Latest / Marriage Life and More and Bible Study / Work, Calling, and Shared Purpose (Marriage as a Mission) Pt 2 - 345

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Work, Calling, and Shared Purpose (Marriage as a Mission) Pt 2 - 345 · Marriage Life and More and Bible Study

0:05
Daniel Moore: Marriage has a funny way of revealing just how different two people can really be.
0:10
Daniel Moore: One spouse hears God is calling me into something new and immediately starts dreaming, planning, and making color-coded vision boards.
0:17
Daniel Moore: The other spouse hears the exact same thing and starts calculating budgets, checking calendars, and wondering if this quote unquote calling is going to somehow involve spending money they don't currently have.
0:29
Daniel Moore: And honestly, somewhere between ministry dreams, work schedules, raising kids, paying bills, and trying to figure out why there are 17 coffee cups scattered around the house, couples can slowly drift from being partners in purpose to simply surviving the week together.
0:43
Daniel Moore: But God never designed marriage to be two exhausted people merrily managing chaos under the same roof.
0:49
Daniel Moore: He designed it to be a spiritual partnership where husbands and wives encourage one another, strengthen one another, and walk together in the purposes he placed in their lives.
0:57
Daniel Moore: The problem is when communication breaks down, support disappears, or finances become a source of secrecy and tension, the marriage itself begins to fill the strain.
1:07
Daniel Moore: One spouse feels unseen, the other feels misunderstood.
1:11
Daniel Moore: And before long, conversations about calling, money, dreams, or responsibilities can start sounding less like teamwork and more like emotional dodgeball.
1:20
Daniel Moore: This week we're talking about what it truly looks like to support your spouse spiritually, emotionally, and practically, whether that's encouraging their God-given calling or stewarding finances together with wisdom and unity.
1:32
Daniel Moore: Because healthy marriages aren't built by two people fighting for control, they're built by two people learning how to trust God and move in the same direction together.
1:41
Daniel Moore: When couples stop competing against each other and start partnering with each other, marriage becomes powerful.
1:48
Daniel Moore: Welcome to Marriage Life and More.
1:52
Daniel Moore: This is a podcast about marriage, Bible and book studies, interview people with inspiring stories.
1:57
Daniel Moore: I'm Daniel Moore, your host.
1:58
Daniel Moore: Over next to me is my beautiful co-host, my wife Michelle.
2:01
Michelle Moore: Hey, hey.
2:02
Daniel Moore: Thank you for joining us this week.
2:04
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2:09
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2:11
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2:14
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2:18
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2:21
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2:22
Daniel Moore: Give us a thumbs up or five-star review and Apple Podcast, and we'd be thankful to you for doing that.
2:28
Daniel Moore: Well, last week as we continued our series on marriage as a mission, uh, we're in episode nine at this point.
2:36
Daniel Moore: We did part one of that as we started talking about how our workplaces and the jobs that we have, those those things that we don't we get tired of Monday through Friday.
2:47
Daniel Moore: We don't like to get out of bed and people are retired.
2:50
Daniel Moore: Go partake in.
2:51
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
2:52
Daniel Moore: Uh how all of that actually can be used as a mission field.
2:56
Daniel Moore: How, you know, those jobs, God's blessed us with those.
3:00
Daniel Moore: And uh that's the way that He's blessed us with sustaining our life on a daily basis and the things that we have.
3:06
Daniel Moore: I mean, all of that hinges on that job that he's given us.
3:10
Daniel Moore: And it's up to us on how we walk into that, whether if we look at that as a burden every day or if we will actually take that and decide how we're gonna use that as a mission field for Christ and to minister to the coworkers that we have around us.
3:24
Daniel Moore: Well, this week we're gonna go ahead and jump into part two of this discussion and finish up that episode as we get into part two of work, calling, and shared purpose.
3:54
Michelle Moore: There was a woman named Sarah who carried a deep calling from God in her heart for years.
3:59
Michelle Moore: Ever since she was young, she felt drawn toward helping broken and hurting women find healing, restoration, and hope through Christ.
4:10
Michelle Moore: She dreamed of leading women's outreach ministries, praying with women caring, hidden pain, and reminding people that no life is too far gone for God's grace.
4:22
Michelle Moore: When she married her husband Mark, she naturally assumed they would encourage one another's dreams and support each other's purpose.
4:31
Michelle Moore: After all, isn't that what marriage is supposed to be?
4:35
Michelle Moore: Two people building a life together, walking side by side toward what God has called them to do.
4:42
Michelle Moore: But somewhere along the way, things became complicated.
4:47
Michelle Moore: Mark wasn't necessarily against ministry.
4:50
Michelle Moore: He loved God, cared about his family, and wanted stability in their home.
4:55
Michelle Moore: But he didn't fully understand Sarah's passion or why it mattered so deeply to her.
5:01
Michelle Moore: As the years passed, his discomfort slowly turned into resistance.
5:06
Michelle Moore: Sometimes it came through subtle comments like, Do you really need to be involved in all of that?
5:13
Michelle Moore: Shouldn't you focus more on the house right now?
5:16
Michelle Moore: Or I just don't think this is the right season for you.
5:20
Michelle Moore: And sometimes the hardest discouragement isn't loud criticism, it's quiet dismissal.
5:27
Michelle Moore: Sarah tried pushing forward a while.
5:31
Michelle Moore: She believed that if she stayed faithful, eventually Mark would understand her heart.
5:36
Michelle Moore: She attended ministry meetings, encouraged women, prayed for people, and continued trying to pour into others.
5:44
Michelle Moore: But every time she came home feeling excited about what God was doing, she was met with indifference, attention, or subtle disapproval.
5:54
Michelle Moore: Over time, something inside her began to shrink.
5:58
Michelle Moore: Not because God stopped calling her, but because unsupported callings slowly become exhausting.
6:05
Michelle Moore: And honestly, many marriages quietly struggle in this exact area.
6:11
Michelle Moore: One spouse feels passionate about something God places in their heart, while the other spouse feels confused, insecure, neglected, or even threatened by it.
6:21
Michelle Moore: Sometimes it's ministry, sometimes it's a business dream, sometimes it's serving, teaching, mentoring, creating, fostering, leading, or stepping into a purpose that they've never fully explored before.
6:38
Michelle Moore: And if couples aren't careful, they begin pulling against each other instead of growing with one another.
6:45
Daniel Moore: This is a spot I think that a lot of couples sometimes don't think about when they get married, because as we get married, we think that we're gonna automatically be behind each other's thoughts and dreams and the things that come up within our marital relationship.
7:00
Daniel Moore: But one thing that I can say, you know, you as you read that story, there's so many different emotions I think that I kind of felt as you read that with how she could probably be feeling.
7:13
Daniel Moore: Because I know the most biggest thing for me, one of the biggest things for me, and what we've talked about this before, you know, I do crave you to be supportive of me.
7:24
Daniel Moore: And I think that with the things that you do, you really hope that I'm going to support you in the dreams and the ideas that you have.
7:32
Daniel Moore: And we know that as we come into a relationship, you got two different personalities, you got two different people with two different thought processes, and all of these differences have to come together somewhere in the middle and make sense somehow.
7:45
Daniel Moore: And if both spouses aren't on board to encourage each other in whatever those areas are, and some of those might even be gifts.
