Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / 3 reasons why a narcissist leaves you for someone else

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3 reasons why a narcissist leaves you for someone else · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're talking about why would a narcissist leave you for
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  someone else? Why do they find?
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  Why do they go out to try to find a new supply in the 1st
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  place? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code. So welcome back, welcome back,
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  welcome back folks. Yes, yes, yes.
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  Narcissistic toxic people. Why the hell would they leave a
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  perfect, seemingly perfectly good relationship for a new
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  supply? Why would they leave you for
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  someone else? Like, what is the point of it?
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  Like why why, why, why, why, why Why do narcissists always seem
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  to want to leave a good place for a better place in their
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  minds? Because y'all, newness.
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  Newness. NEWNESSI don't even know if
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  that's a word, but we're going, we're going to coin it as a word
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  today. Newness.
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  They love the newness of everything.
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  They love these situations where they are allowed to be who they
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  want to be. They all they love starting from
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  scratch. They love a clean slate.
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  They love a clean slate, y'all. Like if your relationship has
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  been full of turmoil and abuse and drama and lies and cheating
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  on their side of things. They love to start over with
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  someone that doesn't know who they are.
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  If I can go out here and find someone that doesn't know who I
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  am and what I actually am about and what I actually like to do,
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  it's perfect for me. Now, there are a few other
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  reasons that we'll go over in detail later, but the main
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  reason is the newness. I get A yeah, nothing like it
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  benefits a narcissist so much to have a fresh start.
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  It just does. If I have been with you for
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  10/11/12, thirteen years and it's 10121113 years, Has it had
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  some good times? Yes.
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  There. There's been good times in this
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  in this period, right, But there's been a lot of bad.
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  There's been a ton, a metric ton of bad times in this
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  relationship. Like it's unbelievable how many
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  bad times we've had, right? It's it's really is unbelievable
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  how many bad times that we've had in this relationship, right?
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  So we like this relationship is damn near dirty as hell, right?
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  The relationship is dirty. I want a clean relationship.
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  Like I, I look at this relationship like I've done so
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  much that I don't think you trust me anymore.
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  I've done so much to you that I don't think you trust me
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  anymore. You know, I've done, I've put
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  you through so much that I don't trust you anymore because I know
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  you don't trust me. Like I walk around like, and
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  this is going to sound stupid, not stupid, it's going to sound
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  crazy, but the narcissist could be walking around on egg shells.
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  The narcissist lady, How the hell are they walking around on
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  egg shells? The narcissist could be walking
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  around on egg shells. I know it sounds crazy, but they
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  could absolutely be walking around on egg shells feeling
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  like they can't be themselves because you know too much about
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  them. Like you know way too much about
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  them. So they feel like they can't be
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  themselves. So they feel like they're
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  walking around on egg shells in a toxic like they, they might
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  feel like you're the toxic person.
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  And again, I know that that sounds stupid.
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  I know that that sounds dumb, but because they don't, they
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  know you don't trust them. And now you're hyper vigilant,
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  right? You're watching their every
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  move, you're going through their phone constantly, you're
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  watching where they go constantly.
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  You're calling and texting them to see where they are, what time
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  they'll be there, who they're with constantly, right?
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  You are doing this constantly. So now they're walking on egg
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  shells. Now they have to hide more
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  stuff. They have to hide who they are
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  more. They have to hide what they
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  actually want to do more, right? So I have to hide all of this
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  stuff. Why would I do that, right?
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  Why would I hide all of this stuff if I'm able to just start
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  from scratch with somebody else? Like I don't have to hide this
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  stuff from somebody else. And you on the other side of
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  things, you think like, hey, if I stay through this, if I stick
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  through the BS, if I manifest, if I, if I stick through the BS,
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  if I make it through the BS, we'll be good on the other side
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  of things. No, no, yo, so many people get
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  into their heads, get into their minds that some reason struggle,
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  love is good. Like we made it through this
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  struggle. So our relationship is worth
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  more than your relationship. Hell no.
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  Are there going to be small struggles in a lot of
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  relationships? Yes.
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  We out. These are not struggles.
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  These are wars. These are wars.
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  These are straight violations that they put you through and
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  they know that they're putting you through it.
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  So they feel like I need to find a new person that I can have a
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  clean slate with, that I can start over fresh with that.
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  I don't have to worry about this anymore.
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  I don't have to walk on egg shells because you are.
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  This new person doesn't know who I am, but guess who does know
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  who I am? You do.
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  You know who I am? You know exactly who I am.
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  You know what I've been, you know, you know what I've done to
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  you. You know what I've put you
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  through, right? But guess who doesn't?
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  This new person, they have no earthly idea who I am, what I've
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  done, what I've put you, what I've put them through, right?
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  They have no idea. None.
