Latest / The Immutable Word / EP051 From Rock Bottom to Redeemed: Yvonne’s Testimony

Transcript

EP051 From Rock Bottom to Redeemed: Yvonne’s Testimony · The Immutable Word

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If you get to a point where there's nothing to lose, you know,
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there's nowhere to go. You're at the end of the line.
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Jesus, you know, he's all that's left. And I just remember sitting there and
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just rereading that and rereading that.
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And it really hit home because I really got to a point where it was the end of the line for me.
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I didn't have family in San Antonio. I didn't have friends in San Antonio. I was a single parent.
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I just lost the one person that I thought cared about me And it was just like
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everything just you know your financial situations and that kind of thing I
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didn't have the you know best job or anything like that I was like,
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you know if there is a god which I knew there was from,
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Going to church earlier and stuff, but you know, I kept reading that the back of the track,
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And I was like lord, you know if there is a god out there if this is real,
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if this is honest, if this is true.
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Then, you know, your paper says that all I have to do is just believe.
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This is Robert here. I've actually got my wife today. Hello.
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We're going to be actually talking about her testimony and a little bit of change
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of pace from some of the other episodes that we've done.
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We'd like to try to do some more of these interview style type,
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you know, episodes where we're talking to other folks, getting some insight
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into their life and their salvation.
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And sorry, this, you know, the sound's going to be a little bit different because
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we're not in a studio necessarily or using studio mics.
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So you might hear my dogs in the background, clickety-clack stuff is kind of,
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sometimes it'll probably drive me nuts, but it's okay. We'll figure it out.
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So anyway, today we want to, you know, talk to my wife, Yvonne.
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Get to know her a little bit and just hear a little bit about her testimony,
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how you got saved and, you know, kind of what led you to salvation.
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Like, what was your life like before salvation? I'm sure I know you're not going
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to want to go into detail and you don't have to. Remember, this is a family show, babe.
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So we want to keep it G-rated. Keep it, keep it. Yes.
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And hopefully words won't slip out or anything. That's right. All right.
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So first of all, I'll let you kind of introduce yourself, where you're from,
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kind of a little bit of your background, you know, where you grew up, things like that.
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Okay. Well, again, my name is Yvonne. And let's see.
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So I was, I grew up being an army brat. So I was.
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I was born in Salt Lake City, and then just all I've ever known was traveling.
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I know from there, we went to Virginia, and then my dad was stationed in Germany
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for a long period of time.
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And then my parents, unfortunately, divorced, so we came back to the States.
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My mom's, you know, both my parents were originally from Texas,
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so my mom's from McAllen, Texas, so we came back there. and that's where we
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lived for a majority of the time until I moved on.
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Obviously, I never—I know I was introduced into church by my grandma.
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I know we went to—she was a member of a Salvation Army church,
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and I remember going to Sunday schools with her and that coming—that kind of thing.
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But do you ever recall any kind of clear presentation of the gospel at all? I don't know.
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And I'm not really sure if even the church was in Spanish because my grandmother
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really didn't speak English.
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I just remember going, you know. Unfortunately, I don't know because of,
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I just don't have good memory a lot, which is, you know, if my children are
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listening to that, they're probably saying, I told you so right now.
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But I don't have a lot of recollection of my growing up, I guess you could say.
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I just know we lived in different places and we moved around a lot,
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didn't really have like a real good stable life kind of thing until we moved to McAllen.
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And even then, I wasn't stable.
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You know, I wasn't exactly a I wouldn't say I was a bad kid,
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but I didn't have direction, you know, so did get into trouble a lot.
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And that kind of thing and went my own way, caught up in the wrong crowd and
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eventually got to a point where I know it wore on my mom.
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And as soon as it was possible, it was, you know, I was out of the house kind of thing.
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So unfortunately, during that time period, I did have, you know,
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I had a daughter out of wedlock.
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And that was a that is it was different you know trying to live as a single parent,
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I think that's really when we I say we but I drove my mom crazy so was still
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trying to figure out how things were she mostly raised my daughter more than I did for sure.
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And then there is a point, you know, I will say this, as you know,
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for the young ladies listening out there, whether you're saved or not saved,
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I was, you know, you kind of,
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what do you want to say, how do I put this?
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Everybody looks for acceptance in different ways, right?
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Everybody wants to be loved. Everybody wants to be number one in somebody's
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eyes and that kind of thing.
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And so I know having my parents divorced and that kind of thing,
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it really put me in a place where I was seeking that a lot and just kind of
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landed me in relationships I shouldn't have been in.
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And after my daughter was born, that was, you know, a circumstance that we won't discuss.
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This was your early 20s, right? Yeah, I was, by then, I didn't graduate from high school.
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I loved school. I loved school. I did. But in the area that we lived in, we were Porter Town.
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So schools in that area are not the best.
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It wasn't the best environment. And I knew that. So I just said,
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you know what? I'm not getting anything out of this.
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I will just do it on my own. So I just quit school and went on to go working and that kind of thing.
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And then shortly after I had my daughter,
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landed in another relationship where I thought, oh, this is the one kind of
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thing, got pregnant again. And but, you know.
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Unfortunately, it was not the case. So being that this was the second time,
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I knew I couldn't do it. You know, there was just no way.
