Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #74 The Party Of The Century!

Transcript

#74 The Party Of The Century! · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Question for you is how often do you shave your
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: pubic hair?
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: I never fools shave it like bald. No trim, trim, trim, umm,
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: when every I'm feeling tasty.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to two Notting Dads. I'm Mattie Jay. This
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: it is the bad and the relatable. If you've come
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: wanting any advice, don't do it. Don't do it. Stop
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: right now.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: It's about how often to shave your pubic hairs?
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Well, how how often do you? On average? Do you think?
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: How often are we?
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: It's sporadic. I'm a sporadic shaver. I don't have like
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: a set routine. I'm finding that body maintenance is becoming
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: harder and harder. It's like I've got to do one
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: thing a week. If I do it all at once,
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: then I've got to do it all again at once.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: You've got to stagger it out.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: What else is than your maintenance routine?
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: Facial shave, trimm of the mustache.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: My fingernails grow incredibly fast, like I'm cutting them once
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: a week.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Do you have a second trimmer for your face?
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: Fuck? Though, yeah?
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Good, okay, great.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: I like the smell.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: God this morning, I need a little trim ashes coming over.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I was like, IM gonna look good for ash and
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I was running a little bit of head of schedule,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: and I was like, well, whilst I'm here, I'm in
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: the bathroom. It's been a long time since I've shaved downstairs.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, it's getting pretty bad. It's pretty
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: out of control. And then just hey, I was like,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: trim my chest hair.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: You've done the whole bit hair. And then I was
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: in a selfish wink.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: I didn't intend for this chat to get weirdly.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: I do that. I can do that. I can turn
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: anything into that.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: You're very good at it.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Thank you, very good at it, so she said, before
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: we do continue, of course we are drinking a We're
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: back to the old Pacific or pack Al, Pacific al
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: by stone and wood, lovely floral turns. I would say,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Matt that the Pacific Al it's one of those beers
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: that you can introduce to those people that don't really
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: like beers that much because of it's floral, fruity aromas
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: and Mat it's just the mouth feeling it.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Laura is a funny one when it comes to beer.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: There's only like certain times, certain days of the month
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: where Laura is like, I feel like a beer. I
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: don't know when it happens, it's just every now and
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: then she'll be like, do you know what I feel
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: like a beer?
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: It's be like my mom, Yeah, it's weird.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Like on a Sunday afternoon, Laura all of a sudden
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: will just be like, get me a beer. Where's this
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Stone and Wood? And this is the one actually likes.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: This is the pacific Ale is a favor.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: And I don't blame because it is they say, easy, approachable,
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: and refreshing.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: This is the go to.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: This is the beer that puts Stone and Wood on
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: the map and was the first s pacific Al on
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: the market and created a whole new style.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: It was a pioneer, a pioneer, if you will, ash yes,
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: and of course cheers to that, and thanks to Stone
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: for making this episode possible.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: D Lightful, what's news, Matt?
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Just battling illness in my family.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: I haven't seen you in a couple of days. It
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: feels like you're always battling illness in this house.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Why would you say that you were sick the other day?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Was I?
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: Yes, it was sick. This time, it goes around in circles.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: It was Laura.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Laura was sick.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: It was it was the burn the queen has fallen.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure if it was a food poisoning. Could
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: have been Gashtro We're not quite sure.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Ash give me the symptoms.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: She feels a bit queasy, although it's hard because she.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: S narrows it right down.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: She's always just a bit queasy dairy.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: Usually it's probably undiagnosed. Iba, it probably is.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: You're not wrong, And I swear it was only like
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: the other day that I said to myself, gosh, I've
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: had a good run of not vomiting. Vomiting is like
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: my least favorite of the omens.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: It's great for your abs.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I absolutely hate vomiting. Anyways, Laura was feeling queezy. She's like,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I don't I don't know if I'm going to vomit.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I think I might vomit. And then I was kind
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: of like, after a while, I was like, look, just go.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Vomit didn't make you want to feel like vomiting.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I felt fine, And then I was like, am
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: I sick?
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Do I want to vomit? Anyway? That night she got up,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: went to the bathroom, started vomiting. It happened.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: It happened more than once. Yeah, it happened a couple
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: of times.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: What about the squirts?
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, squirts too, both ends. Yeah, it was coming out.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: It was messy. It was not good. So it's a nightmare.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: And also you don't make it even worse. Had a green curry?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Oh I had a green curry for dinner. Yeah, so
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: like spicy coconuty mill.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Really, all the things have been concocted here. It's one
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: really bad storm.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, spewish.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: And then I was also like, it's a fucking matter
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: of time now before I get taken.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: And the kids, the kids.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: I was also looking at the kids being like, you
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: guys have no idea what's coming your way.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: It's just a waiting game.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like, dang, what's wrong.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: And I was like, it's like bary belly, isn't it.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: It's just a matter of time.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was trying to be positive.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: Do you just stay away from her?
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: Well?
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: So yeah, so the next day she stayed at home,
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: she didn't go to work. She was in recovery mode.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: And then I think it takes more than twenty four
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: hours to overcome that kind of illness.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: She's very weak, very weak.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Ah yeah, she was the shell of her former self.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: Unless you're like properly hydrated.
