Latest / Black Girls Consult TOO! / Episode 121: Unlocking Authenticity in Consulting: Why You Struggled and How to Succeed

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Episode 121: Unlocking Authenticity in Consulting: Why You Struggled and How to Succeed · Black Girls Consult TOO!

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: They say, the odds are stacked against us as women, especially women of color, trying to thrive in the consulting world.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: But rather than wait for a seat at the table that may never come, what if we build our own tables?
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: What if we channeled our talents into guiding each other towards the success we deserve?
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Black Girls Consulting Podcast.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, dr Angelina Davis, and I've walked the path from healthcare consultant to a mentor for women like you, ambitious, unstoppable and ready to make waves in the consulting world.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: This podcast is your go-to spot for all things entrepreneurial consulting.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: For us as women, especially women of color, think of it as your weekly coffee date with a friend who's here to dish out real talk on building a solid business, elevating your thought leadership and mastering that all important mindset.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: And let's not forget, we're doing all of this while balancing day jobs, family life and running teams.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Yes, we can do it all.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: So if you're ready to dive into how you can grow a thriving consultancy or get strategies and insights that actually fit your busy lifestyle, then you're in the right place.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Grab your coffee, tea or, hey, even a glass of wine, I won't judge and let's get started.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Hello, hello, hello.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Black Girls Consulting Podcast.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, dr Angelina Davis, and I could not wait to talk to you today because I was watching an episode on one of our major news channels.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I can't remember if it was CNN or MSNBC.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Either way, if you are not in the US, just to fill you in, we're in the midst of an election year and whenever there's an election year, things are always a little bit crazy.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: But this year in particular, things have gotten just crazier than ever.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: So I was listening in on one of the shows and trying to gauge where things were going, moving forward after a big announcement, and at the time I was just all caught up in the news of the day, not necessarily thinking about anything related to the business or anything related to consulting whatsoever.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: But when I heard this, this stood out so much that I knew this was a message that needed to be shared and I knew this was a topic that we needed to have in more detail on the podcast.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: So let me just explain exactly what happened.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Like I said, I was watching TV.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I was watching the commentary on the upcoming election this is right after President Biden decided not to run for reelection and the panelists who was on the show was arguing that if Vice President Kamala Harris actually became the presidential candidate for the Democratic Party, that her only chance of winning would be if she were more authentic.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: And they said this quote exactly she just needs to be herself.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: That's what they said and it stood out to me so loudly.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I could not help but just be struck by the fact that this was the perfect example of our everyday struggle as women, and especially as women of color, to fit in with what others deem to be quote unquote professional, and I saw this comment as being something that the commentator probably meant no harm by saying, and actually, in all honesty, I will agree that it is true, but it was strange hearing it because I felt very attacked in that moment, if I was to be transparent.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I felt attacked because I know how hard it is to show up every day in a professional or corporate environment and for someone to tell you to be yourself when everything about that environment requires you to be different.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Right, I'm sure you all can relate to this, and what I was thinking is that even the vice president of the United States seemingly struggles with fitting into this box and, let's be honest, the nonstop critiques and judgments that she experiences makes it that much harder for her to be 100% authentic, and I know that, although we're not the president of the United States, the vice president of the United States are running for a major election.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: We as women, especially women of color in this consulting world have been there.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: As women, we often feel, you know, this pressure to conform to old school, cisgender, white, male, hyper competitive spaces and we feel like we have to do that to just be taken seriously.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Look, that's one of the reasons why I believe the pantsuit became so big, if you notice that Kamala often wears her pantsuit rather than a skirt and one of the reasons that's the case is because we feel as if we need to show up differently to be taken seriously and to compete head to head with our male counterparts.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: Now, I don't believe that's necessary.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: I believe that she's as intelligent, strong and capable in a skirt and heels as she would be in a pantsuit and converse a pantsuit and flats.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: But the point is that we often feel as if we cannot show up as who we truly are, and it's these restrictive norms of the world that make it very challenging for us to embrace this whole concept of being authentic, and we hear it all the time Authenticity is the key to success.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: You have to be authentic so others can relate to you.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: We hear that authenticity is the key, but how can we really embrace that?
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: How can we embrace being authentic when the world is telling us not to be ourselves?
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: This is the conversation I want to have today.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: So now I want you to imagine how transformative your business can actually become if you weren't able to be who you truly are without having the need to wear this mask or to switch into a different person the minute you walk through the door.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, as a matter of fact, I can relate so much that, if you've been listening to the podcast, you know that I dedicated a whole year to my year of bold.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: It was all about me trying to show up more boldly in this space, to speak my mind, to lean into who I am authentically and listen.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Now, that needs to be an entire decade.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: You hear me?