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So there was a strong push for abortion, you know, and I just didn't want to
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do that. So a decision I made on my own, I was like, nope, I'm going to go the adoption way.
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So with that, I ended up getting with an adoption group, which moved me to San Antonio.
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And so when I moved to San Antonio, the adoption process went through and all that kind of thing.
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And then out of nowhere, in the midst of all of this, I get a phone call from
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my mom saying, hey, there's this guy that's calling.
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Weirdo. Yes, weirdo stalker.
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That...
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Is asking if he could have your phone number. He knows you from high school.
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And he goes, and she faintly remembers him because,
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you know, we were part of a friend group and we used to drive up,
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you know, this is back when before cell phone lines and, you know,
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we had, you had to pay for every minute, you know, we didn't have any rollover minutes and stuff.
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And anyway, she's like, so he's asking, and of course, me being in San Antonio,
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not really having any friends, going through all this mess.
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You know, it was just, oh, there's a person that I know.
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You know, sure, pass it on. So let me back up just for a second,
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just for our listeners' context here.
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So me and Yvonne met each other the first time in sixth grade. In sixth grade.
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Clean Copper's Cove, that area, Texas.
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Because you were a military brat. Right. We were both military brats.
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Both of our dads were stationed at Fort Hood, Texas.
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And so sixth grade, we met each other. You moved away shortly after.
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And then I eventually moved down to McAllen. Right. In the ninth grade.
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And that's where we met again.
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And we ran again because your family, most of your family's from the valley, the McAllen area.
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So obviously this is the longest stalking recorded in history starting at a
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very young age. No, joking aside.
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So knowing that, I told my mom,
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sure and so and then lo and behold
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you called and so i
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was oh yeah i remember you because you know obviously when we had and i can't
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remember was it high school dagan we yeah no dagan was sixth grade okay sixth
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grade when we were i guess you can say friends unfriends your best friend at
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that He was my best friend,
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and he was your first boyfriend.
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Or crush, whatever you want to call it. Yeah, so that's how we initially became friends or whatever.
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So knowing that it was you, then you came and visited, you know,
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you were working, you lived in San Antonio, but you worked in Dallas and stuff.
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So you were traveling back and forth.
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And so we eventually met up and everything. And keep in mind,
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I'm not saved at this time.
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And I was not right with God. No, you were not. I was saved.
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I was out of the Air Force.
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But I obviously was not where I needed to be spiritually. No.
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Let's put it that way. So, and that's very key in this because it comes into
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play, you know, later on.
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So, of course, you started coming over, you know, a little bit more often.
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And then I guess if you want to call it dating or whatever.
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And on my side of things, I thought things were going great.
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But on your side of things, I guess there was your dad intervened or whatever.
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Let me put it this way. I don't think it wasn't necessarily my parents.
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It was because I was saved, even though I was not right with God.
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I knew that the relationship was getting more serious.
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And I was getting under conviction because I knew that you weren't saved. Okay.
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And that's probably what motivated me for these.
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For our listeners, I was not the wisest person. I was 24 years old, 23, 24 years old.
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And obviously I'd not been living for God. And I knew that I really cared about
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Yvonne, but I knew it was getting more and more serious.
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So this is what I just want to get in context.
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I'm going to sound like an idiot whenever you explain this but go ahead so would
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that be it in my on my end you know you know things were starting to you know
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get serious like you were saying and everything like that and,
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so we got to a point though where you made a decision,
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I guess because of, you know, your conscience, your convictions at that time,
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to let me know that things could not progress anymore.
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And that's when you decided to let me know that you were a Christian and because
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of your beliefs, you know.
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This is after several months of dating. Yes. And I never said anything.
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No. And, you know, of course, he was not, you know, there was no indication
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of trying to live a godly life at that time either. So I had no clue.
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So when you came to me and told me that we couldn't go forward because I wasn't
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a Christian and your belief was two people of unlike beliefs could not be together,
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blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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And then you gave me a trap.
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And in my head, I'm thinking, you've got to be kidding me. out of all the ways
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to break up with somebody, you're going to go a religious route.
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You know, you never once, you know, showed that you were religious.
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You never, you know, went to church that I knew of or anything.
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Did you have a secret? You know, I didn't know.
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All I remember is I couldn't have been, I had to been, in my mind,
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I was thinking, one, I had to either be the worst girlfriend ever to be broken
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up in such a way, or two, there was something else going.
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All I knew was, you know, that I was just upset, you know, but you left me with that track.
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Now, after that, you left.
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So we broke up, have this gospel track.
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And mind you, you know, because of like I was mentioning before about acceptance
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and all that kind of thing, I was just like, you know, I really was broken hearted.
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With everything that, you know, has happened in my life and everything,
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I was like, you've got to be joking me.
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But I did take the time to read the track, you know, and I believe it was in
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September when this happened.
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So it was September and I read the track.
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And to this day, I cannot remember the track itself.
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I can't remember either. But I just know that it had mentioned, you know,
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it had some kind of indication in there that if you get to a point where there's
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nothing to lose, you know, there's nowhere to go, you're at the end of the line,
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you know, Jesus, you know, he's all that's left, you know, kind of thing.
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And I just remember sitting there and just rereading that and rereading that.
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It really hit home because I really got to a point where it was the end of the line for me.
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I didn't have family in San Antonio. I didn't have friends in San Antonio. I was a single parent.