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: She was.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: She was slightly yellowish as well. She was that unwell
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: she was, and she smelled anything else. Smell was in describable.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: I could smell it downstairs.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: And then she was on the couch and she's like,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go to bed, and I was like, okay,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: good night. She's like, are you gonna kiss me or not?
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, what fuck?
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: No you mean?
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: And she's like, you've just given me no love?
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Oh my, what is she serious?
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: If ever there was a time for no affection, it's
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: right now. This is a game of survival.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: It's just going to transmit whatever it is like immediately.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, don't fucking drag me down with you.
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Then what, I'm going to be sick and you're going
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: to be like bye, I'm going to go to work.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: It's like if you were hanging from a crevass, right,
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: and Laura was dangling beneath me and she was attached
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: to me with a rope. I was prepared to cut her, okay.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: Save me? No?
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I was like, there is no benefit and
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: both of us going down.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: It's like with the Titanic, rose on the door, yes
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: and Jack sings that.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Don't ruin the movie in case I've not seen it.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: If you haven't seen Titanic, people are like, oh, come on,
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: I've been waiting for that exactly.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, save one. Don't both go down anyway. So I
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: was like, you're not getting any affection, please, And I
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: was like, is this Laura talking or the virus because
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: you love me? Yeah? I was like, you've taken over
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: right now. Anyways, we had sex.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: And I was sick for days afterwards.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: No, I'm still touch wood.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're in that like a couple of days either
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: side of Like, could I.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: Still get it? Is it still lingering? Do you change
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: your sheet? I know?
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Well, the next night I ended up sleeping in Lola's bed.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, ground floor of the bunk beds.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Ground floor bunk bed with Lola. Oh, first time I ever.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: So she allowed you in?
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: She allowed me in. Well, she was a little bit like,
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: what the fuck are you doing here?
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: If you get up on that top with Marley, look for.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: It sounds I've been up there a few times sometimes
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: She's like, hop, hop up here, and I get up
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: there and it's like it's like a ship that's just creaking.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: And also I feel bad because Lola is underneath.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: Imagine yeah, and it would be squashed Lola.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So I don't normally got their ground floors where
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I'm at, but Lola's she's very hard to read.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: I can't She's the queen gas.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: I can't pick it. I slept and she said hold
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: my foot, so I was okay, so like hold her
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: foot and then she goes blanket and I put a
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: blanket on and she goes too much. One foot is
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: under the blanket up to the knee. The other foot
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: I'm holding outside the blanket. I'm just like on eggshells,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: being like.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: It's like a game of twister or whatever. Right foot rent.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Very uncomfortable. I finally get to a point where she's happy,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: and I'm like on my tippy toes like upside down,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: making sure that she's happy. We got there. In the end,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: terrible night's sleep for me. It was not good.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: So you're back. You're back in there the marital bed
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: and she's okay.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: So far dodged the gashtro so far, so far so good.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Well for me, Matt, I'm a little bit tired too,
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: not from illness. I would say last night, I was
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: like really pumped to go to bed, get a good
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: night's sleep. But when you do that usually that's when
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: sit hits a fan and I think it about I'd
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: fallen asleep and it was about ten ten thirty and
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: he oscar bellowing out anyway, So with the moment, because
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: he's still in nappies at night, we're trying to get
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: him to do a wee right before he goes to sleep.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: But he's still got a nappy on just in case.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: So we go in the bathroom do a wee, and
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: with a boy, you gotta make sure it's tucked down
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: after so then.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: When he does we it gets absorbed.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: He must have so like if he has the willy
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: facing upwards, yes, it did, we like over and out
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: the nappy And that's.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: Exactly what happened.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: So he's woken up in the middle of the night
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: and he's like, I've weeded on myself, and it.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: Just so happens that his dick was hanging out at
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: the top of it.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: And he's wheed all over himself and I'm like, oh fuck,
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Like it was pungent too at that time of night.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: And then I was like, okay, whatever, just got him
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: change trying to get Mathie asleep, got him changed, wiped
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: him down a little bit, just left the bed, and
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I was like, go and just go and get in
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: my bed. After all this time, he's sleep in his
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: bed on now he's back in the mind anyway, he's
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: in there.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: A few hours later, he's like starts crying, like what's
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: wrong with you? And it's my foot?
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: The poor kid must have growing pains in his foot.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: But he also does this thing where he holds his breath.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Where he's like.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: What's that for?
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: What's that? Because he's trying not.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: To cry, and I'm like, just let it out breet.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: Like two o'clock this morning.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: He's like, who's taught him there?
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know anyway, So we're up for an hour
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: and a bit there trying to deal with that and
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: he's just like my foot.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: I'm like, what if I rub a bed? That doesn't help.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: Like I'm just like eventually I was just like, lay
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: down and shut up.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: There's only so much soft parenting you can do before
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: you're like do you want to get back into the
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: bed of piss or not.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: So both instances easy an how to get back to sleep.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: And then this morning April, who slept through a majority
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: of this, she was like, did.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: I go we the bed last night?