7:56
Daniel Moore: You know, there's gifts that spouses have sometimes that God calls them to do certain things because He has blessed them with a gift to be able to do that kind of thing.
8:05
Daniel Moore: Well, some spouses are so inconsiderate if they don't really look at it that way or don't understand, you know, maybe it's something off the wall and they don't see how that could be a gift, um, then they could actually potentially be a barrier for that other spouse to be able to move forward in that calling that God has created for them.
8:23
Daniel Moore: And I know, you know, back when I first started getting the idea of doing this podcast, it's about six years ago at this point, it's hard to believe it's been that long.
8:32
Daniel Moore: But, you know, one of the things that I had to pray through a little bit when I decided to do this, and I felt like this was the next season that God had me in, you know, back then it was something I did on my own because you weren't a part of it at that time.
8:45
Daniel Moore: And one of the things that I did have to wade through was I really hoped you would support me, you know, in this because I knew there was going to be times that I was gonna have to be in a room recording, you know, taking a little bit of time up from that.
8:57
Daniel Moore: There was gonna be equipment I was gonna have to purchase.
8:59
Daniel Moore: Uh, there was gonna be monthly fees associated with the podcasting platform and all that kind of stuff, you know.
9:06
Daniel Moore: And, you know, in my heart, I knew what I felt like God was wanting me to do and that he would help provide for all of that, but that wasn't your calling at that point.
9:16
Daniel Moore: And my things that I had to consider in my mind as I talked to you about it, you know, I watched real closely as I talked to you to see how you reacted each time I talked about this before I started it up and everything, because I was trying to read you a little bit to see is this gonna work.
9:31
Michelle Moore: I see how you are now.
9:33
Daniel Moore: Yeah, a little sneaky little sneaky and subtle.
9:36
Daniel Moore: See, she didn't realize I was doing doing that.
9:38
Daniel Moore: But but I think we all do that to each other sometimes when we have these ideas and these things that we want to do.
9:45
Daniel Moore: Uh, because I think, you know, deep down inside of us, secretly, we want to have uh the the okay from the person that's closest to us.
9:54
Daniel Moore: That hey, you know, no matter as you get into this, you know, there's gonna be bumps, there's gonna be blocks in the road sometimes, some days it's gonna be great, and it's gonna feel like everything's just falling into place.
10:04
Daniel Moore: But through all those different seasons, we want to know that our special person next to us is gonna be behind us and got our back.
10:11
Daniel Moore: Yeah, you know, and I feel, you know, this was a fake story that you just shared.
10:16
Daniel Moore: This was not a true story by any means, but this particular scenario happens all the time.
10:22
Daniel Moore: And it and it goes both ways.
10:24
Daniel Moore: You know, it could be the woman trying to get into ministry and the husband doesn't understand and starts doing resistance, be the man going into ministry and then the wife, you know, starts having resistance.
10:33
Daniel Moore: And you know, a lot of times that can happen because there is a strain put on at home.
10:38
Daniel Moore: If one spouse has a calling to do a certain thing and it starts taking some of their time away from their marriage, away from home things, uh, whatever it may be, you know, sometimes it's it's a bigger deal for a spouse to back that other spouse up because they're having to pick up the slack, you know, and fill in those those areas where the other spouse used to be there to help.
11:01
Daniel Moore: Well, now all of a sudden they're off doing something for Christ.
11:03
Daniel Moore: So there's a balance there that has to happen.
11:06
Daniel Moore: But at the same time, if God has truly put that calling on your spouse's life, but for whatever reason he didn't pick you or give you that calling to be in that same thing at that season of life, then that means our calling then is to be a support system.
11:24
Michelle Moore: Right.
11:25
Daniel Moore: And we have to believe in our spouse that they are doing something for Christ and that they're trying to move forward.
11:31
Daniel Moore: Right.
11:31
Daniel Moore: And I can guarantee you, I wouldn't be sitting here today doing a podcast with you if you had not backed me up in this from the very beginning.
11:40
Daniel Moore: You've always been very supportive of what I've done here with the ministry.
11:45
Daniel Moore: And as it's continued and as it's grown, I've gotten more and more listeners.
11:49
Daniel Moore: And then uh we felt like, you know, God wanted to use our testimony and we came together.
11:55
Daniel Moore: You know, I don't think I would be where I'm at right now if it hadn't been for you being there to back me up on that.
12:01
Daniel Moore: And now we both get to enjoy this together and have this ministry together and share in the rewards and and reap the rewards of all of this.
12:10
Daniel Moore: And I do have my Bible study one still on the side, and you still support me in that.
12:14
Daniel Moore: And you, you know, you give me opportunities, you know, if you need to go record, you know, go up there and get your recording done or whatever, I got this to do or whatever.
12:21
Daniel Moore: You know, that really means a lot to me because I know that when I have good days or bad days, even in ministry, because we know that ministry is not always perfect, and we have our our hills and valleys, because Satan does come up against us and tries to fight us, uh, I do know that you've got my back.
12:38
Daniel Moore: And, you know, as we continue with this thought process this week, marriage was never meant to silence purpose, it was meant to strengthen it.
12:45
Michelle Moore: Yeah.
12:46
Daniel Moore: You know, that story you just shared, Sarah began feeling torn between honoring her husband and obeying what she believed God was asking her to do.
12:53
Daniel Moore: I mean, imagine being torn between your spouse and God.
12:57
Daniel Moore: That would be a very difficult place to be.
12:59
Daniel Moore: You know, meanwhile, Mark felt increasingly disconnected, not realizing that his resistance wasn't protecting the marriage, it was quietly damaging it.
13:08
Daniel Moore: You know, distance crept into the relationship, conversations probably became shorter, resentment became deeper, expectations went unspoken, encouragement disappeared.
13:17
Daniel Moore: And, you know, isn't it amazing how quickly couples can drift emotionally without even noticing at first?
13:22
Daniel Moore: I mean, it just happens so quickly.
13:25
Daniel Moore: And, you know, I can see here where, you know, some spouses have a problem with uh feeling like that they're inferior, and they start getting a little jealous, a little jealousy can can set in.
13:38
Daniel Moore: And you know, I know if if a spouse got called into ministry and that spouse was very successful in it, and they started seeing people being led to Christ, they started, you know, mentoring people out of dark shadows into the light and start having all this success.
13:53
Daniel Moore: And this other spouse is back here watching all of this, and the more and more this happens, they feel like, well, where do I belong in this?
14:01
Daniel Moore: You know, they're getting all the glory, they're getting all the accolades and all that kind of thing.
14:06
Daniel Moore: And if they're not into this with the right mindset that God's called them to be their support system, they could get jealous real easy and say, Well, why don't I get to do any of that?
14:15
Daniel Moore: And then that resentment starts to set in towards the other spouse.
14:20
Daniel Moore: And that's not a good place to be, especially when this is a God thing.
14:23
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
14:23
Daniel Moore: When God has, you know, put this calling there in the first place.
14:27
Daniel Moore: So, you know, as we as we look at the emotional drifting, you know, one day you're laughing together in the kitchen, the next day you're arguing because somebody loaded the dishwasher wrong, or whatever these little arguments are that happen sometimes.
14:39
Daniel Moore: And let's be honest, every married couple eventually discovers that there are two kinds of people in this world: the spouse who squeezes the toothpaste from the bottom and the one living completely by faith in the middle of the tube.