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I just lost the one person that I thought cared about me.
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And it was just like everything just, you know, your financial situations and that kind of thing.
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I didn't have the, you know, best job or anything like that.
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So I was like, you know, if there is a God, which I knew there was,
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because, you know, from going to church earlier and stuff, but,
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you know, I kept reading the back of the track.
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And I was like, you know, Lord, you know, if there is a God out there And, you know,
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if you truly, truly, if this is real If this is honest, if this is true.
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Then, you know, your paper says that all I have to do is just believe All I
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have to do is believe that you died for me That you would take away all the
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badness He would take away all the sin.
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And I didn't even know what sin was, but I knew it was all the bad stuff and
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that he would take it away and that he would love me and make me his own.
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And that's all I've ever wanted, I think, was just, you know,
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that. So I did, I prayed, you know, Lord, I do, I believe you.
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I believe that you died for me. I believe that, you know, I hope you can accept me. Please forgive me.
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And in that moment...
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I don't remember feeling like a sense of, you know, like you hear people say
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when they, once they prayed, they have like a burden lifted or a sense of thing. I didn't get that.
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I just remembered praying and crying and crying.
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But I felt better, I guess you can say. And maybe it was because I just unloaded
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all this stuff. I don't know. It was just a lot of emotions.
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But it did a change did take place i know that for a fact because prior to this you know i had been,
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i did not have a you know good lifestyle you know i was drinking i was you know
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there was smoking there was you know other things and stuff and it did not take
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much in fact it didn't take anything to not have those desires anymore.
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It was like cold turkey overnight.
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Did not have those desires anymore.
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I didn't know what to do next. And that's, I let you know that I did do,
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you know, I read the track and I did accept Jesus Christ from there.
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So, you know, I guess- Well, the next step was for me to bring you to church.
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Right, which was hilarious because, you know, So I will say this,
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the stalking work, because you got to lead me to the Lord.
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So I know, you know, the Lord put you in my life for that very reason,
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even back in sixth grade.
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Isn't that amazing? Isn't that amazing, though? Honestly.
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That's crazy. Well, I want to pause just a second here, because I think there's
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something really insightful.
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I think my, just if some of our listeners, if you ever think about, like, does a track work?
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Even though I had no testimony, it was probably the worst timing,
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the worst circumstance.
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It was a poor excuse. But that's what makes it beautiful. It was all God.
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The Lord still used that.
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So if you ever struggle with just passing
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out a track, who cares what the consequences are? Pass the track out.
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You never know what the Lord will do with that. Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
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So fast, you know, I let you know. And then I remember you invited me to church.
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Now, mind you, things did change for me as far as my lifestyle.
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But there was still a lot of cleaning up to do because going to the very first
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service. There was no discipleship. There was nothing like that. Nothing.
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And I really encourage anybody out there that, you know, if you're newly saved
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or, you know, whatever, try to find somebody to just be discipled.
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I didn't get that opportunity.
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And it's a deep, you know, I don't fault anybody for that.
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But if you're a new Christian, you don't know what to do.
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So I was a new baby Christian, came to church.
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And at that time, I still looked.
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My old lifestyle didn't know any better and i
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remember coming to church and your parent especially your mom
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was just like what in the world is that it was
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like a stray cat entered into the church kind
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of thing and of course my mom had no she
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had no context she had no history she had no idea that
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you had just gotten saved that that we
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had been dating all she knew is that one day
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i show up to church and here's this you are and
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you know what she would consider the biblical harlot well
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yeah just you know just so people know you know you weren't you know you were
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dressed in a miniskirt and things like that it obviously you know strange and
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it was a small church we're talking about maybe 50 60 people in this church
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so yeah so it was really hard but,
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once you know once I started attending church again you know unfortunately I
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didn't get a lot of discipleship.
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I got, you know, now you're a Christian woman.
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These are the do's and don'ts of a Christian woman. You do this,
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you don't do this, you don't do this, you do this kind of thing. And so that's all I.
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Knew to do but there was a definite change okay so we eventually got married,
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and i want people to know that this year
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2026 is going to be our 30th year
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anniversary so so you know this isn't something
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just happened yesterday we obviously went through a lot but
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we didn't know anything and even though
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i was saved at that point i'd been saved for i want
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to say maybe six seven years but i didn't have
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a lot of growth so i had no idea what
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it what it meant to be a husband i had no idea we
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didn't have like anything no marriage counseling
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none of it no we i you know
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just like our but i knew the right thing
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though for us because at that point in our life was
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to get married right and that we do we did need
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to we needed to do so we got we got married
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and like you were saying going into this was different because you were going
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and you were coming into a marriage with already a daughter involved right and
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you know so there was no parenting what do you call it lessons there was nothing
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we were going at this from ground zero.
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And it definitely was god
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to keep this all together because it was
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it's just it's been adventure for sure for
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sure but i know we
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got then we moved you know after shortly
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after that we moved to dallas and then
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brianna came into the picture our first daughter together and then we became
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part of a small small church no yes because brother yeah very small so there
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was a little it was different than going to our previous church in San Antonio,
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so a little bit learning there.
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It wasn't too long after that, that another pastor up in McKinney,
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Texas, about 20 minutes away, there was an open door for us to start going there.
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But again, you know, there's no discipleship. Right.
