say, well, the family bought the house down the street. Not at Martin's,
• 49:20
  but they bought this house, and they were going to renovate it to suit
• 49:25
  their daughter. And they. They vastly underestimated
• 49:29
  how much it's going to cost. And they're like. They're. They put it up on
• 49:32
  the market, and they want to buy yours. Now, I knew this already. Steve and
• 49:36
  Amber were approached first, and they were offered the silliest
• 49:41
  number you can imagine. On the good end. On the good end.
• 49:45
  And they said no. I was like, wow, man,
• 49:48
  that would be hard to say no to. So they came to me,
• 49:52
  and I was like, well, you know, sure, let's talk. And long story short,
• 49:56
  they bought our house. But here's the thing.
• 50:00
  Martin's. In the time leading up to that, Martin's mom passed
• 50:04
  away. And Martin tried to sell his house because he.
• 50:07
  Somehow he figured, I don't need this big house with the
• 50:11
  broken wrought iron fence and big trees and the big
• 50:16
  palatial thing. I'm going to move into my mom's house across
• 50:20
  the street from Andy. Your new house?
• 50:24
  He followed you? No, no, the old house. I didn't sell
• 50:28
  it yet. Yeah, yeah. So he's. Now. Now I know the
• 50:32
  dude's moving across the street, not down the street.
• 50:35
  Now I have to every day at the end of my driveway,
• 50:39
  I gotta go look at Marc. He moves closer.
• 50:43
  And then. So I told D. I was like, they're.
• 50:46
  Whatever they're gonna offer us, it's gonna be a nice number.
• 50:50
  It's enough. It's enough. I just gotta get out
• 50:53
  of this place. You do the resentment point. They need you a lot.
• 50:57
  Exactly. So that was what I. And then you left, and then we left.
• 51:01
  And then she's like, you sold the house with us without us having a place
• 51:05
  to move? Yes. I'm like, I did. Yeah.
• 51:09
  She's. Well, I'm not so cool about that. I need you to
• 51:13
  get me a house by noon. Oh, my God. Yeah, she got really pissed.
• 51:17
  And did you get a house by noon? So it's.
• 51:21
  It's pandemic time. There's no excuses. There's no
• 51:25
  houses. What were you thinking, dude? He just hates
• 51:29
  work. I ate Martin. What did y' all do? So what
• 51:33
  did I do? I rolled up my sleeves, looked at two townhouses.
• 51:37
  Not in a great, you know, wasn't like the,
• 51:41
  you know, kind of neighborhood. Right. And I
• 51:46
  got a deal done by noon. In four hours,
• 51:50
  I got a deal done. Was It a good place. And that's
• 51:54
  where we live now. That's my townhouse now. I love it. And you don't have
• 51:58
  to mow the lawn. And everyone in the neighborhood knows that their property is worth
• 52:02
  a heck of a lot more because I overpaid.
• 52:07
  So you're the king. They all love you. They love me. Thank you for raising
• 52:11
  our property values. Yes. You didn't even have to plant the
• 52:15
  right tree. So now they love me. And you're happy,
• 52:19
  and I'm happy because. I don't love to be loved. I love to be loved.
• 52:22
  This is the tech bro, right? Yeah, because, you know, and everyone's like, oh,
• 52:25
  Mr. Tech Bro. Cool. And I don't have to look at Martin
• 52:29
  anymore, and I have to deal with Stan from the horticulture
• 52:33
  bullshit. Did you ever get your lawn into a meadow? Never did. Because those never
• 52:38
  built a drone. No, because they were. I never built the drone.
• 52:41
  And the meadow people just pissed me off because
• 52:45
  they were like. They turned into like. They were like. It was like a bait
• 52:48
  and switch. They're like, oh, we like meadows. We like habitat.
• 52:52
  And here's the book from the University of Delaware professor who's all
• 52:55
  about habitat. And you should every. Everyone in America should have a habitat.
• 53:00
  And I'm like, yeah, I buy it. Hook, line, sinker. And then basically,
• 53:03
  they come in, and they're just like every other landscape artist.
• 53:06
  Yeah. Really could have just said, amy, just let
• 53:10
  it go. Shysters there. Sisters. It was like,
• 53:13
  $25,000 to plant a meadow. And I'm like.
• 53:17
  And they're. And they're all like, oh, but we need to, like, you know,
• 53:20
  go through lots of therapists. Why didn't you look it up on your own?
• 53:23
  Were you barking at this? I'm like, you didn't have time to do that?
• 53:26
  Yeah, no, I was. I was over. I was doing important. He was seething over
• 53:29
  mark. That took 20% of his free time. And the rest of the time,
• 53:33
  I'm over in Europe doing. Having fun. No, doing tech bro stuff.
• 53:37
  Leadership for tech bros. Oh, leadership for tech
• 53:41
  bros. So, you know, what should have happened is Dee and
• 53:44
  Martin's wife should have got together, be like these boys.
• 53:48
  We're just gonna. We're gonna mend this together.
• 53:51
  They have their egos. We're. We're gonna do this. That's what
• 53:55
  should have happened. That could have been an alternative universe.
• 53:58
  Tell the end of the story. That happened that way.
• 54:04
  I think Martin would die on a cross raised
• 54:09
  from the dead, and the world would be saved. And then
• 54:13
  we wouldn't have an Ari villain. AC no, that was
• 54:17
  Andy. That was not Ari. Oh, sorry, AC Villain. That was AC
• 54:21
  Villain. Whereas this is how Ari was born. This is part of the
• 54:25
  dying of Daisy and the birth of Ari. So it needed to
• 54:28
  happen exactly the way that it did. I'm literally telling this
• 54:33
  story right now. The feeling is, like, exactly like you said, Ash,
• 54:36
  it needed to happen that way. Do I feel good about it?