14:50
Daniel Moore: You know, marriage has a funny way of exposing differences that we never expected, those unspoken expectations.
14:56
Daniel Moore: But beneath those small frustrations are often much deeper needs.
15:00
Daniel Moore: You know, we all want to feel supported, we want to feel understood, we want to know that we're still walking together.
15:07
Daniel Moore: That's why supporting your spouse's calling matters so deeply.
15:11
Daniel Moore: You know, if you look in Matthew chapter 19, verse 6, Jesus said, so they are no longer two but one flesh.
15:19
Daniel Moore: And that oneness isn't just about sharing a house, a last name or responsibilities.
15:24
Daniel Moore: It's about sharing purpose.
15:26
Daniel Moore: It's about learning how to stand beside one another and the things that God is doing in each other's lives.
15:32
Daniel Moore: When one spouse constantly suppresses the other's God-given calling, both people suffer.
15:38
Daniel Moore: The called spouse feels discouraged and emotionally depleted, the resistant spouse slowly grows frustrated and disconnected, and the marriage loses some of the joy that comes from pursuing God together.
15:50
Daniel Moore: You know, you would think that when you look at this thing of having a calling on your life that God's put there, that would be a good thing.
15:57
Daniel Moore: But isn't it funny how Satan can take things sometimes and get right in the middle of it, and he can start causing little twisted things to happen, and all of a sudden, what's supposed to be a fun thing that God's laid upon your heart, you're gonna touch lives, you're gonna pour into other people, you're gonna see people walk through things that they never thought they'd make it, but then God delivered them and you were part of that.
16:19
Daniel Moore: How all of a sudden that can just be a burden, yeah, because you're you're dragging along so much baggage, and part of that is your spouse because they won't back you up.
16:27
Daniel Moore: And you know, this is something that me and you have stated several times through multiple episodes, is how it's our job to support each other and push each other as far as we possibly can into God's purpose.
16:40
Daniel Moore: You or I, neither one should ever hold either of us back to what that calling is.
16:44
Daniel Moore: And like we've mentioned before, if that means it's time for me to step into the background at some point, or if it's for you to step into the background at some point, we both need to pray through that and make sure where we are on that, that we're on that same level with where God has us to be.
17:00
Daniel Moore: Because sometimes God does highlight people.
17:02
Daniel Moore: He has a certain thing for a certain person sometime.
17:05
Daniel Moore: He wants to use them to change others' lives and to change things.
17:09
Daniel Moore: And that means the people that are underneath behind them are there to support them, and then God's putting those people into place to push those people forward.
17:18
Daniel Moore: It's not a competition, right?
17:20
Daniel Moore: You know, it's not who can get the furthest, the fastest, and get the most stars on their crown in heaven for the, you know, helping people lead lead people to Christ.
17:28
Daniel Moore: It's not what it's about.
17:30
Daniel Moore: So go ahead and share that next point with us.
17:32
Michelle Moore: Yeah, when one spouse thrives in their God-given purpose, the marriage becomes stronger, not weaker.
17:38
Michelle Moore: Romans 12 6 reminds us we have different gifts according to the grace given to each of us.
17:45
Michelle Moore: That includes your spouse.
17:47
Michelle Moore: God intentionally designed husbands and wives with unique personalities, strengths, passions, and assignments.
17:55
Michelle Moore: Not every calling will look the same, and not every spouse will immediately understand the other's vision completely.
18:02
Michelle Moore: But support doesn't require full understanding, it requires to trust God.
18:08
Michelle Moore: Sometimes supporting your spouse simply means by saying, I may not fully understand this yet, but I believe God is working in your life and I want to walk beside you through it.
18:20
Michelle Moore: That kind of support changes everything because your spouse's words carry enormous weight.
18:26
Michelle Moore: A husband's encouragement can give his wife confidence to step boldly into purpose.
18:32
Michelle Moore: A wife's belief in her husband can strengthen him during seasons of insecurity and fear.
18:39
Michelle Moore: And the opposite is true too.
18:42
Michelle Moore: Discouragement from the person closest to you comes deeply.
18:46
Daniel Moore: So what are some things that you feel like God has called you to do that's separate from me?
18:50
Daniel Moore: Because we do have our ministry together that we do.
18:54
Daniel Moore: And so what are some things that you feel like God has gifted you with that you're able to use for his glory and to to push people forward?
19:03
Daniel Moore: You know, one I can think of right off the bat as your serv servant spirit, uh how you like to to host.
19:10
Daniel Moore: Do you think I would be a good baker and all that?
19:13
Michelle Moore: That's a negative.
19:14
Daniel Moore: Exactly.
19:15
Daniel Moore: I wouldn't even try it.
19:17
Daniel Moore: But when we do have things, life groups or whatever it may be, you know, people come over.
19:24
Daniel Moore: Uh well, take the podcast, for instance.
19:26
Daniel Moore: I produce another podcast besides ours.
19:29
Daniel Moore: And when they come over to record, guess what Michelle does every time they show up?
19:35
Daniel Moore: She makes goodies for them, puts out drinks.
19:38
Daniel Moore: I mean, she's got the smorgasboard laying out there on the counter and takes care of the guest and the host and everybody that does that podcast.
19:47
Daniel Moore: And it just floors them that she goes through this and it's once a month, uh, sometimes twice a month that they come over.
19:54
Daniel Moore: And, you know, it's a lot of work to me.
19:58
Daniel Moore: That's a lot of work.
19:59
Daniel Moore: I just, when I look at that, I'm like, uh, bacon, there's no way.
20:03
Daniel Moore: That's just not my wheelhouse.
20:05
Daniel Moore: But I sit back and I watch you do it, and how you get so excited when you look at Pinterest or you look at all these new, you're coming with these new recipes and stuff that I've never even eaten before, stuff you'd never made before.
20:17
Daniel Moore: You get so excited about that, and it just fulfills you to have that final product laying up there on plates and have everything sit out there waiting for them.
20:26
Daniel Moore: And that makes me proud.
20:28
Daniel Moore: It really does, because that's something I if it was left up to me, they'd probably be lucky, they'd have to ask for a bottle of water and I'd have to get out of the refrigerator, probably.
20:39
Daniel Moore: That's just what that's what would happen if it was left up to me.
20:42
Daniel Moore: I that's not my my thought process does not go to the hosting thing whatsoever.
20:48
Daniel Moore: But that's something that you do.
20:51
Michelle Moore: And notice he's answering because I'm over here going, I don't think I really have anything.
20:57
Daniel Moore: But see, I think sometimes we dumb down things that go.
20:59
Daniel Moore: And that's the reason why I'm saying that.
21:02
Michelle Moore: Because I mean, when and I mean, we're being real, first of all.
21:06
Michelle Moore: I mean, I'm just gonna, you know, tell him myself, when you did ask that question, I'm over here shaking my head.
21:11
Michelle Moore: I'm like, no, I don't really think I have anything.
21:14
Michelle Moore: Because in my mind, I think of ministry of like, like Dan's doing his podcast, or you're an evangelist, or you know, you're going out in the streets, or you know, you're doing that.
21:24
Michelle Moore: But he's right, we all have it, our gifts, and we all have um what we can do for the Lord.
21:32
Michelle Moore: It's just some of us look at things a little bit differently, and it's really hard because I look at him and I'm thinking, oh gosh, I'll never get there.