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As far as for me still being a new Christian, for us being new husband and wife, you know, new parents.
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These were doctrinal or doctrinally heavy churches.
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Right. But not a lot of practical, you know, teaching, living,
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marriage, counseling, that kind of stuff.
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Stuff that we definitely needed in the early stages.
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So a lot of trial and error.
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Definitely a lot of trial and error in those years.
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And then, you know, we left the church in McKinney. We moved to Austin.
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God led us here. Yeah, we were in Dallas for about 13 years.
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Yeah. And then moved down here about 2008.
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Right. So in comes Capital City and completely different mindset, completely different.
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The first series that our pastor started was on marriage. Right.
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So all the missing practical teachings that for the first 12,
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13, 14 years of our marriage.
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We got bits and pieces of it, but we were just not—we got it from other preaching,
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you know, that we had gotten, you know, like, well, Ralph and things like that.
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But even then, it was just—it wasn't—it wasn't a balance, I guess you could
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say. I mean, we still were—.
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You know, it was more about Bible teaching. Well, even our previous pastor,
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he had marriage issues. Issues and stuff like that. And so, yeah,
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we just never had that great example to follow. No, so come here.
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Now, mind you, at this point, we were homeschooling because,
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you know, that was rule number one from back from, you know,
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you're in San Antonio was as a Christian woman, you do not, you homeschool.
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So we were homeschooling our kids. And at this point, we had five kids.
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Four girls, one boy. Yep. So we were homeschoolers.
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We were, since our church in McKinney was very small, I was involved in Sunday
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school, did the children's choir.
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I know, you know, that was crazy because I can't hold a tune to save my life.
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But you did preaching. You did teach. You know, we were very involved in that
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church and stuff like that. But we weren't taught how to be church-loving people kind of thing.
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You know, we just did our church jobs, I guess you could say.
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So when we came to Capital City— It's like night and day. Oh, my goodness.
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It just—the missions conference that we came to that one time,
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it was just mind-boggling.
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The amount of people that engaged with us, that took us out to eat,
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that fellowshiped with us, the people that— And you were complete strangers.
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Yeah, it was so different. It's so different, but I don't want to lose track of whatever.
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So we're coming to this, you know, we started coming to Capital City.
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And, of course, things are different. I wanted to get involved because that's all I knew to do.
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So, but there was a different preaching here than what we're normally used to.
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And for a couple of years, there was preachers that would go up,
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you know, and they would preach testimonies, their salvation testimonies or
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salvation testimonies of others.
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And everybody mentioned most of
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them would always mention exact time
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day minute down to
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what they had for breakfast what they were wearing you know and it would just
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well the emphasis was you should be able to point to a time or day right specific
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time when you got saved and it started worrying me because I was thinking,
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okay, I know when you gave me the track and I know where I was,
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but can I pinpoint the exact time, the exact date, the exact moments like they were mentioning?
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So it really discouraged me. I'm like, oh no, why, you know,
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why can't, why can't I have that? Why can't I say that?
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And it bothered me, and then it would go away, you know.
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And I think I've asked you a couple of times, you know, about it,
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and it wasn't a big deal or anything.
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But every time somebody would mention it behind the pulpit, it bothered me.
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Like, why did I not have—and I knew something changed. You don't just—.
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Pray a sinner's prayer and then have the life change that I did.
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You know, I know that for a fact.
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This is, I personally think you did get saved, but because we had already mentioned
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it, there was no growth, there was no discipleship, there was no,
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there was nothing there.
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Right. So there was nothing to strengthen your faith.
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We had a conference in February of 2008, And I don't remember who the preacher was.
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I just remember going up there. He was up there. And once again, it was time and date.
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You know, you should pinpoint, you know, all those things. And it just, it really bothered me.
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And when they, at the invitation, at the end of the service, I was sitting there.
28:02
And when they were asking people to raise their hand, if they didn't believe
28:05
they were saved, you know, raise their hand, that kind of thing.
28:08
And I didn't know what to do.
28:09
I was like, I'm confused because I'm pretty sure I'm safe, but I didn't.
28:16
I have 100% confidence in it.
28:18
But what made me go forward was there was a young lady in our church who,
28:23
to me, at that time, I wouldn't say was the epitome of a Christian woman, but...
28:32
To see her, she raised her hand and went forward, and I just didn't expect that from her.
28:39
So I think that was just, for me, that was a sign, okay, quit being chicken.
28:45
If you're not safe, this is the time to get it. You know, get it solidified,
28:50
get it confirmed, be sure of it.
28:52
You know, I just needed reassurance. so I went forward and at that time Mrs. Lewis who is now Mrs.
28:59
Brown she took me to the back room
29:01
and she's I remember we knelt down
29:05
in front of the piano bench and she's like okay Miss Yvonne what's the problem
29:10
and I just went on to tell her you know I was like well I can't pinpoint this
29:15
place I can't pinpoint this date
29:17
I can't pinpoint this minute I and I even went on to go to say you know,
29:22
I really think I got saved so I could get married.
29:25
I got saved so I could get this man back. You know, I wanted that relationship back.
29:31
You know, can you get saved for the wrong reasons? Is it real salvation if you
29:35
get, you know, if you ask God to save you, if it's not 100%,
29:40
you know, trusting, you know, your, your reasonings for it was selfish, you know,
29:46
you know, my, I have selfish reasons to do this.