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  So I have a fresh I can build a whole new character.
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  Like if it's an acting job, I can build a whole new character
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  with this person because they don't know who I am.
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  You do you know exactly who I am.
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  They don't clean slate. Another reason why narcissists
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  go out and find new supply is because, yeah, narcissists
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  suffer from chronic boredom. I'm not saying that you're
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  boring, but they suffer from chronic boredom.
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  Like they get bored very easily, right?
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  So I if I get bored very easily, I'm going to want to find new
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  people. I'm going to want to try to get
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  rid of this boredom. So I go out and find somebody
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  else. I go out and find somebody else
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  to do what I want them to do, to say what I want them to say to,
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  to put, I put these people in a position that I want to put them
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  in because I want them in that position, right?
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  I need them in that position. I do, I want them there, I need
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  them here. So that's what happens in a lot
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  of these types of relationship dynamic y'all.
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  And I've been telling y'all, when I tell y'all that
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  narcissists don't get better over time.
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  That's exactly what I mean, that the more you go back to them,
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  the more you forgive them, the worse it will get, the worse it
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  will get. And I tell y'all that from the
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  bottom of my heart because I'm not trying to hurt y'all's
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  feelings, but I'm telling y'all that from the bottom of my heart
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  because it will get worse. Because they think they can get
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  away with things if they go find a new supply.
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  Just because they go find a new supply doesn't mean that they
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  will leave you alone. Hey, I found a new supply.
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  I'm going doesn't mean that they're going to walk away from
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  the relationship or leave you alone in any type of in any type
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  of space. They will keep messing with you.
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  They will keep doing things to you.
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  They really, really will. So they get bored and they want
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  to go find somebody new. Another thing, another reason
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  why they will go find new supply is because they feel like
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  they're missing out on missing out on something.
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  Fear of missing out is real FOMO.
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  So many people refer to this as FOMO because that's what is
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  commonly referred to as FOMO, the fear of missing out.
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  They feel like they're going to miss out on something by being
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  with you, by marrying you, by putting down roots with you.
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  They feel like they're going to miss out on life because they're
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  missed it because of this FOMO, this fear of missing out.
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  This happens so much. This does.
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  This is the space that so many people fall into.
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  Like they feel like you might y'all, you might be doing the
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  best you can do. You might fit them perfectly
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  right now, but in their minds, they're like, there's somebody
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  out there that might just fit me better.
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  There's somebody out there that might be better for me.
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  So they guess what? They have this fear of missing
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  out on their person. So they leave you to find
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  somebody else or they leave you when they find somebody else
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  that thinks that they fit them better.
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  But again, this fear of missing out also applies to you.
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  This fear of missing out applies to you as well.
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  Because it sounds silly. They feel like if they go
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  through, if they leave you for this new person, right?
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  If they leave you for this new person, they have a fear of
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  missing out on you, like you might have been the correct
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  person, so they leave you for this new person.
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  If this new person doesn't work out, they have a fear of missing
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  out on you, so they keep you around.
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  They won't let you go. Just because they leave you for
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  somebody else doesn't mean they will.
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  They will release you and let you go live your life.
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  You know they will live. They will.
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  They won't release you. They'll keep you around and they
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  won't let you go. This is what happens.
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  So many people can get into their minds like I just feel
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  like I was special. I feel like this.
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  I feel like that. Y'all please stop letting these
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  narcissistic abusers abuse you emotionally, mentally,
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  physically because they feel like they're winning in these
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  circumstances. They feel like they're winning
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  in these situations. They feel like they're getting
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  away with so much when you take them back.
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  If they I know I fell off the screen.
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  If they leave you for someone else and you take them back,
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  they feel like every single thing that they've ever done to
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  you is justified and you're OK with it.
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  And even if you look at me and say, Lee, well, we're not OK
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  with it. Even if you look at me and say
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  Lee, well, I'm not OK with it, in their minds you are.
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  Because why you take me back if you're not OK with it, you must
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  have a fear of missing out on me as well.
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  I know I have a fear of missing out on you, but you have a fear
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  of missing out on me, so you take me back.
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  So they think everything is forgiven, everything is worked
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  out, and you can never bring up the past.
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  If this situation happens, if this situation transpires, it
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  gets worse. You can never bring up the past.
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  If you take them back, you can never bring up the past.
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  Do you understand that? What I'm saying it right there
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  to you. If you bring up the past, you
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  lose. Let's just keep it hot and
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  ready, like a lose, like a Little Caesar's pizza.
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  If you bring up the past, you lose.
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  You know they're going to argue with you, they're going to fuss
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  with you they're going to fight with you that's just the way it
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  goes so anyway, y'all, thanks for tuning in to the other
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• 11:32
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• 11:35
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• 11:54
  Peace.