21:40
Michelle Moore: You know, but I do have my gifts and I and I have so much compassion.
21:44
Michelle Moore: I mean, that is one of my biggest things.
21:46
Michelle Moore: I have a lot of compassion and love for others.
21:50
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
21:50
Daniel Moore: And there's no way I could be where I'm at without your support behind me.
21:53
Daniel Moore: I mean, there's things that you do that propels me forward to be where I'm at at this point.
21:59
Daniel Moore: Point.
22:00
Daniel Moore: It takes two of us to be able to pull all this off.
22:03
Daniel Moore: And, you know, that's why I was I wanted to bring that up because I know that you don't look at it as much like that as I do.
22:12
Daniel Moore: But I hear everybody that comes in and just and I know you don't like like to hear it said this way, but they throw praise on you and they thank you so much and it means so much to them the stuff that you do.
22:24
Daniel Moore: And you know, they they really highly respect you as a person for what you do and you make them feel so welcome.
22:32
Daniel Moore: And stuff like that is so important.
22:34
Daniel Moore: You are, but it takes those kinds of people to help the ones that are out in the front.
22:41
Daniel Moore: You know, we can't people that are out in the front can't do it all on their own.
22:45
Daniel Moore: They've got a group of a posse behind them.
22:47
Michelle Moore: I knew you were gonna say posse.
22:49
Daniel Moore: Pushing the behind, pushing them forward, you know.
22:51
Daniel Moore: So we always got to make sure that we're positive with our spouses when we have callings and we have giftings and all that kind of thing, and make sure that we help each other.
23:01
Daniel Moore: You know, the voice of a spouse can either water a calling or slowly wither it.
23:05
Daniel Moore: And again, this comes back to communication to a point on how we speak to each other.
23:10
Daniel Moore: You know, this is why marriage cannot become reared in selfishness, insecurity, or control.
23:15
Daniel Moore: Supporting your spouse's calling requires humility.
23:18
Daniel Moore: It requires laying down personal fears and trusting that God's plans are bigger than our comfort zones.
23:23
Daniel Moore: And how many of us like to stay in our comfort zones and don't want to get out of those?
23:28
Daniel Moore: Every one of us has those moments.
23:30
Daniel Moore: And honestly, sometimes insecurity disguises itself as concern.
23:34
Daniel Moore: You know, sometimes spouses resist each other's growth because they fear being left behind.
23:39
Daniel Moore: They fear change, they fear sacrifice, they fear losing attention, they they fear feeling unnecessary.
23:46
Daniel Moore: But healthy marriages understand something important.
23:48
Daniel Moore: Your spouse stepping into purpose is not competition, it's a kingdom partnership.
23:53
Daniel Moore: You know, if we go back to Ephesians 5.25, it tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
24:00
Daniel Moore: That kind of love doesn't suppress growth, it nurtures it.
24:04
Daniel Moore: It protects identity and it creates a space for flourishing.
24:08
Daniel Moore: You know, let's look at that story that you shared earlier about Sarah and Mark.
24:12
Daniel Moore: You know, imagine how different that story could have been if Mark had responded differently.
24:17
Daniel Moore: What if instead of dismissing Sarah's heart, he had prayed with her about it?
24:21
Daniel Moore: What if he had listened instead of assuming?
24:24
Daniel Moore: What if he had encouraged her instead of resisting her?
24:27
Daniel Moore: Everything could have changed.
24:29
Daniel Moore: You know, Sarah would no longer have felt alone carrying the burden of her calling.
24:33
Daniel Moore: Mark would have become part of the ministry in his own unique way, you know, one of those people in the background.
24:38
Daniel Moore: Their marriage could have grown stronger through shared purpose instead of drifting apart through misunderstanding.
24:44
Daniel Moore: And that's the beauty of biblical marriage.
24:46
Daniel Moore: It's not about one person standing in front of the other while the other falls behind.
24:51
Daniel Moore: It's actually about walking side by side.
24:54
Daniel Moore: Sometimes one spouse leads in one season while the other supports.
24:58
Daniel Moore: Sometimes those roles reverse.
25:00
Daniel Moore: Sometimes both are carrying different assignments at the same time.
25:04
Daniel Moore: But healthy couples refuse to become obstacles to each other's obedience to God.
25:08
Daniel Moore: I think that's such a valid statement.
25:11
Daniel Moore: You know, you and I actually, for the longest time at church, actually served in different areas.
25:18
Daniel Moore: And we didn't do things together.
25:21
Daniel Moore: So we had a season that we did a lot of stuff separately, but we were again doing a needed role in the church to fulfill those areas that needed to have someone there.
25:33
Daniel Moore: And so the areas that you supported and served in uh was a much better place because you were involved.
25:40
Daniel Moore: The places that I served in was a much better place because I was involved.
25:44
Daniel Moore: Right.
25:44
Daniel Moore: And now we do serve together now at this point in a lot of the things that we do.
25:50
Daniel Moore: But I think you can see just by looking at that how God changes seasons.
25:54
Michelle Moore: Yeah.
25:54
Michelle Moore: And I was getting ready to say, I think there's seasons of life that you're gonna be by yourself at some point as long as your spouse is supporting it.
26:02
Michelle Moore: And then there's gonna be times where both your both spouses are gonna be doing what God has for them at the same time.
26:09
Michelle Moore: What happens if you have a spouse that, like kind of like Sarah, that is in a calling that you know that God has called you to do, but the other spouse is not supporting, and you eventually be pulled out of that?
26:22
Michelle Moore: Like, where does your heart at that time do you think it's because the spouse hasn't recognized what they're doing in the midst of pulling the other one that's called something to do, that they will eventually recognize it?
26:36
Michelle Moore: Or it's just, hey, I don't want to do it, I'm not, you know, how do you handle situations like that?
26:43
Daniel Moore: Yeah, I mean, that's a very difficult thing to walk through.
26:45
Daniel Moore: But I think I know for myself, if I was, let's just use us for example, you know, if if for some reason I came up into that point where I was doing what I really felt like God called me to do, and you were very resistant to that and didn't want to be a part of it, then obviously the first thing you're gonna have to do is you're really gonna have to really get into prayer and start talking to God about this because part of that prayer is gonna have to be, God, if this is truly a calling on my life, I need you to work on my spouse's heart.
27:14
Michelle Moore: That's good.
27:14
Daniel Moore: I need my spouse's heart to soften because they are not on the same page as me.
27:19
Daniel Moore: And I really feel like this is what you're wanting me to do, and ask God to intervene in that situation and hopefully change that spouse's heart.
27:29
Daniel Moore: The other thing that you may do, you know, is as you uh go through that ministry that you're doing, definitely don't try to prove your points because I think sometimes when we, you know, well, I'll show you because we'll start seeing results.
27:47
Daniel Moore: People's gonna get saved with what I'm doing, or people's gonna walk out of darkness because of me helping them or whatever it may be.
27:53
Daniel Moore: And so you're gonna see and you'll I'll prove this to you.
27:56
Daniel Moore: You know, that I think that's a bad way to come at it because if you do it that way, then you're in essence criticizing your partner because you're looking at them like you're being critical that they don't understand who you are and what you're what you're trying to accomplish.
28:12
Daniel Moore: Um, I think that we just have to walk through that with grace and humility, asking God to guide and direct and everything that takes place in that.