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: A whole decade or more.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: It clearly was not something that I accomplished in a year.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: It's something that I'm still continuing to work on and to explore.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: So in this episode, I want us to talk about how we might have struggled with being authentic in our practice thus far, but then how we can actually begin to turn our authenticity the way that we are who we are naturally into our superpower.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: A thriving consulting business is built on a solid business foundation and a consulting code that leads you toward your ideal business and your ideal lifestyle.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: And the great thing about this code is that it works for any type of consulting practice, whether you help clients with professional development, business management, grant writing, it or something entirely different.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: This consulting code is not rocket science and it's not beyond your reach, and when you crack the code, it can jumpstart the growth of your solo consulting practice and is what you need to know to get started and land your first clients, and nothing more.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: This is a step-by-step process I wish I had so many years ago, and that's why I wanted to share this with you and how you can do this too.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: So if you're interested in starting your consulting business and creating a desirable offer to generate leads for your offer and to make sales, then the consulting code is your solution.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Visit wwwexcelatconsultingcom for more information.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: So first let me say that there are a lot of common misconceptions when it comes to authenticity.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Many consultants believe that we need to show up as this perfectly polished corporate image in order to be successful, then we need to fit a certain mold that is highly consistent with what we have traditionally thought of in consulting, which, let's be honest, is usually an older white male.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: That's just, I mean.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: That's just the truth.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: And when we don't fit into that, somehow we begin to question whether or not we have the ability to be taken seriously or to be as successful as our counterparts.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: But really, authenticity is about showing up as who you truly are and not some idealized version of what you think clients want to see.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Because, see, this is the thing we're trying to get into the minds of our clients when, in all actuality, we don't even know if they like the current traditional image that they're forced to accept.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: However, I do want to acknowledge that it is natural to fear judgment or to worry about rejection.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: That is a natural emotion that any of us are going to feel as humans.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: I feel that myself.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: But we have to push against that, because if we want to show up as someone that people can trust, that they feel like they can relate to, then we need to be real, we need to be ourselves.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Being anything else is not being who the person is actually going to work with, and oftentimes that is just very hard to overcome, no matter how hard we try.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: So if we've struggled with authenticity before, then you may have felt some of these things.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: One is a lack of self-reflection, meaning that you haven't taken the time to reflect on what makes you unique and valuable, and so, because you haven't reflected on that, it's hard to know exactly what people truly are drawn to, are attracted to, what they see as being a differentiator when it comes to comparing you with others in your industry.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Another thing is that there's likely a fear of judgment.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: If we're just real about it, many times when we are concerned about being authentic or we have difficulty being our authentic selves, we fear that others may look at us differently.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: They may not see us as being as intelligent, they may not see us as being as smart, they may not see us as being as capable or even attractive.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: That comes into our minds sometimes as women, but I want you to remember that the right clients, the ones that are meant for you, are going to see the value that you offer, and the ones that are insistent on seeing something different, they're going to always see that, no matter what.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: So the last thing is that inconsistent authenticity meaning that you're trying to be consistent sometimes.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Other times you have difficulty with it.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: You go back and forth, showing up differently depending upon the space, the time, who you're around.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: That can actually chip away at trust and credibility, because the person doesn't know what to expect.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: You know they may see you being one way on one podcast and then when you go on another podcast, you're talking a little bit differently.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Maybe you're showing up on YouTube one way but then showing up on LinkedIn another.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Maybe you're on your podcast, like I am now, and being completely different than being online on LinkedIn.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: If I'm doing any of those things, please let me know.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do that, but the point is that we all struggle with this right.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: I don't think anyone is immune to it.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: So, because we know that a lot of what we are dealing with is centered around the fact that we have not taken the time to do self-reflection, that we fear judgment and that there is potentially inconsistencies with how we're showing up as our true selves, then when we think about the steps that we can take to correct those things, it's going to be pushing back on those, on those beliefs, right?
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: And so I want to talk now about how we can take some actionable steps, and these are steps that I am working on myself.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: These are steps that I have been, you know, even thinking more deeply about after watching that panelists make their comments and thinking about the fact that these are things that are even affecting someone who has accomplished so much on a world stage, and thinking about how can we continue this journey of being able to fully embrace ourselves authentically.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: And it does start with self-reflection.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: I want us to take some time to really think about our unique strengths and values.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I don't think we give ourselves enough credit.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: We take for granted so much that we bring to the table that truly is an added value and a unique strength.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: That is insane.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: So I want us to take time to think about those qualities, think about how our abilities shine through in our work.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: So how are we able to incorporate the uniqueness of who we are into the work that we do, into our client interactions?
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: So think about this, even if you had a journal on it what makes you you, what makes you different?