• 54:41
  Hell no. Like, I was, like, looking. I look back at myself
• 54:45
  and go, wow, are you kidding me? There was a
• 54:49
  million things that I could have done differently and maybe turn that thing around so
• 54:53
  that Martin and I would have a connection. Were you friends with Martin before the
• 54:58
  lawn incident? No, no, that was just another one
• 55:01
  of the things. We had always wanted to move into this neighborhood,
• 55:05
  and we heard about Steve and Amber moving in, and then they had
• 55:09
  told us. We were at dinner with them at another couple's house,
• 55:12
  and they told us the story about the Martin and the trees,
• 55:16
  that he came over and was like, hey, you guys are new in the neighborhood,
• 55:19
  blah, blah, blah. I think it's really good. Blah, blah, blah. You have heard about
• 55:22
  him before? Yeah, yeah. And then I also heard him through cousin Lena.
• 55:26
  Did I tell you about cousin Lena? No. So cousin Lena is
• 55:30
  Denise's cousin Elizabeth's daughter.
• 55:34
  And they moved to Philly when Elizabeth got divorced from
• 55:38
  her husband in Israel. Have I told you about Israel?
• 55:42
  No. Yeah. The grammar of Israel. Well,
• 55:45
  yes. Yeah. So Elizabeth was a Muscovite, meaning she was
• 55:49
  born in Moscow, and then she moved to Israel, met this American
• 55:53
  trumpet player from Cleveland,
• 55:56
  and they had Lena. It was nasty marriage,
• 56:00
  and they moved to Philly. And Lena went
• 56:04
  to the Jewish day school because she was Israeli and her mom wanted
• 56:08
  her to have connection with other Jews. Right.
• 56:11
  And Lena became friends with one of Martin's daughters,
• 56:15
  five kids. And then when we get together with Elizabeth and Lena,
• 56:19
  she would talk, like. Way after the fact.
• 56:22
  No, this is way before. Oh, way before. Way before. Yeah.
• 56:26
  Before I ever actually. Well, before I even moved into the
• 56:30
  neighborhood. So we knew about Martin,
• 56:33
  and Lena was not a big fan of Martin
• 56:37
  because she's like, oh, his house is so big and he's got all these paintings.
• 56:41
  They're from, like the 15th century, and it's really dark
• 56:45
  and brooding and it's not light and life giving. You know,
• 56:49
  she was just saying all these things. So, like, those are the initial impressions before
• 56:53
  I actually met the guy anyway. So I just wasn't really cool
• 56:57
  about the whole thing about. Do you like Short grass.
• 57:01
  If so, the paws might not be
• 57:05
  worship. Coming to you live
• 57:09
  from Knoxville, not actually.
• 57:12
  Where are we from? We are in Knoxville. Oh, from Knoxville,
• 57:16
  Tennessee, on the road. On Interstate 75 north from
• 57:20
  Chattanooga,
• 57:22
  ACM. Radio,
• 57:25
  thepaws.ali to
• 57:29
  you.com, to you, to. You, to you and you.
• 57:33
  Dot com. You've been listening to the pause on radio KCM
• 57:39
  Knox Paul.
• 57:43
  Coming to the past in the future of the present
• 57:48
  on the pause. Radio KCM
• 57:52
  Knoxville. Look at that spider.
• 57:58
  Y' all see, this says Do Not Enter. And that sign right there has a
• 58:02
  big Do Not Enter. Why are we still here so many times after
• 58:06
  being told, do not enter. Do not enter.
• 58:09
  Wrong way. Do not enter. Where do we go, folks, except exactly
• 58:13
  toward the sign. So which way should we go? Do not enter or do
• 58:17
  not enter? Oh, shit. There are two. There's three on this side that way.
• 58:21
  That one's vertical. So that's appealing. It doesn't
• 58:25
  matter, because they're both gonna lead to the truth.
• 58:30
  I was like, you got some points on that one. You can't award
• 58:34
  me. We're in the new world. Oh, no points. No points.
• 58:37
  No points. You don't see points? No points. Are you
• 58:42
  trying to tell me that I need to enunciate? No, I'm saying that you got
• 58:46
  lots of stuff coming out of your tongue. Cause I have stuff coming out
• 58:50
  of my tongue. I'm talking. Is that
• 58:54
  what you're saying? No, I don't know what you're saying. No. I think you need
• 58:57
  a drink. I think that's your tongue. What? Your tongue Looks like.
• 59:03
  I do need water. Thank you for being my body for me.
• 59:07
  Water. Thank God for water.
• 59:11
  There's something amok today.
• 59:14
  That's an intuition. Okay, but something feels amok.
• 59:18
  Warning sign. It's not just a. Oh, yeah. What she's
• 59:22
  saying. She's the one we need to. There's a lot. Okay, Amy,
• 59:26
  you lead the way. We don't know where to go right now. Warning. No entry.
• 59:30
  Enter. Do not. Wrong way. Do not enter.
• 59:34
  There's a lot of wager.
• 59:42
  But it's contrary to how they normally do radio.
• 59:48
  Go like this. Ah, that's inside the shirt. That's a left loud
• 59:51
  noise inside the shirt. Running. It is so loud. Have you tested
• 59:56
  it? No. Play back what we've gotten.
• 1:00:00
  Okay. How are your feet? You need back in the shade.
• 1:00:04
  Hey, let's go to that shade. Just see what's over there while you all replay