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, well you didn't when the bed
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: was being wet. You did it as a one man job. Yeah,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: you went in solo, got done. Can I just for
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: a second, I want to applaud that. That is thank you,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: well done, Thank you. Did you think about calling for
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: help or you just thought no, this is by myself.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: I don't ever thought it was an option to be honest,
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: now that you've said this, she's in big trouble for
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: not helping.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: It's big brownie points.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: Just now it's down the office doating.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: God you are you are fully fledged doting dad right now.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: Anyway, this morning, when April was quiet.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I've never been so attracted to you than right now.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, thank thank you. April decided this
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: morning to ask me about what happened.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Did she start accusing?
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: She started asking me a million questions like I was like,
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: it was CSI. She was asking me like why how?
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: When I'm like, babe, I was half asleep. I dressed
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: him and put him in the room and you didn't
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: even move.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: She's there like tasting the wheel. She's like, that's pretty much.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: That tastes like you.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: She was like broken up the bed like a crime scene,
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: and I was just like, what are you accusing me of?
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: But these clothes were covered in it. It was But anyway,
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: that's why I was just a little bit tired. Hence,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: while you probably thought I might have been hungover, No,
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: a little bit baggy eyed, a little bit baggy. Today
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I'm tired as well because I did take the kids
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: to the city the other day for a couple of nights,
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: just in the city. We'd live Hi when they never
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: get to enjoy the cbd've.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: Never been, never stayed. Now they have.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: They're exactly the same kids as they were before I
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: took them there.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: They're more worldly.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: But we went to the aquarium, the one in uh
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: Darling Sea.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: Life.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: If you will, I will see life.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: They've got the jew gong eats, a lot of salad,
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: and lots of penguins. They do have heaps of penguins,
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: I would say too many. Lots of penguin shit, lots
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: of penguin shit, especially when it comes up to the glass,
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: turns around, it just spits one out like put on
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: a show.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: Put on a show.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: But one thing that I noticed was kids get bored
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: of fish pretty quick.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I feel like kids get bored of everything pretty quickly.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: It's well designed, though, and that there's always something different,
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: like you know, four steps you get the penguins, and
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: other four steps get the sharks.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Another four stepsins again.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: But close to the end there's a thing called it's
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: like the rock pool that sounds great. First of all,
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: the starfish, surely they're sick of being touched.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know if starfish have a brain.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: I feel like I saw one starfish get prodded by
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: three or four drinking.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: They might be into it. The starfish might be like,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: don't stop.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: Lots of grubby mitts on these poor stuff.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: And I started to really bad. But there's one kid.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: So it's chest high, but there's a step for the kids,
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: and the lady.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: Was saying, you lay your chest over if you want
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: to touch something further over. This kid didn't quite understand it.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: He was on all fours in the rock. I was
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: trying to get a photo stop it. He was in
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: knees in the water, stepping on the urchins, like walking
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: up and just like couldn't get this kid out of
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: the thing.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: And I was like, well, what the security doing.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: There's no security.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Parents are meant to be pulling their kids.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Both parents were grabbing onto the kids back of the shirt,
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: like stop, and this kids is just like stamping through.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Any starfish survive, no confirmed kills. I feel like starfish,
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: they're not danger. They're fine, I think, But I think
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: the aquarium is prepared to lose a few starfish every day.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: I think I feel like there's a quota if they can,
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Like if they lose any like five or under is
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: a good day.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Hey don't grow on trees in the ocean.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: How do they procreate?
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Well, actually, the stars a line anyway, So this kid
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: ruined that that for everybody. The rock Pools is just
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: after the Penguin rollercoaster, so in there, I don't know
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: if you've seen it, you line up.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: There's six to a car.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I didn't do that to the line a huge This.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Is my point and I want to get your opinion
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: on this. And I overheard something that really grinded mcgear's.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: We didn't line up because I thought, two little kids,
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: don't They don't want to give a fuck about this.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: They want to say the penguins will keep going. But
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: the line was fucking ginormous, huge, and people were waiting
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: for a very long time. And then I heard this
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: guy say, Mum's just texted she's at the front of
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: the line, so we need to go back.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: And I thought it might just.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Be him, and he's a little kid. That's fine to me.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: There was him and seven other people that now were
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: going to be.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: At the front of the line.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, you get what I'm saying. Oh yeah, I
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: do understand.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Now the people that ask because of six to a cart,
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: that are in that six deep, all of a sudden
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: are now outside of the six being pushed down the
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: line because these other people.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: So just to confirm, you've got one person in line
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: who was then enabling a further like six people to
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: jump in seven seven, I apologize seven people to join
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: in to that queue.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: And those seven got to enjoy the rest of the
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: aquarium while everyone else, including kids behind and kids aren't
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: going to understand this. Why are seven people getting in
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: front of me on this line? Now?
