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Study Hall: How to Deal With Trauma · Earn Your Leisure

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from Al Salvador
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Donald J.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Trump's leadership.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I'm Christy nom the United States Secretary of Homeland Security.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Under President Trump, attempted illegal border crossings are at the
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: lowest levels ever recorded, and over one hundred thousand illegal
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: aliens have been arrested. If you are here illegally, your
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: next you will be fined nearly one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: and deported.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: You will never return.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: But if you register using our CBP home app and
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: leave now, you could be allowed to return legally.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Do what's right. Leave now.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Under President Trump, America's laws, border and families will be protected.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: I saw this video that came out yesterday and it
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: was from Love and Hip Hop and this lift a
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: little scrappy in his mom and I wanted to share
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: this because it was very powerful, but I also want
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: to kind of break it down as well, so I
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: play it now house.
• 1:15
  Speaker 5: I grew up in a trap house, so all I
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: knew was that, you know what I'm saying, And I
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: love you because you held it down, like you did
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: what you had to do.
• 1:22
  Speaker 6: But imagine you.
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: You never had You never had to sleep with your
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: mama twenty four seven because you couldn't go in your room. Okay,
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: you never had to walk in on U dope. Yeah,
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: you never had to walk in on un Just you
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: know what I'm saying.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: The way I was.
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: Raised, I had to deal with that because everything that happened,
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: I had to deal with that. And I'm still dealing
• 1:45
  Speaker 5: with it because ain't nobody come and take me to
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: give me no help.
• 1:47
  Speaker 6: Ain't nobody got me no help.
• 1:49
  Speaker 5: I got learned about that when I got older.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: So do you want it real good?
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: Like this?
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: What this in my head?
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: In my head?
• 1:57
  Speaker 6: My whole life in my head I go through.
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: I can't even go to her hard, I can't go
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: to you, you horror.
• 2:06
  Speaker 6: So I'm on the concrete.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: But my grand Lord, So that's a very powerful clip.
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: I mean, I get emotional washing.
• 2:14
  Speaker 6: It's super powerful. So if you look at Scrappy and
• 2:18
  Speaker 6: you look at his mom.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: The reason why I really want to show this is
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: from the mother's end as well, because I see a
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: lot of responses like Mama D doesn't care Mama D.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: Mama D is stuck in trauma response. Scrappy shared he
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: experienced growing up with her, but there's another side to it.
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: Her with Mama D experience growing up and trauma. Beguess trauma.
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: So Scrappy is right in being able to one share
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: that experience and be vulnerable with his mom.
• 2:51
  Speaker 6: In that way.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: But there's again there's a there's a reason why Mama
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: D is probably acting the way that she's acting. And
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: I guarantee you if you go back into these maps here,
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: we can start to see where she's probably at. Let's
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: go back here. So if you ever watched Love and
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: Hip Hop and you're seeing Scrappy Scrappy, you can tell
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: he's been in a fight or flight pattern. You know,
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: he's always fighting. Seems like he's always fighting. And again
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: that behavior is not conscious. That is unconscious behavior. And
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: this is why we say do the healing work, is
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: so that you can break that pattern and start to
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: exhibit new behaviors and This is what he's trying to
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: do by trying to talk to his mother about what
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: he experienced. He's trying to break a pattern. But one
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: thing he said is he said, you know, I haven't.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: I'm still dealing with it. It's yet because it's in
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: your body. You see the emotional response for him, it's
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: in his body. So even after that event, he may
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: walk away and that may feel good that he was
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: able to share that, but you still got it. Empty
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: the cup out. You still have to empty the cup
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: of the body. And we're going to talk about that.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: So let me move go forward. So if anybody can
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: ask questions too, this is open form at this point.
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: So I grew up, move forward because I want to
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: show this in terms of stimulus response. We live in
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: a stimulus response feedback loop. So when you take a
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: look at our culture, you look at again, let's talk
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: about the imbalanced brain. If you look to the top
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: left there that's the left side and the right side
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: the right side, you see an over activation that has
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: to do with being stuck in the sympathetic which is
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: the fight flight response. So I say that this gentleman
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: here that's called them Dante, I say that Dante grew
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: up in an environment where there was stimulus, stimulus that
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: that caused him to go into fight or flight. And
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: what that stimulus may look like is it can look
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: like being abused. It could look like being abandoned. It
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: can look like being bullied. It can look like, you know,
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: having absentee parents. It could look like having mental you know,
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: parents with mental illness. It can look like having a
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: parent who was in prison. It can look like many
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: different things to activate that that response, that fight or
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: flight response.
• 5:10
  Speaker 6: And now that he's stuck, and then you start to
• 5:12
  Speaker 6: look at what are the what are the.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: Physical reactions that take place, the physical reactions, and you
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: can start to think about this for yourself too, and
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: stain your body as I call.
• 5:21
  Speaker 6: These things out. Elevated shoulders, where are your shoulders at
• 5:25
  Speaker 6: right now? Tight neck? Where's your neck? Clint's jaw? Are
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: you Clinton?