29:49
I wanted him to come back. I wanted to get, you know, and all these things, the relationship.
29:53
And she, she was so graceful. She, you know, gracious to me.
29:56
She just sat and she was just nodding her head.
29:59
And, and she's like, okay, well, you know, tell me again, you know, how did you get saved?
30:03
And I went through how you had given me the track and I read the track and she goes, did you believe?
30:10
I said, I did. I trusted the Lord. You know, I knew, you know,
30:13
I knew he was the only one that could save me and da-da-da-da-da and I went through this, you know.
30:21
Plan of salvation, you know, explained it to her and everything and she's just
30:25
nodding her head and then at the end of it, you know, I just looked at her and I was like, so...
30:31
You know, I don't, and she's like, well, it looks to me like,
30:35
you know, you led your, you got saved.
30:37
So I just think, you know, you just didn't, you just needed to be reassured that you were saved.
30:43
And girl, she goes, there's not a, you know, we're all selfish if you think
30:48
about it in asking the Lord to
30:50
save us, you know, because we're selfish enough not to want to go to hell.
30:55
And that just, you know, that just like, okay. That was my primary motivation.
30:59
I didn't want to go to hell.
31:01
And when she said that, I was like, wow, you know, so even God is even gracious
31:08
enough to forgive us for our selfishness and asking for forgiveness,
31:12
you know, for salvation and whatnot.
31:14
And so I walked out of there. So I say I got saved in September of 96,
31:21
but the Lord reconfirmed it in February of 2008.
31:28
So let me ask you this, just because, you know, there might be people listening.
31:32
Maybe they're under the same illusions. Maybe they're kind of like doubting
31:37
whether or not they're saved.
31:38
What would be the best piece of advice that you can tell them today,
31:43
knowing what you know and what you've gone through?
31:46
That if you have doubt, you go to the Lord with it. You go to His Word.
31:53
You can, you know, thankfully I had Mrs.
31:57
Lewis or Mrs. Brown, but she made me go through God's word, God's everything.
32:04
And that's what solidified it.
32:06
It wasn't Mrs. Brown that solidified it for me. It was his word that solidified it for me.
32:11
So if there's some, you know, if somebody has doubts about it,
32:15
the only way you're going to get confirmation is through his word.
32:17
Would you say that it's healthy to ask those questions? Oh, definitely.
32:23
I would not there it's like what is it there's no such thing as a stupid question
32:29
and so just stupid people just stupid people most of them are on 35 no but so
32:37
if you have fears you if you have doubts go to somebody that you know.
32:44
Uses God's Word, I guess you could say. It's not going to be their opinion.
32:49
It's not going to be that they're actually going to sit there and go through
32:52
God's Word with you to answer those questions. Pray about it.
32:57
God's leading on that. But don't shy away from asking anything.
33:02
There is no such thing as stupid questions.
33:04
God has an answer for every stupid question. Yeah, I mean, I knew when I got
33:10
saved. I knew when I got saved.
33:12
However, I went through a roller coaster of emotions, doctrinal beliefs, churches.
33:17
So I even, you know, I know the first two or three, four years in the military,
33:22
I had doubts of salvation.
33:24
But like you said, you have to get it settled.
33:28
It eventually got settled for me by eventually just believing what the Bible
33:33
said about it. So once, like you said, you confirm it by the word of God,
33:37
it was the one verse for me is 1 John 5, 13.
33:41
It says, these things have I written unto you that, you know,
33:43
believe on the name of the Son of the Lord that you may know you have.
33:46
And I realize it says, these things have I written that you may know.
33:51
And so that's how I settled it. And so like to your point, I say it's healthy to ask questions.
33:57
Don't just ignore it. Don't pretend you're saved or live as if you think you're
34:02
saved, but you're not. I would rather get it confirmed.
34:05
Or that you're not biblically smart. Right. I am...
34:11
You can ask me, even today, and I really think it's just, you know,
34:15
the lifestyle I had, you know, messed things up for me.
34:18
But I can quote scripture, but I can't say I can do it word for word.
34:23
And I probably can't give you half the addresses.
34:25
It doesn't, you know, I can, I know where to find things in the Bible.
34:29
I know those kind of things. You know, God has blessed me being married to you.
34:34
You know, to me, you're like Bible guru genius.
34:38
So, but I can't live off of that. I can't live off of your knowledge.
34:41
But at the same time, I lost my train of thought there.
34:46
As far as not knowing or remembering. Yeah, don't pretend.
34:49
Don't pretend that, you know, oh, because I carry my Bible and I read through
34:53
my Bible that I can't ask questions.
34:57
That people are going to look at me like, oh, my goodness.
34:59
You know, you've been saved how many years and you're asking that question?
35:03
I've heard somebody say that a faith that's not tried is not a faith that's
35:07
strengthened. Because God's word is going to be a mystery till.
35:11
But you need to settle it either way. You need to settle it. Anyways.
35:15
Let me ask you this question just because based off of your background.
35:19
And I don't know who all listens to the podcast. Maybe the three people out
35:23
there listening right now.
35:25
Well, no two because we got haunted. They're like, what?