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: I'm just waited an hour.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Dog act Dog act or Okay.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: It's it's a tricky one because I've actually been in
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: a situation where I have been the que jumper.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: But with seven people five.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, unintentional, unintentional. It was at a restaurant. We had
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: to line up like an IRSL and you had to order.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: A family member was at the start of the queue
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: or like two back from placing their order, and then
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: just unknowingly, one by one, we're kind of like, we're like, oh, like,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: Adam's there. So we joined in with Adam. And then
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: one guy was like who was behind us? Was like
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: what the fuck is this? Like how many years are
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: of you? And I was like, there's five. I can
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: appreciate that would be pretty annoying.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: For me. I wasn't in the line, so I just
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: observed it. That's all I do, is I observe.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I'm all for queuing.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Think of it like this, you're taking your day out
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: to take your kids to the aquarium. First of all,
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: it's a chore for you. You're not having a really
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: good time. You're enthusiastically pretending to have a good time
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: so that your kids are like, yeah, we're all having
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: an amazing time.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Don't pretend like you don't love the juugongs.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: I let a fish like my dicknote.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Gondn't be surprised if.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: It was a guppy.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's not on. I think it's not on.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I don't think you.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Shake the kids down that you're already like, come on,
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: get Trying to get them to stand in line for
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: their turn is hard enough.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: I think. I think if you are going to jump
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: in and meet someone who's been queuing, I think it
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: has to be maxed two people.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: I think past the immediate family, it's not on. So
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: for example, if we all went and Laura stood in line,
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: you and the girls will be able to go in.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: But for us, we didn't as a family stand in
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: that line, so we are not entitled to that position
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: in that line.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: When did you become such a cute vigilante just lately?
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Wow, two days ago.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: You were fucking getting old. Grinded my gears, you were
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: getting old. You know you're getting old when you start
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: having to go at other people.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: I didn't have a go. Well, I am now publicly.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: For it.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: No, I think it's great. I think it's great. I
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: think you're like at the stage of life. Now where
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: you'll start to you'll start to write angry notes on
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: people's cars who haven't parked properly.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: That's where you're going to become really into politics.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: That's that's where you're headed. You're about to When did
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: you last make a noise complaint for a neighbor?
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: I made a noise complaint. Oh, ten years ago. Actually
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: it was ten years ago.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Don't pretend like it wasn't last week. Hey, should we
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: talk about a topic that we've all come really to
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: hear about. Yes, the Party of the.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: Century, absolute Party of the century, the part the one
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: party of century.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: The poor kid gets.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Can I just say, I do want to say up front,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: you did a really fantastic job.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: Let's see it.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: Let's hear your thoughts on the whole party. I'll give
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: you the listeners what they want.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll talk about Ash as a swan because what
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: I saw was beautiful, elegant. I do know the under
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: the surface. The legs were running frantically because I woke
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: up on Saturday morning and it wasn't good.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: It was the weather was horrible, was pouring down.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: I've not seen rain like that in all my life.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: Do you know who we have to blame for that.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: The Facebook group.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: I said, everyone pray for good weather. Obviously no one
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: did because it was horrific.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: Could anyone write back to that post? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: but not enough, not enough.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: No.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: So if you're listening and you're not in the Facebook group,
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: shame on. You just ruined a young man's birthday.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it didn't really adjusted contingency.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: When did you make the call to change venues? Because hey,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: changing venues on the day it's no easy task.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: So I have been working tirelessly for this party. I
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: have been organizing tirelessly, no help from my wife April.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: She'd done nothing but worry, barely lifted a finger. She
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: just worried all week about the weather.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: And it's funny because she was like last week she
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: was all about manifestation and she was like, if.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: You say it, it'll happen.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: That's her thing, right, you just let's just go back
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: to Tuesday last week. Everyone what I recall And she's like,
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: I've written a new manifestation on the whiteboard in the
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: living room.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: If you speak it, it'll happen, or.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: Some shit like that I can't remember. And she was like,
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: so it's going to be a beautiful day on Saturday,
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, that's the spirit. I don't believe anything,
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: but I was like, I know what's good for me,
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: and that's to go along with it. And then Wednesday
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: comes along and she's on every weather app and she's like,
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: it's going to be fucked.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: It's gonna be fucked. The weekend's going to be fucked.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: Everything's going to be fucked. And I was like, what
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: happened to your manifestation up? You can't tell me it's
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: going to be.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: We need to stay strong.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: She was like, we need to have a backup in case.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: I'm like in case what She's like, it's going to rain,
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: it's fucked.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: But also you don't want to I remember when Marley
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: had her birthday, similar scenario where I woke up and
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I was like, this is a disaster and Nally was like,
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: but why it's my birthday. Why is it a disaster?
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: And You're like, shit, yeah, we've got to keep it,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: keep it positive in front of the kids.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: But I was like, you've written it on the board.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: You're trying to manifest and here you are talking about
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: a contingency plan.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Manifestation has just giving you the finger right now.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: So every day I was like, we'll leave it till
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: tomorrow and then if it's still because you.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: Know how the weather app can change.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: It's all a forecast and forecast his garbage, except on
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: this occasion just happened to me. On the day it
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: was clearing up. I had been in touch with the
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: venue being like, hey, I.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Thought you're going to say you've been in touch with
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: like department of me. He's the radar, correct, who is this?