28:21
Daniel Moore: And I'm just a true believer that I think that if it's a God thing and it's truly a calling that he's put upon your life, I think he will make a way for all of that to come together somehow and work through that.
28:34
Daniel Moore: Uh I don't know that it's it's there's a fine line there where it comes to where if a spouse is pushing themselves so hard against something that it totally divides you and could even be pushing you towards a divorce because they're that adamant.
28:52
Daniel Moore: That's that's gonna be an extreme.
28:54
Daniel Moore: But if it gets to that point, I think you probably need to bring in some other prayer warriors to help pray with you on this.
29:01
Daniel Moore: You're gonna definitely need to do a lot of soul searching to absolutely be sure that this is what God's called you to do.
29:07
Daniel Moore: Uh, you know, that this isn't a misunderstood thing that you've got going on.
29:12
Daniel Moore: That's gonna take a lot of prayer.
29:13
Daniel Moore: And because sometimes, you know, if if we do have a lot of resistance, which Satan's gonna resist us anyway, but if we have tons of resistance where it seems like nothing's going the right way, then we probably need to step back for a moment, do some more praying and reevaluate where we are just to make sure that we're not causing damage for whatever reason.
29:32
Daniel Moore: Uh, and a lot of that's gonna be validated probably by your spouse's walk with God.
29:36
Daniel Moore: Because if your spouse is truly a very heavy believer and really truly stays in prayer and tries to follow God's plan, but they are still super resistant against it, then both people probably need to pray about this to make sure who's right and who's wrong, because somebody's somebody's not in the right place at that point.
29:53
Daniel Moore: Um, so there's just multiple things.
29:55
Daniel Moore: I don't think there's really just a good and direct answer to that because a lot of it's gonna, I think it's gonna have to be hinged off of prayer.
30:02
Michelle Moore: And it's hard for me to be to think uh about, you know, I I know there's marriages that go through that, but it's hard for me sometimes to think, you know, if you're being obedient to Christ as a wife, I should be cheering you on.
30:18
Michelle Moore: And so it's hard for me sometimes to think as, you know, whether one spouse or the other doesn't cheer their spouse on.
30:27
Michelle Moore: And I, you know, it's like, oh, you have this ministry, you know, go for it, you know, we're right here.
30:32
Michelle Moore: I'm cheering you along.
30:33
Michelle Moore: What can I do to help you?
30:35
Michelle Moore: You know, it's hard for me at times to think that where would you be if I didn't do that?
30:42
Michelle Moore: Or vice versa, you know, and it's like, I mean, there trust me, he's like one of these people that go all the time, I cannot do that, and he knows that.
30:52
Michelle Moore: So when he's like up early writing his book and stuff like that, he he will tell me what he's doing, and I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, you know, that's cool.
31:01
Michelle Moore: But as in getting super excited in the morning, you might as well forget it.
31:05
Michelle Moore: And and he knows, you know, and super late at night, if he tells me something, it's the best time to tell me a secret because I'm not gonna remember.
31:12
Michelle Moore: But I I find it encouraging to myself to see you shine and doing what the Lord has for you and for the Lord to work through you.
31:27
Michelle Moore: Yeah, it's it's amazing as a wife how that feels, and I'm sure you feel the same way.
31:33
Michelle Moore: I do.
31:34
Michelle Moore: So it's like the encouragement that you see as someone's walking, it's hard for me sometimes to fathom that, but I know it happens.
31:41
Michelle Moore: I mean, I was married for pre I was married before, and he did not encourage me in any way, shape, or form.
31:49
Michelle Moore: So I know what it did to me personally and how I felt like I was worthless, but I see it totally different now, you know, with you as a man of Christ.
31:59
Michelle Moore: It's it's just totally different.
32:01
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
32:02
Daniel Moore: Well, a godly marriage says, if God called you to do it, I want to help you get there.
32:06
Daniel Moore: Oh, well, that's what that's what you were saying, pretty much.
32:09
Michelle Moore: Pretty much in those words.
32:10
Daniel Moore: Not so much the sorts.
32:12
Daniel Moore: So that's a very good good way to explain that with what you were just saying there.
32:17
Daniel Moore: You know, as we close out this section of this week's episode, you know, some of the strongest marriages are built by two people continually cheering each other towards God's purpose.
32:26
Daniel Moore: The biggest thing Satan wants to do is to cause division, especially when there's ministry involved.
32:32
Daniel Moore: And if it's two if it's two people in a household or a couple that's married trying to pursue God and do what he's called them to do, he will do whatever he can to destroy that calling that he's put up on somebody's life.
32:45
Daniel Moore: So is there anything that you want to add to this section?
32:48
Daniel Moore: Because we're gonna be on to something completely different here in just a second.
32:51
Daniel Moore: Uh, anything that you want to add to any of this at all?
32:54
Michelle Moore: No, that's good.
32:55
Daniel Moore: Yeah, I think we pretty well covered that uh the best way that we possibly could.
32:59
Daniel Moore: You know, whatever your spouse, uh whatever God's put up on their life, you know, if if you don't feel like that you have that same calling, which is very common, don't feel like you're out of the ordinary and a weirdo because you're not.
33:11
Daniel Moore: We are you are two different people.
33:13
Daniel Moore: And sometimes God has a different calling for you than he has for your wife.
33:17
Daniel Moore: Just Michelle and I, an example, uh, for a big span of years, over the last 15 years or so, and probably even more than that, uh we've served in total different spots.
33:28
Daniel Moore: And it's just here recently in this last couple of years that we've actually started serving together because God's moved us into a new season.
33:35
Daniel Moore: But up till that point, you and I did completely separate things and helped further the kingdom from our own directions.
33:42
Daniel Moore: And it was fun then when we did that.
33:45
Daniel Moore: But it's even more fun now that we get to work together.
33:47
Daniel Moore: So the next thing we're gonna move on to here, which is just a little tidbit of what goes along with work and a godly purpose, is finances.
34:13
Daniel Moore: And so we're gonna look a little bit about stewardship of finances for kingdom advancement.
34:18
Daniel Moore: So if there's one area in marriage that can turn a simple conversation into a full-blown emotional summit meeting faster than almost anything, it's finances.
34:26
Daniel Moore: Money has a way of exposing fears, priorities, habits, trust issues, communication problems, and even deeper heart struggles we didn't realize that were there.
34:36
Daniel Moore: One spouse buys something on sale because, quote unquote, we save money, while the other spouse stares at the bank account wondering how spending money somehow became saving money.
34:46
Daniel Moore: And let's be honest, most married couples have had at least one financial fellowship moment that sounded spiritual at first, but slowly escalated into so you spent how much at Target?
34:58
Daniel Moore: Somehow nobody in history has ever walked into Target for just one thing.
35:03
Daniel Moore: But beneath the humor, finances are one of the most serious pressure points in marriage.
35:07
Daniel Moore: Studies consistently show that money problems are one of the leading causes of stress, conflict, and divorce in relationships.
35:14
Daniel Moore: To add to that, that's actually the number one reason right now, and most of the studies that have been done for divorces.
35:21
Daniel Moore: And honestly, it makes sense because money is rarely just about money.
35:26
Daniel Moore: Money's connected to trust, it's connected to security, it's connected to priorities, to communication, to stewardship, and ultimately it's connected to unity.
