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How do narcissists learn your weaknesses · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  I am Lee Hammond, the diagnosed self aware narcissist known as
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  mental illness. And welcome to another episode
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  of the Narcissist Code. If you first it's your first
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  time. I see my face or hear my voice.
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  I use my platform to raise awareness for NPD, get more
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  people into therapy and validate the victim, survivors and
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  thrivers of said disorder, said Toxic.
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  People say toxic tricks. Today's episode is going to be
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  about how do narcissists learn your weaknesses?
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  How do they learn? What triggers you?
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  How, How, How? Before we hop in today, make
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  sure that y'all check out my new book on Amazon, New kids book.
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  It's called Remember. It's Not Your fault.
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  It helps kids understand that they're, you know, they can't
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  control the circumstances that they were born into.
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  How to respect boundaries and things like that.
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  Yeah, it's a very good, unique kids book.
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  Straight to the point. Check it out on Amazon.
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  Remember, it's not your fault about Lee Hammock.
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  But yeah, y'all yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  How do narcissists learn those weaknesses?
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  How? How?
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  How? Yeah.
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  They get you to trust them. That's the easiest.
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  Yeah, that's the easiest way to say it.
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  They get you to trust them. They get you to, they get you to
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  understand it. They get you to believe
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  everything that they say and do they get you to do this for
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  them. Y'all.
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  That's part of it. That's part of the dynamic of
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  dealing with a narcissist or dealing with a toxic person is
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  they get you to trust them. And then they when you trust
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  them, when you feel safe with them, you start to share with
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  them. You start to open up with them.
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  You start to just feel comfortable and confident in
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  sharing your secrets, Your deepest, darkest secrets, your
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  deepest, darkest traumas. The things that make you tick,
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  the things that make you move forward, the things that hold
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  you back in life, they've you feel comfortable enough to do
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  that type of stuff. Y'all.
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  There's nothing wrong with sharing information with people
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  because that's how things are supposed to be, right?
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  That's how things are supposed to be.
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  That like, you see it and you understand.
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  Like this is how things are supposed to be.
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  So you think you're thinking it's like we're supposed to be
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  taking these steps forward. We're supposed to trust.
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  We're supposed to trust each other.
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  We're supposed to share secrets, but just make sure that there is
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  an even and equal distribution of information with this person.
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  Y'all because narcissistic people, they love bomb you in
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  the beginning. Most most of them do.
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  Y'all. Not everybody gets love bombed.
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  Just be careful because not all narcissists will love by me.
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  Some people are mean from the beginning and they'll tell you
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  that they're mean from the beginning.
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  And sometimes y'all think y'all can change them.
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  You think it's oh, they're just joking.
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  This is just the them joking. They're playing with me.
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  They're not really mean or I can change them.
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  They haven't. They haven't met somebody like
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  me. Y'all don't.
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  How do I say this? Don't stop thinking you can
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  change people. Y'all, why do you have to do
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  that? Stop.
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  Stop thinking you can change people from the very, very
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  beginning. But if you if they don't fit
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  your criteria in the beginning, chances are they're not going to
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  fit it in the end or the middle or whenever.
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  They're not going to fit it. Y'all.
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  They're just not going to do that, you know?
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  Don't try to change people to fit you, you know?
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  And don't, I would just say don't change yourself to fit
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  people, but everybody's going to do what they want to do.
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  We're all adults here, or some most of y'all are those some
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  people. I have kids that listen to me
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  too. Apparently they're young, young,
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  young folks. Yeah.
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  They learn your weaknesses by getting you to trust them, by
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  making you feel safe and comfortable and you share you
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  know and sometimes you over share.
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  If you are just if you are just a natural over share you need
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  and you're going out into the dating world or trying to get
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  back out here into the world of dating and stuff like that, you
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  better watch your eyes. You you you need to practice
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  some tact and stop over sharing because you going to meet a
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  narcissistic person. They're going to love mom you,
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  and you're going to over share to your heart's desire, to your
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  heart's content and they're going to manipulate the hell out
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  of you. That's what I'm saying.