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: I was in touch with the venue being like, look,
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: in case it's going to rain, I've got like thirty
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: kids lined up, I'm going to have to cancel.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: They were like, yeah, that's cool, no way that we understand.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I do have to ask the question. You couldn't bring
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: it indoors in the original venue.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: Nah, because there was no the playgrounds outside. And they
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: were like, if it's raining, we have to.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: For insurances close the playground.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: And it's obviously they're not don't want to be liable
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: for anything that happens. And on the day, so we're
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: anxiously waiting and then we were leaving the house a
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: little bit early because everyone just set up and the
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: sun was out and I was like, it was peep
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: at it.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm not going to say it was out. That
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: was a lie. It was peeping through. And I'm like,
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: this is perfect, It's going to be fine.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: We're good people, we deserve this. Yeah, we've done the
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: right thing. We're being rewarded with all the manifestation all week.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: Do you remember what time you received the text message
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: at the venue had changed.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: I think it was like two thirty and the.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Party was at three o'clock. Yeah, that's when we decided
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: to change the venue.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: Half hour out. We're actually driving there, halfway.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Up the Wacers Parkway, which is a well known road
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: on all the beaches of Sydney for those listening aren't
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: from Sydney, and we were halfway up and it pissed down,
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: and I think April and I were just waiting for
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: the other person to say we should change it.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: And I was like, let's change it.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Oscar in the car.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: Everyone's in the car, what's Oscar saying?
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: He was like, what's happening? And I just pulled over.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: We just did the big group messages and and I
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: messaged the venue saying we're gonna have to cancel because
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: of the rain. They were fine with it, so that's cool.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: But yeah, Oscar was like, what's happening? And I said, look,
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: we're just going to ask everyone to go to a
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: different place, which is the pit Water RSL, which they
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: have an indoor playground, knowing full well that that's where
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: everyone's going.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: To be today. It's raining. It's one of the only
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: places it's right now. Our house is great, but you
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: don't need a book, so we made that.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: Pittwater RSL was like the Noah's Ark of birthday party
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: venues everyone else isle.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: We got there and.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I was like I was, I wasn't very hopeful. Got
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: the car park was packed and it usually isn't. I
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, fuck, but a bad time. It's right
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: at the back.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: End of lunch.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: And then we went. I went inside, went up, went
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: to where the indoor playground is and the place was shockers.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: There was a fourth birthday there. They could see the
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: Big four balloon, but they had the whole area and
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: it was like family friends.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: It was overkill, if you ask me. And I was like, fuck,
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: what are we going to do?
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: And it's adjoining to a restaurant and I saw the manager.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: I've seen him a few times because I lived down
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: the road. I go there every now and then, which
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: is I just recognized him and I've spoken to him
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: before when we've had dinner there before, and he's a really.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: Let's be honest, you a big deal these days, mate, Yeah, let's.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: Be completely honest. Yeah, I'm a huge deal with pep Water.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: And I was like, hey, you're our contingency plan. We
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: can't fit out there. Can we have some of the
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: tables in the restaurant and he was like, you can
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: have this whole section. He was like, look, the kitchen
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: usually closes at three, We're going to keep.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: It open for you. And I was like, oh fuck.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: He was really accommodating, but she wasn't. The manager of
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: the cafe.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: She was like, yeah, but we have to reset, and.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: He was like, don't listen to her. It's all good.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: When we can move you into where the kid's playground
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: is because we need to reset for dinner service, We'll
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: just let you know.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: It's fine. It's not a big deal anyway.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: So we've set up there. Turnout it was it was
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: such a horrible day. It was nice and warm. The
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: kids took off into the playground and then we had
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: that another whole section that we'd moved the past of
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: the parcel and everything too, which was like barren as
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: it was, and everyone could it was actually worked out
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: so much better.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: It was perfect.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: That was so accommodating.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: And then closer to the end, he come, we need
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: to just set for dinner service and people were starting
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: to leave anyway, and.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: At that point you grabbed him and said, don't fucking
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: tell me what to do.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: We at that point and grabbed him.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: I kissed him on the mouth, and I said, you've
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: saved us, like.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: He was some sort of hero.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: What was his name.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: I'm calling him fat Pete because you know Pete from
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: the cafe. He looks like a fat version him. So
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: then we got he got an fat piece. But look,
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: if he is listening, you're not fat, you're burly, and
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: thank you. But also we did so we had past
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: the parcel, which April stayed up the night before, and
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: because she, I.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Did wonder because I can, I just say, it's not often,
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: not often. If he passed the parcel, often you have
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: the pinata past the parcel gets neglected, does.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: And it shall be neglected from here on out. Because
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: April the amount of complainings.
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: You did well wrapping that thing up. I was like,
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: I'll take over. She's like, you don't have the patience
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: for this.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like, she's keep checking the weather maps.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I've you're on weather, get out there with the rain,
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: rainarm outside, just check out. But she wrapped. She preempted
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: how many kids a bit and there was a lot.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Of kids there. There was like thirty kids.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: So she's layered thirty layers of this thing. By that,
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: She's used all the crypt Christmas wrappings she use, all
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: the birthday wrappings, she used, all the makes Now I
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: got early on set up right. I walk around the
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: house that is now like she's got two So I'm
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: doing the past the part. I got to the point
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: where I was just like the next kid, rip it open,
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: the most kid.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: The hard thing was you had a little portable speaker
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: to play the music for anyone who doesn't know how
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: past the parcel works. You play the music, you stop
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: the music. Whoever's holding the parcel unwraps it beautiful.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: I don't think anyone could have explained that better than you.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Lawless.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: There may be a few people out there who haven't
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: been a birthday parties. Now they've pictured it, but the
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: issue issue was the speaker was very soft.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we had to get who was like, who's
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: got the newest iPhone?