35:36
Daniel Moore: That's why financial issues in marriage often become emotional issues very quickly.
35:42
Daniel Moore: So as we start talking about this this week, as we wrap up this episode, uh, you know, finances are, as I said, the number one reason for divorce right now.
35:52
Daniel Moore: Out of the top five, uh, that's the one at the top.
35:55
Daniel Moore: Uh, why don't you go ahead and start with the next point there?
35:58
Michelle Moore: Yeah, whereas financial secrecy grows, emotional distance usually follows.
36:03
Michelle Moore: One of the biggest reasons finances become painful in marriage is because God designed marriage to function in oneness, not separation.
36:13
Michelle Moore: Genesis 224 says that a husband and wife become one flesh.
36:18
Michelle Moore: That oneness doesn't stop at emotions or physical intimacy.
36:22
Michelle Moore: It includes every part of life, including finances.
36:26
Michelle Moore: Marriage is not two independent people living separate lives under the same roof while occasionally arguing about groceries and thermostat settings.
36:35
Michelle Moore: I don't know how we always get to the thermostat settings.
36:39
Michelle Moore: I really honestly think you have something wrong with that.
36:43
Daniel Moore: No, it's just an example.
36:47
Michelle Moore: I'm pointing at him because I know.
36:50
Michelle Moore: I know, I know better than that.
36:52
Daniel Moore: Hey, we're in finances now.
36:55
Michelle Moore: It's partnership, it's stewardship together, it's learning how to build a shared life with shared trust.
37:01
Michelle Moore: And when financial transparency disappears, trust usually starts disappearing too.
37:07
Michelle Moore: For example, if one spouse secretly builds credit card debt, hiding spending habits or makes major purchases without communication, the issue becomes bigger than dollars and cents.
37:21
Michelle Moore: The secrecy itself creates a breach in trust.
37:25
Michelle Moore: Even if the intention wasn't malicious, hidden finances often feel like betrayal because they violate unity.
37:33
Michelle Moore: Amos 3 3 asks, can two walk together unless they are agreed?
37:39
Michelle Moore: That scripture applies powerfully to marriage finances.
37:44
Michelle Moore: Couples cannot move in unity financially if they are hiding information, avoiding conversations, or pulling it in opposite directions.
37:54
Michelle Moore: And honestly, most financial conflict in marriage doesn't start with greed, it starts with lack of communication.
38:02
Michelle Moore: One spouse assumes the other spouse avoids, neither fully explains, and suddenly a conversation about budgeting somehow turns into bringing up something from 2017 that nobody even remembers clear anymore.
38:19
Michelle Moore: Because married couples have incredibility re ability to turn should we cut back on spending into you never appreciate anything I do.
38:32
Michelle Moore: Marriage is wild sometimes, but healthy couples learn that communication around finances must be rooted in honesty, grace, and teamwork, not blame and control.
38:45
Daniel Moore: And I think, you know, with this one, one of the things that really comes between couples pretty quickly is secrets.
38:52
Daniel Moore: And this is one of those areas that it seems absurd, but we know personally of people and couples that uh, you know, hide things from each other even now when it comes to finances.
39:06
Daniel Moore: You have one spouse that tries to stay out of it all, doesn't really care.
39:10
Daniel Moore: They just let the other spouse handle it.
39:12
Daniel Moore: And then you got another spouse over here that's, you know, racking up some credit card debt with a credit card the other spouse didn't even know that they had, and you know, creating bills and and all this kind of thing, and they're handling all the finances, and the next thing you know, you're in bad shape and nobody can afford nothing.
39:27
Daniel Moore: The other spouse doesn't know what happened because they never saw it coming.
39:31
Daniel Moore: Now we see why it's so easy to have problems in a marriage.
39:35
Michelle Moore: And sometimes there's gambling issues.
39:38
Michelle Moore: There, you know, you are doing things that you shouldn't be doing.
39:42
Daniel Moore: And when you say that control one spouse gambles and the others don't even know it sometimes, even until it comes to light because all of a sudden we're broke or they're in the hole.
39:52
Michelle Moore: Or they're not able to pay their yeah.
39:54
Daniel Moore: And then you've got and then you've got spouses that gamble and the other one knows they're gambling, but they can't get the other one to stop because it's an addiction.
40:01
Michelle Moore: There's just like multiple things.
40:02
Michelle Moore: There's so many things you can look at in that area.
40:05
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
40:06
Daniel Moore: And so we always encourage, even you know, we encourage our kids, we encourage anybody we talk to to be open.
40:13
Daniel Moore: So in our situation, I do the bills.
40:16
Daniel Moore: Michelle doesn't really pay much attention to any of that.
40:19
Daniel Moore: She just expects them to be paid and all that kind of thing.
40:21
Daniel Moore: She stays out of it.
40:22
Daniel Moore: It's our personality, it's what but I keep her updated all the time.
40:27
Daniel Moore: Well, I work she works at a bank, by the way.
40:30
Daniel Moore: I can see everything.
40:31
Daniel Moore: Yes.
40:32
Michelle Moore: So it doesn't, you know.
40:33
Daniel Moore: Right.
40:33
Daniel Moore: So she can look she can look at our accounts at any moment.
40:36
Daniel Moore: But when it comes to bill paying and all that kind of thing, I do handle all of that, but you and I constantly know our money flow.
40:44
Michelle Moore: And anytime a purchase is done, I I mean, granted, not no $25 for every dollar, we discuss it.
40:51
Michelle Moore: If it's a big purchase, we pray about it together.
40:54
Michelle Moore: Like, how do you feel about this?
40:56
Michelle Moore: Do you have a peace about it?
40:58
Michelle Moore: You know, it's like, okay, so if it's not the right time, we'll just revisit it, you know, when the right time is.
41:04
Michelle Moore: We've learned because we've gone through some hardship ourselves.
41:07
Michelle Moore: And we've made some bad decisions.
41:10
Daniel Moore: Yep.
41:11
Michelle Moore: And it was, it hurt.
41:13
Michelle Moore: I mean, it was hard on us.
41:14
Michelle Moore: Yeah.
41:14
Michelle Moore: It was hard on our relationship.
41:17
Daniel Moore: It's a lot of stress.
41:18
Michelle Moore: Yes.
41:19
Daniel Moore: And we've heard of some couples doing this before, and it's probably a good rule of thumb.
41:23
Daniel Moore: You probably need to have a dollar amount of when the two of you need to converse.
41:27
Michelle Moore: Yeah.
41:27
Daniel Moore: You know, I think that's a good smaller amounts, like you said, $20 or $10 or whatever.
41:34
Michelle Moore: Whatever, $100, you know, just within reason.
41:37
Daniel Moore: You know, those things you should be able to make that choice.
41:39
Daniel Moore: But there should be a number that if either spouse is going to spend that amount of money that you agree that, okay, before we do this, let's come together and talk about this and make sure, you know, what the reasoning is, how it's going to benefit us, or what it go, walk through all the whole scenario that get all your and your questions answered.
41:58
Daniel Moore: And once you both feel a piece about it, then go for it.
42:01
Michelle Moore: Well, some can some people may not agree with us on this.
42:04
Michelle Moore: They may be like, we have full, complete trust.
42:06
Michelle Moore: Our spouse can do this, they know where their finances are, and that's fine.