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  Like, you understand that space. You see where you are right now.
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  It's just like if you overshare, they're going to take advantage
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  of you. They just are.
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  That's the part of the dynamic. That's part of the crux.
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  This is where you're gonna go with it.
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  If you overshare, you're going to experience this right here.
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  This is part of how things are gonna go.
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  So do not over share your information.
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  Y'all. Just keep it to yourself, you
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  know, make them earn it. Make them earn your information
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  from the beginning. You know, I tell people that
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  just like stop giving people the benefit of the doubt, make
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  people earn your information because that's those are two
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  things right there. They just ruin people's lives.
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  If you if you give the wrong person the benefit of the doubt,
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  you're going to waste a lot of your natural waste, a lot of
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  your time in your life dealing with this person.
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  But another way, y'all that they learn your weaknesses is by they
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  tell you. They tell you some of theirs.
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  They they give you like a little snake.
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  They slow drip you some of their weaknesses like oh here's a
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  little slow, here's like a little thimble full of my
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  weaknesses right here. They give you a thimble full,
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  you know, not not even a real thimble.
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  They give you the thimble. Y'all play Monopoly, the video
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  game, how big that thimble is. That's what they give you full
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  of their weaknesses or their triggers or their trauma.
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  You know, they give you a little, a little Monopoly sized
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  thimble full of their trauma and they expect you to give them a
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  bucket of yours. You know, you they give you a
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  thimble, you give them a gallon bucket, they give you a thimble
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  of what, what, what, that, what they feel like their weaknesses
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  are what they can work on. You give them a gallon bucket
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  and then they use that against you.
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  Y'all narcissistic people, a lot of them are out here just trying
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  to gather more information so that so that they can weaponize
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  it and use it against you. This is it could be, yeah, it
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  could be as simple as that. Right there.
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  They're trying to gather all this information just so later
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  on they can weaponize it against you.
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  They just can They get into that space.
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  They're like, OK, I'm going to do this right here.
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  I, you know, I got you right here.
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  I'm going to weaponize this. I'm going to weaponize this
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  stuff against you because it benefits me.
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  I'm going to weaponize your trauma and your triggers so so I
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  can use them to put you, to keep you in your place.
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  I can threaten to blackmail you. I can do all of this stuff with
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  your trauma, with your trauma and your triggers.
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  And then I got you. You know what?
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  That's how they keep you. That's how they keep you in
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  track. Because you they'll tell you
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  like they'll use it. Of course they use it against
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  you, but they'll use this stuff against you when you least
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  expect it. Like you, you are out here just
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  trying to gather your senses. You are here trying to make
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  things work for yourself. You are here trying to grind and
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  keep everything moving forward. But then you end up talking to
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  this toxic narcissistic person and it sets you off.
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  Because they that you, you tell them what triggers you and they
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  use it against you. Because if I can trigger you, I
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  can control you. If they can trigger you, they
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  can control you. If they can get you to react,
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  they can control you. Because, like that's why I said
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  if I tell y'all know, I say this all the time to people.
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  Controlling your reactions is a superpower against narcissists
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  and toxic people. It is controlling what triggers
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  you. Controlling your reactions and
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  how you react to somebody that's trying to trigger you on purpose
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  can help protect you, can help guard you, can help keep you
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  safe and strong and whatnot because you have to.
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  Because I'll be damned. And that toxic narcissistic
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  person doesn't learn what triggers you and use it against
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  you later on. I haven't heard.
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  I haven't met a narcissistic person that hasn't used
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  something that you've told them against you.
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  Do you know what I mean? Like, they haven't.
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  They haven't. They get you to trust them.
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  And you they they get, they get you to trust them or feel safe
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  with them. And when you, of course, if you
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  feel safe with them, you look at them like a like if you feel
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  safe with a narcissist or a taxi person or whoever.