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: Pete to the rescue.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: It was just like you guys are just putting out
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: fires left, right and center. Although there was an issue
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: with past the parcel was this is me not putting
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: the finger like. There were a couple of kids who
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: didn't get an item to unwrap. They didn't get a turn,
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: didn't they yea a couple of kids.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I ended up just giving everyone something.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: You walked off and started singing Happy Birthday, and there
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: were like three kids were like it was a kinder
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: chocolate and a race car.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: Oh well there was some laying around. They could have
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: picked it up and got on.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think after once the cake was dished out,
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: shut them up.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing. The cake, well, what a massive cake.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: It was bigger than my wedding cake. So we got
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: it from a place called Kake Me Up in Narrabeen,
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: which thanks to the listeners I put the call out.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: They said try this place. Keeping in mind I did
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: zero research.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: That's how easy I am.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: And I'm just like out there and someone's like, where's
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: the closest cake?
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: And it was great. It was very very good. And
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: then yeah, everyone packed up and I went home with
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: a car.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: Full of presents and Oscar is very happy, went off
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: to bed success.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Did he like my present?
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: Uh? Yeah, that's I've got to grow up with you
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: on that. What do you mean beautiful threads? Got some
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: new clothes. But I've noticed that you've tried to dress
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: my child like you.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: It's a jumper out a T shirt.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: It's very nice. It's very nice.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: Also a certain style, very like.
• 30:09
  Speaker 5: It's a stripe jumper, very yachtsman, very like I've just
• 30:12
  Speaker 5: got off my boat sort of style. He looks cute
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: in it, but I've noticed it's not something that I
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: would usually wear. And I usually dress Oscar on things
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: that I would usually wear sort of thing.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: And then it's a jumper.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah I got that, well, very beautiful, very nice, probably
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: the most expensive jumper he has.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: It's gonna be honest.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: And I was like to everyone, like, it's nice, but
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: have you noticed something. She's like, yeah, it's sort of
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: something Matt would wear. It's because I wear a lot
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: of navy actually yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's very navy.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: It's very much like drake the sweater over your shoulders
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: instead of wear it.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: It's a blue and white stripe jumper.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: You know what, I'll get some photos, will put it
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: out on the Facebook group of what he usually wears
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: and how Matt would dress much eye.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: He's just like, I just really want a boy. I
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: really want him to be and I'd already sent us
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: like the thing to change his name.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: I do want to know if you picked up on
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: something though, regarding the gift, and let me I'm sure
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: you didn't read the card.
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: I haven't read the card now.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: I didn't think he would, which is why I took
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: a photo.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: Who read it? And maybe Oscar read it, but he
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: can't read.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: Okay. Marley is very excited about making cards. She loves it.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: She loves it.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: Maybe I have read it.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: And the morning of you know, you always leave the
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: card to like last man in the car. We had
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: to get out the door and I was like, come on, Marley,
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: write the card. Here's what you have to say. Because
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: she's like, what should I write? So I wrote it
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: out for her to then copy in the card. So
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: this is the card that we gave Oscar.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: A lot of backwards letters there. Yeah, she's good though,
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: she's got such good she.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: Good.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: Now I'm looking at it. You really fudged that up.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: You've written that out and pretended to be your daughter,
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: haven't you guilty?
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: It's good.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: We got a card from my nan and she's just
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: put a big lipstick mark on it.
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: Oh, like a big kiss.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: If I did that, it'd be weird. Oscar again, this
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: guy again. Mary wouldn't write the fucking card.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: Dear Oscar Johnson. Oh wait, happy birthday. A lot of
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: backwards letters.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to have you on the yacht.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: We can't wait to have you on the this summer.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: We're yearning to have you on.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: Very good. Thank you for coming. It's a long way
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: for you to come in the rain.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: Molly wouldn't so annoying. I was like, write the card
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: and she's like, nah, I'm over it. I was like shit,
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: So I did my had a couple of beers and
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: write the car myself.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: Nice shows, but it was I had a lot of fun.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: Your friend's family all very lovely.
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they were stokes of celebrity. Was there me? Look
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: about me?
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Your sister for the first time. Yeah, gorgeous family.
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, sure, very sure.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: When's the next party?
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: Five more years?