42:10
Michelle Moore: And I think we're so used to working with couples that have issues, you know, when it comes to that, that's why we're saying it.
42:16
Michelle Moore: But we're also, we just truly believe that we should work together because I know spouses that have come home with a new car and it's like, oh, hey, I bought this later on.
42:26
Michelle Moore: It came back to hurt them.
42:27
Michelle Moore: And it's like, you know, you bought this without even talking to me.
42:30
Michelle Moore: And I can only imagine how the other spouse feels.
42:33
Michelle Moore: You know, it's like, was I not even like where do I belong in this relationship?
42:37
Michelle Moore: And so I think it's just always important.
42:39
Michelle Moore: Now, I know all the passwords to everything, I know when everything's due.
42:44
Michelle Moore: I know how to get into it to pay it.
42:46
Michelle Moore: I'm not, I'm not someone just stuck in the corner that Dan just like whatever, you know.
42:51
Michelle Moore: I do and there was a season that I paid the bills.
42:54
Daniel Moore: Right.
42:55
Michelle Moore: So I switched back and forth over time.
42:57
Michelle Moore: So I mean, things just work.
42:59
Michelle Moore: Every marriage has I mean, they will have seasons where they want to pay, and someone may do it for the whole marriage.
43:07
Michelle Moore: They just may be better at it.
43:09
Michelle Moore: And Dan's better at it than me because I get to squirrel brain.
43:14
Michelle Moore: I'm like, oh, wait, I need to go do this.
43:18
Michelle Moore: And it's like, oh, I forgot to do that, you know, and it's like, okay.
43:21
Michelle Moore: Dan make sure it gets taken care of.
43:24
Michelle Moore: So it's like, okay, whatever.
43:26
Daniel Moore: But one of the reasons that this does come up in marriage is because, you know, financial unity really, if you think about it, it's a lot less about controlling money.
43:34
Daniel Moore: It's really more about protecting trust, is really what it comes down to on the bottom layer.
43:40
Daniel Moore: Uh, you know, another major challenge couples face is simply having different financial personalities.
43:45
Daniel Moore: Uh, this usually causes issues.
43:46
Daniel Moore: One spouse is naturally a saver, the other is naturally more spontaneous.
43:51
Daniel Moore: And with every marriage, you almost always have this.
43:53
Daniel Moore: You have a saver and a spender.
43:54
Michelle Moore: What happens up?
43:55
Daniel Moore: That's pretty common.
43:56
Daniel Moore: Uh I don't I don't well.
43:59
Daniel Moore: I don't know.
44:01
Daniel Moore: I I have a tendency I'm I'm actually kind of in the middle because I do like to save, but then I do spend but and we're both the same.
44:12
Daniel Moore: We're both kind of the same on that, but I think that's came with years of being married and we're sing we don't have kids really anymore that we support and you know we have our we both work.
44:23
Michelle Moore: Yeah, we have our we have Mr.
44:24
Michelle Moore: Wilford.
44:24
Michelle Moore: He's our our um most expensive dog, right?
44:28
Michelle Moore: We spend everything on him.
44:30
Michelle Moore: But it is.
44:31
Michelle Moore: It's it you're right about that, having the personalities, but I think it's good because I think the diverse of both of them, but yet at the same time, they have to work together.
44:40
Daniel Moore: Yeah, it can be a bad thing or a good thing, depending on how you handle this.
44:44
Daniel Moore: You know, one person may want detailed spreadsheets, budgeting apps, and a five-year financial strategy, and the other says things like God will provide.
44:52
Daniel Moore: You know, it's like, but we got to be fair about this because God absolutely does provide, but that doesn't mean Amazon packages or spiritual warfare exemptions.
45:00
Daniel Moore: You know, different personalities aren't the problem.
45:03
Daniel Moore: Every marriage brings together two different people with different backgrounds, habits, and perspectives.
45:08
Daniel Moore: The problem happens when couples stop working together.
45:11
Daniel Moore: Ephesians 4 9 says, two are better than one because they have good return for their labor, and that includes finances.
45:17
Daniel Moore: When husbands and wives handle money often as a team with prayer, wisdom, accountability, and communication, there's peace and strength in the home.
45:25
Daniel Moore: But when spouses work against each other financially, confusion and frustration quickly follow.
45:30
Daniel Moore: And there's a lot of scriptures about stewardship.
45:33
Daniel Moore: We talk about stewardship a lot in this marriage series and all different areas of our marriage, but money is a big one.
45:39
Daniel Moore: Proverbs 21 5 says the plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.
45:46
Daniel Moore: In other words, financial peace usually doesn't happen accidentally, it requires intentionality.
45:51
Daniel Moore: Budgeting isn't unspiritual, planning isn't lack of faith.
45:56
Daniel Moore: Communication isn't controlling.
45:58
Daniel Moore: Those things are actually wisdom.
46:00
Daniel Moore: God calls couples to steward resources faithfully, not fearfully, not selfishly, and not recklessly.
46:08
Daniel Moore: That means healthy marriages learn how to pray about financial decisions together, discuss major purchases openly, set goals together, save together, give generously together, and trust God together.
46:18
Daniel Moore: Because money handled God's way strengthens unity instead of weakening it.
46:24
Daniel Moore: And I think that if we keep that in mind, that when it comes to money, uh money should not be a target on somebody's back.
46:35
Michelle Moore: Right.
46:35
Daniel Moore: Um, whenever we get into some of these discussions with the marriages that we work with, it almost a hundred percent of the time we end up in financial conversations because those are usually a big deal and for a good reason.
46:50
Daniel Moore: Because if you have a spouse that, you know, like we was talking about earlier, let's say this the spouse that went goes and buys a car and doesn't let the other spouse even know about it until it pulls in the driveway.
47:01
Daniel Moore: Well, what would have happened if the other spouse would have bought the car and pulled it into the driveway?
47:06
Daniel Moore: Would that other spouse been so openly acceptable to it?
47:09
Daniel Moore: They probably would have been mad because they're not the one that bought the car and pulled it into the driveway themselves, you know.
47:14
Daniel Moore: You can see how that just gonna cause a conflict right off the bat.
47:17
Daniel Moore: Right.
47:18
Daniel Moore: You know, what's good for one person is not good for the other.
47:20
Daniel Moore: That's not how that works here.
47:22
Daniel Moore: You know, both people have got to be on the same plane with this.
47:26
Daniel Moore: Right.
47:26
Daniel Moore: Uh another point here is a budget may organize your money, but agreements protect your marriage.
47:32
Daniel Moore: So we have to remember that even if we do budget, we have to agree, come to agreements with how we handle our money.
47:39
Daniel Moore: Right.
47:39
Daniel Moore: Because that budget's not gonna work, you know.
47:42
Daniel Moore: Um we've got to make sure that we stay on the the the same page with everything.
47:46
Daniel Moore: Uh there's a verse in Proverbs 2723 that says, be diligent to know the state of your flocks.
47:52
Daniel Moore: And if you look at that in today's language, that sounds more like know what's happening with your bank account before the overdraft notification becomes your morning devotional.
48:00
Daniel Moore: You know, we don't need those overdrafts coming all of a sudden.
48:04
Daniel Moore: And one spouse is like, what in the world's going on?
48:07
Daniel Moore: You know, uh both of you have to be in the conversation.