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: I know for myself I had to think long and hard about you know what really is special, and I noticed one trait to be very common about the way I practice and the way I work with clients, and it is my empathy.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: It's my empathy and also my friendliness.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: I know that sometimes it can come off as being soft for some people to be more empathetic and to be more caring and more nurturing, but that's something that is actually a strength of mine.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I truly see that as a strength and for those who want to go on this journey of becoming a better consultant, building their business and having someone in their corner that supports them and understands the unique challenges that they face, for that person that I'm meant to serve, that's a strength.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I understood that fully that I felt more comfortable even smiling more often on photos, because before I have a huge smile, huge smile.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: It's something that people compliment me on, but something I've always felt very self-conscious about and tried to hide, because I was always trained that to show up that way.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Really, I guess I would say I worked against me when it came to showing up as a strong you know, strong player at the table.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: But what I noticed over time is that that's what drew the right people that I'm meant to serve to me, and the more I leaned into that, the more I didn't apologize for showing up that way.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: The more that I created programs and services that were more nurturing, that were more caring about unique circumstances, then I thrived, my business thrived.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: So I want us to reflect on those types of things, write that down journal about it, really figure out what it is that is unique to you, that is valuable.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: And then the second thing is to be very transparent in the way you communicate, and often we are very cautious about what we say.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, I've learned over time to have these slower pauses in the way that I speak, and I know it's because I'm thinking about what to say and what not to say.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: And although you know hey, listen, you don't want to just run off at the mouth and just make a taboo and say anything At the same time you want the comfort of just easily flowing with your conversation.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: So try starting your client meetings by sharing a little bit about your journey.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Tell your client a little bit about why you do what you do Really set the stage for them to trust you, for them to build a relationship with you, not that image that you're trying to portray online.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: Not that image that you felt like you had to portray at your job.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Not that image that you're trying to portray online at the image that you felt like you had to portray at your job.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Not the mask that you had to wear, that you had to wear every time you stepped into a corporate environment.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: I want you to start sharing a little bit more about you who you are, how you think, what's your philosophy, what's your prescription, how you've been educated, what you value all those things your beliefs share that those are the things that your clients can connect with, and this is a vast difference to how many of the traditional consulting firms actually handle their clients.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: They're not as open and transparent in their communication, and so one of the things that actually results in is people not having a lot of trust that you are there to serve them instead of having your best interest at heart.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: So be more transparent in your communication.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Say what you really think.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: If you think that their idea is bad, tell them.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Tell them that's what they want.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: That's what they are paying you for.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: They want that transparent communication, and the more we can be more transparent in the way that we communicate, the more we're going to embrace who we naturally are, because we're not filtering it through the shoulds and the coulds and the woulds and the you need tos of the world.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: You're just saying what you think.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: You're using your life experience, you're using your viewpoint and your perspective to provide insight.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: That's what they're paying you for, that's what your client wants.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: I know we don't feel like it sometimes, we feel like we need to show up differently, but that is really what they desire.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: And then the last thing is getting comfortable with embracing vulnerability.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Now, this is the part, I think, that gives us all a little bit of an ease, because vulnerability sounds like we need to pour out all of our struggles and tell everybody all of our business and put everything out in the streets.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: That's not what it means.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Vulnerability is not sharing all your business.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Vulnerability is not about being weak.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: It's actually a strength.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: It's a strength that really does foster connection and trust.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: It's just like me telling you that I struggle with all of this.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Everything that we're talking about in this episode today I struggle with, I'm working on, I'm actively trying to figure out how can I be more authentic in my practice.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: I know that if I can just tell you everything that I have gone through as a woman in consulting, as a black woman in consulting, it's going to make your journey a lot easier, but I struggle with being that vulnerable.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: So I think that being able to say that, hopefully, will help you.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Relate to the fact that you're not alone, that we all struggle with being more vulnerable and sharing these things that we see as weaknesses or embarrassments, and being able to use that to help others.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: To help others feel as if they can make it too, because they've seen you accomplish that goal despite those challenges.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: That's what the vulnerability actually does and that's what also ties people into following your approach, following your process, because they have a better understanding as to who and what it applies to.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: They can put a greater context around what you're saying.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: So this vulnerability that I'm urging you to show is a very impactful way to connect with your clients and to grow and to increase their lifetime value.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: It truly is.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: So I want you to consider all these things self-reflection, being more transparent in your communication and really embracing vulnerability, because if we can do this, then we can embrace who we are more authentically, day by day.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: It's not going to happen overnight.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: It's a journey, it's going to be a process, but I think that starting here is what we need in order to break through this.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I feel like this infinite wall that's up that we can't seem to just peel fully away, and so my hope is that this will get us thinking more and more about how we can be more authentic, how we can be more of ourselves in our industry, despite what you may commonly see, because that is what's going to help you stand out.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: This will help you connect with the right people, the people you're meant to serve, and that's what's going to help your business grow.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: So I want to hear from you.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Listen, I want you to tell me how you are showing up more authentically in your space.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Reach out on Instagram or LinkedIn, shoot me a DM, you know, just share with me your experience.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: I really, really do want to hear more.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: I want to understand where we all are in this journey, and then I want us to continue to work on this.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: I don't want this to be the only conversation that we have around the power of authenticity and how we can embrace it.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: I want us to continue to talk about it and I want us to continue to grow in this area.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: So this won't be the last episode on this topic.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: We're going to do this again, but I really do hope that you remember that your authenticity is your superpower, so I want you to embrace it and I want you to watch how it transforms your consulting practice.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: All right, guys, I will talk to you later.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Have a great one.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you for tuning in to the Black Girls Consulting Podcast.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to leave your review on Apple Podcasts, subscribe and share it with a friend.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: We're on a mission to increase the success and longevity of women in consulting, and you can help us do just that.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Also, I'd love to hear from you, so let's connect at Dr Angelina Davis on Instagram or LinkedIn, and don't forget to visit excelatconsultingcom for more information to support your consulting journey.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Until next time, keep breaking glass ceiling, all right, take care.