35:29
Let me ask you this. So, because I know, what kind of advice would you have for,
35:35
I mean, a young lady or a lady that is struggling, that maybe,
35:39
you know, they're at that point kind of where you were 30 years ago,
35:44
thinking there was no hope, there was no, you know, purpose in life,
35:48
or now you're struggling, you have this child that you have to take care of.
35:52
Based on what you know and what you've learned through your faith,
35:55
like, what kind of advice would you give that person?
35:58
That's hard. If you're not saved, well, you're not going to have any listeners that are not saved.
36:05
Well, you never know. You never know. If you're not saved, you'd say.
36:10
I guess, can I be very frank? Sure. Okay.
36:15
So if I could go back, then I would tell myself people validation is not the answer.
36:28
Okay, I was looking for a lot of people validation. I was looking to be validated
36:33
and I was worthy to be loved.
36:34
I was worthy to be accepted. I was worthy of all those things because if I wasn't
36:40
looking for that validation, I don't think I would have landed in some of the
36:43
relationships that I did.
36:44
So people validation is definitely not the answer.
36:48
You know, you need to find a resource or something to hold onto that's gonna
36:55
show that you are worthy.
36:56
And obviously, that's God, you know And as a saved person, I would give the same advice,
37:06
I know as a young Christian, not having the discipleship Not having the teaching,
37:13
you know, that kind of thing The woman leadership that I should have had,
37:17
I, one, strongly, again, people validation is not what you need You need to
37:26
find somebody that you would consider.
37:30
To be a godly woman that is following God's Word and make the effort to get under their wing,
37:41
so to speak, to see if you can ask them, I'm struggling. I don't know how to do these things.
37:48
I don't know what it is to be a godly wife. I don't know what it is to be a godly worker.
37:53
I don't know what, you know, whatever the case may be, a godly mother,
37:56
can you help me in that direction?
37:57
Or can you guide me to somebody who can help me instead of pretending and doing it on your own?
38:06
Ultimately, you know, God's word is going to show you, but I think God does
38:10
put people in your life to be able to help solidify those things,
38:16
help you understand them better,
38:18
help you to lead you in the right direction, give you those examples.
38:22
Because I can read the Bible And I can, you know, I, which, and those stories,
38:28
I know they're true, but it's not as true as actually being around somebody
38:32
that's living it, that sits next to me in church or whatever.
38:36
So I would say that, you know I.
38:40
When I was the early part of my My Christian walk A lot of it was people validation
38:46
I just wanted to make sure I was I looked right in front of people That I was,
38:52
you know That I had their acceptance Because I dressed right I did what they
38:56
told me to do I acted the Christian that they said Was supposed to be a Christian
39:01
way And that kind of thing But there was no growth.
39:05
And the only way I would say, if you're going to focus on validation,
39:09
fine, be validated by God. Yeah.
39:12
So how would you say that extends, like, you know, kind of the validation piece of it?
39:17
Because I know they're, and I don't know, maybe there's somebody that's on the precipice.
39:21
Maybe they grew up in church and they think that getting out of the shackles
39:28
of the church and, you know, the conservatism and stuff like that,
39:31
like going to the world, they're going to find happiness and peace.
39:34
What would you say to a person like that?
39:38
Okay, so I think it's very different in this day and age. Social media is such a big thing now.
39:45
Fortunately, majority of the young people that I see, it's about that,
39:52
you know, about what they're doing, you know, who they're showing it to,
39:57
you know, their life on social media, that kind of thing.
40:01
And it's, but there was this, it was a pastor, I don't know remember where,
40:06
and he was talking about how these days, Sunday school teaching,
40:12
and he was, you know, he was talking about, and I will get to that point.
40:16
He was talking about, like, in Sunday schools nowadays, you can teach all the Bible stories, right?
40:24
You can teach them about Daniel, you can teach about Noah, you can teach them
40:27
about Moses and all these things. But when they become teenagers or young people,
40:32
80% of those people are going to just flip out of their faith.
40:36
He says, because they grew up on Bible stories. They didn't grow up on biblical foundations.
40:43
And you ask the average young believer or young person believer nowadays,
40:50
why are they a Christian? Why do they believe the Bible?
40:54
Why do they believe whatever it may be?
40:57
And none of them can answer it There's no foundation There wasn't anything All
41:02
they grew up on was stories,
41:06
So as somebody Which I wish I could have Because I think In my earlier Christian walk I grew up on.
41:17
Quote-unquote grew under, not stories, but I guess you can say I didn't grow under foundations.
41:25
I had a lot of Bible, but I didn't know how to apply it to myself.
41:29
I didn't know how to grow with that.
41:31
I knew dispensations. I knew all that kind of thing, but how did that apply
41:38
to me as a Christian? How do I use that in my life?
41:41
How do I grow, you know, how do I use that day-to-day as a mom,
41:45
as a daughter, as a wife, as a sister, and so forth.
41:50
So I would say you need to get biblical foundation, whether it's on your own
41:56
or finding somebody to, you know, there's so many outlets out there that can help you grow.
42:04
I would... Well, knowing that you lived, you know, 24 years of your life out
42:09
in the world, But then you have
42:11
these kids that grow up in church and they think the answer is out there.
42:15
What would you say to it? It's not.
42:20
Okay. I'm trying to keep this as. Yeah, no, I mean, it's fine.
42:25
As nicely as I can. Be real, but be G-rated. And there's nothing that frustrates me more.
