Latest / Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor / How can I be content not being in a relationship?

Transcript

How can I be content not being in a relationship? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It is possible to feel content without being in a relationship.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: It comes from building a life that already feels full.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: So a relationship becomes something that adds to it, not something that completes it.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: First, separate wanting from needing.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Wanting a relationship is natural.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: As human beings we are wired for connections.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: The problem starts when it feels like your life is on hold without one.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Contentment grows when your daily life, routines, interests and friendships and sense of direction already has meaning.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Second, try to take your attention off the idea of a relationship and bring it back to actual experiences.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: What are you missing specifically?
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Is it companionship, physical affection, shared goals or emotional support?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Naming them can often help you meet parts of those needs in other ways through close friendships, community, creative work, structure and purpose.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Third, watch out for comparison loops.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to look at couples and assume they've got something you haven't, but in reality relationships come with trade-offs like compromise and emotional complexity.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Contentment isn't about denying that relationships can be great, it's about seeing the true picture so you're not idolizing one path while undervaluing your current one.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, invest in things that create momentum in your life.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: That could be upskilling, health, projects, travel or building a routine for yourself.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's a noticeable difference between I am single and waiting than I am single and living.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: The second one tends to feel a lot more stable.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Also, it's worth being honest if there's a persistent sense of loneliness, try not to suppress it.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: That feeling is information, not failure.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: The goal isn't to eliminate the desire for a relationship, but to make sure your well being doesn't depend on it.