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was something I don't want to do every
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: year for Oscar. He can plan his next one.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: It's a lot, it's a lot. It's a lot, but
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: well done. You should be very proud of yourself.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I definitely put up a good fight. I
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: would say I just got a shitload of fucking presents.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: So thank you everyone that did come. Thank you every
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: one that got him something. Thank you to everyone that
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: sent messages. Yeah, appreciate it, and so does Oscar so
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: in April and may see, he has no idea. I
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: appreciate it. Actually I got one more. I got one
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: more gripe with you. You did promise something.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I think it's all we have time for regarding birthday chat.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: That's for around.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: There was no eagle see eagle mascot.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: Look, I wasn't overly hopeful, but I was thinking maybe
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: he would just pull through. It reminds me of that
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: time that you disappointed me when we got caught up
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: to do karaoke on a cruise ship and I jumped
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: up and did the karaoke and someone refused.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: That's how disappointed I will.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, But in this case, I didn't refuse to try
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: and get the costume. I messaged Manly Seagles many times
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: on Instagram.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: You said to me, come to me, only come to
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: me with solutions, and you could bring me zero solutions.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I apologize. There was no mascot, there was no eagle.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: It was unfortunate. I think Oscar if he had seen
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: me in a costume, he wouldn't have enjoyed it.
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: He would have scared the shit out of him. Yeah,
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: he would not have.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: So really, I did you a favor.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: No let us slide, because it would have it would
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: have petrified him.
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: He's very easily stuffed.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: Even me saying high fire, but he was like, oh, don't.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Hit me.
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: Anyway.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: On that note, Matt, let's do our favorite segment, which
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: is petty couples.
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: Petty couple, Welcome down the street, petty couple.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: They like with me, dirty couple.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: I love you, but you.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: No one can push me quite like you. This is
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: strange because this one's actually from a man, and usually
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: we get it from the wife doing something petty because
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: the man's useless.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: I'm ready for this one.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: What this one's for Michael, says.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: My wife refuses to put the empty toilet rolls in
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: the bin and instead.
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: Leaves them on the bathroom floor.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: She knows it annoys me and suggests I put them
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: in the bin myself.
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: It bothers me so much.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: Oh my blood is boiling at this. Instead, I saved
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: them up and every once in a while I'll hide
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: them all under a bill.
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: To find just.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: That is fucking great. Laura is the biggest culprit of that.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Just she yeah, she never, just never. She'll put the
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: toilet roll on top of the empty one, the one
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: that's finished, so not even like put it back onto
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: the hook. She just places it on top of rests
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: on there. So if you want to get toilet paper out,
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: you've got to do it like manually.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: I'm Laura at home, surprise, But I have a separate
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: bathroom because that stank.
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: Which I use the one in the bedroom. April's got
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: the main one.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: I thought, because if you do that one, then you're
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: stinking up the bedroom.
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: Don't nah.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: No, the one I use is the older facilities. She
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: likes the newer bathroom, and that's fine with me. I
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: just stank. I'll the old one, but I leave them
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: on the floor. Yeah, that's a good rebuttal. That's a
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: great what do you got?
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: This one is from Hanny. Interesting, Hey, Hanny, She says,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: we live on a remote cattle station in the NT.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: I didn't know they had internet.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: In the NT.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: I didn't know they had phones or anything.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: Joking. The nearest shop is two hours away.
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: What fuck?
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: She says. I'm a stay at home mom. I'm a
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: stay at homeman. Sorry, Haney, Sorry, sorry, sorry. She says
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: she often does her partner's washing given the rule empty
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: your pockets first, as she's sick of picking out the
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: pocket remains. Usually it's paper, receipts, et cetera. I appreciate,
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: it's very frustrating. No one wants that. To my disgust.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: My partner has recently picked up smoking. It pisses me off.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: So I put the packet of cigarettes in his work
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: pockets and wash them on purpose, knowing you can't go
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: to the shop for a few days, sometimes weeks. Let's
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: just remind the listeners the shops are two hours away.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: I'll then be like, oh, you didn't empty your pockets,
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: so they've gone through the wash. Will they teach them
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: to empty his pockets or quick smoking. Maybe bo who
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: knows this petty partner will soon find out, Oh I can't, Honey,
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: well done.
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: But you could have ruined your washing machine with all that.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the washing machine.
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: Who's got a smoking addiction?
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: Now we have a third voice joining us for the
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: end of this podcast. This is a segment that we've
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: tweaked a little bit. We always have the listener questions.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: We have tweaked it.
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: What are we calling it?
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: Ask Ellie?
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: Huh.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Yes, that is the third voice that you are now hearing.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: It is my mum, Ellie Johnson, who lives with us,
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: and in order to pay her keep, she is now
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: appearing on the pod every now and then once in
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: a while, and we will call that even You don't
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: have to pay rent anymore, Ellie, just be on the pod.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: Okay, so nice to get a grandmother's perspective on parenting questions.
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: You expecting words of wisdom?
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: No, sure, Ellie, we have We have two listener questions
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: that have been submitted for yourself, and get them wrong.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: I will ask the first one, Ash will ask the
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: second one.
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: Then you may leave quietly.
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: Can I undo the ropes?
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Don't touch the handcuffs. Ellie. The first question is, and
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: for those of you who are not familiar, my mum
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: is eighty three.
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: We keep adding before we do continue.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: If you do want to ask Elliet question, just send
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: us a DM or an email.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: At Hello at two Doting Dads dot dot com. Ellie,
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: the first question is when you look at modern technology,
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: things like electricity.