42:32
And I think I can say that for a lot of Christians, older Christians out there
42:36
that came from the world and got saved later in life, going through those experiences,
42:41
and kids want to go to that.
42:42
You kind of just want to smack them and say, like, you have it so good.
42:49
I don't get it. I don't get it. i
42:52
would tell them well actually i
42:55
don't i think i
42:58
would just have them sit down with me and let's let's compare let's compare
43:05
where you know how did you grow let's see where i go let's compare that let's
43:10
you know i think they forget they it becomes so the christian life becomes so routine.
43:17
Routine that they forget how good they have it.
43:21
And I think, honestly, I don't think it would hurt for some of these kids to
43:27
walk, you know, not, I'm saying kick them out the door, but I'm just saying
43:30
to take them down and let them see what life could, you know, hear it from somebody.
43:36
This is what I went through. Do you honestly want that?
43:39
You know, how could you, how would you want to turn your back on a God that
43:44
so graciously gave you this gift of a life that you can live, you know,
43:49
free of all of that, just for a moment of— Yeah, so you're walking away from
43:55
fellowship and love and people that care about you.
43:59
I don't think—yeah, I don't—the effects. I mean, we've seen that even in our own kids.
44:04
Sometimes where not knowing how their actions can really, you know.
44:12
Destroy, not just, it doesn't just destroy one relationship,
44:15
it's a domino effect, and it can go on and on and on.
44:22
After that moment. And it could last for a year. It could last for years down the line.
44:26
You just don't know the implications that those kind of actions have,
44:31
like what kind of, you know, the trust.
44:33
And that's another thing, too, is that you can't undo them. No.
44:36
Once you go down that road and you do certain things. You know,
44:39
you lose the respect, you lose the trust, you lose.
44:42
I mean, people will still love you, but now that testimony factor has that mark on there.
44:48
And even though you can come back and be and ask
44:51
the lord for forgiveness and restore relationships i mean
44:55
we're all made out of you still yeah you still so and you're
44:58
gonna reap what you sow yeah at the end of the day unfortunately yeah so
45:02
so now you've been a mom for 30 years and this will be kind of like we can kind
45:06
of close the show out on this but you've been a mom for 30 years you've been
45:11
a wife for 30 years what's your advice to and then i know babe i know we none
45:17
of us look at ourselves as like the marriage expert, right?
45:21
But just in your honesty, based off of what the Lord has kind of allowed you
45:26
to grow through and the lessons you've learned, what kind of advice would you
45:31
give maybe a younger mother?
45:33
Let's just say, you know, a mother that either they're about to have kids,
45:38
they have very young kids, toddlers, they're trying to raise them.
45:42
What one or two or three pieces of advice would you give that?
45:47
That lady. Okay.
45:51
I think one of the things that, one of the pieces of advice I would definitely
45:55
give is, let me, let me back.
45:58
So we just had a women's conference, a ladies conference at our church. It was amazing.
46:03
Unfortunately, I didn't get to intend all of it, but I did get to hear Miss
46:08
Abby, the first part on Friday.
46:11
And she, man, just what she taught on or what she gave us, it was just so good.
46:19
But one of the things that really stuck in my mind is where she was talking
46:23
in Ephesians where it says, be submitted unto even your own husbands, you know, kind of thing.
46:30
And then she went on to say that we tend to treat other women's husbands better
46:36
than our own and how our husbands didn't even know what true respect is because
46:41
we haven't given them the biblical respect that, you know,
46:45
that they should receive and that kind of thing.
46:47
So going, taking that mindset and applying it even to our kids.
46:56
Raise your own kids. Don't try to raise based on somebody else's kids.
47:02
Okay, you're not trying to mimic.
47:05
You don't know the circumstances in somebody else's home. You don't know what they do.
47:10
You don't know what their reasoning for the things that they do in their home are.
47:17
You don't have that marriage.
47:21
So don't try to raise somebody else's family.
47:26
God gave you your children the way they are for you.
47:34
My kids have helped me grow as a Christian in more ways than they could ever think.
47:42
Practice what you preach, right? Out of the mouths of babes, right?
47:46
There have been many times where the kids were, the girls, Ikea,
47:50
will say something, do something, and God is like, see?
47:55
You know, and oh, okay, yeah, I get it now. And so raise your own kids.
48:02
Don't raise somebody else's kids. Focus on your own. Another one,
48:08
shut up and wait. Don't speak about the could-bes, the have-nots, and whatnot.
48:17
I remember when the kids were little, you know, all you ever want as a Christian
48:23
parent is for your kids to grow and serve the Lord.
48:25
But you don't know in what capacity. You know, you have your dreams,
48:30
you have what you would love for your kids to do, but when you keep harping that on your kids,
48:36
I think we tend to stop the Lord from working on them because then they're.
48:46
Impressionable to what we want and they want to please us.
48:49
So they're like, this is what dad and mom want. They want me to do this. They want me to do this.
48:53
And God might have a whole different, you know, I would have never thought my
48:58
girls to be teaching, you know, and all three of them were great teachers.
49:04
You know, that's not something I envisioned when they were little,
49:09
but that's what God wanted them to do.
49:11
And so I'm glad that they still were able to go down that route. But yeah,
49:18
You know, I can only imagine if I just would have kept pushing what I wanted
49:21
for them, how that would have been a different outcome. And then maybe they
49:25
wouldn't have been, you know, they would have missed out on what God had for them.