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: Ernest?
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: What's up?
• 5:31
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• 5:34
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• 5:37
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• 7:20
  Speaker 1: An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from Al Salvador
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Donald J.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Trump's leadership.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I'm Christy nom the United States Secretary of Homeland Security.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Under President Trump, attempted illegal border crossings are at the
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: lowest levels ever recorded, and over one hundred thousand illegal
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: aliens have been arrested. If you are here illegally, your
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: next you will be fine nearly one thousand dollars a day,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: imprisoned and.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Deported, you will never return.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: But if you register using our CBP home app and
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: leave now, you could be allowed.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: To return legally. Do what's right. Leave Now.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Under President Trump, America's laws, border and families.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Will be protected.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security.
• 8:21
  Speaker 6: Do you grind your teeth? Do you have back pain?
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: That you can explain a lot of people stuff from
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: back pain. They think I lifted something, but really back
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: pain can also happen from as an emotional stress response,
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: trauma response as well, joint aches, balling of your fist,
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: that's very common overall, body stiffness, holding your breath, gas
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: or intentional issues and shape.
• 8:43
  Speaker 6: These are the physiological.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: Responses that take place in the body when we keep
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: having stress, chronic stress, or stuck in a stress response.
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: But then let's talk about the emotional side and how
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: this shows up in your life. Difficulty managing money. I
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: like how that's the first first one, specifically because we're
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: on a platform that's all about financial literacy, right, A
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: part of our issue is not just financial literacy just
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: because you know, okay, I know how to make money,
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: but do you know how to manage money? Do you
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: know how to keep money? And that's been our biggest thing.
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: We know how to we know how to get money,
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: Like look at this spending though, and whatever we spending
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: the money on. Well, if you look at the top, right,
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: those physiological symptoms, you're going to try to self soothe yourself.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: And what's the best way to self soothe, well, to spend.
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: You're going to spend your way out of pain, right,
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: And spending your way out of pain might look like
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: and I've talked about on the last class. It may
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: look like retail therapy. It may look like overeating over
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: consuming food. It may look like you have out of
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: the top ten websites in the world, three of them
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: are porn. And so if you start to look like
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: we're self soothing in these ways, we're trying to alleviate
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: the symptomology. We just have bad choices in terms of
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: a bad we're using the wrong resources to do so.
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: Can you still hear me being overly self reliant? Now,
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: this was pushed in our community for independent women to
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: be independent, and those are just trauma responses as well.
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: And I'm not saying independent overly self reliant. Independence is fine,
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: but interdependence is more resourceful.
• 10:34
  Speaker 6: I need you, you need me.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: Struggling to achieve goals, things like procrastination are known as
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: trauma responses. The whole idea of people are lazy. Those
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: are just trauma responses body image issues. That's very big
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: in our community now. Everybody's running to fix their bodies
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: because that's the way that we can get attention. Attention
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: has become a new currency. So what do you need
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: that attention for? Well, what's the basic thing that you
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: need attention for. It's another way of self soothing is
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: to have the attention from others because it makes.
• 11:08
  Speaker 6: You feel, can make.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: You feel whatever that may be confident or love. But again,
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: all of these have diminishing returns. These these things that
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: we do to try to really solve the issue has
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: a diminished return and a long run is not helpful.
• 11:25
  Speaker 6: It's helpful in the upfront, but.
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: In a long run you may be spending more time
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: getting getting more surgeries. This is what you see with
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: plastic surgery specifically in like Hollywood.
• 11:37
  Speaker 6: You see that is never enough.
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: Once you go in try to fix one thing, and
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: you next fixing ten other things, and now you look
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: like you should join witness protection. Nobody can even nobody
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: knows who you are. And we've seen that. Look, all
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: the stuff that we see in our community is like
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: right in front of our faces and it's all mental
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: health related emotional decision making.
• 12:03
  Speaker 6: We see a lot of that, making.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: Bad decisions based on an emotional state of being. That's
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: not something you wanted to do. Inflexible dating standards. Oh,
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: this is like really big right now within our community
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: as well, where people feel like they have to have
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: a list of all these attributes and that person looks perfect.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: Perfectionism itself is a trauma response. So imagine when you're
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: looking for the perfect person. You know you're looking for
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: the perfect person for you, but the person is not perfect,
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: and that perfect person is not going to save you.
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: And that perfect person is not going to change those
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: physiological responses, nor are those middle emotional issues for you.
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: This is the work that we have to do to
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: begin to overcome that.
• 12:49
  Speaker 6: Let's go next.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from El Salvador
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: filming and selling child pornography in Michigan.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: These are just.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Donald J.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Trump's leadership. I'm Christy Noman, the.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: United States Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: illegal border crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: and over one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: If you are here illegally, your next you will be
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: fine nearly one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned, and deported.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: You will never return.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: But if you register using our CBP home app and
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: leave now, you could be allowed to return legally.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: Do what's right, leave now.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Under President Trump, America's laws, border and families will be protected.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security,