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: It's all the motor vehicle.
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: Sorry, everything is called a microwave heats up things instantly.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: But when you look at I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: I didn't mean to take some respect.
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: The micro waves were new and I was had.
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: Little ones it was And what about electricity, No.
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: We did have that.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: When you look as modern products baby related products, is
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: there any in particular that you think, gosh, I wish
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: I had that when I was a young parent.
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: The one thing that I think would have been wonderful
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: was not technology. I suppose it is technology, it's the phone.
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: But delivery of groceries to the door.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: How good?
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: Now?
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: That does take me back, boys to a story.
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: When we used to grow our own.
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I was pregnant with you Matt. Kate was
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: about nine months, Adam was about two and a half,
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: went to the grocery store, had a trolley. Kate was
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: sitting in the top of the trolley. I was looking
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: at the shelves. And then there was this all mighty
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: crash because Adam somehow had got to the side of
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: the trolley and pulled the whole thing down.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: Kate was in the trolley.
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: Kate was in the trolley. She seemed to be okay.
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: Obviously she was crying. Adam was crying. There was a
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: whole load of eggs smashed all over the floor. There
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: was a packet of flour on the floor, of course
• 41:19
  Speaker 4: there was. And I remember just surveying the damage. I
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: picked up the two kids, walked out the store, got
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: back in the car and just went home. And I
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: didn't buy anything that day.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: So you've got eggs, you've got flower you throw some
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: breadcrumbs in there, and you've got a couple of.
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: So I do remember that. And it was tough.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: Delivery delivery groceries.
• 41:50
  Speaker 4: Would be and Uber eats food would that.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: Be pre prepared meals that delivered to your door.
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: Yes, is very good.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: Sometimes when I'm coming home from the daycare run and
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: I realized that we've got like no fruit no milk,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: you can just.
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: Order it like that.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: I've got a really hard hitting question for you, what
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: do you think is the hardest part of being a grandparent.
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: There are many good points about being a grandparent, such
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: a joyful just I mean, there's twofold watching the gorgeous
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: little kids growing up and developing, but also seeing you
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: as parents and taking great pride in the fact that
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: you are just wonderful parents.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: But what are you laughing?
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: But but not not to do with you as a parent,
• 42:48
  Speaker 4: but to do with it's kind of inescapable. But it's
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: the fear. So you have fear because there's five more
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: people to worry about in a world that's scary, and
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: probably the world isn't any more scary than it was
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: when you were little. But you just love them so
• 43:15
  Speaker 4: much and you don't want harm to come to them,
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: and so you've got to try and not get too
• 43:23
  Speaker 4: worked up about what might happen. Just enjoy the day.
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: But when I look after the kids, there's always that
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: element of please not on my watch. I don't want
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: anything to go wrong. So you've got to overcome that
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: and just enjoy and do some adventurous things you have to.
• 43:45
  Speaker 4: But it's the fee.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: The other day when we're walking back to my sister's
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: house and there was I want to say, like three
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: or four hundred meters to get from where we were
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: to my sister's house. You could go left or you
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: could go right, and the adults went left, went right.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: When I say the kids, they were the five six
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: seven year.
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: Old no roads to cross, no roads to cross.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but the look on your face when my sister
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: was like, that's all right, we'll just meet them at home,
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: and I saw you were like, and.
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: I was, I was actually going to go with them,
• 44:15
  Speaker 4: should I? Then Kate said no, no, no, they're fine.
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: Are you sure? The path just splits to it.
• 44:21
  Speaker 4: Was like a big square. So we went one way,
• 44:23
  Speaker 4: they went the other, and they were fine.
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: But still found George.
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: That's a good answer. I mean, I suppose, Like I mean,
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: parents always talk about like.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: When they grow older, they you know, you never stop worrying.
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: As a parent, never stopped worrying, and I.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: Was a grandparent. It's like you've got a whole new
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: set of things to worry about.
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, but you mustn't let that detract from the joy.
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: Can't live, can you?
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: You can't live your life in fear. No I did
• 44:53
  Speaker 4: try putting them all in wardrobes and locking them away.
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: Well, thank you Ellie.
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: And again, if you've got a question for Ellie, you
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: can send that to two Dads DMS or hello at
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: two Doting Dads dot com.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, thanks guys, and that time we will get out
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: of here. If you've enjoyed this episode, please don't be
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: shy share it with any Mom's going for seven a sweet.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: She's absolutely demolishing that stone and Wood.
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: This is actually a good.
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: Beer on stone Wood. If you want to win a
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: case of Stonewood this week.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: Don't forget Ellie. You should know this. You are on
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: social media. You can do a story of you listening
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: to yourself with ask Ellie and she's already confused. All
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: you have to do is tag two tag stone would
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: follow both accounts. We will pick someone each week to
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: send a case of beer directly to your door. Please
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: don't be shy. Send this episode to anyone who you
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: think will enjoy having a laugh and some words of
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: wisdom from Ellie Johnson.
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: Leave a review and give us five starts.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: She's a natural. If not for me to ash, do
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: it for Ellie and we have time for We'll see
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: you guys next week.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Bye bye bye.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: Two Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.