49:30
So just wait, wait and see what God's going to do with them before you start
49:34
telling them what God wants to do for them.
49:37
You know, pray about, pray with them, but let them, let God choose that for them.
49:44
And then another thing is Don't be the only source of information for your kids
49:50
Allow them find people outside of your home To help them grow You know,
49:57
I know I know what type of person I am I have the tendency to be a little too
50:02
honest A little too forthcoming,
50:05
And I do speak before I think You know.
50:10
So I try to find ladies or young ladies that may be able to.
50:21
Share, you know, my daughters who go to where they're, you know,
50:25
they don't have to, you know, where they're not listening to,
50:28
oh my goodness, you did what?
50:30
You know, kind of thing. Or I can't believe you did that. That was so dumb of
50:34
you. And, you know, or what, you know, me speaking before thinking kind of thing.
50:38
You know, don't be the only outlet your kids have. Don't, you know,
50:41
find people that they, you know, that you trust that, that, you know,
50:46
are going to be good for your kids that they can have an additional outlet to
50:51
where they can talk to them freely and maybe get, you know, some biblical advice from.
50:55
They can pray with, maybe not shy away from saying some of the things that they
51:00
don't want to come to you with.
51:01
You know, we have four girls, you know, so the boys.
51:06
And I would say just to kind of a guardrail around that is that our kids are grown up.
51:13
Yeah. So, you know, if your kids are toddlers or, you know what I mean,
51:17
little kids, I wouldn't suggest that necessarily. But if they're,
51:20
you know, once they're like, you know, high school, pre-college,
51:24
you know what I mean? Just that way. So just so people understand.
51:26
I'm sorry. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. Like, go talk to somebody on the street.
51:31
No. And, you know, even as toddlers, I would say this for toddlers,
51:36
make the Bible real to them.
51:37
There is no We have grandbabies now You know We have Four Number five Coming
51:44
along But if there's anything I want real in their life,
51:49
Is That there is a God That there is God's word And Heaven I want them to know
51:56
All those things I want it I want them to know that So You know Make.
52:01
God a big part of their lives. There's just too much. I mean,
52:06
we want to entertain our kids.
52:08
We want them to be like all the cool kids and that kind of thing.
52:12
And, but I think why, you know, you can still be a cool kid and still have God too.
52:19
But I would, you know, as little ones, you know, I would, you know,
52:24
make God make it exciting for him.
52:26
So yeah. And that kind of I think homeschooling and I just want to homeschooling is the best.
52:30
You don't have to stick to a schedule. I just want to point that away.
52:33
There's any moms out there homeschooling. You homeschool the way God leads you.
52:37
We're not on a calendar. We're not on a ticket. You know, we're not on a don't
52:42
try to if you're very organized, then do it that way. If you're disorganized, do it that way.
52:48
You know, there is no specific way to homeschool.
52:52
I loved homeschooling. That's why I'm in teaching, I guess.
52:56
Well, you're a great. fifth grade teacher.
52:59
And you do the three-year-olds, which I don't think anybody wants to take care of them, but you do.
53:04
You know what? Those three-year-olds are more fun than some people I know.
53:08
I don't take a three-year-old class over a high school class any day of the week.
53:12
I'm glad you admitted a lot of things on this, babe, because I have it in recording now.
53:18
You forgot to push play. Yes.
53:23
But but honestly i do appreciate it i know it's
53:26
it's it's always awkward you know giving your testimony and
53:29
saying things that you know trying to be careful about how much
53:32
you want to reveal and you don't want to you know you kind of put yourself out
53:35
there you're you know it makes you vulnerable so i do appreciate it i know you
53:39
didn't talk about how great of a husband i am and how you chased me down i'm
53:44
pretty sure i distinctly remember who called his mom I distinctly remember that
53:50
it was you chasing me down.
53:53
You need to make things right with God so that you can, you know, win me as the husband.
53:58
I will give you that. I get it. I will give you that. I get it.
54:01
I get it. Yeah. The things we did when we were by ourselves in San Antonio.
54:06
I'm just joking, but you are the, I mean, there, I don't know.
54:09
There's a whole lot of people out there that can say that they got to meet their
54:14
husbands in sixth grade.
54:15
Right. And then again, in ninth grade.
54:18
That's crazy. And he is the person that led you to the Lord.
54:22
And. I'm just, I'm just blown away that it's 30 years this year,
54:27
babe, that we've been married.
54:29
Isn't that crazy? That is just, it blows me away.
54:32
And that just shows how graceful and good the Lord's been. And taking care of
54:37
all of our needs. So, amen. Praise the Lord.
54:40
Well, babe, any last words, anything you want to say before we stop? God.
54:46
Well, Alan will do the magical editing of the dogs. Where all he hear is Robert saying.
54:53
The dogs walking around driving me nuts.
54:56
Anyway, so I apologize. I know this is it. This isn't normal.
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You can hear the background noise, but hey, we wanted this to be a little bit
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realistic and talk about it.
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But I do appreciate, babe, your testimony. I really think that,
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you know, other people that listen to it may get a blessing out of it. And you never know.
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It may really encourage them and strengthen them. Well, if you lose followers, I apologize now.
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Amen. Thank you, babe. I appreciate it. Thank you.