48:11
Daniel Moore: And uh that way, whenever you do get things, you know, if things do happen and you're communicating on things and in agreement on things, that'll change the atmosphere completely.
48:23
Daniel Moore: So it'll be instead of you saying, Why did you spend this, the conversation then becomes, how do we move forward wisely together?
48:30
Daniel Moore: And when you come in at it at that angle, then that shift matters in the relationship.
48:38
Daniel Moore: So we're getting close here to needing to wrap this episode up.
48:42
Daniel Moore: So we have one more point here before we get to the point to to close it, and that's healthy financial conversations sound like and sound less like interrogation and more like partnership.
48:53
Daniel Moore: And again, this comes back to communication.
48:57
Daniel Moore: You know, when when couples pray together over finances or invite God into decisions and commit to honesty with one another, something powerful happens.
49:06
Daniel Moore: Your trust is gonna grow, right, your peace is gonna increase, fear is gonna lose control, and unity is gonna become stronger.
49:15
Daniel Moore: I mean, because of where we're at with where we are in our finances, that's not a struggle that we have, thank goodness.
49:21
Daniel Moore: We don't get up every morning so stressed out, worried about where the next bill payment's gonna come from and all this kind of thing.
49:30
Daniel Moore: Uh, because we know where we are, and and it is easy to get yourselves into trouble, you know.
49:37
Daniel Moore: It's Michelle and I have to watch it constantly and keep track of where we're at as well.
49:41
Daniel Moore: It's not easy.
49:42
Michelle Moore: Finances is not an easy thing, and especially when one wants to give something or or buy something.
49:49
Daniel Moore: Yeah, it definitely it it makes it difficult.
49:53
Daniel Moore: But we just gotta remember that the goal in this is not perfection and everything that we do and all the decisions that we make, the goal is unity.
50:00
Michelle Moore: Right?
50:00
Daniel Moore: It always comes back to that.
50:02
Daniel Moore: Regardless of what happens in your marriage, you both need to be unified in it and make sure that you both come to an agreement.
50:08
Daniel Moore: So this is a way deeper subject than what we're even gonna get into.
50:12
Daniel Moore: This just kind of touches a little bit on some of that as we look as our at our marriage being a mission field and how our work plays into all of that uh with our finances and all of that kind of thing.
50:24
Daniel Moore: So, did you have anything that you wanted to add to this one as we move on?
50:29
Daniel Moore: No.
50:30
Daniel Moore: I think really the biggest thing that we can say as we work with other couples and that kind of thing is be open and transparent.
50:38
Michelle Moore: Actually, that's funny because I was gonna say be open with your spouse.
50:41
Daniel Moore: Yes.
50:41
Daniel Moore: You I mean you and I both know how important that is.
50:44
Daniel Moore: Because if you keep those secrets and those secrets come out later, imagine what that does to your trust.
50:50
Daniel Moore: It becomes a domino effect.
50:52
Daniel Moore: And sometimes those things are very hard to repair when that happens.
50:58
Daniel Moore: Because if you're willing to do that in finances, that means you're probably holding back secrets somewhere else.
51:04
Daniel Moore: And it just it's gonna open up a big old can of worms that you're gonna have a hard time digging yourself back out of if you're not careful.
51:12
Daniel Moore: And I think, you know, with with us and the what God has expects the expectations God has of us in our marriage is He wants us to be open with each other and honest and be together with integrity, and that also comes to our finances as well, so as we come to the conclusion here of episode nine, just want to remember to go to our website at marriagelifeandmore.com and check out our platforms that we're on.
51:55
Daniel Moore: Please subscribe and share these episodes to people that might need to hear these and help them in their marriage.
52:01
Daniel Moore: And don't forget you can also get a copy of the book that we have out on this, Marriage as a Mission.
52:07
Daniel Moore: You can go to our website and pick that up.
52:10
Daniel Moore: And you can pick that up also all over the place.
52:13
Daniel Moore: Walmart.com, Barnes and Noble Books a Million.
52:16
Daniel Moore: Go to their websites, they're on all those different places on Amazon.
52:19
Daniel Moore: There's also a six session study guide that goes with this book as well.
52:22
Daniel Moore: And again, you can pick that up and our other books that are available at our website at MarriageLifeandmore.com.
52:30
Daniel Moore: Well, as we finish up episode nine this week, financial peace in marriage doesn't come from having more money, it comes from having more unity.
52:38
Daniel Moore: A healthy marriage understands this truth.
52:42
Daniel Moore: You're not enemies fighting over finances, you're partners stewarding God's blessings together.
52:48
Daniel Moore: When husbands and wives choose transparency over secrecy, communication over avoidance, and teamwork over division, finances stop becoming a source of destruction and start becoming a testimony of God's faithfulness within the marriage.
53:02
Daniel Moore: You know, at the end of the day, marriage was never meant to be two people simply coexisting while juggling bills, responsibilities, careers, and schedules until retirement finally shows up like the finish line of a survival contest.
53:14
Daniel Moore: God designed marriage to be far more meaningful than that.
53:17
Daniel Moore: He designed it as a covenant partnership in which two imperfect people help each other grow, heal, mature, and walk boldly in the purposes that He created for them.
53:26
Daniel Moore: That means supporting your spouse when they feel uncertain, praying for them when they feel overwhelmed, encouraging them when they feel discouraged, and choosing unity even when life feels stressful or confusing.
53:38
Daniel Moore: Whether if it's finances, ministry, career goals, parenting, or personal calling, healthy marriages understand something powerful.
53:46
Daniel Moore: You're not opponents fighting for control, your partners building something external together.
53:51
Daniel Moore: And sometimes the greatest act of love isn't fixing everything for your spouse, it's simply standing beside them and saying, I believe in who God created you to become.
54:02
Daniel Moore: So to close this week's episode, maybe the challenge for all of us is this.
54:06
Daniel Moore: Are we helping our spouse flourish?
54:09
Daniel Moore: Or are we unknowingly becoming a weight they constantly have to carry?
54:12
Daniel Moore: Because our words matter, our support matters, our communication matters.
54:18
Daniel Moore: The way we handle finances, responsibilities, dreams, frustrations, even disappointments either strengthens unity or slowly weakens it over time.
54:27
Daniel Moore: But when couples choose humility over pride, teamwork over competition, transparency over secrecy, and encouragement over criticism, something beautiful happens.
54:38
Daniel Moore: Marriage becomes a reflection of God's heart.
54:40
Daniel Moore: It becomes a place where purpose grows rather than quietly dies.
54:44
Daniel Moore: And honestly, in a world full of division, there's something incredibly powerful about a husband and wife who look at each other through all the chaos of life and say no matter what comes, we're walking through this together.
54:57
Daniel Moore: Strong marriages are not built by two perfect people.
55:00
Daniel Moore: They're built by two people who refuse to stop choosing each other, supporting each other, and pursuing God together.
55:08
Daniel Moore: Well, that's gonna do it for this week.
55:11
Daniel Moore: Next week, when we come back, we will be on to episode 10 in our series on marriage as a mission.
55:17
Daniel Moore: And we pray that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer after this episode.
55:22
Daniel Moore: This episode is recorded in the upper room at our Connecting the Gap Studios.
55:26
Daniel Moore: This is an extension of Connecting the Gap Ministries.
55:28
Daniel Moore: We pray that you have a blessed week.