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  You look at this person like a vault, right?
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  This person is a vault. You look at them as a vault, OK.
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  This person, like, I can feel the same with this person.
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  They I can give them my information and they're going to
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  hold it within themselves like a vault, like a then they need a
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  key or access code to get to my stuff, you know?
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  So they will do that right there.
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  They do that. They literally do that right
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  there. Yeah, like a vault.
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  They they you want them to hold that information.
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  You want them to do this, do that, and you want them to keep
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  that, keep this type of stuff moving forward.
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  You know, you want them to keep that stuff to themselves.
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  But they if you're dealing with a narcissistic person and they
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  feel like you're rubbing them the wrong way or you go against
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  them or you embarrass them, they will use the information against
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  you later on. They just will.
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  Yeah, they'll bring it up in passing.
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  They'll use it in a dog whistle. They will do that type of stuff
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  all the time and another way that a narcissist learn the
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  final way. I'm talking about y'all, how
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  they learn your triggers is and what what triggers you or what
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  gets you to react is they you're, they get your friends
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  and family to tell them. They get the people around you
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  to tell them you know, they look online.
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  They get they look. They look for alternate.
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  They look for other sources to get information for about you
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  from. You know, they will look for
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  other sources to gather information, to gather your
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  triggers, to gather your weaknesses, to gather your
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  strengths and things like that, to see what makes you tick.
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  They'll ask your friend. They'll get in good with your
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  friends and family and ask your friends and family what happened
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  in your old relationships. To ask your friends and family
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  what you know, what you've been through so they can so they
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  won't do the same thing. They lie.
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  You know they lie. That's another way.
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  Y'all they lie. They lie to get your triggers.
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  You know they lie. That's that's another way.
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  They just will outright lie to you to get information from you.
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  They will lie to your friends and family to get information
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  about you. They they will do this to y'all
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  by any means necessary in toxic narcissistic relationship.
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  This is the way it goes. It's just part of it.
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  Y'all it is. It is part of it.
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  And y'all know once they learn your triggers again, if y'all
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  can find a narcissistic person that does not weaponize
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  triggers, that has not used your triggers against you because
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  they won't do it at y'all. They won't do it at first.
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  You know, like I said at the beginning, if they are sharing
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  something with you and then you share something, if you share
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  something with them, they'll promise not to use it against
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  you. They're not going to use it
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  against you. At first, they'll seemingly be
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  empathetic towards your struggles, but really, they're
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  putting it. They're putting your struggles
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  and your trauma in like this little Rolodex to be used
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  against you. Later on, they're going to
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  weaponize your trauma against you.
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  They're going to try to hurt you.
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  They're going to try to manipulate you, and they're
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  going to try to keep you down. They must say, protect your
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  information, guard your information, guard your heart,
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  Guard your soul. You have y'all you have to, you
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  know, you have to guard yourself.
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  Because why? Why would Why would they guard
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  you? You know, I know people just
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  like, well, leave this. Why would they guard you?
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  Think about it, tell you about it from that perspective right
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  there. Yo, why would they guard your
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  information if, especially if they if they feel like you've
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  wronged them or you hurt them, they're going to use your
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  information against you. And I know that sucks to hear
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  it, but like because you trusted them but they're going to use
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  your information against you. They just thought yo.
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  Anyways, y'all, I appreciate you tuning into another episode.
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  Y'all Self Love Journal is on Amazon.
• 10:51
  I'll the kids book is on Amazon. Check both of them out.
• 10:54
  Y'all if you have kids, this is for the kids.
• 10:56
  They have the kids work on them. This is for you to work on
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  yourself. Self Love journal.
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  I can subscribe for more. Y'all this is out Please Thanks
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  so much for making this into my video.
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  Y'all If you haven't already, make sure you check out my self
• 11:09
  love journal on Amazon Lee Hammock I love me a self love
• 11:13
  journal Help you rebuild their self love and authenticity after
• 11:16
  a touch relationship. Thank you.